Call Her Daddy - He Wants More Sex Than Me

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

Join Father Cooper in the studio for a saucy summertime solo episode. Alex is here to cure your summer FOMO and hit you with the reality of what it’s really like on those Italian beaches you’re seeing all over social media. She then opens up about her own sex life and shares a revelation she had after her honeymoon on what is required in order for her to have more consistent sex. Alex hits us with the PSA that summertime situationships are officially in and reminisces on two of her most successful summer flings (shoutout rooftop pool man). Finally, she debriefs a recent conversation she had with a friend and gives her take on when it’s okay to gossip and when it actually turns to shit talking.

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy what's up daddy gang welcome back to a super soaker sexy scandalous saucy sausage summer motherfucking episode of call her daddy before we get into this episode, I need to do a PSA because recently I found myself doing exactly what I always tell you guys not to do. I'm a little fucking hypocrite, okay? I was comparing my life to influencers on social media. The past, I would say, like two weeks have just been like, how are all these fucking bitches moving to the Hamptons for the summer? Like, what is happening? They're like packing my bags off to the Hamptons.

And I'm like, I fucking wish. I started to feel like, as I'm sitting at my desk, like, wow. I just was feeling like shit. I was like, oh my god, I don't have that many fun summer plans. And everything I'm basically doing for summer is for work. And like, here's the thing. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Coming from someone who has gone on trips

to the Hamptons and to Italy, it is so beautiful and it is amazing. Okay, but right now I'm gonna focus on the fucking negatives because that's what we need to make ourselves feel better as we are endlessly scrolling at our desks this summer, daddy gang. the next time you open tiktok as you're slaving away at your nine to five i hope this commentary makes you laugh instead of crying over us being jealous of these motherfucking influencers okay here we go this is at least my rationale of how i'm getting through it. You guys can get through it however you want, but this is what I will say. The beaches in Italy are literally made up of fucking rocks. Okay, how about that?

You want that soft white sand between your toes this summer. You're not getting it in fucking Italy. Okay, you're better off laying in the grass in your backyard or at a local park. Honestly, a wood slab on your balcony will be more comfortable than laying on the rocks and the concrete that they call beaches in Italy, okay? So if you're seeing all these bitches gallivanting around Capri or Capri or however the fuck you say it, don't be jealous. Don't worry, okay? Now, maybe you're feeling adventurous and you're like, you know what, Alex, I am okay. I want to lay on the rocks. That sounds comfortable. That sounds relaxing to me. I want to be there.

Okay. That's totally fine. Good luck finding a spot to fucking lay down on the rocks. Sardines, daddy gang, sar motherfucking deans. People are sweating. They're fighting. They're shoving for space in Italy to even get a spot on the rocks. And I would like to point out while you're laying on said rock, something that would probably sound nice, right? You're laying on the rock. It's kind of jabbing into your back. You're like, oh, fuck. To make it all feel better, you probably would love a little nice ice water, right? Maybe a little lemon and ice water. Maybe you want an iced coffee so you can go shit your pants, okay? Anything iced, honestly, at that point when it's scorching hot. Joke is on you, bitch. They don't have ice in Italy. Okay, well, they do have ice in Italy,

but they don't believe in serving it. They do not believe in serving ice in fucking anything, okay? Do you guys see where I'm fucking going with this? Welcome back to another episode of color daddy. I'm just happy. I wasn't invited to go to Europe this summer. Okay. Thank God we are not going to Europe this summer and gallivanting around daddy gang, the Ohio grass, the Arizona pools, the Kentucky charm. That is where it's at this summer. People, we did not want to go to Europe anyways. Guys, I'm obviously, obviously like fucking, I'm half kidding and I'm half not. I'm not a fucking idiot. Obviously, Italy would be amazing to go there all summer. The Hamptons would be amazing to go there all summer. But I just feel like we see it so much on social media that everyone is getting to go to these amazing places. And it just makes us feel like fucking shit. You do not need to go to these amazing places and it just makes us feel like fucking shit you do not

need to go to all these places that you see people online posting from to have a fun filled summer daddy gang and I don't I don't want to see people complaining being like but Alex like I don't have any time like I don't have anything cool to do this summer like Like, am I like fucking Zags? Like, I'm a fucking loser. Like, what the fuck? You do have something fun to do. Okay, Margaret, the minute work is done, let me pitch you a little something because I did this the other night and I was jazzed up about it. Okay? You're going to go home from work. You're going to make yourself a fun margarita or a little sex on the beach or a Cosmo or whatever the whatever the fuck kind of cocktail you want, OK, you are going to invite a friend over or you're going to do it

with your partner or if you don't have any friends, at least that live in that city, schedule a FaceTime date with someone, one of your friends, a family member to have a little cocktail hour with a little FaceTime catch up. And if no one is available for happy hour or you really don't have any friends, happy hour with yourself. Okay. I want you daddy gang this summer. We are going to order those little, you know, those little like, um, the little like cocktail things that are like a little umbrellas that you can put in your drink that makes you feel like if you close your eyes and you squint,'re like I am in Hawaii I am literally in Hawaii you're in your apartment um you're gonna order these little things on Amazon maybe hang up some string lights in your

apartment or on your deck if you have a deck like make yourself a gorgeous cheese board with some of your favorite snacks and turn on your comfort show light a candle or go have a fucking picnic at the park go read a book by yourself. Like, I guess the point is like you really can create the vibe wherever you are, Daddy Gang. That is the point. And I honestly, if you live in the suburbs, fucking hell, whip out the goddamn slip and slides. OK, back in PA, we used to rip on those tarps. We honestly didn't even have a slip and slide. You just do a bunch of tarp. You put out a hose. You pour some rosé. Even if it's a two buck chuck, force your friends to come outside and come over and make the most of summer. Okay. This season does not have to be expensive.

You can have so much fun right where you are. I love you guys. I just kind of wanted to like say that because social media, like I don't need to say it again. Like social media is fake and blah, blah, blah. Like sure. But let's stop focusing on what all these influencers are doing. Let's stop focusing on what all these people are doing. Focus on yourself. You can have so much fun after your nine to five. Crack open that fucking Corona. Take some titty pics. Slat in the DMs with a little nipple and have yourself some great sex. Speaking of sex, oh, what a transition. I love when a transition just comes naturally. Let's talk about summertime sex because I don't know if anyone else feels this way or can relate, but I feel like I have better sex in the summer. Why is that? I don't know. I think it's probably

because during the summer, everyone is just naturally less stressed. We are outside more. We're interacting with people more. I feel like everyone has more energy. The endorphins are up. Usually work is a little less hectic. Maybe if you're a lucky person, you get those summer Fridays where you get to leave work early and really kickstart that weekend. But for me personally, my sex life is heavily dependent on my stress level. And I was recently having a conversation with a friend about my honeymoon. And I was telling her that because I was able to be so checked out with work while I was on my honeymoon, it really allowed Matt and I to feel so connected. And our sex life was thriving, which don't get me wrong.

I think that's what most people would expect. You don't expect me to come on here and be like, the honeymoon was dry as fuck. Like, no, obviously we had great sex on our honeymoon, but I was being really honest with my friend and I was like, don't get it twisted. I'm not always having honeymoon level sex with Matt. And for me, I really need to be emotionally connected and not stressed in order to be having consistent good sex. Like I can have good sex, but like it takes me kind of a good amount of relaxation to actually have an orgasm when I'm having sex with my partner. Like Matt and I, we definitely have our dry spells where we can go a week or two weeks even we've gone at times without having sex because we just get so caught up in the busyness of life and work. And I think

it's important to say that because obviously I'm aware and know the origin of this show was very sex heavy, which I'm so happy about. But I do think the reality is like when you are an adult, it is nearly impossible to have a perfect sex life. And I am the first to say it on this show. Well, because I am the host and there's no one sitting next to me to say it, I don't have a perfect sex life, especially as a woman. So much goes into our ability to orgasm, right? And that is something that Matt and I actually talked about. So once we got back from our honeymoon and we got back to LA, we were in the hot tub like a week after our honeymoon and we were just like reminiscing on our honeymoon. and Matt and I kind of just started talking about like our sex life and I know talking about your sex life is quite awkward with your

partner like I get that even you can be he's my husband now but it's still like oh like is it like let's let's address the elephant in the room like how's our sex life doing and that's my first bit of advice to anyone in the daddy gang if If you are in a relationship, like you, you should consistently be having check-ins just like about your sex life. I just feel like sometimes it can get away from you and you can feel like the more it builds up, then the more awkward it is to have the conversation. And I, my first bit of advice is like, you can make it fun. It doesn't have to be this like serious conversation to check in with your partner. But for me, Matt and I just started talking about it because we were having this great sex and I brought it up in the hot tub. I was like, I want to admit like I know I'm kind

of the one that holds like the keys to our sex life in the relationship. Like Matt on paper, you could say has like a higher sex drive than me. And then therefore, as we all know, daddy gang, like the person with like the higher sex drive is like the one that's basically just staring at you. And the person that doesn't have the higher sex drive is kind of the one that like dictates when you're having sex with your partner. Right. And I just was like, listen, I want to be honest. Like I want to have more of that, like honeymoon, more consistent, like amazing sex. How can we make that happen? And I want to share some things that I realized about myself on our honeymoon that I need from you. And so I don't know if anyone can relate to this, but like for me, like, okay, this is

actually a funny story I was thinking about. And I shared with Matt, when we got back from our honeymoon, there was one night where there was like drama in our family going on. And Matt and I laid in bed and I shit you not for two hours this man indulged me and talked all the drama with me and we were going through it and going through it and we're just laying in the dark talking and I know this sounds really strange but I literally started to get turned on because because Matt's like this is all it takes me just talking to you for an extended amount of time. I'm like, yes. Like he was being so, and like Matt is very emotionally intelligent, which is one of the things I love the most about him because like a lot of men in the past, it would be like

talking to a wall. I'm like, nevermind. I'll go call my friend about this. But Matt engages me and like is down to have these conversations. And so we're talking, we're talking. And he's like giving me his like analysis on this one family member. And I'm like, oh my God, you're so right. And like, I'm learning things from him. And I feel like sometimes I would say like, I would be like emotionally leading the charge in our, in my

romantic relationships, but Matt meets me toe to toe, but we don't get to do this often. And so I start to get turned on as he's speaking of said family member. I'm not thinking about the family member, you guys, I'm thinking about Matt. Okay. And I start to get aroused. What a concept. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm now literally horny because my partner and I have been emotionally connecting. He's listened to me. He's hearing me. I'm hearing him. We're laughing. We're having a good time. And then we proceeded to have incredible sex. The nights that it's easier for Matt to have sex and it's difficult for me to have sex is when I come home from work at seven o'clock. We're both still kind of on calls. We're like cheersing each other with a little whiskey, but we're both on the phone, like talking to people for work. And then we're going upstairs and it's like, are we just going to have like,

are we just going to have sex right now? We've barely looked at each other all day? We've barely spoken all day. It's tough for me to switch off from work mode to sex mode because I need to fucking relax. And when my asshole is clenched thinking about how I haven't edited this episode yet, I can't think about an orgasm because, ladies, you actually need to physically be relaxed to have an orgasm. Men can easily fucking jerk it and get the job done that it's not as simple for us so I just wanted to share that with you guys because I don't know I feel like in the past maybe a lot of like the rhetoric on the show was just like if you're not having good sex like dump him like, maybe, but not in this case. I think a lot of it has to do with like having a check-in with yourself of how are you approaching your sex life? And are you even

giving yourself a chance to have great sex? Because for example, like he always makes sure that I'm coming first. And I've gotten very particular to Matt. We're like, there is this one position. I always have an orgasm without a doubt. And now every time Matt's like, let's put you in that position, get your vibrator, let's go. And it always gets me off. Like I'm like, let's fucking go. And Matt now is like, I love that. But how does he know that? Because I told him because I was like, babe, when we do that one position, I come every single time and he's like, amazing. So I feel like, yes, it can be anxiety inducing to start a conversation with your partner about sex. And again, I've had people on the show before and I've said it before, like don't have the conversation in the bedroom, but maybe daddy gang, I think this summer is a really great time

to lean in and carve out more moments like this. Like maybe your office does summer Fridays, right? So you and your partner can make, I don't know, make a plan to go meet for happy hour after work and like feel fun and flirty going on a date together. That's something that I've said to Matt is like naturally when we eat at home some nights, we're both like not feeling like we're completely on a date. We're like checking our phone. We're doing these things. We're busy.

Right. And we're not focused on each other when we're on a date night. It's like phones down, looking at each other, having wine and flirting and talking and connecting before we go back to the bedroom. So I think sometimes we may like get down on ourselves. Maybe ladies are like, fuck, like my sex drive hasn't been blah, blah, blah. Trust me. I would say like six months ago, I was really struggling with my sex drive. Like my hormones were off. My birth control was changing. There was so much going on. And I was a lot of us can agree, like once you get to a good place in your personal masturbation time with yourself, like I've had times in the past where I'm like, oh, I'd rather just like quickly masturbate because I know I'm going to get myself off. Why though? I know I can now get myself off every time I have sex with Matt. That should be your goal.

The summer ladies is like infuse what gets you off into sex and stop being scared to bring that into the bedroom they're gonna want you to get off be selfish they're about to get off too make sure you get off this summer I want everyone to just be intentional because if you feel like you're connecting and being intimate outside of the bedroom here's a little secret and I know it sounds so fucking obvious, daddy gang. But if you are more connected outside of the bedroom, if you feel emotionally connected, I feel like specifically as women,

it'll be so much easier to bring that energy into the bedroom. And to all of my single daddy gang, you are not forgotten. I see you. You also deserve a thriving sex life. Okay. So my PSA to you, summertime flings, summertime situationships, in my personal opinion, are in. I feel like this summer when you're on the apps, I just feel like you don't need to be looking for marriage material. It can be fun. It can be casual. You just need to find someone that you enjoy hanging out with. He doesn't have to check every single box that's on your to be husband list. Okay. A summer fling is someone to go drink with, hit the beach with, bring around to parties with you, or ideally they're bringing you to their parties with their friends.

Like essentially look at it like he's just broadening your social calendar. I heavily condone the summertime situationship because I had a very, very, very successful one back in the day. I don't know if you guys remember this, but I remember I, this was like years and years ago, back when I lived in New York city, I remember I met this guy that was friends with a friend and you know, I wouldn't say I was like, damn, he's a 10 and like, damn, I want to jump his bones and fuck him. But I would say when he invited my friends and I over and he recognized that his apartment had a rooftop and that rooftop had a pool, I was more inclined to give this man a chance. You know, had he maybe not had a rooftop

pool, maybe I wouldn't have gone on another date with him. But because this was a fun situation, Chip, I was like, you know what? This is fun for summer. Fuck the guy with the pool. Okay, I said it. Is it surface level? Absolutely. Is it social climbing?

No, it's just materialistic climbing and when you live in New York City and you are fucking dry lizards walking around the fucking block desperate for a fucking aquafina or a goddamn Fuji Fuji wait regardless you're you want water a nice pool sounds so refreshing and so I did the one thing that I could to help not only myself. I also think situationships is important to look at it. It's not just for you. It's for your friends, right? My friends would be like, are you going to see him tonight? Let's hit the pool. And I'm like, I don't want to have sex with this man. No, but for the pool, I'll fuck for the pool. And there I was with my four fucking girls in our flip flops and our little bikinis being like, hi, we're here

for XYZ. And the doorman would let us up and we would go to the pool. And what got even better is by the time that I got that connection really strong, he sometimes would have to go on work trips, but he would let me use his pool without him and don't get it twisted. Those were my favorite times when I didn't have to see his face. I was just using his amenities. Okay. So rooftop pool boy, that was a perfect example. Another perfect example of a situation that actually led to so much more for me was I remember I met this guy on Raya and it was in the middle of summer. I was bored out of my mind. I'm like painting my nails, 10 different colors. I'm like picking my hair out, like thinking of dying my hair pink. I'm like, what can I do to like feel something, you know?

And I finally see this guy on Raya who I'm like, I just don't know if he's got it, but at least he's not a DJ in Australia. Like this is a guy that lives in New York. I can easily get out of here if it doesn't work out. Okay. And so I go and I meet him for drinks and we met at this like little random pub and we're sitting outside and he's cute but then all of a sudden this is what really got me he told me he had to leave after one drink and I was like what and he was like I'm so sorry like it's my friend's

birthday party at this bar later I have to go pick up like a couple bottles, whatever, and bring it. And I was like, you have a party that your friend is throwing at his bar in West Village? Um, hi, my name is Alex. Fuck me sideways. Let's go to the party. And I remember I was like, no way. I was literally giving this man nothing. No wonder he was like leaving after one drink.

Then all of a sudden he was like, do you want to come later? Like you can come meet up with us. And I was like, oh, like, let me check my schedule. Yes. And he brought me to this bar later that night. And I met all of his friends who were so fucking hot. And if you guys remember my episode from the other week where I said hockey players back then were my type. I walk in and there's three NHL players that he's friends with. And I'm like, you are my favorite fucking situationship that I have ever come in contact with. Fuck pool boy. I now have athletes in my presence and he wasn't pushing the sex much.

He was like maybe a back rubber to that night. And I was like, this is incredible. And so what I started to do in that situation ship was really turn it into a friendship. And quickly I was swerving, being, oh, I'm patting him on the back and trying to shift into his friend group. And you know what I successfully did that I immediately became friends with all of the women in the friend group. So the next time that we all hung out, they invited me. He also invited me, but they invited me. And so I'm texting them. I got in the friend group. I eventually, lovely, we ended up actually being friends. He was a really nice person. And then I fucked his friends and it was literally amazing. Like it was the summer of a

lifetime. I was bopping around. I was homie hopping and I was owning it. I was like, woo, woo, woo. It was a time also where like I was just in a weird place. And so I just every night would show up and be like, who do I want? That is what I want for you guys, daddy gang. I want you guys to find a situation ship that you're obsessed with that gives you great orgasm. And if he doesn't bop to the friends, bop to the homies, but who knows, maybe you'll fucking hook up with one of his girlfriends. Like the girls were beautiful in that friend group. Like I had the most fun of my life. Okay. This friend group, there was so much to be done and I did it all. And so while you're sitting in your apartment right now, you're blowing your nose, you have a cold, you're feeling

bad for yourself. You're drinking your tea. You're calling your mom five times a day. Stop it. Stop it right now. This summer, it is the summer for a fun situationship, a fun fling, a fun little thing. So daddy gang, this is your sign. Get on the motherfucking apps. Find a motherfucker that has been on my mind so my friend was talking about something that was upsetting her and she kept apologizing like I'm saying like oh my god I'm sorry like I feel like I'm gossiping and I kept having to remind Like I'm saying like, oh my God, I'm sorry. Like I feel like I'm gossiping. And I kept having to remind her, I'm like, you are not gossiping. You're just venting. And that's fine. Which then got me thinking, what is the difference between gossiping and venting? In my opinion, venting is when you are talking about yourself and gossiping is when you're talking about someone

else. But I will say as I've grown up and I've started to really reflect on how I connect with my friends and what I'm using my time and my energy for, I have noticed, surprisingly, that I feel like gossip sessions don't really hit the same as they used to. I know. This is shocking. Okay. I just think we as women can and should do better when it comes to how we talk about each other. I feel like that's obvious, right? Because the sad reality is you and I hate ever giving men, I hate ever giving men a fucking pat on the back, but you rarely hear men gossiping to the extent that women do. That is a fact. And as women, we have to acknowledge we're the leaders of gossiping, right? Like when you see someone

shit talking a woman online, it's usually another woman. Like it's rare that a man's in the comment section being like, what's going on with like your face? Or like, what did you do to your body? Or like, it's always a woman going after a woman, right? So I want to break it down today even more talking about the difference of gossiping versus venting. Let's start with venting, which in my opinion, on its own, is not toxic. I actually looked it up. Yeah, we do research on Call Our Daddy, okay? Venting lowers blood pressure, boosts the immune system, and improves sleep and lessens depression. I mean, what is not to love about that, right? Let me say that again. Boosts, boosts the immune system, improves sleep and lessens depression. Baby,

vent all day, okay? It makes me think, honestly, venting almost makes me think about therapy, which is basically an hour-long vent session. It's a way to feel heard and to feel understood when something has happened to you. And yes, while you are probably speaking about someone else to your therapist while you're venting, you're maybe talking about a friend or a family member. Venting is ultimately, in my opinion, it like revolves around you speaking about your own experiences and emotions. It is not ranting about how shitty someone is, but it can be talking about how shitty someone made you feel. Does that make sense? Let me give you an example if that got confusing. Okay. So the other weekend I was supposed to go out to dinner with one of my best friends

who I hadn't seen in a while. We've both been super busy with work. Our schedules just have not matched up, but we finally got something on the calendar. And I texted her that morning just to make sure she was like still available. And she said, yes. And then I texted her in the afternoon to see what outfit vibe we were going for. Guys, it doesn't stop in college. Okay. I want to make sure we're coordinating our, our vibes. Are we going titties? Are we going, you know, a cardigan? You know, there's a big difference there. Okay. And she told me what she had in mind. We were going titties, loved it. Okay. So I was literally in the car driving to dinner.

Hair was done. Makeup was on. I'm blasting tortured poet's department, okay? I am singing windows down. I'm wearing my whole ass outfit. And she called me 10 minutes before our reservation. I'm stuck in traffic on Laurel Canyon to cancel and I was understandably so annoyed I came home and I was venting to Matt I told him like

I thought it was shitty and just like inconsiderate that she waited until the last second to cancel especially when I had kind of given her like two chances earlier that day to cancel of like checking in and then like checking our vibe and like checking our outfits. Like I was frustrated that I wasted my time getting ready and driving into the city to a restaurant. And I was sad that I didn't get to see her. That's really what it was. Like aside from being annoyed, like I was disappointed because I just hadn't felt super connected to her lately. And I was really looking forward to seeing her. All of those feelings were valid and focused on my experience.

I didn't say anything nasty about her because the motive of venting isn't to hurt the other people. It is just to make yourself feel better. And so when my friend called me the next day, I was able to tell her how upset I was with her like without bringing all the emotions from yesterday into it and I think it was actually a way more productive conversation now in hindsight because I had already talked through everything with someone neutral like I had already dumped on Matt being like I'm so fucking pissed like oh like I'm sad like she didn't like give me a heads up. Like I would have like gone on a date

night with you. Like we haven't had a minute together all week. Like I vented enough. So when I spoke to my friend, I was like pretty calm and level headed about it. Of course I was like still a little upset, but I do feel like there are times, which is actually some of the worst moments is when, when you accidentally vent to the wrong person, you can end up feeling way fucking worse because you went to a friend who turned your venting session into a gossip session. Okay. Example. Let's just say when I was upset about my friend last minute canceling on me, that instead of me talking to Matt, I called up one of our mutual friends. And let's say that mutual friend then went back to the other girl and basically twisted my words, which I'm not saying it is kind of their fault,

but I also just think everything gets lost in translation of like, maybe she says to the girl that I was so pissed that she canceled. I never wanted to make plans with her again. I think she was so inconsiderate and so selfish. How would she feel if in our next plans, I just canceled on her last minute to really show her how it felt like that has happened to me and I'm sure it's happened to a lot of you too but because of the way it was delivered in that moment probably to my friend the friend is totally gonna think that I was gossiping about her and not just venting and being like upset of how it affected me which daddy gang is why I do think it's so important to be cautious who you vent to because while you may have all the best intentions in the world some people are always looking to turn

things into drama because like I said earlier and I know it's fucking annoying and being a woman myself I have done it but it's like we too addicted to drama, especially when it's not our own. I feel like women, like we just kind of get off on it and it's like this rush and it gets really complicated because it can really, really affect relationships. Especially I think once you're out of college, once you're out of high school and you're in your 20s, your 30s, your 40s and on. Also, let me be so clear. Venting is not something that you should need to happen every single day, right? Like if you're someone who needs to vent to your friends or your family about all the small little shitty things that happen to you every single day, hear me very clear, daddy gang, it's probably not venting anymore. Like you might just be unloading on people. And that is where you probably start to lose friends. Like honestly,

like it can get to a point probably where you're being like selfish and honestly toxic for your friends to have to keep dealing with. Like it verges on you almost taking advantage of your friends desire to be there for you when you're going through something difficult. And like, again, I want to pause on that because I know I'm not saying, listen, being a friend and a good friend is recognizing that most of the time in life, you will never be on the same page of your friend. When you're single, they're in a relationship. When you're in a relationship, they're single. When you're kind of having the best success with work, they're probably down in the dumps. Like that's just the way the world works, I feel like.

Whenever I'm up, my friends are down and vice versa. And so I feel like you should be able to vent a lot to your friends when you're going through things. But there is a self-awareness you need to have when the venting is becoming intolerable for the other person where it's like, call your therapist, write it in your fucking journal, call your mom, call your dad, call fucking anyone, talk to a squirrel outside. At this point, you need to knock it the fuck off because your friends also have lives. And now the venting has become inconsiderate. So I don't want people to write in and be like, sometimes you have to like, you can't

just vent and be done. No, no, no. I get it. But if it's every fucking day and you're just a negative fucking Nancy, yeah, you're going to slowly be also probably the person DMing me being like, why do all my friends keep abandoning me? Check your chatterbox. Like, how much are you not shutting the fuck up about yourself?

When's last time you asked your friend if they were OK? You know? So overall, I am an advocate for venting, but gossip, okay? Gossip, I feel like that's not as black and white. In my opinion, let's talk about gossip, okay? Because there are different levels to that shit. And not all gossip is necessarily bad. I know that sounds a little like, oh, Alex, I don't know if I believe you. Let me share a little personal anecdote. Okay. It makes me think of holidays with my family growing up. Okay. My aunts and my mom and the cool older, like girl cousins and my sister would grab their wine and go into the kitchen and just catch up and gossip with each other. And I remember when I was little wanting so fucking badly to be a part of that kitchen circle and to be old enough to hear the juicy stories. And then finally, when I grew up, I got my wine and I got in there. And the first story I remember hearing was just about how my cousin's coworker was eloping with her high school ex-boyfriend in Vegas. Like, great fucking material.

I'm like, oh my God, dad, pour us another fucking bottle. Keep it fucking coming. Ooh, what happened next? Ooh, what the town is talking about? Like, the kitchen gossip turned out to just be like funny, interesting stories. And this is the most important part

about people we tangentially knew doing slightly crazy things. Like these gossip stories were so harmless and they brought the women in my family closer together because we were laughing, we were crying, we would spend hours talking and laughing and bonding over wild stories we had heard. That type of gossip, in my opinion, is very different from what we typically think of when we hear the word gossip. I think a lot of us picture middle school or mean girls or spreading rumors about someone else. And in my opinion, that is the type of gossip I would say falls more into the talking shit behind people's back category. It's honestly when you know, you know in your heart what you're

saying is mean. And we have all fucking been there. When you say to your friend, we've all been there. I'm calling myself out too. Like, can I be mean for a second? Or like, wait, I'm not to be rude, but oh, then you proceed to be fucking rude and a big fucking cunt. Yes, that is the shit talking that we have all done. And we're all guilty of it. And I am honestly not here to judge anyone. I want to be so clear. I have definitely done my fair share of shit talking in my life. Okay. Because here's the thing. Now that I feel like I'm just like having more experiences, I realizing like, I just think of the word now in hindsight. And when I think of myself, when I used to do it insecure, like if someone said, did you hear Jenny got lip filler? Like she looks so fucking crazy. Like, oh my God, like look at her botox like i guarantee someone who is confident in their own appearance would never say that about jenny like why are you even noticing what jenny's doing and also why do you care what jenny's doing just be glad you don't

have that or do you want it you know what i mean like or you could be like jessica's boyfriend was all over me at the party like he's so obsessed with me i just feel so fucking bad for her chances are that girl's boyfriend just said either hi to you and you're like clinging on for the male validation or he was hitting on you. And instead of shit talking, have empathy where you're like, damn, that fucking sucks. Like, should I tell this girl or like, or just walk away? You know what I mean? Like the point is that I feel like a lot of the times when we are talking shit, daddy gang, it comes from a place of our own insecurity. And I don't mean you're insecure because you want the botched lip filler.

I'm saying you're insecure because something about this either in your life is happening that actually has nothing to do with Jenny and her lip filler. It actually has to do with you've been feeling so shit that week from something in your life that talking shit on this girl and her appearance and what she looks like is making you feel bigger and better and is making you feel less small and whatever the fuck is going on in your shit. So you could be completely removed from this lip filler. You may have the most bodacious lips going. You may have slits, okay? It doesn't matter. It's not about the motherfucking lips. It is about the fact that your boyfriend called you XYZ, commented on your body that week.

Your mom wasn't giving you attention. You got fired from your job that week. Like whatever the fuck it was. And all of a sudden, this target in front of you is this easy target and you just fucking go for it and you just fucking go for it and you go below the belt because it makes you feel a little bit fucking better about yourself. And that is so fucking relatable.

I just want to say it. I have done it when I'm feeling insecure and I say something and I catch myself and I'm like, why did I just say that? Like, what the fuck? And in the moment, yeah, gossip can make you feel like you're also bonding with someone. Like it can make you feel like you're in on the joke or like you're superior to the person that you're talking about. So when you're feeling insecure or lonely or seeking connection, you end up gossiping more. Like I can so fucking acknowledge I definitely used to use gossip as a way to get closer

to people. It gives you something to talk about and fill all those kind of like awkward silences when you're just getting to know someone. I know it actually reminds me. I remember I moved to L.A. and I didn't have many people I knew in L.A. I just had Lauren when she used to live here and I was trying to branch out. And a lot of the women that I was meeting in my industry were like a little bit older than me and like really knew the ropes. And I was just like the youngest in this group and

kind of like was very intimidated by these women. And I found myself at these dinners, if they were shit talking ever, I would join in because I was like, oh, this is going to get me like in with them. And this is going to make me be able to like chime in. And since they're shit talking, they're going to like that I'm on their side of the shit talking. So they're going to like me more when they're shit talking this random person that I don't even know. And I'd be like, wait, she did what? Oh, my God, that's so cringe. Like, why did she do that? And so then all of a sudden I left that dinner thinking oh my god we're so much closer and the fucked up part is like then the next time I did see that person

they would keep shit talking and then I would keep shit talking with them and it almost was like how our relationship started and now I'm not really like close with those people anymore because I recognize like the only thing we had that we bonded over was like that we were gossiping like what and now I just think if you only want to talk about other people when you're trying to make new friends daddy gang it's because you don't have anything interesting to say about yourself or what's going on in your own life, or you are so insecure around that new friend group, you need to get more confident in yourself. It is okay to be quiet at a dinner when you have nothing to add. Don't word vomit and just feel like you need to speak negatively in order to join in. And I'm literally talking about myself. This absolutely happened to me. And that was just sad when I look back, I'm like, oh my God,

that was such like a weird dynamic that I kind of got roped into. Trust me, those friendships will eventually come to bite you in the ass because most of the time, if a friend of yours is constantly telling you the best tea and the juiciest stories and the most intimate details a friend shared with her and she's regurgitating it to you, chances are she's telling other people about your tea and your juicy stories and your trauma that you confide in her with. Okay. And I think it just goes without saying like tearing someone else down does not lift you up in the moment it's temporary. And then you actually just go back to feeling like fucking shit. So now you've just been a piece of shit to someone else. And you also will

feel like shit because whatever your fucking job or your boyfriend said, or whatever the fuck happened again, Margaret, what was her name? Jenny, Jenny's lips are going to be Jenny's lips forever. And you shitting on them isn't going to make you fucking feel better about yourself. It's going to be a quick, it's going to be like a little hit of heroin. Oh my God. No. What? No, no, no, no, no. It's going to be like drugs. Let's just say drugs. It's going to be drugs. It's going to be a, Ooh, it's going to be a rush and then a come down. And how are you going to get back up there? Do it again and do it again and do it again and do it again. So daddy gang, being able to vent, gossip, share, open up and connect with other people

is important. It's needed. It's honestly necessary in some cases. But I think the key is recognizing the difference in these conversation styles and understanding why you're talking about something the way you are. Are you venting because you had a tough day and you need to not feel alone in it? That is totally okay. That is great. That's amazing, stunning, healthy. We love it. Gorgeous queen slay. Are you having a bad day every day and

dumping it onto your friends? That's maybe a sign you need to do a little deeper work and maybe, you know, talk to your therapist about those problems. And listen, we all love to spill the tea. We love, give me the tea. What's going on, Donna? Give me that tea. There's nothing better than a big fucking pot of tea, okay? But is it because it's fun and lighthearted or is it because it makes you feel better to hear something about someone that is bad and that is negatively affecting their life? And trust me, I know it's hard when you're going through a time of deep insecurity or if you're really fucking jealous about someone or just not feeling good about yourself. I get it. But I think recognizing that is the first step

because we have all been there. And letting yourself be okay with how you feel is important. We all get jealous sometimes. It's normal to feel that way, but it's how you react to that feeling that makes a fucking huge difference. I do actually want to make one exception. This is where I get petty. I'm like, we are health and wellness. We are loving. Don't gossip. Only if it's fun gossip or about someone that you don't even know. Here's the thing. We all have those people that we will just never like. And they are our enemies of some sort. Okay?

I have some enemies. You know? It could be an ex-boyfriend. It could be an ex-friend. It could be a family member, someone who just absolutely screwed you over so fucking bad, was a piece of shit to you, was rude, lied on your name, made you feel like a fucking piece of shit, whatever. These are the types of people I think it is okay to talk shit on. Okay. I am on that Dave okay to absolutely hate your enemies. I remember, if you guys don't know what I'm talking about, Dave Portnoy legit has a bottle of champagne

that he has the names engraved, okay, of each of his enemies and he sets them aside for each of his said enemies. And when they fail and when they publicly fuck up, get fucked over, get canceled, whatever happened, karma, as we like to say, karma hits them in the motherfucking titties. Dave pops that fucking bottle of champers and drinks the whole goddamn thing and celebrates when his enemy falls so I'm like I gotta start getting my champers okay as long as it's not consuming you that is the one fucking thing I fully fucking condone those good little fucking vindicating shit talking sessions when you see your fucking enemy doing something like failing. Yep. Absolutely. Happily. Cause you know what? You fucked me so fucking bad. I will always sit and relish in your fucking downfall,

you little piece of shit. So to all of my my enemies I'm so fucking happy that you are my enemy because it fuels me it makes me better who I was at a dinner with some of the other night and he was like god like my wife just keeps trying to tell me like you need to stop with like this aggression like you can't talk about your enemies this way. And he was like, sweetie, it's what gets me up in the motherfucking morning. Literally having hate in my soul and this evil fucking hate for these little fucking cunts and these pieces of shit motherfuckers who tried to ruin me, who tried to bring me down. I loathe you.

I seek you. I'm better than you. And I can't wait for you to fucking self-destruct you little fucking loser and I was like oh my god honestly it was like kind of inspiring I was like yes yes like I don't need Pilates to get my fucking endorphins going I need to see my fucking public enemies fucking rot god it's so fucking fun I literally just canceled out everything I said I'm like gossip till the end fucking bring bring them down. No, do not do that. Only if they fucking ruined your life in some capacity. So overall, let's just have a great fucking summer, Daddy Gang. Okay,

hags. Did you guys ever do that? It was genuinely so soul crushing also when you waited all year for your crush to sign your fucking yearbook and basically write a love letter to you. And then all you got, you open it, you get in the car with your mom you're like what did nick say what did nick say hags just hags that's all they wrote have a good summer fuck my life fuck my shit thank you so much nick um no i actually remember in a yearbook i don't know what this was I think it was in my eighth grade yearbook when all of my friends and I were like oh my god we're all going to different high schools this is so depressing we cut out locks of our hair no you guys this is why I'm saying

middle school Alex was on a different tilt I would cut out a lock of my hair get pieces of tape and tape it into my fucking friends yearbooks and be like hags a piece of me forever with you and I also we ended up doing it to our guy friends and let me just be clear Lori Cooper go down to the fucking basement and find it because I shit you not Kristen Courtney Christine Kelly Jackie all of their fucking hair is somewhere in my yearbook. What does that shit look like now? Um, shout out hags, motherfuckers. I love you.