Call Her Daddy - Courtney Stodden

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

This week, Father Cooper sits down with Courtney Stodden. Courtney broke national headlines back in 2011 when at 16 years old they married 51 year old Doug Hutchison. At the time, Courtney received endless online hate and negative media coverage. Courtney, a child, received death threats, was stalked by the paparazzi, sexualized, and labeled a whore. Courtney is now 27 years old, has gotten into therapy, and started their recovery journey. This is a story of child abuse that began 10 years ago and after finalizing their divorce in 2020, Courtney is now beginning to process what it means to be a survivor. This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of sexual abuse of a child, and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised. If you have been affected by sexual violence, free, confidential support is available 24/7 through RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656-4673 and online.rainn.org.

what's up daddy gang it is your founding father back at it again for another episode of call her daddy before i start this episode i need to preface this with a trigger warning this interview contains references to abuse of a minor again this is a trigger warning and listener discretion is advised. If this episode is not for you, I love you and I will see you next week. Okay, Daddy Gang. If you are familiar with today's guest, you probably know them from the headline the media used to define them in 2011. Courtney Stodden, a 16-year-old child bride, marries a man in his 50s. I was also 16 when this story was on the front cover of every fucking tabloid.

This man was hired by Courtney's mom to be Courtney's acting coach. It turned predatory. Courtney's parents knew and let it continue. And I remember when Courtney Stodden was signed away by their parents and granted permission to marry this dude in his 50s. At the time, Courtney received endless online hate and negative media coverage. Again, Courtney, a child, received death threats, was stalked by the paparazzi, sexualized, labeled a whore. This was a 16-year-old. Meanwhile, if you look back at all the media coverage, it's like

they forgot about the adult in the situation. The 50-year-old fucking creep Courtney married, Doug Hutchison, this washed up actor, would have been a pedophile if he had pursued a relationship with 16-year-old Courtney. But instead, Courtney's parents willingly welcomed Doug into their family and legally permitted the marriage. After suffering abuse at the hands of countless adults and reality TV shows, being exploited, Courtney is now 27, gotten into therapy, and started a recovery journey. Listen, I had not kept up with Courtney Stodden. And sitting down with Courtney, I realized the reality of how layered their story is and how deeply the media betrayed that 16-year-old child. This is a story of child abuse that began 10 years ago. And after finalizing their divorce in 2020, Courtney is now beginning to process what it means to be a survivor. what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy

i will probably take five minutes to get comfortable. So, sorry. I think it's just this large thing in front of my face. It's giving me a little PTSD, maybe. So, I just want to, like, push it back. They all look the same to me at this point, honestly. Okay, let's drink our water. Would you prefer we were drinking vodka? Actually, yeah. We could maybe get some drinks in here in a little bit

i am down okay i mean what do you like your show i'm down to drink what kind of alcohol do you like um i'll just do whatever you have we have vodka or tequila right um i think vodka probably i'll take tequila i like that it's like welcome to caller daddy it's noon on a wednesday and we are popping the bottles open we we were out like getting some like you know like a diva day and the entire place turned into a bar and like how long in seconds yeah are we recording okay yeah maybe this will be the intro of us just summoning our drinks we're like get me some fucking alcohol because it's about to get i think we're gonna need it for this i do too honestly i do too yeah 45 minutes later

courtney and i have taken 12 shots we've fixed our flyaways we've eaten the mic and i think we're ready for therapy i think we're ready for therapy cheers cheers it's just so fucking amazing to meet you. We are the same age. And I remember seeing your story when I was like 15, 16. I remember watching it kind of unfolding in the news. And since then, so much has happened in your life. And I really appreciate you sitting down with me. You live in LA? Yeah, I live in Brentwood area. Love that area. Yeah.

How long have you lived there? I've lived there probably for like a year and a half now. And Kamala Harris is my neighbor. So it was just really shocking because I am in the middle of studying for my license. Finally, at 20 freaking seven years old like finally you know passed my permit like trying to get my license and I'm like trying to drive home and there is like so much traffic on this little street couldn't figure it out and then I like I went too fast and one of these guys was like he was like I don't know like a security guard he goes you you just slow down you know Kamala Harris is is getting to try and go home and i'm just like what the heck wow that's status right there that's also la like how fucking just casual that you're just

like neighbors with kamala you're like what's up so crazy have you ever seen her um i've tried like since then i've kind of like been this like i've been driving really slow with my permit you know like looking over at her house like literally two miles an hour just like so creepy right I know but there's like security in front so I think they're starting to kind of look at me like why is this bitch so far down but it's just yeah it's amazing I mean I it was the first time I ever voted um in my adult life and I voted for Kamala. That's such a cool moment. Our president.

It comes full circle. Now you're just casually neighbors. You must live in a nice neighborhood, Courtney. You're like, no comment. Absolutely. Did you always have aspirations to move to LA? When you were a little girl, did you want to be famous? What did you want to be?

I've always loved music. I always wanted to pursue that at a really, really young age. And my mom, she was always very supportive of it. I think that she found a lot of entertainment in supporting her daughter as well. And so her and I just kind of like became this almost like a momager to me. And then, you know, was that mindset of helping her daughter. When and why did your parents decide to homeschool you? My father wasn't involved in that situation.

He wasn't contributing at all to the decision to pull me out, nor did he really know that I was being completely abused and bullied at school. In sixth grade, I was pulled out because I was bullied. I mean, I got a lot of, like, my old friends bullying me, and, you know, my arm was broken at one point. And I just was that kid that was really popular before I hit puberty. And then when I hit puberty, I was treated so differently. And as a child, like you really don't understand why you're being treated differently. Assault emails that I was getting from, you know, the future middle school and stuff, you know, they're going to knock my teeth down my face and, you know, they're going to, you know, just, it's just going to be a really horrible experience for me. So my

mom pulled me out because of that. Yeah. At that time, your dad was not in your life. You know, I think in looking back at it, I feel like my father completely left me emotionally abandoned. And I don't know if he's that type of man to be able to properly, emotionally be there for their child. It just doesn't seem that way because history wouldn't have been the way it is for me, like my life, right um it all kind of falls back to that relationship so many young women go through that and then it directly affects their romantic relationships absolutely we will be getting to you got married to a man in his 50s when you were 16 his name is Doug Hutchison how did you meet Doug meet Doug? Courtney's grabbing for the vodka. We're like,

hold on, let's take a sip of our drink. Here we go. Let's get into Doug. How did you meet Doug? Doug and I met through a mutual friend. So the mutual friend manager introduced my family to Doug because Doug was teaching acting classes here in LA and I always kind of expressed you know interest also in singing but in acting and um that's how we connected uh was through email email yeah so you got connected with him on email and how what were the initial conversations you were having with him via email I think I just need a little break for a second yeah yeah sorry no take your time what's coming up for you right now

I'm still healing from this it's it's very um it's very very very fresh for me um I wore waterproof mascara specifically. I never wear waterproof. You're fine. But we met through a mutual friend. We started connecting through email. And my mom and this, you know, our mutual friend, his name's Tim Wilson. He didn't know about the exchanges that Doug was having with me. My mom did. She was aware. She was like over my shoulder the entire time practically or having me print out the emails

and she was reading them. And, you know, nothing was sexual, but it was definitely not about what it was supposed to be about, which was about teaching me acting and, you know, all of that stuff that, you know, professionally you're supposed to be doing. And then as a child, I didn't really see it as anything predatory. I mean, I don't think children have that capacity to really see that, especially if they're, they, they, they don't feel like they have a proper relationship with their father. You know, there were just questions like, you know, what's your favorite color? And, you know, what, where do you see yourself in five years? And, you know, let's play 10 questions and, and then we're going to get to know each other that way first you know after that then I can kind of help teach you you know where I think you'd fall good in acting and just all of this bs now I know in retrospect right it's just a way to to to start figuring out the child and to get your claws in them and you know control them did he know what you looked like because you were

only communicating on email did he know your age and did he know what you looked he knew what I looked like um my manager at the time sent him pictures and he was very much aware of what I looked like but he claims that you know he's never known my age he never knew my age it's not true he did because my mom received a call from him and he said you know so I really want to start teaching your daughter acting and she goes okay well you know she's only um you know she just turned 16 and he knew my age absolutely he did did you know how old he was I did yeah yeah so you're saying that your mom was like printing out the emails and looking over them with you do you remember your mom ever saying anything to be careful of or was it was she condoning this during the time too

my mom has always been a very protective mother I mean just just going back and kind of trying to shine a little light on my backstory a little bit my my mom has gotten a lot of hate and I understand why I mean if you know if I ever have a baby and I'm raising that baby. From my own experiences, I would never sign my kid off ever to an adult man, you know, 34 years old. Like there's just no way that would happen. But I think that she thought she was doing something that was going to make me happy, truthfully. I really believe that.

But in retrospect, she knows it was the wrong decision. She's even, she's apologized to me so many times and has said, you know, if I could just do anything to do over, I would, I'm just so sorry I wouldn't sign off on this. How long were the two of you speaking online before you met in person? We spoke online and on the phone for six months. And then I met him in person. He came to my hometown. And what were the expectations of him coming? Like, what was the purpose of that trip?

I believe it was obviously to see his child in person, verify the parents are on board. I'm not going to go to jail and I can get that free pass to molest a child. I just need that paperwork signed for me to get married because it's a loophole. Right. And then a week later we got married. So I basically just met him in person one week and then a week later I'm married. But just to get context, so you had fully had a conversation of this as a relationship before you met in person. Like that was now in the works fully and your mom was aware of it. I was already groomed before I met him. Yeah.

He comes into town. What was that like with him meeting your parents and everything? Like, do you remember that week? I do, but there was a specific moment that really stands out to me. After picking him up from the airport, my father was driving. My mom was there, felt like I had support. My dad just said he needed to meet him in person, and then he could just sign off on it,

which, in retrospect, makes me extremely angry he was in his very own um fragile state of mind at that point in the marriage with my mother my mother was in a very bad place with my father so this was like a perfect like you know grooming situation for someone right um like Doug. I remember being, you know, picking Doug up from SeaTac, driving about an hour and a half to a cafe. And I thought maybe at least it would take the entire weekend for my father to then talk to me and say, you know, I don't know if you, you know, I feel like I really did want to marry Doug because I thought I was in love with him. But there was also something in me as a child that made me question if my father really loved me. So it was like this, you know, dichotomy. And so when we got to that diner, we had a little lunch. My dad immediately, before they ate their lunch,

took Doug outside and said, you know what, you have my blessing. He didn't even see him for maybe an hour. They didn't talk. My dad was driving. Doug was in the back seat. And he gave Doug the blessing to take his child away from him. You know, even if he did feel like, you know, his family was falling apart and all these things, like I feel like he did choose himself. Did your dad ever pull you aside and ask how you were feeling? He did before we met Doug,

but it was just like five minutes in my bedroom, kind of took my hands as it is. Is this what you want? I know he was arguing with my mom. I could hear them screaming, you know, throughout the house. And he just, but I just think he gives up so quickly. That's just the kind of person he is. He just kind of like runs away from issues.

And he's, so I mean, you know know it just makes sense why this happened right and it happens to so many other children in the usa 2000 and 2018 and 86 percent of those children are girls and it's in this country we think of child bride as some foreign situation but it is so probably it's so prevalent in the usa yeah right now and it's terrifying and some as young as 10 years old. Did Doug treat you like an adult or did he treat you like a child? I think that it's pretty obvious that he looked at me like a child but wanted to treat me like some kind of object. How did he pitch you on getting married? couldn't you guys just date I grew up in a really um Christian family and I was a virgin when I met Doug and you know because of my mom's own

again I mean I'm going through this in therapy so I'm not yet healed from all of this, but, you know, she believed that this guy would really take care of me and really love me, and she was also in a position to feel like she could believe him. I mean, she really did. You know, I'm just going to say it. When I went through this divorce process with Doug, I found out that right after I left him, he started pursuing a 15-year-old girl in the UK. And I have all of the proof. I have all of the proof. I have all of the emails.

I got connected with an ex-assault victim, and he was doing the same thing to another 15-year-old girl while I was going through this process um is there a tissue I'm I'm still working through all of this so you're going through the divorce and you find out he's already on to his next victim yes I found out through, uh, a step, a stepmother who reached out to me on Instagram, and, um, I just, I can't tell you how, how much that broke me, like, even after all of, like, the control. I feel like I didn't even have control over my own body my own finances I couldn't sign any legal documents in that marriage I couldn't

um you know sign off on my own marriage like I was just so controlled but then I think that there's this trauma bond that happens when you're that age, like, right, you have like this, I don't want to say I had Stockholm syndrome, because I, but it, there's this grooming, it's the effects and the mental effects of grooming, where I didn't want to believe, you know, right, I mean, few people reach out, I just didn't want to believe it, I just, you know, it's not what, how he made me feel. He made me feel really, really special and unique. I just really believed him. And then just finding out everything, it's just, it's just, you know, horrible. And then reading that, you know, that he's, he's doing, he's ready to marry another minor. I just helped with the attorneys there get this little girl away from him.

Wow. It just became my mission because I know exactly what he was doing. I saw the emails. They were the same emails to me, and they were the same letters, because in 96, same letters he was writing in his handwriting to this other 15-year-old girl. It just clicked that I was with a predator. And I never, I never, I was just so groomed, I never wanted to believe it.

Legally, how were you able to marry Doug? I was able to marry Doug because my mom signed off on the paperwork did your parents prior to that or any adult have a conversation with you of like this is what's going to change in your life if you marry this man did anybody have that conversation with me yeah like. Like, Hey, if you get, you're about to get married at 16, like this is what's going to happen. No, no. I mean, I really didn't even know what was going to happen on the honeymoon. I had no idea really. Your wedding day, you're walking down that aisle. What do you remember feeling on that day? I was beyond nervous because I just wanted to play the part for him. Like I wanted him to be impressed with me. Like I was a woman. I mean, I was a kid. So I feel like I was playing dress up in a sense, but I was so madly

in love with him that I just like, I don't know, it was just this really strange feeling that I always carried with me. And I mean, the photo of my father walking me down the aisle is really interesting to me because he has this look on his face I mean you can google like it's he has this look on his face where he's just so angry but he's still doing it which which was really you know it's just I don't know how does it make you feel when you look at that photo angry yeah I definitely know like the more awareness and therapy and the more I come to terms and like go through all of these things I'm seeing things so much more clearly it's so hard to see something so clearly when you're the one who is in you know that spotlight and you get so

much you know support but hate and like all of that like it's so hard to just make sure that you're listening to a healthy amount of it all I believe but like I just got to a place where I was just listening to so much negativity because that's that's really I mean I really didn't have that much self-worth. Did you ever ask your dad, seeing that photo, like, why did you then walk me down the aisle? Nope. My father has completely disowned me. He texted me and said, you are not my daughter.

This was about three years ago. So I don't have a relationship with that man. What triggered him disowning you? My marriage to Doug, because I was obviously old enough to make that decision. My mother not wanting to be with my father because of my decision, she wanted to go with me, and that broke up their marriage. He obviously hits the bottle pretty hard. I think he runs away from a lot of

things. He's kind of always been like that, but he's, I really believe too, like underneath it all, he is a really scarred, amazing, gentle man. He just doesn't know how to deal with any of this properly. I mean, even mean even you know even serial killer parents like never disown their their kids right what did I do you mentioned that you were a virgin when you met Doug and you mentioned that you had no idea what the honeymoon was going to entail right what do you recall about that night and losing your virginity and the whole experience I mean for that whole experience for me was so like insane I mean coming from a release like I I grew up where Kurt Cobain grew up and it is like the most depressing freaking town like nobody does anything like you know like it's and so from that to being pulled a week later into this I mean I just I

just shut down I disassociated myself I tried the best I could to put on that that role you know because that's what grooming is really I you know came from a really small town and then immediately like right up in the Hollywood Hills and you know the honeymoon's going to be scheduled at the Chateau Marmont penthouse and I remember running into the bathroom shutting the door and just looking in the mirror and crying for I don't know how long I was just crying and I know I I was feeling stuff that I wasn't necessarily letting myself process or I wasn't old enough to process or something I don't know I take my bra off I was wearing those bombshell Victoria's Secret bras do you remember that It was like two big cup sizes.

And then inside of that, I had a cutlet. So they were like, and I was so freaked out to undress because I'm like, he's just, he's not going to love me like this. Like I look like a kid. Like I looked like a 12- old with my clothes off little did I know it was a fantastic night for him but I was a complete nervous wreck so you were petrified to get undressed petrified yeah once you did did you ever loosen up or did you feel uncomfortable the whole time like how did he handle calming you well he gave me a little wine before when I went into the bathroom so I had a little wine at 16 before you have sex for the first time just a little yeah were you

was that the first time you had a drink um i had a corona the day i arrived to doug's house with my family um before we got married before we all jetted off to vegas the next day i remember i opened his fridge and i'm like i'm fucking emancipated i'm having a corona so it was like my first corona ever so So I started drinking when this, yeah. So at 16, starting to drink, being married, you go to this honeymoon. Afterwards, what was early marriage life like for the two of you? I just remember waking up the morning after at the Chateau Marmont and I'd be you know I was growing up in such a religious household and I remember looking down at the sheets the white sheets and I was just

I was praying to God I was like please and if for some reason I kind of felt like the one that wasn't good enough all the time like you know I'm like please I pray to God that there's some cherry on there because if there's no freaking cherry like I'm not I am not gonna be good enough for this man so you want like literally how sick is that like I mean I'm not putting down anybody's beliefs but like for me I just look back at it and I just feel like it's so sick. And I saw it and I was like, I felt like, okay, so this is ordained by God. Like this is an ordained situation. How was he towards you after that first night together? I have never seen him so on top of the moon. I mean, I woke up and he had his little like hat on he was playing

the piano like you know he he just was I mean he just got to molest a child legally with a 34 year difference between you and Doug, back then, what was presented to you that you guys had in common? He would, you know what, he would always answer this question. So whenever we would do like, you know, our media rounds or he would do an interview or I would do an interview, I would always kind of fall back on what he would tell everybody. Like my dad. I'm like, oh, yeah. OK, so that's that's how I answer this media question what do you have in common we love I love Lucy you know we love the Honeymooners we love you know um you know ACDC and you know Jack White

and all these like bands that we really love and it's just so crazy how much we have in common so it that was like the how he would connect it for people to be like you know what i'm i'm like a back door of life she's like front door like we meet somewhere yeah with tv shows and music yeah what were like dinners like between the two of you drinking all the time drinking drinking drinking and he condoned it if anything he pushed it on you i mean you said the first night he never told me no did you have to have sex with him like on his schedule i still have scars on me. Physical scarring. So, yeah. when did you start to realize

this may not be what I want to do forever with this man I was way too young to be crying on the kitchen floor every freaking night with a bottle of wine and opening another one. I felt like I didn't have at that point in time, like 17 years old, I didn't feel like I had anybody in my corner. I felt like, you know, because I was being told to commit suicide at 16. I mean, every moment I would turn around, there'd be another hit piece, you know, in the grocery store or somewhere else, you know, um, people talking about how I'm dressing or behaving and little did they know then that that is a part really did a doozy on my, my self-worth, really. When did you realize he had a drinking problem?

Gradually. Because when we, when he first was reaching out to me, you know, he was claiming that he was getting sober and he wanted to be sober and he was cleaning up his life and things like that. And I believed him. I didn't know anything really about it anyway. I mean, I know my dad drank a little bit, but I wasn't really that close with him so it wasn't some like alarming thing but it became an issue probably two months into our relationship when I started noticing like Jekyll and Hyde okay you know like what was it like living as a child with an alcoholic adult in a house together which time with my dad or dog okay um there there's so many to count I mean it was almost every night I mean for years and were you scared in the house yeah

there was a gun I mean I I yeah I mean you know did he ever when he was drunk take it out I don't want to legally talk about that right now. Yeah. Was Doug physically and verbally abusive? He was extremely emotionally abusive to me. At times physical, but mostly emotionally and abusive because I think that that's the ultimate power a groomer has over a child is that emotional um abuse and control yeah were you always playing the part and then behind the scenes kind of trying to figure out at one point an escape plan? We separated a couple times, but every time we separated,

I just felt like I couldn't live without him. I mean, I was raped a few times when I left him, and I go back to him, and he's just kind of like, well, what do you expect? You left me. I'm the one who loves you. I'm the one who takes care of you. And so that's why it took so long. I know the media is always wondering, like, why did it take so long? That's what was happening is this abuse, this emotional abuse.

And I think too, like so many victims and survivors blame ourselves. We blame ourselves we blame ourselves because we think it's our fault but the full picture is the the abuser is the one who is controlling that it's not your fault at all and i wish i could have told myself these things in those moments yeah oh this is a deep one girl you're doing amazing seriously i feel like i'm on oprah right now you did bring up during the me too movement those sexual assaults can you explain what happened just more more adult men exploiting um either a minor or a very um young teenage girl at that point in time when you when this happened to you because you explained you were on a break with Doug like your initial reaction was to run back to him which if people aren't educated they'd be like what the fuck that makes so much sense i got that a lot you know when i chose to go back with him the first time i mean

even some celebrity friends were like what the fuck are you doing like why in the hell are you doing that and it's so hard to explain this to somebody who hasn't been through it. Now knowing, like what are some tangible red flags to look for that indicate grooming? I feel like you can Google a sociopath and get the exact same definition. Charming, intelligent um an empath someone who can disarm you disarm your family and that's the scary part it's like you don't how can you always you know spot that the public hate you were getting not only just from like random people like celebrities you got Courtney Love called you publicly a whore Anderson Cooper shamed you on national television and Chrissy Teigen took it to a new level. She publicly wished you dead. And at the time, it seemed like no one gave a fuck.

No one saw anything wrong with it. Some of her tweets, I hate you. Go to sleep forever. What drugs make you do that with your mouth? Asking for vodka. Asking for a friend who really wants to know how to look like an idiot thanks to confirm have had you ever met Chrissy Teigen not have I only not met her but I've never spoken to her in my life like and I actually really liked her like I followed her I mean obviously I love

John Legend like I love I just was like I was following them and then I started seeing this on my timeline and I was like but I love you I just had this feeling but I really like you but like other than that at that point in time because I was so young I don't. I just had this feeling, but I really like you. But like other than that, at that point in time, because I was so young, I don't think I processed how deeply that led to my future depression. I mean, you're literally getting publicly shamed. But at that point in time, as a kid, I was just like, I was just like, oh, she's she's sexualizing toddlers and tiaras like, oh, big deal. Because I was a kid I was just like I was just like oh she's she's sexualizing toddlers and tiaras like oh big deal because I was a kid right I mean she was shaming Lindsay Lohan she was struggling with

a lot of you know her own stuff and I just I just freaking love Lindsay like you know I think Chrissy was in a really she had to have been in a really dark ass place to tell these children and women, you know, these things to, I don't know, make herself feel better about herself. I know now, you know, she's saying she's doing the best she can and I really hope that she means it. You know, if that stuff continues, we're just just gonna see more suicides unfortunately it's not gonna help she those were public tweets did she she privately messaged you right she privately messaged me a lot it was like sometimes it was like really late like two in the morning like you know and I don't know what it was it wasn't just like one or two tweets you know like Courtney love you know just call me a whore big deal love you too but Chrissy it was like it was over wasn't it over

like two years of harassment it was a really long time what was she privately messaging you she privately messaged me I specifically remembered this one because I was I was just like so shocked right um it was really early in the morning at some point. This was a really, I mean, this was a freaking decade ago. I know a lot of people can change in that time frame, but I didn't hear from her when she apologized. I was blocked from everything. She messaged me, I cannot wait for you to die.

And that was just one of them that I remember and then publicly she was saying you know dirt nap or something you know I can't wait for you to take a dirt nap and she was just obsessed with seeing me die if you could say something to Chrissy Teigen right now like what would you say to her if you saw her I I really don't have anything to say to her I don't need to speak to Regina George it's not something I need I don't need that I'm Lindsay like I will push you in front of a bush no No, I think that's very mature of you. So you were on multiple reality shows. How did you make the decision to enter reality television?

I didn't. My pedophile husband is the one who decided to sign me up for things because, you know, he needed the money. You know, another misconception is people thought I was a gold digger. I married him for money. I'm the one who was taking care of him. That's why I entered reality TV because I felt like I had to. I mean, he controlled the bank account. I didn't even know how to write a check. So whenever I was sent into something, it felt almost like a conservatorship, right? In a way. Um, but yeah, I, I was the one making the money and that's why I would do the shows. I mean, I would get so sick before the shows. I know on mother daughter I was so underweight I felt so anorexic before that I

mean I went on the show I was throwing up right when I got there I was throwing up nothing I didn't have anything to eat in a few days I wasn't eating on set you know I I just I got to a point where I was so freaking sick and I was sent to the hospital on the show because of it because I just, I got to a point where I was so freaking sick and I was sent to the hospital on the show because of it. Cause I just, I was going to faint. Like I was so sick, but really Doug cared about me finishing it out and getting the money and then returning it to him. So you would get the money and then he would take care of the finances. Do you think that the amount of hate you were getting even bonded you more with Doug? Because it's like. Absolutely.

We felt like Bonnie and Clyde. I mean, that's what he would tell me. Yeah. You know, he was like, you know, we're Bonnie and Clyde, baby. That's it. That's it. It's you and I. And there were things that would bond us together.

Right. and there were things that would bond us together right that only we would know and abusive tactics that he would you know put into play throughout the 10 years of can you give an example was there anything he would say it got to a point where he would have to convince me just just to do it it. Like, he would be pushing me, like, literally, like, pushing, like, the conservator. You have to go collect this money. You know, you are the, um, what did he call me? Something all the time. He called me the golden goose. You're the golden goose. You got, you know, we're gonna, you gotta to pay the rent. You know, that's that's that's what it is. And then he would guilt trip me if I didn't want to do it or if I said I was too sick or I'm not mentally I can't you know, I need a break. You were on Celebrity Big Brother when you were 18. This was the first time you were really apart from Doug yeah can you take

us through what it was like moving into that house and what that experience was like when we got to London I remember being on a hotel room in the room I'm just I have this trauma right now that I'm just even thinking about this but but he, he was standing there, Doug was standing there, and I, I was holding onto his legs, and I was just crying my eyes out because I knew the producers were going to come pick me up, I couldn't, this was the first time I was ever, like, truly away from him, I, I, I couldn't breathe, like, being away from this man, that's how groomed I was. I didn't know how the hell I was going to get away from him and be away from him for a few weeks or a month or whatever. And I was so distraught and I was so depressed. But then by the time I got on the show and by the time I, you know, became friends with Dustin Diamond like he he was the one who was in there that kind of made me realize some things in my relationship with Doug and by the time I ended the show I knew I I didn't want to be with him anymore I knew there was something not up

right like that that that wasn't right and by the time we got back to the U.S. I told them I wanted a separation and that's a pretty big moment to realize what was helping you process that space I mean really space um you know it it kind of felt like college for me or something like I went I went away to college and I and it just made me realize I don't I don't need him controlling me outside of this like I don't I don't need that but at that point in time it felt completely impossible to get away from your experience on celebrity big brother was the first moment you started to see like what life would be like without doug then a few years later

you wind up on another reality show that focuses on your relationship with your mom the mom and daughter experiment when you went on the show what was the status of your relationship with your mother at that point i hadn't spoken with my mom for two years. It was such a really hard situation because Doug was isolating me from my entire family at that point in time. So I blamed her for a lot. And I was just in this really confused mindset. So the producers kept my mother off of the first night off of the property. Everybody else could be on the property, you know, Heidi Montag's mom and, you know, Natalie Nunn's mom and, you know, real housewife, you know, they could all be there, but my mom couldn't be there because they knew of what a

fragile situation it was. And then the next episode, they introduced her, and it was just so, it, it was so difficult for me to finish this, the, to finish. I was completely underweight. I was so sick. I was taking too many things, you know, because my mom would be telling me one thing and then Doug would be telling me another. And then the whole world and celebrities and strangers and friends would be telling me other things. So I just completely disassociated myself from myself and it made me really, really sick. So I'm surprised I got through that entire reality show to tell you the truth. On the show, we find out that your mom was having an emotional affair with Doug,

your husband at the time, and that Doug had sexual fantasies involving... Here we go with this vodka again. This is a heavy one. We find out that Doug had sexual fantasies involving the three of you what was your mom's relationship with doug i'm still working on that therapy okay and do you know when you when those things were said on the show yes are they true um when i met doug he would go up and kiss a friend of mine on the lips like immediately what it wasn't anything that was like you know oh come here baby like you know anything like that but he was very charming oh how are you and he's oh

it's nice you know and i've had so many people tell me that it just made them feel so uncomfortable they felt assaulted right but in his head i would talk to him about it and in his head it's like what do you mean i'm just greeting them i'm greeting greeting them. Oh yeah. I'm sexually. Oh, you know. Oh yeah. Right. Um, but it, it felt like that for a lot of women and he did the same thing to my mother. Did Doug talk about your mom in sexual ways? Never. I, I personally never, never, never heard that. So when you were addressing your mom on the show saying, you know, I know you're having an emotional affair with Doug, where did you hear that information from Doug?

Again, my mom has had her fall in love with my husband through me. So it was like this, you know, I don't know. I mean, she even told me, you know, you and I are like Siamese twins. Whatever you feel, I feel. And so I was a kid and she was going along with her kid with this situation. Right. I'm still healing from this. Do you know if they ever had a sexual relationship?

You know what? I would never know. You know, usually I would say, absolutely not. You know, that's crazy. But my life has been, I mean, when I go to sleep, my dreams are so normal. And then when I wake up, my life is so freaking insane. So I just like to sleep most of the day. I got up early for this, okay?

I'd be sleeping. I appreciate that. Okay, so you, does it, does it haunt you a little bit that you don't have that answer I'm haunted by a lot of shit um it's not on the top of my agenda right now because I have so many other things that like I'm I'm I'm dealing with and going through and trying to make sense of um I definitely think eventually it's obviously I mean I'll get to it what impacted reality tv have on your body image um I don't know if it was necessarily reality tv I think it was mostly the media when I shot into like this cannonball like just like I was everywhere overnight. I,

you know, when you're a teenager, you see yourself a certain way in your mirror, right? And you're listening to fucking Trey songs or whatever you're listening to. You're just like, yeah, damn good. And then, you know, you see yourself every angle in the media and it completely shattered me. So I had my breasts done right when I turned 18 like that was something that I needed to do for myself because everybody already thought that I had these big boobs and you know I was already bullied for them and you know you know, went on Dr. Drew. Can we talk about that? Because I watched that clip. I don't know how that just got past everyone.

To anyone that's not watched it, you're 16 years old. You go on Dr. Drew's show and quite literally my mouth dropped when I watched it this morning of you on a table in front of a live audience and they're basically doing like an ultrasound on your boobs to see if they're real because people didn't believe they

were real at the time at like 16 right who made yes who made that decision for you to go on the show um Doug did and how would he present those ideas to you money at that point in time, I completely was like, oh, okay, I guess this is, you know, what I need to do. I mean, that was the thought of a child, I feel like was, you know, it's kind of like, that's, that's what he wants me to do. And I was so far in deep already that I just, I just kind of like, became that persona. When you talk about getting your breasts done at 18, what was the decision to get them done? I wanted to be the woman everybody expected me to be, you know, from strangers and the media and everything else. I just felt like I I needed to put that persona on. Yeah. Right. And Doug kind of benefited from that as well. Like, you know, oh, look at me. I'm not

just with a kid. You know, she doesn't look like a kid. And so many people fell for that. I am so ready to get them out. I mean, like, I have so many massages every week. I am in so much pain. I loved having them. I'm not against plastic surgery. I think, right, if you want to do something to your body that is your freaking choice, I don't have anything wrong with that at all. But my back feels like a 90-year-old woman.

Like, I'm so tired. You're getting things out of here. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So all of these shows, I mean, there's interviews on interviews with you and Doug. And eventually the relationship ended. How did it end?

And how did you tell him you wanted it to end? I just started shutting him out. Okay. I just distanced myself from him so much to the point where I didn't let him in anymore. I grew up and I started realizing what was happening to me. I don't think I would be sitting here right now if I wouldn't have divorced him. When did you tell him you wanted a divorce? And how? I don't know if I ever did. Okay. I was at a place where,

you know, I knew he was in such control. I felt like I had great acquaintances but no one who I can really completely open up and trust right so I just I fell into myself and I was just always praying that he would leave before it was too late for me I I just remember praying and waiting and hoping he would leave, which he eventually did. He eventually left. He went to Michigan, moved in with his dad, who was like freaking 80 or something. And, you know, Doug didn't have anything. And I felt responsible for that, you know, somehow he made me feel responsible for that, but I kept, I just kept my eye on the prize, and that was my health,

setting good boundaries for myself, being strong, even in those moments where I didn't want to make it anymore i mean really i just you know there are so many times but then you would always have to put on that brave face for everybody because everybody would see me differently so i'd have to really you know just like like a light like go into that character i mean anyone that has a fucking brain should have been like this girl needs help she's a child she doesn't any better. But I also think society now like has changed so much. I agree. I mean, this marriage took place before Me Too, before Time's Up.

I feel like in this generation right now, if this was so public, I feel like an army of people would become like, you know, banging on my door, dragging me out. But then the scary part is to me too, is that it's still freaking happening to people who aren't as high profile as me and who don't have those resources. What were the next few months of your life like trying to figure out life without him? Because you'd been with him for over seven, eight years. It was 10 years by the time our divorce. Yeah. Um, wherever you go, there you are. Right. So my trust issues are so prevalent in my current relationship. I'm engaged. I mean, um, but also with my friendships, with my,

my family, I just have these severe, severe, severe trust issues with so many different people. Um, but it, it definitely affects my, my, my, um, ability to open up to people in a genuine way it's really hard for me to do that because I was so crushed at as as a child you know and and especially so publicly publicly abused like you are a survivor you are you came in and immediately were like, oh, take my phone. I don't, I don't want Doug to call. What, can you explain what's going on? I blocked him recently because he's been reaching out to me. You know, he knows that I'm moving on he knows I'm I'm trying to and and um you know I'm I'm happy and I find moments of happiness and I'm finding myself and um I mean the most recently thing he just reached out to me a few months ago asking me for his guitar that he wants back and it's

almost like that ex calling and saying hey I left a sock in your drawer about eight years ago do you think you can like maybe send it back to me you know but like it was just you know it's just so obvious that he is still trying to victim claim control you know even after just knowing that he was just doing this to a 15 year old girl less than a month and a half ago moving forward how are you going to handle that relationship with Doug I am never going to speaking him to get like again like ever ever ever I I will never let him in and I like I feel like I have a really good predator radar now like I am I am probably way too hypersensitive but like I can see someone that walks in a room and I can just I'm so hypersensitive I'm an empath and I just yeah yeah do you think that Doug should be in jail.

I think he should be. Looked into. Way more. Than he has been. Yeah. I mean you just said. and that will determine whether he needs to be you know yeah but based on everything I've heard based on everything I mean yeah 15 year old that should be more than looked into what is as we wrap up everyone's gonna see Courtney Stodden what is

a misconception about you if people are listening that you would not even like to clear up that you're just like that this is not who I am this is who I am because we've seen so much of you through your youth and it was obviously skewed um yeah what do you want people to know I was not a child bride I was a child who was exploited I think that that is something that people should think about um you're writing your book which we've heard about we're going to keep an eye out for it um and and you've talked about how you want to help through this book others that are going through anything similar to your your struggle what do you hope readers when it does come out take from your book every detail like be very afraid you know know who you are. Are you going to use names in your book?

Good for you. Can you give us one? Mm-hmm. You think so? Oh, my God. He's married. I'm sure you know her husband is not the best man just say that and are you writing details about what happened and

how does it make you feel to is it like a reclaiming moment for you? Um, it is, but I think that it's, um, reality. I am excited for the world to hear you in this light and, and through a new voice, which is your voice. It's not someone else's. It's not skewed by an abuser. Um, because you're, you're phenomenal and you're a survivor and you're, and you're incredible and you're smart and you have, you have the rest of your life in front of you and the fact that you're in this therapy journey you're open about you know the hardships that you've been through but also the way you're so positively talking but also realistically talking like it's not easy some days I don't want to get out of bed it's um so many women are going to relate to this story

and probably find the strength that you're talking about within themselves to like get through another day and just take it that's the only reason why I'm doing this honestly like I don't think I could find the strength to do this for myself and so I mean we're so pro-women now I think that is so important we always should have been but it's so important right now and it's really the only reason why I find the strength to speak out and you're a badass yourself so I felt so safe to sit down with you today so thank you thank you thank you thank you for coming on color daddy thank you