Call Her Daddy - Exposing our Body Counts with Alex Cooper

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

It's episode 2 of Extra Dirty bitches! Hallie is joined by THE Father Cooper on this hungover morning to debrief their wild weekend in NYC. They recap the Unwell Hydration event, all of the NYC hot spots they conquered, how Alex got an emergency makeover, Graydon's stint in jail, Hallie being put to bed by Alex and Matt over the summer, road head, Graydon's notorious ski mask daddy, the naughty f*ck list on your phone, and TikTok's insane 'grooming' allegations. Enjoy!

You were actually drinking while I was saying. I was so having the... I was literally having the most fun of my life last night. Have you not learned anything about podcasting yet? Pull up your fucking mic. Where's your mic? We're having a little talk. Okay guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now.

We have an emergency debris situation. Hi, this is Holly from the streets of New York. Christ, I had every intention of staying in on this thing. What are we talking about? I don't know, I thought we had a bunch of notes and I didn't read a single thing. We're not. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. Hello everyone. I don't know, I got a bunch of notes and I didn't read a single thing. Welcome back to Extra Dirty.

Hello everyone. No, you're going to do an intro for this. I'm going to be like the tail end. Cause you want to intro it. I am. I don't want to drive this ship just yet. Yeah, I got you. She's still in training wheels.

I'm still drunk. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. My name is Hallie Batchelder and I had such a good time last night. I was thriving last night. You were living your best life with those bangs bouncing around. Okay, let's tell them what we did last night. Okay, what did we do last night?

So we went to a absolute rager. No, it was fun. It was fun. I got there so early. One thing about me is I will be prompt. No, the best part of the night you guys is I'm standing at the DJ booth and all of a sudden I turn around and Graydon's eight foot body is literally laid up behind the DJ booth and it wasn't like you on the ground Graydon. He's in the other room being like, oh my God, help me. He was having a good time down there.

No, he was having a ball. I kept falling into like the crevice of the table behind the table into the corner. Lord help you. I saw you. You lost it a couple of times. I had to grab you by the nipple and pull you back up from your nipple. No, I was trying to make a point to like not get that drunk last time, because I feel like every time you see me, I'm in the worst shape ever. And Matt's like, Matt said to me before I left last night,

he's like, you can go home if you want to. Your eyes are crossing. And I was like, fuck, I failed. I didn't see your eyes cross as much, but that could be because I was sitting next to you like this so I was never making direct eye contact with you. I was just looking at the side of your head. So I didn't really see your eyes.

No, you were busy. Should we talk about the tea of me literally talking to Remy about the guy that's dating an influencer that lied to everyone and said he fucked me? Wait, yeah, I forgot. We say things to each other when we're drunk and you never know what I'm talking about.

I never know what you're talking about. We just kind of nod at each other. You're always like, okay. Remy hooked up with this person and before she hooked up with him, he was saying that he fucked me. I have my list right here. Let me show you the men I fucked.

Oh my God, my list looks like a phone book. Where's my phone? Wait, I would love to see your list. Show me your list. Why is it in your email? No. No. No.

Look at this cute little list. Wait, I'm gonna cry. And guess who's not on there? Her fucking boyfriend. Wait, that's way smaller than I thought okay anyways you guys look at this list damn no no it's a definitely a football team with people on the bench do you rate them by the first time you had it or do you rate them by the good to the bad no just in

order just in order yeah look at this this. Being the whole family of people. Oh my god. They all have the same last name. And one more twins. Yeah. Anyways, yeah. So that was funny. Remy and I were laughing about that because I was like, I think that's maybe one of the most freaky behaviors. Did you have any interaction with this man? I took a fan photo with him at Montauk when I was at Surf Lodge. I'm in the Hamptons a couple years ago. If any of the daddy gangs listening to this, this is when I got kicked out of Rush Myers and almost got kicked out of Surf Lodge. What did you do? I go to Surf Lodge and there's a guy that comes up to me and like he's cute, you know, and

No, he's hot, but he's short king. Yeah, yeah, short king. And so he comes up to me. He's like, Alex, like I'm such a big fan. Can I take a selfie with you? What's his fucking last name? I want to show you this and I was like, yeah for sure Let's like daddy gang daddy gang and I was like, oh my god I love like a guy that's daddy gang with a penis should then fast forward I never think of anything again, and then he told Remy that we had sex I think that's the most disgusting thing for a man to lie about having sex with a woman. Sorry, I'm on one this morning. No, no, no. Look at the photo. Look at the photo.

Oh my God, the bleach bond silver tone. Halle is obsessed with my eras of blonde hair. It needs to be studied. To be fair, it used to be very silver, but I feel like it got me through a lot It's probably how you feel about like filler. I just like love the needle feeling not in my arms, but you do You do I couldn't get my ears pierced till I was like I could see that I could see you being like a little like dealer slip being I don't want to get my ears pierced, but I need to What else happened last night? Listen to me. You did the classic thing that is the best thing in the world

where Halle had the entire fucking club and the fucking bouncers looking for her phone. And I grab onto her and I literally am holding on, clutching onto her purse as I'm like yelling at her. And I'm like, open your fucking purse right now. Wait, Remy did that too. No, no. And also Jordan hid my phone in my purse.

She was being nice, but like she put it in there. I didn't know. No, Maria last night. I have dementia. No. What? Okay, what else? Grayden, what else happened last night?

Grayden. What? Grayden goes by fly. When you talked about this billionaire date that you went on to be some kind of- Oh yes. Wait. I kept trying to tell you about this last night. Yeah. Yeah. And you were like, what are you saying? Like you, like you couldn't hear me when you heard because you told me that this billionaire somehow knew me. He said that back in the day that you guys were like at a Halloween party and like what's his face wanted to like set you up with this guy that I went on a

date with last week. What was I wearing? Whoa. No, I feel like everyone knows like what, what you'd remember all your Halloween costumes. Like was I Snow White? Was it? Wait, I've never been Snow White. No, wait.

No, was I Little Red Riding Hood? No, like it was Halloween. You were definitely serving face, but then someone was like, wait, she talks about like all the guys she's hooked up with online. No, like it was Halloween you were definitely serving face, but then someone was like, wait, she talks about like all the guys she's hooked up with online. And he's telling me this story as I'm on this day with him and I was like, wow, who would do that?

That's so crazy. I was like, fuck. I know, but like it's safer with the older guys because they don't usually have TikTok. That's true. It's honestly strategic. So he's saying he was too afraid because I was literally like talk about men and then here you are ramping it up 10 times more. He's like, I'm like, I am your worst fucking nightmare. Actually. Okay. So tell me about the date. It went well. He looks more wholesome than I thought when you showed me a picture

of him last night. Remember me showing you remember that I do. I feel like he looks like he's from Greenwich and he shops at Polo. He is from Greenwich. He is? Yeah. And he was wearing a Polo in the picture. And he was wearing a Polo. And he has cute little spiky good hair. And he's like an uncle.

He's an uncle? Yeah. Oh my God, I'm obsessed. But he's too wholesome for me. Where did he take you? I'd break him. You would break him? He brought me to this restaurant right next to,

it's called Tushi. And did you have sex with him? No, I didn't. I was stained. You didn't. Did you guys make out? We made out in front of the whole restaurant. Is there any sexual chemistry?

Because I feel like when nice guys are too nice, it's a little like, oh. I don't know if he's too nice or too smart. There's something off, though. I feel like I'm not giving him a fair chance because. Why? He's a billionaire. I feel you can look past it.

I think he's low key like was probably a nerd in his 20s. And now he's like, super rich. And now he's cool because he's a billionaire. That's like an asset. But I feel like of all the things you've probably looked past with men, like anything with him you could get past because he's a billionaire.

Wait, did you see, have you guys seen anything on TikTok about what people are saying about us? Yeah, I actually have. No, wait, I like- I'm getting sent a lot of things that, that you're grooming me. I was like, wait, what? Like she's grooming her.

I have been grooming her since the day I met her, okay? What does that even fucking mean? You've literally been doing this without me before you met me. Yes. And now I'm just literally like helping you with production. You're just the groomer. I am literally the groomer, come one, come all.

If you want to get groomed by Alex Cooper, hit me up. Wait, no, I was actually more talking about like, there was like a financial conversation. If you wanna get groomed by Alex Cooper, hit me up. Wait, no, I was actually more talking about, like there was like a financial conversation. Did you see this? Oh. People were saying like, there's something, I saw TikTok, it was too much.

I was like too hammered and they were talking about like the Renaissance. Oh, I did, she was talking about like Jane Eyre or something, like wait. I was like, wait, what the fuck are you talking about? I think that they were a little perturbed by the conversation about your dad having money or something. They're probably broke.

Anyone that comments being like, this girl's a sug, blah, blah, blah, it's Donna Flax, you're poor. And I don't feel bad for you. Here's the thing, I don't relate to that concept because I at one point was fucking broke and so I can talk about this shit. Like I worked fucking hard.

You, shut up, but me, no I was kidding. Well no, no, it's true. Moving on, what else should we talk about? You think people think I'm grooming you? Wait, there was one video that she's like, she's trying to pull her out of like all this information. I'm like, no, that's just how we talk. Wait, she's trying to pull all this information out?

What does that mean? Like, about like sex stories and shit. What? I saw this whole like in-depth video analyzing my every word. Bitch, I literally wish we had a fucking camera on us when we were in my fucking house drinking whiskey because we literally are speaking the exact same way. If not, no, you don't remember when you gave me 17 house tour. No, you guys, I, not and I put Hallie to bed one night.

We get to my house. Hallie is literally so drunk. I'm pretty sober. I was crossed. I was so, I don't smoke, Alec. We get home and Halle's like, one more nightcap, one more nightcap. And I'm like, okay, fine, fucking shit. And Matt's like so excited.

He's like, yes, one more nightcap. The whiskey, the short glass. So I start pouring her whiskey and I make us ramen noodles. Halle was hesitant, but she took the noodles. I don't like food, but I ate the ramen. So then we ate and we brought you upstairs to the guest bedroom.

Halle was like, I don't want to go to bed yet. You were literally stomping your foot. You said, I want a house tour. I was like begging Lauren to stay up with me. I want to have a summer party. Lauren, immediately gone. So we go upstairs and Halle is like, show me your closet. She's walking around in my closet.

She's going into Mia Matt's bed. We finally get her to enter her room. We have a threesome. No. That may peg me. We get her into her room and Halle sits down on the carpet and she's like, good night. And we're like, what are you doing? She's like, I was gonna just sleep on the bathroom floor.

There's a perfectly good king-size bed waiting for her. So Matt says, sit the fuck down. She sits down on the couch and Matt proceeds to take Halle's feet and starts taking off her shoes. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Cause you don't know, I don't know where this is going. And we're like, literally shut up. We don't undress her.

But we- That's where the grooming started. And this is where the grooming started. We tuck her into bed and she went to bed. She wakes up the next day, she comes down for coffee and she asks me for a fucking house tour. I'm like, I literally took you through my whole fucking house last night, you cunt.

But that morning I woke up, I literally didn't know where I was, I was like, this doesn't look like the hotel. You should tell the fucking computer story. Yeah. Halle, did you not watch our episode of Call Her Daddy? I watched parts of it. Let's just run this back, insert clip from Call Her Daddy. Let me guess what you did.

You went up to the desktop, you pressed the space bar, you saw Alex Rie. I couldn't watch the whole episode by myself. It's kind of scary, huh? No, it's very scary. And I knew what I was talking about the whole time, so I was like, fuck. OK, wait, can we talk about how are you feeling

about having a podcast now? Did you get a good response? This is going to be your second episode. How's the response been going? I think it's been positive. I think we got some, I think shock value's what's needed here. Did you hear from the terrorist?

Which one? The man with the short story. No. I didn't know if he would reach out to you being like, please don't talk about me. Well, it's too fucking late. I'm so proud of you. I feel like you're doing such a great job. I've groomed you to success and now I can Know Wait, are you coming tonight or no? No, I am going to say oh, okay. You don't have to know. I want you to

I'm gonna be thinking about that all day No, no, I want you to. I'm gonna be thinking about that all day. No, I'm saying like, I don't want you to feel like you have to. Grayden, are you coming? But you know what I mean? Like I don't want you guys to feel like you just took. Alex has not on us to come.

I don't want you guys to feel like you're. Kind of overheating, but I have to keep up like. No, I'm over it. It's 70 degrees. I just figured out my heat yesterday. I have to take this off. Okay. We meeting Lauren's boyfriend last night was so fun.

Can I tell you something though? Yeah. People online think that it's not just something I did like a few times that it's like a service I provide. It's like people think like Lauren will call me like hi, I'm making dinner Jordan's dick sucks. Can you come Uber over? That's not what it was. It's only on holidays.

Slay. Yeah. We were still around. Specifically Memorial Day. We were. I feel like it only happens in Nantucket. Wait, where are the locations it's happened? It's just Nantucket.

See, I feel like you guys get fucking freaky on Nantucket. Well, like there's, it's only in the air. I think Nantucket's like where I've been my freakiest self Yeah, cuz it's kind of like Narnia feels like a fake land then you go back to reality and you're like Oh, like I just like drag them back to the basement of my parents home That has no windows and just like a gas bed and just let it rip wait Grayden hooked up with someone the other day get in here now. Just a quick one then get back in bed breaking news Graydon sucked. And got sucked.

No, and on the cape. Did you guys 69? No, wait, I was in my car and I was driving and he was diddling me, obviously. And I got a new car and it's like, I don't know how to work my new car, right? So I take my seatbelt off while he's diddling me. And if you take your seatbelt off in my car,

the whole fucking car turns off. Okay, I didn't know this. So mid-diddle, I'm driving. I take my seatbelt off because the seatbelt's in the way. My whole car turns off. I lose control of the steering, and my car just stops in the middle of the road. This kid's hands in my pants.

And we're looking. It was insane. It was like really dangerous. And we just look at each it was insane it was like really dangerous and we just look at each other and I was like all right that just like killed the whole entire vibe so then I had to turn the whole the car on I know how to turn the car and it was a whole thing but yeah I'm trying to remember. So who suck who first? Who's the party? We also, who decides that? A defender. You have a defender? Who decides who starts?

I don't know, bitch. Who decides who starts when you fuck? It's probably you. Who is better, you think? Me, definitely. But you've been out of commission. I know. Muscle memory.

And I feel like sometimes the first time back you really give it all you got. Oh yeah, like your life fucking depends on it. Wait, so were you in the front seat? Did you pull over? No, I was driving. Well you were not gonna get it while you were driving. Actually the first time we hooked up,

I was driving and I was sucking him off with one hand on the steering wheel This was years ago and I almost crashed my fucking car into a telephone pole when I was I used to be really crazy If you can't tell I used to be nuts. I've been to jail Did you know that have I told you that I was really drunk and I was in jail. Did you know that? Have I told you that? No, why have you been in jail? I was really drunk and I was underage. No.

Wait, I feel like you were like sassy, like, I was crazy. Fuck the police when you were young. The police chief in my hometown knew me by my first and last name. Cause I would get in so much trouble. Where did you get arrested? This place called the Xfinity Center.

In Philadelphia? No, in Mass. Was it like at a country concert or something? Cause I've almost got arrested there too. Dirk Spentley, yeah. Classic. I got fingered during that concert. Oh my God.

In the mosh. Oh my God. By the, on the grass? Yeah. In the back in the green by the trees? Yeah, like by the port-a-potties. Yes. Yeah, that's where everybody used to get fingered. Should we go? That would be crazy. So how did you get arrested? What were you doing?

Just drinking? Okay so I had a bunch of nips stuffed in my shoe like shooters like nips and then I gave the cop a fake ID and then he ran it and it like obviously was fake. So they threw me in this Lammer and then my dad never came to fucking pick me up So they put me to real jail Yeah So annoying it makes me so mad what was it like in there scary so people well they put me in a police van They took off all my clothes. I only had like my base layers on They took all my jewelry No, I wish.

Yeah, it was great. It's bad. You do not want to go to jail. Jail's not fun. Like I was in the real jail for a hot second. Like how long? Like an hour. I thought you were saying like a couple minutes. No, no, no. No, cuz my dad was taking his sweet time. How much did it take to bail you out, you think? It was like $25. It was like, yeah. Did you tell her the ski mask story? Were you? Did I?

No. I'm sorry, I can't get over the fact that Graydon just said that with one hand he was driving a vehicle and on the other side he had one eye up and do you have the thing where you're cross-eyed, right? So you can kind of look one eye up and one eye down at the day?

I can do it. No, I wasn't looking at the road at all. Crayden, pull over. That's how people die. This was when I was in high school, so obviously I'm gonna do that in high school. Obviously. You just keep one hand on this, don't do this.

You keep one hand on the steering wheel on a straight road. So then you just hold the steering wheel and you go straight. Wait, he was hot though. Yeah, he's always the hottest on Thanksgiving Eve. It's like this weird thing Yeah, people get hotter and it's every fucking Wednesday night on things the Wednesday before Thanksgiving every time sexy other than that Needs some work. Who came first? none What I know

The car my car turned off it like fucked up the whole vibe Your car turned off you turn None. What? I know. What? Cause of the car. My car turned off, it like fucked up the whole vibe. Oh and they just stopped there? Your car turned off, you turned off? Like kinda. Yeah. I turned off and my car turned off. Wait.

And why haven't you guys had sex? I don't really want to. Graydon doesn't like sex. Yeah. It's too much. I'm picky. I wish I was more picky. I don't want to go near that.

Do you have more bodies than her? No. I only have like eight. Wait. one, two, three, four. Same people. Just kidding. Any same names? I like how they like progressively got more famous. Wait.

Wait, what is the ski mask story? No, you have to Alex, the ski mask story. This is so important to society. Just like paint the picture in my head. Okay, sit back, relax, and enjoy. Okay, so once again I'm on Cape Cod, the hometown, the homeland, and I got this message from this person on this app called Grindr, which I use very cautiously because like I don't want to get killed, right? This person messages me and it said a couple things in their bio and I was like,

I just feel like I know who this person is, but he wouldn't send me a picture. He wouldn't send me a picture so I had no idea who he was. I feel like on Grindr they just show their weird, Yeah, they show a torso picture, a body picture. Why did you feel like you knew who it was? I just had this, I had this feeling. Well, he wasn't tall.

And like you, like there was only so many tall people in the cave or something. Yeah, like not as tall as me, but like tall-ish. Oh, cause Cape Cod is small? Yeah. Ish. Okay. And his picture was like a picture of like a picture frame.

Like for his picture, it wasn't his body. And I was like, I feel like I would know that picture for some reason. Anyway, so I meet up with this kid in a parking lot and I could have been brutally murdered, I'm not gonna lie. It was at like 1 a.m. and this weird part of town I don't go to, obviously.

And I'm waiting there and I look into the wood, I need to like... I look into the wood I need to like I Look in I Look into the woods. It's like a foggy night like there's fog This fucking person emerges out of the woods wearing like a matching sweatsuit and a fucking ski mask approaching my car And before he even got into my car, I knew who it was I Just knew He gets into my car. The only way he would talk is like in mumble so I couldn't recognize his voice

He was like Like Fucking speaking in tribal or something. Okay He takes out his shlong I'm not even kidding it almost hit my fucking dashboard it was huge and that's where the story ends because he couldn't get hard and then it kicked him out didn't wasn't he going back to his like girlfriend too I don't think so I hope not. Well, not my problem. In that moment when he pulls out and you see it on the dash, are you like... It's like it goes out my window on the other side.

When Godzilla enters the picture, are you like... and what do you say? You try to like jack him off? Do you touch him at all? I was like, it's gonna be a long night You know, I was putting my whole I was putting my whole back into it. That's the worst Shaking it I'm like what's going on? No, literally and then how did he leave like he just literally left in silence I kicked him out and then I'm sure he did like a mumble

and was like, bye. Did you ever see this man again? No, but he messaged me again last week, he wants more. On the same app? Yeah. You have to do it. I will. No, you have to reply and be like, bring the ski mask.

Like for old time's sake. See, I think I would like that. No, I told him I know who like, bring the ski mask. For old times sake. See, I think I would like that. No, I told him I know who he is. What did he say? He was like, oh fuck or something. But I was like, you're a fucking idiot. Right, and like who cares? Yeah.

Why is he wearing a ski mask? Cause he's straight. Oh, he is straight. Yeah. So does he have a girlfriend? I think you said that like, oh, I have to get back to my girlfriend anyways. I don't like really know.

I've never seen him in person. Like I don't really know his life it's funny because like Raiden will go on Grindr on Nantucket and we'll like walk into crew and you'll be like it's like a bunch of like married couples and their families and you'll be like he's on Grindr he's on Grindr yeah it's fucking insane. None of them are hot. It's just sad. Like it's 2024, just come out. I wish they could be like themselves. Yeah. I mean, I don't really care, but.

Um. Um. It's not my problem. You know? But none of them that are like that hot. Okay, great. And I'm really sorry that that happened to you. Do you feel used?

The word. Do I feel used? What? Do I feel used? No. I'm big strong boy. Are you hungover? Yeah, but I'm kind of drunk now from this Bloody Mary. Wait, I feel great now. I feel so good. Should we go out?

It's literally 11 in the morning. Yeah, wait. Wait, so you're coming tonight? Mm-hmm. What are you gonna wear? Wait, what is the plan tonight? You guys, I have no idea. The plan was we're gonna have a cocktail hour.

I just thought it would be nice to keep it going. I'm like, I wanna keep celebrating you. Did you like my speech last night? I love you so much. You don't understand. I wanted to have a little cocktail hour with us to just keep drinking. Is it just us tonight?

The three of us. I imagine. I rented out a whole? The three of us. I imagine. I rented out a whole- Matt stay home. Matt stay home. No, I think it's gonna just be like everyone like kind of similar to last night-ish. No, it's at a good restaurant too.

It is? Yeah. Where is it? You don't know where it is. I have literally no idea where we're going. It's at St. Theo's. Have you been there before? Never been there in my life.

It's great Italian. I think we just gotta like start drinking early. Wait, I love when you're like this. Maybe we'll go out again. Where do you guys go when we go out? I've only been to, I've only been out here to Little Sister twice, that's it. That guy on my west. You've definitely been at Little Sister. You know, the one and only time I was at Little Sister is when, see this hockey player that I had like on and off talk to in college. So I'm there and I see him and I knew he had a girlfriend, but I see on and off talk to in college, so I'm there and I see him, and I knew he had a girlfriend,

but I see him and we kind of knew each other from college, so I still went up to him, I'm not trying to fuck him, but then the rest of the night he was trying to fuck, and I always thought he was so hot and I only had sucked his dick. It was the first curved penis that I did the gluck gluck on and I really learned a lot from it. It's like 90 degrees.

It literally was so huge and then at the top more. But like kind of the whole- And then down or up? To the side. Down would be crazy. Oh. It depends what way you're looking at it. No.

It kind of is like that straw. Like that. Yeah, what is that? That's to the side or is that up? That's down. That's down? Well, it depends what way you're looking at it. Listen, I was scared to have sex with it cause I don't know how that would work. What is that? That's to the side or is that up? That's down. That's down Listen I was scared to have sex with it cuz I don't know how that would work

You would squirt you would yeah, I feel like that hit the side of my walls not my g-spot Anyways, so I'm at little sister. We're talking we're talking it slowly gets more progressively Flirty and then we go to Avenue after two people so I'm gonna use clothes. I've had sex in Avenue bathroom. Oh my God, Avenue is so good. It's just like these tight walls and everyone's just getting fucked. And so we're sitting up on the, we're sitting up, it's the end of the night. And I literally look him in the eyes and I say,

I have no interest in doing this if you actually are still with that girl. Like please. And the whole night he's been convincing me. I don't have a girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. She's so obsessed with me. I don't have a girlfriend.

So obviously I fuck. I bleed everywhere you guys guys I'm not kidding you. Yeah the dick punctured you It punctured an artery You guys I didn't realize how bad the blood was until in the morning his agent walked in and was like you have like a Body armor shoe or something he walks he walks in and he goes, oh shit, we're both laying there naked. There's blood all over the sheets. There's blood on the walls.

I feel like men don't care about that shit. It was so dark and there was blood everywhere. And then you guys, less than a month later, he was down on one knee and proposed and now they're married. Oh my God. Camera has it, she's still bleeding. I've never been the same since.

Anyways, yeah, so now he's married and I don't know about that. Cheers still bleeding. I've never been the same since. Anyways, yeah, so now he's married and I don't know, I don't know about that. Cheers to her, I hope he's not cheating. That little scummy. Here's the curved dick. Have you had a lot of curved dick? Not to the side. Wait, Grayden. That makes no sense. What does it look like? Usually when you say a dick curve, you're like It goes like this. No hold it like it's sticking out of you right now Like either this way or this way no fucking I know that way. No, I feel like it has a hook to the left or right Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like it's just a little hook. It just starts going up and then it just curves curves curves more that way Like kind of like my eyes. I'm getting scared.

Okay, wait, so where are we going tonight? We should go to Submerser. I don't know anything about New York. I love Submerser. What's Submerser? It's, you know where Mercer Kitchen used to be? It's Arteana's now and they bought out the bar underneath and it's like a club.

Good daddy's here. Regardless, we're gonna go. What are you gonna wear tonight? Or Petite Disco. Petite Disco? You've definitely heard of Petite Disco. No. Okay, we're gonna go. What are you gonna wear tonight? Or Petite Disco. Petite Disco. You've definitely heard of Petite Disco. No. Okay, so we'll go out tonight.

I'm holding you to that. Oh, I'm ready. I don't wanna get too drunk tonight. I always say that. I feel like every time you see me, I'm so fucked up around you and you're like, oh, Hallie's fucked up again. Hallie, I have the best times with you.

Okay, fine, I'll get fucked up tonight. All right, fine, fine, fine. Okay, I feel good about this. Okay, you guys, I think we just crushed this. No, nothing. This is amazing. Are you feel great in? I needed to get that off my chest. The jail part or? No, I don't care about the jail part. The dick in my mouth. Okay, bye guys. Wait, this is your show. Say something. I hate the end. I

hate the end every time. Guys, this place has great energy. Tune back in every week for this bitch. Tune in for the tits, tune in for great and sucking stories. I may be back, every time I'm in New York, I need to come on this fucking couch. No, I really think you do. It brings me back, from the VP to here. Let's fucking go Love you all. Love you all. Bye. I

Took notes on this night Because I literally had to like have other people piece it together for me It was quite the fucking night. I mean guys I am Wrapping up the weekend, obviously. I'm missing three nails. I just hopped out of the sauna. I could smell the tequila and Merlot exiting the chat. But like, honestly, the missing nails,

that's a fucking telltale sign of a good night. Also, I feel like I'm like three pounds lighter in hair extensions. Those I left on Nantucket, we'll get into that. Anyways, I feel like I'm like three pounds lighter in hair extensions. Those I left on Nantucket, we'll get into that. Anyways, where did the night begin? We went out with a good group of people. Guys, I swear we went to every fucking location in New York City.

We went out with Alex and Matt. We started with a bigger group, a solid group, a great group at this restaurant, St. Theos. We had some more dervs, we got the drinks flowing. I again promised myself that I was going to go into the night, you know, not drink that much, not embarrass myself in front of father. But alas, the eyes were crossing quickly as the night began. So we started there. And then we decided to be a good idea to go to Zero Bond.

I love Zero Bond. I honestly don't know if Alex has been there, but I want to show her Zero Bond. So we went in the back. We had more dirty martinis, but by the time we were sitting down at Zero Bond, I could feel it. I was getting fuzzy.

My eyes were definitely crossed. I had one eye looking directly in front of me and the other eye was already looking at the next location of the night. Like I woke up, went into my camera roll, I had a video of me, Alex and Liv, we were all in the bathroom, Liv had scissors. For some reason, one of us thought

it was gonna be a good idea to cut half of Alex's skirt off to make it like more micro. Honestly, it looked amazing, but I don't know who thought, who trusted us with scissors. I don't know. But anyways, we started the night there. We dropped a couple of flies, probably like the people

that actually had some logic that didn't want to continue the night because by that time we, the drinks were fucking flowing. We were cozy. We're like, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa. Then we texted our mutual, we have a mutual friend, York. We texted him and his friends. They had a table at this place called the Mulberry.

I mean, I call them the daddies. So like he had friends that were like the daddies and we like went and met up with them. The one daddy that I had actually had gone on a date with recently, but like this man is perfect to the tee. This man, he is successful. He is sexy. He is suckable.

He's all the most important things you could think of, but just I think I am the problem here and I don't wanna like kinder his soul. I feel like I would cause a ruckus in this poor sweet man's life. I mean, he's so sweet. So I go, Lauren, this guy would be perfect for you. Like, go for the billionaire daddy. And she was like, wait, why are you just giving the man you just want to date with him? And I'm like, oh, take him. There's more where that came from. There's more where that came from.

So anyways, we did that. And honestly, let me check my notes. This is sad that I have to check my notes up. Did we really do that? So I remember being at this bar, and this is a fun bar, but it's a small bar, and there's also no windows. There's no exit plan. If that place were to light on fire,

I'm not climbing out of the dungeon. That's kinda how I felt going into it. It's very underneath, it's subterranean, and it gets really fucking hot in there, and also we didn't have that much room to sit. I also didn't know if I was fucking with the music, and that can dictate my mood. I can go from a good mood to a bad mood really quickly.

I remember not jiving with, it was playing Funky Town or some shit like that. I don't know, that wasn't my jam. So we went to the next spot, we could have called it a night after the third spot or is the fourth spot. No, yeah, we went to do west, which I love. You know, I love a good do a Sunday's. If you want to find hot rich men, go to do west on a Sunday afternoon. Not me. Like I should gatekeep places like that, but I'm a real one, like, go to fucking Dewest.

Then we went there, and by that point, I think, like, my tapings were out and flapping in the wind, my hair was undone. We only have video footage. I don't have memory at that point in the night. But it was fucking fun. Like we had a good time. Like we were drinking, we were laughing, we were being silly, we were letting loose.

I don't even remember what men we were with at that point. But you know what the most sickening part of this whole situation is? I had called a black lane, which is basically like a fancier Uber, it's like a car service, to pick up me me and great and we decided like in our drunken endeavors That would be a good idea to leave at 6 a.m. And go from here to Nantucket. I made it a fucking point To have the car pick us up at 6 a.m. On the dot so we can make this 12 p.m. ferry. We get there. Our driver was like

I don't know the area like I don't want to drive too fast this guy was moving like fucking molasses which I respect because safety first but we missed the boat by four minutes I was literally waving to my friends that were on it we were like no fuck. So what did we do we went to the little diner right next to it and we got like three Bloody Marys and a lobster roll, which honestly made us feel a bit better. But the fact that we woke up so early just to miss the fucking boat sparked a flame in my soul

that I really don't even want to get into right now, but it was annoying, but whatever. And then I got to the island. We kind of got there, took a nap, and then woke up. And I was like, we're in fucking Nantuckia right now. And what did I miss? What was the only piece of thing? I left back in my apartment, my whole wallet, my purse. So not only did I have that long ass travel day going there, I had no ID to get into any single fucking bar, nothing, although I do have pull there. So I was completely fine, but I couldn't fly home. So I had to take a train, like a ferry.

There is no easy way of getting to Nantucket quickly, especially on a weekend like Christmas stroll. But you know what, it was fucking fun. And we lived, it was good. It was good night. Wait, it was good in multiple nights. It was a fun weekend. You know what I'm trying to say.

I don't even have enough time to sit and talk about that in this episode. I'll get to that in a different episode because the debauchery, like I feel like this nail that I have missing right here is probably lodged in some sailors ass. But you know what? I live to tell the story barely. Like my neck hurts and I need to call my mom but anyways what a fucking time. We crushed it. New York City so I'm like I'm like giving a speech right now anyways I love you guys that's all for

today's episode and so many kisses and this love you all