Call Her Daddy - Courtney Stodden (FBF)

Episode Date: October 18, 2024

This week, Father Cooper sits down with Courtney Stodden. Courtney broke national headlines back in 2011 when at 16 years old they married 51 year old Doug Hutchison. At the time, Courtney received endless online hate and negative media coverage. Courtney, a child, received death threats, was stalked by the paparazzi, sexualized, and labeled a whore. Courtney is now 27 years old, has gotten into therapy, and started their recovery journey. This is a story of child abuse that began 10 years ago and after finalizing their divorce in 2020, Courtney is now beginning to process what it means to be a survivor. This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of sexual abuse of a child, and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised. If you have been affected by sexual violence, free, confidential support is available 24/7 through RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656-4673 and online.rainn.org.

What's up, daddy gang? It is your founding father back at it again for another episode of call her daddy. Before I start this episode, I need to preface this with a trigger warning. This interview contains references to abuse of a minor. Again, this is a trigger warning and listener discretion is advised. If this episode is not for you, I love you and I will see you next week. Okay, Daddy Gang. If you are familiar with today's guest, you probably know them from the headline the media

used to define them in 2011. Courtney Stodden, a 16 year old child bride marries a man in his 50s. I was also 16 when this story was on the front cover of every fucking tabloid. This man was hired by Courtney's mom to be Courtney's acting coach. It turned predatory, Courtney's parents knew and let it continue. And I remember when Courtney Stodden was signed away by their parents and granted permission to marry this dude in his 50s. At the time, Courtney received endless online hate and negative media coverage. Again, Courtney, a child received death threats, was stalked by the paparazzi, sexualized, labeled a whore. This was a 16 year old. Meanwhile, if you look back at all the media coverage, it's like they forgot about the

adults in the situation. The 50 year old fucking creep Courtney married, Doug Hutchison, this washed up actor would have been a pedophile if he had pursued a relationship with 16 year old Courtney. But instead Courtney's parents willingly welcomed Doug into their family and legally permitted the marriage. After suffering abuse at the hands of countless adults and reality TV shows, being exploited,

Courtney is now 27, gotten into therapy and started a recovery journey. Listen, I had not kept up with Courtney Stodden and sitting down with Courtney, I realized the reality of how layered their story is and how deeply the media betrayed that 16 year old child. This is a story of child abuse that began 10 years ago This is a story of child abuse that began 10 years ago.

And after finalizing their divorce in 2020, Courtney is now beginning to process what it means to be a survivor. ["Darling, Darling, Darling, Darling, Baby"] I will probably take five minutes to get comfortable so sorry. I think it's just this large thing in front of my face that's giving me a little PTSD maybe. Just wanna like push it back. They all look the same to me at this point, honestly. Okay, let's drink our water. Would you prefer we were drinking vodka? Actually, yeah. We could maybe get some drinks in here in a little bit.

I am down. Okay, what do you like? I mean, it's your show. I'm down. Okay. I mean, what do you like your show? Oh, I'm down to drink. What kind of alcohol do you like? Um, I'll just do whatever you have. We have vodka or tequila, right? I think vodka probably. I'll take tequila. I like that. It's like welcome to Call Her Daddy. It's noon on a Wednesday and we are popping the bottles open We were out like getting some like, you know, like a diva day and the entire place turned into a bar

and like how long? In seconds. In seconds. Are we recording? Okay, yeah, maybe this will be the intro of us just summoning our drinks. We're like, get me some fucking alcohol cause it's about to get emotional.

I think we're gonna need it for this one. I do too. Honestly. I do too. Yeah. 45 45 minutes later Courtney and I have taken 12 shots. We fixed our flyaways. We've eaten the mic. And I think we're ready for therapy. Cheers. Cheers. It's just so fucking amazing to meet you. We are the same age and I remember seeing your story when I was like 15, 16. I remember watching it kind of unfolding in the news and since then so much has happened in your life

and I really appreciate you sitting down with me. You live in LA? Yeah, I live in Brentwood area. Love that area. How long have you lived there? I've lived there probably for like a year and a half now. And Kamala Harris is my neighbor. So.

Bougie bitch. What? It was just really shocking because I'm in the middle of studying for my license. Finally, at 20 freaking seven years old, finally passed my permit, trying to get my license, and I'm trying to drive home, and there is so much traffic on this little street,

couldn't figure it out, and then I went too fast, and one of these guys was like, he was like, I don't know, like a security guard. He goes, you shouldn't just slow down, Kamala Harris is trying to go home, and I'm just like, what the heck? Wow, that's status right there. That's also LA.

Like how fucking just casual that you're just like neighbors with Kamala, you're like, what's up? So crazy. Have you ever seen her? I've tried like since then, I've kind of like been this, like I've been driving really slow with my permit, you know, like looking over at her house. Like literally two miles an hour, just like so creepy.

Right, I know, but there's like security in front. So I think they're starting to kind of look at me like, why is this bitch looking so fucked up? But it's just, yeah, it's amazing. I mean, it was the first time I ever voted in my adult life and I voted for Kamala. That's such a cool moment. Our president, yeah. Comes full circle, now you're just casually neighbors. in my adult life and I voted for Kamala and our president. That's such a cool moment.

Comes full circle, now you're just casually neighbors. You must live in a nice neighborhood, Courtney. You're like, no comment, absolutely. Did you always have aspirations to move to LA? Like when you were a little girl, did you wanna be famous? What did you wanna be? I've always loved music.

I always wanted to pursue that at a really really young age and my mom She was always very supportive of it. I think that she found a lot of Entertainment in supporting her daughter as well And so her and I just kind of like became this Almost like a momager to me and then, you know, was that mindset of helping her daughter. When and why did your parents decide to homeschool you? My father wasn't involved in that situation. He wasn't contributing at all to the decision

to pull me out, nor did he really know that I was being completely abused and bullied at school. In sixth grade I was pulled out because I was bullied. I mean I got a lot of like my old friends bullying me and you know my arm was broken at one point. And I just was that kid that was really popular before I hit puberty.

And then when I hit puberty, I was treated so differently. And as a child, you really don't understand why you're being treated differently. Assault emails that I was getting from the future middle school and stuff, they're gonna knock my teeth down my face and they're going to knock my teeth down my face. And they're going to, it's just going to be a really horrible experience for me.

So my mom pulled me out because of that. Yeah. At that time, your dad was not in your life. I think in looking back at it, I feel like my father completely left me emotionally abandoned. And I don't know if he's that type of man to be able to properly, emotionally be there for their child.

It just doesn't seem that way because history wouldn't have been the way it is for me, like my life, right? It all kind of falls back to that relationship. So many young women go through that and then it directly affects their romantic relationships moving forward, which we will be getting to. You got married to a man in his 50s when you were 16.

His name is Doug Hutchison. How did you meet Doug? Let's take, Courtney's grabbing for the vodka. We're like, hold on, let's take a sip of our drink. Here we go. Let's get into Doug. How did you meet Doug? Doug and I met through a mutual friend.

So the mutual friend manager introduced my family to Doug because Doug was teaching acting classes here in LA. And I always kind of expressed interest also in singing, but in acting and that's how we connected was through email. Email. So you got connected with him on email and what were the initial conversations

you were having with him via email? I think I just need a little break for a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, take your time. No, take your time. What's coming up for you right now? I'm still healing from this. It's very, very, very fresh for me. I wore waterproof mascara specifically.

I never wear waterproof. But we met through a mutual friend we started connecting through email and my mom and this you know our mutual friend Tim his name is Tim Wilson he didn't know about the exchanges that Doug was having with me. My mom did, she was aware, she was like over my shoulder the entire time practically, or having me print out the emails and she was reading them. And you know, nothing was sexual, but it was definitely not about what it was supposed

to be about, which was about teaching me acting and all of that stuff that professionally you're supposed to be doing. And then as a child, I didn't really see it as anything predatory. I don't think children have that capacity to really see that, especially if they don't feel like they have a proper relationship with their father. There were just questions like, what's your favorite color? And where do you see yourself in five years?

And let's play 10 questions and then we're going to get to know each other that way first. After that, then I can kinda help teach you where I think you'd fall good in acting. Just all of this BS now I know in retrospect, right? It's just a way to start figuring out the child and to get your claws in them and control them. Did he know what you looked like? Because you were only communicating on email. Did he know your age and did he know what you looked like? Because you were only communicating on email.

Did he know your age and did he know what you looked like? He knew what I looked like. My manager at the time sent him pictures and he was very much aware of what I looked like. But he claims that he's never known my age, he never knew my age. It's not true. He did because my mom received a call from him and he said, you know, so I really wanna start teaching your daughter acting.

And she goes, okay, well, you know, she's only, you know, she just turned 16 and he knew my age. Absolutely, he did. Did you know how old he was? I did, yeah, yeah. So you were saying that your mom was like printing out the emails and looking over them with you Do you remember your mom ever saying anything?

To be careful of or was it was she condoning this during the time too? My mom has always been a very protective mother, I mean just just going back and kind of trying to I've always been a very protective mother. I mean, just going back and kind of trying to shine a little light on my backstory a little bit. My mom has gotten a lot of hate, and I understand why. I mean, if I ever have a baby and I'm raising that baby, from my own experiences, I would never sign my kid off ever to an adult man, you know, 34 years old. Like there's just no way that would happen. But I think that she thought she was doing

something that was going to make me happy truthfully. I really believe that. But in retrospect, she knows it was the wrong decision. She's even, she's apologized to me so many times and has said, you know, if I could just do anything to do over, I would, I'm just so sorry when sign off on this. How long were the two of you speaking online before you met in person?

We spoke online and on the phone for six months. And then I met him in person. He came to my hometown. And what were the expectations of him coming? What was the purpose of that trip? I believe it was obviously to see his child in person, verify the parents are on board, I'm not gonna go to jail,

and I can get that free pass to molest a child. I just need that paperwork signed for me to get married, because it's a loophole. Right. And then a week later we got married. So I basically just met him in person one week, and then a week later I'm married. But just to get context,

so you had fully had a conversation of this is a relationship before you met in person. Like that was our now in the works fully and your mom was aware of it. I was already groomed before I met him, yeah. He comes into town, what was that like with him meeting your parents and everything? Like, do you remember that week?

I do, but there was a specific moment that really stands out to me after picking him up from the airport. My father was driving, my mom was there, felt like I had support. My dad just said he needed to meet him in person and then he could just sign off on it, which in retrospect makes me extremely angry. He was in his very own fragile state of mind at that point in the marriage with my mother. My mother was in a very bad place with my father so this was like a perfect like you know grooming situation

for someone like Doug. I remember being know, picking Doug up from SeaTac, driving about an hour and a half to a cafe. And I thought maybe at least it would take the entire weekend for my father to then talk to me and say, you know, I don't know if you, you know, I feel like I really did want to marry Doug because I thought I was in love with him. but there was also something in me as a child that made me question if my father really loved me. So it was like this dichotomy. And so when we got to that diner, we had a little lunch. My dad immediately, before they ate their lunch, took Doug outside and said, you know what,

you have my blessing. He didn't even see him for maybe an hour. They didn't talk, my dad was driving, Doug was in the back seat, and he gave Doug the blessing to take his child away from him. You know, even if he did feel like, you know, his family was falling apart and all these things, like I feel like he did choose himself.

Did your dad ever pull you aside and ask how you were feeling? He did before we met Doug, but it was just like five minutes in my bedroom, kind of took my hands, is it, is this what you want? I know he was, I know he was arguing with my mom. I of took my hands, is this what you want? I know he was arguing with my mom. I could hear them screaming throughout the house. But I just think he gives up so quickly. That's just the kind of person he is. He just kind of runs away

from issues. So I mean, it just makes sense why this happened. And it happens to so many other children in the USA. I mean, about 300,000 children, underage children, were married to adults between the years of 2000 and 2018. And 86% of those children are girls. And it's in this country. We think of child bride as some foreign situation, but it's so prevalent in the USA right now. And it's terrifying.

And some as young as 10 years old. Did Doug treat you like an adult or did he treat you like a child? I think that it's pretty obvious that he looked at me like a child but wanted to treat me like some kind of object. How did he pitch you on getting married? Why couldn't you guys just date?

I grew up in a really Christian family and I was a virgin when I met Doug and you know because of my mom's own, again, I mean I'm going through this in therapy so I'm not yet healed from all of this, but you know she believed that this guy would really take care of me and really love me. And she was also in a position to feel like she could believe him. I mean, she really did. You know, I'm just gonna say it. When I went through this divorce process with Doug, I found out that right after I left him, he started pursuing a 15-year-old girl in the UK.

And I have all of the proof, I have all of the emails. I got connected with in ex-assault victim. He was doing the same thing to another 15-year-old girl while I was going through this process. Is there a tissue? Yeah. I'm still working through all of this. So you're going through the divorce and you find out he's already on to his next victim.

Yes. I found out through, I found out through a stepmother who reached out to me on Instagram. And I just, I can't tell you how much that broke me, like even after all of like the control. I felt like I didn't even have control over my own body, my own finances. I couldn't sign any legal documents in that marriage. I couldn't sign off on my own marriage. I was just so controlled. But then I think that there's this

trauma bond that happens when you're that age. You have this, I don't want to say I had Stockholm syndrome, but there's this grooming, it's the effects and the mental effects of grooming, where I didn't wanna believe, you know, right? I mean, few people reach out, I just didn't wanna believe it. I just, you know, it's not how he made me feel, he made me feel really, really special and unique.

I just really believed him. And then just finding out everything, it's just horrible. And then reading that he's ready to marry another minor, I just helped with the attorneys there get this little girl away from him. Wow. It just became my mission because I know exactly what he was doing.

I saw the emails, they were the same emails to me, and they were the same letters, because in 96, same letters he was writing in his handwriting to this other 15 year old girl. It just clicked that I was with a predator. And I never, I was just so groomed I never wanted to believe it. Legally, how were you able to marry Doug? I was able to marry Doug because my mom signed off on the paperwork. Did your parents prior to that or any adult have a conversation with you of like this is what's going to change in your life if you marry this man? Did anybody have that conversation with me? Yeah like hey if you get you're

about to get married at 16 like this is what's gonna happen. No. No I mean I really didn't even know what was gonna happen on the honeymoon. I had no idea really. Your wedding day, you're walking down that aisle. What do you remember feeling on that day? I was beyond nervous because I just wanted to play the part for him. Like I wanted him to be impressed with me. Like I was a woman. I mean, I was a kid.

So I feel like I was playing dress up in a sense, but I was so madly in love with him that I just like, I don't know, it was just this really strange feeling that I always carried with me. And I mean, the photo of my father walking me down the aisle is really interesting to me because he has this look on his face. I mean, you can Google, like it's,

he has this look on his face. I mean you can Google like it's he has this look on his face Where he's just so Angry But he's still doing it Which which was really you know, it's just I don't know how does it make you feel when you look at that photo Angry. Yeah, I How does it make you feel when you look at that photo? Angry. Yeah, I definitely know the more awareness and therapy

and the more I come to terms and go through all of these things, I'm seeing things so much more clearly. It's so hard to see something so clearly when you're the one who is in that spotlight and you get so much support you know, support but the hate and like all of that, like it's so hard to just make sure that you're listening to a healthy amount of it all, I believe, but like I just got to a place where I was just listening to so much negativity

because that's really, I mean, I really didn't have that much self-worth. Did you ever ask your dad, seeing that photo, like why did you then walk me down the aisle? Nope. My father has completely disowned me. He texted me and said, you are not my daughter. This was about three years ago.

So I don't have a relationship with that man. What triggered him disowning you? My marriage to Doug, because I was obviously old enough to make that decision. My mother not wanting to be with my father because of my decision she wanted to go with me and that broke up their marriage. He obviously hits the bottle pretty hard. I think he runs away from a lot of things. He's kind of always been like that, but he's, I really believe too, like underneath it all,

he is a really scarred, amazing, gentle man. He just doesn't know how to deal with any of this properly. I mean, even serial killer parents like never disown their kids. What did I do? You mentioned that you were a virgin when you met Doug and you mentioned that you had no idea what the honeymoon was going to entail. What do you recall about that night and losing your virginity and the whole experience?

I mean that whole experience for me was so insane. I mean coming from a really, I grew up where Kurt Cobain grew up. And it is like the most depressing freaking town. Nobody does anything. Like, you know, like it's and so from that to being pulled a week later into this, I mean, I just I just shut down. I disassociated myself. I tried the best I could to put on that that role, you know, because that's what grooming is really. I, you know, came from a really small town and then immediately like right up in the Hollywood Hills and you know the honeymoon is gonna be

scheduled at the Chateau Marmont penthouse and I remember running into the bathroom, shutting the door and just looking in the mirror and crying for I don't know how long, I was just crying. And I know I was feeling stuff that I wasn't necessarily letting myself process, or I wasn't old enough to process, or something, I don't know. I take my bra off, I was wearing those bombshell

Victoria's Secret bras, do you remember that? It was like two big cup sizes. And then inside of that, I had a cutlet. So they were like, and I was so freaked out to undress because I'm like, he's just, he's not gonna love me like this, like he, like how, like I look like a kid. Like I looked like a 12 year old with my clothes off. Little did I know it was a fantastic night for him,

but I was a complete nervous wreck. So you were petrified to get undressed. Petrified, yeah. Once you did, did you ever loosen up or did you feel uncomfortable the whole time? Like how did he handle calming you down? Well, he gave me a little wine before when I went into the bathroom.

So I had a little wine. At 16, before you have sex for the first time. Just a little, yeah. Were you, was that the first time you had a drink? I had a corona the day I arrived to Doug's house with my family before we got married before we all jetted off to Vegas the next day I remember I opened his fridge and I'm like I'm fucking emancipated I'm having a corona so it was like my first corona ever so I started drinking when this yeah so at 16 at 16, starting to drink, being married, you go to this honeymoon, afterwards, what was early marriage life like for the two of you?

I just remember waking up the morning after at the Chateau Marmont. And I was growing up in such a religious household and I remember looking down at the sheets, the white sheets and I was just, I was praying to God. I was like, please, and for some reason, I kind of felt like the one that wasn't good enough all the time, like, you know, I'm like,

please, I pray to God that there's some cherry on there because if there's no freaking cherry like I'm not I Am NOT gonna be good enough for this man Like literally how sick is that like I mean, I'm not putting down anybody's beliefs But like for me, I just look back at it and I just feel like it's so sick and I I saw it and I was like, I felt like, okay, so this is ordained by God. Like this is an ordained situation. How was he towards you after that first night together?

I have never seen him so on top of the moon. I mean, I woke up and he had his little like hat on he was playing the piano like you know he he just was I mean he just got to molest a child legally With a 34 year difference between you and Doug back then what was presented to you that you guys had in common? He would, you know what, he would always answer those questions, so whenever we would do like, you know, our media rounds, or he would do an interview,

or I would do an interview, I would always kind of fall back on what he would tell everybody, like my dad. I'm like, oh yeah, okay, so that's how I answer this media question. What do you have in common? We love I Love Lucy, you know, okay, so that's how I answer this media question. What do you have in common? We love I Love Lucy. We love the Honey Mooders. We love ACDC and Jack White and all these bands that we really love.

And it's just so crazy how much we have in common. So that was how he would connect it for people to be like, you know what, I'm like a back door of life, she's like front door, like we meet somewhere. Yeah, with TV shows and music. Yeah. What were like dinners like between the two of you?

Drinking all the time. Drinking, drinking, drinking. And he condoned it, if anything, he pushed it on you. I mean, you said the first night you were about to have sex. He never told me no. Did you have to have sex with him on his schedule? I still have scars on me. Physical scarring. So, yeah.

When did you start to realize this may not be what I want to do forever with this man? I was way too young to be crying on the kitchen floor every freaking night with a bottle of wine and opening another one. I felt like I didn't have at that point in time, like 17 years old, I didn't feel like I had anybody in my corner. I felt like, you know, because I was being told to commit suicide at 16. I mean, every moment I would turn around, there'd be another hit piece, you know, in the grocery store or somewhere else, you know,

people talking about how I'm dressing or behaving. And little did they know then that that is a part of grooming. I was trying to be that part, right? And yeah, that part really did a doozy Yeah, that part really did a doozy on my self-worth, really. When did you realize he had a drinking problem? Gradually. Because when we, when he first was reaching out to me, you know, he was claiming that he was getting sober and he wanted to be sober and he was cleaning up his life and things like that and I believed him. I didn't know anything

really about it anyway. I mean I know my dad drank a little bit but I wasn't really that close with him so it it wasn't some alarming thing. But it became an issue probably two months into our relationship when I started noticing Jackal and Hyde. OK. You know? What was it like living as a child

with an alcoholic adult in a house together? Which time? With my dad or Doug? I'm trying to- With Doug, with Doug. Okay. There are so many to count. I mean, it was almost every night.

I mean, for years. And were you scared in the house? Yeah. There was a gun. I mean, yeah. I mean, you know. Did he ever, when he was drunk, take it out? I don't wanna legally talk about that right now.

Yeah. Was Doug physically and verbally abusive? He was extremely emotionally abusive to me. At times physical, but mostly emotionally and abusive because I think that that's the ultimate power a groomer has over a child is that emotional abuse and control, yeah. Were you always playing the part

and then behind the scenes kind of trying to figure out at one point an escape plan? We separated a couple times, but every time we separated, I just felt like I couldn't live without him. I mean, I was raped a few times when I left him and I go back to him and he's just kind of like, well, what do you expect? You know, you left me.

Like, you know, I'm the one who loves you. I'm the one who takes care of you. And so that's why it took so long. I know the media is always wondering like why did it take so long? That's what was happening is this abuse, this emotional abuse. And I think too, like so many victims

and survivors blame ourselves. We blame ourselves because we think it's our fault, but the full picture is the abuser is the one who is controlling that. It's not your fault at all. And I wish I could have told myself these things in those moments. Yeah.

Whoo, this is a deep one, girl. You're doing amazing, seriously. I'm just saying. I feel like I'm on Oprah right now. You did bring up during the Me Too movement, those sexual assaults. Can you explain what happened? Just more adult men exploiting either a minor

or a very young teenage girl at that point in time. When this happened to you because you explained you were on a break with Doug, like your initial reaction was to run back to him, which if people aren't educated, they'd be like, what the fuck, that makes so much sense. I got that a lot. When I chose to go back to him, which if people aren't educated they'd be like, what the fuck? That makes so much sense. I got that a lot, you know, when I chose to go back with him the first time. I mean, even some celebrity friends were like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, why in the hell are you doing that? And

it's so hard to explain this to somebody who hasn't been through it. Now knowing, like what are some tangible red flags to look for that indicate grooming? I feel like you can Google a sociopath and get the exact same definition, charming, intelligent, an empath, someone who can disarm you, disarm your family, and that's the scary part. It's like you don't... how can you always, you know, spot that? The public hate you were getting, not only just from random people, like celebrities. You got Courtney Love called you publicly a whore. Anderson Cooper shamed you on national television.

And Chrissy Teigen took it to a new level. She publicly wished you dead. And at the time, it seemed like no one gave a fuck. No one saw anything wrong with it. Some of her tweets, I hate you, go to sleep forever. What drugs make you do that with your mouth? Asking for a friend who really wants to know how to look like an idiot, thanks.

To confirm, had you ever met Chrissy Teigen? Not have I only not met her, but I've never spoken to her in my life. Like, and I actually really liked her. Like I followed her. I mean, obviously I actually really liked her. Like I followed her. I mean, obviously I love John Legend. Like I love, I just was like, I was following them. And then I started seeing this on my timeline and I was like, but I love you.

I just had this feeling, but I really like you. But like other than that at that point in time because I was so young, I don't think I processed how deeply that led to my future depression. I mean you're literally getting publicly shamed. But at that point in time as a kid I was just like, I was just like oh she's she's sexualizing toddlers and tiaras. Like, oh, big deal. Because I was a kid, right? I mean, she was shaming Lindsay Lohan.

She was struggling with a lot of her own stuff. And I just freaking love Lindsay. I think Chrissy was in a really, she had to have been in a really dark ass place to tell these children and women, you know, these things to, I don't know, make herself feel better about herself. I know now, you know, she's saying she's doing the best she can and I really hope that she means it. You know, if that stuff continues, we're just going to see more suicides. Unfortunately, it's not going to help.

Those were public tweets. Did she privately message you, right? She privately messaged me a lot. Sometimes it was really late, like 2 in the morning. And I don't know what it was. It wasn't just like one or two tweets. Like, Courtney, love. You know, she just called me a whore, big deal.

You know? Yeah, love you too. But Chrissy, it was like, it was over, wasn't it over like two years of harassment? It was a really long time. What was she privately messaging you? She privately messaged me. I specifically remembered this one

because I was just like so shocked. Right. It was really early in the morning at some point. This was a really, I mean, this was a freaking decade ago. I know a lot of people can change in that time frame, but I didn't hear from her when she apologized. I was blocked from everything. She messaged me, I cannot wait for you to die.

And that was just one of them that I remember. And then publicly she was saying you know dirt nap or something you know I can't wait for you to take a dirt nap and she was just obsessed with seeing me die. If you could say something to Chrissy Teigen right now, what would you say to her if you saw her? I really don't have anything to say to her. I don't need to speak to Regina George. It's not something I need. I don't need that.

I'm Lindsay. No. You're like, I will push you in front of a bash. No. No, I think that's very mature of you. So you were on multiple reality shows. How did you make the decision to enter reality television? I didn't.

My pedophile husband is the one who decided to sign me up for things because you know he needed the money. Another misconception is people thought I was a gold digger and I married him for money. I'm the one who was taking care of him. That's why I entered reality TV because I felt like I had to. I mean he controlled the bank accounts. I didn't even know how to write a check. So whenever I was sent into something it felt almost like a conservatorship right in a way

But yeah, I I was the one making the money and that's why I would do the shows I mean I would get so sick before The shows I know on mother-ughter, I was so underweight. I felt so anorexic before that. I mean, I went on the show, I was throwing up right when I got there. I was throwing up nothing. I didn't have anything to eat in a few days.

I wasn't eating on set. You know, I just, I got to a point where I was so freaking sick and I was sent to the hospital on the show because of it. Cause I just, I got to a point where I was so freaking sick and I was sent to the hospital on the show because of it, because I just, I was gonna faint, like I was so sick. But really, Doug cared about me finishing it out and getting the money and then returning it to him. So you would get the money

and then he would take care of the finances. Do you think that the amount of hate you were getting even bonded you more with Doug because it's like absolutely we felt like Bonnie and Clyde I mean, that's what he would tell me, you know, he was like, you know, we're Bonnie and Clyde baby that's it that's it's it's it's you and I and there were things that would bond us together right that only we would know and abusive tactics that he would you know put into play throughout the ten years of can you give an example was there anything he would say it got

to a point where he would have to convince me just to do it. Like he would be pushing me, like literally like pushing like the conservator, you have to go collect this money. You know, you are the, what did he call me? Something all the time, he called me the golden goose. You're the golden goose. You got it, you know, we're gonna,

you gotta pay the rent, you know? That's what it is. And then he would guilt trip me if I didn't wanna do it or if I said I was too sick or I'm not mentally, I can't, you know, I need a break. You were on Celebrity Big Brother when you were 18. This was the first time you were really apart from Doug. Can you take us through what it was like moving into that house

and what that experience was like? When we got to London, I remember being on a hotel room in the room. I'm just, I have this trauma right now that I'm just even thinking about this. But he was standing there, Doug was standing there and I was holding onto his legs and I was just crying my eyes out because I knew the producers were gonna come pick me up. I couldn't, this was the first time I was ever like truly away from him.

I couldn't breathe, like being away from this man. That's how groomed I was. I didn't know how the hell I was gonna get away from him and be away from him for a few weeks or a month or whatever. And I was so distraught and I was so depressed. But then by the time I got on the show and by the time I became friends with Dustin Diamond,

he was the one who was in there that kind of made me realize some things in my relationship with Doug. And by the time I ended the show, I knew I didn't wanna be with him anymore. I knew there was something not up, right? Like that wasn't right. And by the time we got back to the US, I told them I wanted a separation.

And that's when I finally felt free enough to get away from him, strong enough to get away from him. I was assaulted. And then I went back, yeah. That's a pretty big moment to realize what was helping you process that. Space, I mean really space. You know, it kind of felt like college for me or something.

Like I went away to college and I, and it just made me realize I don't, I don't need him controlling me outside of this. Like I don't, I don't need that. But at that point in time, it felt completely impossible to get away from. Your experience on Celebrity Big Brother was the first moment you started to see

what life would be like without Doug. Then a few years later, you wind up on another reality show that focuses on your relationship with your mom, the mom and daughter experiment. When you went on the show, what was the status of your relationship with your mother at that point? I hadn't spoken with my mom for two years.

It was such a really hard situation because Doug was isolating me from my entire family at that point in time. So I blamed her for a lot and I was just in this really confused mindset. So the producers kept my mother off of the first night, off of the property. Everybody else could be on the property. Heidi Montag's mom and Natalie Nunn's mom and Real Housewife, they could all be there, but my mom couldn't be there

because they knew what a fragile situation it was. And then the next episode they introduced her and it was just so It was so difficult for me to finish this the To finish I was completely underweight I was so sick I was taking too many things You know because my mom would be telling me one thing and then Doug would be telling me another and then the whole world and celebrities and strangers and friends would be telling me other things so I just completely disassociated myself from myself and it made me really really sick so I'm surprised I got through that entire reality show to tell you the truth.

On the show, we find out that your mom was having an emotional affair with Doug, your husband at the time, and that Doug had sexual fantasies involving- Here we go with this vodka again. This is a heavy one. We find out that Doug had sexual fantasies involving the three of you. What was your mom's relationship with Doug? I'm still working on that therapy. Okay. And do you know when those things were said on the show?

Yes. Are they true? When I met Doug, he would go up and kiss a friend of mine on the lips. Like, immediately. It wasn't anything that was like, you know, a community, anything like that, but he was very charming. Oh, how are you? And he'd just go, oh, it's, baby, anything like that. But he was very charming. Oh, how are you? And he's like, oh, it's nice.

And I've had so many people tell me that it just made them feel so uncomfortable. They felt assaulted. But in his head, I would talk to him about it. And in his head, it's like, what do you mean? I'm just greeting them. I'm greeting them. Oh, yeah, I'm sexually greeting them. I'm greeting them. Oh yeah, I'm sexually, oh, you know, oh yeah, right.

But it felt like that for a lot of women and he did the same thing to my mother. Did Doug talk about your mom in sexual ways? Never. I personally never, never, never heard that. So when you were addressing your mom on the show saying, I know you're having an emotional affair with Doug. Where did you hear that information from Doug? Again, my mom has had her own experiences in life. I really, you know,

seen her fall in love with my husband through me. So it was like this, you know, I don't know. I mean, she even told me, you know, you and I are like Siamese twins, whatever you feel, I feel. And so I was a kid and she was going along with her kid with this situation. Right. I was a kid and she was going along with her kid with this situation.

Right. I'm still healing from this. Do you know if they ever had a sexual relationship? You know what? I would never know. You know, usually I would say, absolutely not. You know, that's crazy. But my life has been, I mean, when I go to sleep,

my dreams are so normal. And then when I wake up, my life is so freaking insane. So I just like to sleep most of the day. I got up early for this, okay? I'd be sleeping. I appreciate that. Okay, so you, does it, does it haunt you a little bit that you don't have that answer?

I'm haunted by a lot of shit. It's not on the top of my agenda right now because I have so many other things that I'm dealing with and going through and trying to make sense of. I definitely think eventually, it's obviously. I'll get to it. What impact did reality TV have on your body image? I don't know if it was necessarily reality TV.

I think it was mostly the media. When I shot into this cannonball, I was everywhere overnight. When you're a teenager, you see yourself a certain way in your mirror, right? When you're listening to fucking Trey's songs, or whatever you're listening to, you're just like, yeah, damn, I look good.

And then you see yourself every angle in the media, and it completely shattered me. So I had my breasts done right when I turned 18. That was something that I needed to do for myself because everybody already thought that I had these big boobs and you know I was already bullied for them and you know, you know, went on Dr. Drew. Can we talk about that because I watched that clip. I don't know how that just got past everyone. To anyone that's not watched it, you're 16 years old.

You go on Dr. Drew's show and quite literally, my mouth dropped when I watched it this morning of you on a table in front of a live audience. And they're basically doing like an ultrasound on your boobs to see if they're real because people didn't believe they were real at the time. At like 16, right? Who made that decision for you to go on the show? Doug did.

And how would he present those ideas to you? Money. At that point in time, I completely was like, oh, okay, I guess this is, you know, what I need to do. I mean, that was the thought of a child, I feel like, was, you know, it's kind of like, that's what he wants me to do. And I was so far in deep already that I just, I just kind of like became that persona.

When you talk about getting your breasts done at 18, what was the decision to get them done? I wanted to be the woman everybody expected me to be. From strangers and the media and everything else, it just felt like I needed to put that persona on. Yeah. Right? And Doug kind of benefited from that as well.

Like, you know, oh, look at me. I'm not just with a kid. You know, she doesn't look like a kid. And so many people fell for that. I am so ready to get them out. I mean, like I have so many massages every week. I am in so much pain. I loved having them I'm not against plastic surgery. I think right if if you want to do something to your body that is your

Freaking choice. I don't have anything wrong with that at all But my back feels like a 90 year old woman like I'm so tired Yeah, yeah, so all of these shows feels like a 90 year old woman. Like I'm so tired. Get these things out of here. Wow. Yeah, yeah. So all of these shows, I mean, there's interviews on interviews with you and Doug and eventually the relationship ended. How did it end?

And how did you tell him you wanted it to end? I just started shutting him out. Okay. I just distanced myself from him so much to the point where I didn't let him in anymore. I grew up and I started realizing what was happening to me. I don't think I would be sitting here right now if I wouldn't have divorced him.

When did you tell him you wanted a divorce? And how? I don't know if I ever did. Okay. I was at a place where, you know, I knew he was in such control. I felt like I had great acquaintances, but no one who I can really completely open up and trust.

So I just, I fell into myself and I was just always praying that he would leave before it was too late for me. I just remember praying and waiting and hoping he would leave, which he eventually did. He eventually left he went to Michigan moved in with his dad who was like freaking 80 or something and you know Doug didn't have anything and I felt responsible for that. Somehow he made me feel responsible for that.

But I kept, I just kept my eye on the prize and that was my health, setting good boundaries for myself, being strong even in those moments where I didn't wanna make it anymore. I mean really I just, there were so many times, but then you would always have to put on that brave face for everybody because everybody would see me differently. So I would have to really, you know, just like a light,

like go into that character. I mean, anyone that has a fucking brain should have been like, this girl needs help. She's a child. She doesn't know any better. But I also think society now has changed so much. I mean, this marriage took place before Me Too, before Time's Up.

I feel like in this generation right now, if this was so public, I feel like an army of people would become banging on my door, dragging me out. But then the scary part is to me too, is that it's still freaking happening to people who aren't as high profile as me and who don't have those resources. What were the next few months of your life like

trying to like figure out life without him? Because you had been with him for over seven, eight years. It was 10 years by the time our divorce. Yeah. Wherever you go, there you are, right? So my trust issues are so prevalent. In my current relationship, I'm engaged, I mean, but also with my friendships, with my family,

I just have these severe, severe, severe trust issues with so many different people. But it definitely affects my ability to open up to people in a genuine way. It's really hard for me to do that because I was so crushed as a child, you know? And especially so publicly. Publicly abused. Like, you are a survivor.

You are. You came in and immediately were like, oh, take my phone. I don't want Doug to call. What, can you explain what's going on? I blocked him recently because he's been reaching out to me. He knows that I'm moving on. He knows I'm trying to, and I'm happy, and I find moments of happiness, and I'm trying to and I'm happy and I find moments of happiness and I'm finding myself. And I mean, the most recently thing,

he just reached out to me a few months ago asking me for his guitar that he wants back. And it's almost like that ex calling and saying, hey, I left a sock in your drawer about eight years ago. Do you think you can like maybe send it back to me? You know, But like, it was just, you know, it's just so obvious that he is still trying to victim claim control, you know, even after just knowing that he was just doing this to a 15 year old girl less than a month and a half ago. Moving forward, how are you going to handle

that relationship with Doug? I am never going to see him again, like ever, ever, ever. I will never let him in. And I feel like I have a really good predator radar now. Like I am probably way too hypersensitive, but like I can see someone that walks into a room and I can just, I'm too hypersensitive, but I can see someone that walks into a room and I can just, I'm so hypersensitive. I'm an empath and I just, yeah.

Yeah. Do you think that Doug should be in jail? I think he should be looked into way more than he has been. And that will determine whether he needs to be, you know... Yeah. But based on everything I've heard, based on everything, I mean... Yeah, a 15-year-old, that should be more than looked into. What is, as we wrap up, everyone's see, Courtney Stodden, what is a misconception about you, if people are listening, that you would not even like

to clear up, that you're just like, that this is not who I am, this is who I am? Because we've seen so much of you through your youth, and it was obviously skewed. Yeah, what do you want people to know? I was not a child bride. I was a child who was exploited. I think that that is something that people should think about.

You're writing your book, which we've heard about. We're going to keep an eye out for it. And you've talked about how you want to help through this book, others that are going through anything similar to your your struggle. What do you hope readers when it does come out take from your book? Every detail. Like be very afraid you know who you are. Are you gonna use names in your book? Good for you. Can you give us one? You think so? Oh my God.

He's married. I'm sure you know her husband is not the best man. Just say that. And are you writing details about what happened? How does it make you feel? Is it like a reclaiming moment for you? It is, but I think that it's reality. I am excited for the world to hear you in this light and through a new voice, which is your voice. It's not someone else's, it's not skewed by an abuser

because you're phenomenal and you're a survivor and you're incredible and you're smart and you have the rest of your life in front of you and the fact that you're in this therapy journey, you're open about the hardships that you've been through, but also the way you're so positively talking but also realistically talking. It's not easy. Some days I don't want to get out of bed.

So many women are going to relate to this story and probably find the strength that you're talking about within themselves to get through another day and just take it day by day. That's the only reason why I'm doing this honestly like I don't think I could find the strength to do this for myself and so I mean we're so pro women now I think that is so important we always should have been but it's so important right now and it's really the only reason why I find the strength to speak out and you're a badass yourself. So I felt so safe to sit down with you today. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming on Call Our Daddy.

Thank you.