Call Her Daddy - How to Have an Orgasm

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

Dr. Emily Morse joins Call Her Daddy to help you finally achieve (or upgrade) your orgasm. What’s the deal with vibrators? Should everyone own one? Emily brought all her sex toys and is here to talk you through, step-by-step, how to explore and maximize your orgasm - with and without a partner. Alex and Emily discuss how to revive your sex life, admit you’ve been faking orgasms, and communicate with your partner about sex. Get ready to learn some new moves and incorporate cock rings, vibrating wands and masturbation sleeves into your sex. Whether you’ve never had an orgasm or are looking to elevate your sex life, Alex and Emily break it all down.

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy dr emily morse welcome back to call her daddy so excited to be here today i was like who is gonna be the right person to sit in this seat and help my listeners and my viewers understand how to have an orgasm, how to enjoy masturbating, how to enjoy sex toys in a way that's not intimidating. How many episodes have you done on how to have an orgasm in your life? Oh my God. I've been doing this for almost 20 years. I would say hundreds.

Okay. And still women have a hard time orgasming. And I think what happens sometimes is when you listen to a podcast you're going to watch this episode I really want daddy gang you to be really like tuned in and even if you have to like listen to this alone so you can really absorb what we're saying because I think sometimes you listen you're like oh that sounds great I want to try that but then do you actually try it do you actually like implement what we're saying so today maybe you listen to this in your bedroom maybe you dim the

lights and take a few minutes take a few minutes lock the door okay maybe don't listen to this at work or listen to it work but then rush home yeah you need exactly and wait to listen a few times it's great so to give you everyone that does not know Emily you are a sexologist a podcast host and we are here Emily to ask you questions of all things sex right so recently I did a poll on an episode and I asked who has a vibrator and 30 percent of people said that they do not own a vibrator okay okay that today we're gonna buy vibrators, right? I understand. Yeah. Do you think every single person should own a vibrator? Absolutely. I mean, I don't, here's the thing about vibrators. There's such a stigma around vibrators. I think that there's this notion

that if you have to use a vibrator, it's a crutch or my orgasm didn't count. I'm talking about vulva owners, right? If you have a vulva, which is the external part of your vagina, as I call them my show, because it's like, you don't know about gender, you can just say vulva, right if you have a vulva which is the external part of your vagina as I call them my show because it's like you don't know about gender you can just say vulva right and if you have a penis you're like I should be able to make you orgasm with my penis alone and if you have to use something then there is a problem this was a mistake there's something wrong with you or ultimately guys were thinking oh there's something wrong with my penis I didn't make you orgasm and that vibrators seem like they're somehow like a weakness. I believe that's still the stigma.

And I think it's ridiculous. Only 20% of women, people with a vulvas, are going to have an orgasm with anything at all that has to do with a penis. 20%. The only reason why that happens is because it's, there's a lot of it, it's your anatomy. It's the way you are literally born that if your clitoris is closer to your vaginal opening, you might be more likely to have an orgasm during penetration where a penis goes in your vagina. But most people with a vagina are going to orgasm from three things.

A mouth, fingers, or a toy. Where's the penis? Not on the list. We love, and here's the thing, we love your penis. It feels so good inside of us. We love to touch it. We even love to lick it. We love blowjobs.

It's all wonderful. But there's been misinformation and we are here to correct it. We're here to correct it that there's nothing wrong with it. You're not broken. I mean, I started my career because I was faking orgasms for the first like 10, through my 20s, my 30s, half my 30s, faking them because I was like, oh, well, if I watch porn, they're orgasming in like three to five minutes. The penis went into the vagina and she had an explosive orgasm. They rolled over. They like watched TV TV or pizza and the sex was over and I thought something was wrong with me

because I couldn't orgasm during penetration so I came to find out there was a lot of ways to do that but it took me like like saying like I don't need anyone in the room right now I need to focus on myself I need to learn to prioritize my pleasure. I want to know from your experience, why do you think some people are so intimidated by masturbating alone? I think that it's our culture. I think there's a lot of shame around masturbation. I think that mostly it is stress. It is trauma and it's shame. Like those are what I call the pleasure thieves. These are all the things in our life that keep us from pleasure. We never see women masturbating. Like all the culture we had growing up, right? Pie like he's gonna take his dick and stick into a pie and like masturbation is like men do it and it's something that men do and so it's kind of gross and usually we're

laughing at them because they were caught masturbating and so but it was always kind of accepted or we knew guys were doing it. For women I don't know about you I never saw like an example of like a woman masturbating and being celebrated. So that's one thing. That's the cultural part. We don't see it. The second part is that a lot of us grew up in homes where it was shamed at a point where we might not even remember. There's like an early infraction. Like maybe we were even like three years old and we were like, maybe we were like doing something. We're like, had our hand in our pants and somebody came by. I was like, don't do that. That's wrong. That could be your grandmother. It could have been your parent because they were embarrassed the neighbors over and you

had your hand on your pants but you were three so in that moment you were completely shamed and so for the rest of your life you're like well touching myself is wrong we all have sexual needs masturbating is healthy it's sort of a quarter sort of being sexually healthy and then being healthy overall I don't want to like ignore the population of women who did have an orgasm, humping their pillow in the shower, riding a horse when they were like six or seven or three. There's a lot of stories like that. Like, but I had an orgasm. And so that did happen for them, but that might've been seen as masturbation, but they didn't know what to do with it. Maybe their parents told them to stop, or they just felt bad about it. They felt so good good but they felt bad because no one said to him yay

wasn't that good so that's also another part of it you brought some tools to help the daddy gang there's hopefully millions of people are going to listen to this and be like leaving here feeling way more confident what did you what's over there what's in the bag i bought you a bag it was a special care package because oh she's got a whole ass trunk okay okay okay and this is like from almost 20 years of like doing this work where i was like i know that we're breaking it down and we have to come with the kit there's a vulva I can see happening over here. Because we have to start with the vulva puppet. Okay.

Because we said that most women do not ever look at their vulva. They don't, like, I believe if there was, like, a lineup and you had, like, 100 vulvas on the wall, could you pick yours out of a lineup? Could you be like, that's mine. We've talked about talked about this I don't think so I don't think penis owners could either I used to say to guys too and they were like oh I because we don't want to look because we're disconnected and it's shameful so the other reason why we don't have orgasms often or we don't enjoy sex as much is because we walk around in like maybe we feel sexy right in certain

ways but then when it comes in the bedroom we're like I am completely disconnected from this part of my body and I've never even actually looked at it and I don't even know how it operates and maybe I even hate it because I heard that I my labias are weird or whatever it is so first of all I think this is actually we're gonna get super basic here yeah let's do it and I definitely need to correct myself at times. A lot of times we're just saying the vagina, right? The vagina is the internal part. Can you explain the vulva? Actually, where most of the magic happens,

because you know earlier I was saying that during penetration, that's not where you're going to have an orgasm. You might have an orgasm that way if you have a lot of clitoral stimulation. So, okay, so this puppet is full on. So this is the vulva, which is where the magic is happening. So they often say that the vulva, for years we've been saying this as sex educators, that there's 8,000 nervings in the clitoris. We have 8,000 nervings in the circumcised penis has 4,000. Well, came to find out literally three weeks ago that there might be 10,000.

So we are walking around with these body parts that have so much pleasure. And the only reason the clitoris exists, the only reason is for pleasure. But we've never celebrated, we've never talked about it. And this is what I want you all to know. This is the labia. The labia also have a lot of sensitivity of it. But let's just start with the clitoris, this magic button. And we often think like, wow, there's 8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings. And yeah, there are. However,

it has legs. So there's an internal part. So behind the labia, it kind of looks like a wishbone. There's an internal structure of the clitoris that has legs. So there's the top of the clitoris. It's like a wishbone. So going on behind on behind here the labia what I'm saying is people should be watching this there's a 8,000 of rings that extend inside so when you pay attention to the labia here fingers all of this you feel incredible that's where a lot of the orgasms happen that's where all the pleasure happens might look like this it might look different I want to remind everybody that your vagina your vulva is like a snowflake and every single one of them is different. So any of this notion that your labia should be a certain like two inches, three inches,

like whatever certain color, some are pinkish, some are brownish, some don't even have a clitoral hood. So I just want to say that like when you get aroused though, if you do have a clitoral hood, it retracts. Let's pretend someone is going to masturbate right now. Okay. Okay. And someone does not even know where to start.

What sex toy should someone that's such a beginner, that's nervous, maybe they haven't even had sex, maybe they've had sex, but they're having a hard time in the bedroom, they want to start to masturbate alone. Where do we start, Emily? Okay. Well, first, let me show you this. This is where you start.

Okay. Lubricant. Okay. My dream, Alex Cooper, is a lube on every nightstand lube is the most underrated sexual condiment on the planet so there have been studies that show when you add lube to any sexual situation if you have a vulva and also if you have a penis but mostly for vulva owners you are 80 percent more likely to orgasm than without lube okay let's pause there let's just pause daddy gang if you are having a hard time orgasming you just heard

that your chances to orgasm will increase 80% if you use lube and I can attest to that because when I hadn't had an orgasm by myself and I was trying to figure out how to use a vibrator using a vibrator and like putting spit on it no it's it's not great okay lube I almost like it was like I was like holy shit I need to like put I'm like about it's crazy I had a crazy experience once I started experiencing lube with my vibrator and it was 10 times better I'm so glad to hear and something about I think another thing about lube is shameful. I'm not wet enough. The thing about wetness is that we can be really wet sometimes and really turned on, but sometimes we can be turned on and not wet at all. It changes day to day, week to week, month to month with our cycles.

So if we are on a 28 day menstrual cycle, and this is different for everyone, but sometimes we're wet, sometimes we're not. It's not guaranteed. If you have a penis, you assume that she's wet, she's turned on. If she's not wet, there's something wrong with her or worse yet, there's something wrong with me. My penis wasn't good enough for her. It was too small. It did something wrong. so we all have shame and people if they do have lube they say oh let me get the lube from under the bed like just in case there's an emergency it's like no i'm saying like put on your nightstand because it's also here's the other thing this is why you're gonna have more orgasms with lube is because your

clitoris is not self-lubricating so if, let's say you're even a little bit wet at the beginning, that's coming from your vagina. It's coming out of here, like, right? And then it gets up on here. It's not guaranteed that it's going to be enough, that it's going to last long enough. So when we have no lube and we're dry, like, because we're going to go back to masturbation,

because if we just start dry touching ourselves, which we're going to walk us through it, it's, you need something slippery. Like you just need it. And your spit is like, what was on your hands before? Did you wash it? Do you want saliva, the bacteria? So what happens is when you're dry with your anti-lube,

then you start to get tears. So then somebody's going to like, let's say you're having intercourse and you have no, it's dry. Then you start getting like, that's when you get the micro tears. That's when you get bacterial infections. That's when you have UTIs. It's like, oh, it's not fun. So fun so this is like this like sunscreen when it's cloudy out like always use it that's so helpful can you tell everyone listening because there's still this

stigma around like I'm not wet because I'm not turned on so I need lube how should someone say to their partner when they're like grabbing for the lube like is there a line that we can say that makes it help a man understand? This has nothing to do with you. Yeah, yeah. This is me and my anatomy. I put it in my hand. Just a little few drops.

Right. Rub it together. And then I'll like grab their cock, right? And then I'm like, then I start to touch them. Because I'm telling you, they want it wet too. So I just start to show. And they're like, they're never. Like zero. Zero penises.

Have ever said like. What are you doing? That's weird. They're just like. Watching me seductively. Put some of my hands. And then grab. Like hold them.

Even if it's on their chest. So then I do that. I'm putting it. And I'm rubbing it. Yeah. I'm putting on him. I'm grabbing him. I'm putting on.

Yeah. I'm always putting on me. Because I mean. Now my partner knows. Like he's just like. Right. He knows. We will not. I have like little samples. I brought like a little, like it's in my pocket. It's in my wallet. Like we don't. I believe that dinner and she's like

rubbing. No, I literally am. Like if we're going to have sex in the car, I've got like little vials of lube all over my house. In every bag has lube. I've got lip gloss. I'm not kidding. I got lip gloss. I got my keys, my phone, and I've got lube. If someone is masturbating for the first time, they're getting this lube. We're starting there. Okay. Once they buy the lube, what is the next step? I think if you've never touched yourself, which again, I'm going to say that the majority of, of all the owners of women probably haven't, or they, they did it briefly and they haven't really spent the time getting to know it. So I wouldn't even recommend it first you starting with a toy. But I will show you what I like.

But if you could just maybe take some time of just like, I just want to get curious and I want to breathe and I want to be mindful of what it actually feels like to touch myself. Because I used to think that a guy would roll in and he would know my body way better than I would. Like they just somehow knew, like he would know how to touch me and he would know what felt good. And then I used to lie and be like, does that feel good? I'm like, everything that you're doing feels good because I didn't know what. So I had to take time. I had to like for me to become an expert in my own body and my own pleasure,

I had to really be like, what do I like? So I would make time to master but I'd sit down I'd take my I would set the mood like you're going on a date with yourself take the bath lock the door your roommates make sure your roommates are gone or if they're not gone you're doing your own thing and then I would get into bed and you could be just like laying back have your lube and then just sort of, I love breathing and I just love like being mindful or playing some music that gets you in the mood. And you're just like getting curious and you're taking your hands and you're not going right

for your clitoris. Because let me tell you this about this magic clitoral space in your body is that while it has so much power and it feels so amazing, it's what's responsible for most of your orgasms is that if you go right to it like which the problem is a lot of guys who do not say you're with a guy they go right for it but it doesn't feel good until it's warmed up so practice just teasing yourself during your masturbation session you're gonna like you're gonna take time you're gonna like tease your inner thighs you're gonna you're gonna have a little bit of lube on your head you're just gonna say what does it feel like like tease your inner thighs you're going to you're going to have a little bit of lube on your head you're just going to think what does it feel like

to sort of start moving my fingers up my thighs through my body and then start moving and start touching your labia and then you can start sort of your pubic mound too which is right above the clitoris which is like where your pubic hair is or isn't personal choice that area too can feel really great just to tease around. Because again, since the clitoris is all these nerve endings, it emanates out. So all the areas around it feel really great when touched as well. So just start to explore with fingers, light touches. You could do a tapping with your fingers, circular motions with the pad of your fingertips. You can stroke. Some people like faster, some like slower. So really just start to experiment. Okay. And just see what touch feels good. And then pay attention

to it. Oh, I, cause after doing this for a while, you'll realize like, oh, my left upper quadrant of my clitoris, once you, it feels more sensitive than the right. So that's where you figure it out. I also love that you're saying this because I when I first started masturbating went right for a toy and I regret it because I will say to everyone watching and listening I felt like I remember the first time that it actually was not by choice my vibrator was dead and I was like well fuck and so I was like I guess like I remember I had this conversation with my friend we were both like we never do it with our hands and what I realized is because I went right with the vibrator I kind of avoided getting to know my vagina because the vibrator it's just easier and it's just quick it's like the mechanical way to just go for it where when I had to do it

manually I didn't even know what the fuck I was doing go for it where when I had to do it manually I didn't even know what the fuck I was doing for a little bit and I remember the night that I started to explore I was uncomfortable and it was in college and I was like awkward about touching my vagina and my labia and all the things and going inside and outside and I was it was awkward for me I'll be honest and I remember it was because I was just going through almost like the motions with the vibrator and I wasn't having to be as in tune with like what I was feeling. And so ever since I had that moment where my battery was dead, it made me realize like, wait, if I can get myself off with my hands, the experience is going to be 10 times better. Sure. When I do use a vibrator, but I don't have to rely on it and I'm going to be 10 times better sure when I do use a vibrator but I don't

have to rely on it and I'm going to know my body more so I agree with you I think if you've never masturbated or even if you went right for a vibrator I think there's something really fucking great to start back at the beginning with your hands and lube and can I ask you like I think a lot of people back to the shame if you're going to masturbate there's something like silence is deadly you're like touching your tits and you're like this is awkward because you're in your head right and so something I found that works for me and I'd love to hear what works for you or you've heard from people is like I'm not gonna play like fucking music because there's no music that I'm like getting turned on to I'm not gonna play like fucking music because there's no music that I'm like getting turned

on to I'm not like playing like Lil Wayne like what the fuck about like Drake like Rihanna like bad bitch and I'm like slapping my clit like absolutely not so what I found is I would find very like porn friendly ASMR whether I listen to another girl masturbating while I'm masturbating because it's almost like not like we're doing it together but it make the noises make me feel like oh I'm not alone and you're not it's almost like they're giving you the okay it's like yeah and while I'm doing this you do it I don't even look at it I just put it next to my ear I listen to her masturbating and I do it by myself and there's nothing wrong with that I think it's great such a good thing I love I love that there's also a lot of audio erotica sites too there's one like called um dipsy there's one called triquin or quin and they're all great it's an emerging field

right now because people don't I don't want they don't want to watch it but to hear other people the moans like I just like to think about this is when you're in a segue like seducing yourself think of it being like a full sensory experience so sometimes like i light my vanilla candle because i love that or i have like this stuff like you know my lube smells really good and like what am i tasting like maybe you're just like tasting like whatever else this whatever you're drinking your wine you're feeling your hands on your body because whenever your mind is distracted or you're trying to be mindful because this is a very present experience when you can think about all five of your senses being on board like touch smell taste sound it grounds you in the moment you can't be tripping and like is this wrong is someone walking in am

i doing it wrong and if you can keep circling like what am i feeling what am i smelling what am i hearing then it grounds you back in the moment because you want to keep being like what am i feeling what you know so so that's exactly it though like a lot of us do get distracted so I love that of having something soothing yeah or something hot like that that isn't too much like I'm watching porn now I got to think about her labia doesn't look like my labia and I'm distracted and I think there's also um an eye mask I always throw an eye mask or I'll put a fucking pillow over my head like so like you really submerge yourself into this world of a close your eyes put on an eye mask sometimes I'll put on like a sound machine yeah and even if you put your airpods in and you're listening to the erotica like you're in this world like oh I've gone there I'm like

in the dark there's a candle going like let yourself like because then it becomes you become like addicted you're like this is so fun you like want to run home and like go and like masturbate and get in your zone it just takes a minute no you gotta set the mood for ourselves totally so now you can't go from zero to orgasm no no no so now the ladies have gone with the lube they've gone with their fingers we're ready to advance let's talk sex toys this is what we call a bullet and i know alex you've talked about bullets recently it's discreet and it's a has a silicone sleeve on it right and what i love about this is that you got the vibrations and you can hold it in your hand it's not intimidating and then you just start to explore so you start to tease yourself this is where you could start on your outer thighs, move in, and then just start to drag it over,

up and around the clitoris, your labia. Just start teasing, like where does it actually feel good? Maybe it's circular motions around your clit. Maybe you're like holding it in one spot. I mean, remember when I say we have 8,000 nerve endings, we get to just kind of, sometimes we get to just like sit on one of the spots and be like, oh, how does that feel? And then it can start just kind of sometimes we get to just like sit on one of the spots and be like oh how does that feel and then it can start to kind of unwind and get bigger where all the sensations are around it if that if you guys can follow that and really you just start to tease and tease you have to see and you breathe this is so quiet it is because this is great for your roommates too i'm just saying no because i hate the loud vibrators i know i know everyone knows what you're doing okay hopefully you have roommates

enough that you're like peace i'm going in there you go in there god bless you have a good orgasm me and my friend lauren used to live together and we'd both be like i'm going she's like i'm going to great bye and we'd like go masturbate at the same time that may be creepy but like whatever it was normalized living with people who support your orgasms like get in there or lauren would go and i'd be like like let me know how it goes and she'd come out and she'd be like i'm a new woman i'm like okay let's go to the mall let's go shopping please wait can we just talk about this fact that none of this is about being a great lover for your partner it's literally because orgasms give you life they're part of being sexually healthy you're like releasing serotonin and dopamine and like

it's like a natural antidepressant yes so you literally feel better you literally feel in the morning sometimes i'm like i just need like a little moment to myself and then my whole day is clearer resets it's in my shower i have a vibrator in my shower to remind me to masturbate every day and not even every day because every day gets to be a lot but like most days i haven't done it it's looking at me i'm like well this will take me three seconds knock it out so much better three seconds we love it out. So much better. Three seconds. We love that for you, Emily. I've been doing it a long time. Let's say three minutes.

Okay, so I actually love that you're doing the motion, though. I'm showing it, but all I'm doing is I'm dragging it around. It's slowly like, you're not really poking it in. You're just like, think about it. These are nerve endings. This is a tiny, like a vibrator that feels really good and just sort of spreading all of the nerve endings with pleasure pleasure and it feels really great and why another to normalize vibrators is that like penis doesn't vibrate your fingers don't vibrate when you have nerve endings as delicious and

incredible and expansive as this you want to do everything that feels good which is why a loop feels good which is why a tongue feels good and why vibrations feel good i love that you're clarifying this. So I love also that like we're not even inside the vagina. Not even going inside. And you're having an orgasm. The amount of times I masturbate and I don't even go internal and I'm just outside. I'm like, I don't even need to go in there.

Mostly I'm not inside unless I'm with a partner because then we can get into the G spot. But to go internal, you want to first be aroused and turned on, which means sometimes having a clitoral orgasm first. Because once you have a clitoral orgasm, all the blood becomes engorged. I mean, it starts to swell. So that means your internal part, which is the G-spot, or I like to call the G-area. It's not really a spot.

It was misnamed by a guy who doesn't have one. But it's only like an inch or two inside. It's almost the size of this bullet. So once you're aroused here and turned on, you can go inside and start to kind of poke this area. But it's going to be a lot easier to find it once you fully experience this whole pleasure area. I think that's great.

And just to pause there, like, Daddy Gang, when you are masturbating and you're using the vibrator and you start to have that like clitoral orgasm, I masturbating and you're using the vibrator and you start to have that like clitoral orgasm, I have found that you're right. Then you could then put it inside of you. And it's almost like then your climax gets even better because it's like inside you can like feel your vagina throbbing. And if you put this X toy in after your, cause you can't almost like touch your clit once

it gets so sensitive. Yeah. That then if you go inside internal, sometimes I'm like done, but it feels good to finish with something inside of you pushing up on your G-spot. Exactly. You might be more likely to have an orgasm during penetration if you've already, like, because we were just saying like it's not going to happen. I'm not like saying it won't happen. But the reason why it doesn't happen for many is because a lot of times the penis goes right inside and you're like, I didn't even know you were coming over. I didn't even know this was happening. I didn't know you walked in the door and here you are in your heart and I'm so not there. And then it hurts sometimes. So I'm saying this is the warmup and then maybe penetration feels better. It's like the pregame. Okay guys. And you know what I love too is i really appreciate you explaining this because what i think now is so clear is everything you've

described the concept now of a dry penis or like a lightly spit on penis going inside of a woman's vagina and nothing externally has been activated or touch or whatever. Why the fuck would we ever have an orgasm? Right. How would we have an orgasm? All of the nerves, most of them are outside on the vulva, not inside. So ladies, if you keep writing and being like, I just keep not having an orgasm during sex. Well, are you rubbing your clit? Do you have lube on your vulva?

Like is anything happening externally? No. Then that's the first place to start and to readjust. Because if you can have a great, you may not even have an insane like internal orgasm. But if you're touching yourself or he's touching you on the outside, we're going to have a lot more pleasure. So much more pleasure. And speaking of externally, let me say this.

I think we can all attest to the fact that when it's like slow make out sash like kissing your neck you're making out your partner like moves his way down your neck maybe makes it your nipples that can also be incredible turn on and our nipples and our clitoris both send signals to the same part region in our brain responsible for the orgasm so they're connected so people can't have nipple orgasms but we can get into that on the next time but what i'm saying is it's all connected so a lot of nipple stimulation a lot of slow kissing a lot of everything could also start getting you going so once you get down to the clitoris you're moving things along you know so it's all it's a whole experience it's all connected and i would say to people listening

something i've gotten better at and just being more vocal in the bedroom is like you've talked about this that they men are like a frying pan yeah and we're like an oven cookers yeah slow cookers like they it's quick for them that they can get turned on and it can happen and we need more time and so I think there's something really great to and it's hot to if he's like going right for it you like putting your hand on his chest and be like I need foreplay yeah like get down there like it's like slowing it down because you need more time and it's so hot to get yourself worked up and almost like it's like edging during foreplay of being like oh my god now please let's fuck.

Like you want to get to a point where you're like, oh my God, like get inside of me. Like let's go. Rather than like, how is he already inside of me? Like I, there's not a bone in my body at times that I've been turned on and somehow I find myself having sex. I'm like, what the fuck? Even if it's three minutes, at least just playing with the vulva, going at it there. What is the best sex toy recently that you found for couples?

Okay. For couples, I would say. AK for me. I'm like, give me a little. Okay. So the magic wand has been around forever. And it is one of the first vibrators that I was ever created. It was, it's almost 50 years old. And it started, it used to plug into the wall.

Okay. And it was a really big toy, right? Yeah, yeah. Like your parents had. It's like your grandmother's vibrator. Right, it looks like a microphone. Yeah, it looks like a microphone. It does actually.

But why this is so cool is this has become one of my favorite couple toys because the old ones were way too big. This is just powerful, right? And it doesn't go inside. But what I love is, is that when you're having sex with a penetration with a partner that you have it on your clitoris and then they can also have it like on their balls on their shaft and so this just feels amazing for both of us because it feels great for me yeah i brought you one i didn't i brought you like a select you'll see my boyfriend's

gonna be like more of these episodes exactly he's like come on like you're getting shoes i'm coming home with a huge bag yeah you like legit you are so but and i like this also but when you're going down on your partner like your penis partner so they have their perineum or their taint which is like taint the balls taint the ass that area they're they have something called a prostate which we'll get into it but just this toy even in between there like if you're giving them a blowjob, like this is just kind of going up on that area and it just can feel really, really great. I know some men really get nervous about being down for ass play.

And I feel like once you can like bridge that gap and you can get in there, the sex is 10 times better. And so I always, whenever I'm using a vibrator I will use it kind of on my boyfriend too but I never thought to while you're giving head to just hold something because I think is the big thing like how do I bring a toy into the bedroom with my partner yes I'm so nervous they're gonna judge me though they're gonna think it's weird and I actually do think if you're with a partner and you've never done it it is good to like say something before you get in the bedroom and you can just be like hey i bought these toys today or like i want to

talk to you about i've got this really cool new toy that i think would it feels really good on me but i can't wait to use it on you because there's also this notion that toys are only for women but i am telling you that just like the penises are going to lap up the lube, they freaking love the vibrations. It feels so good. So just something like this with a little, and I always like, I like high settings, but I think for penises at first, you want to do like the lowest setting and you just want to take,

oh, I brought a penis too. Just so you know. I love you. Love you too. Of course. If we're going to bring a vulva, we're bringing a penis. We do not discriminate. So here's their penis, right? And you're going up course. If we're going to bring a vulva, we're bringing a penis. We do not discriminate. So here's their penis, right? And you're going up to them and you're just saying like, let me show you.

I got this really cool. So this is not intimidating. Right. I got this really cool new toy. And I just want you to feel it. And you've already got the lube in your hand. And you just take it and you softly like you're putting it around their shaft. Maybe your mouth is around their tip and you're just using it on the shaft.

Or you're taking it around their tip and you're just using it on the shaft or you're taking around their balls and they're like ah like they're into it yeah i feel like on the balls it's so good balls it feels really good but like i'm feeling it like i'm like oh i feel i can feel that i mean we know what it feels like on us so how what who doesn't like a light vibration tingling exactly you're getting a fucking massage you're getting a massage and you're getting attention and you're wet enough because you got lube in your hand so you're and here's the other thing about blowjobs you definitely want a blowjob to be you want to be wet enough like you have to be wet enough and sometimes our mouth we can't do enough saliva sometimes you just don't have it even if you water by the bed so just to always have lube so you're

given a blowjob but remember your hands are a big part of a blowjob you don't have to like choke on unless you want to yes you didn't know press to do it but you want enough grip you want enough wetness you want enough enthusiasm and being into it right enough pressure so you can use your hand for the pressure you can have a little vibrator going around or on the outside cheek of your mouth it can help like yeah that's Emily hold on so you're giving head I never thought of this this is the fucking expert you're welcome ladies you're welcome are we done we're done you're welcome I've never tried that I'm gonna try that now and I think that when you're giving head I love also kind of venturing down like lightly on the balls everyone's

always like what do i do with the balls get some lube on them and like lightly take the vibrator and go in and then put you can put it a little underneath and go on the tank the whole thing exactly the whole thing and a lot of people like again when you are with a penis that that not everyone likes their balls touched so you just want to be very gentle like it's okay to check in and like ask like does that feel good okay if someone feels very confident in the bedroom with their partner and with masturbating and using sex toys, what is like an advanced move with a sex toy that you can recommend for someone that's like, yeah, we're doing all the basics. Like, we've been kind of like, you know, like I'll lightly do it. Like, or is there not an advanced? We're talking about heterosexual couple? We're talking about, okay.

Sure. Okay. Okay. All right. Well. What are you up to over there? So cock ring. Does everyone know what a cock ring is? like or is there not an heterosexual couple we're talking about okay okay okay uh all right well what are you up to over there so cock ring does everyone know what a cock ring is so yeah the reason why the cock rings are great for partners that's what i always kind of recommend so we talked about some of the wearable ones fall off the reason why cock rings are great when they vibrate is because so this for example goes around the base of the penis okay okay so there you go

then so your partner's wearing this on their penis, goes around the base of the penis, okay? Okay. So there you go. Then, so your partner's wearing this on their penis. Remember, they like the vibrations. This turns on and it vibrates. You're coming in, right? You're having sex. So this is your, right? So what happens is you're going in.

Penis going, can we all see this? These have these like little rabbit ears on it, right? Wow. So these are vibrating. So this feels good on his penis. And for some men who may be of a challenge staying harder longer which happens they have an erection they lose the erection this is going to keep their erection and then these little things vibrate these little nubs and they sort of go right uh up there this is like on the clitoris and they sort of tease all around the nerve endings uh and it feels amazing so this is a great couple story because it's literally fun for you know what

i just realized i remember in a past relationship i tried a cock ring and i was like it's not working but i realized it was because the sex he was going fully out fully in and so it was like i wasn't even feeling it i think when you do a cock ring the best way to have sex with it is them to go inside. And when that when you tell them like you're feeling the stimulation, it's more of just like a light in and out. And it's like, oh, not like fucking soaking here. We're like, but but but you know what I mean? It's like light movement in and out rather than like a full situation coming in and out

because you want to keep it there and you want to feel that and consistently kind of right we're saying anti-jackhammer yeah anti-jack usually anti-jackhammer till we die like we don't never really need it but that okay so that's what we're trying so you see this this part so these are like amazing so if your partner's going this they can be going inside you they're feeling great but this little nubs here are going all up in your clitoris they're massaging the labia and you're just getting so if you're going to that no because you because we also need the consistent stimulation so love it that's really fun what is that other orange thing okay so this is another thing this is for penises as well um this one i know it's called the soul and it's a so this is a masturbation sleeve okay so this is great too if you are with a penis in your life you could so so i'm also saying you

have a lot of guys listening like up your masturbation routine like you don't just need your hand right so this also vibrates so i love this like with my partner so for example penis again um add some lube to here and it vibrates. So it's like a masturbation sleeve, right? So it's like a master. It's called a sleeve, like a vibrating stroker or a sleeve. I like sleeve better. Right.

So it's going around there. It's vibrating. I could still just be like licking the tip, massaging the tip. But first off, also, it's way less work. And I never want people to think, blowjob, it's a job. I want to make it way less of a job and make it fun. I could see myself using this.

I'm like, because I'm trying to be very realistic. I'm like, when would I use that? I could see myself using that during 69. My boyfriend's eating me out and I put that on his dick and then I'm just like licking the top. And then I guess since the front

of the shaft is open, you can be like kind of licking down and licking the tip. But keep that shit on there. There you go. All your work is done. You're literally making your life so much easier. Your work is done.

I love that so, so much. I'm so excited. It's fun. And also I want to go back to this one too, where any of these brings any of these toys. My prediction that is in a few years, most toys are going to be gender free, genderless, because since we're saying that nerve endings feel good at everybody, even if this is not your penis and this is your own,

you could put this on your fingers and use it on your clitoris. So like, like get creative. How do you think masturbating in front of your partner can be a fun thing incorporated into your sex life? Because I feel like I'll be real college or whatever. I would have been too in not insecure, but I would have been too insecure to actually focus on it. I would be doing it performatively and like not actually focusing. Like how do we

incorporate this into foreplay? I think that mutual masturbation is one of the hottest things that you can do with a partner. What I love about mutual masturbation for couples is that you're both, well, A, it's a sure thing because you're both going to get off. If you're masturbating yourself and they're masturbating themselves, you know what you're doing and you're going to get off. But also, it's really hot. It's kind of like a twofer because, and there's different ways to do it. Hopefully, you've gotten past that you're going to hide the fact that you masturbate because that's the other thing. Side is people think I'll talk to some people about masturbation like oh I don't need to I have a partner and it's like no you actually need to continue to do it when you're even when you're with a partner because it's the connection to yourself it's you're

continuing to learn your own body it's just it's self-care well yeah could you expand on that a little bit like if someone is in a relationship and their partner is like frustrated that they're masturbating they find out they're masturbating like what is our sex not life not good enough tell us okay so because this is another really big question I get asked all the time is and I hear it from everybody but mostly I hear it from women who are with men and they're like why does my partner have to masturbate we're having the best sex of our life like I don't understand why he needs that he's watching porn he didn't clear his browser history what he was watching does not look like me and and I think again it goes back to all the misinformation that sex the best sex happens when a penis goes into a vagina

with your monogamous partner and there's nothing else involved and you both have incredible orgasms and you know we've already covered the fact that that is not realistic and that doesn't work so I think this notion that like they're masturbating because maybe you're not satisfying them is another one like oh I must not be doing something enough that my partner had to go seek out porn but a healthy masturbation practice is part of being sexually healthy overall because it is self-connection. You're learning about your body. And again, we talked about all those feel-good hormones that are actually really good for our skin. It's good for our mood. It's good for stress relief, all the reasons. So just like let's normalize that

your partner is going to masturbate and you should be masturbating too. And if you're in a relationship with a partner, what I love about mutual masturbation is that you can just kind of say, hey, let's try something together. Hopefully maybe you have got some toys you like, or you've talked about it. You could just say, I think it'd be so hot to watch you like get off. Would you be into it? So then, and I'm going to admit to you guys that a lot of this might be awkward at first. So sex is fun and funny and awkward and messy and things happen and that's all okay. Be with a partner you can laugh with. Okay. So you're laying back. You got that all the way? Everyone feels good about that? We're good.

And then you're like, okay, I'm going to touch myself and you're going to touch yourself. We're going to start with that form. So first off, it's a twofer because now I'm looking at my partner and I'm going, wow, I didn't know that when he's masturbating, his hands going up and around and over the tip. Interesting. So the next time I'm touching him, I'm definitely going to go up and around and over the tip because he likes a tip and that's how he strokes. Like it is literally his owner's manual. And's like okay i will never not give you a blow job or hand job again without doing that move that's your move that's the pace you're going at that's where your finger is it's like you're learning what they like by letting them do it themselves it's like a dick hack i'm tagging like what he's doing right well because

i think a lot of people must wonder like how, how does how does your partner get off? What are they doing in their alone moment? Right. And that doesn't mean that what you're doing is wrong. But it's fun to be like, oh, that's what he likes. My boyfriend always wants to watch me masturbate because he's like, I want to be able to do that to you when I'm doing it to you. Exactly. So then then they watch you. Right. Which, let's be honest, the the vagina it's like the rubik's cube of life like a guy sits down he's like i don't fucking know like my last partner wanted fingers inside and you want this tapping and she wanted a hurricane and i don't know what the fuck to do so why not just be like let's like do this early on in a relationship so then he's watching you right and you're like i know like for me like I'm always like applying pressure to my pubic mound I have my fingers in certain ways he notices that I'm not always sticking my fingers inside right away so he's just like oh that like I love this one too this is a new one it's called

the dot by Lalo because it has all these little tips in it that help you like explore the different nerve endings specifically but let's say I'm using this because I use my toy with a partner like I I always and then then not only does he know how to use it with me but I'm like just showing him like these are the areas that I'm focusing on because I learned during my masturbation sessions alone that this is what I need so that I'm showing him all these areas and then it's like so again the twofer part is that it's educational and then it's hot because I'm like that's so hot that you're doing that and I'm doing this and then sometimes you switch hands and like let me help you and there's a fucking masturbation party let's talk about orgasms what if someone is sitting here listening being like I'm so excited to try this I've tried it a couple times but they're unsure if they have ever had an orgasm? It's a really common question. Yeah.

If you don't think that you've ever had an orgasm, you probably haven't. Because let me tell you this, we didn't mention the orgasm gap yet, that most penis owners are going to take six to eight minutes to orgasm. And if you have a vulva, it's going to take you 20 to 40 minutes to orgasm. That's with a partner. Now with a vibrator, it might be 10 minutes, it might be 12 minutes. So I just want to normalize the fact that if you are new to this, and a lot of us are impatient and we want a quick fix, it's going to take you some time. So when people call or email the show and they're like, oh, I had one that's like I'm always like have you tried oh yeah I tried I tried for like a minute or two once or three times no no you need

to full-on commit to your it's a workout routine I mean I have a friend in college and she was like she went away on this internship I'll never forget this and she was still one of my best friends to this day but she was like I'm gonna have an orgasm by the end of the month she had a 30-day internship and every single night for 30 days she just like hunkered down she did not have a vibrator and she's like i'm going to figure it out and she didn't have one the first week and she didn't have one the second week but in the third week she finally figured it out and she had to correct she was paid that's that's patience too like i don't even know that i have that patience like i grabbed my toy like i until this day she's still one of the most multi-orgasmic friends I have and she

just like took the time so I would just encourage everybody to like if you haven't had one the good news here is that there's a very small percentage of women who are can't have an orgasm most women are not anorgasmic they They're pre-orgasmic. You just haven't had one yet. You just haven't really taken the time to do this work with lube, toys, your fingers, and time devoted to yourself to figure it out. That's, thank you.

Honestly, thank you. Death, you're not broken. Get in there and make it a fucking mission. And don't put so much pressure on yourself. But it's like, eventually you're going to figure it out. But you can't figure it out if you're not fucking trying i i really appreciate that and i want to remind people that the goal if you can go in mindfully with the goal of exploration and curiosity and not the goal of orgasm at the beginning and just like i just want to see what feels good you'll find that when you take the pressure off and you focus on your breath

and you're like noticing what feels good that you're more likely to have your orgasm that way okay I have a question from a listener I've never had an orgasm with my partner but I've been faking it I can orgasm solo and would love to be able to orgasm with my partner but we definitely need to make some big adjustments, obviously. How do I bring up this convo considering they think that I've had an orgasm nearly every time we have sex and I've never had one during sex? This is a great question. Relatable.

It's common. So relatable. Come on. We've all faked orgasms. I believe we can say that here. So first, you want to have a conversation with your partner outside the bedroom. I have my three T's of communication, timing, tone, and turf. I think this is very important for all the things we're talking about. That just remember this, your timing is when you are chilling. You're not halt, hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. And you're just like, maybe you're on a date night.

The next one is your tone. Again, it's curious. It's open. It's receptive. It's not judgmental. It's not angry. And then the turf, believe it or not, is outside the bedroom. You do not want to have conversations about when you're already in a sexually heightened state.

So bedroom, leave it for sleeping and sex. Do it when you're out walking the dog, you're on a road trip. I love the road trip part because you don't have to make eye contact, but you're still driving because it's fucking awkward. And then you just say, hey, you know, babe, I would love to talk about our sex life, and I just want to tell you that. And then you've got to start with my compliment sandwich. It's always like advice nestled between two really wonderful compliments

right like you're like hey babe I've been thinking about the sex we're having and like that was so hot the other night you know I love the way that you were um slowly like kissing my neck and we were so and you were going down on me and it felt so great god I love oral sex and I realized that I have been they could say they were listening to Alec they could say you people say this all the time like blame sex with Emily like I don't care I realize I get really close to orgasm and it feels really really good but I'm not sure that I'm quite there to the point where I that I want to be and I feel like I make the motions and the sounds but I don't think I've quite had an orgasm in the way that I would love to explore with you. And then you close that out by saying, because I think

if we could figure out together how I could have like this explosive, incredible orgasm, that our sex life will go to the next level and we'll both be incredibly satisfied. It's like, they're going to be like so turned on that you are like thinking about this and wanting to build and make it better. I mean, and honestly, if they're like, no, that's not your partner. They just did you a favor. But what you're doing here is you're enrolling them. And it's about both of you. It's not like you aren't doing this.

Why aren't you giving me your again? It's like, you know, I realize that if we slow down and do it together, like, wow, imagine we could discover. Won't that be fun? Your partner wants to please you. Right. We're going to end a little bit on some anal play I think a lot of women have been asking me like I'm really wanting to go in there but I'm terrified of like is my

nail gonna hurt them am I gonna hurt them how do I go about it can you give us like a little quick crash course yeah on if a woman is going or anyone is going towards the butthole what are we doing towards the male butt towards yes okay well here's the exciting thing i love this question is that men have a prostate women do not have a prostate a prostate is kind of like the the g-spot so they have this incredible little area inside of their anus about two inches In fact, you find it similar to how you find a G-spot. And it's inside. And when you use a finger or a toy, which I have the toys, Alex. Please show us. I got butt plugs.

I got this prostate toy. So what you want to do is you use lots of lube. So here's the other thing. Your anus has very thin tissue. So when you go in there, you've got to make sure. There's another reason to always have lube, okay? It's other thing. Your anus has very thin tissues. So when you go in there, you've got to make sure there's another reason to always have lube. Okay. It's not going to lubricate itself. And then you want to start, you want to start slow. You don't want to just like, we don't want anyone to go right inside of us. You want to start using your fingers with some

lube on it outside of their anus, because there's a lot of outside their butthole. There's nerve endings out there at the outside. You could start with your fingers lightly like just sort of massaging it and then you can try it with the finger however the nails it's real like for a while like i like i would take a nail down but i was like it's so annoying you i like to use toys okay or you can use a condom over your finger and you could put some cotton balls in it you could like wrap it around and you could like, or a glove. I mean, it's actually a glove. You could use it. I'm like, hold on, babe. That's what people, but no one's going to, let's be honest. You're not going to use a glove, but you have to be careful with your fingers. So I would just say, unless you really, really short nails and your nails have to always be trimmed and they have to be clean and all the

things, I would just recommend a toy like a butt plug this one's actually a little bit bigger this one's a little bit smaller it's a prostate toy and you just like slowly would like go inside and first you have to consent like is this okay with you do you know but I think when you are doing that on the outside of their butthole and you're kind of experimenting you can kind of put a little bit of finger in and just see how does that feel and you'll know if your partner is like, oh, it feels good. Or if he's like, what are you doing? I don't want anything on my ass.

But let me just say side note is that what makes me sad is that the majority of men, people with a penis can have the most incredible pleasure when they allow themselves to be penetrated with a toy, a finger, a dildo, or something because of this prostate. And the reason they don't is because of this notion that they're afraid that it's going to somehow define their sexual orientation. Well, I thought that gay men do that and I am not gay. I think it's somehow feminine.

I don't know what they're thinking, but all I'm saying is like, guys, do yourself a service. Like you have this amazing gem in your ass. Go find it. know what they're thinking but all i'm saying is like guys do your do yourself a service like you have this amazing gem in your ass go find it like what are you waiting for life is short right life is hard right now too like shit's going down in the world i'm like if guys were all just finding their fucking prostate and having orgasms like we would be a lot happier it's such a good point because you're like find that gem in your asshole okay it's almost like their our clit is their prostate exactly oh my god right and they have orgasms that way and sometimes they have to be erect like it's separate from the penis because you can be like you could be using the stroker on their penis and they could have something in

their ass and i'm just telling you like they lie back and they have to breathe just first just a matter of exploring and again if your partner's like hell no you could say you know I've learned these things that maybe it might feel good you want to relax I won't judge you and then I found again most men who try it out are like whoa love this I I'm curious like so you start with the finger and I agree with you rubbing around even like lightly like pulsing up on it but not even going inside that's really great because you're like kind of pushing up into that prostate area but you're not you're still external oh you mean like I said what I was talking about using the taint area yeah because you're indirectly stimulating the prostate that

way yes my question is with the sex toy what position do you recommend the guy be in when you're going about this? It's a great, it's a great question. I think that it helps if they're on their back. I love the position of them being on their back. Maybe there's a pillow underneath them to kind of elevate them. And then we're sitting on the bed and maybe like my, like your legs, my legs would be like wrapped around them, right? So I'm sort of copying them and my legs are maybe over their thighs

or their thighs could be over mine. And so then you've easier access to kind of go in that way. And this is where my heart goes out to guys. And I know that we love men. We like, it's just like, they just, they don't know. Like no one ever educated them like how we didn't know, but also like giving them permission just to like, they always have to be in charge in many ways.

If you're with a woman, guys are like, I've got to like they always have to be in charge in many ways if you're with a woman guys are like i've got a dotting of her orgasm and i have to always be hard and i have to always be in charge but sometimes guys lose their erections they had an erection they came to they came before they wanted to this kind of gives them permission to be like it doesn't really matter what your dick's doing right now we can kind of like go in and then usually you'll find that they'll get an erection or but it's a separate it's a separate area it's like a separate part of pleasure so the penises can be involved or not involved um for a couple i i'm curious if they have had uh they love each other you know they've got great vibes but specifically their sex life has just been like

not going well and they've tried things like let's try to like go away on a weekend or spice it up. Or what would you encourage people that feel like they're in this like rut with their sex life because they're like with this longterm partner, like what do we do? Okay. Well first love this question. Let's just normalize that's going to happen in every relationship that there's going to become a point where the honeymoon phase ends and you've been together from six months to two years

and the newness and the novelty and the excitement and all the things that draw, you know, you had never seen this person naked before. You had never done 69 before. Like it's just new and exciting. That's going to change. But here's the thing. It is not a quick fix.

It is never going to be a quick fix. Most couples get to the point that you're asking. It's no longer hot. You're not ripping each other's clothes off anymore. You like fake sleep so you don't have to have, you know, sex. It's because we haven't talked about it. We haven't talked about it in a meaningful way. So the first step is communication. And it's again, outside the bedroom and you say to your partner, you know, I love our relationship. I love our sex life. It's been so hot.

And I think we can both agree that lately it just hasn't been as much. And we haven't been doing as much. You've been so busy. I've been traveling. Like, I just want to acknowledge that. And your partner will say, yeah, I know. I know. It feels like you're so tired at night.

Things are happening. Like, I'm hoping, I'm wondering if you'd like to kind of like, we could have some fun together and try to figure out like, what can we do together to like prioritize our pleasure and make it really hot? Like, would you be down with that? And I hopefully your partner's going to say, yeah, what do you think? What can we do? So then I have a few tools because I know talking about sex is awkward. Here's the easiest one. Let's talk about the most memorable time we've had sex. Okay. So what's the most, and you could even say like, let's each write down the three most memorable times in swap lists. So first you're going to look at that list and you're going to realize, wow, like that was hot

too. I totally forgot about that time. We were in the Bahamas and usually it's on vacation. A lot of these things. And like someone almost walked into our room, like the bellman almost walked in, but there we were under the palm trees and we just had a few pina coladas. Or, you know, maybe it was just because you hadn't looked at your phone all day. Like there's a lot of information, I call it your sexual DNA, that you can decode from the hottest times.

Or maybe it was the time that your partner surprised you came home from work threw you against the wall had a new vibrator for you you know or it did something to you that was amazing or maybe they surprised you with that bag you wanted and like it was that fucking surprise like I had my eyes on that purse and you came in and that was the best sex of my life so every time we look at information self-knowledge again one of the pillars of sex IQ is like, oh, I know that these things turn me on. The reason, how we can become sexually more intelligent is knowing what actually turns me on. It's different for me than it might be for you. And sometimes it starts with what turns me off. So I realized, babe, we've been together a while and all the things that I think turn me on are, well, first I need to be outside the house. We need to go away for a night. We need to do

something different. We have not left this house in a year. So of course I don't want to bang you or six months. We haven't gotten a sitter for the kids. Again, you're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. It could be your hormones. It could be a lot of other things. Your partner didn't change. But to know that since we are slow cookers and your partner or since we are so cookers and your partner's a frying pan how can I optimize my environment and my sex life so I know that more often than not I'm going to want to have sex so for me also I need to after work I can't go from like work mode where I'm in my mask in all day to sex so I'm like I take a bath I take a steam shower I do some breathing and then that gets me in the mood for sex so this makes sense yeah I think it's huge

to also talk about this I think specifically you know a lot of women I feel like we take our cues because that's just like the world we've lived in and been raised around from the man and so whatever like he's kind of however he's in initiating it or whatever, you're like, this is supposed to be how it goes. And it's like you finding the things that make you turned on and want to have sex are going to be different than most people around you. Like everyone has their customizable format of what gets them turned on. And so you may have a complete different list of things than your partner. That's good to know because you now know how to please your partner. He should know

how to please you. And I think it's just an underrated thing that you're talking about. That's really smart of like, don't just like make it a thing of like, we have to, let's have sex. It's like, hold on. Well, why would we have sex right now? Like you haven't touched me all day. Like we haven't had good conversation lately. Like you weren't you didn't spontaneously like you know the things I like so being mindful of each other's turn-ons and arousal styles I think can actually really elevate relationships that if you're feeling in a rut I mean Emily it's it's so helpful I feel like we just kind of did a great crash course for like people in relationships and also our single ladies who are like I don't know if I've had an orgasm I don't know what I'm doing

over here I want to have a good time like I can't thank you enough for coming on because I feel like there's times where there's little segments and we rush through this and I'm sure again through your work and my work I do see a lot of consistent questions yes and I was happy to sit down with you and just have like a long thoughtful conversation that like if anything I hope people are like you gave us too much detail yeah great daddy gang from now on out know your arousal style if you're in a relationship we're making that where did you fuck last that was the hottest for you make that list and for all the women that haven't put in the work for yourself time to start masturbating time to have a goddamn orgasm on your own time but like get in there and

don't feel shamed and don't feel awkward like we said turn off the lights have a good time like I want everyone to dm me that hasn't had an orgasm dm me when you have it and I promise you if you take these steps that Emily shared with us today like this is gonna get you way closer to enjoying that that time with yourself it will Emily it's been too long I I really appreciate you I love you so much thank you so much for coming on and thank you for bringing your vulva and your penis oh my god dude all the things i wanted to help your people alex i love being here i'm so proud of you this is so awesome and we're helping so many people with this show i love you i love you love you too