Call Her Daddy - How To Leave A Bitchboy

Episode Date: June 15, 2025

A Father’s Day surprise - Sunday Sessions are back! Alex returns with an all-new Sunday Session, opening up about why she hit pause and what to expect going forward. She shares her top tips for snoo...ping without getting caught, how to prioritize yourself in a toxic relationship, and why every single girl needs another single friend. Alex also dives into navigating insecurity in a relationship and how to balance work, friendship, and dating without burning out. Plus, a reminder that being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. Enjoy!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Sunday morning fat this cow Lynn do do do do do do do every Sunday's father's day That was pretty good right is this thing on okay Daddy gang I know it's a Sunday. It's a little disorienting. You're probably like what we it's not went Wait, hold on. I thought you abandoned that. Have no fear. On Father's Day, I thought it is time to return to my children.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Now here's the thing. I have a Father's Day gift for you. I think that's actually completely backwards because as the children, you're supposed to give your father a gift, but I'm not in need. I don't need a fucking six pack. I don't need a new grill or a blow job.
Starting point is 00:00:49 A blow job would be nice, but it's okay. I'm gonna give you a gift. And the gift that I'm giving today is Sunday sessions are officially making a motherfucking comeback. Boom! See, let me explain why they went away. Because I have seen a lot of you in my DMs, where are you, where are you bitch?
Starting point is 00:01:10 The interviews are great, but like, let's hear a little bit more of you and from you and give us some advice. And it's been hurting me in my soul. I feel like a sinner, I feel disgusting, I've felt horrible about myself. Don't worry, it's been eating me alive. Matt has to listen to it almost every night.
Starting point is 00:01:27 The Sunday sessions, just shut, okay, then go and do the Sunday sessions. This is why I couldn't for a little bit. When I signed my new deal with SiriusXM, I was launching two live radio shows that are every single day of the week, Monday through Friday, the daily dirty, and dialed in are on air, okay?
Starting point is 00:01:48 And I didn't want to be a piece of shit and just like take too much on and then everything kind of sucked and it was like half-assing everything. If I'm gonna do something, I want it to be great. So I paused on Sunday Sessions because I needed to make sure that I was capable of giving it my all. Now that these beautiful shows on serious
Starting point is 00:02:06 XM are up and running you guys are loving them one is advice one is pop culture boom boom boom I figured Now that it's up and running I Can finally return to the homeland aka this motherfucking couch and I can give you guys advice I can tell you about my life. We can gossip we can talk shit, and it's a safe space. So, happy motherfucking Father's Day. Sunday sessions are back in session, bitch. Now, I thought what better way to kick off a Sunday session than take a little trip. Then take a little trip. Cover your ears if you don't wanna be a part of this because you little brown nosers,
Starting point is 00:03:13 some of you have said you've missed taking a little trip. A little trip, a little trip that I like to call. A little thing, a little, just a little, very, very small, but just a little quick trip, little quick trip, one, two, one, two, a little thing I like to call little thing little, little, just little, little, very, very small, but it's just a little quick trip, little quick trip, one two, one two, a little thing I like to call... Questions of the mother! I don't know if that's gonna sound okay.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Of the mother! Fucking! Weak! Questions of the mother. The mother. Fucking. Weak. Questions of the motherf. The mother fucking weak. Questions of the mother fucking weak bitch. Dan, Dorota, Dan.
Starting point is 00:03:51 We made it. We're in fucking France bitch. Questions of the mother fucking weak. You bitches are in fucking need. You guys are like, things have been not going well. We're kind of regressing Daddy Gang and I was reading these being like, bitch he did what and you stayed?
Starting point is 00:04:05 Bitch, he fucked who? But you fucked who? Yeah, no, we gotta get together. Okay, question one. Hey daddy, so I have a boyfriend who keeps a diary. Well, that's already fucking weird. I love the shade of like, my boyfriend, it's a diary. Like you could have called it a journal, but the shade.
Starting point is 00:04:23 What man has a diary? Is it pink? Then you have your answer. You need to break up with him. Okay. Hey daddy, so I have a boyfriend who keeps a diary. Recently, I read it and found that he writes about how he gets off to girls. I confronted him about it and he just got angry saying that it was an invasion of privacy. I love a gas lighter.
Starting point is 00:04:44 We recovered from that, but now about nine months later, I have found the diary again, and he is still writing about getting off to other girls and now questioning if he loves me. Help, I don't know what I should do now. We've been together for over two years and I am so heartbroken right now. Okay, the toxic in me needs to just like quickly
Starting point is 00:05:06 give you a little hint. When you snoop, never reveal your source. You know what I mean? Cause obviously you said you found it again. He clearly took the diary, hid it in another cubby somewhere he didn't think you were gonna find it. And then one day you were doing the dishes and it was next to the fucking dish soap
Starting point is 00:05:21 and you were like, the diary still fucking exists. So one, never reveal your sources, because when you find some shade, you gotta know it's gonna keep going. So gather information, right? Never reveal. Secondly, if we're not being toxic, I'm concerned on this Father's Day,
Starting point is 00:05:40 I feel like I can be a little extra honest, right? Like you guys don't want me to cradle you and pretend you're young toddlers. We're fucking adults here, okay? So I can be a little extra honest, right? Like you guys don't want me to cradle you and pretend you're young toddlers. We're fucking adults here, okay? So I can be honest. We can crack open a cold one and have a fucking beer with your father. And I can be like, so he hates you.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Maybe he doesn't hate you, but he doesn't love you. Men are so fucking lazy. Think about this. They're so fucking lazy. The fact that this man takes the energy, picks up pen, puts pen to paper and is writing about other women, and then in the fucking second paragraph is like, also, I don't know if I love my girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:06:14 It's gotta end. You deserve so much fucking better. The fact that he's still writing about these women, and now he's adding you into it, I think you have your answer, but I will empathize with you a little bit. There is nothing worse honestly than finding something out about your relationship, not just by the source of the person you're in the relationship with, right?
Starting point is 00:06:36 Like whether you find out they were cheating through X or you find a diary, sus in general sus but if you find a diary and they're writing things, no, that wasn't invasion of privacy. I'm sorry, he's writing about wanting to fuck 10 other women and that he doesn't love you anymore. Like, yeah, I think you're privy to that information. You fucking bitch. Not you, him.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Last thing also is when you are engaging in a healthy relationship, you won't have the overwhelming feeling that you need to look through their things. Snooping isn't something that feels like okay he's a finally asleep or he's finally in the shower like let's go for it. So case closed you deserve better let's keep it fucking moving. Okay question number two. Hi daddy I'm 34 and single and I feel like my friends are always with their significant others.
Starting point is 00:07:26 A holiday weekend is coming up and not one of them invited me anywhere. I just feel like I keep being the one to make all the plans. They make comments like, I'm so glad I don't have to go out anymore. And honestly, that makes me feel bad because if I had a partner, I'd obviously love a Netflix night too.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Anyways, I just feel incredibly lonely. Do I need to make a whole new friend group? First of all, completely sorry that you're feeling this way because especially I think as you get to the later half of your 20s, early 30s, later 30s, 40s, I think anyone that's in their single era and they're around all their friends that are in relationships, if that's the case, you just feel
Starting point is 00:08:06 like shit sometimes. Not to say it's all the time, but sometimes you're just like, fuck, I just wish I was on the same wavelength as my friends. That's life. That's completely normal. So I want to validate you. I don't think you need to get a whole new friend group, but I would say have you expressed this to them in a way that is positive and not like nagging. Like instead of being like, you guys are always with your partners and I never get to hang out with you. What if you go to them and be like,
Starting point is 00:08:30 guys, I love that you're all in such happy, healthy relationships. I, you guys know that's what I'm also looking for, but I miss you guys. And so I'm wondering if we could start to do more regular hangs or obviously I know your guys schedule may be a little bit better, busier than mine
Starting point is 00:08:45 with date nights and stuff, so you let me know whenever, and I'll be there, but I love you guys. So that's first is just acknowledging it to your friends so that they don't think that you are holding this resentment. Have the open communication. And then if they're assholes, obviously, sure, get new friends, because whether you're in a romantic relationship or not,
Starting point is 00:09:03 your friendships shouldn't just become like completely irrelevant. Like those are like the core foundations of probably how you found this great relationship and who you are today. So you can't just completely neglect your friends. But what I would say is, I don't think it would hurt to get some new friends.
Starting point is 00:09:19 And something that I've been talking with my single friends about recently is they've all been saying something they love about their friend group is everyone knows a single girl, especially in your 30s. I feel like there's this beautiful comradery. Women who are single in their 30s, you wanna hang out together.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Cause let's be honest, in your 20s, it's a little hard to make friends weirdly cause everyone's kind of like, you're kind of transitioning out of college, you're trying to figure your shit out, you're trying to figure out your job. By 30, people are a little bit more confident in who they are and they know what they want.
Starting point is 00:09:54 And I feel like so many women are like, wait, you're single too? Oh my God, let's go out for drinks. And so one of my friends who is single asked some of her friends in relationships, do you guys have any single friends? And they were like, wait, yes, this girl from my work is single, I'll connect you to.
Starting point is 00:10:08 They've now connected on text and now they go out every weekend together. And it's a fun dynamic that they have because they have this shared experience. And so I think you need to put yourself out there and recognize sometimes you need to build relationships with people that are at the same place as you. Doesn't mean you can't have people that aren't,
Starting point is 00:10:25 but why not have a good single friend? So that way on a Friday, if everyone's at date night, you're hitting up Bridget, being like, Bridget, you ready to go downtown and suck some dick? And then Bridget's like, yeah, bitch, I wanna get fucking tag teamed with you. That is the kind of relationship that you're looking for. Something's in the air today.
Starting point is 00:10:44 We're so fucking back. Okay, this the air today, we're so fucking back. Okay, this one is so, this is a tough one. All right, I'm currently dating my best guy friend and happier than ever. We've been friends for three years and recently started dating a few months ago. I'm so beyond happy, but is it normal to sometimes feel like we're just friends?
Starting point is 00:11:03 He was in a relationship previously, so I was constantly having to suppress any feelings until he was single and we would have a chance to date. I don't always feel comfortable being outwardly affectionate or romantic with him, help. Okay, this is tough because I'll be honest, I have never in my life dated someone that I was first friends with.
Starting point is 00:11:27 I've always just gone from it's an attraction and then romantic. So I wanna just like put that out there that I don't have complete experience with this, but I know my friends do. My first thought for you is I would assume it's completely normal that to transition from being friends, you have had a completely platonic relationship
Starting point is 00:11:46 the entire time you've known him your entire life. And so to now be able to like openly be at a bar with your friends and be able to like hold his hand and kiss him, that's gonna take some like, almost like learning new muscle memory. And I would encourage you, you can even say it to him. Like, oh my God, I feel like sometimes when we're in public, we still almost go back to like being friends.
Starting point is 00:12:08 And I want to feel like we are in this relationship. I love you, this is so fun. So I'm okay if we like ramp up a tiny bit on the PDA. And so maybe you are holding hands on your way to dinner and you are having a quick kiss at the bar. Obviously don't be that annoying couple that's fucking tongue down throat, but you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:12:25 I think feel comfortable to lean into the things that you're clearly wanting, but again, I would let him know you're missing out on that. Now, not to be a skeptic, but I have to be honest. My biggest concern of all of this is sure, try the PDA, see if it works. I do think it's a little bit of a red flag that you're like, have you ever been in a relationship
Starting point is 00:12:48 with someone you just feel like you're friends with? No, and again, that's just my experience. But what I'm worried for you with is, were you so attracted to this person because it was this forbidden thing, right? You just said he had a girlfriend, you couldn't be with him, finally you're together. Like, was this someone that you were at an arms length,
Starting point is 00:13:14 like you're so close to him but you can't have him. So there's this forbidden nature that has almost been your entire relationship with him. You can't have him but you know you're in love with him. And he's always giving you eyes at the bar and you always kind of knew there was something, but he's in real, like that's intoxicating. That's addicting actually.
Starting point is 00:13:31 And so all of a sudden I'm worried that, are you now at this place in your relationship where you've finally gotten the guy that was always forbidden and it's kind of like, it was kind of more fun when it was forbidden and now we're here and I'm like, you kind of do still feel just like My friend like that's do you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:13:47 Cuz he's always been your friend and now that he's supposed to be more and he still feels like your friend Like you should have been finally you're able to be together. Let's rip each other's clothes off. Let's fucking go for it Oh my god. I love you so much. It feels like you're kind of like, huh So I think you need to look at yourself and be honest with yourself about how much of a narrative did you create in the buildup to this? This is a really random note, but it's almost similar I feel like to work relationships, like when it's this forbidden thing
Starting point is 00:14:17 and someone's gonna either have an affair or it's not an affair, but it's so forbidden and you're not allowed to be together. And then you like fuck once, but then it's like, now let's go into reality now let's live together and you have to know that I'm shitting and There's bodily things and it's not as sexy. It's like life is not constantly sexy, but when you're in a forbidden situation It's only mysterious and sexy and that doesn't last very long
Starting point is 00:14:41 I know I kind of left you with a lot there, but I think you have to figure it out for yourself and either one is gonna be fine but don't live in this limbo in a lie. You don't want to be just like with a best friend. You need to be physically and romantically connected to someone in order in my opinion to maintain a romantic long-term relationship. ["Wonder Who We Are Now"] Hi Alex, I have been with my boyfriend for four years on and off. He has cheated on me about five times with random women each time he was drunk. This last time I caught him and he bought me a ring after and promised he was going to settle down and propose to me. So I stayed with him.
Starting point is 00:15:50 It's now been five months and the ring is still on his nightstand. I know I should leave, but I've lost hope in myself to set boundaries. I don't think I'll find better. He's rich and good looking. And I feel like even the poor guy, I feel like even the poor ugly guys cheat
Starting point is 00:16:06 So true. So what do I do? I mean, it's so annoying when they're like actually fucking ugly and busted and like below you and you're like and you're still cheating It's a it's an insecurity thing. Don't get upset about it. Um, okay. Holy shit. Let's talk about this. I have been in situations where I'm in a relationship and the guy is successful and good looking and all the things and I have just completely lost my self-worth and I have completely lost myself and I'm convinced in those moments even as shitty as he's treating me as much as he's cheating on me, I don't know if I can leave because there's gonna be nothing else out there. And I've already invested so much time into this person.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Like maybe it's gonna get better. Maybe it's gonna get better. When you are asking yourself in a relationship, it's gotta get better, right? Like it's gonna get better. Eventually it's gonna get better. It's literally only gonna get worse. Unless it is mutually agreed upon and there's therapy
Starting point is 00:17:05 and there's like actual genuine effort from both sides equally, which is so fucking rare. If you keep asking yourself this, it's probably never gonna get better. What I would say to you is it's so much less lonely actually just being alone because you have this straight path forward. You know yourself, you know what you want,
Starting point is 00:17:26 you start to build your confidence and you're one step away from just finding that right person. When you're in a fucked up situation and they're cheating on you, every fucking day, it is like you're just trying to remember who the fuck you are. You're just trying not to have a pit in your stomach.
Starting point is 00:17:40 You're just trying to get yourself to like even be at fucking baseline, not even happy, just like awake and okay and not crying that fucking day. There's so much energy I think that we don't recognize that we have to put into these situations and it completely depletes you. It's almost the point is that people don't leave because it's so exhausting,
Starting point is 00:18:02 because you're already so emotionally drained that he's hurt you so much. How am I even gonna be on my own? Like, how am I gonna do it? No, your life will be better the minute you leave. My advice to you is, a man who buys a ring as an apology, it's actually just gonna get worse. A man buying a ring because he cheated,
Starting point is 00:18:22 he didn't buy that ring because he wanted to give it to you. He didn't buy that ring because you guys had this beautiful foundation that you worked so fucking hard to get and you're both ready to make the next step. No, he bought the ring because he's like, hopefully this will fucking hold her over until the next time I cheat and she'll forget. And then I don't actually have to give her the ring, but this will hold her over. Don't be the girl that's just getting held over by him fucking up and then apologizing and then the flowers and the girl, you deserve so much fucking better. You are writing this in, you know your answer.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Five other women, the minute you accept a ring from someone, it is gonna make it harder to leave. I'm not saying you can't because daddy gang, you know I would tell you, even if you have a ring, even if it is the fucking day of your wedding, I'd rather you lose all that fucking money than go down that aisle if it's not what you genuinely fucking want.
Starting point is 00:19:11 But each step, moving in together, getting the ring, planning the wedding, kids, all of it, each step towards a more formalized and finalized relationship makes it harder to leave. So let him keep that fucking ring on that nightstand and get out while you can. And once he gives you that ring and if you put it on your finger,
Starting point is 00:19:35 this man is going to feel so relaxed. This man is gonna be like, ah, I'm cracking open a fucking bottle. I'm going to the bar tonight. I got this bitch on lock. I'm about to go fuck and get sucked and have the time of my life tonight because I know now she's never leaving.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Now I got her right where I need her. She's gonna stay here. She's gonna be my bitch and I'm fucking living. That cannot be you, daddy gang. Don't let it be you. He has shown you exactly who he is. Imagine if you reward his behavior by taking the fucking ring.
Starting point is 00:20:12 He's gonna be like, I've got the fucking best of both worlds. I got a wife and I get to go cheat on her and she always takes me back. Don't let it be you. That's something that I feel like when I'm sitting here on the couch giving advice, I will admit, like, I always wanna bring myself back to the moment I found out one of my more serious boyfriends
Starting point is 00:20:35 was cheating on me. And the way you kinda almost can't, like, listen to anyone in those moments because understandably everyone's coming at you to get you out and at first you just want someone to be like, I know you love him so fucking much. Like two minutes ago before you knew who he was cheating,
Starting point is 00:20:58 you loved him and you thought that he was the love of your life. I so get that. So you're so disoriented. So you almost need to unpack like, yes, there's love of your life. I so get that. So you're so disoriented. So you almost need to unpack like, yes, there's love on your side, but he is showing you actively he doesn't respect you, therefore he doesn't love you.
Starting point is 00:21:14 And I think you wanna be with someone that loves you. How fun, how amazing to get to be with someone that respects you and loves you. And so it's like validating that what you brought to the relationship is real, what you feel is real, the love you brought is real. But at some point you gotta stand up and be like, okay, I would like to feel loved.
Starting point is 00:21:36 I would like to feel what I give to someone, I want them to give it back to me. Empathizing, it's not easy to leave, but eventually it's all within yourself. No friend, no family member, that's also to friends and family listening. You can't make someone leave. They've gotta do it on their own.
Starting point is 00:21:51 You can be supportive, but to a point. Maybe it's gonna take him 10 times to cheat, but I hope the fifth was enough. My coworker and I have been friends for a year now, but we just admitted to each other that we have real feelings. We constantly flirt at work, we're very touchy feely, and I was so excited finally to lay our feelings out in the open. But the issue is, he confessed to me
Starting point is 00:22:36 that he has a girlfriend. Guys, this is like actually turning into like a really sad Father's Day. He told me verbatim, I really like you, but I do love her. Now I'm so confused about what to do next. Why? What? Like girl, come on. No, I'm so confused about what to do next. I really care about him and he makes comments about our future after his girlfriend, but it's just been months now and nothing has changed.
Starting point is 00:23:02 He gets mad at me though, whenever I talk to another guy or go on a date, I'm sad he's stringing me along but I feel even worse for his girlfriend. Do I tell her what's happening? If they break up do I go for it? Oh my god. Okay my first question is why would you want to be with a man who flirts this much with other girls when he's in a relationship? Like you saying once if he leaves her, should I go for it? Yeah, to then be the fucking main bitch and know he's gonna have a side. He clearly likes the main course. He's clearly going for more.
Starting point is 00:23:34 You're never gonna be the only. I'm a little worried that you're interested in this and I get, I kind of mentioned it earlier, I get the workplace dynamic for people apparently is like, you know, there's this sexual tension, there's this mystery around it. You don't, you know, have to bring your baggage to work. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:23:54 It's like, it's, I guess, fucking hot. And you're seeing him in an environment that's kind of high stakes. And so it's forbidden. But the forbiddenness goes too far when you tell me he has a fucking girlfriend and he's honest about the girlfriend and he says he loves her but he likes you, girl.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Okay, here's my advice. I feel I'm worried for you that you're not seeing how manipulative this is. Like he is telling you exactly what you want to hear. He's keeping you at bay. He tells you things about your future, but then he keeps mentioning the girlfriend. So you don't get a little too comfortable being like,
Starting point is 00:24:32 okay, when's the end date? Like, let's pick this shit up. So he's very, very good strategically about making you feel insecure, making you feel good, and then pulling it away really quickly. That is extremely toxic behavior. So you don't deserve that. But this man is never gonna leave his relationship for you
Starting point is 00:24:51 because let's say it was true love. And the minute you guys started hitting it off, then he was like, I have to go home. I have to tell my girlfriend I'm done with her. Like, I wanna pursue this. Maybe the fact that this has been two fucking years and he's just like, meet me at the fax machine and he's like, hey, Becky.
Starting point is 00:25:11 And then he's like, God, my girlfriend was so good in bed last night. I had the most romantic dinner, but I really like you. Oh, you would look so good in red lingerie. Like the fuck, what the fuck, okay? And I don't think you need to tell this girlfriend, you, how do I say this kindly? Well, I said we're gonna be a little bit more like,
Starting point is 00:25:30 rough around the edges, say, you've been being a piece of shit, right? Like, I think we can start normalizing, hating the guy that's cheating, but then also like holding the woman accountable and being like, but you know this guy's in a relationship or you know he's married or you know he's taken, you know what I mean? Like, you as a human being shouldn't want to
Starting point is 00:25:48 be the other woman, right? Like we have respect for ourselves. We want to feel like we are in control of our life and we're being positive and we're not like fucking shit up, right? So I do think you reaching out to her, it's like, fuck off. Two years you've been basically having an emotional relationship with my boyfriend. Yeah, I don't need to hear that from you. It feels almost the way that you're writing it, a little manipulative because it's, you also write in your question,
Starting point is 00:26:16 well, if he leaves her, should I take him? No, I don't think you need to engage with this girlfriend. I think you need to put an end to this and she will figure out he's a piece of shit on her time. Okay, she doesn't need to hear it from the woman that wants to fuck her boyfriend. My biggest advice to you is you need to cut this off. And how you're gonna do that is a little bit different
Starting point is 00:26:39 than what I would usually say because it's in a work environment. So you have to see this man every single day. And I don't know how close quarters you guys are, but it sounds like you potentially also have to work with him like physically in person. So my advice to you is this week, you're gonna go into work.
Starting point is 00:26:54 And when he comes over to your desk or whatever the fuck, maybe you have a standing desk, maybe you have a sitting desk, maybe you're in a conference room, maybe you're in a fucking cube, go out into the fuck you are. But he comes over and you're gonna say, hey, I have been thinking about it a lot lately
Starting point is 00:27:08 and I wanted to let you know that this isn't working for me anymore. I've thought about it and I feel, I honestly feel really horrible and disgusting and I don't like this dynamic of going behind your girlfriend's back and being the other woman and I honestly can't explain why I've been going along
Starting point is 00:27:28 with it for so long. I obviously like you, but not enough to feel dirty and weird and I'm removing myself from the situation. And I ask that you respect that and my boundaries and we can keep it professional at work and let's be done with it and let's both move on. And I think that is how you have to handle it. But again, really making sure you're like,
Starting point is 00:27:51 respect my boundaries. Cause if he fucking doesn't and then he comes on harder, yeah, you're probably gonna have to fucking go to HR or some shit, but right back in if that happens. End of day, don't be the other woman because you never get out of it what you want and you never, you're always feeling like you're this special prize.
Starting point is 00:28:12 You're always feeling like, oh, he likes me so much. He's willing to go outside of his marriage or outside of his relationship. No, he doesn't. He actually has you compartmentalized in a part of his brain as this like fun thing that's like the secret. And the minute if he had to actualize it, he's probably going to pick his wife or his
Starting point is 00:28:33 girlfriend over you. Because most of the time with mistresses, there is something that they're not getting in their main relationship that you're filling, but it's one part of it. You probably don't have everything else that the girlfriend has that that's why he's in the relationship with her. You know what I mean? And I'm not putting you down, I'm just saying,
Starting point is 00:28:52 the reality is being a mistress is really fucking complicated and you don't wanna get yourself in that situation because you build this thing up only if not 99% of the time to be brought back down and feel like shit about yourself. You deserve better. Questions of the mother. Okay, my boyfriend has a very big issue with my past. He found my list of people I have been with
Starting point is 00:29:16 and he was pissed. He actually broke up with me initially, but after a while we got back together. The issue now is I feel like he is constantly making judgmental comments about me being easy or having a high body count. He always says he's just kidding, but how can I get him to stop caring that I was with guys before him?
Starting point is 00:29:34 I'm obsessed. I feel like every single girl has a list of the guys she's ever been with. How fun. I just think it's so fun. I think mine, I have mine written in a book somewhere. And then I also think I have one in my notes app. It's fun. You know, it's a fun little conversation starter
Starting point is 00:29:49 when you're with your girls and you're like, wait, how many, wait, what? It's fun. It's life, okay? I remember the men that have been inside of me and I have a husband and that's okay. Like I had a past. When I was with them, I didn't know my husband existed.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Okay, my first note to you is this sounds like a really insecure or Possessive man. I don't have enough information to know but Overall, that's not the move. I think insecure men have a really hard time wrapping their head around that you were with someone else and That's like really fucking crazy to me. Like we've all lived, we've all had a good time. And if anything, everyone we've been with prior to
Starting point is 00:30:32 has helped us become the person we are today, right? Even the bad fucking shitty boyfriends or the bad hookups, they've let you know what you don't like, right? And so I think someone that's incapable of recognizing a past is a past for a reason, it's really immature. My other worry is the possessiveness. When you're saying he's making rude comments like you're easy, I feel like that's a really manipulative
Starting point is 00:30:58 thing to be saying to you. I always go back to what my dad used to tell me if someone was bullying me when I was younger. I think your answer next time he says that, if you were just being catty, is like, what's your point? I was so easy, what's your point? Do you not wanna be with me anymore? He's like, well, no, I'm just saying,
Starting point is 00:31:18 I'm really fucking shocked how easy you were. What's your point? What's your point? Are you trying to put me down right now? Or do you want me to get upset? Do you want me to defend myself? Like you let me know what's your point. What do you want me to do?
Starting point is 00:31:32 You want me to leave? You want me to call them? Do you want me to detail everyone for you? Do you want me to pretend you're the first person I've ever had sex with? Like what do you want? What will make you feel better? You little fucking bitch boy with a micro
Starting point is 00:31:47 and a fucking half chub. Shut the fuck up. Like it's so weak loser energy. Ugh, I'm honestly, if anything, it's like, oh, I can't even imagine fucking you anymore because it's like, you're so insecure. How many people have you had sex with? Rod?
Starting point is 00:32:04 I don't know what his name is, but it sounds like he's a Ben or a Rod. How many people have you had sex with? Should we compare notes? It's so immature. Anyways, my advice to you would be, I think if this man is not willing to let this go and he's willing to ruin your relationship
Starting point is 00:32:20 because of your past, this is not the person that you need to be with. I think it is completely normal in a relationship to talk about your past with your partner. Obviously not in a way that you're like, ah, me and Gerard used to fucking do that together on Saturdays, this reminds me of that. Like, no, you're not bringing fun, positive things
Starting point is 00:32:44 from previous relationships into your new relationship. But without a doubt with Matt, I have absolutely probably talked about every single X, serious X that he and I have both had. And we've talked a lot about the things we learned from those relationships or the triggers that we had from those relationships or things that we didn't like about those relationships because I can say this just coming from my own perspective
Starting point is 00:33:09 and I don't know if this is obviously for everyone, but Matt and I from pretty early on in our relationship agreed that being super open about our past and our exes and our just like experience with them in those ways allowed us to get to know each other more and grow with each other and be more aware of like, oh, I know this thing upsets Matt because this happened to him in a previous relationship or he knows
Starting point is 00:33:37 certain triggers of mine because of previous relationships. That I think is really healthy to be aware of where we've come from and what has created us into the person we are in a relationship today. So what I do think you could do is have a conversation with him. Sorry, I had to like call him a little bitch boy nine times, but if you were being healthy, you could say this to him,
Starting point is 00:33:59 hey, I have been thinking a lot about how you keep making these comments about my body count. And it's every single time been in a really degrading, derogatory manner. It's not coming from a place of even if you're pretending to joke, it's very obvious. It doesn't feel good. And it feels like there's anger, honestly, underneath it and judgment. And I am not ashamed of my past.
Starting point is 00:34:31 And I also am not hiding anything from my past. So I am more than open. If you wanna sit down and ask me anything about my previous relationships, I am here. I wanna be open with you. However, I refuse to feel like I should be ashamed of things I did or people I was with before I met you, because emphasis on it all happened before I met you.
Starting point is 00:34:57 And I can't continue this relationship if you're gonna hold something over my head that has nothing to do with you. And if he is like, I'm so fucking sorry, if I'm trying to get underneath why I was doing that, like maybe it's because I'm insecure, amazing first step. And then you say, but babe, I'm like literally here, like I will talk about things with you.
Starting point is 00:35:17 I also don't wanna like rub things in your face nor that I would wanna hear you rub it in my face of your previous relationships. Unfortunately, the way that he's being so childish and immature in the way he's jabbing at you, I don't know if that's gonna be his response. And what I can tell you is sometimes it takes leaving someone to, sure, let him go grow up
Starting point is 00:35:42 and one day maybe a woman will meet him when he's grown up, but you shouldn't have to fucking train a man to grow up. That's not on you. Okay, we only have one fucking life. Like he can handle his business and you should yours. Don't stay with a man that is going to make you feel smaller or less than and ashamed of something that at the time either was a great memory in your life or not a great memory in your life. Regardless, it happened to you. You can't take it back. You want a partner that loves you for who you are.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Men are so fucking lame. Like I can't, are you kidding me? Okay, next. Father, I've been really struggling with adjusting to so many big changes at once. Getting engaged, moving out, buying a home, trying to balance work, staying healthy, nurturing relationships, and being present in friendships and family relationships.
Starting point is 00:36:31 It's a lot. I'm in the thick of it right now and honestly, I'm struggling. Some days I feel like I'm barely keeping up, like I'm constantly behind and letting something drop. I know this is supposed to be an exciting chapter, but it's also really overwhelming. Did you ever feel this way? And how did you get through it? Okay, I can definitely relate to this. I feel like something I connect with you on is when so many things are going well in your life
Starting point is 00:36:59 and your relationships and the things and they're thriving and blah, blah, blah, and you're doing a million things and everything like on paper things and they're thriving and blah, blah, blah, and you're doing a million things and everything like on paper looks like you're thriving. Sometimes that's actually when you feel not as happy almost because you're wearing a million different hats, you're having to kind of spread yourself thin.
Starting point is 00:37:20 And even though it looks like you got it all going on, you're only able to pour so much into every little bucket that you actually are just like, I can't take this anymore. And you almost feel like you're at a breaking point. So yes, I get it. Work and life and relationships and friendships, it's so fucking much.
Starting point is 00:37:37 And sometimes I will admit, like sometimes I feel like I only have the capacity for friendship and work or work and my romantic relationship or my romantic relationship and family. And then I'm like, fuck, I'm slipping on work. Like, I don't know if you can do it all, you know? Like, I don't know if it's possible because in order to do something and feel fulfilled
Starting point is 00:38:00 and be happy and doing it to your 100%, like a lot of times something else has to suffer a little bit, not in a negative, it's just you have to prioritize. So my advice to you would be recognizing that there needs to be a give and take and a balance. And sometimes I look at my life, and again, everyone's different depending on their work and everything,
Starting point is 00:38:22 but like I look at my life in months sometimes I always joke to my assistant. I'm like I have to see the month view on Google calendar like please do not show me the week I need to visualize my month because What am I doing? Am I lighter on work? Great. I'm probably gonna schedule a bunch of stuff with my family I'm gonna have either go visit friends or they'll visit me. Like I'm going to do more date nights with Matt, like give pour into my personal. If I know how I have an insane work month, I'm probably going to pour into my husband
Starting point is 00:38:52 and make sure that we're good in the midst of chaos of work. So it's like being okay when you feel like you're kind of letting things go, because really what you're doing is allowing other things to soar and to be a hundred percent on your mind and give your a hundred percent too. It doesn't mean it's fucking easy though. Sometimes I'm literally like, oh my god am I being a bad friend? I haven't called Lauren, I haven't called Chris, and I haven't called Jackie in two weeks and it's like no
Starting point is 00:39:21 because guess what they're doing the same exact fucking thing because if they needed me they would call me or text me. But they're busy with work, they're busy with their relationships, they're busy with their friendships. So everyone's every month in my head, we're all playing like, who's up, who's down, what's your priority and that's okay.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Also, I think we have to be a little bit more lenient with ourselves, and I am definitely victim of it. When you get so in your head if you miss out on something, whether it was you had to cancel a date night because you were working late, or you weren't able to go to a work thing because you had a family thing, or all of your girlfriends went out,
Starting point is 00:39:57 but you have plans with your partner and you're like fuck I'm missing out on girls night, I think we get this anxiety that comes over us that feels all consuming and it almost feels like everything else you don't care about, but oh my God, I'm not getting to go to my girls dinner and they're all, I'm gonna get pushed out of the group and I'm gonna miss out on inside jokes
Starting point is 00:40:18 and they're gonna not, you know what I mean? Like you feel like you're losing and you're slipping away when you don't 100% prioritize something. And I'm here to tell you, if you have the right friends, if you have the right relationship, it's gonna be okay. And I think sometimes it also comes down to where are you at in your life? Like I recently just said on my solo episode,
Starting point is 00:40:41 work right now for me is the most important thing in my life and so is my husband. And now my family just moved to LA and now I'm like, oh my God, I'm juggling. Wait, Matt, I just dropped the ball. I forgot that we had a date night because I told my mom that she could come over. I'm like, fuck.
Starting point is 00:41:02 And my friends know I'm going through so much shit in LA right now that I don't need to be like up in my friend's assholes this month. And they know that. So it's like, it feels overwhelming. It feels like you wanna do it all. But when you try to do it all, you're actually just hurting yourself.
Starting point is 00:41:20 And when you have the right support system around you, even if you don't prioritize something, it will be there when you're ready to prioritize it. And it doesn't mean it will be worse. It doesn't mean you're going to lose it. It just means for a couple days, weeks or a month or a year, that thing is on the backburner because you're putting all of your energy into X. Gorgeous. You can't do it all.
Starting point is 00:41:42 And this is something I write about in my journal every week. I don't have a journal, but I have my notes app and I'm like, don't stress. Life is going to be okay. Your mother-in-law doesn't need to come over for dinner on Friday because you and Matt need to have a date night because you haven't had a date night in three weeks. Like you just got to prioritize. And listen, I feel like I've gotten to this place in, I hate saying like turning 30, but I don't know, you have to like use excuses in life to be like, this was a milestone. I feel like I've gotten a lot better at
Starting point is 00:42:20 not being so stressed if I'm missing out on things or if I'm maybe not a part of something that I wish I was because I again know like I'm really, really invested in my work right now. And when I look back, I know I'm going to be really happy that I invested so much of my time there. And I have beautiful friendships in a relationship that I know can withstand me putting pressure on myself
Starting point is 00:42:51 to push it and go and go hard these whatever many years. And I don't think that I should feel guilty about that, but I get as women, we do feel guilty. And it just takes communication. Like Matt always knows, you're super busy this week. Matt knows on certain days, he's like, oh, I'm definitely not getting laid because I know my wife is so fucking stressed.
Starting point is 00:43:11 What can I do? He makes me a bubble bath, there's candles, there's wine. And sometimes Matt's like, I'm gonna get downstairs and watch the Dodgers. I made you a bath, babe. Love you so much. And I'll be like, Matt, that was so sweet. And sometimes I take the bath.
Starting point is 00:43:23 And then there's nights where I'm like, I'm actually not as stressed. I'm gonna come down and we're gonna eat together like it's a give-and-take so I Don't know but it's fucking hard. So happy Father's Day. I hope you guys Enjoyed this episode. We're so fucking back DM me or I always post the questionnaire on my story and it links you to where you can write in happy motherfucking Father's Day and go give your dads a kiss and a hug for me and if you don't have a dad look we just hang out how fun I love you guys and I will see you in two Sundays from now goodbye you

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