Call Her Daddy - Bella Thorne: Disney, Dating, & Reclaiming Her Story

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Bella Thorne. Bella opens up about becoming the breadwinner for her family as a teenager, navigating life after Shake It Up, and her complicated relationship with her mom. She also shares the moment she caught her ex-fiancé cheating, her experience with revenge porn, and the resilience that helped her reclaim her story. Enjoy! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Bella Thorne, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Hi, thank you for having me. Oh, my God. I am so excited to be here with you today. We kind of like first as the world got to know you as C.C. Jones on Shake It Up. But you didn't let Disney put you in a box. You are now in the director's chair. And I feel like you have done so much in your life to just get to where.

you are today as the bellthorn we know and love. And so I am really excited to just learn more about you. Oh, thanks. The red hair is back. It's bitch, the girl is growing. Is it true that you dyed this yourself? Um, I did the original color myself. Yeah, I did. What inspired the return? Well, I woke up one day and was just like, I don't want the brown anymore. I did the brown to grow, also grow out my hair. You know, when you have like red, as you know, blonde, every time with the six week mark, you're like, the roots. And shadow roots don't really look amazing sometimes with red hair. It's just not as, you know, I like it like from from the tip, just like, yes. And then I woke up in my, my fiancee. I was like, you know, I really want to get this,

like, product where, you know, it says no bleach. It's a high lift color. but you know it says no please and I was like it says they have it at CBS and this little angel next to me in bed at 8 in the morning was like you know I'll go get it right now

and he went and got it and then an hour later my assistant Sam walked in she's like she looks at me she's like oh my God Jesus I don't know CBS said it was going to be I feel like so much of what I talk about

on this show is like becoming an adult, it almost feels like we all go through that phase where you start to have like revelations of your past. And it's either traumatizing or it's healing or it's a little bit of both. And I feel like I'm meeting you at a very like reflective point in your life. Is that fair to say? Yeah. Yeah. And so I kind of want to just go through it all today, Bella, because I'm fascinated. Let's do it. Okay. Just high level. What about your life? What about your life right now feels different from like all of your past eras in your past. That's a great question. So much. So much. I genuinely feel lighter on my feet. And I think mentally, I, at one point I was doing four movies a year. And I think I like really burnt myself out as well as at a time where I also didn't

know myself as much and I feel like in life we just keep learning about ourselves in that way, which is a really beautiful process if you're not like finger pointing at yourself and talking down to yourself every time you make a mistake, then it can be a beautiful process. But it's, yeah, it's it's hard to like work on the mental as well as be actually working all the time every day, you know. I feel like a lot of people can relate to that. Every out here be stunted. You know, we all got to be stunted all the time. It's fucking exhausting. It's like you get so burnt out and then you still have to pretend your stunts and you're like, oh, I'm here. And you're like, I'm literally. I'm literally. I feel like, and I bet if you said that to

yourself like years ago, like one day you'll just be sitting somewhere and be like, oh, I feel so much lighter. Like that's the goal for all of us, right? Because that means you're probably happier and you feel like alleviation from some of the pain that you were experiencing. Yeah. I saw that you posted a little recap of you're just like over the years and you called it the many eras of Bella Thorne. And so I want to play my own version with you today. Because I feel like this is a good way to kick us off and get into if anyone forgot. Let's go down memory lane. Oh, Jesus. I'm going to just show you a picture. You're like, is this a good time for me to leave the interview? Goodbye. I am going to show you. picture, literally just tell me what you remember from that and what comes to mind. Okay, starting off strong. Oh, Jesus. Starting off so strong. First of all, like, face is way too pale and it's looking really weird matching my like lower chest situation. I know everyone's looking at the chest and yes, it's very tan compared to my face. I'm going to start with when I went to this thing. I was dating somebody.

we wanted to match. He didn't like his outfit right before. And so he changed his outfit. So I changed mine like an hour before going so that we could still match. This is

2017. I also think 2017 is just like very nostalgic for everyone. It's like you know you where you were at 2017. Uh-huh. This also felt like your glitter queen. I was like glitter era. I was like so and I was glitter before this. And then this was also there.

A lot of people were like, oh my God, she's on drugs because she's wearing glitter. Like, what the? And I was like, no, man. I mean, I do smoke weed. But not on drugs. Just love glitter. Because I feel like every time I've ever heard people talk about glitter, a lot of them are parents.

And they're like, I think I have to move from my house because the glitter has just completely consumed my entire home. And I literally can't use a vacuum enough to get it out. 100%. Was it just all over. your house and you just kind of were like in your glitter era it's everywhere it will never leave the house i've found it in places you don't want to find it it's like in your vibrator you're like oh yeah it's in your toothbrush comes out you're like well damn i'm wet with glitter bitch

yes it's actually amazing okay next this is wow oh wow oh wow Filty Fang, Sarah. Yep. This is from your bitch on Bella Thorne music video. Oh, man, that song. Which this obviously completely broke the internet back in the day. Where did this idea come from? It was a song that started as a joke.

And then we'd play it for people and be like, oh, this is like pop it. And we're like, no, but it's like, it's funny, you know. It was like, I really loved. like the Jesse Eisenberg era and stuff with like, you know, like, on a boat and like dick in a box. And like that's how I viewed this. That's, that's a good era. Dude, that's such a good era. No one was that serious.

Everyone was having fun and was being like stupid in the best way. Exactly. You're right. This is very nostalgic. I remember you said in the rap, you said, been inside the club since I was hell of short. Honestly incredible What was a typical night out partying with you back then?

What it looked like? In this era is when I really started to go out and have fun. When I was younger, I was one, definitely a teacher's pet and have been dealing with the people pleaser era for a long time. And then had to get out, had to bust out,

how to break out, like boom, it's a bell of thorn. bitch I'm going Thorne. Like I'm going completely the opposite now. So ridiculous. So ridiculous. And yeah. So then at this time, I was having

fun. I was like in my music era too. Like with a lot hanging out with a lot of music people, producers, rappers just like. Getting after it. Yeah. Getting after it. And I think you can tell from this like hair

and the colors that I went through. I also heard that you are one of the only people who can keep up with Snoop Dog when it comes to smoking. Is that true or is that true? It's true. I'm obsessed. You're like, yes, Alex, this is true. What is smoking with him like? Smoking with him is awesome. He's got his big bus, which is insane. You've been on the bus. Yes. Oh, the bus is always there. Yeah, the bus is a must. So we go into the bus. We go into the bus. and there's just hella people and like hella smoke everywhere. Like it's a thick.

It's like where's the amount of oxygen compared to the amount of smoke in this area? Have you smoked weed? Do you like me? Yeah, I have smoked weed. But like the way that I couldn't even, I couldn't even, I'd enter the bus and I'd get high. I didn't even, I wouldn't even need to hit something. Like back in the day, I would smoke more. obviously now I'm not smoking because I'm pregnant but like no yeah really really you're not smoking

he's like I'm hitting the fog man on the stomach oh my god but like I would back in the day but I was always so fascinated by people who could just like hang because I remember when I interviewed whiz califa I was like mentally preparing the day I'm like okay like I know he's gonna offer me and like I've got to do it like come on like how am I not going to smoke with whiz and And literally I'm like taking like little baby hits. And I'm like, next question. And like my whole page. I'm like,

and I forgot my questions. And then I just started talking about random shit with like camping with him. We were little on the random. We're like uncle and I do you want to interview. It went so off the rails. I remember everyone in the room was like, what are you going to talk about? I'm like, I don't know my name. Like I don't know how to stand up from the chair.

Why am I here? Dude. I also call whose daddy. No, literally. Father? I was just in the hands of him. I was like take me where we need to go with. I also feel like Snoop is someone who is on almost everyone's dream blunt rotation.

For sure. Who is on yours? Yes, yes, yes. Woody Harrison. Okay. Yes. And I was with him. I was with him.

And at a after party for this movie he did with Christian Bale. And I got to meet him and Christian Bale, who was my favorite actor at the time, my sister who's older than me, she got to smoke with Woody. And I was just like, I'm too young to do this publicly. So I'm not going to smoke at this party. And I just remember being like, man, can I add you to this rotate? It's like I'm here. I'm breathing it in.

But I'm not smoke. But it's like it's kind of happening. Yeah. That's a good one to have on the list. Right. It's like I need it now. But I think he's not smoking anymore. I think you missed your moment

I missed it's okay but good for him yeah yeah I also think like this also could give this is what when I handed my house with my sister because why not handed everything

explain what you mean by that like we individually hand glued every rose on that wall and we took those feather boa's and we staple gunned them into the roof and made a whole feather boa roof. There's a dinosaur in the different pinks. I'm like, oh, forget about the dinosaur.

Yeah, yeah, forget about the dinosaur. Let's talk about the feather boa roof, okay? There's a dinosaur, and this is from what I understand, this is your dining room. Yes, yeah, that's our dining table. We had fun painting that dining table. I got the dinosaur for my sister, Derek, as a gift for one of her birthdays because she loves dinosaurs. She always has. And so I went to a props house.

And I was like, I want to get like a big ass dinosaur because like. Why not? Yeah. She fucking loves them, man. Yeah. We're eating dinner every night. Like, why not just have. What a cool birthday gift.

Like, is it like a T-WRex? Yeah. Or a velociraptor? Unclear. Oh, I think you're right. It might be a velociraptor. Yeah, I think you're right. You see the next room is completely blue and green.

It's split down the fireplace. That is a horse. Yes. Yeah, we got that made for one of our Coachella parties. And then, like, what do you do? And you, like, create things and then get things made. And, you know, you can't throw beautiful art away. You just bring it back to your house.

Which makes me like a pack rat. I end up looking. a little bit like a pack wrap, but I'm not in that era. And that's important to mention, Alex. When we talked at the beginning, we're like, you are so, we're reflecting that you're like, this is so not who I am anymore, but just so you know, this once was. So are the dinosaurs not in your home currently? No. And you know what? The person who bought my last home, his children loved the home. We designed that home as well. It was like one, right, you could see the evolution. Like, Oh, wow, this is like classy, but still crazy.

Like, there's still flowers everywhere, but it's not like this. And then we brought Derek to that house. And then his children, when they walked in and they saw that house, they wanted to keep it all. The same. And so Derek is with a new family now. Derek. Yeah, just pretty cute. Okay.

Last one, maybe best one. Are you ready? Baby Bella. Dude, my hair is kind of curled like that right now. You kind of look alike. What's happening? Whoa. I've de-aged.

There are no notes on this outfit. Really? Because it was such an era, the fedora, the layering. Like, how do you remember feeling when you were suited up this way? We had so much fun. There was so much fun to be had. And I remember when they made my CC boots and they were these. paint splattered, really like kind of 3D art sort of boots. And I love paint splatter. I've loved

it since then. It's like really become like color washing. It's like a big thing that I just really love. And it all kind of really starts back at this, at this era and this time. It's so weird to think I'm 12. That's why I was like, I needed to end with this so we can almost start with this. Because it's like this photo, I feel like really, yeah, it was the beginning of your journey in the public eye and it changed your life. And let's get into it. And maybe it's like the return of the red. Like it feels like we got we got to go down that path for a minute. Obviously, this role had a lot of dancing involved.

And I've heard that that didn't come naturally to you. Can you tell me more? You want me to talk about one of the. darkest traumas of my life. Let's talk about it. Bring it up. What happened? Um, yes, I could not dance. I was, I had two left feet and was so bad in general. And I could freestyle well. I knew a B and loved to dance when I was little and stuff. I would dance on tables my mom likes to say growing up. So she was always wild. Um, six years old on the table. Get her down. Um, and Yeah, so I had rhythm.

And then when it came to choreography, I had no experience whatsoever. And really like then experienced the like two left feet situation. That was so horrible. I mean, one of the worst times too, I would cry a lot. I would definitely cry a lot afterwards. And I was in a room full of like amazing dancers. So, so talented. And here I was in the front.

so horrible and all the people that deserve to be in the front are in the bag of me and I'm like looking to them like why am I here and it was a really weird experience in that way um uh Chris Thompson who is the creator of the show he was like when you walked in that ruby were C C Jones and there was nothing that no one could do about it um and yeah so she'll learn to dance which I did man did I learn well that's what so interesting is like that's kind of cool though to know that like they saw you as this character even though so much of the character required dance and you were like I literally can't do that and they're like we'll figure it out and they wanted to cast you anyways because I feel like so many people were always fascinated like you're this young kid you obviously start like not fully being able to go to real normal school anymore because this becomes your whole life who did you hang out with from the network like you're this Did any of them become friends? I didn't so much hang out with people from the network. I hung out with Sandaya.

We hung out. I was in a, we were, Shake It Up was in a different time when Miley and Selena and Demi and those shows, they were all, I think, 16, 17 when we were starting. So the eras are so different and yet they intersect. And I remember when I was told people asking me if I was going to be, you know, comparing us all the Disney girls with Miley and Selena and this new era and asking which was going to be the next bad girl. And are you going to be like Lindsay Lohan and like all these things at 1213, you're just your brain is like trying so hard. Like am I going to be like what?

Like what is the question? Like it's such a weird. Yeah, 2012. That is so crazy. Yeah, it's like, it's almost like what's so weird about that Disney era is you look back and so many kids that went through it. There was this experience where you were expected to stay kind of like a child because that's the demographic that you're appealing to. And yet the press is like waiting for that 16th birthday, 18th birthday where you're like, they're like, weird. weirdly sexualizing you, even though you're 12 years old. And so you're having adult

conversations somehow when you're still a child. And you're like, how is this working? Yeah. You're also spending all of your hours a day on set with adults. You know, that is, it's like such a different, the brains like, how do I? And I'm expected to be this child, but I'm also working like hours like an adult and being an adult conversations. And when I fuck up, it's my bad. Not like a child, it's my bad. Like, you're an adult, it's your bad. And you're 12. Yeah. And it's like the brain, I think has a really hard, I think just like cheers to everyone making it out a lot of like, you know, you know, too. Well, because there's no way to be that young and to be surrounded by that many adults and that become the norm to not have an impact on your mental health to some degree. Yes. I like how you reference though. Like, you know, you did have a relationship, obviously, because you were going to do. with Zendaya.

Yeah. And that, I'm sure having someone of a similar age was at least helpful. And that, do you remember the first time that you met her? And like, what was your first impression of each other? Yeah, meeting at the screen test, like the mix and matches and then the screen test. And I remember at the mix and matches, I think I liked her. like immediately, I think that our chemistry was the best. And I remember thinking she's so tall and I'm so short.

And then when they put us together for the screen test, I was like, oh, okay, they like it. And I remember us having to do the dancing and the freestyle. And I was like, okay, she can dance. And I'm not a dancer. I've got other things. My mom was like, you're going to work on it. Yeah, I did. of taking, like, between the pilot and the series of it being picked up, I did for that,

like, seven months take three dance classes a day. And, like, we do the auditions during the day and then, yeah, that during the night. And I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to be able to do this. And I think something that was interesting from that era that is so prevalent even still today in media is like, and I know you've talked about it a little bit before, like, how you and Zendaya were pitted against each other at that age on the show, even though it's like you're supposed to just be a duo and like, why can't we accept both of us? People can't, they don't, women with women. It's just, no, we have to, we have to make you guys all beg for one spot so that we can

have the 80 other million ones. But if you guys can beat each other down and like scrape till the whatever extent we're asking you to. like eat yourselves alive while we have all these spots but but but for women just just one just one of you and it's like I mean man the patriarchy has been doing it for obviously since the beginning of time but it really like yeah you just go back and you're like god damn they were 12 like literally 12 crazy what's wrong with you you're an adult and also it's a duo like we're not beating you other out like they're supposed to be best friends they play best friends no literally calls for a

both yeah it got it got pretty like it got pretty bad like uh you know and then and then you have your families and you have the rest of the set and everything and i think it got to a point where when we were on our good luck charlie crossover uh we escaped to another set in the middle of live taping which is really baldy, badass and like rebellious, very rebellious. What do you mean? You escaped. Escape does a funny word. We didn't escape.

But we like snuck out. We knew that we had three scenes until we were up again. And we were just like, let's just go talk. And we did. And we escaped to another set that wasn't being used on, you know, on another soundstage. And we're hiding up there. And then they were looking for us. we stayed a little too long. They were looking for us for that next scene. And we got into it,

like, hashed it out. And it was so beautiful. It was my first experience, woman to woman, girl to girl, where you actually can speak and you can both be heard about the different things you've been experiencing and what people are saying and how they're trying to do this to you. And you can walk out of their, like, seeing each other. It was, yeah, I think it's definitely in there in the book still as one of the most genuine girl-on-girl-on-girl talks, you know? Yeah. Well, what's also so crazy about that is like how, again, young you were. And to have all of the people that were pitting you guys against each other be adults.

And so then the fact that the fact that the two children in the room, the 14-year-old did that. this point. 14-year-olds were able to be adult enough and be like, can we just have a private moment? Because are you feeling what they're trying to do to us and to be able to hash it out? That's really incredible to have the foresight from both of you to be able to have a mature conversation. Because like parents and managers and all the people, directors, I can imagine a lot of kids

in Disney were like, oh, of course I thought that person hated me because an adult's telling me that. So the fact that you guys were able to see through it. And the media. The media is telling you this. The fans are telling you this. You know, love you guys. But y'all be out there getting a little too crazy.

Can we all give everybody a little bit more? Grace. Can we just let everybody breathe just a little bit more? I also think because the backstory of, you know, I can't speak for Zendaya, but for you, I know, like, your journey was this wasn't just, something that you stumbled upon and you were like, this is fun. Like you became the breadwinner at 13 years old. So this was, this is putting food in your entire family's mouths.

And so to reduce it to like girl on girl drama, this was a full job for you. Yeah. I couldn't afford to make a mistake in that way or be like, oh, I'm going to have drama or this and not revel in anything. I didn't, yeah, so Dea definitely was probably the only person on the channel that I hung out with. And it's like, because I think the theme too of like, you're 13 and you're taking on real adult responsibilities. Can you share just like what was your family's dynamic and financial situation prior to you getting shake it up? And then when you got it, what did that mean to your family?

When we moved to L.A., my father died shortly after when I was nine, and he did not leave us with anything, more life insurance or anything like that. So my mom was in, I don't even know how she did it, four kids and nothing, and a house in her name that she didn't sign for in foreclosure. and yeah, and he died in a motorcycle accident, so it was quite sudden. And it was just really bad for a long time. My mom was working. She was also trying to take us to every audition that she could. And you've got four kids all with auditions, all on opposite sides of the town. And just kind of running herself ragged as well.

as us just knowing all the time if what was going to happen if we didn't get that job. Yeah, it was a shitty way to, I think, learn how to work. And yet it's one of the things I'm most thankful for at the same time. That's something I know I can always do is work. But I had at such a young age, I'm so sorry, obviously, for everything you just described of like, that's so much as a kid to take on that like it sounds like you're basically just in fight or flight 24-7 once your father died

and your whole family including your mother is scrambling to be like somebody get a job and then you happen to be the one that that got the big job and we knew there was money going to be like food on the table money for the house like we knew that at least we would have a constant and paycheck.

And that was just, you know, you'd get a guest star on a show and be like, oh, maybe they'll make you a reoccurring. Maybe they'll make you a reoccurring. And I had done other things, but this was that thing of, oh, thank goodness. And I remember, like, I remember my mom couldn't coach me for the audition because I was always the girl that was really good at drama and the dark things. But I wasn't the funny one. and that was my sister, Danny, and she tested on Wizards.

Yeah. And so my mom knew that at least she had gone far enough with Disney, and they liked her. So she had her, like, coach me for the audition and pick out my outfit, which I'll never forget, is, like, this, like, off-the-shoulder 80-style sweatshirt that has a CC on it, which is why we wore it. and like these leg leggings and these like little gray ballet flat things. And yeah. And I wore that outfit almost, I think it was 13 times. Yeah. You bring it back every time.

Every callback you bring the same thing. Yeah, it was my good luck outfit. I also am wondering like having your whole family essentially be in the dynamic of like someone make enough money to help us all survive. There's probably something so exciting at first where you're like, oh my God, I got it. I'm the one that's going to like, I've got this big thing. But then also like that's like oddly now everyone's like, okay. So now we all have to turn our attention basically to you because now we support all

of our energy into supporting Bella. But that's a lot of responsibility on just now you. Like how did you and your mom? at that young of an age even discussed the dynamic. My mom checked me real quick. I remember when we finally got to move and we were going to rent a house. So that was very exciting. We'd stayed in this like two-bedger apartment for a long time at that point.

Stefan and the four kids and mommy. And so it was kind of a lot in them when my dad would come in and he would stay. And I remember the excitement. I'll never forget. It was like raining, which it doesn't opt in L.A. And we had just gone to the grocery store and everyone's in the car and I'm all the way in the back. And my mom's talking about these like different options of houses that we could rent. And I was like, I said something like, well, I should also get to pick.

I should also have a say because I got the show. my mom turned around and said what what what child what child you know i'm from florida so it didn't go down well oh she was like don't even think about it an 11 12 year old child you think you should have a say in the house but then at the same time you're like yeah but don't i also get a say i just want a room No, you're also like, but yeah, because I'm, we're getting house because I'm going to, now, I'm going to go work now. Yeah. Like, I want the prince's bed. Right.

Can I get the bed? I want the bed. But, okay, this is where I think this leads to understandably very complicated dynamics. Yeah. Because, yes, it is hard because I'm sure with your other siblings, it's like you don't want to come off. It's like, but it's like, but you are making all the money. How did you and your mom talk about? the money that you earned and where that was going and what you were going to do with it.

I don't know that it was ever that spoken about. When we were modeling, we would get like $5, $10 for each job. And then we'd get to go to the store and buy toys. And I think that now you went from like making like, you know, $100 with your modeling job. and then like, you know, $10 to you or whatever, too, like, oh, actually now you're making like a sag rate as a child, you know, and I forget their day rates, but maybe it's $800 to $1,000, somewhere in there. So now you're dealing with like real like, oh my God, this isn't just $50 I can pocket after, which is something, but it's now this is something else. This is a different thing. And I'm not sure that anyone was ever given the proper tools to, speak about money. It was like, you got that job? We got that job.

Like, oh my God. Like, we're going to go out to dinner. Like, you know, let's go to the store. You have to, my mom was very big on like rewarding yourself. And that's something she definitely taught me from a young age. And now I'm like, mommy, I need to say, girl, mommy. But yeah, she, that was one thing that she always wanted to I think make sure that we celebrated our own self, that it didn't all always go nowhere, in a sense,

nowhere we could see or celebrate, celebrating you still being in a house. But as a child, there's, yeah, you don't quite understand the, you just understand it scary and it's really bad. And hopefully we never go there. And that's why we're not going to, it's always going to be this conversation. We're never going to get to what that conversation is going to look like. And I know you and your mom have had a long journey of a relationship as most children with their parents do. But obviously, I think there was an added level for you because your mom wasn't just your mom. She then was your manager. How did you guys navigate that dynamic? Yeah, the momager thing. Not really sure how we navigated it. I had.

had a manager, which I still work with, Thor. Yeah, I just worked. I don't know that there was any navigating. It was like, this is an amazing opportunity. Should we do this? Like, should we do that? Coming off of the channel, so much pressure. What are you going to do after the channel? Like, you're not going to stay another year. Like, you're going to go. And I really wanted to do more acting. And I remember that pressure. just being so high off of, off of the channel and like, you can't do this because you're still funny. You can't do that because you're a little girl, but you're also a teenager, so you can't do

this because you're not a little girl anymore. And it was just like eight million things at once where your brain is like, I don't even know. I think a lot of that period of my life is sort of like blocked out in a way. Yeah. You just like needed to get through it. Yeah. Do you, no, you're okay.

He has a tissues on the show. Yeah, we got him. I got you. I can't help but also feel for you, Bella, when you're talking about that too, because it's like the feeling of like, I'm sure after long days of work, you're like going home. And then this momager role obviously isn't going to just turn off. Yeah.

And so there's so much pressure of like you just want to be a daughter for a second with your mom and be like, oh my God, I got to leave my work at home, but instead it's like planning what the next thing is. Like, do you remember a specific moment that when you look back, you're like, oh, I just remember. Like, that's a good example of like where lines were kind of like blurred between I needed my mom and instead I was kind of getting my manager. The feeling of going home was literally just wanting to be good at something. Like, felt like I tried so hard to be good at all the things in my life. And it was just never enough.

I try and take, like, some of that pressure off myself now. But it's kind of, like, you know, beaten into me in that way, like, hard to just get away from it to retrain the brain and new thoughts. Yeah, I just wanted to be, like, good. and I just never was actually good. There was always more. And then with the comparing and always never enough. And then I got really close to my teacher on, shake it up. And I loved to learn.

And I would go home and she would give me like a lot of homework. And that's what I would stay up all night doing. And my mom would get so mad, like so mad. and she like put a complaint in. Love you, mommy. I'm sorry. But she put a complaint to Disney of like this. She doesn't have time to study her lines at night because she's doing so much schoolwork. And my teacher never backed down. She still gave me just as much. My teacher, Monique, on Shake It Up 2, she brought me from like, I don't know, like three levels in two years.

Like I went from not being able to add and subtract double digits. numbers at 12, which is not good, to like, doing like three grades above and being, being able to like read in front of people and being so good at math. And yeah, which I've mostly forgotten now, which is just such a dick. Such a dick, man. but yeah that was definitely a time where I was like you could be

more mommy than than manager I definitely need to know my lines but school is also like something I was so made fun of and so bad at to then be like actually good at something and I just wanted to like keep keep being good at something right and it's like

yeah that's such an interesting point about like developmentally you're feeling behind and to not have your mom be more like, oh my God, I want to make sure my daughter is set up for like the rest of her life in that way. She's right. And I feel like it's because she had to deal with that so much growing up. My mom came from such a bad, broken household that all she wanted to make sure

was that she, her kids weren't going to have to worry like she was. And she did. She, you know, she set me up for that, you know. I always have to worry. I always have to keep working, you know. But she, she gave me, she pushed me to give me a chance that so many people don't get in that way. And whether it was through a lot of tears, I feel like she's like a really hard soccer mom. You're like, you didn't kick the ball hard enough.

mom gives you that look, the death stare, like, oh, Jesus, I'm so scared now. That look. Did your mom ever give you that look? Like, maybe not as intense, but yes, but I know that I know the feeling where you're like, I just want to make my parent proud. But also when you step away from it, again, in this like reflective era, you were able to look back and have grace for both your mom from knowing what she came from. But also it doesn't take away from the fact that like, oh my God, it was so hard. And you just, you actually just wanted your mom to be your mom. And as much as she probably from her own trauma as a child was like, oh my God, money is all that matters. That will make them feel safe.

Yeah. Your intellect and your intelligence and developmentally, like you were actually really struggling and you felt really, it sounds like not great about yourself in that area where you're getting made fun of. And you're like, I actually want to pour also into this. And so you're trying to do your homework at night and to have your mom be like, no, just focus on the paycheck. It must have been so divided for you where you're like.

I would tell my mom, I'd be like, I don't know why you're so mad at me. Like, I don't know why you do this to me. Like, I eat my vegetables. I love vegetables. I'm good at schoolwork. I do my schoolwork. Like, I try so hard. Like, and so many other kids, I don't do drugs.

I don't do this. I don't do that. And, man, I would say that to her, like, yeah, quite a few times. And I felt like I literally did what people on, like, in movies and in books, said if you did this you were a good child if they ate their vegetables if they did good in school if they you know said please thank you i always had manners i didn't talk back to my mom till i was 17 and like literally um and i always yeah i always had this feeling and now i get to experience my mom in such a completely different way um which is very healing very rewarding um

what was a hard time no yeah like what was your relationship like with your siblings because were you ever resentful? Like you're like, fuck, I just wish I got to be one of like, like, like how they're living like, you know, more maybe a normal situation compared to there were so much pressure on you because if you dropped the ball, it wasn't a normal kid dropping the ball and you didn't do your homework. It's if you drop the ball and you get kicked off the show, then you're literally losing the house and you're losing everything. There were higher stakes for you than your siblings. I don't know that I had time or that. I had time or the mental space to even be resentful in any sort of way. I always felt that they were resentful

of me, you know, because there's only like one mom, you know, my dad's dead, so we don't have that other person. And there's just this one mom who only has this amount of time and I'm taking up all the time now. So I always felt like, yeah, that that that kind of, kind of in a way somehow like distanced me a little bit. I always felt like like don't look at me funny. Like it's not it's not my fault. Right. You're like if anything, I wish there was more attention on you guys. Like I don't want all this pressure. Did you ever have conversations with any of your siblings about that as you got older? As we got older, yes. I think we've had conversations about what it just was like to grow up in that way. But I don't know that

Yeah. I don't know that they would ever tell me if they were like genuinely resentful. No, it is so interesting. Like when you think about sibling dynamics growing up in a household and how different people experience your parent, right? Like you experienced your mom one way completely different. The fact that like some of your siblings may be like I was vying for her attention and you were literally like, I just wanted a break for a second. Like I just needed it a second. it's so interesting how under one roof you can experience such a different complicated dynamic with one individual. And you understandably are too young to be able to share that experience. And so it's like kind of quite isolating. You're just in your room alone. And they misunderstood you probably and you misunderstood them.

And then that's a lot as a kid. And we weren't given in that time at all any resources to help. There was no resources. There was no talk to your children about this. Talk about that. There was no children have consent. Like consent. What?

A child gets to consent? I thought that the parent is in charge of the child. And the child has to do whatever the parent says to do. What do you mean? Consent is a new word? Like you learn, wow. So many things now that were never, those are never a thing. Do you think, Bella, because I know you've talked about it.

And I know you and your mom have a, it seems like you've, you know, I know I think you went to therapy together and you repaired your relationship, but there was kind of this like fallout moment between you guys. What do you think it was that kind of like tipped the iceberg for you where it was like enough is enough. I need a break essentially from this. I was turning 18 soon and I could feel the like erraticness coming there. Again, not having the space to be like, let's actually talk about what happened when you turn 18. I think I was so scared and my mom was so scared. We were both so scared. And when I was shooting Midnight Sun, I turned 18 on that movie right before we started shooting. And yeah, it was not a great time. And one day in the middle of the night, I think she could tell

that, you know, I was starting to have like financial meetings to start to meet with business managers and kind of actually like understand what was happening there. And yeah, that ended quite fractured. And I moved out that night, um, with my boyfriend at the time, Greg. Um, and yeah, in a blink of an eye, I'm, um, I'm, um, um, and, yeah, in a blink of an eye, I'm, this one person and in moments later I've met completely other person and I have no idea where to go or what to do or I don't have an ID. I don't have I don't have anything. I literally don't have anything. But I'm just going to go because I just can't do this anymore. And I think between everything with a lot of the work and growing up in the way that I did, I struggled very badly with super,

suicidal thoughts and depression, and I thought at one point, like, if I had hurt myself, that maybe she would see how much pain I was in. And I knew when I was there at those thoughts that I had to, like, leave. Yeah, I was like, I don't want to keep thinking about that. So that was to answer your question, long-wounded way. I've answered your question. The, um, I guess the cruxed of, yeah, leaving. You had to protect yourself. You were realizing, like, if I keep going at this speed, I may not be here anymore. Yeah.

And that's not what anyone wants. So I have to leave as much as it's going to hurt her and it's going to hurt me. It's going to hurt less than staying. Mm-hmm. When you did leave, though, you left basically your siblings also. Like, did you have any understanding of, like, how to access your bank account and, like, all that information, like, I can't even imagine. No, I didn't have any of that information.

And the person who I was dating up the time, Greg, Salkin, who I loved very dearly, and we went through so much together in this time. And he showed me how to be an adult, which is a lot to ask of, you know, your, like, relationship, someone that you're dating. But you're like, oh, my God, this person is really like. not an adult yet. And it's never, he was always like, that's weird,

you don't have access to this. We're like, you know, you need to know these things. Like, it took me to get my ID. It took me to. Wait, and why didn't you have an ID? I didn't drive. I don't drive.

So I never got my driver's license. And so then I, like, had a state ID at some point. Yeah. But it was just like basic to some people, more basic life skills that you were like... Didn't have. Yeah. And then when you finally pulled away from kind of being in that house with your mom, you're like,

whoa, although I felt like a kid for so long, I am 18. Like maybe I should know what my bank information is and maybe I should know all these things. And what's so hard is sometimes it does take that extreme of a break away from a parent when it is that codependent situation. and then other people being like, wait, wait, like Greg being like, wait, babe, like, that's weird. No, no, that's weird. And someone who just is like loves you for you and is just like, I have no skin in the game to then help.

I also think like there must have been such a turning point when you leave, shake it up and you're kind of like basically done with your Disney era. We're dealing with obviously like you going through mentally this like rupture with your family essentially. but then also you're leaving an environment that had such expectations on you as a human being. And I think a lot of people have talked about this. Like the Disney kid and what you were supposed to be and emulate and present to the world. Meanwhile, it's kind of still a time that you're trying to be like figuring yourself out as an adult. Like how did you manage trying to soar in your own right and find your own image outside of that really like specific constraints that they put? under and on you.

Well, I think people can see how I've managed it publicly. They can see it. They've got photos of it. They got all the photos. Oh, wow. I don't know that I ever handled it or balanced it out correctly. I don't think that I ever had that mental clarity. I've worked a lot on the more recent side.

I got to a point where I just needed to kind of change things in my life and get better at. I was working so much and yet was leaving very little time for the things that I really, really cared about. And so I started to focus on that this year and last year. And then after I made this movie, Cullier Her, I put all the heart and soul. and then didn't, didn't have much left afterwards and had to, you know, really wanted to get into the mental health aspect and the brain aspect and just get better on, on things and give myself some space to breathe and grace. So I don't think I ever did that when I was younger, but I do remember when I turned 18 and in that 18 to 19 year, I was like, I'm,

free. Like, I'm literally free. Like, I'm walking into this house. And no one's asking me when I'm like, when I'm going to be there, when this time, or when I'm going to leave. It's like, was such a weird. Yeah, and you don't know what's weird until someone else tells you it's weird. And then you're like, oh, my situation is not normal. Okay, cool. Like, I still, like, my mom held my hand walking across the street and for good reason, because streets are scary and sidewalks are scary inside situations. I don't like them, roads, don't like them driving. don't like it. However.

Don't like it. True. But yeah. Like I didn't walk across the street without halting her hand until it was like 16, 17 for sure. And I'm still, I run across the street. When I cross the street, I run. But I think that's what's so interesting, Bella, because you're like, I sprint. I literally sprint really on.

If you see me out in public, I'm so, don't be afraid. I am not walking. No one's chasing me. We're fine. I think though that's kind of like the weird dichotism. me we were talking about earlier of like you're a child around adults so you have to act like an adult and you're forgetting your line and all these adults are mad at you but then you're still being treated like a child by the adult in certain situations but really being adultified when

you're on set but then money and all of this is being caged from you so you're and then you're just like am i am i or am i not and that's something that you really start to see a change in when you start to bud, like, bunning is such a weird phrase. Like, am I a flower? But it makes them. I know. But you're paying the bills. Right.

It's weird. But when you start to get more feminine and womanly, that's another thing that starts, that starts going into that little equation that you've just said. All of it. And that starts getting weird too. You don't physically look like a child anymore. But you're still mentally operating like, well, what does my mom say? What does my mom say?

And then eventually you're like, should I keep asking what my mom's or should I move out? Then you move out. And then I remember the press was so hard on you. I literally wrote down they would say things like Child Star Gone Wild, Lindsay Lohan in training. I know. Imagine telling the 12-year-old guy. Right.

You said what? And it's like... Lucy Lohan. Right. I loved those movies. Me too. We love you, Lindsay. What do you mean?

What's wrong? You go from working. when most kids are just experimenting and doing things. So then when you get away from that, it's understandable that then you're going to go experiment. This is not a new idea. We've seen it. People were debating if I was wearing a training bra or a bra.

Yeah. Like, can we? No. Can we think about it? No. No. No. And so these, yes, they're like sexualizing you to a degree where you're like,

I literally can't win. This is really weird. Look at them. Not the puffy nipples. Like, you know when you get to that stage, the puffy nipple comes first, and that is the worst. And everyone is talking about it. How do you think all of this, I know you were talking about that early relationship with Greg, but like all of the over-sexualization and people talking about you, like, how do you think it impacted your early relationships and what you were looking for in dating?

Not well. Not well. We'll start there. I think when something has been put on you so long, my response was, okay, then I'll take it. You want me to be that? Then I'll be it.

And I'll be it even more. How about that? You really want to fuck with me? How about this? And that is like, it's kind of, yeah, it's kind of how I grew up. And then when people would point that out,

like, oh, like, so you're really trying to be bad, right? Because you're like, you're a Disney girl. Like, then that would really. like send me like just soaring and in anger someone like seeing that seeing this seeing you for who you are in that moment and you're trying yet everything else to be something else in a way is a really weird it's not a phase mom right right you're trying to prove everyone wrong you're like no no no I'm not affected by that right and then at some point I was just like oh you think I'm fucking like, look at her.

Wow, she's hot. Oh, you want to see sexy? I'll show you sexy. It's like, you're like, I'm going to push back 10 times harder. If you're going to tell me I'm this, then watch, I'll do it. Watch me be a whore. No. Bitch you want me in my whole face?

Watch. Watch and learn. But at some point, I feel like that is actually what causes the rebellion is like, how many times are you going to say? Are you going to do it? Then I'll just do it. Uh-huh. Then I'll do it. Literally.

You like have to stop seeking. Because if you're going to keep saying, right, you're like. You wanted it. So. And you're saying it when I'm not doing it, so I might as well do it. Let me see what this is all about. Well, pretty sure. You have called yourself a relationship hopper before in the past.

It was like, someone called the therapist. Call her in. I mean, I want to hear from you like, what was it like when you would have spurts, even if they were small alone, that you didn't like about that? I was never alone. I always had my vibrator. You're like, Alex, please do not assume because I was absolutely always the clickbaits of this video. Guys, go watch the caller daddy interview. This is literally, that is like the title.

Like, you're never alone. Grab your vibrator. Dude, I'm dying. Okay, so you prefer, though, to be in relationships because you really, you did not want to actually physically be alone. I'd never been alone since I was a child. I'd always been, I grew up in a family of four And my mom being best friends with her growing up And, you know, we'd have sleepovers.

We'd, you know, travel somewhere, sleep in the same bed. Like, I grew up never alone. And yeah, and then all of a sudden, oh, broke up with this man Because like, yes, queen, get rid of him. And then like, oh, God, I'm alone. I'm sitting in this chair. What am I doing? And it was just the scariest feeling being alone was so frightening.

And I'm not totally sure for what reason other than you just didn't spend that much time doing that. Now I'm like, oh, I get like two days alone. I'm like, eight, eight masks later, watch me bitch. And I'm going to watch whatever I want to watch. Okay, I'm going to watch it all night because I'm a binge watcher. Now you're more comfortable. Yeah. When you were avoiding being alone, what kind of partners were you attracting?

Like, were there any patterns you look back and you're like, oh my God, I kept going for this type of guy. The artsy people, they need to stay away. That's too much. That's too much. Don't go back to that time. I'm surprised you didn't pull out like eight other arrows. Oh, yeah. When you started, I was like, speaking of.

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, what is this pap shot on? The curb. Oh my God. No, literally. Artsy. And do you mean? My house at one point was filled with just actual trash bags and literal just cardboard.

Cardboard from places on the street. Just like people left their cardboard out. You know, they were moving and they got rid of it and like cut up and then painted on. Like I dated a lot of artists. Oh, you mean like not even. Literal trash bags. You mean. I mean literal artist.

Artists. Paint. paint brush and trash bags and cardboard and anything else you could paint. And I went through that era of my life too. I love painting. So that was like a point. I was like, oh my God, look at them and they don't give a fuck. Like, that's amazing.

Like I love just being like, I'm going to paint on this thing. I see a wall. I'm going to paint on it. I see this thing. I'm going to paint on it. Like, what a beautiful way to live life. That's how I was thinking. And I still can agree.

Yeah, yeah, a little balance. Like, I just painted my dresser. Okay. Okay. What color? You know, baby blue from dark brown, cute, baby blue and with red flowers. Cute.

But maybe, like, not your whole house is what you're saying. And maybe, like, not the cardboard. Yeah. The cardboard trash, I mean, actual trash, people's, other people's trash that is now in my home with, you can only imagine what else is in other people's trash in my home. And it's, it's painted on now. They keep painting on it, so they keep putting it there, and I'm not going to throw someone else's artwork away.

How did you realize that these relationships maybe weren't the best for you? Oof. Seeing how people treated me during that time is what made me think I needed to get away. It wasn't the cardboard. Yeah. It wasn't the cardboard. Now I go, girl, you put up a lot of shit. I am that person, though.

In a relationship, I'm like, yeah, like, whatever. Fuck yeah. You want to do some shit? Fuck, yeah. like let's do it. And then until you start doing some shit you're not supposed to do

start treating me disrespectfully start knick knack and poking like not you start that oh we're gonna see that cardboard in the trash

we're gonna hear about that art now like and I don't know if it's the Libra in me you do not want to come over here this is a good segue this is a good segue because I want to play a little dating game lore with you. Okay. I'm going to give you just like a quick, like a scenario or just like a

situation to topic. And any story that comes to mind just quickly tell us, hit it, hit it with us. Okay. Have you ever walked out on a date? Yes. Walked out, walked out of the car. Um, I got, he picked me up and he put his arm like that to open the car door, which was offensive for obvious reasons. And so then when I checked him on it, he was like, oh, what, you expect too much. You expect too much. And I was like, you think that opening the door and getting out walking your merry little ass two feet on over to my side to open my door is expecting too much. Then we should stop right here because you will never, you will, we are actually bad for each other. You have no idea what's coming your way. And so I got out of the car. He did the, he did the, he did the lean and a little

push open. You said, sorry, you're not getting any pussy. You're not. You're not. You're not getting nothing. No, you're, you literally are getting trashed. And you're some fucking cardboardy piece of shit. We, I got out in the middle. Like, we were at, as soon as we got to the stoplight and it turned red, fucking got my ass out of there. And he was saying, what are you doing?

What are you doing? And it's like, going to turn yellow soon. He's like, he's like trying to like, then get out of his side as I'm walking my happy little ass back home. I was like, no, literally I, you expectation. Oh, I expect a. a lot. I got ready for you. Now, are we, are you, this is showing up on your date and you're not going, like, that's too much. Open the door. Open the door. That is, oh, you have no idea what's coming

later. Okay. Okay, that's amazing. Okay, what is the worst time someone has given you the ick? Oh my God. I dated somebody that on a plane told me that they should have straight parades. Yep, you heard me You heard it You heard it I didn't hear you She said Take it back

Rewind What? I dated somebody That said On a plane That they should have Straight parades That straight people

Are allowed to have straight parades I don't know why he had to say it Pilot Can we Drop this bitch off Can we Throw out You're going to say

Is an exit T Parachio My bitch. No. Yes. Uh-huh. And I don't know if he was just trying to get a reaction out of me.

He just wanted to see me and spend it. He wanted to see me get rolled up. He wanted to get under my skin. Oh, yeah. And it worked. And it really worked. Yeah. It worked.

I'm going this way when we get out. I don't care where actually you're going. I didn't see him for a while after that. And then he said, oh, you're joking. Shut up. Shut up. Why would you even joke? You think that's fucking funny?

It's not. think it's fucking funny. It's not funny at all. That's disgusting. What is the most unexpected place that you've hooked up with someone? When public says back there, it's like, now, Bella. She just starts saying prayers. I hooked off with someone outside of my house in the front yard when I was throwing a party.

You just made that seem like it was like drink or tell the story. And were other people around? Okay. People were walking indoor to go to the party. Welcome! And, yeah. It's a good way to... I was, I was getting freaky on the other side of the car. I love that for you. Yeah, and then I realized that there was my camera. But it's just for your viewing. And I looked up, if you get what I mean, I looked up. I got my point. Mm-hmm. And then I saw the camera. And then I realized that in my kitchen, I have all the, all the, all this. Oh, so everyone in the party is like, oh, look at camera.

Get it. Look at camera X. Girl is talented in many more ways than one. She is flexible. Okay, that's actually amazing. What is the worst lie that you've caught someone in? Like in a relationship. Oh, cheating on me.

How did you find out? My friend was like, he's there too long. like with this girl. And I was like not so worried about it. I like girls. And it was like, you know, if you're like gonna kiss her together,

like that's like okay. Like, you know, like it's fine. And then I was like walk her, like get her to her Uber. Like don't be like you can't like kiss somebody and then like not be a gentleman. You know what I mean? That's not cute.

So he goes to take her to Uber. But then he's taken like a while, I guess. Hey, my friend, And Eva's like, she's like, do you think he's fucking her? And I'm like, what? And she's like, yeah, do you think he like went downstairs to like fuck her? And I'm like, he's just, no way. He's walking her over.

Don't be ridiculous. She's like, I don't know. I just think he is. And then he comes upstairs. And then she's like, were you fucking that girl? And so immediately I guess he couldn't tell me the truth. And then when I like went to the hotel room, I realized that, like, my clothing that I had given her because she wanted to go in the pool was on the floor.

And I was like, so she, so, so she came back to jeans. And he was like, well, she didn't want to take your stuff. And I was like, I mean, she could have had the bikini. Like, it's okay. And I was like, I was like, oh. So you saw her naked. And he was like, no. And then he like, after me, like, a dog with a bone.

He's like, oh, she gave me a hand job. I'm like, right. Right. And then the classic, it was just a hand job. Also, that's just like lame. Don't cheat on me and then be like she gave me a hand job. You had all hooked up, not fully. No, no, no.

No, no. She was not my type. Okay, okay. If we were to kiss a girl together. Yeah. Then that was okay. And we had done that in the past. She, he met her at my birthday. We at my birthday party.

And then DM'd her to come meet up with us. So she shows up. I'm like, who's this? He's like, oh, this is a girl I thought was. cute like I thought you would like her and I'm like baby she's not my type like she's not you know and then nothing happened between the three of you and then he brings her down and he gets a supposed just hand job hand job and then later on I'm like I don't believe it right like I don't believe it and then he's like finally like oh that he that she like gave him a blowjob and I'm like no I just

stop it and then after we broke off because then we went to like through therapy to like really work through this. I had to then go shoot a movie with this man right after. I literally had to shoot a movie like three days later. And you're like, and just now before we start the movie, just clarify, you fucked her. You're like, it went from the hand job to the blow job. You can now just tell me the truth. I would literally just tell me you put it in.

Like, tell me. That'd be a lot better. You're looking a little pussy right now. I'm actually the way. You just got a hand job. You couldn't give that to yourself. yeah like you're not that come on you needed to cheat on me with a

hand job Jesus Christ that men are so annoying when you're like you catch them and then they're like but it was just and then it was just and then slowly more and more and more and more and more comes out and you're like I actually would have respected you more if you just admitted it but now I'm on this long

train of lies with you that you don't even remember you're like what did it first start as he wouldn't even remember so then I had to go do a movie and he's like like, oh, like you need to trust me. Like give me, I'm going to give you my Instagram password. And like, I don't do that.

I don't do the checking the phones. I don't do the Instagram password stuff. I just think it's like if you got to go there, it's also like not good. Plus, you're always going to find some shit that you don't want to find. You find one friendly heart and you're like, this motherfucker. Right? You're like, this wasn't meant like that at all. Like, you know.

And so I don't think that that's like a good breach of trust. But he keeps, he keeps saying it. It's the way to prove to me. right so then finally I'm like you know what all right and it's 5 a.m. and I'm on my way to set I see these messages and they're all in a different language he thinks that I'm not going to like translate it but my assistant yes and the time is like so did you know Google translates can take photos now and I'm like no and like but then there's voice memos so I'm Google translating with the photos and it's

I'm not looking good in here, not looking good. But then there's voice memos and they're speaking very fast in another language. So I asked our server at the time. I'm like, can you translate this for me? No. Oh, Bella, he loves you. He thinks you're so beautiful. And he just keeps going on and on about how much this man loves me and thinks I'm amazing.

You're like, so sexy. And he wants to. And at some points, he does these weird faces. Like, I'm not going to translate this. So I can only imagine what he's saying at the time that this server does not want translate my fiance cheating on me and then I'm like

I'm like and then I do the full translation he thinks I'm an idiot I'm not going to read the other language so then we go through a lot of therapy like a lot of therapy after that because I'm like you know I've committed to this person and you know obviously I've done something wrong here

and which is just not true for anybody who's cheated on. It's not true. You haven't done anything wrong. You haven't. And I'm sorry. Ridiculous. The concerted effort to be like,

I'm going to get crafty. I'm going to cheat in a different language. Because maybe she'll just be so exhausted from this job. She won't have time to actually translate all of this. And meanwhile, you're like did, did it did it. Meanwhile, me, my assistant,

my hair and makeup artist, the girls and the server, right now are pointing out your cheating ass bitch, okay? You think I wouldn't, but I got the girl squad. Okay. And this very nice gay Italian man, like, and he will, he want to tell you, okay, sir. No, when you're trying to tell the Italian man, you're like, it gets worse. No.

It does get worse. No. Yeah. So after the therapy. It does get worse. Oh my God, from the hand job to here, keep going. So after the therapy and I just like, you know, at one point in, he said, said this thing about somebody else who was being treated on, and I saw it in his, it just like, it all clicked from me. And I was like, oh, you actually don't feel like bad or there's no, like, you actually think that this is like, okay. And my father cheated on my mom a lot growing up. And so I had a lot of like past kind of cheater drama. And then when I broke up with his ass, like, you know, he's like, well, because you were so honest, I wanted to write you this letter. And in the letter, really.

He just tells me that he was always cheating on me throughout our four years. And he, but don't worry, because he never slept with the same girl more than once. Don't worry. He never. Not with the same girl, not more than once. Babe, don't. He just slept with so many of them. But not more than once.

He didn't have emotional connection. Don't feel that. The way this man is so in love. He cares so much for you. He's like, baby, I, the way. The respect I have, I made you never to double dip. Exactly. And like, I respect you so much that I need to tell you this.

And that's the respect I have for our relationship. And then also, I left my St. Laurent leather jacket at your place. So if you could, please mail it to me. No, no, no, no, Bella. The way that this man was like, but, but it was just like, it was a one and done. Like, they convinced themselves. are like, it's not, no, it's not cheating because they have these stipulations

in their head. He convinced himself it wasn't cheating because we because we like to get with girls like together that we were like, you know, had like a three something. Like, you know, like, I was like, I wanted to be in the open relationship

you motherfucker and I said that at the opening of us dating and I was, you live somewhere else. I want to be in an open relationship because I need attention and I need someone there physically with me. was like, well, that's just not going to work. Like, I'll give you girls. I'll give you girls. Because girls, they mean nothing, right? They mean nothing. So you can get some attention from women, but you can't have any attention from men. And then meanwhile, you are, she's on a tear.

He's on a tear. Everyone you meet. Oh my God, that is so controlling. It's like he's getting to actually, that's the definition of having his cake and eating it too. And you're just sitting there. are like, all right, like, so we don't want an open relationship, even though we have this like mutual agreement that if we find someone that we're like down together, great, but if not, we're not able to do it without each other. He's like, woo. And you're literally like, huh? Bro. That whole time. The whole, the whole, the translating is so good. It's too much. No, that's like one of the all time great. Can we put it in a movie. No, no, no. That is like put bet in a script immediately.

Oh, wait, I already did two of them. You're like, I have lived this life, Alex. No, that's wild. It was really hard on that movie. I had to, there was a scene where we were making love. And in the scene, they put all these photographs of me up on the walls, like a gallery. And they were photographs that they had taken on me on that set during that time. And so I'm on the floor and he's on top of me.

just like surrounded by all these versions of me, just staring at myself and just like broke down and could not. After also after like the eighth fake of doing this again and again, this man is in my mouth. I hate him. I'm upset. My body like wants him and hates him at the same time. Like this is someone I love and yet someone I don't know at all. And I will never forget the feeling of like literally like eight bella is just looking at me like you want to go back to him is this what you're worth that's what you see for yourself like this is who you want to be like you know like are you okay with the way this man treats you and I'll never forget that feeling like honestly felt like a horror movie I was like is this the barbarian you're like what is this

no exactly yeah yeah No, no. I feel like you have had some private, I'm sure, like this, obviously. But then there's been a very big public experience that you went through where like you were essentially violated to some degree and you tried to take ownership and control of that situation back. In 2019, you made the decision to leak your own nudes because a hacker was essentially threatening that they were going to do this. And, you know, you made the decision to leak your own nudes. And, you know, can you just like tell the story of what the hell happened? Because I unfortunately think revenge porn is such a common experience for a lot of women.

And I would just like love to hear what your personal experience was with it. It started off with a text and like, oh, hi, kitty, something, something. And I was just like, resist. Ignore it, you know, I'm like a fan get my number. Like, what's, I don't. And then again, again, I was. and again and again, and then a photo of me that I had never posted. And I was like, oh, my brain just like chills.

And then he was like, you want more. And so he sent more. And then he like kept sending them until he got me in a conversation with him. And yeah, he kept going with it. I was doing my book tour at the time for the life of wannabe mogul. And I'm like, I wrote this book because I felt like I was so misunderstood. And I was so, I didn't know how to express myself, not only misunderstood, but I was not properly expressing myself.

And I felt that kind of one of my last like things that I had to do before kind of just giving up on myself was write this book. and then maybe people read it and they like they understand me a little bit more. So I write this book and while I'm fucking doing this press tour talking about molestation and like dark shit, this man is threatening me and won't stop threatening me. And I have to keep doing these interviews and I'll never forget. I'm with my manager, Thor, who I'm still with. And he, at that time, I like looked at him.

I showed him the messages, he read through all of them. And I was just like, I don't know what to do. Like, it just feels like this is what's happening again. Like, my power was taken from me then for so many years. And now he has this, he has this thing of me. And he's, he's taking it again. It's like it felt like being like re-raped. And, and that also feeling this, like, everything will end if this, if he does this. Everything will end for you. everything, all the shit that you've been through, everything you've done to get to this point, it's all going to be blown up and just it's gone if he does this. And having someone else have that power and that agency over your own body. And I love my manager at that time. And I think he saw me as a person and not as a client because I don't think anyone,

any agent or manager would have been like, yeah, all right, you want to. to do that because you think it'll make you feel better. Sure, release your own dudes. And he was like, honestly, Bella, yeah, like, what he's writing, he was, like, fucked up. And, like, with what you've been through, this is my, like, Thor accent. This is, like, this is your only way. Like, I don't, I don't have another way for you. Like, I don't have another, like, option. And I put him out, and that was horrible. How did you come up with that idea? to release them yourself. He's literally saying he's going to do this

and I don't keep sending him photos. And I'm like, now he wants me to start like sending stuff and like, and then now it wasn't even about money. He's like, also about money and photos. And like, I'm going to keep sending you these videos.

And then he starts sending me other people that I'm friends with, their nudes. Yeah. Oh my God. And he's like, you see how powerful I am, how many times I can do this to you over and over. And I was like, well, if, like, at the end of the day, if I'm going to lose my whole career and everything I've worked for being like 20 at that time and working since I was eight, I'm going to just like just say fuck it all.

And I'm never going to work again. And my life's over because this man's going to do this. So I'll just do it. Again, it's kind of, I guess if you think about it, it's kind of the way I approach life. You want to say she's so sexual, sexual. I'll be sexual. Like, you want to do this to me? You want to take this from me? So I'm going to take it instead, you know. It was your way, though, of actually reclaiming control. Yeah. Like you're talking about having horrific things happened to you when you were younger. You're like, I refuse to not be in

control of my body again. So let's do it. Yeah. So you release them online. And how did you preface it? I just did an honest Twitter post. Yeah. I just kind of. set it out as it is and you're not going to keep taking this from me. So here it is. And, you know, I think the worst part of that was people saying, you did this. You are faking it. You just want to show us your tits. You want us so badly to see your private parts that that's why you're doing it. You want it. and that to me like really broke me then that like really really broke me and there's definitely like a video of me where I'm like doing an Instagram story and I'm like completely like broken and so upset

understandably just mad and then I get like a call one day and it's the FBI and they're like hey, you know, we've seen this thing. We think it's our guy. And like, can we come over? Can we get all the data? Can we see what this is? And they came over to my house. So now I have like a house full of FBI, which is like the craziest thing. I keep looking around like, there's weed in this house. There's weed in here. And I keep reminding myself, it's California. It's legal. Do they know I have a weed brand? Do they know I own one? But it's still scary. You're like the FBI's here. Oh, God, there's Mary Joanna. It is legal, but still. I'm nervous. No, literally. And yeah, I gave them everything. Did work together for quite a bit.

And I think it took a year and a half a little over that. And they got him. And they knew it was him from the writing. So if I had not posted those screenshots, they wouldn't have caught him. Or maybe they would have called him later. But they wouldn't have had that direct source. And that's how they knew is because. of the screenshots because it's his exact writing.

They're like, this is his MO. It's the same guy. It has to be. And then he kept taking this thing because I love cats and I'm a big cat person. So he kept calling me kitty and like taking this thing from me that I love so much. And I've got these cat tattoos. And he would like keep poking the kitty thing and kitty and come here and Miss Kitty Kitty, and do this for me, Miss Kitty Kitty Kitty.

And that was another one of my like breaking. Like you're not going to fucking take something that I love and I rescued cats. and you know what? I'm going to like, fuck you. I'm just going to put this out. I'm going to put it out because I have no other choice. That's what I feel like right now. I'm not letting anybody do this to me again. That is so crazy that then the internet turned it into you are getting blackmailed and this hacker is coming for you and somehow you are getting slapsed. Shamed and blame. What do we tell women all the time in life? You were raped that night. Were you wearing a short skirt? So you wanted it. You had a drink that night. Okay. So you wanted it. It's always you want it.

That is like the inherent thing that we grow up with. It is it's everywhere. It's in every book. It's in fucking at this point, the only thing that doesn't have it is fucking mother nature. Literally the only thing that doesn't have it is the trees in the grass and shit. Okay. It's, it's everywhere.

It's embedded in every culture, everywhere you look. It's fucking, I'm sure it's embedded in these chairs. I'm sure when they made these chairs, they were like, well, we need to make something feminine,

but not too feminine, okay? And it needs to be soft enough, but it still needs to give a little bit like of a man by because she can't be too feminine if she's going to have work, right? Because she can't be both. Like, it's literally in everything. It's, it is horrific to know that somehow you were blamed for it. And yet, you're right, it's so expected. Of course. Of course. What did that experience, though, kind of teach you about the process of reporting crimes and like working to that capacity?

I, the grace and the bravery that it takes someone is is so incredible. Anyone who's ever had to write like a witness like victim, quote unquote statement is, I mean, I, I, I give it up to everyone who has come forward and everyone who hasn't. you know, both are incredibly brave in their own right. And that is the truth. Yeah. It's not easy at all. Either one, you're right. Because it's like half the time you're not believed. And then when they're trying to believe you, there's so many questions that you're like, is this even worth it? I don't want to relive this. For sure. Putting it into your like own words, having to speak it out loud in a room full of when I was writing this statement and they were explaining to me why it was important because of the sentencing. And for the sentencing and for

judge to really hear what this person has taken from you in your life. And you spend so much of your life trying to like concentrate on the things that didn't take from you. And now you have to sit here and like publicly like speak it out, speak out those words, what someone has has done, what they have taken, who you no longer are because of this person and their actions. And yeah, it's just, man, there are so many like, incredible. incredibly brave and courageous people. It's so inspiring to hear you from literally the young girl that I showed in that picture to then, you know, your working experience and essentially surviving that extremely difficult

environment to then getting out into the world after Disney, trying to find your identity, but also wanting to rebel a little bit and be like, I literally didn't have really a childhood. So like, I'm going to lean in. I'm going to have fun. I didn't even know about my bank account or I didn't have an ID. Like I deserve to have a little bit of me time, essentially, going through all the relationships that you went through, all the cheaters, all the people, all the artists, all the cardboard, to then finding your now fiancé, going through, you know, the online trauma of this experience.

Like, it feels like now you're in this place where you've grown so much as an individual. It seems like you're in this great relationship now. What do you think now sitting here are some of the biggest changes that you've noticed in yourself as a whole, like in reflecting back on even everything that we've talked about? I'm not as reactive. I'm definitely not as reactive. I have boundaries. Yeah. I created some of those.

It's crazy. You can create them. They're there. They may look invisible, but they're not. I think that's probably one of my biggest one. Yeah, is the boundaries, not having them before and having them now. And creating them for your own is such a, can be such a beautiful and joyous experience. It can also be like really sad.

And sometimes it's good to like hold space for the versions of yourself that didn't have that, you know. That's such a good point. It's like you can be proud of yourself now, but you can also have empathy for why it was so hard back then. it's like having almost like doing it for your younger self now like having those boundaries you can now be so proud of yourself like oh my god everything I went through and how horrific things I had to experience that I shouldn't have had to experience probably also shouldn't have even had to have boundaries at that age or in that moment right but now you can be proud of yourself for surviving all that yeah and having grown

to be so strong for what you went through and what you now demand for yourself. Yeah, and I think we put so much, like, women, again, you just can't do it, right? And, like, your body and all these other things is Jesus. And, like, everyone wants to take it from you all the time. and then you're ostracize for having boundaries or you're a bitch for speaking up for yourself, you're blaming yourself, which is what I've done for so much of that part of my life and being in situations that I didn't know how to get out of or I literally didn't know how to leave other than running out the door physically.

And I think over the years I've like really blamed that version. And at this time when you like kind of grow up and you're like, that wasn't right though. Like, yeah, holding that space for it's okay that you didn't know then. It's okay that you know now. And I think like when you're that young of a young girl going through like everyone always says it like the body keeps score, right? Like, yeah, you can do so much mental work to just try to keep your head above water and to keep working. Like, you're having to keep working through this trauma, right? You're having to keep working through people taking advantage of you and your body and all these moments.

And you shouldn't have had to do that, but you were in survival mode. And so I think it takes, it can take your whole life to just like slowly reclaim parts of your body, even like doing therapy for a decade. You can unlock parts and feel like you reclaimed parts. Like it's a never-ending process because that something that should always be yours, something that should never be taken advantage of or taken from you. And as an actor, you're taught the opposite. As an actor, like your body, like you learn how to disassociate from your own body because you're putting and disassociate from your brain to like almost create two parts of the brain. One part of the brain is experiencing this incredibly traumatic thing that I'm trying to act out as well as experience in real time. and then the other part is this protective part

and you can like, it's kind of like watching yourself from the outside in a way. Like think about the scenes where actors have to do and you're like, you're being raped on camera. You're doing these like really physical detrimental scenes to your psyche as well as your body. And so you have to disassociate. And then you're no longer acting.

But for some reason, you keep having to disassociate from your body, you know, throughout life. And so to reclaim it, as you said, like, piece by piece back is like a really, like, I used to love to show like my skin. And I still love to show skin, but I used to be like fucking like, you know, nipples or whatever. Like, yes. And then I realized that I never went through the time to be precious about them, to be precious about, you know, yourself, your own body. And I never went through that period.

And I feel like I've just recently been getting to be precious and to, yeah, to have that. I'm so it's really like cathartic to hear you say this because I think a lot of women are going to be sitting at home and crying with you because I think the amount of women who have unfortunately and should never have had to nor should you have ever had to been taken advantage of. It's like you're reliving it also in moments and microcosms in your life as much as you're healing work. We're hearing about obviously when this person is going to leak your nudes or someone makes a comment or someone's saying these. Every little thing in life can bring you back to that moment. And so it's this ongoing battle within yourself as a woman that you have to try to be so fucking strong and keep going to exhausting.

It's ridiculous. Ridiculous. Stop making us be so strong. No, literally. Let's be weak. No, literally. No, women are a strong woman. I want to be a weak woman.

You know what? How about that? Can I be a weak woman? Today, Friday would be good. Sunday is a good day to be weak. I'd love to be a weak woman on a Sunday. That's why I feel. This is ridiculous.

No, I know. That's why I feel for you right now. I like want to reach out and hug you because I'm like, it's so people who, especially men and who are just so naive to it. They think there can be an isolated incident. It's like this carries through. to so much of you, it doesn't define you, but like you are just having to work 10 times harder in moments to just survive. And so I just give you so much grace of just like, oh my God,

everything you've been through and then sitting here and even you being like, I have boundaries and I'm more patient now. Like that is what just happens with time. And it's horrific that you had to go through any of the things that we're talking about. But you're such a survivor in your own right. And it's really inspiring as a woman to like connect with you and talk with you about these themes that are unfortunately so universal. But you are also a testament to someone who has been able to be basically dragged through the mud, gone through these horrific things. And you're so intelligent and you're funny and you're wise and you're all these things.

And you deserve to have happiness. And so it's amazing to see that you're reclaiming that in a way that it's going to take a lot of time. And it's still going to be a lot of work. And a lot of therapy, a lot of, we're putting budget. But you're here. And the young girl who said I was maybe not going to be here if I didn't get out of that house at one point, you're still standing. And that's all on you. No one else is to thank or to give props to or it's you.

You did that. You did that yourself. Thank you, Alex. Of course. It was very sweet. I need to brag more about you, some of your accolades. You're a director. you did the incredible by you know you're still obviously an actress but you have transitioned into

a director which is such a feat in itself to be taken seriously to be talked about right in a way that people are going to show up for you and look at you and especially even just as a woman and so congratulations obviously you've been referencing your first project I know you have something big coming You are directing and starring in Spring Breakers 2. And writing. And I wrote it. Okay.

How did this opportunity come to base? The producers watched Cudder Your Hurt, which is the movie that I just wrapped in Early Cut of it. And they asked me to write something to see if they would like it. and they loved it. And now I'm writing and directing Spring Breakers too. No, no, no. That is.

Spring break forever, fish, let's go. That is like, first of all, you being in it, I'm already like, yes. You directing it, yes. You writing, yes. Like, that is incredible. Thank you. That's so incredible. Also, because the first Spring Breakers was directed by a man.

Uh-huh. How do you think the sequel will be different with, you know, some female energy? some female energy. Oh, the female energy is there, girl, for sure. 2012 was such, which is like when the movie came out, was such an exploitative time, and everyone was going through it. At that time, like, me and Miley and Zendaya and Selena and everybody being comparative, who was going to be that next bad girl and everything happening. It felt like that was the time, too. And in this time, things are different.

They are crazy. There's a lot of craziness. There's a lot of litmus. There's so much litmus in this movie. I just like, Bell-a-Thorn behind this. No, no, no. The, like, maniacal laugh. I'm like, Spring Breakers 2 and Bell-A-Thorn.

I'm like, oh, my God. Is there anything you can, like, tease or anything you want to just kind of set the groundwork so people have a little something to chew on. We're working with the original team is back, so we're really excited about that. I don't want to get in trouble. I know. I don't want to get in trouble. But what I can say is it is so Liddy, Liddy McTitties.

I mean, from start to finish, it's lit as fuck. We are having fun. If you wanted to go to the theater and have fun, you go have fun with this movie, that's for sure. Yeah, it's balls to the wall. That's like the most, that's what everyone says when they read the script. Walls to the wall.

Can you say if there's, is there anyone from the original in it or no? Okay, we're not going to say anything. We will be sat. We will be ready. We are so fucking ready, Bella. Before you go. Also, also, I went. What?

When Spring Breakers came out, I begged my manager to let me go to the premiere because he had worked on the first one. So when Spring Breakers came out, I was at that premiere. Oh, that's really full circle. So you can do the age math as well. I was there and I begged. I begged. That's why I love my manager. And now I'm here.

And now you're here. You went to the premiere as a fan. And the after party. and now you're writing directing and starring that's kind of just like that that feels right that feels right for the girls right yep you can do anything oh my god that was such like a cultural like moment in time and just like crazy everyone just like yeah becoming a woman and like questioning being a woman and like what that's going to look like for the rest of your life and you know then you have these girls doing these things in this movie and it was just like on the big screen it was big screen it was big

screen that movie. That was a big screen movie. It was. Yeah. And this will be too. Yeah. And you're in front and behind it. Yes. Yeah. Power to you. That's actually fucking incredible. Seriously. Congrats. Thank you. Um, okay. Bella, of everything you've accomplished, what are you hoping for this new era for yourself? Like, what can we expect? I know obviously we've got the projects, but like, what else? What can we expect? A happier, Bella? hopefully I feel I feel happier so far getting to do something that I love like directing and getting to concentrate on production and getting further into all sides of of the art in that way instead of just I love acting and I love I love finding projects that I want to act in like

that's really important and yeah I hope I get to really like enjoy continuing on this journey. Yeah, yeah. Deserve it. Thank you. I could talk to you forever. That was such an incredible conversation. I feel like we went in so many different directions and thank you so much for going there with me. I love talking to smart, interesting women and I knew we would have such a connection and a great conversation, but I couldn't have imagined the amount of themes. I feel like so many women are going to be like, oh my God, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for opening up because we wouldn't have had this conversation and the depth

that you brought was really inspiring. So thank you for coming on. Call her Daddy Queen. Thank you for having me. To all the people and the women and everybody that hears themselves and sees themselves in this episode. I love you and you're beautiful.