Call Her Daddy - Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

This week, Father Cooper is joined by Emma Chamberlain for her first official in person sit down interview. The pair discuss Emma’s high school days and cover everything from being an only child, her parents divorce, and ultimately her decision to drop out and pursue Youtube full time (OH and they also discuss the classic high school dick pic). Alex and Emma open up and reflect on the fears associated with being a content creator... Who am I outside of the content I post? Is there any room for mistake? Can I do this forever? In response to all of this, Alex then asks Emma, “Have you ever considered just quitting?”. Daddy Gang, enjoy part one of this two part interview with Emma Chamberlain.

What is up daddy gang it is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. Are we ready? When is the last time you did an interview? Oh my god not ever face to face. I don't think I've ever done an interview face to face. Okay well let's start. Emma Chamberlain. Hi Alex Coopy. Welcome to call Call Her Daddy. Koopie, oh my God, we're on like nickname terms. Emma, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you so much. So my first question for you is you don't do interviews. Yeah.

Why are you here? Okay, well number one, Alex. Yes. I'm a big fan. Like I've been a big fan of you forever. I don't know how, like I wish I knew my discovery story of you. The clock clock.

Honestly. You're like don't, don't drag me like that. Let me tell you, like I found you when things were very sexual and I learned a lot. Wow. That makes me so happy. Yeah, so like that's how I found you. I think I was really just like looking for advice

on how to be crazy. But then like in turn, I fell in love with you. Oh my God. So we're just this is a big love fest. It's such a love story. We're about to just show how we're in love with each other. I know. Quickly to give people context that are listening of our story, I was thinking about this the

other day. So Emma and I were represented by the same agency. And this was right when I started the show, the single father era of taking the show on by myself. And I was starting to have guests on. And I remember my agent was like, do you want to meet with Emma Chamberlain? And I'm like, absolutely, sure. We get on Zoom and we Zoomed for like an hour and a half and we wouldn't shut the fuck up.

And we won't talk about what we were talking about because it was like everything. Our publicist just kept being like, this is off the record. This is off the record. This is off the record. Emma, don't tell her that. I'm like, I'm not gonna go say anything. But so we just start talking, but it was a weird moment

because I think my brand was still very sexual. So we said we were gonna potentially have a collaboration and you were gonna come on. It never ended up happening, it just wasn't the right time. Then the next time we saw each other was New York Fashion Week. I think that that's what really, I was like, I don't even care what we talk about,

I need to do this, Because we just clicked so well, and we just talked about so much random shit. And we just clicked so well. Yeah, it was kind of funny, because we were, to give people again context, it was a 10 person dinner party, and Emma and I are in the corner while I was eating bread. You weren't, because you were about to go to the Met Gala.

I'm getting a facial done and getting my toes done while I'm at the table. And we just were talking by ourselves the entire time. It was just about life and the industry and how it's affected us. And it was like, I think that was when we're like, maybe we are eventually now ready to sit down and just converse because both of our brands have evolved.

Absolutely. And it's time. Well, I think it was one of those things where, you know, I have been on the internet for so long that people know me as a teenager. Yes. And I'm 20. I'm about to be 21, which is still literally like a child. Like I still am like prepubescent. Like I know I'm 21, but whatever, or almost 21. But I've been really trying to grow in the public eye in a way, because I can't stay a teenager in everybody's mind forever. But I think I needed to do some of that work on my own

before I came on here and was like, let's talk about big girl stuff. You're like, so the Glock Glock? And I'm like, Emma. So the first time I tried the Glock Glock was a year ago and you guys won't believe what happened. Impeccable result. No, it's true.

Impeccable. I almost got married six times. No, that is helpful to hear you say, and we're gonna get into that, like the evolution of you, and then the evolution also of your brand, because those are two different things. And I think as creators, like in a great way, I think people have started to kind of peel back the layer

and show people on the internet what it is like to have an online persona versus what is actually who you are versus that persona. Absolutely. So, here we go. Just like I usually do in every Caller Daddy episode, we're going all the way back. Going all the way back.

Where did you grow up? So, I grew up in San Bruno, California, which is actually where YouTube headquarters is, which is ironic, a little bit of foreshadowing. I grew up with my parents. I was an only child. And when I was five, we're like already getting into my trauma.

No, when I was five, my parents got divorced and my mom moved like 20 minutes away from my dad and that was actually not a super bad experience because I was so young that I just didn't really know any better. I was definitely a really bored kid because I was an only child and like my parents were both like fully working parents and so I had a lot of time by myself and I was very bored a lot of the time which I think is good. In retrospect, I think it was good

because it made me a lot more curious, I would say, because I didn't have a lot of distractions. You know, it's the Silicon Valley. It's a big tech area and a lot of kids there are super smart and there's this crazy pressure to go to a really good college, especially Stanford is like, you know, the big school there that everybody tries to go to. And there's also a lot of wealthy families too.

And like, so a lot of people assume that if you live there, you're wealthy, but that was not the case for me and my family at all. But a lot of people there are very wealthy. There's like a very big gap, I would say, between, it's like very, very, very wealthy and then like very like lower middle class. And like definitely an in-between for sure, but not as much an in-between.

It felt like there was a very stark difference, but I, you know, my dad's an artist. So like I felt more on the, you know, lower middle class side of it which was tough but... Did you feel like your family didn't fit in? For sure. We're living in a one-bedroom apartment and all my friends at school are living in these massive mansions. It was tough socially I would say. I didn't want to have people over that's for sure. So your parents are in some of your content. They seem very chill.

How do you describe your parents? So we'll start with my dad. My dad is very open-minded and creative, but also very wise. Dad, this boy's the love of my life. And he's like, Emma, that dude's, that's the worst dude I've ever met. Like he's- You're like, really? I'm like, dad, what the fuck? Like he's like, Emma, that dude's the worst dude I've ever met. Like he's-

You're like really? I'm like, dad, what the fuck? No. Like he's incredible, dad. I'm like, but he's so hot, dad. What are you talking about? No, but he's very open-minded and very sweet and very creative and not super controlling

or super pushy or anything like that. But he also is opinionated because he has a lot of knowledge and wisdom about things. So he's not sweet and creative in the way that makes him a pushover. He'll tell me what he thinks. But he also gives me the freedom to like make the mistakes and he's always done that.

So, and he never judges me, but a very, very cool man, the coolest person I know. I mean, he paints paintings and surfs every day, and that's his job, is painting paintings and selling them. And started making YouTube videos before I did. He's very cool, right? My mom is, how do I describe my mom? She's one of the girls, you know what I mean? She's very, it's lovable.

I tell her everything. Like everything and I have no hesitation. Like she knows everything I've ever done in my whole life. So I'm very, very close with her, but we're more like sisters, I would say. Like, you know, we used to butt heads a lot when I was growing up and you know, she's picky she's very like likes to keep the house clean and like stuff things folded a certain way and she's very particular

about things like that very meticulous woman about everything that she does which is a very admirable quality but when you're growing up and you know you don't know how to fold a blanket properly like it can cause some problems absolutely but no we at the end of the day, we're very close. And even when we do fight like literal sisters, like she's always there. Yeah. I'm really lucky that, you know,

my parents have always been very, not like traditional parents. Like they're very sibling-like. Okay. And I think it's because they didn't even consider themselves to be the type to be parents ever. And so they had me because they wanted to, but they were like, we don't fit the parent mold.

So we're just gonna do it in our own way. And it's been great. I know you said like, you didn't know any different, but do you now looking back, like did your parents divorce affect you? Well you know I think in one in one way and this is no one's fault right like I'm grateful for their divorce and I'll say that before I like go in and you know it was number one what was best for them and for their happiness. Number two, like I never saw them fight. I never saw them argue. They divorced before it could ever become traumatizing

in that way for me. And that's really mature. And also they're still friends and they talk all the time. I mean, I'm really lucky in that way too. Like they get along great. Like they talk all the time and they're so supportive of one another.

So it's not been a negative thing in that way. But I will say that for one, not having a relationship to look up to when you're growing up, does become a little bit jarring when you're older and you're like, okay, I'm in my first relationship. What is this supposed to look like? I don't know, I've never seen it.

Did you wish you had had siblings? You know, no, because again, like my relationship with my parents was so close because it wasn't, there was nothing in the way of it, right, like each parent was not in the way of my relationship with the other parent. And also I didn't have a sibling in the way of my relationship with my parents. And listen, I think it could have been really fun

to have a sibling. I don't know, I'll never know, right? But I liked the friendship I was able to develop with my parents in the closeness. And I don't think I would have had that if I had a sibling. What do you remember about signing up for your first social media account?

I had two older cousins, well I have two older cousins. They're three years older than me and they were like my idols, you know, growing up. And they got Snapchat and they're like, Emma, babe, it's time to download Snapchat on the iPod Touch. And I was like, you got it, girls. Let's go.

And so I downloaded Snapchat. And we would just send each other silly stuff back and forth. Pretty soon after that, Instagram came out. And I was like, all right, here we go. So I downloaded that too. I think my cousins told me to download that too. And my first post was a picture of a mini bag of Cheez-Its with some crazy ass filter on top of it.

And I think my caption was something like, crunchy, yum. Like what the fuck? Thinking back to the first year of Instagram, we would have borders on our photos and disgusting filters. I know. Yes, you would take a picture of your shoe.

And you'd be like. Or an extension cord. Yeah. And be like, life's long. And then you're like, what. I mean, yes, you would take a picture of like your shoe or like an extension cord and be like, life's long. And then you're like, what am I saying? It was dumb shit. So weird. Like I would do anything to be able to find my old Instagram. I don't know if I would. No, I would. I'm like traumatized.

I'm like, what the fuck was I posting? Cause I was like a little older and I was like trying to be cool with the cute selfies. And those were not cute selfies. Those were scary and spooky. What did your, did your parents have any rules or guidelines when you like first started on Snapchat and Instagram or did they just kind of let you do

whatever you wanted? Honestly, they didn't care. Okay. Like really just never brought it up. Like they didn't care. Okay. Like really just never brought it up. Like they didn't care. Cause were you getting in trouble as a kid? Like were you a good kid or? I was a really good kid.

I had, because of my anxiety as a kid, I think I had a really strong conscience, which is good. You know what I mean? I never did anything bad without my parents finding out about it 24 hours later. So they knew that I would tell them. Like if I did something wrong, my conscience would force me to report it back to them. I don't know what that stems from. I don't know why that is, but I was very transparent with them. And so when it came to things like social media, they were like, she's just not a bad kid.

She's just not gonna do bad shit on there. And I didn't because I just didn't even know how to do bad stuff. I'm like, I didn't know what bad stuff was. Right. I did have a kick. That just reminded me, I had a kick that I used for like just kids at school, messaging kids at school.

I forgot. And then I would get like dick pics and kick and then I got super scared. Like so fucking scared. Was that the first time you saw a penis? Yeah. Terrifying. Oh, I was so fucking, I was like, I don't actually, I was like,

I don't actually think I am sexually attracted to anything. You're like, I do not know what I like, but I don't like that. I don't like that. And so like, who knows what's next? Isn't that so sad that like, if you get a dick pic and that's the first penis you see, like you're like not attracted to it.

Like I was terrified. It makes you scared. I was scared of penises until probably like I was 16. Okay. Like seriously, like I was like, not scared of them, but I was like, that is such a form. Like it was so alien to me. Yeah.

Cause I didn't have siblings. So it's not like I had a little brother where like, I like saw him growing up and like I saw a boy like exist. I didn't have a lot of guy friends. Like, so to me, like a penis, I was like, I can't, I don't know what that is. I get scared me. Everybody that listens to my show knows that I was obsessed with Hannah Montana growing

up. Same. Okay, because I was going to ask you, I'm like, who were you idolizing and watching when you were growing up that you were obsessed with? Well, I have to give a few from the years. Okay. My first YouTube obsession was Fred. Do you remember Fred? Oh, my iconic YouTube obsession was Fred. Do you remember Fred?

Oh my iconic. Iconic. I completely forgot about that. Well, I like got on YouTube super young too because like, you know, my dad was into YouTube. He was posting singing covers on YouTube when it first came out. And so he found out about it and was like,

Emma, this is great. And we didn't have cable. So he was like, here you go little one. You know, you don't get cable, but you do get this babe enjoy it's a pretty good trade no it was great I loved it so I got super into YouTube super young loved Fred then as I grew a little bit older it was Jonas Brothers for me in Hannah Montana. Which one was your favorite? It kind of teetered between Nick and Joe sorry Kevin honestly Kevin's Kevin's coming's, Kevin's. Kevin's coming back.

No, Kevin, he's a fucking angel. He deserved, he deserved more. He did, he did. Have you ever met them? I met, I've met Joe. I went to the Hannah Montana concert where it was like half Hannah Montana, half the Miley show. And I remember the Jonas Brothers opened for them.

And I remember my dad being like, I promise you in like a year, everyone's gonna be obsessed with these guys. And I was like, no. And then I was obsessed in a year. I was like, I love them. And then when like Nick had the diabetes thing, we were all like devastated and everyone was obsessed

and it was like invested. We were like, we will do anything to save him. Anything, like it was so dramatic. No, I know. Okay, so you had Jonas Brothers, you liked Miley. I loved Hannah Montana, Miley, all of that. Okay, I have to bring this up because it's so fucking funny.

But like when I was like 12, 13 and Vine came out, I was a huge Magcon girl. Okay, that's okay. No, it hurts. Wait, why, explain. Why does it hurt? Yeah. Well, you know, let's explain this for people it hurts. Wait, why? Explain. Why does it hurt? Yeah. Well, you know, let's explain this for people

who don't know what MagCon is. Basically, there was a group of really hot, well, okay, it's creepy to say that they're hot now that I'm 20. No, it's okay. But like at the time, I thought that they were the hottest guys I'd ever seen. They were on Vine doing absolutely nothing of substance.

Right. Right, which is fine, you know know, like that's not their fault. Right. It's like TikTok. It's exactly like TikTok. It's basic, it was like a group of like really good looking kids that were on Vine that were famous and they would like go on tours and do meet and greets

and like meet all their young girl fans and like, you know do weird shit on stage that made no sense. Cause they really, if you think about it didn't necessarily have some sort of talent except for actually Sean Mendez was in MadCon and he is like now Sean Mendez. So like, it worked out for some of them. It was like Cameron Dallas and like Nash Greer.

You know what I mean? I remember that, yes. I was obsessed with them. Like I, and they had YouTube channels and I would re-watch their videos every night before bed and I was like, one day I'll meet a MadCon boy and I'll be able to just date one of them and they'll fall in love with me.

I've always been- I think that's how a lot of people felt though. Oh, for sure. Yeah. But I will say that my crushes as a young person were all consuming. They were not cute little mini crushes. a young person were all consuming. Like they were not like cute little mini crushes. Like I was obsessed.

Feening for that. I was feening. It was weird. Like in retrospect, I don't, it's so out of character. Right. Like people would not assume that of me, but I've always been somebody that like, when I have a crush on someone, I'm not creepy.

I don't like stalk anybody, but it is all consuming for me. I get that. Cause then you go spiral down, like you watch every YouTube video, and you watch every single possible thing that you consume of them, like interviews and everything. Everything. And then you're invested in their life.

Yeah. And they don't even know who you are. Nope. Well, now they probably do. Um, let's talk high school. Yeah. You go to a private school. Yeah.

I've seen the videos, you're wearing a plaid skirt, sort of plaid. It was, I don't even fucking wanna think about it. Describe your high school. So I had an interesting experience with high school because basically I was a really academically driven student. And so I was obsessed with the idea

of going to a super prestigious college and I was willing to do anything to get there. And so when it came time to choose what high school I was going to go to, the public schools in my area were not great. And I wanted to go to that, I wanted to go to a braggy, super prestigious, impressive school.

And I was like, I can't get that if I go to these public schools. So I was like, mom and dad, I wanna go to a private school. And I went and I toured this all girls Catholic school that had a really great education. And I was like, this could actually be good. I really liked the environment when I toured the school. And I was able to get financial aid

so that I could financially go there because I would not have been able to afford it otherwise. And so there I went. I went to all girls Catholic school. And I hated it after the first year. And I was like, I made a big fucking mistake and I haven't seen a boy in a long time. And I-

Now those dick pics on kick are not- Suddenly I'm trying to fuck the hack back into my kick to see those dick pics. I'm like, guys, anything. When you, so when you started high school, that's interesting to know you did have college goals. Oh yeah. Where did you want to go?

I, my dream school was Columbia, which was like not gonna fucking happen, but like, you know, actually, I mean, I was a good student. Like, I don't know how I was a good student. Okay, why? I like just knew how to do school for whatever reason. And so I got really good grades,

like always above a 4.0 every year. Listen, I don't fucking know how it's possible. Okay, it was flex. I was like really just, and I don't think that school is a great measure of intelligence. I'll be the first one to say it. Cause I'm a fucking idiot in a lot of areas.

So like whatever, but I was good at school. So I was like, I'm gonna use this. And you know, I wanted to go into the medical field, like I wanted to be an anesthesiologist. Wow. But like, on what basis? One time I had anesthesia when I had a surgery, and the anesthesiologist,

see I can't even fucking pronounce the word of the- It's okay, no, it sounds good, that sounds good. Whatever, sounds good enough. Yeah, it is kind of a level. I dropped out of high school, so it's fine that I don't know how to pronounce it, okay? Like I didn't finish my education, pronounce the word of the- It's okay. No, it sounds good. Whatever. Sounds good enough. I dropped out of high school so it's fine that I don't know how to pronounce it. Okay? Like I didn't finish my education so you can't expect too much from me.

Like I got a surgery once and was like, oh this job seems chill. And then I looked up how much they make a year and I was like, oh this job's super chill. I'm gonna do this. This is a good chill vibe. I'm like, you have to go to school for like 11 years but like, fuck it. Eventually you'll get that check. Why not? When did you have your first kiss?

Like if you're not with boys,? When did you have your first kiss? Like if you're not with boys, like when did you have your first kiss? I had my first kiss freshman year on New Year's Eve. That's kind of cute. No. Oh. It was not cute. No.

Actually, you know, in retrospect, it was fine. Like it could have been a lot worse. Okay. But it was pretty bad. How did you meet the guy then if you were at an all-girls school? Basically, the all-girls school had a corresponding all-boys school.

Yep, classic. And so we would kind of party with the boys from the all-boys school, and they had friends that they knew from middle school that were at other co-ed schools, and then we knew other girls that went to other co-ed schools. So it kind of all like congealed.

But I think that the thing that made it possible for the boys and girls to be together was the fact that both boy and girl schools were desperate for each other. You know what I mean? Yeah. So and you know, there was like a distinct like, OK, this is the corresponding boy school. So it was like we didn't see each other every day. But at football games, we'd see each other and prom and things like that. Anyway, I actually ended up kissing a guy from like a school that was probably 30 minutes away. That like came to

a New Year's party that we were throwing the two schools. And it was extremely set up. Those are the worst. You know, it was like, oh, he's outside waiting now. Okay, but you also have to like, Can we paint a picture? Like I was a super late bloomer. I mean, I had like no boobs. Like I looked really young.

Like it was like, I looked super young. Yeah. I always have. I even now look kind of young. A lot of people think I look super young. Yeah. I always have. I even now look kind of young. A lot of people think I look young now. So I felt super, also I never felt like mature enough for like this type of behavior. You know what I mean?

Because mentally I felt mature enough, but physically I didn't. I felt like I didn't fit the super feminine mold, right? Where you like have like boobs and like, you know, you wear like I didn't fit the super feminine mold, right? Where you have boobs and you wear a low top and whatever, I could not participate in that. So I felt so uncomfortable when it was time to do anything with boys, because I was like, I want to.

And I mentally feel ready, but outwardly I don't feel like I look ready. And I feel insecure of my appearance, even though I know that in my brain, like, I'm ready, and that I like love boys, and in fact, I'm like quite obsessed with boys. Like, but I didn't feel like I looked that way. What were you most insecure about appearance wise?

I was super insecure about my boobs. Okay. Because, which now I'm like, I love having small boobs. Like it's the best thing ever. Like I don't care. But you know, when I was younger, I like didn't have any boobs. Like it wasn't just like, oh, they're, no, flat.

And guys in middle school used to give me a hard fucking time about that. Like calling me a door, whatever, shit like that. And which is fine, whatever, I'm friends with those kids now, I forgive. But it's good to be forgiving. But I also didn't get my period until I was 16. And I felt like I wasn't a woman without it.

You know, I was like. Right. ["Dun Dun Dance"] You start making videos at one point in high school. Yes. And when I was growing up, I was familiar with having a camera in my face because my dad is in the TV industry. Yes.

And so every single Christmas or birthday, there's cameras everywhere in my house. And so naturally I knew I was the star. And I know that's cringe. No, it's not cringe though. But back then I was like, dad, cue the cam. Here I come. I'm meant to be right here.

What do you remember about your early performances on a camera? Well, I was always really obsessed with YouTube because as I mentioned earlier, I didn't have cable. And so I watched a lot of YouTube. And when I was like in fifth grade, I tried to make a YouTube video on my iPad. Oh, I wish we could watch it.

I wish we could watch it so bad. I need to find that iPad because it has so much good shit on it. But my cousins and I were constantly, like we were constantly making little videos during family vacations, during, you know, holidays, like whatever, constantly making little videos during family vacations, during holidays, like whatever, constantly making little videos. Like there were these iMovie trailer templates

that you could use. So you could make like a movie trailer, but iMovie provided the template. So all you had to do is like film little things and then they would plug it in for you. And so we would do those all the time. So I was familiar and comfortable in that sense where my cousins and I were always obsessed.

There is a big difference between recording something and then pressing upload on that show. Like you gotta have balls to press upload. For sure. What compelled you to press upload on your first YouTube video? Well, my first YouTube video ever, I was in fifth grade and I

was like I don't care. I don't I didn't even want to like be famous like I never thought I could like get any like recognition from it. To this day I I've always like looked at fame as an impossible thing so I was like I'm not gonna become famous from this but I was like even just like a few people commenting will make me feel good. Post and then of course like nothing happened and then I deleted it like a week later. That was my very first one but then you know when I was 16 and I uploaded I honestly just I was in such a shitty spot that I was like I have nothing to lose. Like I'm so depressed, I'm so unhappy.

I want to do something that makes me feel good and YouTube has always made me feel good. So I'm just gonna pose on there. Did anyone from your high school when they saw that make fun of you or like say anything mean? Behind my back, yes, but never to my face. And I heard about people saying shit behind my back.

But it's like. Like what were they saying? They were just like, does she really think anything's gonna come of that? Which is, you know what? No, listen, fair enough. Like if I would have seen someone from my high school posting on YouTube,

number one, I would have said the same thing about them. I would have been like, really? Like what's gonna, Come on, you guys. Like, it's not easy. But on the other hand, I was even saying that to myself. It wasn't like I was posting YouTube videos being like, I'm gonna make it big one day, you know? I was posting videos like, this is just a hobby for me.

And like, even if I just get 100 subscribers, like, that's fun. Like, just a little community. And also I enjoy making the videos, I enjoy the process of it. So what happened after I pressed upload was more just like, well, at least it lives somewhere. When did you go viral?

So about, about like two or three months after I started. That's crazy. It was, you know, and it was crazy, but I also think that a big reason for that was I was uploading every fucking day. Like I was uploading every single day during the summer and by the end of the summer,

I had like something like 50 videos. And so I had such a collection already that it was easy, it didn't take as long because I was grinding. I mean, every day I was like, I need to make a video every day. And then I ended up cutting it down and I was like three days a week.

And then I cut it down two days a week. And then I cut it down one day a week. But it was like, in the beginning I started and I was like, I just want to get as good at this as I can, as quickly as fucking possible. And then when that one video did really well, I was like, it was this video where I went to the dollar store and I bought a bunch of like random shit

and did like a fake haul. Like I was kind of like kidding around doing a haul. And I was really proud of the video. And it like after two weeks, it had like half a million views or something. Or maybe it was like it had a hundred thousand views after like Yeah, and what it when that was happening what were you doing? Like we're telling your parents. What were you my parents?

My dad was like super interested He was like I think you could really do something with this actually and I was like, okay, I don't but thanks dad I was like dad Like that is like one in a trillion. Like why are we, why are we, let's not go there because I'm just gonna get disappointed you know. But he's like, I don't know Emma like I think if you really get good at this like something could come of it. When all of a sudden like so many people are watching, you're like I actually cannot comprehend this number of people. I can't comprehend the fact that all of a sudden

now I'm making money. I can't comprehend any part of this. So I'm just gonna go robot mode and just, at a certain point you stop processing it. It's a really weird thing to try to explain too because it's not like you're a singer where you're filling a stadium for a concert. So you're making these things and pressing upload

and then going to bed, and yet it's crazy to see that number, but it still doesn't fully register that, whoa, half a million people just watched that video. It feels strange. It's like a different metric in your brain. It's like you're looking at it in a different, you're not looking at it as real people, but you're also not looking at it as just a number.

There's this like weird in between way that your brain processes it. Yeah. But it's, it's kinda, I think I knew subconsciously that if I looked into it too deeply and I thought about it too deeply that I'd psych myself out, fuck myself over and ruin the whole thing.

So I was like, I'm not gonna think, I'm just gonna just tunnel vision, keep going. And like I did that up until probably the last three months. And it has been really uncomfortable when you really like wake up and realize, oh shit, this is the situation. I finally turned off my tunnel vision and it felt like everything that I'd been building

for four years was now right in front of me and I had never looked at it. You know what I mean? Yes. And we're gonna get into that because, yes. But first, why did you drop out of high school? So the summer of sophomore year, I started my YouTube channel because I was depressed

and I was like, my dad was like, you need a hobby? I said, okay. So I started my channel and by the end of the summer, I was making money and I was like, and I've never made money, you know, and I was like, oh shit, okay, this is actually pretty serious, you know, and I was loving it and people at school were like respecting me because I had, they weren't being an asshole anymore. Some people still were, but you know people were like excited for me and I was excited and junior year I was like okay I this is the year I take hard classes so I was taking like three AP classes and long story short it just was so I couldn't do

school work and YouTube but I was like obviously school work is more important So I was like, okay, I'll just drop some of my classes and take easier classes but then YouTube kept building and I was like I Already took all the like I'm just taking added shit to help me for college and I started questioning Okay, am I even gonna go to college? Anyway, now that this YouTube thing is going the way that it is I'm making an income now. I can support myself now all of a sudden by the end of the summer I was like I actually could support myself I don't it changed everything and I was like I don't think I need to be working this hard

Because I don't think I'm actually going to college anymore. I might try to Ride this out and then when this doesn't work out anymore then I can go to college even if I'm like 30 like who gives a fuck ride this out, and then when this doesn't work out anymore, then I can go to college, even if I'm like 30, like who gives a fuck, you know? And so I took one of those standardized tests and just left school. Like I kept basically dropping classes more and more until it got to a point where I was like,

I just don't need to be here. Because I'm not, number one, I'm not learning anything that is necessary. It was all stuff that was only really necessary for college I had already taken all of the classes that I needed to that were like normal high school level I was just doing added shit. What's the point of that? I was like, this is stupid. So I Was out of there. How did you tell your parents and how did they react? Honestly, it was kind of their idea. It was kind of like, it was not just my idea.

I wasn't like, mom and dad, I want to leave school. They were like, you're so miserable in school. You know, well, actually, at first we were thinking about homeschooling me. Interesting. So actually, that was the first idea. They were like, you, this structure's not working, right? And so we toyed around with the idea of homeschooling me. But then after doing more research,

we were like, okay, actually, let's just cut it. Cut it. Because, and I know that I don't recommend people drop out of school. And I think that my situation was very unique because I was fortunate enough to get all of my general high school education out of the way in the first two years.

And that's a really, again like it would have been irresponsible to leave if that had not been completed. And I always, I actually have never said that out loud, I don't think, but I know it's kind of fun to be reckless and be like, I dropped out of school, like, fuck this. But it was, it wasn't this super irrational, super irresponsible. I could have gone straight to college

from that point that I was at. Got it. You know, so like I didn't need to, it wasn't fucking me over. I completed my high school credits. Like I was done. You know what I'm saying? So how did your friends react when you told them?

Like, were you close with a lot of people in high school? Did you have a lot of friends? The first year and a half of high school, yes, but towards the end, no. I only really had one friend. And she knew everything about, she knew about how school was affecting me negatively and how I just was depressed so I couldn't be social.

And I couldn't be social. You know, and I couldn't deal with the ebbs and flows of friendship, I just didn't have that in me. And so she understood that, and she was kinda kept up to date on how things were evolving, but she, you know, she was like, she had other friends. So she was just like, peace. Everybody was just kinda like, peace. I really just disappeared one day, honestly.

If you could change one thing about that time in your life, what would it be? Nothing. I really, you know, I have a lot of moments in my life that I look back at and cringe at, and I have a lot of moments that I regret. Like for sure. And not regret, that's actually completely the wrong word. I have a lot of moments that I'm like, damn, I would do that so differently now.

But I refuse to ever even think about how I would change things because every bad experience has just made me, me. Have you ever been, had one of those moments, like a little jealous of that classic college experience you see on TikTok, people are at the frat parties? Do you ever be like, okay. Yes. Is it more about the social aspect

that you kind of wish you could partake in? I think the thing that I sometimes get a little bit upset about is like how quickly I had to grow up and it sounds so again like just so like, Emma shut the fuck up. But I don't think I realized when I left school and immediately started working how there's no leeway for me anymore. You know what I mean? There was no room for being a kid anymore.

Like it was like, okay, no, you have to get your fucking act together because you're saying that you can make a living on your own and that you're gonna make this shit work and that you're gonna make it last. And that moving to LA is a good idea and that being friends with other YouTubers is a good idea and having to do your own laundry and do your own dishes

and cook for yourself and taxes. There's so many facets of it that you're like, oh shit, I didn't realize that this came with this. By quitting school and by just going straight into being technically self-employed, I was also saying that I could handle all those other things. My parents were very helpful with the technical stuff, but emotionally, there's no way to prepare.

College is basically four years of you to be able to fake act like an adult. You don't really have much responsibility, but you are on your own. And for you, it was like, oh wait, no, you actually do have responsibility. Cause if you don't keep uploading, like you don't have a job and you didn't apply to college.

So like, where are we going? At 16 years old, you become famous on the internet. How did people start treating you differently? I would say at first, not much changed. It was really interesting because, yes, I had a following on the internet that, if you look at it, like 100,000 subscribers, that's a fuck ton of subscribers, right?

But in the grand scheme of the world, people didn't really, they're like, eh, we'll see you at a million. Like, this is, whatever. My family was very skeptical, like my outer family. They were kinda like, what is going on? And so they didn't treat me any different, but they were definitely just curious.

A lot of people were really curious, but I didn't treat me any different, but they were definitely just like curious. A lot of people were really curious, but I didn't really have any friends. So I didn't have any friends reacting to like what was happening to me. When you say you didn't have any friends, did you feel lonely? Yes, but I really wanted, once I started to, you know, turn YouTube into my job, I started to turn YouTube into my job,

I started to feel like I couldn't really relate to kids in my high school as well. And so I was like, I would still hang out with those kids. And we would have fun and that was fine, but there was a disconnect. And so I started looking to find people that were in this space that could be friends with me. And I ended up finding those friends

and that was really awesome. So like, and we didn't live near each other, but I made quite a bit of friends on the internet that were doing the same thing. And it was nice because there was a mutual understanding and also there was no weirdness. There was no questions about it. There was just like a unspoken understanding

that was very special at the time. There's always the moment when you start getting recognized in public. Yeah. When do you remember like the first time you got recognized? So I go to Maine every summer with my family on vacation and I had like 6,000 subscribers when I went

the summer of sophomore year. Like 6,000 subscribers when I went the summer of sophomore year. Like 6,000 subscribers, okay? Which to me was like, oh my God, fuck all y'all. I'm popping off. I'm popping off. Y'all don't know me anymore. I'm different now. No, but so I'm on vacation in Maine

and this girl comes up to me and like asks me for a photo. Now I had 6,000 subscribers. I thought that this was a real interaction. My grandma set that up. No! Ha ha! You're like, oh my god, you guys, I just got asked for a picture.

Your grandma? I'm already getting a big fucking head, grandma. Do not play with me like this. Holy shit. No, but it was sweet. It was sweet. That's actually so cute. It was hilarious.

So eventually though you did start to gain attention. How did you handle initially getting noticed in public and like the attention? At first, I've actually gone through phases with it. Like in the very beginning I was stoked and I was like so, I was like, this is so awesome. Like it was, you know, my dream was coming true, right? It was so fucking cool.

And it was, and then, you know, I've gone through ebbs and flows where it's made me a little anxious. Cause if I'm not in a good spot, like I'll get anxious about not being in a good spot mentally. And I'm like, is this showing? Like, I don't want, I started getting anxiety about giving these people like the best experience they could possibly have meeting me. And then that kind of got into my head. But I didn't have that

thought in the very beginning. So that came into play later. It feels like no one hates you. And I'm going to take notes right now because I'm a little bit more polarizing. Why do you think you're so lovable? I don't feel that I am. And I think that- Really? I mean, I've gone through the wringer.

Really? In what way? Well, so there's been chunks of time throughout my experience on the internet where I've been like widely disliked. You know, whether people thought I was annoying or people like, or like, it's interesting. Like there's just been periods of time

when people have just not liked me and the general conversation around me has been negative. The thing that's really interesting about it is that I noticed this just from talking to other people in this space. A lot of people they're so hyper focused on themselves as they should be more human right? So like I perceive you and I'm like you're nobody fucking hates you right? But see you because I'm not seeing people giving you shit right? Whereas like you're not seeing people give me shit.

Everybody gets shit. And so everybody, their own perception of their own career and like general likeness is not right, right? It's skewed in a negative direction for everybody individually. I look at any other personality on the internet and unless they're like genuinely, yeah, just a bad fucking person and everyone knows it,

unless that's what's going on, generally like, nobody's gonna see it except for you. Yeah, like it's almost like you, everyone ebbs and flows with hate and love if you're putting content out there. And also everyone's memory is so short on shit. It's like- People don't give a fuck.

No, they act like they do because it's fun to like get together in a group and be like, let's handle this person. But then in a week, they're like, oh my God, like you're doing this and then they love you. And it just ebbs and flows. But that is a good point to say, like, to hear from you saying like, you do get hate.

To summarize, like what do they hate you for? I mean, I would say that when I was a lot younger, I edited in a really fast-paced, flashy way, and it was kind of like, and I thought it was funny and annoying, and that's why I liked it. I think this is just funny and entertaining, and it's not serious, whatever. But some people just found that annoying and were like, why the this is just like funny and entertaining and like, it's not serious, like whatever.

But some people just found that annoying and were like, why the fuck do people wanna watch this? Which I totally get, cause that's not everybody was gonna like the style editing and my personality. I was a loud kid. I was a outgoing kid and people just thought I was annoying. So that was like one thing.

But then also I think a big part of it was just like, when you become successful, people just start getting a nitpick just about anything. Yeah. And so and I understood that. I was like I get it. Like I'm you know I'm a target and I understand that and I think some of it might have been from jealousy and some of it just might have been from like people just simply not enjoying me. And like's fair, but it doesn't make it not hurt. I can't blame people. I get the culture of the internet, but it still sucks.

It does suck. Well, it's hard because then you get all these good comments and then you see one and you're like, it sticks with you. And then it's like, wait, all these people are actually telling you how great you are and they love the content. And then you see one and then you're like, my whole day sucks.

It's always that way. Yeah. You think you can, and you might have a good moment where you're like, oh, this shit doesn't bother me, but it always comes back. Is there anything that made you almost quit? I will say, there has been a lot of times where I've almost quit.

So this is call her daddy. Yes, I have had sex Alex. There's a lot of room to get fucked over when you're being friends with people in your industry. And that's something that I really struggled with. This person's like profiting off with people in your industry. And that's something that I really struggled with. This person's like profiting off of me in some way. I don't think that they actually care about me. And these like YouTubers who are maybe more established,

I think that they knew that they could kind of push me around a little bit, not only on camera, but off. Like you are using me, I can tell, fuck you. If I went and addressed every fucking rumor, every fake blah, blah, blah, blah, blah using me, I can tell. Fuck you. If I went and addressed every fucking rumor, every fake blah blah blah blah blah about me, you know, that would be actually my full-time job. Like I just feel so out of control of the public perception of me.

I remember my ex-boyfriend, one of his friends was like, dude, like she doesn't actually like you. Like I don't think she actually likes you. Like I think she likes girls. And the psychological damage is quite... It is crazy.