Call Her Daddy - Hallie Batchelder: Billionaires, Boobs & Black Cards

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

Join Alex in the studio for an unhinged conversation with Hallie Batchelder. Hallie shares some of her most chaotic stories including when she conned two guys into paying for her boob job, hooking up with her BFF’s boyfriend and the most insane sexual request she’s ever received in the bedroom. Hallie talks about how she approaches dating, still using her dad’s credit card and how she has a brown belt in karate. Enjoy!

Don't drug the team. Don't drug the team. Don't drug the team. Don Grateful Wench. Yeah. Yeah. You're like moaning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get back in your weird seat. How does that look? Better or worse? Better. Better? That or worse? Better. Better? That looks amazing.

Cheers. Just let God go with you. But like, what can I not say? You can say anything you want. Put the microphone in front of your face. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, ooh yeah.

Tonight's about to get weird. Okay, cheers. Let's do a quick little prayer. Let's do a quick little seance. Art, father, who art in Caller Daddy. Howie be thy saying a lot of bad shit tonight. Oh, oh, oh. Thy kingdom come.

I will make. I will make him come and I will not sound dumb, amen. That's not a prayer. No, yeah, that's my new religion. Do you think any of your exes will be watching tonight? Hopefully, if they have a phone. Those poor brokeies, those little weird freaks. Do you go for broke men?

Sometimes, to humble myself. Haley Batchelder, welcome to Call Her Daddy. You may be wondering why we're dressed like this, Daddy Yang. I don't know. No, we're like back. We're like, we're in New York right now. You're back to your roots. Ooh, oh my gosh.

Say, really, oh, oh, oh. Imagine if we knew each other when I was in New York. No, you would be dead. No. You wouldn't be alive. I wouldn't have my career. Yeah, I bet your funeral, and you wouldn't have your career or your husband.

I would definitely not have my husband if I knew you were in New York. We also, imagine if we knew each other when we lived in Boston. No. I wouldn't have been a bottle girl. I would have just become friends with your dad. Imagine if I had fucked your dad. Wait, that's not funny. Isn't he happily married?

No, he's happily married, but imagine if Alex Cooper was my mom. And I was like, Alex Alex what's for dinner? She's like I just signed a hundred twenty five million dollar deal Let me just preface this with anybody that's driving In the car on the way to work because they could be on their way to work They could be nursing their child right now. They could be doing something wholesome It is about seven o'clock at night in Los Angeles, California. It's so hot. No, it's so hot We got to take this shit off.

This hood. We are sweating and we're drinking martinis and I'm sitting across from Halle. Now, I discovered Halle on TikTok one day and I said, I'd like that bitch. I would like to be friends with that bitch. And then I ended up starting a company and I was like, oh, I can be friends with her

and I can work with her, which is pretty cool. And Halle is going to be launching her podcast tomorrow, Extra Dirty, episode one comes out, so cheers. You fucking did it, bitch. Should we take this shit off? Maybe not the sunglasses, but at least this. No, I'm overheating. And then let's re-comb your hair.

No, we have to. I look like George Washington III. Last time I saw you was in, oh, Los Angeles. Yes. And Matt and I were putting you to bed. Yes. That was the scariest thing ever because I was crossfaded on that fucking PJ back. Talk about that experience.

No. They were like, hey, hey, I don't know. Wiz was playing his music and I was like, okay. And you were like, yeah. And he was like, wait, have the whiskey and smoke the blunt. I don't smoke weed at all. So when I hit it, I was so paranoid. I think Sweetie thanked me for being there.

I go, you're welcome. So we're on the plane. I turn around and Halle has her hands crossed in a prayer position. And she's not moving. And she's not speaking. And she's not making eye contact with anyone. And I kept turning around being like, Holly, are you?

Well, I'm like with my boss, this girl that just signed me to the company. And like, I was just, I don't smoke at all. Like I'm not a smoker. I don't smoke weed. I don't like downers like that. I like uppers. So I was like a little confused what was going on.

I was trying to play it fucking cool. And I was supposed to go from landing from the PJ. And I was like, my plan was to Uber to LAX. And I'm like, what time is your flight? I've never heard of a flight taken off at like a steady 2.30. And Hallie's like, oh, I don't have a flight. I'm gonna get one though. And she is blazed out of her mind,

not making eye contact with anyone still. And she has glasses on and she's like, no, I'm gonna catch a flight. To which Matt says, excuse me, you're not going to LAX. You're coming home with us. I was like, gay. I mean, the thing is I woke up in your guest bed on top of the covers.

I didn't even take my clothes off, didn't even tuck in. You had gave me a whole house tour that I don't even recall. I woke up and there was like a desktop right in front of me. I clicked the name and it goes Alex Cooper desktop. And I go, fuck, no, not today. And it was like noon and I could hear you guys downstairs

making coffee and I was like calling like Lauren. I was calling all my friends being like, I don't know if I can go downstairs. This is terrible. This is like a, like this is a nightmare. No, that was fun. No, that was fun. How would you describe your personality when you're drunk

aside from the wandering eye? Creep. Fucking bitch. I feel like either I go mute, like you don't know if I'm like drunk or not, or I'm just like completely an Extra version of my extra self. I don't want to cause a scene I'm not like

Confrontational at all some people when they get drunk. They're like mean and rude and confrontational. Yeah, I'm very chill I'm also like very like a respectful human being. I feel like I'm just like down with like the vibes I'm just trying to like I don't want to cause a scene. Are you someone that is going to drunk text people? Are you drunk texter? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean like who's not like I don't know like grow up wait but I like have had a couple like drunk tech situations where I'm just like Some there's me there needs to be a child lock on my phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Once I send this nude to this guy, and it was a video, it was like a cinematic masterpiece. And I was using a bright pink fuchsia dildo, and I was absolutely plastering myself with it. Oh, how? What? Are you in your bed? Yeah, my twin bed on Nantucket.

No. Yes. You're doing this in daddy's home? And I sent it to the wrong guy. His name started with M, the other guy's name started with M, but the guy I sent it to was like this guy named Matt from like sleepaway camp when I was 14. And I was like, he had a blessed day that day. I don't fucking care.

Did you realize that when you were fucked up or did you realize it in the morning? In the morning he thumbs up'd it. He didn't fucking care. Did you realize that when you were fucked up or did you realize it in the morning? In the morning he thumbs up dead. He didn't even reply. He's, he must have known. He was like. This ain't for me. He was like, yeah. In that moment, question,

do you then decide cinematic masterpiece, should I actually now fire this off to the right person? It's too late. It was too late. The person I wanted to even fire it off to, I think, didn't deserve it. I think this random guy from Sleepaway Camp deserved it more at this point. But my drunk texts weren't even like, where you at? They were just like, like very well composed, like sexed with like an intro, three supporting arguments,

and like a closing statement. I'd be like, this is a cinematic, I don't even like, I wouldn't even regret that. I'm gonna die on this hill. Someone publish this shit. How the fuck are you like writing that shit when you're fucked up? AI, chat GBT, give it to me right now.

One, two, three. Hallie, I fucking love you. chat GBT give it to me right now one two three Hallie I fucking love you um okay where did you come from like I feel you crawled out of a hole like were your parents strict with you growing up like what was what was going on I mean they were they weren't strict at all okay I feel like they had expectations like you have to get good grades make your bed Don't get pregnant although I did once but like don't get pregnant Okay, so my parents can be strict sometimes oh, okay Like when I would throw parties in college There was one time I threw a party in college and I had all my friends over it was like for my friend's birthday

And like one of her girlfriends like threw up all over My parents carpet the cops had came so everyone was like hiding in a room. They went up to like the fourth floor, I live in like a brownstone in Boston, they went up to the fourth floor into my parents' room. This girl threw up all over like my parents' like $100,000 carpet. It was horrid.

It was a fucking crime scene. Okay. So they found out, I've never seen my dad so mad at me. I thought I was cut off for good. I thought I was cut off for good, so I signed up for seeking arrangements. No. I was being the most, I was so extra.

I was like, seeking arrangements near me and I'm done. There's no way. Holly. I never went on a date, but I signed up. You know I got chlamydia once. Let's talk about chlamydia. Wait, twice. Oh. Sorry.

Tell me about your time. I mean, I got chlamydia once. It was with an older gent who I loved. I didn't love him. I just loved how rich he was. I don't know. He was so rich. Like we'd go to like a bar and he'd be like,

what do you want to drink? And I'd be like, I want a spicy margarita. And he'd be like, okay, I'll get a spicy margarita too. And then he'd be like, how much should I tip? A thou? Should I tip a thou? He like abbreviated a thou and I was like tip a thou, yay, yay, yay.

And then he invited me to the Bahamas and his friend had a private island. It was just all the things. His name was Epstein. No, I'm just kidding, I'm sorry. This is going, this is getting weird. His name was Diddy. No!

No, stop. No, but he would like, How old was this man? He was even not old. He was like 38. How old were you at the time? 23. Oh, okay, that's good, that's good. He was weathered though.

He looked stressed out. He looked like a leather couch. Like he looked like he was stressed out at work. What was he up to? What did he do for work? He was a hedge fund owner. Owner? Wait, that's hot.

Wait, owner is on the right. Is that a thing? CEO. How did you meet him? Nance Huckett. And he didn't have children or kids? He could've. That you know of.

Could've, he got me pregnant. He got you pregnant? Yes, that was the same guy. In chlamydia, but I thought the chlamydia pill was postponing my period. So it was like double homicide. Pow, pow, pow. Ali, Ali.

What? Can I not say that? You know what? I think you fucking should say that. Cause in the state of the motherfucking union of our country, you had a right. And thank God I was able to have an abortion back then. Honestly, I can't even imagine if it wasn't an option to me.

Imagine you as a mother right now. Like right here. I'm like, hi, Father Cooper. Shh, I'm doing an interview. I have big tits, can I even breastfeed? Wait, oh, can you? I think so, it's under the muscle. I continue.

Okay, no, that's what I remember, you drunkenly in the back of the car with Matt and I on our way back, you were like, guys, I have something I really wanna talk to you about. And I'm like, oh, we're gonna talk about extra dirty, whatever, you're like, I kinda wanna go bigger. I was like. I stand by the.

You wanna go bigger? Yeah. How big are your tits? Well, they're, all right, 295 CC, high profile. And everyone thinks they're real. Everyone thinks they're real. No, like when, like, oh my God, like everyone thinks they're real, they don't like fake.

Cause the tits I had before, I gained a lot of weight, then lost a lot of weight, and then gained a lot of weight. So it kinda looks like a rock and a sock. Like picture a rock and a sock. You know, you're swinging a rock and a sock. It's like a weapon, okay? So like, I filled that up and I went conservative with the CCs, but they don't look fake enough.

If I'm going under the knife, make them look fake. You wanna go bigger. They bounce still, like fuck that. You don't want them to bounce? Not really. You want them to just be- I wanna be sat and listening to me. Wait, you went to Catholic school?

Yeah, it's the shock. That's literally makes so much sense. I went to Catholic school also, so I can say that. Oh yeah, just a lot of repression and. It's like caging a wild animal and then setting them free into college. From fifth through 12th grade, I never had class with a male.

I had slept with one guy and I had done like one line of Adderall. And I was like, I'm a freak. I'm so crazy. And then I got to college and I was like, wait, dick? That was insane. So high school, you were pretty tame. So tame. What was your first boyfriend? He was like this very religious, went to the brother's school,

all boys Catholic school, was like captain very religious, went to the brothers school, all boys Catholic school, was like captain of the hockey team. Very nice guy, very religious, massive dick. I know, I miss him. Where is he now you think? He has a girlfriend. He's like 5'7". Aren't you 5'8"? Yeah. In grass.

Five foot. But the big dick. He was a tripod, Alex. The walking tripod. If the wind gusted him right over, he wouldn't be standing right up. But that is your first experience, it's a little intimidating, no?

Well, intimidating for everyone else. Like, after him, it was like, what is this? What did I sign up for? Why did we break up? It's like, upsetting. The second guy I got with after my ex had a micro penis. Literally my pinky. What did you do when you saw it?

It wasn't a seeing it thing. It was like, is it in yet? Is it in yet? I had no idea. Like it was like this big. I swear to God. You've actually tried to have sex with a micro penis. I did have sex with a micro penis. What position worked the best? None of them. We were, I was on a bean bag and my friends like common room and college. So disgusting. We, okay. Can we talk about karate? Yeah. Kumbaya. The karate kid is here today.

Now guys, it's a fun fact that I am a brown belt in karate. I did it for nine years. I wasn't like an athlete. You weren't gonna see me in soccer, hockey, or I don't know what other sports. Track! Track! No, like none of them. I, my parents like, you should do karate. And like that's a sport you put your kids into when you're like three. And I was out popping my fucking pussy until I was probably 17. Hold on. I'm a brown belt. Did you get like bullied for this?

Hold on. I'm a brown belt. Did you get like bullied for this? Yes, so I, for a period I stopped and then I accidentally before I sweet 16 got alcohol poisoning because I was 14, I'm youngest in my grade. So it was like before I sweet 16 and I like drank too much and my parents like,

you're grounded for nine months and you have to do karate. And I was like, all right, like fuck. And I'm like 14, like guys are just starting to notice me and I have to go like fuck and I'm like 14 like guys are just starting to notice me and I have to go back and put my gi on and like a little brown bell and I'm like I'm like cool yeah yeah and like I'm like guys aren't gonna fuck with this it's true give me like a hand move what would you do you'd bow first be respectful because

You can't I can't really get into the groove. It's this I used to like do the job I used to judge Younger karate students. What I was that good. I was so good at karate. Do you use any of those moves in the bedroom? Probably I'm violent in the bedroom I'm and he has to see me coming I'm violent in the bedroom. I'm in, he has to see me coming. Hali, can we talk about your dad? Yeah. Let's talk about the finances.

Let's talk about the finances. Are you still using your dad's credit card to this day? Yeah, I mean, yeah. I mean, it's actually a sensitive topic today. I got a text this morning being like, in the group chat, my dad goes, I just canceled the JetBlue card. Good luck, love you. To my family group chat, I go, wait, what the absolute fuck?

He goes, I don't use it anymore. I'm like, but I do. What do you mean? What is the JetBlue card? Like his card, we all have an Apple Pay. But it's like Monopoly, it's like bang, bang. It's like, oh, bang. We're at dinner, bang. You know?

I could fly around the world 17 times. Yeah. So you got cut up on the jet blue. No, yeah, we're done. The black card, we're so back. The black card hates to see me coming. It's nice that it's not a sugar daddy. Like this is your actual dad.

Yeah, it's the sugar daddy minus the sugar. Do you think he'll ever cut you off? No, because he really wants us to be safe. He's big on safety. The reason why he would never disclose his credit card number for the black card, he does not let us do subway, transportation, or UberX.

I'm not kidding. He doesn't feel safe with that. He also doesn't feel safe with us having a bad haircut or bad hair or like bad clothing. He doesn't feel safe, Alex. He protects our safety. He protects our safety. I can't, I literally can't handle you. Okay, so it's all about safety. Yeah.

A new bag, safety. Yeah. New hair, safety. But also like, but also like nice interior design makes me feel safe. CB2 safety. William Sonoma safety. Revolve makes me feel safety. So let me get this right.

Do you have like a you can't spend more than this in a month or no? I'm not disrespectful. I don't abuse it. It's not like I'm going to Bergdorf and like popping my absolute pussy at Bergdorf while he's not there. Yeah. But when I'm there, we're popping our fucking pussy

at Bergdorf. But no. If you ever go too hard, what is like a reprimand from your father look like? It's an email. What? It's an email where it says purchase activity not detected or like purchase activity I wasn't there and he sends a question mark and we

just usually don't reply. Stop. I'm like trash spam. I'm like who is. Okay, let's talk about your dating life. Okay, let's talk about your dating life. Do you have an age limit? Um, diapers. Is that bad to say? What's funny is I was thinking like 85, 65. Yeah, diapers. Oh, you're talking about old man.

Yeah, an old man with diapers, hospice, diapers. Wait, what? Who are you talking about, the younger? Yes. And that's the problem we had to talk about that after. Okay, that was weird for me. Can you tell me what is the oldest you've gone on a date with?

Date. Or fact, I don't know. The oldest guy I've slept with, I don't date a lot. Okay, right, sorry, no dates. Just fuck. But the oldest guy I've slept with is probably 52. Okay, how was that? Good, for him. I sucked him sideways in fruition, he saw the sunset.

Was he single? I think. Have you ever had sex with a man and then realized he was married afterwards? Yes. How do you handle that? I mean, that's not my problem. If you are hooking up with me and you're in a relationship

and you don't disclose it, I don't see how that's my issue. It's not your issue. What is the most expensive thing a man has ever bought you aside from your father? That's a good question, actually. I mean Mean these guys This man thought he bought my tits what this is actually a really good story share with the class

So this is the guy I was seeing at the time. He was in London. I remember FaceTime me him He was horrible to me like he'd be like I'm getting with this influencer and that influencer I'm like okay, but I'm like I'm so cool with that whatever and I would be like I think I want like new tits and he was like I think I agree with that like he was horrible to me and then he goes he's like it's 6 a.m. in London I'm so fucked up I've stayed up all night like I'm gonna Vemo you 10 grand for your tits so him and his best friend Vemo me for each tit. So each think they own one tit.

But then. Wait, they Venmo'd you? Yeah, they Venmo'd me on the spot. Him and his friend? Yeah. But then my mom was like, wait, if you really want me to pay for the surgery, just get your real estate license

and I'll pay for it. So like MacGyver on the fucking keyboards, I studied so hard, I got my real estate license and like within like a week and a half, I swear to God. And these fucking dumb ass billionaires, I pocketed their money so quick. So you had to fucking later. You had 10K for your tits from them.

Yeah. Pocketed. I just paid for them. I never sold a house ever either. I fucking love that for you. No. Have you ever signed an NDA? Yeah.

Oh. Have you? Like what? Tuesday. For like a, I know you can't talk about it, but not for like business. I've never signed an NDA, I don't know. Shay said yes.

Yeah, I mean, I've signed a couple, but like for like guys I don't even think deserve them. Like YouTube guys, I'm like, be so fucking for real right now. You sign an NDA for me, babe. No. Have you fucked someone that does YouTube? Multiple.

I actually have my own channel. No. Wait, but you've never fucked David Dobrik, have you? I'm taking out my sunglasses for this. Ew! Okay. Are you fucking kidding me? My eyes are like, where am I?

Okay. Wait, my eyes are like, where am I? Okay. Wait, my eyes are like, where am I? Well, yeah, where am I? Okay, that's- Wait, you thought I fucked David Dobrik? No, no. I'm out of here.

Can we keep that in? What is the weirdest thing that someone has asked you to do in bed? You know, what is the weirdest thing? Probably the weirdest thing a guy's- anything ass related. This one guy got on all fours and he was arching his back and I was eating his ass out. I didn't love that for me. You love that for him.

Also, there was this one guy that had the extension bar. I told you about this. No, this fucked me up. Talk about it, go. No, I'm not, this is, hogtie was fucking light work. The hogtie was not even the part, this part of the story I didn't even explain.

This guy had an extension bar, and he had shit, like, I hope you can see this right now. He had like the clanks here and the clanks on each ankle. And there was a bar in between my legs. And if you move your legs like another inch, you can't go back in. So if you move your legs another inch, you can't go back in.

So I was in like the splits for like three and a half hours. And I swear to God, I was in the flight back from LA, like cross-eyed dislocated. Let me just say this. Hallie and I are sitting next to each other in LA having a cocktail. Bessie's. We're whispering sweet nothings to each other.

No, like I love you. I'm asking her just about her escapades. And she starts talking about this machine essentially. That she. It was giving Home Depot PR haul. No. It's like a curtain rod between her fucking legs, but there's a spring.

And when you said that, so are you, is this happening when you're getting fucked from behind? No. So like, I was on my back in the hogtie, that's what made it crazier. The hogtie was in front. And I felt like a chandelier at one point. I can't.

He put the bar over his neck at one point and then flipped me over. It was like, I can't move your legs. I thought I pulled a hamstring, Alex. I thought I was, needed PT after this. Wait, what? I had recently after this. Wait, what? I had recently watched the Jake Gyllenhaal show. Oh, you thought I was about to say I got a video of it. I was like, I

wouldn't be shocked. No, I while she was explaining this to me had watched the Jake Gyllenhaal show if any of you had watched it. It's like presumed innocence and the girl is murdered and she's wrapped up in a hog tie. So aside from a hog tie, what is like a weird thing, like a weird thing that would make like Hallie Batchelder be like that definitely was on the Richter scale of like weird that a man has done to me.

I mean, nothing makes me blush, but this one thing made me fear for many lives. I'm not gonna lie. Like this man was love bombing the absolute fuck out of me in a way where I was like aware it was happening but there was one night he called me and he always would call me spend two hours on the phone talking about fucking nonsense. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. I'm trying to go to bed or order Uber Eats. I don't know what the fuck you're saying. So he called me up and he's like,

I wrote a short story about you. And I'm like, oh my God, like trying to be like so cutesy and like interested, what was it about? And he's like, I wrote it about you. And like, you were my muse. And I was like, I've never been a muse before. Really, like tell me everything. I'm like, I've never been a muse before. Really, tell me everything. I'm like, tell me everything, every fucking detail.

This story was basically like, this random girl gets set up with this guy that works on her ranch and they go on a first date, it's a blind date and he teaches people how to shoot a gun and she's like, I'm scared of guns. Anyways, she's like, whatever. They continue dating and she keeps using the gun to masturbate, to fuck herself with the gun.

She's popping her pussy with the gun while he goes to work. Okay? And I was like, okay, this is a really good story. So he's like, yeah, like, then she uses the guns like a rifle to pop her pussy or to work. Anyways, anyways, one day, the end of the story was he walks in because he forgot his wallet or something, and she's using the rifle to masturbate and accidentally shoots her whole fucking head off. Like, pow!

I go, that's so sweet. What? I'm like, we're so in love. So I'm like, this girl blows her brains out and I'm, I'm the moose. I'm like, what? I'm like, I've never even talked about masturbating with this guy, but all of a sudden, I am popping my pussy with a rifle.

Dude, it's not fucking insane. I feel so like he walks in and like it's like he like she's like, oh, my God, you walked it like like what? Here's the thing. I do feel like life is about how you handle moments and I do feel like of any woman in the world for a man to share that kind of short story, you are the type of person that could maybe handle it better than another woman because like some bitches would just literally start like crying on the phone being like why would you tell me

this? But you're like, so sweet baby. I said thank you. Howie. And then when you got off the phone, do you call your friends or do you just pick back up? That one's, I mean, I can handle a fucking weird, weird dirty text or whatever,

but a weird two hour story about like how I blew my head off with a rifle via via masturbating. I didn't really know what to handle. So yes, I called my best friends. I was like, I don't know. I don't know. That's why I'm about to visit him. Whatever. And they're like, honestly, period. And I was like, period. Per let's still do it. I still visited him and I came. Hallie? Yeah. Hallie. Alex?

No. I couldn't get on that flight. I'm too paranoid I think he was gonna fucking kill me. I mean, your podcast is gonna be fucking insane. You're literally lounging like, which story should I tell about him? The hog ties? I would even consider that bad sex.

That was good sex. You enjoyed that. I liked that. What is the worst sex you've ever had? Or what would you consider bad sex? There was this one guy I hooked up with where he had like this weird baby fetish. Like where he thought it was like a doll

or like a baby doll. And he was like, oh, my pretty was like oh my pretty little princess my little girl My little pretty little princess and I was like who the fuck do you think you're talking to you? See just my pretty little princess. Maybe talked in bed. I was like do you need to be fucking murdered? No, that's the type of shit I'm not into freak I love we I'm gonna ask you some rapid fire. All right, who is the most famous person in your DMS? You know this You can't say it you want me to say it Or do we want to let you like hook up with him first and then yeah

I mean that long people I mean like there's a lot of famous people on my DMs. How do you handle that? Do you like that? No, well, I mean, they're all fucking weirdo losers. I feel like as I've grown up, I feel like, I'm like, oh, it'd be so cool to like fuck a famous guy. And then you're like, oh, these famous people are fucking weird freaks. Like Scott Disick, get out of my DMs. You weird fucking weird freak. Okay. Have you ever hooked up with your friend's boyfriend? I know. No. You weird fucking weird freak. Okay, have you ever hooked up with your friend's boyfriend?

Yeah. Well, like it's Memorial Day weekend. And like she consented. I mean, like she was like suck him sideways. I said I'll suck him diagonal. No, can I tell the story? Yeah, you tell the story. But I won't tell who it is.

No, please tell the story because I wanna tell the story so bad. I think it's hilarious. It shows how close me and Lauren are. She loves this story. Is she okay with it going public? Yes. Okay. So Halle and I are with Lauren and we're with Grayden

and I don't know what happened but we all started talking about sucking dick. And then all of a sudden you guys both turned to me and you had this like sadistic grin on and you're both like, oh my God, should we shower? And I'm like, show me what? And you're like, let's shower. And Lauren was like, shower.

You go, I need another drink before you show me. And then you took like a massive gulp of a drink and you go, okay, I'm ready. And they pull up their phone and they go, this is a video of Halle sucking my boyfriend's dick and I'm filming it and I'm like, hold on, hold on. Just for context, Daddy Gang, her Lauren is my Lauren. Like they are best friends. They do everything together.

And how long have Lauren and her boyfriend been together? Four years. Four years. Okay. So they show me this video. Honestly, great work. Great work by you. I learned from the best.

And Halle is- I'm really good at sucking dick ass. Wait, don't. No. Wait, cut that. What is this episode? I keep that in. Anyway, so I watched this and it was a masterpiece. Like it wasn't even like a weird video.

It felt like we were all in this together kind of vibe. Like Lauren was like moving to make sure she was getting the right angle. The boyfriend was having a good time. You were having a good time. Yeah. I think she had a ring light. But how the fuck do you, and isn't it like now like, like you're like, you're was having a good time, you were having a good time. Yeah, I think she had a ring light.

But how the fuck do you, and isn't it like now like a yearly thing? Yeah. Because she doesn't like to suck dick? What is this? Well, like it's like our inside joke, like she doesn't like to suck dick, and I was like, I'm gonna do it for you,

and like we're all like really good friends, like oh yeah, oh yeah. She's so confident, like she's too confident. She's so hot. She's like, she's so hot. She's so confident, like she's too confident. She's so hot. She's like, she's so hot. How many times have you done this? Like, four score, seven years ago. Multiple times.

Like four times, like three or four times. And how do these nights begin? They begin with the plant, the seed being planted. It's like, OK, this might happen later. But usually it's always on Memorial Day weekend on Antucket, like we go out, we go to crew, we have a couple of cocktails, the champagne's flowing, and then someone's dick is being sucked.

And if it's her boyfriend's, do you leave the room after and she fucks him, or what is happening? So it started was, I wanna watch them have sex. Like I always was curious how Lauren fucked. I've never seen it before, so I like how Lauren fucked. I've never seen it before. So I like wanted to watch. I've never seen it before. Like you often see your best friend have sex.

I mean, yeah. I mean like, so picture this chair in the room. Okay. And they're like fucking on the bed. And I was just kind of like sitting there with like my legs crossed like this. And I was like kind of like a weird creeper. You're literally like smiling like.

I'm like, cheers. I have like a notepad out. I'm like, all right weird creeper. You're literally like smiling like. I'm like cheers. I have like a notepad out. I'm like all right, this is it, okay, there you go. How did you feel? Were you at all turned on or were you just like fascinated? I was like turned on, but I was like, no, I don't think I would have a three way with Lauren.

Interesting, but you would suck her boyfriend's dick. Yeah. While she watches. That's like not that intimate. It's not that intimate. I would never like hook up with Lauren. Interesting. Like I've had many three ways.

Lauren could never be in that situation. Why? I don't think she would wanna be in that situation, first of all. And second of all, like I think Lauren has too much respect for herself to be involved in whatever situation I wanna be involved with. But she'll let you suck her boyfriend's dick.

She honestly looks at it as like me, she's like, oh my God, he has a good dick, I'm sharing this with my best friend. Oh my fucking God. Dude, that's some confident ass bitch. That would be like- No, it's the most confidence I've ever seen. Cause she's not even like worried

that you guys are gonna like ever do anything behind her back. Never, never, ever. It's insane. She's like, I want this for you, I wanna share this goodness with you because you are my best friend. That's how she looks at it. And does she also say like,

and also because you're so good at sucking dick? Yeah, and also she's like, I don't wanna suck. So you do it for me. And I have oral fixation. Like I used to bite my nails until I got them done. I hate the vape. Like sucking dick calms me down. That's the promo, that's the title. Who needs therapy when you have dick? So you've had multiple threesomes.

Many. What is the weirdest threesome you've ever had? The weirdest threesome I ever had? Thank you for asking. You're welcome. It was during COVID. Cut that. You can't say that.

The way that you start stories, like it was Memorial Day. Like the specificity. No, like this one girl was hooking up with this guy and I had hooked up with three of his brothers. Like, we cut that out. We're at a house party and she's hooking up with this guy all day. And I had a guy at the time

and like I had FaceTime sex with this guy in the bathroom. So I was like popping my pussy in this bathroom and then I like was done, whatever. I came out and this couple is still hooking up and I was like, my pussy in this bathroom and then I like was done, whatever. I came out and this couple is still hooking up and I was like, hmm, well I'm here, now that I'm here, now that I'm aroused and ready to fucking go, I'm ready to fire off. They were like, why don't you join?

And I was like, okay. It was like the couch, like the living area of this like small ass Boston apartment. Oh. And they were doing blow, wait, can I say that? Yeah. So they were doing blow, wait can I say that? So they were doing blow and she was like, let's just like it'd be funny if we both did blow off his dick so like one of them be sucking,

one of them be doing blow, suck, blow, suck, blow, suck, blow, the whole rotation. This girl ultimately takes off all her clothes and then she starts like riding this guy and then I sat on his face and then we swap swap swap and there was like the human centipede situation reverse. Did you enjoy that moment? Like did you actually have fun?

Yeah, built character. What is the biggest lie you've ever gotten caught in? I didn't give you chlamydia. I did. I did though. Okay. What is your favorite sex position? You know, I would say on top. It's quickest and easiest

and gets them out of my apartment quickest. You get those new tits. It's going to be quick. You know, you're like pow pow pow pow. But I also like doggy but know, you're like pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. But I also like doggy, but guys do not like to have doggy with me because there's not much recoil going on. It's like a negative recoil.

It's like putty. It's like Play-Doh. What? Because the tits are in the front and there's nothing in the back? I thought I would get fake tits and distract from my lack of ass. It's like putty ass.

Have you ever been in love? Absolutely not. What's your most controversial opinion, do you think? Anal is pleasant. If you're hooking up with someone 10 times, how many times are you doing anal of those 10 times? I mean, I've probably had more anal than the **** over here.

No, stop, we're kidding. Wait, you're hitting anal of those 10 times? I mean, I've probably had more anal than **** over here. No, stop, we can't. Wait, you're like, you're hitting the anal train? I mean, I'm a good Canada, I don't like food. So like, there's only me. Can you see that? Have you ever gone back to front and gotten a kidney infection? Yeah.

I think I have a UTI, I think I have a UTI on my LV right now. Are you able to come from anal? Depends who you ask. Wait, what? I don't know. Who have I faked it for? 10 times of sex.

How many times are you faking your orgasm? Usually not. I'm actually really good at finishing. Do you use a vibrator? It's like my superpower. No, I just use them as a dildo with a heartbeat. Usually it's me on top actually riding into the sunset and then whatever you want to do with me afters Are you often making eye contact during sex?

Yeah, it helps me it does. Yeah, I couldn't tell if you'd be someone that's like I'm not gonna go deep Emotionally, it's depends how ugly they are, honestly. Okay, let's talk about your podcast. Okay. Extra Dirty. It comes out tomorrow. Yes. How do you feel about it?

I'm excited. I just feel like I wanna get some unhinged shit online again. We gotta bring that back. So I'm excited to actually tell a good fucking story. Yeah, there's no censorship. I need no censorship. I'm excited for you to talk about your life because I feel like the fact that you have garnered

such an audience already and people love your debriefs and like everything about your life, but you're right. Like it's so tiny, the amount that you're able to give because of how salacious your stories are on TikTok. You are giving like bite size information and people are loving it already. And so I feel like the concept of you actually being able to sit down for like an hour at a time

and give debriefs that are, there is literally nothing that you can't say. No one is telling you like, Halle, that's too much, Halle, that's not enough. Like you can say whatever the fuck you want. It's kind of exciting. I'm very excited. It's gonna be really good. It's also like a breath of fresh air.

I feel like a lot of people are so filtered just online in general. Yeah. Even if it's like not like a salacious story, whether it's just like pointing out your flaws. I really wanna get into that and just like have like a true life online experience. Have you ever felt like you overshared

too much on the internet? I overshare all the time. I mean, I overshare to you. Yeah. You're like, okay. Do you ever regret it or no? With you or online? Both.

No. It's just like what makes me me. I overshare and I feel like that's a real life experience to be oversharing. It sucks and you're gonna deal with like the repercussions in the morning, but then fuck you get through it and honestly it builds character. There is nothing I'm more excited for than your show.

It's gonna be so fun. Truly, every Thursday, Halle Batchelder coming to you live, extra dirty, it's gonna fucking happen. And by the time this is out, Daddy Gang, Halle's show is coming out tomorrow on Thursday and we will be in New York City partying and celebrating. I love you, thank you for coming on and spilling your secrets and now let's go to dinner.

I love you so much. Love you. Thanks for watching!