Call Her Daddy - How to Spice Up Your Relationship

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

This week Call Her Daddy is bringing you a SOLO episode. Father Cooper finally moved into her new home she bought with her boyfriend and this has raised some serious concerns. Buying a house before marriage?! She discusses the pressures of a “timeline” and why this concept is absolute bullshit. Alex opens up about difficult family situations she’s had to overcome and what she is doing this year to take back the holidays. Has your relationship veered more towards feeling like roommates rather than lovers? You don’t have to settle for this - Alex breaks down what she believes it takes to keep passion alive in a long term relationship. Stick around for the sex - Father Cooper details her favorite new sex position and explains exactly what to say if your partner refuses to use a vibrator in the bedroom.

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Hello, Daddy Gang. It is your founding father back at it again for another episode of Call Her Daddy. This is going to be a solo episode. I wanted to do a little life update, a little life update. We're going to do a little life update today. Okay, I asked you guys on Instagram if you wanted to hear something from me. And you guys specifically asked for a life update. So don't even think about it. I'm going to fuel my ego, my narcissistic bitch inside of myself. And we're going to talk about me today. I just moved in to my new house. Not really because, you know, moving in is never moving in. I'm living in boxes right now, you know.

And I will say my goal is to try to not fill it with hoodies and sweatpants. It is a majority currently, but I do have some dresses in there, which I'm very excited about. I'll probably never wear them, but it's good to see. And I'm trying to also make everything that you can visually see the most like cuter outfits. So if people come by, they're like, oh, but really, my boyfriend was like, I didn't even know you owned all these clothes because I've never seen you in them. I don't even know what your body looks like, Alex, because you're wanting to know where everything is. And also, I'm a control freak. So I'm going to absolutely be the one that's organizing my closet, even if it takes me two goddamn years. Also, something I'm curious about daddy gang, DM me is, do you have a designated side of the bed that you need to sleep on for me it's going to be the farthest from the door I don't want to die first I want to be as far as possible so my every time I say this my partner is like so, so I die first? What the fuck? Yes, absolutely. It's

called survival of the fittest, motherfucker. Give me a shot to tuck and roll, backflip, pick up Henry, shove you closer to the person coming in and let me make it. Do you know what I mean though? So I picked the one that's farthest away from the door, but it is farthest away from the TV, which has been prohibiting me from binging every single possible reality television show that I deserve to be watching. My poor boyfriend is like, Alex, it will be there tomorrow. Please shut the fucking TV off. How about you mind your fucking business and let me binge till my eyeballs bleed out and are dried up. I just can't stop. Something about

reality TV puts me into a place of such sedated energy where I feel so relaxed. I feel like all of my problems are completely to the wayside because I need to watch Kathy Hilton bitch at Lisa Rinna about God knows what. You know what I mean? It makes me feel better about my life and we need that kind of energy on a day-to-day. All the shit we deal with, Daddy Gang, we need people to make us feel better about ourselves. You wanna know what didn't make me feel so comfy cozy about myself and my personal choices?

Okay, OG Daddy Gang, you will know this. If you are new to this show, let me give you a quick little recap. Back when I lived in New York City, you will know this. If you are new to this show, let me give you a quick little recap. Back when I lived in New York City, I had a dream. My entire life, all I wanted to do was be able to buy myself a restoration hardware cloud couch. So finally, when I got myself my own apartment in New York,

I got myself the cloud couch. It was truly one of the best days. I felt so ecstatic about my decision. I didn't regret it. It was truly one of the best days. I felt so ecstatic about my decision. I didn't regret it. It was an investment piece. And I just fucked myself, quite literally fucked myself on my investment piece. I had sex with a man on the couch the first day I got it, thought it would be fun to kind of like break it in. Not so fun because there was cum all over one of the cushions to the point where it was completely ruined. There was nothing that I could do. We tried to wash it. We put water on it. Suede and cum don't go together. Fast forward to me moving into this new home. boyfriend and I chose this gorgeous gorgeous suede this suede gray bed I will send you all a picture

of it as if we're on a text chain I will post about it okay it's beautiful so the first night that my boyfriend and I are able to sleep in our new home in the bed we don't really have all of our furniture but the minute we got the bed we're like we're going we sleeping there. We don't give a fuck if there's no toilet paper, there's no couch, there's no chairs. If there's a mattress and a bed, we're in. So the first night, my boyfriend and I decide to have a nice, good old fashioned ceremony to break in the home, AKA let's fuck. So my boyfriend and I start fucking, we're having incredible sex. You know, all the endorphins were going just because it was like we moved in. Yay. Cheers. Fuck me in the asshole.

And then as my boyfriend is fucking me from behind recently, there's just been something the little cum guzzler that I am disgusting. Sorry. Teeth need to be white girls. OK. All of a sudden I decide recently I've been loving to like swallow his cum instead of him coming on me. I don't know. I don't listen. I don't, maybe my boyfriend's cum tastes good. I've dated some guys in the past that their cum literally tastes disgusting, which that's

a whole nother fucking topic. Why do some men's cum just taste so nasty? Thankfully I drink this shit like juice. Okay. so nasty. Thankfully, I drink this shit like juice. Okay, so we're fucking and he's fucking me from behind. And I, the acrobat that I am, decide as he's about to come and he's letting me know, oh, fuck, baby, I'm going to come. I'm like, come in my mouth. As he's about to come, I whip around thinking, squirt it out my mouth, babe, like just squirt it right in like a squirt gun but my boyfriend I hadn't fucked in a while because I had just gotten back from New York so he was really backed up you know he was really excited to fuck his girlfriend where he decided

that he wasn't just gonna be a straight shooter it was a hose I I got annihilated. Every fucking angle this wiener hole could spray it, it banged out like a fucking piñata. It was pretty jarring. It went everywhere. It went on my face. I got a facial. I got a nice little, I got some in my mouth. I did. But you want to know where it also went?

One shot went right by my mouth. I did. But you want to know where it also went? One shot went right by my eye. Honestly, I would have loved to take it in the eye and have fucking an eye infection for the rest of the week. Because instead of going in my eye, Daddy Gang, the cum shot directly onto our new suede headboard. My boyfriend immediately said, don't worry, calm down, calm down. Let's just text our designer. She'll have the cure. Excuse me. I'm pretty sure it's quite inappropriate to text your designer like, hey girl, I know you just got our new bed for us. We got cum all over it. Do you have any remedies? And let me also clarify, I know from past experience that suede and cum don't mix, baby. But the good thing about my cloud couch that I got cum all over was I could flip a cushion. You can't flip a goddamn headboard.

And also another additive that you guys don't need to know more of my personal details, but my parents have never seen the house, never seen one inch of it, and they're coming in a few weeks. And you cannot hide that when they walk in to tour my bedroom, my mother and my father are going to stare directly at our headboard and see a large white cum stain directly spotted in the middle of our bed. Hey guys, what a nice welcome. I think the moral to this story is sometimes you should just fucking get cum on your stomach rather than try to be a fucking whore and put it in your goddamn mouth. Anyways, I moved into this house that I bought with my boyfriend I told you guys I think it was a couple months ago like four months ago that I decided to buy a house with my boyfriend I will

say there was some controversy controversial comments on the internet which I actually completely welcomed and respected of people being like you guys aren't married but you bought a house together how does that work? Let me share with you something that I've been thinking about lately. The norm, sure, is to get engaged, to buy a place, to get married, move in together, live happily ever after. Or you're moving in together, but you're renting a space, right? Because it's not permanent. Because this relationship ain't permanent, baby. Like unless we lock it down and get married, this shit is fucking here today, gone tomorrow, potentially. But that's not how I look at life anymore. I'm a free thinker. I've realized that a lot of the things that we're taught when we're younger are just stupid fucking constructs that

someone in ancient years decided was like, cool and the good way to go about things. I don't need to be fucking married to buy a house with my boyfriend. If it doesn't work out. Well, that will be a fucking disaster. But I'm willing to take the chance. Take a chance. Make a risk. Oh, take a risk. Make a change and break away. Shout out Kelly Clarkson OG. But it was shocking to me how many people were completely perplexed by the concept. And I was like, why do you fucking care? And I'm not even just talking about people on the internet. I'm talking about the locals in the area that we moved into. I don't even know who my left or right neighbor is. But you get it. Why do people fucking care what other people are doing? As I'm like the nosiest motivated recently to focus on what makes sense for me, what makes me happy, not what anyone else is doing, not what anyone else feels is like the regimen of when you get to this age, you need to do this. Like, I feel like it gives

me almost confidence recently when people are like, oh, my God, this is crazy that you bought a house and you guys aren't married. I feel good about it because it reminds me that I'm doing what I want to do. So I think I've just been starting to open my eyes to, hey, what makes sense for me and my partner and my friendships and my family relationships? And what makes sense for me and that relationship rather than what I was supposed to do? So to answer everyone's question, yeah, I'm having an absolute mental breakdown that I bought a house with my boyfriend

and we're not married. But here's the deal. Daddy gang, I see you in my DMs. I am reading you guys, writing into me being like, hey, big Al, big Coops, big Papa, how do you know when it's the right time to take the next step? Or how do you know when it's time to move in with someone? So let's talk about that a little bit. Because I asked my mom the other day, this is a absolute 180. And I can't believe I'm saying this. But I

asked my mom the other day, like, how will I know when I'm ready for kids? Because I do want children, I do want to have a family. But I have my career and my friends and I love my life with my boyfriend and that we get to enjoy Friday nights with peace and quiet. And as much as some days of the week, I feel like an absolute adult. There are other days of the week where I feel like a fucking child. But as crazy as it sounds, something inside of me feels like probably the next step for me in life that would make me feel fulfilled and happy is having a child. Hello? And I asked my mom, like, when will I know if I'm ready?

And she honestly was like, you know what? I don't think anyone ever is 100% ready. Even if you buy all the books and you know all the things you're never going to be 100% ready and knowing and that's obviously the extreme because we're talking about a fucking human coming out of your vagina but I think my my advice to myself right now and to all of you is like focusing on really dissecting what's in front of you rather than around you which is which I mean by that is of course you can ask your friends for advice but we really all are experiencing life so fucking differently we all have different traumas we all have different family shit like me and my one friend can seemingly be so fucking similar when we're out at a bar

and we like the same jokes and we have the same humor and we dress the same. And yet my family fucking shit and trauma could be completely different than hers. Therefore, I have a complete different set of needs and wants and desires in a relationship than she does. So I guess my point is, I hope that you guys please talk to your friends and bounce ideas off of each other. But someone else's wants and desires should not influence what you want with your life. If you want to move in with your partner, and you want to take that step, and you actually are not sure if it's going to work, fucking go for it. What's the worst that can happen? It shows you that you're not compatible with that person, that you weren't meant to be with that person. I think that's a fucking blessing.

Or you could be someone that feels pressured to move in with someone and all of your friends are doing it or your partner's pressuring you and you know in your heart and for yourself and your own needs you're not ready for that that's okay just trying to focus on the relationship in front of you and what makes you happy rather than what you feel you're supposed to be doing and I guess that's a whole larger topic of like, when we're in our 20s, when we're in our 30s, especially if like as women, I feel like we have so much pressure on us for our timeline. And so many moments that we feel so lost and alone and like fucking shit because we're not in line with the timeline. And if anyone, not even in

your immediate life, if anyone you even follow on social media, it looks like they have it together. It looks like they're following that. And by 28, they were married and 30, they popped the kid out and now they bought the house and they're moving to the suburbs. And you're like, I'm still eating ramen noodles. I live in the city. I'm fucking miserable. I don't know the last time I went on a date. It's okay. It really is. It really is. And I know it doesn't feel that way. And I wouldn't say everything's going to be fine. No, no, no. You got to figure it out. But you have to figure it out. You can't just copy someone else's desires. Because like I said, that's not actually going to fulfill you because you're not the same as your friend.

You don't have the same wants and needs and dreams and interests. You can't. In the spirit of thinking for myself and feeling excited by just being like, you know what? Fuck the fact that I mean, I know a lot of my distant family members think I'm insane that I started a podcast talking about sex and I haven't really had a similar relationship since with them because it was full judgment. And it's like, well, I'm not judging you that you live off of your parents' money and you've never had to get a job and you're a trust funder. I've never judged you. I'm fully judging you. But do you know what I mean?

Like, I'm not saying that to them. I'm not judging you that you don't have to work. I don't judge you. You know what I mean? So why are you judging me? Judge in private. How about that? We're all always going to judge people that is so innately

as human beings because it's comparison. And it doesn't always have to be fueled by insecurity. It's actually just our brain being like, I'm comparing myself to that person's experience. Sometimes it's jealousy. Sometimes it's gratitude. The point is, is I realized, I think that when you're in that stage of trying to figure your life out, a lot of times older people try to impose their opinions and their will on you and they try to navigate and dictate your life for you of like, this is what worked for me. When most of the time those people are fucking miserable. Half of the fucking adults that I know never accomplished their dreams and never got to

do what they wanted. And so I feel as though the people in my life that doubted me and questioned me, the reason it, of course, it affected me in some capacity. I'm not going to sit here and be like a fucking psychopath being like, I didn't give a fuck when some of my fucking extended family thought I was a slut. Yeah, it wasn't great. But I also knew what I was doing was something that was making me happy. And so I encourage anyone that is feeling a little lost to try to block out the noise of older people telling you what to do, younger people telling you what to do, people at work, people front like, what do you want to do? And I think it's really hard to come to that answer. But I do think the more that you're able to hone in on what makes you happy, even if you can't

immediately implement it, that's the beginning of you being able to take control of your life. So anybody that feels lost in their 20s and 30s, yeah, you should feel that way. Because that's actually a good feeling. No, it's not a good feeling. No, you should feel that way. Because that's actually a good feeling that it should you know, it's not a good feeling. No, that's an awful feeling. But it's a good thing. Because what it means is you're actually trying to figure shit out. And you're not just going with the mold. To wrap it up, focus on you be aware of what makes you happy. Be selfish with your energy and your time and don't let other people stress you out. If you're not on the timeline that your friends are on, it's probably a fucking good thing. And it means that you're not allowing other people to dictate your fucking life because it's yours, bitch. Own it and do what the fuck you want and fuck everyone that tries to judge you or tell you otherwise. You are a goddamn queen. You are a goddamn king. I love you, Slay.

So my boyfriend has been renovating the whole house with this team. And I've just been completely alone and aloof purposefully. Just not wanting to fully participate. Because how about this self-awareness? I know what I want things to look like. Like I know the vibe, but I don't know how to get it there. And I also know I have good taste, but my boyfriend has better taste. Oh my God. And I think the reason he has better taste is because with his job, he's helping create worlds and sets and aesthetics. And I am not.

Listen, my interior design experience started and ended when I was in middle school. When I was younger, I was obsessed with redoing my room. My mom would give me a little budget. I would go to the 99 cent store or I would go to five and below shout out. I don't know if they only have those in Pennsylvania. And I would just come up with these incredible, creative ideas to redo my room. I was obsessed. I would redo my room every few months. And I would really lean into the themes. I had a pop star themed room because I was obviously going to be a pop star. I had a pirate themed room, don't ask. And oh my god, I had an outer space themed room with the glow stars. That was kind of awful. I had a tropical theme. That was a fucking disaster. If you guys don't mind, actually, I'm going to tell you a

little quick story. I think it was like my 11th or 12th birthday. I think I had seen a Surfer Girl movie and was like, I wish I lived in Hawaii and was tan and had blonde hair. So I decided, let's bring Hawaii to me. So one year for my birthday, I convinced my parents to let me design my room like a tropical theme. And normally people, you know, would maybe put on some type of wallpaper that's palm trees or flowers. But I thought, oh, I've seen in Five and Below for tropical themed parties, they have this lay grass

straw that is like 10 feet long. Okay. And they're probably used to decorate a room for a party, but I wanted it to be in my room 24 seven. And so we go to this place and my parents let me buy like a shit ton of lay streamers essentially. And I cover every single inch of my walls with lay streamers. I had a sound machine that had the waves going. My siblings thought I was losing my mind.

I was thriving. My friends would come over and they were like, this is the coolest fucking room. They were probably lying to me, but I was happy. That's all that matters. So one day I'm having a sleepover with my friend Kristen. And she was like, you know, like these walls, like, I feel like there's something like behind your wall, Alex. And I'm like, Kristen, it's just the lays, like they have depth to them. And she was like, no, like, I think I see something a little bit behind the lei. Like, maybe you should go check. Sure, Kristen. So I stand up and I go to pull back the 10 foot long lei streamer and all I see is no longer my originally white painted wall behind the streamers every single inch of my wall was covered in stink bugs. It's disgusting. The point of this story is to let you know that

my creative abilities have always fucked me over when it comes to decorating. So my partner is going to spearhead the design process. And I'm comfortable enough with myself to recognize that the handoff is appropriate. And I will also say, so yes, we have been redecorating, but I skipped a whole part that you don't need to hear about. We completely redid this home. We gutted the whole house. We started fresh. But we were really hoping that the renovation and the redecorating would all be ready by November. Here we are. And it is ready. Thank fucking God. Why did we want it to be ready by November? We are going to be hosting Thanksgiving this year. I can't even fucking believe that I'm saying that.

I never thought that I would ever host Thanksgiving because family drama to me, I love to be able to leave. Who doesn't love a good Irish exit at the Thanksgiving dinner when all of a sudden your uncle's being a fucking cunt and you're like, you know what? I'm going to go and I can because this ain't my house. Well, this year it is at my house. So I'm going to have to do extra therapy sessions that week. But no, I am actually really excited. And let's talk about Thanksgiving a little bit because it's so fucking crazy. My relationships to Thanksgiving, my relationship, that, that's singular, not plural.

I think everyone has a love-hate relationship with the holidays. And if you have a just love relationship, then I fucking hate you because what the fuck? What, you have a perfect family? Fuck you. No, I would love to live in that la-la land of, you know what, everything's good. The holidays are perfect. And you know what's the most fucked up about holidays is you get so excited for them only for them to usually be a letdown. I told you guys this is going to be a fun episode. It's not. When I was growing up, my family would go to this place for Thanksgiving and I always hated it. I was so fucking upset and I knew my siblings, my sister and my brother and I hated going. We hated going because we were treated so poorly and I don't need to get into

all the details, but there was bullying and meanness and aggression and alcoholism. And at a young age of every year for Thanksgiving, I got a pit in my stomach. Let's just keep it at that. And finally, when I got to college, I got to a point where I was able to kind of advocate for myself, I guess. And I remember making up a lie. Oh, that's advocating for yourself lying. Well, whatever gets you out of the situation, right? I remember lying to my family. And I was like, I have strep throat. I can't go. My mom definitely fucking knew and she let me stay home. And so my whole family went to this extended family's place and I stayed home. I spent Thanksgiving alone. And I was just by myself in my house and I couldn't have been happier.

I remember I made like a little microwavable Stouffer's dinner. And I think this was my sophomore year of college. Yeah. And I stayed home in Pennsylvania and I like watched Harry Potter. And there may have been some tears, but it was almost like weird, happy, sad tears of like, I'm sad I can't be with my immediate family that I love so much, but I'm so happy that I created a boundary for myself that I don't need to put myself in a situation that is so toxic that I don't feel comfortable being in. And that's genuinely affecting my mental health. After that year, my immediate family, we never went back. And so the next Thanksgiving, we spent more with our internal family. And I was so much happier. And I think there was this part of it. And I don't know

if anyone will be able to relate to this. I think people can is I think when you see on movies, there's such a glamorization of the big extended families and the big events and so many people being there. And I definitely felt like when it was just my immediate family and it was the five of us, it felt weird. It felt kind of depressing. It felt like, oh, it's such a small group. It felt maybe like hypothetically less fun, if that makes sense. Like when you think of holidays, you want big families and cheaper by the dozen vibes and everyone running around and chaos. And even if there's fighting, it's fun fighting. And I think at first, my family kind of struggled that year of like, it's really quiet and it's really weird. And we're in Pennsylvania and it doesn't almost feel like a holiday. And I then

look back and I cherish that, that my family had the ability to be together and be happy rather than just doing something because what tradition? Fuck tradition. If it doesn't make you happy, get the fuck out. And I realize it's much harder than just saying fuck that and leaving but I just want to make anyone else feel seen that like if you're uncomfortable going to certain family things there is a way to try to find personally for you a way out of it because you should never put yourself in a situation especially like during the holidays when people are just fucking drinking so much and just so it just feels like so aggressive and like there's no rules it's just it's chaotic and I think it should be a happy time but I'd much rather be with myself than surround myself with something that is

quite literally deteriorating my mental health so that situation kind of came to an end because we removed ourselves. And then naturally, as one situation gets resolved, another one arises. So a couple years ago, my family, how do I say this? My family went through something very traumatizing. And Thanksgiving had a lot of now new added stress. When I look back at Thanksgiving, it made me yet again not want to go home. It made me uncomfortable and it made me really sad. We recently just got through it literally like a couple months ago and it's something I've been dealing with behind the scenes that has impacted my entire immediate family and I struggled with having any type of positive view of Thanksgiving I guess I'm realizing now in therapy and so it almost triggers me when the holidays come up um and Christmas is a little bit different but just something about Thanksgiving

and I don't know why well I guess I'm I fucking know why now. But I just wanted to say like, now I feel so fortunate because I found a relationship with my current boyfriend where I would be happy having Thanksgiving alone with him. I would be so happy just doing our own thing. I love my fucking family. I would want them here. But if I had to, and I think that's a testament to knowing like I'm with the right person is like as much as it's so fun to have so many people around for Thanksgiving and or Christmas or whatever holiday you're celebrating. If you have one person that you can rely on, it just makes it so much fucking better. So whether it's a friend, a partner, a family member,

I think going into holidays with a support, even if they can't be there in physical, like texting, calling, it's just really important to have that support system because shit gets so fucked up during the holidays. And I think we should, it's the most depressing time of the year and let's just normalize that. And so let's prepare for it. But I'm just excited to plan shit. Like I need to go get platters. Who knew three years ago she'd be talking about babies and platters. But I am. I'm really excited to go make the house look so festive and fun. And I want to have a good Thanksgiving this year. I really want to not have a pit in my stomach. I want to enjoy it. I want to allow myself to be present and in the moment because I know I'm going to be in safe company. My whole immediate family is flying out so they're going to be there with my boyfriend's family which I don't think we've ever done something this large. Like my parents have met his parents. My siblings have kind of

met his family at times, but it's never been like every single person from my family and his immediate family, plus some of his extended family and some of our friends from LA are coming to our house. And I'm just going to try to reclaim Thanksgiving and what it means to me because I'm going to be around people that I love and I feel good around. And I encourage every single fucking person listening to do that. Family doesn't have to be blood, baby. Okay. If your family fucking sucks and they're assholes to you, you don't need to fucking hang out with your family. Okay. Family can be a friend or a coworker, whoever makes you feel fucking good about yourself. Invite yourself to your goddamn friend's Thanksgiving. Okay.

They will love it. More the merrier. Like I said, cheaper by the dozen vibes. Add on to their fucking guest list. Okay. Don't sit around and be miserable. You deserve better. So let's talk about my sex life. I was having sex the other night and I had a fucking amazing orgasm. And you know what? Sometimes when I have sex, I don't have a fucking orgasm. But when I was orgasming, I wasn't thinking about my boyfriend. I was thinking about the daddy game. And I was thinking about how I feel like I haven't really been giving you guys sex tips lately. And I've been having some fucking incredible sex. I'm hoarding the good sex and I need to share the fucking wealth.

So let me tell you guys a little sex tip that I was doing the other day that was kind of just a concoction I came up with. It's very simple, but it's going to make sure you have the ultimate pleasure while your guy is eating you out. I want to be so clear. Most men, God bless you, fucking suck at eating box. It is a fact. And we have to, you know what, make them do it. We have to suck dick. Well, you don't have to suck dick. But if you're, you know, giving to your partner, it feels good for

them to get head. But it also feels good for us to get our pussy eaten. But you know what doesn't feel good is when they don't know what they're fucking doing. So instead of making them finger and eat out at the same time, they're not multitaskers. Women, we are. Men, not so much. Let me tell you what you're going to do, Daddy Gang. I have a vibrator that is like, you guys know what a bullet is? If not, well, not a bullet, like, okay, a bullet for in the sex toy world. Okay.

A bullet vibrator basically looks like a little bullet, but this one is a bigger bullet. So it is meant to go inside of your vagina. So what my boyfriend and I did the other night was I scooted to the end of the edge of the side of the bed. You can do it anywhere, just get to the side of the bed, right?

Or at the end. And my boyfriend got down on his knees and he was on the ground. So my vagina is, it's basically like I'm getting ready to go to the gynecologist's office, but like in a way hotter way. Okay. That doesn't sound sexy. I promise it's hot. Okay. I scoot to the end of the bed and I put both of my legs on my boyfriend's shoulders as he's on his knees on the ground at the edge of the bed about to eat my vagina. He took the bullet vibrator and he put it inside of my vagina. And also I put a pillow underneath my butt. So I'm kind of angled up a little bit and he put the vibrator inside of my vagina

and tilted it up basically towards my G spot, aka like as if you were going towards your stomach or your belly button. So immediately he's just holding it there and I have immediate G-spot stimulation. Then he started eating me out simultaneously. So I have stimulation inside my vagina and up on my G-spot, which I can basically also now feel kind of on my clit and he's eating out my clit.

As he's doing this this he's not moving the vibrator he's just holding it steady which i think is so fucking important because i think something men really struggle with is when you're really enjoying something some fucking reason they feel the need to switch it up i'm like oh yes yes and then they start going faster or slower or they move their tongue and i'm like if someone is giving you reassurance, you're doing something right. Why are you changing it up? Like just keep the course, bitch. So something I felt was really helpful is sometimes when I do that, I know guys like to like then go faster at fingering you. He kept the vibrator in the same position, eating my clit. And what I did is I told him to

hold it there. So ladies be loud and vocal of like, babe, just hold this in my pussy and eat my clit and what I did is I told him to hold it there so ladies be loud and vocal of like babe just hold this in my pussy and eat my clit out but then this is what I did I then started to control so I kind of started like lightly moving my hips towards his face and then back so I was kind of like fucking the vibrator and he took my cue and then just started to move his head along with it and then as I was about to climax I wrapped instead of having my two legs on his shoulders I then extended them out and wrapped them around his head and basically fucking suffocated him with my thighs and so now he's basically suffocating in my fucking pussy. And I started basically humping his face with the vibrator still inside of me and him eating me out. And I was, I'm sorry,

but if you start humping and you have a vibrator in you and someone's eating out, you're going to fucking have the craziest orgasm and you're not looking at his face. You are eyes to the ceiling, put a fucking pillow over your head. Put a fucking sleeping mask on. I don't give a shit. Get in your zone, auto zone, and let yourself go to a place that you need to get to get off because ladies, I'm telling you, am I talking too fast?

What you need to do is focus on the consistency of the vibrator. And honestly, he doesn't even need to be that good at eating out. Just tell him to lick your fucking clit. And that way, even when the, this is something I found that's good. Not that my boyfriend doesn't know where the clit is, but like I've had people in the past that didn't.

When you have your hole filled with a vibrator, there's only up to go. OK, there's you can only look up and you're going to find the clit. He's just got to put his fucking tongue there. And what my boyfriend's been doing recently is like licking it and then like lightly sucking it. Boyfriends, please, please do not do hard sucking. It's a light suck and then back to the lick. And it was truly one of the best combos I've had in a while. So for the past couple of nights, we've been like doing this where like I get to the edge of the bed. He puts the vibrator in me and then he can he eventually now kind of knows the movement. So he's been lightly fucking me with the vibrator. But I've told him like hand is steady. Don't get creative. When I want to get creative, you'll feel my body fucking the vibrator. You're not enjoying getting eaten out. And I feel like this is a really good way to allow them to be participating and also have the vibrator. But they're doing the work. The vibrator is just chilling. They're buzzing.

OK, really, the vibrator is doing all the fucking work and they're just kind of like there for a prop. But like, whatever, we'll let them think they're doing the God's Lord's work. Daddy gang, go get your pussy eaten. Please, for the love of God, get yourself a vibrator if you don't have one. It will change your fucking life and it will change your sex life and you'll actually start to enjoy fucking sex. OK, now, before I move on, I think this is a pretty underrated topic. And I know I talked about it like probably years ago and my advice was probably very different.

But a lot of you write in that your boyfriend is not comfortable using a vibrator during sex and you've given up trying to convince him. I think in the past, what I used to say is like, dump his ass, that little bitch boy, like fuck him. Like fucking throw a dildo at his head and tell him to man up fucking jerk off on his fucking dick and tell him you want this pussy again well you better start fucking it with a vibrator little bitch because your dick don't do shit and you don't even want to do with that mouth what that mouth do fucking nothing anyways I used to maybe give a little bit more aggressive advice that now I think is totally applicable if you're maybe not as communicative, healthy relationship, which

is fine. Again, you can throw a dildo in a vibrator's head and be like, use it or you're fucking losing it, aka me. But I have some advice, maybe healthy advice. I want you to approach this conversation differently because I'm not even going to try to sit here and understand why a man is so insecure about a woman using a vibrator. We can have a therapist on and dissect that. They're insecure. Okay. And they need to fucking get over it because sex is 10 times better, especially for a woman when you implement a

vibrator. Here is the direct conversation I want to give you guys to have. This is literally what you're going to say if you're having a problem implementing it with your fuck buddy, your partner, whoever. So this is what you're going to say. Hey, I know that we've discussed using a vibrator during sex, but I don't think that I've accurately explained what it means to me. I love our sex. I'm obsessed with our sex, especially I love that you care so much about getting me off and you want me to orgasm, even if it's maybe not the truth. They're fucking fragile. You can compliment them, even if it's maybe not the truth. You can, they're fucking fragile. You can compliment them.

Even if he hasn't touched your fucking clit in ages. Let's just start there. Okay. You got to build them up to break them fucking down. You're going to then say, again, I love that you want to make me orgasm, but it's not always guaranteed that I'm going to have an orgasm every time we have sex. I would say I have an orgasm about 50% of the time that we have sex. How often do you orgasm when we have sex? And he's going to look at you and say, um, every time. And you're going to say,

how would you feel going into sex knowing it's a 50-50 if you're going to have an orgasm? And imagine there's something out there that you know would guarantee you have an orgasm. So the vibrator isn't really just something fun or something to like spice up the relationship. It's directly tied to my ability to have an orgasm because it's just harder for girls to have an orgasm. I'm not discrediting our sex. Like I said, I fucking love our sex. I think you're so hot. I'm so attracted to you. I love our sex, but I probably would want to have sex more if we implement the vibrator because it just helps me. It's already a hard

time to orgasm. It just helps me get there. So I don't know, but I hope does that give you kind of like a better understanding of why I would really like to work to incorporate it into our sex life. I think helping a man understand, you little fucking shit, you can squirt it out, you little bitch. Every fucking time you could close your eyes. You don't even need to hear me moan. You little fucking shit. You can squirt it out, you little bitch. Every fucking time. You could close your eyes. You don't even need to hear me moan. You could look at the fucking ceiling. You could be looking at the goddamn light switch. You could be fucked. Whatever it is, you are going to fucking come, you little ungrateful son of a bitch. But we, it takes a lot more for some of us. women god bless you i love you

i wish i was you you can just fucking squirt it out and you go along with your day but i i know i personally i can't and i i'm grateful my boyfriend has never had kind of an issue but i think that's because he knows why would we go for the simple plan when we can get the deluxe? Give me that dick. Give me your mouth. Give me your fingers and give me a fucking vibrating toy. Sign me the fuck up. I'll fuck you every night. Well, no, I don't make any promises if you're listening. But do you know what I mean? So I think it's actually really approaching it like an actual conversation of logistically breaking it down for them of like, hey, this directly ties into my orgasm. I'm only orgasming even if it's not 50%. Bitch, if you're fucking

going 10%, you got to have this conversation. But maybe give him a 50%er because if you're in the 40 range or even below, he's going limp and he's not gonna be able to take it. And you know what? Some people may be like, just tell him the truth. I've never had a fucking orgasm with you. Uh, I think that there's a way to go about it, but I do think, I hope that conversation makes you feel better. And I do think you should have it with them because it's very important for you to prioritize your pleasure. When you're having sex, it is not just about the man getting off and you performing. Do not get me fucking wrong the amount of times that I'm like not having an orgasm and like, you know, I'm not in the mood and like they're going to get off easier, but like I still enjoyed it. I didn't come. You don't have

to come every time I've experienced. I love sex even if I don't have an orgasm. But if I have a fucking orgasm, I'm going to be like horny in the next two hours. Like I'm ready to go all the time. And why wouldn't we want to fuel our sexual desires of like, I want to enjoy myself too. I want to be the girl that's like fucking wanting to fuck all the time. And when my boyfriend is fucking me with his dick and my vibrator, I'm game. But if your partner is not prioritizing your pleasure, I do think this is a really good conversation to have. You got this, daddies.

Please practice it with your fucking self in the mirror if you're nervous. I promise you when you give them that little question of how many times and they go back and forth, it's going to click for them of like, oh, this isn't an ego thing. This is actually completely about her and has nothing to do with me. Let's talk about the amount of people that are freaking out like oh my god how do I spice up my relationship what am I doing and trust me I have fucking been there like you're googling like how to spice up a relationship we've been dating for two plus years blah blah I get it but something that I realized is like when we're dating and when we're single and when I say dating, I mean like dating around, not like in a committed relationship.

We are essentially trying to impress, right? No one is fully themselves. When you're going on dates, you're not 100% yourself. Just like you're not 100% yourself when you go to a job interview, when you meet your boyfriend's parents for the first time, when you meet a new friend group, you're never yourself 100%. It's a version of yourself. And that's healthy because you're assessing the situation and you're recognizing that you can ease yourself in, read the room, try to understand the vibe of the people, and then eventually you can open up to these people. And so when it comes to dating and sex, I feel like when I look back at my single life,

sex was so exciting because I felt it was a way to get closer to the person that I was seeing. And it was also still the courting game, right? Like we didn't have each other, we weren't committed. So there was still that allure and that anticipation of what's next or are they going to text? Are they going to call? Classic. We all know this. But when you get into a committed relationship, what I found now being in a two-year relationship is you have to create that feeling in the relationship and in a non-unhealthy way. So when I got into my relationship with my boyfriend, in the first couple months, it was like, oh, this is fucking incredible. Our sex life is insane. I would say when I hit the one year mark, I definitely I've talked about it. I was having birth control issues. And I think because I was like, I was like half living with him. I'm not gonna lie. Like I still had my own place. But

I was fucking sleeping there almost every night. I got a taste of what it was like to live together. And what I realized, and I think I talked about this with Nick Vial and Natalie Joy. When you start to live with your partner, there becomes a routine and a familiarity. And in a sense, you are roommates. That is a fact. And so you don't always want to fuck your roommate because your roommate annoys you at times or your roommate didn't do the dishes or left something or you're almost just so on top of each other that there's no ability to find the confusion and the spark and the unknown that you felt when you're getting ready for that date to go see the person that you don't live with you didn't know what they did all day etc and so after

the one year mark my boyfriend and I we I think we went to, I forget, I think we went to Santa Barbara on like a weekend getaway because we were like, we need to fucking get back after it. What are we doing? We've been like, we were having sex, but it doesn't feel like sexy and hot and fun. And we went away on a weekend and we had the best time. We had the best sex, the best time. The whole thing was great. Also, let me remind you, sex with someone that you're familiar with can be the best fucking sex. I think it's the hottest when you actually know the person's body. And also you guys are willing to try a bunch of things because you're so comfortable with each other. It's the best fucking sex when you're in a relationship, but you've got to make an effort to remind yourself

to actually put in the effort to have that great fucking sex. But anyways, going away that weekend, it was like, thank God we got out of our own environment. We're away from all the distractions of our life. We're away from all of the reminders of the stresses of our life or the shit that just makes us feel comfortable and cozy, aka being too comfortable and just going through a routine. And it just was like, fuck, yes, we are back. And let me be clear again, this isn't something you need to do all the time. Because if it is, that's concerning. It's like, we have to have stimulation, we have to have alcohol, we have to have, then that's obviously a problem. But like anything in life, when something

becomes a repetitive constant, it can feel more like a chore than something that you voluntarily want to do. And it's completely normal for this to happen. So first step of advice is, and I know it's all simple, but getting out of your natural environment that you're in 24 seven and making an effort to go do something different. You don't have to do an overnight. Go do just a different activity that takes you out of your day-to-day. When you live with someone, I think you have to be intentional of finding moments to break the routine or break the cycle that you're stuck in. You need to disrupt your routine. And I would just like to remind everyone, when you're single, you're craving that. You need to disrupt your routine. And I would just like to remind everyone,

when you're single, you're craving that comfortability of like, oh, like, I don't feel like playing the game tonight and like doing the thing and like kind of being myself, kind of not being myself. And then when you get into a relationship, you're like, oh, I'm craving that. Like, I want to feel desired. I want the unknown. I want to feel the allure. And I want to feel like I have to impress. Everyone wants what they don't have. But the good thing about once you get into a stable relationship is you can create that dynamic. You just have to be intentional about it. And when people ask me spicing up a relationship, it doesn't just mean sex. And I think it's very important to clarify. A majority of this has nothing to do with sex. I have this thing where I joke with my boyfriend and I'm always like foreplay starts at 7am. And when I first said it to him, he got all excited. He's

like, Oh, you want to fuck? I'm like, No, foreplay is not you just rubbing my clit. Love you, babe. Foreplay is you showing me you care and making me feel desired and making me feel turned on and making me feel special and feeling like you give a fuck about the relationship and vice versa. I'm not saying that they're always the ones in the wrong, mostly, but you know what I mean. And so it's about, I mean, he brings me coffee, he'll send me flowers at work, he'll send me a cute text. And the point is, is that you're doing little things that you definitely did in the early dating stage that you've kind of let go. But it's like, hey, it's a little thing, but it goes a long fucking way and it will

revive your relationship and keep it moving. You have to put the effort in. And you know what? I have to say this. Just God forbid anyone listening does this. I have had boyfriends in the past that do it. Let me be so clear. You know what is not foreplay? Saying to your partner, do you want to have sex? Should we have sex? Are we going to have sex tonight? Personally, to me, it's such a fucking turnoff. It makes me feel like an obligation or a box to check or like yeah let

me put that on my calendar what time 9 30 i'll schedule like what i hate i hate i hate i've had it in past relationships where they're like do you want to have sex how about instead you just like kind of come close to me and put your arm around me and like initiate it in a more natural fucking way rather than be like do you want to have sex oh no I did but now I don't maybe that's a personal thing I don't know ladies right into me but it really fucking it my lady boner goes way flapping down like it's just not good and you know what that just made me realize another reason that bothers me is because that's another example of you letting the spice in your relationship slip. If you were dating, you were in the dating phase, you're on the second date, third date. A motherfucker is not saying that to you. Alex,

do you want to have sex? They're not doing that. They're trying to impress you. Maybe they're going to slide closer to you on the chair. Maybe they'll put their arm around you. They're coming up with cute, seductive, hopefully not cheesy, cringy ways to like make a move on you. So it pisses me off when someone in a relationship does that because that's your partner taking away the allure and the excitement and the foreplay of mentally and emotionally and sexually stimulating yourselves to put in the fucking effort. Because let's be real. The only reason they feel comfortable saying that is because you guys sleep next to each other every night. If this was like a new hookup, he's putting in way more fucking work. So it's not fair to the relationship to do lazy shit like that because you wouldn't have

done that in the early stages of dating. So don't let yourself slip and do that kind of shit. Another bit of advice I have to spice up your relationship is, again, when you get into this comfortable phase, I think sometimes we just kind of turn our brains off and we're on autopilot because yet again, we're so comfortable with that person. And here's a tip I have. You need to work on using your brain and remind yourself and think about and like daydream about what initially attracted you to this person. I'm not saying you're not attracted to your partner anymore, but there are some times where you're no longer seeing in that

light of like, oh, I don't have them. I want them. For me, I always fucking think about the first time that I met my boyfriend and our first date. It's the fucking hottest date that I ever had in my life. There was so much sexual tension. And there are some days where I'm at work and I just start daydreaming about that first date because when I'm at work, I'm focusing on everything else but my relationship. Okay. And because again, we're comfortable maybe in the early stages, you're texting your new texting buddy, you're all nervous, you're all excited, it's the unknown. But now you're in a committed relationship. And you don't have to think about your partner until you get home. But that's also not great, right? You need to somehow find a way to keep thinking about them and get excited to go home. Because let me be so clear, if you were going on a date that night with a stranger, or again, it was like one of the early days of a date, you'd be all giddy excited. Even if you fucking didn't even want to go, you'd be amping yourself up. But then you go home to your partner and sometimes we act like, oh, what's up? How was

your day? No. So force yourself to remind yourself what initially attracted you to this person. Why I like to do that a lot and like hip check myself to just be like, hey, remember this? Hey, remember this? Not to say our current relationship isn't spicy, but why I do that is this. Every single human being, this is innately how we work. If I left my boyfriend tomorrow and I go find another guy, I'm going to feel something in the similar realm of, oh, the unknown of what's going on. Probably not as great as my boyfriend that first date. Nothing can top it. But I'll have that feeling. And then let's say we start dating. And then we're going to get to the point where we no I'll have that feeling. And then let's say we start dating. And then we're going to get to the point where we no longer are confusing each other. And it's very predictable. And now here we are. So it's like, if I leave, it's going to happen every time you

get into a relationship. And so I know I love my partner. If you love your partner so much, and you know, like, oh, this is the fucking one I'm obsessed with them. But how do we spice it up? Remind yourself of how attracted to them you were in those dating stages and try to find ways to reignite that feeling. It's the feelings that you're trying to reignite rather than the, oh, but is this just how life goes? No, because anytime you get into a committed relationship, this is going to happen. So instead of focusing on, is there something wrong with me and my partner? No, we're fucking human beings. I see this motherfucker go take a shit. Like, of course, it's not as like, like mysterious as it was in the beginning.

But something that means something to you and you love and you want that takes effort. That takes work. So don't allow the comfortability to make the one thing that means so much to you fall by the wayside. And it's like the thing you put the least amount of work into. Another piece of advice is communicating. And I know that's just like the overused word of all relationships, but it's also the most underrated thing that a lot of people don't fucking do. If you aren't openly communicating and acknowledging the quote unquote rut, I hate using that word because it's really not. This is just life and how it goes. If you're not acknowledging it, you can let things fester because maybe the other person is in their head like do we have a problem

do they still desire me I feel rejected what's going on and once again it's like no it's the most normal thing to slip into this unless you are finding ways to break out of the monotonous monotony monotony monotony monotony oh my am i monotonous the monotonous what the monot the monotonous out of the monot oh my fucking the monotonous routine you fell into jesus christ i know the conversation can be awkward don't let it be awkward i remember i guys i told you told you about the Santa Barbara trip. It was both of my boyfriend I being like, what the fuck are we doing? Do you feel like we need to like go spice shit up? Like we need to like get the fuck out of here. Let's go have a fun weekend. You can make it a fun, funny conversation instead of like, hey, do we have a problem? Don't make it so intense. But just have the conversation rather than like, eating your nails

in the corner being like do you think Jeremy still attracted me ask him hey I feel like we need to get our shit together let's go do something fun as a couple like what are we doing you got to find a way to push past that weird comfort zone with all of this shit because if you don't then you really are going to feel like roommates and I want to be so clear, I am not perfect. There has been so many times in my relationship that I need to wake up. And you know what, here's another thing. When is the last time I know I said this wasn't about sex. But I will say this, when is the last time you initiated sex? And I'm, I'm definitely not great at this. Sometimes, sometimes I've had a long day. I'm waiting for my boyfriend to be the one to do it. I definitely can get better at this. Imagine if it was roles

reverse, how that would make you feel. I know I'm calling some people out and I'm calling myself out right now. Guys, we need to do better. When is the last time you initiated sex? Because it's not about the act of sex. Again, it's showing your partner, I love you. I'm attracted to you. I desire you. I'm into you. And it's not always the other person having to because then you enjoy it. Once you're having that connecting moment, you're enjoying it with your partner, but it's making the fucking effort. It's being intentional. And now again, going away from sex, but I do think we should all think about that when's last time you initiated. I would say this, be mindful. Like, is there anything today that you could do? That's a nice effort. It doesn't take much just to show your partner that you're thinking of them and that you care about them because that will then translate into your sex life and into that desire and into that connection and reigniting it. It doesn't have to be in the bedroom, but you have to also take some accountability. If you're sitting there

and you're like, he never does this and he never does that and he never writes me a card and he never gets me flowers. When is the last time you did something for him? And I know it's harder for guys. Like, what are you going to get him? A new belt? Maybe. Write him a card. Send him a text. Send him a fucking nudie pic in your bathroom at work don't do that it's up to you it's up to you what you feel comfortable with in the relationship but why don't you make an effort and not wait for them and see how that plays all right daddy gang i love you so much that was hopefully a great episode for you to listen to let me know if you guys enjoy the solos and you know i'll be around town if you guys want another one i can always just dish it out because

i didn't have notes in front of me and I didn't really have anything prepared. And somehow I talked for about an hour. So, uh, love you all and stay strong and carry on. Okay. Love you guys. See you next Wednesday. Goodbye. Bye.