Call Her Daddy - Gwyneth Paltrow: The Ultimate Dating Roster (FBF)

Episode Date: August 1, 2025

Gwyneth Paltrow joins Call Her Daddy to reflect on past relationships and give the life advice we all need to hear. Gwyenth opens up about her engagement to Brad Pitt and discusses how she came to the... decision that she wasn’t yet ready for marriage. Speaking of her exes, Gwyneth plays a little game called “Brad or Ben” where she determines whether Brad Pitt or Ben Affleck was the better boyfriend. Who was more romantic? Who was better in bed? Gwyneth reminisces on her love story with Chris Martin and how she ultimately knew when it was time to end the marriage. Gwynth shares the wildest place she’s had sex, why she loves vibrators and chimes in on the nepo baby debate.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What is up, daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Gwyneth Paltrow, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you very much. I am so happy you're here. How is it feeling? How are the vibes? The vibes are A triple plus.
Starting point is 00:00:20 I mean, it's gorgeous. The marble table, the colors, it's very soothing. Thank you. Because I know you're very into home design yourself. How would you describe your style? I think I always like a traditional frame. So walls, fixtures, floors, I like it to feel like there's some history
Starting point is 00:00:45 and some provenance with it. I think I always gravitate towards a house where like the bones are more traditional. That's like, I always want cozy vibes. I actually designed this, the pink color in this room is the exact color that I have in my closet. And so I wanted it to feel like we were kind of at my house, but I wanted to bring a little bit of me to the studio, which is very fun.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Actually this, this wall color is very similar to our goop office wall color. Right? Yeah. You don't want like a hot pink. Like I needed to get away from the hot pink. I was like, I feel like I'm a little hot topicy. I'm a little in college still. Like I have elevated a little bit ladies give me some credit, major, but need to have it like classy but still fun. Let's talk about you though. Oh boy. So I love how, so Apple is here, your daughter,
Starting point is 00:01:32 and you guys walk in and Apple is like, Roaster, go for it. And I was like, Gwen Paltrow's coming on the show, guys, like let's keep it classy. And then Apple was like, oh, ask her everything. I'm like, oh, thank you, Apple, for letting me go in. So you're an entrepreneur, you're a mother, and you're an entrepreneur, you're a mother and you're an actress. You won an Academy Award at 26 years old. How did winning an Oscar at such a young age impact the way that you viewed and felt about
Starting point is 00:02:19 your career? Well, I guess I should start by saying like I was so driven, like I was working so hard and I didn't know exactly what I was working towards. I just wanted to be successful and to be well regarded. And I, you know, was kind of on this really fast track and it all kind of happened so quickly, which is what I think you're alluding to. And then for somebody like me who, you know, I think I was working through a lot of the harder parts of my growing up through achieving success. And once I won the Oscar, it put me into a little bit of an identity crisis. Because if you win the biggest prize,
Starting point is 00:03:07 what are you supposed to do? And where are you supposed to go? I also, it was hard. The amount of attention that you receive on a night like that in the weeks following is so disorienting and, frankly, really unhealthy. I was like, this is crazy. I don't know if I can, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:03:28 I don't know which way is up. And so I think it was a lot. And then I also, not that I would give it back or anything, like it was an amazing experience, but it kind of called a lot of things into question for me. And then I think because I hadn't done a lot of healing work yet, I was like, well, now I need to, you know, what am I going to do? Where am I going to, how am I going to continue to achieve?
Starting point is 00:03:52 Do you mind sharing like when you're referencing, like you were working towards solving things in your past? Yeah. Do you mind sharing what you're talking about? Yeah, sure. I mean, I think, you I think we all go through traumatic things in our childhood. And I think our parents, especially
Starting point is 00:04:13 my parents' generation, they had a very different orientation around parenting. It's like Apple and her brother are like, I kind of revolve around them. And hopefully not to their detriment, and her brother are like, you know, I kind of revolve around them and, and, and hopefully not to their detriment. But I think it was, I grew up in a generation where there wasn't that orientation. And I think, you know, we, we moved a lot to move with my mom when she was working, which also of course had great things. But it was, you know, it could be very,
Starting point is 00:04:46 it could feel destabilizing. And I think there were also like really high standards prescribed to me in my house. I don't even know if my parents were conscious they were doing it. But I always felt like I had to prove on some level that I was worth something, that I was lovable. And not only for my parents, but I think just from the culture that I was worth something, that I was lovable. And not only from my parents,
Starting point is 00:05:05 but I think just from the culture that I was growing up in. No, I get what you're saying. And I think that's something I've been realizing in therapy is like, of course we can look at how our parents fucked us up. I don't think there's anyone on the planet that's like, my parents were absolutely perfect. But I do think generationally,
Starting point is 00:05:24 it's also important to look at, not to give them a free pass, like my parents were absolutely perfect. But I do think generationally, it's also important to look at, not to give them a free pass, but like they don't have the tools that we now have. Like therapy wasn't even a conversation. Mental health wasn't even a conversation. So even you saying like, I don't even think they were aware of the pressure
Starting point is 00:05:37 they were putting on me. It does make sense now, especially if you are in therapy or working on yourself. Like the past generations to me, it's very apparent as to what they were lacking and how fortunate we are now to have conversations with you having with your children. When you talk about having this almost crisis of you win this Oscar, everyone's looking at you, you're this beautiful young woman. How do you think that impacted like your self-worth at the time?
Starting point is 00:06:07 I felt a real pivot on that night because I felt like up until that moment, everybody was kind of rooting for me in a way. And then when I won, it was like too much, you know, and I could feel a real turn. And I remember I was working in England a lot at the time. For some reason, I was doing all my movies in the UK. And I remember the British press being so horrible to me because I cried. And they didn't necessarily know that my grandfather was dying of cancer.
Starting point is 00:06:38 My dad, who was in the audience with me, had just had all this crazy cancer treatment. And he was really debilitated and it was just this totally overwhelming moment and you know I was 26 like I cried and people were so mean about it and I just thought like wow there's this big energy shift that's happening and I think I'm gonna have to learn to be less open hearted and much more protective of myself and filter people out better it was like this big reckoning in a way. When I think back to the 90s,
Starting point is 00:07:09 I think it's so funny that so many trends are coming back. Like Apple just walked in and just like, Mom, look, I'm wearing your shirt from the night. It's like everything is making comebacks. But the one thing that I feel like never went out of style, and I have to say it, is Brad Pitt. I have to say it. How did you meet Brad Pitt?
Starting point is 00:07:34 Because you guys were like the hottest couple. How did you meet Brad? I met Brad on the set of Seven, and I think I was only 22 years old at the time. And I had seen him in Thelma and Louise and like whatever the other movies he had been in. So obviously everyone knew he was like the most gorgeous movie star in America. And I got this little part in Seven and I was so excited to meet him and Morgan Freeman, who I had grown up adoring as an actor.
Starting point is 00:08:09 And we sort of said hi on set and it was like major, major love at first sight. It was crazy. I just got chills. The fact that you get to be like, I had love at first sight with Brad Pitt and it was mutual. OK, Gwyneth, no big fucking deal. So you eventually got engaged to Brad. How did he propose and how did you initially feel about him proposing?
Starting point is 00:08:38 Well, we went out for, we had been going out for, like, I felt like a long time. And I was like ready to get married and I was like ready. And we were in Argentina, he was filming a movie down there and I had gone down there for most of it and I was like making dinner and you know, hanging out with him. And one night we were kind of on the balcony of this house,
Starting point is 00:09:02 we were renting in this little town in Argentina. And I wish I remembered exactly what he said, but he proposed. It was fantastic. I was thrilled. Were you surprised? Or did you know this was coming? Did you guys talk about it?
Starting point is 00:09:17 We had talked about it, but I was surprised in the moment. I remember that. And how old were you at this point? I must have been 24. Oh my gosh. So I know I've read that you ended the engagement with Brad because you were like, I was too young, I was not ready to get married.
Starting point is 00:09:36 And I feel like when you are in love, I don't care what age, sometimes you can be so in it that you don't see big picture. How did you realize that you were not ready to get married? Well, I had a lot of development left to do, looking back in hindsight. In a lot of ways, I didn't really fully start to come into myself until I was 40 years old. I had such a pleasing issue. Like I didn't even really understand how to listen to my instincts and act from
Starting point is 00:10:16 that place. Like for what was right for me, I was always trying to adjudicate like what's right for everybody else. You know, being the sort of thermostat in the room, like, oh, it's getting a little uncomfortable. Let me cool it down. It's getting cold. Let me warm things up. And always sort of outsourcing that and not really giving myself the dignity of being close to myself.
Starting point is 00:10:45 And so when I look back, I think I was really a kid, really more so than a lot of 22 or 23 or 24-year-olds I would meet now. I really had not explored who I was, what was important to me, what my boundaries were, anything like that. And so I was totally heartbroken when we broke up. But it was just the right thing at that time. But it was really hard.
Starting point is 00:11:15 When you say you broke up, is that how you explained it to him? I'm too young. I can't do this. No, it was like there were a number of things that had happened. And also he was nine years older than I am, I guess he's still nine years older than me.
Starting point is 00:11:30 And so he was like far more, he knew what he wanted. He was like ready to do it. And I was kind of all over the place. And so it was really like one of those difficult things where I felt like, oh my God, I'm not, not only am I not ready, but I'm not living up to the standards again. It was a familiar refrain that I felt about myself.
Starting point is 00:11:53 When you think back to that time period, what questions do you think people should be asking themselves if they're wondering, am I ready to get married? Because I know there's a lot of young women listening that it's like, oh, maybe I am. How will I know? Do you have any advice? I think that as women, we know on such a deep level what is right for us.
Starting point is 00:12:20 And so it's really just a matter of how many layers we've put on top of that. And I do think we're socialized as women in this country to not do that. Like we don't tune in and really listen to ourselves. And so I would say the best thing is like to work on your friendship with yourself. The closer you are to yourself, then the more decisions you will make from that place and that will be the right decision. Anytime I have a deep conversation with my friend,
Starting point is 00:12:53 whether it was like she stayed in a relationship too long or I was in a toxic relationship, you always kind of know. You know. And like, I really feel like a woman's intuition is never wrong. Like when you're feeling something's off, a lot of the times we're just not acting on ending something or doing something for ourselves
Starting point is 00:13:09 because there's a layer, like you said, of something prohibiting us from making that decision, whether it's the societal issues of, we're living in this patriarchal society, and you're like, I wanna please the man, and it's been so ingrained. Whatever it is, usually, it's actually you know the truth. You just have to be in tune with yourself.
Starting point is 00:13:29 That takes a lot of time, though. Yes. And one layer of complexity I would add is that when I look back, and I think this is pretty pervasive, most of us are sort of replaying relationship, that dynamic out in our romantic life our sort of replaying relationship, that dynamic out in our romantic life that we had with our most difficult parental relationship.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Like Kerry Washington said to me the other day, there's only one letter difference between parent and partner. And, I know. Fuck, Kerry, fuck. Which I thought was a very succinct way of articulating it because that's something that I did for sure in my romantic relationships.
Starting point is 00:14:13 And some people don't do that and they're attaching in really healthy ways, but those are things to keep in the back of your mind too. Am I trying to work something out with this person that's really my own work? Because a lot of times, that means you shouldn't be with that person. You should go do your work and then find somebody that's going to really uplift you.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Because most of the time when you're in a situation with someone that you're trying to play out, your issues with your dad or your issues with your mom, you're right. Then when you actually go do the work, you wouldn't go back to that partner. You're like, wait, no, no, no, that actually doesn't work for me at all.
Starting point is 00:14:47 That's right. I'm interested to also know about Brad and then we're moving on, but like, actually let's do the whole episode about Brad. When you're, since you're in this Hollywood sphere of like, it's a pretty close knit group, how did you guys like move on? And like, I'm sure you saw each other at parties
Starting point is 00:15:04 and like had to socialize in moments. Like, was it awkward for you? And like, do you guys like move on? And like, I'm sure you saw each other at parties and like had to socialize in moments. Like, was it awkward for you? And like, do you guys, it's not awkward now obviously, but like how did you go about running into each other? Yeah, right. They always say like Hollywood is like high school with money.
Starting point is 00:15:16 It's like kind of true. Which is probably why I didn't live here for so long. I remember seeing him, this is crazy like because I was so I was like heartbroken and so upset you know and then I remember the first time I saw him I was presenting at the Academy of Wars the year after I won and I like walked out and I was like it was so cognizant of him being there and I was like, Oh my God, this is so scary and so awkward. Because he's probably like in almost front row.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Yeah, it was like right there and we hadn't talked in like a couple years. You're like, I would be like, I'm basically giving a speech to my ex. And I was like, I think I even fumbled my words. I was like, yeah. I hope that's on YouTube so I can go watch that after this. All of a sudden it's got like spike-ups. Oh my god. It was like the year after I won. Yeah. Oh my god. It was crazy. I know. He's a great guy. He's great. He's just, he's wonderful. I really like him a lot. Yeah, casual. Okay, another relationship you had was with Ben Affleck, which is like, I'm sitting here being like, you have the most stacked roster of any person
Starting point is 00:16:31 that has ever come on Call Her Daddy, Gwyneth. I'm not kidding. I'm like, no one has sat in a chair and I'm like, Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck. I'm like, tell us your tips. My actual question was this. Do you think that all of your exes have bought your vagina candle?
Starting point is 00:16:47 They want to really relive the good times. That's what it's there for. Can you imagine someone like going into Brad Pitt's house and like, is that Gwyneth's vagina candle? What the fuck? Okay, we're gonna play a game. Okay. Brad or Ben? It'll a game. Okay Brad or Ben
Starting point is 00:17:06 It'll be fun. Okay Brad Oh, I thought that was the question brother then Okay Okay. Good. Okay now overall, it's broad. Now. What are you doing? No. Oh. Ha ha. ["Dumb and Rude"] Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Who had better style? Oh my gosh. I'm going back, back in time now trying to assess wardrobes. Probably Brad. Who was more romantic? Brad. I'm like, Brad, Brad. I'm like, Brad, Brad, Brad. Who was more likely to make you laugh?
Starting point is 00:18:10 Ben. Who were you more likely to get into an argument with? Ben. Who was more high maintenance? Gosh, that's a really good question. I'm not sure I would characterize either of them as high maintenance. They were both pretty, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:29 OK, who cared more about their appearance? Oh. I'm not sure. I feel like neither of them were very vain like that. I'm not attracted to guys who are like, looking in the mirror the whole time. You need a little scruff. Like a little like.
Starting point is 00:18:49 You need a little scruff. Although Ben did have like a mirror face that he would throw at the mirror. You have to do it for us. I can't really remember, but it was sort of like, you know, like, uh. He had a funny mirror face. I think he was joking though.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Okay, okay. Who was a better kisser? I think he was joking. OK. OK. Who was a better kisser? Oh my God. Let me think. Gosh, I have to remember so far back. They were both good kissers. OK.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Who was better in bed? That's really hard. That is really hard because like Brad was like the sort of major chemistry love of your life kind of like at the time, you know? And then like Ben was like technically excellent. Holy fuck! I can't believe my daughter is listening to this. Technically excellent. Yeah. Holy fuck! I can't believe my daughter is listening to this. Technically excellent.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Yeah. Holy fuck. God bless JLo and everything she's getting over there. Oh my God. That's amazing. Okay. Last question. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:58 This is really going to cause some issues. Am I blushing? I am. Oh my gosh. Who is the better actor? Oh, wow. I mean, they're both so talented. I feel like, and Ben is a great writer and director,
Starting point is 00:20:22 but I guess I would probably have to say acting alone, Brad. Like if you think of all the really different roles he's done, I mean, Ben is great too. They're both great. They're both great. I mean, you've got great exes. Like you can't really go wrong. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:20:36 And those are just the ones you know about. Oh, well, we're gonna get to that. You can't tease me here, Gwyneth, and not expect. I was gonna ask, you know, we know a lot of your exes, but would you be willing to maybe drop a name of someone you've like even had a make out with that's A-list that like the world doesn't know about? I don't think I could say the name. Can you get a name? Don't think I could say the name. Names.
Starting point is 00:21:09 What about a little Leo action? No, never made out with Leo. Never. He tried back in the day, but he was already like, you know, he was very loose with the goods, like from when he was 19. What about Johnny Depp? Never made out with him. We did a movie together but we did not make out.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Bradley Cooper? No, I don't even know Bradley Cooper. I mean I've met him but I've never like, you know. Okay, well we're gonna have to sidebar and you're gonna have to tell me one name that I can like hold close to the chest. I'll tell you after. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:45 You also dated and married Chris Martin, one of the biggest musicians in the world. Yep. Shout out Coldplay. Love ya. Shout him out. We are gonna do a little, one last game. Okay. Fuck, marry, kill.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Broad Pit, Ben Avlec, and Chris Martin. Wow. Well, obviously I'd marry Chris Martin because he gave me my two children who are the loves of my life. So I would do that all again. Wow. But Kill is so, that's such a hardcore.
Starting point is 00:22:29 It's not actually, it's like put to the wayside. Okay. I can fuck one more time. I think we know your answer. I think Brad. Brad. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:39 And then Ben. Yeah. God bless Ben. God bless him. God bless him. It is Dunkin Donuts. Okay, what initially attracted you to Chris? So Chris and I met, it's a funny story. I was a huge Coldplay fan
Starting point is 00:22:54 when his first album Parachutes came out. And I loved it. I was doing a movie in London, again, as usual. And I kind of had the TV on in the background and they were playing at Glastonbury. And when I heard the music and I was kind of had the TV on in the background and he was playing they were playing at Glastonbury and when I heard the music and I like you know had this very powerful reaction show I was like this is incredible and I watched their whole thing and I was like this band is gonna be huge and no one
Starting point is 00:23:16 had really heard of them in America at the time I remember coming home and like telling everyone about this great band and they said you know they're gonna be playing this teeny show. I think it was maybe at the Bowery Ballroom or something. So I went with Mary, my best friend from kindergarten that I was telling you about. And because I was there, I had someone wrote in the newspaper that we were dating. We had never met. And it was I was like, what?
Starting point is 00:23:40 Like, you know, he's like five years younger than me. And I was like, please, I'm not like we're're not dating. I just went to this thing and we thought, and then, but they kept writing it all summer, all summer, all summer. And then that fall, my dad died, unfortunately, in sort of a surprising way. And my brother and I were listening to that parachutes record. I mean, not parachutes, uh, Russia blood to the head to say all the time, all the time. And I remember I had called Mary and I said like I need you
Starting point is 00:24:09 to get I need you to come to London like I can't breathe without my dad. I don't know what you know to do. And so she came over and then someone reminded me we had had tickets to go see Coldplay that night but from you know months before my dad died I was like I can't go. And she was like, Gwinnie, like, please, we can't like we have to get you out of the house and get some air, even if it's just for and it was really hard for her to because my dad was like her dad. And she's like, you've got to stop smoking cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:24:38 We've got to get out of here. And I was like, OK. And so we went and because they had been writing that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, you know, his assistant Vicky, who we still love to this day, she was like, she came and said like, oh, hi, this is so crazy. You wanna go meet your boyfriend, you know, after the show.
Starting point is 00:24:59 So we went backstage and we met and he was just so sweet. And like, I met him when he was like 25 and I had just turned 30 and he was like Tigger the tiger you know bouncing around and I really didn't even think we would go out but I don't know he called me and asked me to come to Ireland to see him and go to a show. And I was so depressed. So I remember my other friend, Henrietta, at this time saying, you know, she was like, I said, this is crazy.
Starting point is 00:25:32 This kid from Coldplay asked me to go, you know, see his concert. And like, this is nuts. Like, I'm not going. And she's like, yeah, you've gotta go. This is the first time you've smiled since your dad died. Oh my god. So I went.
Starting point is 00:25:48 How was your relationship with Chris different from all of your previous relationships? Well, there was just something, I don't know. I think there are certain things that kind of have felt preordained in my life. And like my, my children feel like to me, like the whole reason I'm on this earth. And so when I met him, there was a very deep thing there and I couldn't quite put my finger on it because it felt very different than my other relationships. And it's not so much that the relationship itself
Starting point is 00:26:26 turned out to be like healthier than my other relationships. It's just that I think I had this deep calling on some level. I knew he was gonna be the father of my kids maybe or something. Oh my God. It was very, it was a very strong feeling. Yeah. I'm interested to know too, like, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:43 you mentioned that right before you kind of met Chris, like a few weeks prior your dad had passed. Yeah, three weeks before. How did that impact, do you think, like the early days of your relationship? Yeah. I mean, I was broken. I was, my father was, you know, like, I just adored him. And he was like, you know, my teacher, my rabbi, he was like the comedian. He was like so unconditionally loving.
Starting point is 00:27:15 And he was the center of all of our, my whole family kind of centered on him. So when he died, you know, I was completely like decimated. And so I was very raw and very open. Didn't totally have my, like I couldn't see straight. I was in full, full grief. I don't know how Chris kind of dealt with me through that time. Yeah, because I'm interested. I think loss is, there's no way to describe
Starting point is 00:27:43 how you're going to grieve. And thinking about meeting Chris, falling in love, loss is there's no way to describe like how you're gonna grieve and thinking about like meeting Chris falling in love while also like deeply grieving yeah those are like very opposite emotional head spaces to be in and when you look back do you think that affected your perception of like of the relationship at all? Probably. I don't see how it couldn't have.
Starting point is 00:28:07 I was so altered and so destroyed. I can't imagine it didn't. And I can't imagine that I didn't project hope and safety and future onto him because I was in such a bad state. Yeah. So we talked about how you were engaged at one point to shout out Brad. And then you eventually, who doesn't love Brad? You love Brad.
Starting point is 00:28:34 We all love Brad. I love how it's like Brad or Ben, this is about to be a game. You're like, Brad. Wait, I didn't put the name. We all love Brad. Shout out Brad. You know, we love you.
Starting point is 00:28:46 So you got engaged and you said you weren't ready to be married. Right. You marry Chris. How did you know when it was time to end a marriage and to move on with your life? Well, it was interesting because again, like being so driven by this like feeling
Starting point is 00:29:02 of the impending children. Like I got pregnant really quickly so driven by this feeling of the impending children. I got pregnant really quickly and had our kids in pretty quick succession. So then you're sort of thrown into, I was in grief and then I had Apple and then I had Moses. And then I think you just try to make it work. Especially for me, I don't like barely, I think we have one, barely any divorce in our family. All of my best friends from elementary school,
Starting point is 00:29:41 high school, they're all married to like their college sweetheart. Like no one, I wasn't around to, like, I just felt like it was such a failure and even contemplating us not being together. And I was so worried about it for the kids and for what it said about me. And it was so hard. And then, you know, I, I really wanted something very different to what he wanted. And, and I felt very kind of lonely in the marriage in a lot of ways. And, and I just finally got to the point where I thought like, you know, I need to, I need to listen to myself.
Starting point is 00:30:26 And so, you know, it wasn't until right after I turned, you know, it was a kind of around, it was sort of like around 38 that I started to sense that the marriage wasn't going to last. And then I tried really hard for another couple of years. But, wasn't going to last. And then I tried really hard for another couple of years. But I say this all the time because it's true. You get this software upgrade when you turn 40. You just get an upgrade.
Starting point is 00:30:55 You wake up and your software is fucking upgraded. And you're like, wow, this is bizarre. I don't care what anybody thinks of me. I like myself. You click into this thing, and that happens again when you're 50, by the way. And it's so, it feels like you feel whole. And I just realized I need to not be in this.
Starting point is 00:31:21 I need something else. And it's okay if I'm alone and it's okay if I disappoint people. And it's okay if I never find anyone again. All the things that you're so worried about when you're contemplating divorce. And I chose myself. I love that and thank you for sharing because I don't even like no matter where you're at in your life, I do feel like it kind of goes back to what you said of like, we know when we're not happy, when we're not feeling it, when it's not right anymore.
Starting point is 00:31:51 It doesn't mean it wasn't right. But like, we keep growing and we keep evolving as individuals. And naturally, sometimes that means you're going to outgrow a partner or you're going to outgrow something that you initially were attracted to. And I think that's okay. And I think especially as women, it's like a very negative feeling and shameful feeling you have on yourself
Starting point is 00:32:11 if it's you the one that's having those feelings. Because I feel like we always learned like, men will leave and men will do this. But if it's you, like it has been a pretty like new concept that like, oh my God, you can leave a marriage. Like you can stand up for yourself. You can have a voice. So I appreciate you sharing that
Starting point is 00:32:27 because it is in some way inspirational to just know like you have these incredible children. You had a healthy marriage at one point and then it's like, and then it's time to move on and that's okay. It is okay. It is okay. And it's like not what you want.
Starting point is 00:32:42 And it's not when you get married, it's not what you want. And it's not when you get married, it's not what you hope for. But it's OK if it's not the right thing anymore. And for me, it really then became about, is it possible to stay a family with this person that I really love? And I wanted to minimize the impact on our children, which, of course, they're impacted. And divorce is terrible. And I know it was the impact on our children, which, of course, they're impacted and divorce
Starting point is 00:33:06 is terrible and I know it was really hard on them. But I wanted it to be as least, you know, like I wanted to try to figure out a way that Chris and I could stay like real family, which we have. The last question I have on that is like, has it gotten easier to co-parent? Like in the beginning, I can imagine it's like, any family feels it, like it's a little rockier like trying to get your footing.
Starting point is 00:33:34 And then eventually does it get to a place where like it does feel more cohesive? If you work on it, like you really have to work at it. And I think you have to choose every day to remember the good in the person, why you love them, you know, hold them with a lot of love and respect and cultivate that, especially on days that you don't feel that because you feel, you know, wronged or angry or whatever it is. And so it became a practice for me to remember all the ways in which Chris was a blessing
Starting point is 00:34:15 in my life. And there are just things about him that are so fantastic and he's so funny and he's so talented and he's goofy and we all laugh a lot. So I tried to really focus on those things and then also use the opportunity to focus on my side of the street and what I had not done well and what I could learn and the ways in which I hurt him and the ways, you know, so it was a it was a big, I think, you know, it's probably best said, like, I really milked the opportunity. I didn't, you know, it's like a divorce. It sounds weird to say it's opportunity, but I really wanted to learn as much as possible. And I wanted to grow as much as I possibly could out of it. Yeah. I kind of feel like a theme today is just like knowing
Starting point is 00:35:05 what's best for yourself. And you played a vital role in starting the Me Too movement. And you were very open about your experience. How did you decide to come forward and talk about everything? It was scary because I had grown up watching the women who had spoken out be reviled, rejected, pilloried in the town square.
Starting point is 00:35:38 And I had never seen a model where a woman could speak out and there would be repercussions that were on the man and not on the woman. And so this was a story that, you know, everybody it was like this, the worst kept secret. Not that Harvey Weinstein was raping people, but you know that he was sort of crossing boundaries and trying stuff on and we all kind of knew that was happening. And like my story had happened to 10 of my friends, you know. Um, but when I had learned the full extent of what he had done through my cooperation with the New York times and talking to Jodi and Megan who are two incredible women, incredible investigative
Starting point is 00:36:26 journalists. I just thought, you know, this is this has got to stop. And I felt like if maybe there was a chance it could impact the workplace for my daughter and her friends, like I felt really obligated to say something. I appreciate also just how open you are about your experiences and kind of speaking about like, you know, raising children now in this new era as like women that can have a voice. Like how do you talk to, I guess, both of your kids about like dating and sex and relationships? I mean, I think you have to tread lightly and let them come to you.
Starting point is 00:37:23 I remember my kids both went to this fantastic elementary school here in Los Angeles once we moved from London. And they taught them sex ed in sixth grade, which yeah, like, okay, I just, but I really was not prepared with the information that they came home with. What did they say?
Starting point is 00:37:45 I will never forget Apple and her best friend, Emily, sitting at our kitchen banquet in shock, like color drained from their face. They taught them everything, everything. Anything you're thinking, they taught like the 11, 12 year olds. Told them everything. What? I swear.
Starting point is 00:38:11 And what are they saying to you? Like, mom, we learned. Do people do this? Like it was beyond. You're like, you know what? One day you'll hear a little bit more of this uncaller her daddy apple. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:38:24 And then it will be in a more appropriate time. Well, that's what I was gonna say. Then you took over. So I didn't have to tell her anything. Holy shit. So I'm in Hawaii and I'm walking to the elevator with my boyfriend, we're staying at a resort. And I see this girl sprinting down the hallway with a bag.
Starting point is 00:38:42 And I'm like, what is going on? I think she's beelining it to me. It is a fan of mine and she hands me a Goop bag. And there was like a Goop store in this Hawaii resort. Yes, the monolani. Shout out. So I'm like, oh, thank you. She's like, I love you.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Like you've taught me so much. Like I want you to enjoy your vacation and winks at me. So I go upstairs and I open it and it's a beautiful vibrator. And I was like, Oh my god, this is incredible. And then immediately I'm like, thanks to Gwyneth, like, because I hadn't brought a vibrator on this trip and it was used and it was used again. It was great. It was a great time. It was a great time. I thought you were going to say I thought you just said like meaning you opened the
Starting point is 00:39:22 box and it was used. And I just died. And this vibrator was fully used. Fuck you. No, no, I used it on my trip. Okay, thank you. It was phenomenal. And so I'm curious to know, cause I'm a big advocate for toys and vibrators,
Starting point is 00:39:36 especially for women. We have like obviously a harder time getting off. When is the first time you used a vibrator? Wow. Probably when Sex in the City came out and Samantha was talking about everyone, I remember you would go to a bridal shower and all of a sudden there were vibrators
Starting point is 00:39:57 like as party favors. It's almost like they stopped being party favors and they need to be again because I remember in college being like, I think I need one, this is disgusting. Well, it's not. I started to use the back of my electric toothbrush because I didn't know where to get a vibrator at the time, Gwyneth.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Yeah, thanks to Goop, now we know where to go. But at the time it was like, I'll get a new toothbrush in the morning. Like this is desperate time schools for desperate measures. And there I was with a good old back of the toothbrush. I didn't use it in the morning, everyone. Don't come for me. Why do you think women are so intimidated though by vibrators?
Starting point is 00:40:35 Well this could be like a very long discussion. I mean there's such systemic shame for women historically around pleasure. And we are, to your point, we do live in a patriarchal society. The paradigms aren't there for female pleasure. And so we've been taught to be like ashamed of it, not ask for things, not ask, not say like this feels good or this doesn't feel good. And this is why at Goop we have really indexed into this area, because I really feel like it holds us back so much.
Starting point is 00:41:17 It's this one area where, and look, I'm still not comfortable talking about, this is inculcated in for decades. And it's, and I'm so happy when I see it changing in your generation and Apple's like, and this sort of freedom around the idea that women deserve pleasure. It makes me so happy to see that, but it has not always been that way.
Starting point is 00:41:40 You're so right. The shame comes from obviously as women, it's never been celebrated to like, pleasure yourself. You hear about like, men or boys when you're younger, it's like, oh, he's just touching himself. Oh, girl, it's like, stop doing that. Like, it's wrong. Just do it secretly.
Starting point is 00:41:55 So now I love though, I agree that like, it can be cute and fun and clean and not scary and veiny and too large that you're like, that's bigger than my thigh. Like what is happening? So no, I really appreciate that you have what you've done because now I have my little baby purple little like bullet vibrator in it. I use it all the time.
Starting point is 00:42:17 I don't know if that freaks you out, but. Not at all. Not in the slightest. Okay, Gwyneth, what is the craziest place that you've had sex? Um, I mean, I've never, I don't know. I've been famous for so long that like, you know, I think one time back in the day, I did it in the airplane bathroom on an overnight flight to Paris. Would you drop the name of who it was with? It wasn't anyone famous.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Okay. Isn't that terrible? It's amazing. No, I'm like, I want the tea. I'm like, oh, that won't make headlines. No, I'm just kidding. No, that's great. Okay. So when you were famous, you were having sex with normal men. Yeah. You're a woman of the people. I was, yeah, of course. How would you meet normal guys though and not be freaked out? Well, well, that's a good point. I mean, do you know I missed the whole dating app thing and all of that? I totally missed that.
Starting point is 00:43:19 One normal guy I dated when I was famous was friends with my friends growing up in New York, like that kind of thing. There were, I think I did like one or two. You're gonna tell us who that other A-lister is at some point by the end of this interview, okay? You started a wellness brand, but you did this before it was cool
Starting point is 00:43:38 to like start a wellness brand. How did you come up with the concept of Goop? Well, I think kind of circling back to where we started, by the time I had Apple, I felt like I really needed a break from acting. I had worked like nonstop for years and years and years, running, running, running. And I had her, and I had one of these moments in life.
Starting point is 00:44:12 And we had a really crazy birth. It was very dramatic. And I kind of, at some point, passed out after having a seizure. Anyway, I woke up, and I opened my eyes and these like giant blue eyes were looking right at me. We were like this and I was like, this is this is it. This is it. And Drew Barrymore actually said this to me the best where she said when she looked into her daughter, all of his eyes, she had the same thing. And then she said to all of
Starting point is 00:44:54 later, I was born the day you were born. It always makes me cry because it's true. But that's how I felt. And like I didn't I was was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't want to leave this baby. I don't want to go back to work. And luckily, I was in a position where I could take some time off with so many women in this country cannot do. And in Scandinavia, they do it in places like that. But we are not good at that. So I was very fortunate. And the longer I didn't work, the more I started to call into question, like, wait, was I doing that? Because I really loved it. Was it like, and I gave myself the space to kind of contemplate if I wanted to go back or not ended up not
Starting point is 00:45:38 doing a movie for like three years, I had my son. And then I went back a little bit to do like smaller parts and Iron Man and stuff like that. But actually never starred in a movie again since I was pregnant with Apple. Like we were in my last starring role together. And then I did something which I think I would really encourage women to do, which is at some point, stop and say, like, am I where, am I where I'm supposed to be? Am I doing what I love? Am I spending my life feeling fulfilled? And am I brave enough to give myself permission to do something different if I want to? permission to do something different if I want to. And I knew that if I started a company I would take a lot of shit for it and people like what is she doing in
Starting point is 00:46:31 there was no model for this except for the great Jane Fonda who had you know done her fitness business but also took a ton of shit for that at the time. They called into question like her seriousness as an actress like everybody likes us in one little box, you know. But I was really interested in this other space, which was really essentially like connecting people to great things that would make their lives better. And I had always been that person for my friends.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Like what temperature do I roast a chicken at? Like where can I get a bikini wax in Paris? Like, you know, and I thought, God thought, god, I love answering these questions so much. I love doing the research. I love figuring it out. Maybe I could do this as a job. And so it percolated for a long, long, long, long time.
Starting point is 00:47:18 And I got a lot of advice from different people. And that's when I thought, OK, I'll just start it as a newsletter. And then we'll see how it goes. And it was unmonetized. It was just, you know, I just was sending content out. And it stayed like that for probably five years until I had the guts to start to think around monetization and what I would do. It's amazing to hear you also explain it, because I agree with you. Like when you immediately said Jane Fonda,
Starting point is 00:47:46 as you were talking, I was thinking about Jane Fonda because I'm like, it's so crazy that as you're trying to put something together that had never been done, your first reaction, even though like you knew you wanted to do it, we immediately think like, oh my God, everyone's gonna shit on me. Like they want me to just be an actress.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Like just stay in your lane. That's right. Oh my God, everyone's gonna shit on me. They want me to just be an actress. Just stay in your lane. That's right. And it's so detrimental because that's so not the only thing that you are talented with and that also that you're interested in. And so I love this story because it shows full circle of you putting into action an idea you had
Starting point is 00:48:21 and then obviously creating something so much bigger that also is so helpful to so many women, including myself. Thank you. What is one goop product that you wish you had in your 20s that now you're suggesting to Apple and her friends and you're like, you need this? This is real because when I was in my 20s, I lay in the sun with baby oil on my face.
Starting point is 00:48:46 I never used sunscreen. Believe me, I'm paying that price now. You look great. Thank you. I'll give you my surgeons. Please. I'm just kidding. But actually, please.
Starting point is 00:49:01 So I wish that I had taken greater care of my skin earlier. And what's so great now is that we've come so far with product development and because clean beauty is a huge thing for me. Like, obviously, that's why one of the main reasons we started Goop, I was appalled at the levels of toxicity in beauty products that are largely unregulated we put all over our skin they're transdermally absorbed they mess with our endocrine systems there's like real toxicity levels and a lot of stuff that we think is safe and that just drives me crazy yeah so I saw a real white space you
Starting point is 00:49:40 know to create these products and and anyway, for the women out there now, look, I would recommend, I mean, we have this new eye cream that's coming out right now that's so incredible. And it's packed full of vitamin C. And it's got caffeine and niacinamide. And it works so well. And it's very preventative as well. So I can use it for my crow's feet and my dark circles
Starting point is 00:50:06 and Apple can use it preventatively. I love it, I need it. We brought you one. Oh, thank you, thank you. You recently also launched the Goop Sex Instagram channel. Yes. What's a conversation that you're looking forward to having on that page?
Starting point is 00:50:21 Well, again, like just to sort of traverse back over what we were saying, it's so important for women to have places that they can resources. And that's why what you do is so fantastic in terms of destigmatization, creating a space where women can explore these questions and these feelings and the normalization.
Starting point is 00:50:46 It's really beautiful. And I'm so glad that you do what you do. And we really felt like there's more to explore here in terms of questions people have, products, et cetera. So we thought we'd make a dedicated page. I learned from the Goop Sex page, like I'm like, wow, what is this? I love that.
Starting point is 00:51:09 One of my last questions is, I was just thinking about this for a second, like what do you think is a misconception about you? I think there are probably a few. I think like, maybe not as much anymore, but I think there was a misconception that me and Goop, that we together were wacky or dealing in pseudoscience, which is such bullshit.
Starting point is 00:51:42 And we're actually so rigorous around what we're talking about. And sometimes we talk about really cutting edge things, but we really label the content as that. So we're not saying this is fact, we're saying this is an emerging theory or something. So I think that's a way to keep also the power of the brand down. So? So it's like if you're threatening
Starting point is 00:52:06 the status quo, like people used to throw that at us a lot. What about personally? I think I can maybe come off or look quite cold maybe or like unapproachable I've heard, but I think I'm really opposite to that. Like I do think I'm so curious about people and I think I'm warm, but. When you walked into my house, I was like, oh my gosh, hi, we like hugged. And I was like, I felt like a part of the family when Apple walked in and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:52:34 oh, we're all going to hang. Like you, yeah, I can dispel that rumor now. I have a gift for you. Really? Well, it's kind of a, yeah, I'm gonna give it to you. It's Brad Pitt, guys. No, Brad Pitt no no I saw a comment you made okay wait I saw a comment you made on the internet okay and I wanted to gift you that what did I say oh my god I always you know me and my internet comments.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Oh, this is so good. I hope you got one for Apple too. Oh my God, I should. Love it. I saw your comment on Hailey's favorite. This is so good. I'm gonna wear this loud and proud. I truly love it. No, Gwen, thank you so much for coming on. This was
Starting point is 00:53:26 truly so fun. It wasn't it wasn't too aggressive, right? Not at all. It was you had a good time. I'll check in with her and see what Apple has to say about it. Apple we're gonna walk in is like this. No, seriously, thank you for coming on. This was so fun. Thank you for having me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. That was really fun. That was so fun. I'm dying laughing. Oh my god. You are a comedy. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:53:50 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:54:06 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

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