Call Her Daddy - How to be the Ultimate Wingwoman

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

Join Alex and Laren for a fun and cozy New Years hang. The girls reflect on Alex’s most unhinged wingwoman experiences which included once trying to match Lauren with a wolf breeder, offering up Slim Shady’s apartment, and going full CIA agent to secure a hot man on the plane. They then discuss Lauren’s first date dilemmas and potentially trying ayahuasca. Enjoy!

What is up daddy gang it is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. It's so good. Wait let me try. How good is that? Oh that's fucking insane. I've never had strawberry with tequila. Yeah. That's insane. Cheers.

Cheers. Love you. Love you. Happy new year. Happy new year. Daddy gang, welcome back to another episode of call her daddy. If you are listening to this while you are getting fucked

by your ex boyfriend, Jan Juan, I am here to let you know that I am here with my best friend, Laryn. Hi daddy gang. We are ringing in the new year together. We are currently in Utah. We are skiing. We're being little ski bunnies.

I'm really proud because you and I have the same level of like ski ability. You kinda like can't go skiing with someone. I mean you can, but like. Then you'll hate them. Yeah, it sucks. We're kind of on can't go skiing with someone. I mean, you can, but like. Then you'll hate them. Yeah, it sucks. We're kind of on the same exact page. We're like, I want to do a blue.

I want to feel the wind in my hair. I want to have a two hour op-rey lunch. Absolutely, but I don't want a black diamond in it. No, no, no. But though Matt kind of bullies us. Like one. Yeah. One to two a day.

One to quarter. So it feels like we go to sleep, we're like, oh, like we're a little sore. Yeah, but Matt's always like, come on, let's go black diamond. And I'm. So it feels like we go to sleep, we're like, oh, we're a little sore. Yeah, but Matt's always like, come on, let's go Black Diamond. And I'm like, I don't really wanna be an adult on crutches. In my older age, I get a little nervous Nellie. Me too.

I used to be a daredevil, now I'm slow and steady wins the race. So Lauren and I are in Utah, and I would say that you and I have, first of all, happy new year, everyone. I hope you had the best New Year's Eve. If you- You wanna set them off with an intention? Ooh, I'm not really one for intentions,

but what I will say is this. I really don't like New Year's Eve. ["Done With You"] I really don't like New Year's Eve. Like I am someone from I think like even high school. I always hated New Year's Eve parties. It always freaked me out. I was always terrified people would be drinking and driving if I went to a party.

I was terrified to get on the roads. I was also always feeling like not happy if I was hungover in the morning. And I just never, like of course I've had nice New Years, but I feel like I'm really, really entering my get fucked up on a couple martinis at home and put my feet up in relax mode. It's about the company, not the plans. Lauren, a cheery old Santa over here.

We have spent quite a few New Year's together. I feel like we've spent, I think you're the friend that I've spent the most New Year's with, right? Mm-hmm. We have the one like iconic I'm thinking of. When is the last one that we spent together? Besides this one, I hope, I don't know what you're gonna say,

but I know what the one at Matt's house, Yes. When we moved to Los Angeles. Yes, it was COVID. So classic, I was just third wheeling Matt and Alex, and I was single. This was like the last time I was single. this is about like three years ago and Matt comes in so proud and he's like Lauren I'm gonna set you up with someone and it's

gonna be a fantastic night just tell them just get to the punchline so he doesn't really tell me anything this guy walks in he is a 45 year old divorcee who breeds wolves. And like the front end is fine, like 45, divorce, if anything, we're kind of like loving that for you. Yeah, down for that. But, oh, oh, and he brought a half wolf, half dog. No, he did. There was a wolf that walked into Matt's home

and we all kind of did, I'm not, I wonder if I have a fucking video. You do, you do. No, it's like, we're not exaggerating. This thing was like, massive. Three we all kind of did. I'm not, I wonder if I have a fucking video. You do, you do. Cause like we're not exaggerating. This thing was like three times the size of Henry. And this is the first time that Matt tried to set single Lauren up. And I remember Lauren's like eating her buffalo chicken dip

and she turns to me and she was like, we need to have a conversation after this. And I was like, no, I'm so sorry. She goes, no, no, no, it's Matt. What does Matt think of me, that I should be marrying or even fucking, even dating a wolf man? It was like pretty fucking bad. Have you ever had success setting someone up?

Okay, I feel like I've set a lot of my friends up for good like fucks. I don't know if any of my friends are currently dating. Like I feel like in high school and college, I was always setting people up. But in my adult life, I feel like there's no one that I've. They're gonna call you up during the wedding and be like, Alex Cooper is the reason we're married.

No, because I also think like it's so hard that like I don't live in the same city as a lot of my friends. So I'm like networking. I literally told you, move back to LA bitch. I have so many fucking suitors for you and. Okay, okay, I will give you credit. Like you have been coming through for me

and you have been wing-womaning me very, very hard lately. Thank you. You know what I'm thinking of? Oh, the literally the fact that you were in between a billionaire and like a hot man from Miami and you ditched them both. I forgot about that one. Okay, tell that story.

Okay, so first of all, Daddy Gang, I saw a couple comments of like, wait, Lauren is single. Yes, Lauren is single now. She's entering the new year, a single woman. Daddy Gang, do you want to wing woman me? DM Alex, send them the resume, a profile. You're not at a shortage of men, Lauren.

Like, here's the thing. Lauren was like, you know, upset about her breakup. And then she finally decided like, it's time to get after it. And I remember you- We were in New York City like a few weeks ago. Yes, but even prior to New York City, you have been having, even if it's not success,

like I'm so proud of you, you have been really putting yourself out there. I've been getting out there. You're on the apps, you're going on dates. You told me you went on a coffee date, you went on a cocktail date, you went on a dinner date that lasted like two and a half hours.

Yeah, we'll get there. You have a man that gave you all these plants. That's a long story. You have a coffee date, you went on a cocktail date, you went on a dinner date that lasted like two and a half hours. You have a man that gave you all these plants. That's a long story. You have a man that gave you a foot massage. Like you're making headway Lauren in your single life. But we were in New York City a couple of weeks ago. And I think I posted this on my TikTok, but Halle was hooking up with this billionaire.

And Halle was worried that the billionaire was just too nice for her. A classic. I honestly can't relate. I like nice guys. Yeah, no Lauren likes people to treat her well and so Halle was like, sweetie, you just take him. So it is the end of the night, we are all at this bar

and Lauren is in between the billionaire and now if anything it looked like you were favoring the man that wasn't even the fucking billionaire. This man from Miami who was another man that you like came over and you were like, oh like this is my friend Lauren and like you were smoozing me for me. I love you say smoozing it's schmoozing it's the best fucking statement ever. So Lauren is like hanging out schmoozing with all these people.

Everyone leaves the bar because I'm like I'm going home to my husband everyone's going to bed. It's like 1 30 a.m. so like all the girls we're with leave so I'm just at the bar and it's me and a table full of guys and I'm like this is a dream like Alex came through she put her reputation on the line She didn't ruin it and I literally woke up in the morning and I facetime Lauren and I'm like Which one did you go home with and what do you say to me Lauren? none of them because at like 2 a 2 AM, I'm like working it, laying my moves still.

And my friends call me, and they're like, Lauren, we have your location. We see you're at a bar around the corner. Come meet us. And I don't see my friends who live in New York City that often. So I get so excited. And I'm like, oh my god, OK.

And I just tell the guys, like, all right, bye, guys. And then I leave, and I wake up. And I'm like. Like in your drunken state, you cock block yourself and you chose your friends over men, which says a lot about you, which I love you because you are such a girl's girl. However, like you gotta choose yourself

in those moments hard. She was putting in hours of work with these people anyways. So she ends up not hooking up with anyone. I strike out. And we're like, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. So now all of a sudden we're kind of on this hunt and I don't know if anyone is doing this, but first of all, if you're in a fucking relationship

and your friend is single, your mindset, every coffee shop you walk into, every single work event you walk into, every single room you walk into is an opportunity to find a man for your friend, okay? I have you like dialed up differently. Like now I've never heard you comment on men as much as you are now.

You're like, oh my God, Lauren, like did you see him? Like Lauren, like that guy's, like look at that guy. Speaking of, let us tell you the story of what recently just happened. We get on the plane, okay, we're leaving New York City. We are like ravenous for a man for you, okay? I am like, I will find her dick. So we sit down, you guys,

and Lauren and I are sitting next to each other, and I see- On the airplane. On the airplane, and I see this guy that is in the last row in first class, and he has this like Michigan t-shirt on. He has kind of hair like Matt's. It's like rustled and hot, and it's like, ugh.

Like I'm like, this man is a vision, okay? I turn to Lauren, I grab her wrist and I say, Lauren, back right corner, prospect. She fakes, gets up, she looks up in the bin cabin, she's rustling through her fucking luggage. She sits down, she goes, he's the most gorgeous man I've ever fucking laid eyes on. How do we fucking get me in and around that asshole? Now we recruit the flight attendant. Flight attendant comes over to hand us our Bloody Marys. We said get in here. He was a gay ally. Okay, he turned to me. He said bitches, what do you need from me? I said you need to go back right left corner, back right left. Hello? You need to go back corner right

side and you need to find out if this man has a ring on. Is he fair game for me? He goes, he walks back, the flight attendant, such a fucking homie goes, girls, there's no motherfucking ring. Lauren and I are like, boom, boom, boom, okay, we're in. Now here's the thing about being on a flight and seeing a hot guy. That is to me, like one of the coolest fucking opportunities

of how you could meet your potential husband. You started planning the speech you were about to give at my wedding, if like you orchestrated this and like we thought I was gonna marry this guy. Because we started to get so excited because we're like, this is so cool. Like, and I wanna validate every single person. I hate when people preface it being like,

oh, how did you guys meet? And they're like, we met on a dating app or like we met on Instagram. I know so embarrassing. It is not embarrassing That is literally the most common way to meet people now. So first of all, it's not embarrassing However, there is something obviously in you that's like how fucking cool to meet someone out in the wild Like that's fucking ideal and cool Yeah, so we're starting to picture this and I'm like, you meet your husband on a plane, you guys hit it off. You then all of a sudden get, like this is magic. So we start strategizing daddy gang.

And I suggest you guys do this if you see a fucking hot person on a plane. I get it's also easier when you have a friend with you. If you're solo, it's a little intimidating. Lauren and I decide you need to write your name and your number on a napkin and we're gonna have the flight attendant bring the napkin over to the guy.

And my seat number so he could know it was who to look for. We decided we were gonna do it with an hour left in the flight because this flight was five fucking hours. And then we start stressing out because you were like, Alex, I don't look the part. I had, we were hungover as fuck because we were like, Alex, I don't look the part. I had like, we were hung over as fuck because we were out until like 3 a.m. the night before. I'm in like a sweat suit.

I have not an ounce of makeup on. We were pretty puffy. I literally was like, do we ask for ice? And like I like ice roll my face with like ice from like the plane. We look fucked up. And so we just kept Harold the dog going and Lauren goes one minute, gets up into the cabin, gets her makeup down. I need to post the fucking videos that we took

I'm like giving myself like a full beat like on the plane So Lauren starts contouring and she's contouring it up and she's looking so gorgeous and I'm looking at the highlight It was better. No, no, you looked gorgeous. Okay, and she's highlighting and all of a sudden on the loudspeaker We hear thank God we didn't take like a sleeping sudden on the loudspeaker, we hear, thank God we didn't take like a sleeping pill, over the loudspeaker we hear, everybody we're gonna have to de-board the plane. At first I thought this was a disaster because I'm like my husband's getting away but then.

And then I realized, hold on Lauren, we're de-boarding to get back on board, okay? This man is in the Delta One pods, which means he will be going to the Delta One lounge. We're going to go to the lounge, so we'll be able to almost like congregate with him and we can follow him. So everyone gets up, we get all of our stuff, Lauren's finishing her lip liner, and we beeline it to try to stay as close as humanly possible to this man as everyone is de-boarding the plane. We have a tail on him. We got off the plane and he stopped at the desk

to ask the agents if he goes back to the lounge, will they be able to give updates to the lounge? And something just came over me where I was like, I'm now seeing this man in his height. This man was like pushing six, three, six, four. He had some nice like joggers on, some like athletic sneakers., some athletic sneakers. Eekers, a little athletic top.

Maybe he was an athlete in college. Yes, he was giving athlete dick, I was in it for Lauren. So I shoved my way forward without even thinking what I was gonna do. And I put my body right up behind him. So when he turns around from the desk, talking to the woman at the kiosk,

I will be right dead center there, almost to the point where he makes physical contact with me. He turns around and almost bumps into me, and I go, oh hey, what did they say? And he looks at me and he goes, oh if you're in, no, this was when we knew he eyed us, because he was like, oh, if you're in Delta Lounge, we can all go back to the lounge.

And I was like, oh really, they said that? And he goes Lounge, we can all go back to the lounge. And I was like, oh, really? They said that? And he goes, yes, we can go. I said, amazing. Lauren then, just wanting to make any contact, comes in. She goes, sorry, what did they say? I'm like, bitch, you're standing right next to me. You just heard what he fucking said. But she wanted to make contact with him.

She's like, I wanted him to hear my voice, feel my presence. He said the same thing to Lauren. We go, okay, great. He starts walking to the lounge. Fast, he's walking quick. He was beelining it, which we didn't know why, but eventually we learned why.

He's beelining it to the lounge, almost like running to the lounge. We're on like a light jog following him. It's like, the lounge is big, so we're like, we can't let him get too much distance because we can't let him go to a corner of the lounge and we lose him. The lounge is bigger than the fucking airport.

At JFK, Delta One Lounge, Jesus fucking Christ, that thing is a fucking giant, giant. Metropolis. Metropolis. So we are running and then as we're running, I'm like, Lauren, we look so creepy. If he turns around and sees us running, like why are we running?

So we tried to be very covert, very undercover. We get to the lounge. We get to the lounge and there's a man at the front and he starts speaking to the man at the front of the lounge. So we immediately stop with him again. And I don't know if you guys have ever had this, but whenever there is a flight that has been delayed or something going on on an airline, you start to bond with the people around you, right?

You're in it together. You become so cozy and comfortable. It's almost sad when you leave after the flight because you were in this battle together. That's what we were trying to push on this man. Like I want this man to feel like we are his literal friends by the end of this and he hopefully wants to fuck Lauren. If he needs a shoulder to cry on.

We're here. So he turns to the guy and he's like, we're good to go. You guys will give us updates. And the person at the front of the lounge was like, yes, you're good. He goes, great. I got to rush. Do you know where the TVs are? I have to watch the football game. So naturally I'm

standing there, not a clue in the world what football game is on. I'm like, Taylor Swift, Patrick Mahomes. He's, he's like, I got to watch the game. Where's the TV? And I'm like, we were trying to watch the game too. Actually. We're like, we, yeah. Where is the game on? And he literally goes, oh, you guys want to get, yeah. Where's the team? We're like, we, yeah, where is the game on? And he literally goes, oh, you guys wanna get, yeah, where's the TV? I'm like, yeah, I really need to see this game. What quarter is it? Are there quarters?

Yeah, what quarter are we in? And so they like point us to the TV. This man beelines it to the TV. We start making our way to the TV as well. He places himself down. We look at each other and we go, we're being so fucking creepy. We need to reel it back.

We now know where this man is sitting. Let's go at least to the bar. You guys, this is where the story takes a turn for the motherfucking worst, okay? I would say an hour goes by. And we're like building it up in our heads more and more. I'm like, I'm gonna- Completely.

Fall in love. We're like, he went to Michigan, he's smart, he's attractive, he likes football. Oh my God, you're in a fantasy league yourself yourself Lauren. We thought maybe he'd be coming on like our New Year's trip with us. Completely. We thought it was going to be sparks flying. Every 30 minutes we had to go check in with the gate person and he kept going over and Lauren would walk over with him. She comes back over she goes hey it's getting a little more flirty every time I go back over it's progressing. We were making bets. We are making.

On when the flight would leave. We're making progress. I'm like, you're literally getting fingered in the bathroom tonight. Like you are actually entering the Mile High Club and I will be cheering you on. All of a sudden, our friend we run into at the airport, shout out Aubrey.

Aubrey walks into the airport and we're like, Aubrey, what are you doing here? I've got a flight at 11 o'clock at night. Aubrey, we found Lauren's husband. She goes, where is he? I want to get a glimpse of him. Because I say, this is one of the most gorgeous men you've ever seen in your life, okay?

We go, he's got a Texas hat on, a Michigan shirt on, go find him, he's in the back corner. She giddily saunters off, and all of a sudden, she comes back, and the face of happiness and excitement that she left with, she returns looking like she just saw a dead body. And I'm like, what, what's, Aubrey, what's wrong? Lauren's like, wait, did you see him?

And Aubrey goes, I have really, really, really upsetting news for you both. And we're both like, what? Do you wanna say it or should I say it? She goes, girls, Lauren, I'm so sorry, but he's gay. No, in this moment. We were like, no, no, no, no way. No way.

Like you have a great gaydar or something. I was like, this was full fucking flirting, I think. But maybe it was just flirting. I was laying my moves. We were making contact. We were making bets. Or was it just like him being a nice person because you wanted information on the flight? I don't know.

Maybe we're also like dick drunk where we're just like wanting to find you anything that we're literally. And it's like. We said what's the proof? We needed proof. So we said, Aubrey, how do you know he's gay, sweetie? He's watching fucking football over there. Like he's got a Texas hat and a Michigan sweatshirt.

That doesn't scream gay to me. Yeah, like come on. Like he's like, hit, yeah, come on. She goes, girls, I stood behind him as he was watching the game, and he was scrolling and scrolling and scrolling naked men on Instagram and zooming in to their pectoral muscles and their V lines.

And Lauren and I are dead silent, you guys, and we go, well, maybe he's a casting agent. Maybe he's a talent scout. Yeah, or like, maybe he's a casting agent. Maybe he's a talent scout. Maybe he's a talent model scout. Like we don't know, and Aubrey looks at us like, you dumb fucks, you dumb fucks, shut the fuck up. And we're literally like, there's no fucking way. But everything that had been built up into this moment,

you guys, we couldn't accept that he was gay. So we sent you in. So I sent myself in, and I'm like, I need to see it for my own fuckin' eyes. Like I couldn't, I at that point literally thought Aubrey was fucking with us. So I go to find him and I can't find him. And I'm like, fuck it, I need to go pee, let's go pee.

I walk to the bathroom, he had changed locations. And you guys, I see it for myself. I walk over and this man is still scrolling, scrolling. Gorgeous men, hot, sexy, chiseled. They look so fucking hot, but they're men. You know what I mean? And Lauren has a vagina and it just wasn't gonna work. So I come back to Lauren, I go, yeah, he's gay.

And Lauren's like, I put on makeup for nothing. So then Lauren, all of a sudden, guys, we're sitting at the bar, onto her right. There's a man to her left, Lauren literally goes, hey. Hi. Every fucking man. Oh, but then you know what? Aubrey leans in, Lauren, he's drinking a pink martini. He was all so gay, but then Lauren was like,

fuck, fuck, what the fuck, my gator? And then there was another man that came over that, like there was a lot going on and we got a little, we were a little upset for you. I didn't feel confident in my. We didn't feel confident whatsoever, but we had a lot of fun doing it. And this is what I will say.

It was so fun partaking in, although it was a fucking disaster, first advice to anyone in a relationship or married or engaged, whatever the fuck, like be a fucking homie to your girlfriends and put your neck out for them and put yourself physically in moments where you are stopping men in their tracks

for your fucking friend. Because what's so fucking great about, I'm realizing with the wing woman situation, is like it makes you look like the chill mysterious one. If I'm the fucking annoying freak being like, hey, what time did they say we can't go to the lounge? And then you're like, sorry, what did you say? It's such a good layup.

Be the fucking wing woman that your friend deserves. And for you, Lauren, you gotta keep on the fucking horse, bitch, you're fucking cruising. You've been a wing woman for me like many, many times before. You haven't been single that long in our life. No. You're more of a relationship girly.

Yes. The last time that I was single a while ago was for one month. Oh yeah, that was bad. Back in 2018. Back in the boondock days. Back in 2018, I was single for one month and I said, big Al, I wanna get out there, and I wanna...

Where did we find this man? Where do we catch? We found him at Catch. Oh my God, we went to Catch that night literally hunting for Dick. We literally went to Catch to find you a man, and we got so intoxicated, we both brought him back home. I met him, you set me up with him,

and I was gonna go home with him. And you were like, well, I don't want to be alone. And you were living at Slim Shady's house. I was living at my ex-boyfriend's, well, the time boyfriend house. Yes. And he was out of town. And you say, just bring him back to Slim's house.

And just mind you, I was acting like it was a guest bedroom. His roommate was fully another player on the team and you guys fucked in his teammates bed. And at the time I thought that the boyfriend, Slim Shady was cheating on me, which ends up he was, so I don't feel bad. But I in the moment, like looking back, you guys fucked on Rob's bed and then come. The morning I wake up and I'm like, I'm like so hungover and I'm so not into this.

And I go get in the bed with you and I'm like, Alex, like this guy needs to leave. Like I don't wanna like talk to him. Cause to be fair it was like 10 a.m. and he was like still lingering. So snoring. So. Disgusting.

We were like, what do we do? What do we do? What do we do? And I write him a note and I say, hey, so sorry, I had a great time, but I really need to die alone in peace, you gotta go. And I went, crept in, dropped the note. You stuck it under the door.

Gave it a little knock and then ran out. Like the fact that this man is in our home basically, and you're leaving this man a note to be like, please let yourself out. Lauren is then comes back in bed and we lock the door. We are in my ex-boyfriend's apartment. Who is an MLB player. There is memorabilia, signed autographs,

team jerseys like all over. So this like New York City, like 20 year old boys. Frat boy. Frat boy is gonna like wake up and be like, I'm in a penthouse of like an MLB player. And the funniest thing is you, when you first started to call her daddy, you like hinted at this story that like you brought someone back like for a friend to Slim Shady's when he was out of town. And this guy found you like this guy heard the story and DM'd you a picture of the note. He kept the note, you guys, for four, three years later.

Three years later, this man DM's me a picture and he goes, one of the greatest mornings of my life, I wake up after having great sex and I walk around and I just am literally realizing that I'm in a Met's pictures fucking apartment. But then I remember laying there with you and we're so hung over and I walk around and I just am literally realizing that I'm in a Met's Pitcher's fucking apartment. But then I remember laying there with you and we're so hung over and I'm like, there's no way he's gonna steal anything, right Lauren?

But we were so far gone that we had been like, you left a note, we were being so fucking freaks. And we just were like. I was like, I can't talk to anyone, like he just like needs to leave. And then I remember we heard the front door slam and we walked around and I'm like, honestly, I don't give a fuck if you stole anything,

I'll honestly take it with you. Everything is in check, but Slim Shandy was stole anything. I'll honestly take it with you. Like, everything's in check, but Slim Shandy was not happy. Oh, he was fucking livid. And I was like, yeah, but what pussy were you in this week? Okay, Lauren fucks in his bed. You were in a different girl and I'm the one that just gets fucked.

Everyone got fucked, but Alex. So that was, yeah, I was a pretty good wing woman that night. I take pride in being a good wing woman and I'm very, very excited for this new venture venture for you and I'm very happy that you're enjoying the single life because I think that you sometimes understandably when you're single and a lot of your friends are in relationships I feel like almost all your friends are in relationships right? Like pretty much every friend is in a relationship engaged or married. I think that can be hard where you're like

not looking forward to being single only because you're like fuck I don't have that many single friends. And I feel like you are having a lot of fun with it and you're being really open to going and meeting a lot of different people. Yeah, I will say the one positive is being the only single one.

Everyone's kind of excited to wing woman. Everyone's like, ooh, let me live vicariously through you a little bit. I love that. So that's a fun aspect. And another thing I will say that to daddy gang who's maybe on the verge of, I know I need to end a relationship or wanting to end something and being scared about starting over at 30. Something I've realized is dating at 30,

because the last time I was single I was 26, dating at 30 is so, so much different than dating at 26. I feel like, at least from my experience so far, everyone is just so straightforward and the games are really, really done. It's not like, am I gonna like, obviously I'm not just gonna text people, there's some coyness to it.

Of course. But it's not games and it's straightforward and everyone's just like, yeah, I'm looking for someone and I'm not fucking around, which is like, So nice. It's refreshing, it's easier. ["Dumb Dumb"] I feel like there's only a certain amount of years you can play the game until it actually gets boring.

Like I actually- Now if someone's playing the game, I'm like, okay, well, it's not cool anymore. Right, you're like, I don't care. So next, at 26 if someone's playing the game, I'd be like, okay, like maybe like I'm a little bit into this. Well again, because when you're younger in your 20s, like who the fuck wants to get married and settle down?

Some people, but not me at that point. I was like, I wanna feel the thrill. I wanna be getting my head bashed in the mattress. I wanna be getting flipped upside down. And then I wanna be getting ghosted the next day. I wanna have my heart ripped out of my chest and I wanna do it my head bashed into the mattress. I wanna be getting flipped upside down and then I wanna be getting ghosted the next day. I wanna have my heart ripped out of my chest and I wanna do it all over again and then some. And then when you get a little older,

you're kind of like, I literally don't have time. I have taxes, I have a life, I have a family, I have fuckin' trips, I have work, I have a bunch of fuckin' shit and all my friends are finding their person. I wanna be intentional about what I like intentional about what I'm doing and where I'm spending my time. Like if I'm gonna leave my house and like put on makeup

and like go out on like a Sunday or like a Tuesday, like let's be straightforward and like not waste each other's time here. Completely. Actually though, I've run into two issues with my dating game that I would love your opinion on. Oh my God, hit me. Okay, issue number one,

I cannot end a date under three hours. I have had no date go under three hours. The longest so far being a first date lasting eight hours. Wait, sorry, I was just swallowing. Did you just say you went on a date that lasted eight hours? Lauren, what does that even mean? What time did you start the date? I think we went to dinner at 6.30.

What time did you get home date? I think we went to dinner at 6.30. What time did you get home? 2 a.m. No, no. You're disturbing me right now. Are you getting married? No. Did you want to see the man again? I don't know.

Wait. Only Lauren being like, I spent eight hours with a man and I don't even know if I want to see him again. I thought you were about to tell me that you literally are in love with someone. You spent eight hours with a man and I don't even know if I wanna see him again. I thought you were about to tell me that you literally are in love with someone. You spent eight hours with a man. So my issue is.

You can't end it. I can't end it because in my mind, I'm like, what if they're a little nervous right now? Or like, what if like the spark's about to hit? And like, while I'm here, like, I might as well just like give it like, let it run its course a little bit and like see if something pivots

I get what you're saying sometimes I do that with interviewing where I'll be talking to someone like the beginning is like light work You're like, ooh, you're a little nervous. Let me throw you a softball. Yeah, but by the end once you're jiving You could ride off into the sunset Okay, wait, hold on. Is this the plant man? No, I can't can we just quickly tell that story? Okay, okay. You're fucked up. You had a very long date.

I go on a very long first date with this guy. Eight hours. And we're drinking at a bar and I just moved and I'm telling him like, he's like, what'd you do earlier that day? And I'm like, oh, I went plant shopping. And like, I got myself a new plant. Naturally. And he's like, oh like, oh, I went plant shopping. And like, I got myself a new plant. Naturally.

And he's like, oh, well, like, I'm moving tomorrow. And like, I don't know what to do with my plants. Like, do you want to come and like get all of my plants? And like, you can have all of my plants. And I'm like, fantastic. Like, and drunk, you're like, free plants? Are you fucking kidding me? Yes.

So then what happens though? So I go over and I end up leaving and I don't leave with the plants but then the next day He gave you a foot massage. Yes No, can I just tell that part It's so good Lauren. It's so good. This man's gonna love this you think Lauren He's gonna love it and it's not even like offensive. It's hilarious Lauren, he's gonna love it. And it's not even like offensive, it's hilarious. So what, and tell me, correct me if I'm wrong.

Okay. Lauren says she's in this man's apartment. They're having a nightcap, a nightcap. You've been on seven dates at this point in one night. And Lauren sits down and how does he ask for your foot? Wait, does he just take your foot? Yeah, he just grabs it. He grabs her feet, to which she's like this.

And Lauren in her head was like, please for the love of God, no, no, no. I hope he doesn't have a foot fetish. Please don't have a foot fetish. Please don't have a foot fetish. He takes off her sock, takes off the other sock. And he starts- Thank God I had a pedicure. And he starts massaging her feet. And what do you do in that moment? Like, oh.

I go, ooh. I guess you're fucked up. So it's like. Yeah, I was drunk at that point. I was just like, oh, okay. I think I was just in my head like, please don't pop a toe in your mouth. Please don't pop a toe in your mouth, please don't pop a toe in your mouth.

Honestly, that is like a dream. If a man's gonna massage, I get it, on a first date it's a little much, but a man that's willing to give acts of service. Guys, I've been out there, I've been having experiences. No, she's living. So then the next morning you wake up because you don't sleep there.

I leave. You don't hook up more than a make out. No. You get home hook up like more than a make out. No. You get home and then, and then, and then she wakes up in the morning and he shows up to your apartment with like 45 plants. Guys, I have really nice plants now. Like I have so many plants,

like I don't know what to do with them. No, and plants are expensive, like good plants. Yes, and they're like, they came with pots. Oh my God. And like, I've never owned this many plants now, and like now I feel like I'm like a plant mom. So did he just leave Chicago, he's gone? Yeah.

No one. He doesn't live in Chicago anymore. Here's the thing, diamonds, plants, it's all in the same realm, okay? If you can get something from a first date, you're winning. You got a foot massage and plants. Oh, he brought me cheese knives too. So he just gave you all the shit that he was getting rid of.

Here's the thing, I'm really proud of you. I feel like you're having good experiences, but you need, I agree. I think you are- How fast do you think you, like, when should I like start cutting it? To be fair, I feel like back in the day- Three hours is fair?

Three hours is a long fucking time, Lauren. But here's the thing. I do think when you're single, there's also something to be said about like on a Wednesday night, on a Thursday night, if you didn't have plans with your girlfriends, like yeah, I guess you could be home like reading Akitar. But like I finished it. Oh, well then exactly. So like what the fuck else are you doing? We read our fucking series. We were, you're done binging our shows. Like, but the point is, is you, I feel like, I feel like you are someone that like, you like to hang out with people.

I think that's also the thing. Like I've been really fortunate, like all the dates I've gone on, like while there might not have been like enough chemistry to go on a second date, like they were all like lovely people. Yeah, and you're like getting to know them. And like, and myself. Period.

Okay, Lauren. Yeah. This is my advice to you. Number one, if you're going on a weekday date, do you do those often? I never do Friday or Saturday. I'm a big Sunday date person. Okay, so I feel like if you're doing either a Sunday or you're doing a weekday thing,

I think that, cause I was gonna say go for drinks, but like make them fucking pay for a good dinner. Like get yourself a good steak and fill up. You know what I mean? So I think, cause I get it when people like just go for drinks, it's easier to get out of. Yeah, but I've been doing that and then I'm like having drinks for three hours and now I'm like

I'm really hungry so I might as well eat. Exactly, so I think, I already know you and I was the same like go for the fucking dinner. I do think you can always say, I have an early morning tomorrow, and I know that's not that fun, but you're still gonna have a drink and you're gonna hang. I do think you just have to almost cut yourself though

because what I also recognize is first dates are so fun, but you don't wanna blow your fucking load in the first date where you almost are kinda like, I don't really need anything more. We kinda talk about everything, what else is there to do almost. I've had those you almost are kinda like, I don't really need anything more. We kinda talk about everything, like what else is there to do almost. I've had those dates where I'm like, that was so fun, but I almost don't need to see this person again

because I don't see a future with them and I kind of know everything about them now, it's over. I think you wanna still feel like you have more questions about someone. So I would say you just have to eat at the normal fucking pace and by the third fucking course, Lauren, get the fucking check and go home.

But you're going for nightcaps. That's where I need to cut it off. You need to cut it off. No nightcaps after dinner. No, okay, what's the other problem you're going with? I keep thinking that everyone's trying to kiss me goodbye and they're not. And so like they're going for a goodbye hug and I kiss them.

And it's really fucking awkward. So you're the problem. Lauren's like, they're not trying to kiss me but I feel like it so I go in for it first. I think what you have, that is actually so fucking fair. One was so bad I literally ran away and got in the Uber. Wait, what happened? Like we were like going for the hug

and I thought he was gonna try to kiss me so I'd go and I'd kiss him and it was just like. And I literally, my Uber was there and I literally, just like turn around and I just get in the Uber. I don't say anything, I just turn around. Lauren, you just speed away. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, no, no, this is what I think you need to do,

which I actually completely agree. First dates when you're vibing with someone, also I like a first date make out because I like to be like, maybe if the conversation was average or mid, the make out, if it's so good, it makes you be like, maybe I'll go on a second date with you.

You know what I mean? That's an added point. Are you sexually attracted to the person? So I'm all for a little make out on the first date. But if you don't want to do the make out, I think- Well, I've been initiating all of these and saying, what are you doing? But.

Lauren, I think you need to, when you go to hug them, goodbye. You need to hug. I can't believe we're doing this. Hug and then it's a, it's a hug. It's a one, two, whatever the fuck, hug. Grab their butt. And then grab the ass and of finger the dingleberries

And kind of pinch his asshole hair No, you hug and the minute you're done with the hug you kind of You you turn your head away from them and you kind of pull back. You're probably kind of doing a linger Okay ready hug me. I hug. Okay, you hug. And then I make eye contact. Lauren, Lauren, you're literally in my nostril hair.

You literally are, no, Lauren. Okay, okay, wait, I have a solution. You have to go like this. You go like this, and then you go like that. Oh, then you, have you ever hugged an uncle? Okay, wait, so this was really distressing me, and I was talking to my one guy friend in Chicago, I'm like, has this ever happened to you?

Like, this is an epidemic over here for me. And he's like, Lauren, here's my rule that I live hard and fast by. On the first date, if a kiss does not happen during the actual date, he's like, I never kiss goodbye. Because a goodbye kiss, there's so much pressure and it's so forced. So he was like, now sit.

And he's like, so if you're sitting. We're doing a tutorial. You're sitting and talking. And he's like, if your knees are touching, you go in for the kiss during the date, like then, normal, natural, chemistry. But he's like, if it doesn't happen on the actual date, never on the goodbye.

Okay, this is good confirmation. So here's the thing though. I'm gonna rebuttal a tiny bit. The goodbye, if it's the literal goodbye, when you are like, here I go, and you you're like hands on the fucking taxi cab or Uber. You're like, I guess I'm going now. And he's like, bye. Yeah, get in the fucking car, okay?

You're trying to like elongate to a four hour situation. Like just one more night cab. I don't want to go home just yet. But I think, for example, after dinner, Matt and I on our first date, it was a back alley make out. How I knew it was gonna be a back alley make out is there was a lot of sexual tension throughout the dinner. Okay, this is my mistake.

There's no sexual chemistry or no sexual tension and then I try to plan a kiss on him. No, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. This is good, This is good info. So you're just not reading the fucking room. I don't know what I'm doing. No I think you're just having fun. I'm trying to give them a good time. No and you're having fun and you're having fun. You're a sexual being. You're seeing if you can. Medium to like pent up. No. And I. You're kinda like, you're kinda looking at them

like legs open like this man is like, we literally fought at dinner and our views are completely different. We literally talked about like politics and like your job and like there was nothing sexual going on. Lauren. I'm not doing that, don't worry.

No, no, no, listen, I think it's so fucking attractive when the woman makes the first move. However, you know, we don't want you to get a reputation around Chicago through like, yeah, this fucking bitch. I need to clean up my act. You gotta get it together, no, have fucking fun. But no, I think if it's at the end of the night, there's something really steamy and hot about this built

But to be fair on my first date with Matt he literally reached across the table at one point and held my hand and he was Like can I kiss you yet? So we had been locked down. I know that was like fucking hot. I literally was like no Okay, so that's a really good tangible example. Yes tension He's like touching me. He's like hold my hand, he was like can I kiss you yet? I said no, so I knew we were gonna kiss. If this man is given, it is a job interview through and through and he's trying to network baby, and this is giving more LinkedIn,

yeah I think you don't give them the kiss. Don't plant one on them. Don't plant one, unless you're in the mood and you're horny that night, you know what? Bring them fucking back. Rarely are men gonna be like no, no, no, no, I don't wanna see you in your vibrator tonight in your bed. Like, all right, like,

I think you gotta decide what you wanna do. I'm so excited that you're thriving and you're single. Honestly, you're gonna find your guy. ["Darling, I'm gonna love you, I'm gonna love you baby Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, for like an hour and a half on one of them. What? Lauren, connect four? Where the fuck did you find a connect four thing? At a bar. Oh my God, I thought you like brought them back to your apartment. No.

Okay, wait, that's cute. Yeah, cute, cute. I love games. Okay. Okay, so I have a game and it's New Year's theme since today is New Year's Day. And it's stuff things that people normally do during the new year. Oh.

And we, I'm going to name them. Okay. And then if you could see yourself doing it in the new year, have a drink. Go back to your natural hair color. Absolutely not. Oh, I'll drink. I'm kind of doing that right now. By choice or by... Or ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha When was the last time you had your natural hair color? Never. I have put in so much fucking work. No, actually though. No one will ever know. When was the last time you had your natural hair color?

High school, not even. Not even. Eighth grade. When did you first dye your hair? Summer going into freshman year of high school and I will never fucking go back bitch and you will never see with my natural hair unless there's a gun to my fucking head.

And even when I'm fucking pregnant one day, wigs up in this bitch. Okay, next. Okay. Take a drink if you would get a dog in the new year. Oh my God, Matt literally will kill me. I make jokes to Matt being like- I could see you getting a third.

Do we want a third? And he's like, you are mentally unstable if you think we need a third. Matt's like, give me a fucking baby before another fucking dog, fair. I don't think we need another third dog. I would fucking love nothing more than a dog, but I live in an apartment building.

I travel too much. No dog. No dog for me I live in an apartment building. I travel too much. No dog. No dog for me. No dog for right now. I just live off Bruce. Yes, you love Bruce. Take a drink if you would go on a solo trip in the New Year. I will drink to that. I'm too scared. Like, I can't. Everything in my body.

Our best friend Kristen goes on solo trips all the time. She just got back from an 11 day in Nicaragua. And I literally looked at her and I'm like, you are everything I wanna be, Kristen, but there isn't a bone in my body that could get myself on a plane and go somewhere and not think that there is a man gonna come through that door to kill and harm me.

I can't go on a solo trip, I'm too scared. It's on my little short bucket list that I have before I get in a relationship. I think that would be a good experience for me. Like I kinda wanna follow in Kristin's footsteps and do like a surfing retreat, but the issue is the last time I went surfing, I broke my foot.

Yeah, like you're gonna go, maybe you'll go on a solo, but like I'm gonna have someone trailing you. Yeah. I'm gonna get you a security guard or something. I'm just so, it sucks being a fucking woman. Like it fucking sucks that we have to think about that shit. Like I remember at one point I said to a guy at one point, like I could never go on a solo trip

and they were like, why? And I was like, why do you think? And they're like, I literally don't know. And I'm like, oh, okay. That's the difference between man and woman. Continue. Have a drink if you would get a tattoo in the new year. Absolutely not. I think if you see me getting a tattoo

it's like a little bit of like a pink flag that I'm having a minty B. Oh I think that's like a fucking blazing red flag Lauren that's not pink. You? Not like for anyone but for me personally. No no no if you're getting a tattoo I know I gotta somehow find a way to contact your therapist. No, I think we're not tattoo girls. We've just never had it. I don't have a single tattoo. You don't have a single tattoo. You would pass out because you can't do needles. When I heard the vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv Like, right now, what would you get? This is why I know I should never get a tattoo, is because, like, literally if there was a gun to my head,

I'm telling you, I have nothing. I have nothing I would want to permanently put on my body. I have nothing. Nothing. I've, like, lightly thought about it, and I'm like, like, maybe something to honor my dad, but, like, I don't want to be the girl with the dead dad tattoo. No, I think you can just, like, look at pics and pray to him. Like, I don't want to be the girl with the dead dad tattoo. No, I think you can just like look at pics and pray to him. RIP, Papa.

Love you, Rob. Yeah, no, I don't think we're tattoo girls. No. Okay. Love you, Papa. If only your dad knew. Love you, Papa. Have a drink if you would get Botox in the new year. Please, multiple drinks. Fucking facelift coming soon, I hope.

No, I'm just kidding. I've never gotten Botox, but I want to. I've got enough for both of us. And I'm gonna do it when I visit you in LA, because I don't want someone to fuck me up. I think you can, I've seen some eyebrows go a little skew. Oh, I've had it.

Trust me, go back to my Forbes conference. I wanted to fucking end it all. I think that you should absolutely, when you feel ready, get Botox in your forehead. It literally makes your skin look so nice. Also, there is a trend right now, and I am so interested. I know the certain celebrities that have done it.

I've been zooming in, zooming in. There is a trend right now of the lower facelift that everyone is getting. What is that? It's like you just, you're not old enough to get the full facelift, so all these celebrities are getting these lower facelifts that it just pulls it basically.

Like this? From a little lower than, like right where your nose kind of is ending, and they just pull everything up. So whenever you see these people on the red carpet and it's like their jaw looks so fucking snatched, one I've heard that they're getting these things injected to give them a nicer jaw line. It's like literally a fake implant thing of a jaw.

Like filler or like? An actual fake thing apparently. Oh. And then on top of that, they're snatching it with a facelift. So I'm not getting one, but like when do we get facelifts? At like 50, 60?

Oh sooner. Sooner. Okay, 60? Oh, sooner. Sooner. Okay, so we'll go together. Matt will drop us off when we're like. Matt will take care of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just still be third wheeling you guys. No, it'll be perfect.

We'll all get facelifts together. Matt's like, I don't want one. I'm like, you're getting one. Okay, so yes, Botox in the future, obviously. Tomorrow, please. Okay. Have a drink in the new year if you would try ayahuasca Absolutely, not like I'm curious like I think it sounds really intense. I don't want to shit my pants I already do it I don't want to shit and throw up and you know me with drugs. Yeah, I'm not a drug girl

I think I could handle it you could handle you and Kristen could do ayahuasca together But it's it sounds, what do you think, say you wouldn't shit your pants. What spiritual journey do you think you would go on in your ayahuasca journey? Oh my fucking God. Like, I know this is like lame to say, but like I'm just not that type of person. Like if I have a problem, I know this is lame to say, but I'm just not that type of person.

If I have a problem, I literally just, I address it head on quickly and I keep it moving. I don't feel like I'm someone that's the nature and the sand and I need to put my feet in the ground and get the sand. I don't know. I feel like I'm every week talking. Would you talk to Nana maybe?

No, I don't give a shit about my grandma. I love her, but I wouldn't be like, Nana. I love, no, I give a shit about her my grandma like I love her but I wouldn't be like Nana like I love but no I give a shit about her but not in that way I wouldn't be like Nana like my Nana died I had a great life with her she was awesome I loved her but like I don't need to talk to her I guess I would like to know if she's like sitting in mercury we always wondered if she was like bad behaved that she never got straight up to heaven. Not mercury, purgatory. Oh my God, oh my God. I'm not even drinking. No, I always wondered like is Nana,

Nana's definitely in heaven at this point. She went through some trauma. I have no interest in talking to my grandmother. I mean, it wouldn't be bad, but like I just don't think I'd be like, I need to go through drugs to do that. You know what I mean? So I think for me,

No ayahuasca on the docket. I don't think I need that. What do you, who would you connect with? Your dad? Like not to be the dad dad girl, but like. I know, but would you want to? I don't know. Like do you want to like connect?

Like that sounds like it could ruin my life. You're like, I kind of want to keep him where I kept him. Yeah. I feel like we're not going on that journey. I don't see Ayahuasca in the next year for me. But if you do, come and sit down and talk to us about it. I will, I'll let you guys know. Perfect, thanks.

Wait, do you talk to dead people in ayahuasca? No, I think in ayahuasca, you confront whatever demons you haven't confronted. And maybe that's having a conversation with a dead person who you feel you didn't have closure with. No, Nana's definitely not haunting me. But now that I think about it, who is dead and haunting me? I guess no one.

So I guess, oh, confront the demons. Like your inner demons. Do you have any inner demons that you wanna talk to us about today? Oh my God. You know. Happy New Year everyone. This is not the episode to talk about that. No I've got some demons, but like I don't want to face them.

You want to keep them locked up today? Yeah pent that shit up. Okay. Lock it away. Demons are staying locked up for the year 2025. Yeah we'll connect back maybe in 2026. Let that shit rip. That's the year of confronting demons.

Love love love. Um. Is that it? Yeah do you have a New Year's resolution? I have no New Year's resolutions I will be honest. I have so many fucking goals that I am setting for myself regard to work and career. And I feel like I've never felt more motivated and excited for this year. I feel like there's been so many changes that are coming in a fabulous way. I'm gonna roll out a bunch of new stuff with SiriusXM that's gonna give the Daddy Gang more content, which is very exciting. And I know I've been saying that for a while, guys, but it's coming.

It's just basically, it's starting in February, essentially, so I haven't been able to talk about it, because you guys know I love a good little tease, and I love a good little promotion, and I love a good little drop to get your panties fucking wet. So I have a lot of things I'm excited to give to the Daddy Gang because they have been so supportive of me and this show and I wouldn't be here without them. So I think 2025 is gonna be the year of doing everything for the Daddy Gang and connecting with as many people

as I humanly possibly can. And that's literally why I'm coming out with this drink. Like when I think of the unwell lifestyle, I totally see people online being like, I don't wanna be unwell in my 30s. And I'm like, me either, like me either at all. But unfortunately like life isn't fucking perfect. We're all fucking exhausted,

whether it's from work or you're drinking or you're sober or your life is fucked or you're's from work or you're drinking or you're sober or your life is fucked or you're exhausted from work or it's just life. Children. Children, single, dating, kissing random men like Lauren, like we're all a little fucking unwell. And I think this drink was just like another extension of what the daddy gang and I have built is this community.

And now to be able to like physically hold something that can help people when they're feeling shitty, I'm like, that's pretty fucking cool. And I never knew what the first thing that I would come out with would be. And now this feels so natural to me having been an athlete my whole life. Hydration has been in my life my whole life,

but I also am not a fucking athlete anymore. And I sit on my fucking ass more than I work out. And I want something that doesn't make me feel like shit if I didn't hit the gym that day. Or you can have it in the gym. So it's available guys now in Target. If you wanna go buy it and try it, it's so yummy. Lauren, what did you say about it

when you tried the cocktail version? I had many cocktail versions at the launch party in New York, but those were just a bartender making them. This, I just poured tequila and the strawberry, and it blends so well. And Lauren goes, Alex, this is gonna be the cocktail at my wedding. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna sponsor your wedding. On hydration sponsoring my wedding. I will stock you up, but no, I'm really excited and yeah, I think 2025 is gonna be a great year. How do you feel about 2025? I ended 2024 making a really, really hard decision to end my relationship that I'm really proud of. So I want to go into 2025 not settling

and being really, really fucking intentional, and not getting antsy, not getting impatient, not feeling like shit about myself, and just taking my time, and just not settling. That's my resolution. I love that for you. That's my resolution. I love that for you so much.

I also think personal-wise for 2025 like I feel like Matt and I are in such a good place and we always joke like we you know like we love working we are so passionate about what we do but I feel like we did a really good job in 2024 like being so intentional about the time that we spent together and that had nothing to do with work. So I think I want to take into 2025, what we kind of like laid the groundwork of 2024, like we can love working, we can be passionate, but what really also matters to me is my relationship with my husband.

And I think I want to continue to be so intentional about the moments where we are offline and quiet and go and have good sex at a resort and enjoy our time together. And yeah, I'm really excited. I'm excited for two. So Lauren and I are about to go to a bar. That's why Lauren was pre-gaming.

I was like taking a break because my fucking throat was hurting, but now I'm gonna start ramping it up. Let's have a little fucking tequila and unwell hydration. And I really hope Daddy Gang that you listen, if you were someone that was at home by yourself on New Year's Eve, I have been there. I have cried in my bed and been like, this is the worst fucking New Year's Eve of my life.

And a lot of times I feel like those nights are what leads you to the best fucking year yet because there's nowhere to go but up. And I know it sounds depressing, but like I have fucking been there through the trenches, sobbing, laying in my fucking childhood bed, being like, I'm a loser, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing next.

And it's only up from there. So if you're at a low right now, trust me when I say, bitch, this is your fucking year, let's get it. If you were someone that had the best fucking time, I'm so happy for you that you have people around you that you're able to just enjoy your life with these people and keep investing in your friends.

Don't center a man or whatever to your life. Like make sure you're giving all of the energy to all of your relationships. I feel like that's another thing in 2025. Like we've been so good about. You've been so intentional. I was even talking about you to like my Chicago friends. And I was just like, I really admire like,

you've been so intentional with your relationships this past year. Well, I love you. And Lauren and I are going to go eat some burgers and get a little tipsy whipsy. So we're at altitude, baby. Oh, yeah. I love you all.

This is about to be the best fucking year yet, bitches. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Goodbye