Call Her Daddy - Eileen Kelly (threesomes, revenge porn, & blowjobs)

Episode Date: October 6, 2021

This week, Father Cooper sits down with podcaster Eileen Kelly. After the sudden loss of her mother at a young age, Eileen formed an online community through Tumblr and blogging where she discussed sex, relationships and growing up. Alex and Eileen reminisce on their catholic school days and the sex-ed they wish they were taught. Well, what would they teach…porn and pleasure? While we are educating the masses, let’s discuss all things masturbation. Why are we embarrassed? What’s the ideal setup? Eileen also shares her experiences and stories with threesomes and suggests guidelines for those who are potentially considering. Have you ever had to file a restraining order against someone trying to blackmail you with revenge porn? Well, Eileen has and she spills the full story in this episode. The pair end the episode with a conversation around mental health and Eileen openly details her decision to check herself into McLean Hospital, a psychiatric hospital in Massachusetts where she spent five months. Enjoy daddies!

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy what the fuck is up daddy gang it is your founding father oh my god back again for another episode of call her daddy can you feel the? The tonality is a little bit happier, vibrant. We're on the fucking up and up because I'm in fucking New York City. I'm a different person in New York City. Daddy gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. This week, I am sitting down with Eileen Kelly. is Eileen Kelly Eileen has her own podcast it's called going mental on her podcast she talks work love life and of course mental health I definitely made a new friend which was amazing after recording this episode and I feel like you guys are going to

feel the same daddy gang Eileen could be any of us. She could be you. She's a cool ass fucking chick who's really down to earth, extremely bright and has been through a lot. And through all of this, she's made a business out of it, which we love to fucking see. Eileen moved to New York City

and ignited an online community where she and a team of writers, actually, it also just started with her in her bedroom, and then now has a fucking team who answers questions about sex, relationships, and growing up. Pretty fucking dope. We love to see a boss woman. Literally, we cover so much in this fucking episode we get into our catholic school days shout out sister fucking patricia and the sex ed curriculum we all wish we had okay and to all my goddamn horny bitches in the back lube up literally because in this episode we dive deep into masturbation 101 blowjobs and threesomes because Eileen has had many of them and a fucking story that blew my fucking mind it's a story of a friendship that turned into a revenge porn

disaster for Eileen and daddy gang you will probably be able to guess who did this to her because I did and if you can't fucking google it we end the episode with a discussion on mental health and Eileen openly details her decision to check herself into McLean hospital a psychiatric facility in Massachusetts where Eileen spent five months seeking treatment for her mental health daddy gang gang, I hope you enjoy my conversation with my new friend, Eileen Kelly. Let's just get into it. I'm like, I need a shot.

I do, literally. Should we be drinking can we have one shot tequila or vodka i'm a vodka girl vodka for her tequila for me like some people can just i don't know how they get up on stage like public speaking all that stuff was never my thing okay the fact that this is about to be warm i'm so sorry you don't care no what time is it it's noon dude it's literally noon i think it's necessary on your couch no it's fine oh there's been a lot worse shit on this couch let me be very clear let me be very clear okay here i go oh shit it's okay it's okay it's okay here we go it's for the podcast we're starting this fucking episode we're taking a goddamn shot a warm shot of tequila and vodka oh my god eileen kelly alexandra cooper thank you

for coming from new york city to hang out with me this is very exciting she's shaking her tits you can't see it but the tits are moving and right before she was like if my nipple comes out can you I'm like no there's nothing wrong with the nipple out we love the nipple out on call her daddy I'm also so excited because it's not I wouldn't say it's not too often but kind of as of recent that I haven't podcasted with someone that has a podcast so it's I kind of like podcasting with someone that has a podcast it's easier for me a little bit like you know where your head is on the microphone how close close. Yeah. Just like little logistical things. Just the logistics. Let's give the daddy gang a little bit of background about who you are and then we can dive into obviously what we're here for, which is sex. Not really, but kind of, but not really.

You grew up in Seattle. Yep. You have two older brothers and an older half sister actually. And then you're the youngest. Yes I'm the baby. I'm also the baby. So I relate. What was the dynamic there for you being the youngest. My siblings are all a lot older than me. OK. So like honestly I felt like part of my childhood I was kind of an only child like by the time I reached middle school everyone was out of the house in college. My sister was 17 when I was kind of an only child like by the time I reached middle school everyone was out of the house in college my sister was 17 when I was born whoa okay so you're like only child vibes yeah with hints of older siblings yeah and like I mean I wouldn't say I'm particularly like super close to them I feel like my sister and I are now creating a relationship because obviously like a 23 year

old isn't going to be right like close with like a four year old so it's like now that I'm finally once I started like entering my 20s she's in her 40s we're now like getting really close but honestly so my mom passed away when I was really young yeah and I think my dad as a single parent tried to just kind of emulate what I had like the family unit that we had had up until that point if that makes sense so like I always did ballet and dance and art I actually wasn't allowed to play sports I know wait I grew up in a really sexist household we'll get into that wait wait wait who told you you weren't allowed to play sports? I think it was more of like maybe my mom's thing before she passed away. I mean, my mom grew up in Mongolia.

So she grew up in like a third world country, like very rigid standards of women and men and sexism. But yeah, I wasn't allowed to play sports. But my brothers could. It was honestly really fucked up. I would say my childhood was like quintessential, like really, really positive, loving childhood. And then my mom passed away really suddenly when I was eight and like everything shifted overnight. My dad developed a really bad drinking problem and just didn't know how to cope with losing

like his partner. And he never got remarried. Oh wow. So it was like just having the single dad and I'm a lot younger. So I really got, I would say the brunt of just the neglectfulness more so than my siblings. Like I was younger and you're, you're very dependent on your parents at that age.

Of course. So you were the one that was in the house with your dad experiencing all of that. I'm so sorry about your mom. It's a long time ago. I honestly, as I get older, I realize how it shaped me into the person I am today. And there's a lot of positives to that. You can't live with regrets or like, what if this was different? Like, I just kind of take it by the...

Totally. That's literally how we survive. We got to make the best of any situation that we're dealt. What was your relationship to the internet when you were younger? I mean, it was like my place of refuge, literally. Like I felt like I had no one to talk to. I honestly had a really lonely childhood at certain points, like especially in middle school when I started going through puberty. It's like a weird time, I think, with your parents generally. But with a single dad, I didn't know who to talk to about like my body changing or like getting my period. So that's where I moved to the Internet. And I started this Tumblr account literally when I was like 14, 15. And I would just talk to other teens online.

It became like this Ask Alice vibe. So like I was 16 and like people would, I would share really openly. Like I had my first boyfriend around that time. I like lost my virginity around that time. So I would talk about it. I would do little posts. And then people started asking me questions. And that's how my Tumblr kind of blew up.

So they would ask me like advice. Like, like oh my boyfriend cheated on me or this and i'm like okay at 16 like what did i really know but like i think i was just happy to talk to these other young people but it's funny i met people i know now on tumblr like i met bella hadid on tumblr when we were 16 and i came to la once with my dad and we had a play date shut we met off of tumblr like i went to her mom's house in malibu so that's like the pros of social media and like that's amazing very beginning of social media like in my experience and i would love to hear yours now that everyone i feel like it's so saturated with people who have so many followers people don't jump on

like meeting people as much anymore I agree so you start on tumblr and then I moved to New York moved to New York for college so I always knew both my brothers went to school in New York like I went to NYU and stuff okay and I always knew like I would come and visit them and I was like I need to live here like ever since I was a child I was like New York is just calling my name like get me the fuck out of Seattle I'm like New York or LA but take me to New York yes specifically New York so I moved to New York and went to college there initially and I was like I'm gonna take this tumblr thing but I'm gonna take it off of tumblr and I'm gonna make a website just a blog right and I met this coder at NYU like who was like oh I can basically build it for you for free and then I met this graphic designer who worked for Kanye but they were like

young and it was the beginning of their careers so they were like down like if I had met them today this none of this shit would have happened like pay up bitch like literally the stars aligned at that moment and yeah they built me a website and I would just blog about like what's it like to get an IUD put in or how do I put a tampon in just like super basic things from a first person point of view in the beginning in the middle of call her daddy every fucking question was like oh my god what do your parents think about this and so I'm interested to know like when did you tell your family that you were like gonna be pursuing this yeah my family is really religious so it's been this kind of don't ask don't tell and it's something I'm still navigating as my career

has like flourished more and I've gotten more opportunities that they themselves can understand, those are the things I'll share with them. So like a couple of years ago, I was talking, like going and speaking at a lot of universities across the country. Like I've spoken at Brown, I've spoken at Columbia and like, these are universities where I'm like, I honestly probably couldn't even get into this school. Yeah. At like 20 years old, they're asking me to come speak and like give a presentation. And those are kind of the things that on paper, my, my family can be like, okay, we're proud of that. We understand that. But even yesterday I was on the phone with my dad. I was like, I'm going on this podcast. Like it's a

really big deal. I'm very excited, but but like he doesn't really know what podcasts are so he was like oh I'm happy for you but like right there's a disconnect is that hard I think I'm so used to it even since I was like a young girl and I almost feel like not having that huge amount of support at home has made me a go-getter. Because listen, us Catholic girls, we got to stick together. How did being Catholic and attending Catholic school affect your relationship with sex, your relationship with your body, boys, sexual education, etc.? I mean, a lot of things. Obviously, what we talked about earlier is I grew up in a male-dominated household. So that was like one tick. And then growing up in Catholic school where, yeah, none of the stuff was really talked about. It was much more hidden than it would be in other places. So I remember even in middle school, like girls having to bring a tampon to the bathroom, like they were embarrassed of it. who are not super comfortable with their like vaginas

or menstruation those are the women who honestly sometimes have a harder time orgasming because they're they feel dirty if we could go back and you could like be in your sex ed class you're like professor kelly like reteach us like what is something for sex ed that you like wish was enforced or taught pleasure yeah i mean i feel like the easy one to jump to is obviously consent and these things like aren't really talked about and they are definitely needed but pleasure is a huge one that's missing like sex should always feel good or like it shouldn't hurt so true I also remember you said something about porn porn education yeah let's also normalize like all right let's play it like this not so realistic like let's just be real like her on her head doing a headstand and he's coming down from

the swing and his dick is inside of her not real kids I also was just thinking recently like normalizing in vitro we live in such a hetero world of young kids if it was normalized that like you don't just have to have a man stick his penis into a woman's vagina to get pregnant if we normalize that then maybe also younger kids will feel less inclined to feel forced to be a part of such a hetero world if that's not internally what they're feeling yeah also i feel like normalizing awkward moments in sex yeah it's a huge one like you don't see that in porn and like porn tends to be a lot of people's sex ed yeah just unfortunately it's not supposed to be it's supposed to be entertainment for adults but like awkward moments of like okay if your partner like comes in you like what do you do sometimes i jump up and i run to the bathroom

and then i pee right so i don't get a uti right but it's like it's not like the it's not like in the movies i'm not cuddling with my partner right away i'm literally jumping up like hoping the come doesn't come out and like those are moments that need to be talked about or like queefing or just these things that are normal like bodily yeah in porn we never see any moment of an awkward transition from like doggy to missionary it's like and five six seven eight and flip and somehow like the dick stays in it's like that's not normal no or like super high quality like a shift from the camera angle and then they're all of a sudden they're in a new position yes like it's not realistic I agree okay I'm sure you have plenty of stories if it comes to mind like what is one of

like your best one night stand stories I've actually never had like a true one night stand are you a relationship girl yeah I'm kind of a serial serial dater I'm trying to actually get over that I used to be a lily pad hopper what that's what my therapist calls it wait explain like one time when I was like 18 or 19 oh my this is horrible I can't believe I'm admitting this basically my best friend at the time from high school like I knew he always had a crush on me and like we had this extreme sexual tension but I was dating someone else and we had cheated on my boyfriend and then I broke up with my boyfriend and started dating him right away like there was like a probably a two-hour switch but but to be fair my boyfriend got shipped off to rehab and like he moved away so we weren't even able to date anyways fair and I was I was young. I was like 19.

But that's what I mean. I've definitely had severe crossover. And for years of my life, I was never single. I always had a boyfriend. OK, so you're a serial dater. Not right now. Do you have a boyfriend right now? No.

Technically, we broke up like two weeks ago. Technically, we broke up. Do you think you're going to get back together? I don't know. We'll see. but I'm usually always in a relationship and it's actually something I'm trying to work on as I get older because I think it's very important to be able to be alone and be by yourself to then not settle for a partner that's not right for you I agree like I see girls or friends of my girls from school, for example, grew up in Seattle and then they start dating like some college sweetheart. And it's like you've only fucked two people in your life and then they get married. And I'm like, don't you want to experience your identity beyond being like by myself, love myself, and then hopefully meet a partner who adds to my life. I see this a lot with like mothers from high, from my high school friends,

grade school who have this midlife crisis just because divorce is like sky, the rates of divorce are skyrocketing where it's like, okay, they got married super young. They popped out kids. Then the kids leave the nest. They get divorced. And they're like, who am I without those identities? I don't, I literally don't know who I am. Did you watch sex life? That's the one where that actor has a huge dick. Yeah.

That's like the only review I heard of it. Because I literally in the middle of the scene, like he has the biggest dick. And I was like, is that a prosthetic? Which it was. It turns out. No, I heard it was real. It turns out it was fake.

Are you sure? Where did you read that? prosthetic? Which it was. No, I heard it was real. It turns out it was fake. Are you sure? Where did you read that? I literally Googled it. And it was like, they put for that one scene a prosthetic on him. It was just, it was like literally down to his ankle. I know, it was like an elephant trunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever seen a dick that big?

Not in front of me that I'm having sex with, but I have obviously in porn. But like, not that I'm like, it's about to enter me. No, I haven't. Have you had sex with a huge dick that you're like this is painful I have definitely seen one I honestly was hooking up with this guy once and I saw his dick and I told him I was like I don't think we're gonna be able to have sex I feel like I don't think that can go inside yeah literally what did he say he was like oh no it can work like it works so did you not have sex I never had sex

with him when did you start masturbating we need to talk about masturbating because this is going to be a whole topic I recently put an Instagram story on call her daddy if you've never masturbated and like you're scared can you just like explain to me why and I didn't know how many women would write in there were hundreds if not thousands of women writing in let me read a couple of these basically me asking can you anonymously share what's holding you back from masturbating why are you scared short answer I live with my parents and I'm paranoid someone will walk in second I really don't know what to do and I'm not comfortable enough with myself. Even though I'm comfortable having sex, question mark, I don't know why I'm scared of it.

Someone else, I haven't and I'm almost 27. For whatever reason, the idea is weird to me. I don't turn myself on. The thought of it makes me feel embarrassed, but I'm also totally open when it comes to sex with my boyfriend. Someone else said I've been through sexual trauma in my life and I feel like that plays a huge part in why I just

feel uncomfortable trying to please myself and I get very awkward when it comes down to it. So I think all of these make sense. You know, like the point of this podcast right now is to try to help you get out of those feelings towards being able to masturbate because listen it's the best feeling when you get to that comfort level and it's so amazing having that relationship with yourself yeah and it will improve your sex life with partners like tenfold so eileen walk me through a day in the life of masturbating with Eileen. I don't know. It really depends.

Like I go through phases where I don't masturbate. Because I feel like a lot of the time I have a boyfriend. And then if I'm getting my sexual needs met, like I don't really crave masturbating. And there's other times where like maybe I'm feeling anxious or depressed. And I'm just like not horny. 1,000%. But then there's times where I'm like super horny. And I just like want to masturbate. It really's times where i'm like super horny and i just like want

to masturbate it really depends i am a porn watcher i like i enjoy watching porn what kind of porn amateur like there's a few just videos that i like yeah and solo or girl on girl or guy and girl depends i think i like all those i randomly like girls with big boobs in my porn and i feel like because i don't have big boobs and something like that that's really interesting i like it's like liking something that i don't have yeah but i think my advice for some of the things that you just read and maybe the one who had gone through sexual trauma is a little bit different i think that's something that maybe it would be helpful to look into talking to a professional or like a therapist to helping unpack that relation. I agree.

But I think for me, my biggest advice is it doesn't even have to go straight to the vagina. Yeah. And I think one of the girls mentioned like I don't turn myself on. I don't think it necessarily means needs to be you turning yourself on I think it can just be like a fantasy or like watching porn or even if you have a boyfriend that you're really attracted to thinking about your boyfriend while you're alone I'm like just touching your boobs and like which is again I had some of that embarrassment like I remember from that like Catholic school upbringing like it just wasn't normalized at all. And it was like

the secret that I was keeping. So I remember I would turn off my lights and not suffocate myself, but I would like put a pillow over my eyes. Or if you have like a, like a sleeping mask, put that on, get into a position maybe where you're closing your eyes and it's dark and I have always been a big advocate for like ASMR porn to start and ease you into it so it's literally like a girl could just be making the noises of her masturbating and then as you're listening to that you're not visually seeing it you get to kind of go into your head of like who am I thinking about who would I want to fuck who have I fucked a past lover a future lover like what are you thinking of and then take your hands again get lube if you don't have lube you can spit on your fingers put your fingers in your mouth like I do really

recommend lube because it really elevates the experience and you're right like it doesn't have to be your vagina like start feeling your body if you don't want to rub your tits because you're right. Like it doesn't have to be your vagina. Like start feeling your body. If you don't want to rub your tits because you're like, oh, that's freaking me out. And you want to just start at the vagina rubbing, not just right on your clit. If you're like, I don't even know where my clit is. It's the top of your vagina. It's like right there. If you lightly start rubbing it, just rub around and you'll immediately be like, oh, that's it. Because you'll start feeling it. And I think rubbing in between like the lips is a really good starting and just rubbing lightly and trying different motions whether it's tapping sometimes with underwear on to start that's such a good point you can start with literally take

your fucking electric toothbrush put the back of the head over your underwear and just start lightly rubbing it that's actually maybe the best way i would say to start for someone who's not comfortable masturbating because there's no way you're not going to slowly get turned on if you're rubbing the vibration over your underwear and it's going to slowly start hitting your clit you're like wait oh my god i feel something yeah i don't think you need anything internal yet like just stay external yeah my recommendation for like a first vibrator would just be like a bullet like something just small maybe it just

has one setting it's not like a huge like vibrating dildo or something you're like stick in your vagina I think it's really really that's a great advice and also again like don't just focus on your clit but I would also suggest to girls that like you know what a clit is but like don't just focus on your clit. But I would also suggest to girls that like, you know what a clit is, but you don't even like know yours yet. Really get to the point where like you could with your eyes closed, go down and like immediately like it's like the pin the tail on the donkey. Like you could put your finger on your clit. No, that's what I mean.

Take the handheld mirror and go open your legs and sit in front of a mirror lock your door and inspect like where your labia your your labia is majora and menorah and like and look at a little diagram on google images so easy yeah and it's also going to get easier women should enjoy themselves and think about the amount of times a guy says oh i'm gonna go jack off that's almost the vibe we need to get to where it's also normalized for me to be like, I'm fucking horny. I'm going to go masturbate because once you get comfortable with yourself, I think for me, my masturbation definitely changes. Like you said, having a boyfriend, you, it's a weird dynamic. You have to almost like adjust and figure out like, when is my masturbation schedule? I've been doing it where I masturbate more recently

because it also then makes me horny for sex I was going through a period where I changed my birth control and not feeling great and I felt like my sex drive was down and so I have given this advice so I was like take my own fucking advice and I started masturbating like whether he like left to go work out and then I would masturbate then Then once I would do that, I would start to get more turned on throughout the day and then want to have sex with my boyfriend. So anyone that's like, why am I not? Also, if you're not in the mood, don't force it. I just knew I just needed that extra alone time because I was getting too used to just fucking my boyfriend and then it being like okay I haven't had any alone time listen if you're listening I hope you at least just order some lube today

and just hang out with yourself this weekend I recommend silicone lube I'm not a water-based lube girl look into what you're putting on your vagina because I've had what is that thing glycerin yeah yeah and I can give you yeast infection yeah you gotta just check that the ingredients don't have glycerin in it because that fucked my vagina up for a little bit okay so let's talk about blowjobs okay can you give us one of your best blowjob tips or just any type of go-to blowjob things that you have in your arsenal that yeah my only tip is just don't use your teeth oh stop i'm serious so the first time i ever gave a blowjob i was a junior in high school i was on a family vacation and i had met this guy by the pool and

he was my age and he lived in la and i thought he was super cute and i just had this feeling like he's gonna come to my hotel room later like I think I'm gonna give him a blowjob so he called my best friend who's a little bit older than me and I was like I don't know what to do like I've never given one and she was like just don't use your teeth and just pretend it's a banana and it worked and he would not believe me that it was my first blowjob to this day okay so just don't use teeth i i think that's just like if you're really gonna be focusing on one thing and like i was definitely young and insecure and like really in my head about it it's just like okay just don't use the teeth don't

don't accidentally use my teeth or bite it you know sometimes you just need again we're going back to the basics sometimes you need a gentle reminder that you can't use your fucking teeth okay do you can do you like giving head or no i do okay i think i okay do you find sex more intimate or blowjobs more intimate i find sex more intimate me too dude it's so crazy because i used to give these guys blowjobs and they'd be like we base basically why why can you give me head and we don't fuck yes i was like that is me because you aren't going inside of me fuck off like i'll put my mouth maybe that's like the catholic thing i'm not even kidding i'm a little more reserved when it comes to sex like i think sex makes me feel more attached i agree if i give someone just a blowjob or they eat me out it's like zero attachment I couldn't give two shits but I know a lot of women

and a lot of friends of mine who are the opposite and they find giving a blow job way more intimate than just getting fucked it's so interesting because I also think a lot of men think that like I remember I had this thing in college specifically and a little outside of college where I well I was on this like crazy fucking like ego train that I need I'm still unpacking I was obsessed with trying to get the guys that like everyone was like we can't get them I'm like I'm gonna go get him and then I would get him and then I was like we need to level up and it was just this like constant game for me I would always suck their dicks and I would never fuck them and I would see them always coming back around and everyone then I would talk to about it would be like blowjobs are so much more intimate

oh my god like you're basically fucking him and I'm like nope he's never been inside of me so no and I just saw it so differently and it was like a power dynamic for me that I loved that we had never had sex and I was still getting pleasure they would eat me out or finger me but it was like a power thing for me and maybe it does go back to that catholic thing of like I agree with you right I'm not even kidding I feel like I've had past boyfriends too where I'm like I'm not gonna fuck you and then they're like okay will you be my girlfriend like weird things where it's super quick I remember my i had a really long term like awful boyfriend and he had said years later like the only reason i asked you out so fast is because like i wanted to fuck you

and we ended up dating for years and this isn't advice this is just like we're just yeah we're just like talking it out i don't give a fuck about my mouth like i'm like get in there but that's what i mean is it some catholic like puritanical view of like virginity yeah no i'm serious because that's something i've been learning to unpack i'm in that boat completely it's so interesting there is no right or wrong answer girls if you're out there putting the pussy out and you're not giving them head like i'm not giving any judgment if anything do exactly what you want to do threesomes Eileen gave me a little wink have you ever had a threesome I have had many tell me I just threw my paper tell me everything

tell me the dynamic wait have you ever had a threesome I've had one okay and I know that my he's gonna kill me no he doesn't care he's just like I have job. My boyfriend and I have talked about it. Okay. I've never done it with a boyfriend, but I've had many. Okay. So I, I used to hook up with a couple. That's probably my favorite experience. And they lived in LA and I lived in New York and I would come to LA periodically and I would hook up with them. How did you meet them?

I met them out. They were just like hitting on me. But my gay best friend at the time was hooking up with the guy's roommate. So like I knew who they were. Like they weren't just like randoms at the bar. And I went home and or with them and I had a threesome. But I was like, I'm not going to have sex with because I was the guy with the guy. So I did everything else. Being the third was so fun

that's what see it was fucking amazing like you gotta come in i'm like all the attention's on me like i'm making this more fun and special i'm like the new little like toy for the yeah toy for the evening exactly but then i gotta leave before you guys get into a fight or deal with the bullshit that comes with being in a serious relationship can you walk us through like a night oh gosh that was so long ago i don't even remember i'm trying to think of maybe my most recent one okay so it's always it's always been with yeah it's never been someone i've been in a relationship with i have done it with fuck buddies okay i was sleeping with this guy last summer I guess he would say honestly we were basically dating you're like we weren't but we were not and I told him I was like I really want to have a threesome

so he found a girl on hinge love and we how did you go about the hinge tell me what you said oh I was super transparent I was like that's how we have to approach this I told her like hey I had matched with a couple girls like I'm seeing this guy I really want to have a threesome would you be down love and just like really straight to the point which I feel like is the best way to do it like I don't want to lure you to drinks and then he shows up that's like creepy and weird no and she was like yeah I'm down just like what does he look like and like a few questions and then I want to say she just I don't even remember if we got drinks or maybe she just came over one time but we ended up hooking up with her a few times oh wow and honestly I thought it

was fun just to watch them have sex like I was really into that you just have to have really clear boundaries in place and communication yeah like even for this guy like I wasn't super attached to him yeah and that's why I decided to do it with him whereas if I was doing it with someone I was deeply in love with for me personally that wouldn't work I would feel jealous and like a whole like list of feelings that I don't want to feel yeah it's hard because when I had it I was with someone that I was like quote unquote in a relationship with but like I knew this is like such a fuck boy and like this isn't gonna last there's such a difference between fantasizing about it and talking about it and then actually doing it and once you go there sometimes it's hard to come back like even with that couple

that i used to hook up with like i do think it fucked their relationship maybe in theory she was down with it but once it actually happened she was like i can't believe like you were into her you did this to her while i was watching it made me feel insecure and like they just couldn't get past it do you know if they ever had a guy in the come in they never had a guy I've never had a threesome with two guys but I will say one of the things that I did that for anyone listening who wants to have a threesome I told my guy last summer and I was really straight up I was like I want to facilitate it so I don't want you to have her number I don't want you to have her number. I don't want you to text her. I don't want you to hook up with her one-on-one. That's my boundary.

I want someone random or we have this fun night and then she leaves. And if we want to have another one, we can talk about that. But I don't want to feel like there's any competition with this girl. That's where it's just if you're going to do it, I agree with you. I think setting up boundaries and also, yeah, I think that's where it's just if you're going to do it i agree with you i think setting up boundaries and also yeah i think that's a really good idea for you to have her information and like there's no need for them to communicate outside of those moments but there's very like pea-sized brain men going on or like you know what i mean yeah the energy of like oh well i've

already fucked her so what difference does it make right and I'm like no there is a huge difference I've had a couple threesome just with like close honestly close girlfriends of mine really where I had one threesome with this guy that I had used I used to hook up with we hadn't hooked up for like a year and then my girlfriend came to me and she was like I want to have a threesome like I feel really comfortable with you and I was like I'm down and we had we just called we went out to dinner and we texted that guy and I was like do you want to fuck us and we did it did you worry that that would affect your friendship at all it hasn't I've done it a few times and it hasn't because I feel like it there is obviously you have to be able to turn it off yeah like once again like okay we're in this space we're having this threesome but it's not that every time i come

over now or when i see you for brunch that i'm like trying to fuck you right yeah you just have to have a like mutual respect and also talk about like okay are we going to use the condoms like for the guy that i was sleeping with last summer it was like we were sleeping together not using a condom so when she would have sex with him they would put on a condom and then we make sure to take it off when we were having sex just so you're not like swapping those bodily fluids i agree with you i think definitely make sure you're protected because that you don't need that be safe be safe can you describe an instance where a friend fucked you over yes I had this friend that I was friends with years ago actually before I think I even started my website okay and I had met her on

Instagram and I was going through like a really rough patch in my personal life I've had a lot of ins like ebbs and flows with like depression or depressive episodes or anxious episodes. And I flew down to Miami and we met in Miami and we started hanging out. And then she started dating like an A-list celebrity. And she came back to New York or she flew to New York and she was like, Hey, I can't live with my new boyfriend. So can I sleep at your apartment? And I was like,

sure. So she moves into my apartment she fully moves into my place and like shows up with like all these suitcases and so we shared a bed we literally shared my bedroom okay and like it was nice to have a best friend like 24 7 honestly like we had a great time and like we got so so close and she was dating this like a list guy and I kept telling her like listen I'm so happy to help you out I could help you find a new apartment like I do really care about you but I was living with my brother at the time and I was like I can't just have someone like living in my space not paying rent like that's just not cool and it's

creating a weird dynamic in our relationship so mature I am about to go back to New York and I want to say like the week before I went back she was like I'm gonna go to Hawaii with my boyfriend he has a house in Hawaii so she was like I'm not gonna bring you but I'm gonna bring this girl and it was like this very passive aggressive text and I remember reading it I was super young at the time like 19 and I was offended I was like dude you've been living in my house like what what's going on with you and I think she sent me just an aggressive text being like I don't want to be friends with you like she dumps me as a friend and you don't know why and I don't know why I think she was just feeling like

competitive or just getting to a point where she like was ready to push me away and i think that's a pattern in her life okay fast forward oh no a couple months and i get a text message from her and i had had a box of polaroids where i took photographs having sex with like a boyfriend I'd had when I was like 18 or 19 I never scanned them so he didn't have copies of them I only had hard copies of these Polaroids and they were literally of us like fucking like me sucking his dick shit like that love and she sent me photos of all of them and she blackmailed me. She went through my shit, like through my drawers, found this box of these Polaroids, took photos of them to have an arsenal of blackmail, sent them to me after our friendship bombed and said, if you ever piss me off, I'll post these

on the internet. So I walked across the street because I used to live across the street from a precinct. This was like, like oh god I was like 19 so what is this like six seven years ago so I feel like the laws really weren't keeping up with the times and they're still not today right but they told me they were like listen if she puts them online she can go to jail but until then like the threat is kind of empty but I was able to get a restraining order and I got a restraining order and let's just say we don't talk anymore and she never posted them thank god I definitely can relate to what you're saying in terms of listen the internet is fucking all of us like nothing dies and if it if you do delete it

someone's keeping it that's like a sick fuck I had someone in my life that I knew since high school that was like really troubled, but I was friends with them and trying to see the best in them. And like we we really were close. And then I started Call Her Daddy. And this person was just very volatile. But I also will say, like, I lived in a little bit of fear with ending that relationship for so long for fear of not knowing what he would do to me and then it just ended up where like I knew that he couldn't

get a job anywhere because of his record and I basically like begged my employer at the time to give him a job and then at the end of it he like threatened me and was like if you don't meet me in this park and give me five bands also I love how he said like five bands I will exploit you I will blah blah blah and from what the themes that I'm hearing from you and what I did was I just did nothing I was like you know what I think we need to go our separate ways and I wish you the best and and so I think if anyone's getting blackmailed I feel like I love how this is not a theme that I was thinking of talking about on call her daddy today but if you anyone's getting blackmailed, I feel like I love how this is not a theme that I was thinking of talking about on Call Her Daddy today. But if you're ever getting blackmailed, I think the best response is nothing.

No, I agree. I mean, obviously with the first one and the revenge porn, like I did have to go to the police. Okay. Yes. Yes. But it was scary. I felt like this is something that's not talked about.

Like I didn't really know who to go to. Also, I was super young and I'm like, i don't know who to reach out to and be like hey i have i have naked photos of me fucking like i'm not gonna call my dad and ask for advice on that so i really felt alone and that was what was really terrifying about the situation because i think if i didn't have the confidence to go to the police i would have just tried to dealt with deal with it on my own and that's what's sad and And I feel like a lot of people tend to be in that position. That's a good point. I have had girls reach out being like,

oh my God, my ex has videos of us fucking. And he was posting it online or something. Now that I will say the laws are trying to keep up a little bit with the times. Yeah. So in a lot of states, you can get in trouble for that. But it's really fucked it's so fucked and also when you trusted someone but like my situation was really weird and specific because

she wasn't even in the photos it's not like my ex was threatening to do it it was like a random chick so that made it like much more layered of like okay she's not well in the head she's trying to spread like revenge porn and like threaten blackmail but she's not even involved in the thing so it's like a really she also got arrested from my house this is just gonna get arrested from your house this is gonna give away who it is but i have no idea for stealing a birkin it was like all over the news do you know what i'm talking about wait she stole a birkin from you no no no she stole a birkin i don't even know she says she didn't steal the birkin with her friends but i think she definitely did i was like eileen you got a birkin fuck no no from a secondhand shop in new jersey because she left like a lot of paperwork at my house and the

paperwork was a bunch of women working at the shop had restraining orders on her but the cops showed up to my apartment i wasn't home but she called me crying being like i just got picked up in a police vehicle they're taking me somewhere i don't know and i believe they took her to like the jurisdiction in jersey across the bridge and you were like god bless no i was like i don't know i was friends with her at that time so i was just very confused i was like um why are you getting arrested how did they find you why are they at my apartment am i gonna get in trouble right like what did you do yeah we're switching gears here to when was the first time you went to therapy probably as a kid after my mom passed away I saw a therapist for a little bit but I don't remember it that much and I think it was very

like cold almost Freudian therapy making the decision to check yourself into McLean hospital to address your mental health was incredibly brave. That was during the pandemic? It was before the pandemic. Before the pandemic. I was in there while the pandemic started unfolding and I left in the middle of Corona. Can you walk me through that decision to go? Yes.

So I was dating a guy right before I left and I was really struggling with my mental health. Just like debilitating anxiety, not eating, not sleeping. dating a guy right before I left and I was really struggling with my mental health just like debilitating anxiety not eating not sleeping I ended up taking a break from work because I just like wasn't functioning but I was dating this guy and he had struggled with really severe mental health issues years prior and so he had been to McLean and he was kind of the only person I feel like that could really see through what I was dealing with. And so he just sat me down one day and he was like, listen, there are options available. Like I really think and like I say this to you because I care and I love you.

I really think you need to like get professional help. How did you tell your dad and like your family? Yeah. So his mom helped me find this program in New York. So I did an outpatient program at Columbia. Okay. And it was just group therapy. You would go like four days a week for a few hours. And I just felt like shit.

I was like, this is not helping me. I still had access to my phone. And I just felt like I was living alone. And I just felt like I was, I was living alone and I felt like I could go spend all day in therapy and these group therapy classes. And then I would go home and have to sit with my thoughts and my rumination. And I just felt worse. I felt horrible. Like I don't even want to be here anymore. Like I, am I going to feel like this this for forever and I asked the doctors at Columbia like I really want to go to a higher level of care and so to get into a program at McLean it's not like you just show up and knock on the door like I had to do intakes with doctors I had to

fill out like 40 pages of paperwork you have to send all your medical records like it's like a big commitment so I was just dealing Like it's like a big commitment. So I was just dealing with that for like a couple weeks while I was still doing the outpatient program. And then I showed up probably began like early November. I did a residential program at McLean. So it wasn't inpatient. Like I wasn't in a hospital gown. I wore like a suitcase of my normal clothes.

I lived in a house in a residential part of Boston. You wouldn't even be able to like you wouldn't even know driving by was part of the hospital. It just looked like a house. Can you walk me through like a day as a patient there? Yeah. So you wake up and there's probably like eight women, eight to ten at a time. And then while people are graduating, then you get a new person so there's a shift a rotation while I was there for five months you wake up you get breakfast and like you can cook your own food it's really chill just being roommates and then you're in class all day so the types of classes we would take are really teaching you like psycho education.

So like what is depression? What is anxiety? Like what are the bodily functions? What's happening to your cortisol levels, your blood pressure, all of that shit. And what can you do about it? So like if you're having a panic attack,

what's a skill that like, for example, they teach us to like throw your head into ice water, like literally dunk your head calms and slows your heart rate. Wow. And McLean is part of Harvard Medical School. So they get like some of the top research. So everything that we would learn or do is taught by like Harvard professors. And so it's honestly really cool.

And to learn like all of these things that I wasn't taught in school. So you're in class maybe for a couple hours. And then in the afternoon time, you go see a therapist twice a week. I had a therapist once a week. I saw a psychiatrist. If you're like changing meds once a week, you have to do family therapy oh it's required and then once a week I also met with a Harvard researcher who's like studying to get their PhD and they would do like very specific like if you had any obsessive compulsive tendencies they would work with you on that so you would like zoom in with your family yes Was that like the first time they had done therapy also? My, yeah, I think that's the first time my dad had ever done therapy.

I think that was my favorite part of the whole program. That was like the most life changing part. Wow. Like I think I got so much closer and more understanding with my dad in those five months than I had in my entire life. I don't even know if there were certain things that needed to be resolved. It was more just explaining to him like my family's not well versed in mental health. Like I don't think my parents grew up in families where that was normalized. Yeah. So they

didn't know what anxiety really is. Like obviously he's heard of it. Right. But he didn't know how to like so like the doctor could really break it down i'm like this is what it feels like to have a panic attack like some people come into the hospital thinking they're having a heart attack and we have to tell them they're actually just having a panic attack and like that it can be such physical symptoms so you didn't have a phone i didn't have a phone for five months for five months no instagram for five months no like nothing i did and was allowed to write letters to people and received honestly like hundreds of letters from my best friends like guys i used to hook up with ex-boyfriends and like on mail days where i would get those it was like

the best christmas of my entire life and i have them sitting in a box in my apartment in New York and like whenever I'm sad I'll like go through them and I'm like this is so special like it's not existing on a phone where like it's deleted or next time I get a new phone I lose it like I have these tangible things I can sit down and read and be like I have a lot of support and people and genuine relationships taking five months off is so interesting to me. That was horrible. Were you so stressed? One of the things I really struggled with while I was at McLean was,

yeah, am I fucking over my career? Everything that I've built, is it going to wash away? You know, I'm going to come back. And it's just this idea that people's lives are moving on without you and this idea that time moves it doesn't stop for anyone and I think that was the blessing of COVID is I got out and the whole world was on pause so I felt like holy shit okay everyone's kind of feeling what I've been feeling for the past five months did you ever feel like I need to get the fuck out of here like did

you ever want to many times yeah I talk about it really positively because overall it was a great experience but there were days where I was like literally get me the fuck out of here I don't need to be here I'm not as sick as some of the other people like a lot of comparison but what kept you there though like you could have left right uh yeah you have to stay two months minimum like you kind of sign your life away a little bit yeah I mean I guess I could like break some of the rules and get kicked out and that happens you're like I need to leave quickly I mean I was literally living in a mental hospital like I have some of the most insane stories I'm I think I'm the only person who brought a vibrator I was like I'm gonna be here for a couple months like i'm gonna bring a vibrator right but we were allowed to go to like

a public gym like you go to the gym every day like you go to like what do you you can't go to dinners obviously no but like you can go to the store so we would go to like a normal grocery store twice a week and then like whole foods or trader joe's on the weekend and yeah it was such a weird experience i was never in like a typical college like i didn't go to a sorority or i wasn't in a sorority so it kind of felt like i was in a sorority of like cuckoo people like i had the best five months did you make sometimes it sucked ass because also if you fight with someone you have to come downstairs and like you sit in a group therapy and you have to talk it out I mean people are just like hypersensitive and dealing with a lot so

I don't know just even if you like look at someone a certain way like they could pop off on you yeah these are people who are are having problems in their day-to-day life but yeah you have to be sober you have to get drug tested twice a week wow um like that's really enforced were you like given like a diagnosis yeah yeah it's people mostly in the program have like different personality disorders okay um or like anxiety depression but like most disorders are comorbid how it was explained to me is like someone who just has like borderline or is just has an obsessive compulsive personality disorder that's like a unicorn like a lot of the time they they exist with something else so someone who has

borderline is probably narcissistic too and like these are people who are going to this program because their lives are not like, they're not able to function. So they can't hold down a job or their relationships are failing. And so they're going there kind of as like a last hope or they're very suicidal or they've been in and out of psychiatric holds for years. And this is kind of like their last stop were you put on medication like how did i was on medication before i went so i'm on lexapro but a really low dose and i take it

for like obsessive thoughts and anxiety and i had a really good reaction to it so i'm just on a low dose and it has like changed my life because i know people will write in being like it's affecting my sex life so that's a big thing I mean that's really normal advice when I was on a higher dose I felt really numbed out and didn't want to have sex now that I'm on a lower one and I think it took me five months working with doctors to be able to give me different skills so I wasn't relying on the medication got it before I felt like I was just relying on this pill taking this pill every morning yeah so I think working with your doctor to come up with like what are tools in my interpersonal relationships in my day-to-day life that can help me and like it just takes me a little bit longer to orgasm now I have to

have more foreplay like there's a very specific things I can do to enjoy sex more and being open with partners that's huge like I've told ever since I started Lexapro like I've told the people I've hooked up with like hey I'm on this medication it takes me a lot longer to orgasm and sometimes I can't yeah but honestly like my mental health is more of a priority to me than my sex life because I want to be like happy and want to be alive and not be like not functioning like no sex no career nothing is worth that to me hello daddy gang it's your father I hope you guys enjoyed that episode I felt like it was a great conversation um and I really had a great time getting to know Aileen I may go on her podcast at some point who knows but the thing is is that we actually recorded for two and a half hours so I

have a fat chunk of content that I didn't put into this episode. If you guys enjoyed me having Eileen on, let me know and I may release more in a mini episode. We discuss a lot that gets into business, like she discusses her business, I discuss my business. And if you guys are interested in hearing about that stuff um and also just a lot more fucking topics that i was like holy shit this is a lot to digest in one sitting so let me know if you guys enjoyed this but daddy gang that is it for this week's fucking episode daddy gang you know the motherfucking drill i will see you fuckers next Wednesday.