Call Her Daddy - Huda: Love Island Tell All

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

You’re welcome x2This episode includes discussion about domestic violence, suicidal ideation, and eating disorders. Please keep this in mind when deciding if, how, and when you’ll listen.

What is up, daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Huda, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you. How are you feeling? I'm feeling like really excited. I'm overwhelmed as fuck. Overwhelmed in like a good way and like in multiple ways. I'm not even sitting here and I'm like, I'm overwhelmed, I can't do it. It's like an overwhelming, I'm taking everything in all at once. I think anyone would.

Can you explain a little bit what have the past 48 hours since leaving the villa been like for you? I think really, right now I'm just trying to make sure that everything is good with the people that I'm really close right now I'm just trying to make sure that everything like is good with the people that I'm really close with and then I hold dear to my heart because I'm like my daughter, like my family, like those are the people that I've checked on this entire time.

Like I haven't texted anybody back at all. How many texts do you have? So many. So many girls, hundreds. I have an, like the only other person I've called is my best friend. Okay. That's it. How many girls? How many? Hundreds. I haven't, like the only other person I've called is my best friend. Okay.

That's it. Throughout the season, you were one of, if not without a doubt, the most polarizing person on the show. So I've been told. People either absolutely adore, love you, or there are people that like, it actually feels like hate you

and do not fuck with you at all. Why do you think that this is the case? I think that honestly, I think perception's everything. And I feel like not all the time things are shown in the way that they are perceived on TV. And I mean, I know who I am as a person. I think that's what really matters. I feel like if people are hating on me, okay, fuck you like that

like I don't give a fuck like why does it matter as long as the people that I love are close to me and like that care about me and they you know see me for who I actually am like that's truly what matters to me and I'm very very very blessed to have so many people that do love me and support me because I feel like the good outweighs the bad in all honesty and Yeah, I just I try to pay the hate like no mind. To be honest, like you don't know me. You don't know me at all. I was gonna ask you, like now that you have had your phone back and have gotten maybe like a brief second

in between like no sleep, I was gonna say no sleep club, another club, you haven't gone to a club. Girl, I haven't, I'm not, I'm not outside.'t gone to a club. I haven't, I'm not outside. You're sitting. Girl, I'm sat, I'm sat. You're like this with your sunglasses, the meme of you. No, dad, I'm just sitting.

No, you're not moving. You're not moving. I was gonna ask, now that you've gotten to maybe see a couple of your mentions, what comments have been negatively the most shocking to you? Oh, fuck, I really don't pay that shit online. Um. One, the craziest thing I've heard is that people called CPS on me. I was like, are you so serious right now?

First of all, my daughter's dad was fully aware of what I was doing. He was fully OK with it. He signed consent. Like we're like we had that conversation. We're fine. Me going on a show does not mean me a bad person. You know how many mothers are, you know, doing tours around the world who are doing all these things and they can't see their kids. It's like it doesn't make you a bad mom to do something

for yourself in that way at all. Yep. Thank you. And I'm just like, I don't understand it because it's just like, you guys just have nothing better to do at this point. And, you know, I know that I'm a good mom. I'm with my daughter 24 seven.

Me and her dad are, me and her dad are, me and her dad, we split custody. So like I have her Monday, Sunday through Fridays. And then he has her the days that I don't have her. And so I have her majority of the days that I don't have her. And so I have her majority of the time. I'm with her 24 seven. Like I do the pickups, the drops off at school.

I pack her lunches. You know, I'm there to give her a pep talk of the kids being mean to her in class. Like I'm there for her through and through. She tells me about the boys she likes. Like we do the hee hee ha haing. Like we put perfume on in the mornings together. We brush our teeth in the same sink,

even though I have a double sink. She presses it in my sink with me every morning. I do her hair every morning. We do outfits together in the morning, like all that stuff. Anytime I put a dress on, she's like, you look so beautiful, mommy. Like she's my hype woman. Someone says something mean to me.

She's like, don't talk to my mom like that. Mind you, she's forward. Dude, I mean, I have questions like later on that I wanna talk to you about, cause that was like a point people were talking About it's like you and your family and all of it But like I can imagine coming out of the villa and just as a human being but most importantly as a mother Understandably immediately your gut reaction is to address that because like that's your blood. That's your daughter. Yeah anything

Yeah, my the only thing I was worried about as soon as I walked out of that villa was my daughter Yeah, that is the main thing I wanted to address. I could care less about hatred from people I care more about her safety and if she's okay Okay. There has been so much conversation about your character, how you treated other islanders, whether or not your behavior was toxic. And we are going to get into all of it tonight. But I think in order to have an actual productive conversation, I want to get to know you a little bit better

before we get to your Love Island days. So let's go back. I wanna talk to you about your childhood. What was it like in your house growing up? I wanna talk to you about your childhood. What was it like in your house growing up? So growing up, so my parents, they immigrated to America and got their citizenship. And my dad, he had his own business

and my mother, she was a teacher. And we weren't fortunate as kids. My mother and father had five kids. And they immigrated here. No family, nothing. So I wasn't raised with money. We played with sticks outside. We didn't have phones, so we were like 16, 17.

You know, I'm not a, what is it, privileged child. I was never that. And growing up, my dad was extremely abusive. He was very abusive towards my mother, towards me and my siblings. Like a vivid memory I have as a kid is like, I don't even know how old I was, but I remember hearing my dad beating the shit

out of my mom in the room, and I remember finally, I think someone got the door open and I just remember seeing my mom's face. Her glasses were broken and then I just see him snap her head back and slam the door. That's, I'm gonna cry. That's literally, that was my childhood. Can I have a tissue? There's tissue, let me get you.

Damn, we just started, Alex. Hold on, I'm mistaken. Damn, we just started, Alex. Hold on, I was thinking. You're good. I'm definitely about to start my period. Like there's no fucking way I'm not. I'm on mine, so we'll just fucking ride together. Alex, you're making me think with you. Should I stop this one?

Yeah, yeah, just put it there. So, but yeah, so I grew up in an extremely abusive household. Not needless to say, like I did have a fun childhood, though. I think me and my siblings were extremely close in the midst of the chaos. Like we were very, very close. My sister, she would get us away from all that. She would like take us on little we call the dinosaur trail. And it was like this dirt road because they were doing construction.

Sometimes you would see like deer tracks and whatnot. And like sometimes she would do things to make it look cooler to make us think they're dinosaurs and stuff like that's like the things we would have fun with. We'd go in the creek and we'd play in the creek. We would do all these things as kids. We and of the five kids where were you in the lineup? I'm the youngest. I even in like writing this interview like I had no fucking idea about anything about you because there's not anything really on the internet about your life. They didn't put it on the show either?

No, you didn't talk about any of this on the show. Oh, that's crazy. When you're talking about your dynamic with your parents and specifically your father being abusive, being the youngest, because I can imagine you're talking about your sister kind of like being the one that's getting you guys out of the house, but how do you think being the youngest, because I can imagine you're talking about your sister kind of like being the one that's getting you guys out of the house,

but how do you think being the youngest in an abusive household impacted your personal development? I think I was a lot more persuasive being a lot younger. So I was a lot more persuasive in terms of like giving me sweets and like buying me things and doing things towards me and hurting me and then saying, oh, here's this,

or doing things and saying, you know what, I'll go take you here if you know, whatever. And that happened to me a lot as a child as well. And then at one point, one of my parents separated, I was in the fourth grade, I believe, and my mom, I remember when my dad was at work, we packed up everything and we left. And my mom, she got it dad was at work. We packed up everything and we left and My mom she got it. We lived in like this two bed one bath apartment

That was like it's like $600 rent. I'm pretty sure No washer and dryer. We would go to the laundromat like My me and all my sisters were in a room. My brother was in his own room My mom slept on the couch. It wasn't even a couch It was a when he knows it's out there like futon things. Yeah, I'd really like to talk things Yeah, and they have like the the wooden Railing things on them. Yeah, like it's like just a cushion. That's what my mom would sleep on every single night Because she didn't want to take a bedroom. What was the breaking point for her to get you guys out?

I I'm not 100% sure exactly What her breaking point for her to get you guys out? I'm not 100% sure exactly what her breaking point was. I think maybe it possibly could be her support system on the people outside that saw this happening. Do you have a relationship with your father? Do you speak to him? I haven't talked to my dad in eight years. Yeah, I started talking to him when I was 16. There's a really valid reason as to why I'm not speaking to him. My dad was, there was a lot of times where I was

alone with my dad. And there's things that like my family doesn't believe me about. Tissue. Damn, girl, you got me crying on the show. I know that freaking period is coming and it's on its way to us very soon. Period or not, Huda, this is some- Girl, trust me, when I was with the psychologist, I talked to her about all these things and I was just crying. Because it's like you relive it when you talk about it. Ooh, hold on. Let me take your time.

So anyway, there's a lot of things that happen. I don't wanna go too much into detail. But I kept a lot of things to myself. And then there was a point where I got really scared. And I remember calling my mom and just telling her, like, please pick me up, like, please pick me up. And she was like, what's wrong? Like, I can't, I have to get you tomorrow.

Like she was working like three or four jobs. This woman would not sleep. She would sleep like three, four hours. And we would never really see her as much because she was working all the time. We would eat frozen food and Wendy's. And she was like, I can't, I was like, I was crying. I was like, please pick me up.

I would lock myself in the bathroom. My dad went in his office and was like working and I like tiptoed out when she was there and I like grabbed my things and I like tiptoed past his office because the floor would creak sometimes. So I was so scared. And so I tiptoed out and I like closed the door really quietly and I just told her,

I was like, please go, please go, please go. Like I was like, please get out, like get me out of here. And to this day, like I don't think anyone in my family believes anything that I say about that. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it's hard to believe. Yeah.

But I just accepted that I know what was going on. And I had listened to podcasts about certain things leading up to a lot with my dad, and it made me realize, I don't wanna say grooming, but there's a lot of things that were happening. I don't know, my dad hasn't remarried or nothing. I have no idea the reasonings behind it.

So I never really had a father figure growing up in that way at all. What was school like for you during all of this? I've always, I always got bullied in school. I think I always was just like unapologetically myself and that didn't resonate with a lot of people. Seems like a theme in your life, Huda, that we're gonna get to. Trust me, there was a lot of things

that triggered me in that villa. I will be completely honest with you. And things that I caught and was clocking and was told that I was being crazy. But I don't know if anything was done on purpose to make me act out in a way. But yeah, what was I saying? Oh, I got bullied in school.

When I was in middle school, there was a point where I wanted to take my own life. I did not want to live anymore. Girls I remember I was friends with these girls and then like I think it was like two of them I was friends with, two or three of them. And one of them was a new girl. And mind you, I was friends with the other girls. We were all fine. And then a new girl comes and she's like, does modeling.

And she does all of these things. And like, you know, I'm just this girl who loves to sing. And she knew I was like, my dream, I used to watch an America's Next Top Model growing up. Like I wanted to model so bad growing up. And you know, I realized I was too short. Like I was like, this is not gonna happen for me. But I was always a dream of mine and she knew that.

And she would kind of rub it in my face and be like, oh, you're not even pretty enough to do that. You're not skinny enough. I stopped eating for days at a time. I remember my math teacher, she would literally be like, how do you need to eat? Like, you need to eat something. Like, I would never eat anything.

I was bulimic. I would literally chew food and then spit it into a trash can just to taste it because I thought I wasn't skinny enough. And did anyone in your life, like your mom or your older sister, did anyone know you were going through this? I didn't say anything. And these girls would push me into lockers, throw food on me.

Specifically that one girl, she would do that and other girls would just hee hee ha ha. Kids would harass me in school. They would. I remember this one kid who was on the football team. He would grab my ass. He would pin me against the wall in middle school. People would make racial comments about me. Call me a terrorist.

This stuff happened to me my childhood. And leading into high school, I had always this this stuff happened to me my childhood and Leading into like high school like I had always felt like I got left out of things Throughout school like in high school. Um, I Remember people tried it to start bullying me again. I think at that point, you know before that I had begged God I was like, please please please like please please get rid of these girls for me Please like make this easier for me. Like give me a fresh start please to both the girls they moved away and I had a chance at a fresh start and you know, everyone's school like kind of knew what people were doing

I mean at least as far as I knew and Remember someone tried to make a terrorist comment towards me in high school and I shut that shit down immediately I was like, I'm gonna turn a new leaf and just nip it in the bud. And I did. I nipped it in the bud and no one said anything about it again. And I remember I was friends with these group of girls in school and I had always felt left out and things because my mom was really strict on me. Like she wouldn't let me go to sleep over. She wouldn't let me go out like she didn't want me to go like

the thing we have to think like T-dance. She wanted to do any of those things. I't even want me to go to like, the thing we have this thing called like T-dance. She didn't want me to do any of those things. I had to beg her to go to prom. When I felt left out in things with those friend groups, because they would be like, oh, she can't even go anyway. But it's like, just ask me if I can. Just give me a bone to feel like. Let me feel a little bit included.

I didn't have a phone either. And then I finally got a phone. They made me get Instagram. They're like, you need me to get Instagram. you need to make an instagram. You make instagram like okay so I started doing instagram stuff and like I started Getting followers for like my singing videos and things like that. It was like it was a fun moment for me. But in turn People in school were like she's so full of herself. She's so cocky. Like who does she think she is? and

You know with that friend group that always left me out there I think there was one point where I was sitting with them at the lunch table when I was just like the girls were laughing about something and I really didn't find it funny um I have a unique sense of humor I feel like like and sometimes people don't understand it but like there's something that I really don't find funny and you know I'm sitting there and these girls are like hee-hee howling like laughing and I'm just saying they're just like the straight face just kind of like wondering like how that is even funny.

And they looked at me and they're just like, Huda, like, why are you not laughing? Like, what is it? And I was like, honestly, I don't think any of you guys are really funny. And I really don't want to be friends with you guys. And I got up and I just walked away. And since then, I would go into this dressing room thing

that had little mirrors around it. I would practice dance. I used to be a dance captain thing that had little mirrors around it. I would practice dance I used to be a dance captain. I practice hip-hop in there. Um Was I the number one person in the world? No, but I was the learning and I would sing in there. I did like I would practice like my acapella stuff in there I would practice I was a theater kid. I did a lot of musical theater Like I practice all these things in there by myself free period, I'm going to that room and I'm practicing. That's all I would do.

Just even like hearing you explain, I feel like at such a young age, you were getting it from every fucking angle and there was nowhere to go, but rely on yourself. Like you talking about being in your household, looking at your mom, being physically abused, then it turning to you being alone with your father in this moment where you're like scared for your life

and you're trying to flee a situation that should be the only, the one place you do feel safe. Then you go to school where maybe it's like, let's get some reprieve. Maybe the kids at school can make me forget about my home life. And then you're getting it from your school life and your peers.

And it's like, I can't help but think like, what that young version of you, how do you not put up this hard wall? How do you not become this person that like you just said, the minute they made a joke about you and they came at you and they tried to make a racial comment to make you feel less than, one day you decide to be like, no, fuck that.

But how many days prior were you crying in the bathroom, sitting alone, crying about it? It's so sad to think about you developmentally, how you had to turn from this soft loving girl to then you needed to create this hard exterior literally just to survive. What do you wish you could go back and tell yourself? Sitting here right now with all this success

in the darkest moments of your life where you mentioned like, it got to the point where you literally didn't wanna be here anymore. Fuck him. Fuck him. Like, who gives a fuck? Be yourself, do what you wanna do in life. And this is what I tell my daughter outside,

I'm like, do what you wanna do, stop caring about what other people think. Cause there's times where kids will be mean to her and like, and I'm just like, honey, you're so smart and you're beautiful and you're fun, you're funny. Anyone would hate on somebody like that. We all know that you are a mommy, mamacita. Mama?

Mama? Mamacita. Of a human child. When you saw that where you like. I died. How is this the most viral thing? I died. I was like, this is the most viral thing I said is that I'm a mommy.

Like in that in the notes. Funny me and Nick like barely remember that conversation. I just remember going into it. I remember I was like me and Nick were very like goofy people and we don't take shit seriously in conversations when we talk. And you know, like there's times where we try to be serious but always ends up on a funny note. And in that conversation, I remember I wanted to bring it

up to him, but because of our nature and like the way we are, I was like, I can't sit here and be serious towards him. Right, like Nick, I have a big thing to tell you. I'm so sorry, but like this is so serious and- Or you're gonna fuck around. I am a mother and I really want you to understand. Like I didn't want to do that and be like, guess what? Like, cause that's how we are.

Me and him were goofy as shit. But the point I was bringing that up for is you are a mother. You have a daughter, a gorgeous daughter. Thank you. How did you meet her dad? Tinder. Stop. Oh my God, you need to do like your meet her dad? Tinder. Stop. Oh my God, you need to do like your first brand deals

with Tinder. Tinder, listen, it may not always work out, but you might have a fun time. Like literally. So we- Dead, dead. So we met on there. I remember I was like 18.

Okay. And I think this is the first time I ever moved out of my mother's house Because I was just sick of being controlled at that time, you know, everyone's rebellious. You're gonna control your whole life You're told you can't go on sleepovers. You can't do xyz one, two, three. It's like finally. I'm 18 I'm legally I have freedom. I can do whatever I want to do and I moved out Um, I was living with these two other girls and I decided I was like, okay, I'm gonna Talk to whoever I want to talk to I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna do this.

I had my fun when I was 18. And I think that's why I'm not really big on going out now. You're like, I did it. I did the thing. That was enough. You know the thing? Yeah, you did that. Okay, Wie, how would you describe your early stages

of that relationship with him? We were very lovey, we got very lovey very fast. Very lovey dovey, like I really liked him a lot. And for me, I was something I'm like, you can always tell when I really like somebody and when I really don't. You can always tell, it's like zero to 100, like you can 100, I can't lie.

I cannot lie. I know you told us you're sitting there with the. Like you can 100. I can't lie. I cannot lie. I know you told us you're sitting there with the girls and you're like, you're not funny. No, I can't sit here and act like I like you when I don't. I can't be fake. Like if I sit here, I'm just like, oh my God, like, I love you. You're like, fuck off. I'm like, can you just leave me the fuck alone, please?

Like, get away from me. You really, really liked him. I. So you really, really liked him. I did. I really, really liked him off the jump. We were very, very close, very fast. But in that, he did cheat on me. And that doesn't make him a bad person. He just made bad decisions.

OK, wait. Before you got pregnant, did you guys have conversations about what you wanted your future to look like together? We obviously wanted to to move in together the goal was marriage like that was always a thing like we were very locked in with each other at that time um we would always I mean a lot of the videos got out like we made so many cute videos together we'd go to the beach a million times together. Can you take me to the moment when you found out that you were pregnant?

Bitch. Girl. I remember this was after he cheated on me when I was in Puerto Rico. I was in Puerto Rico with my sister for the first time ever. First time ever on vacation with her. You know, first major vacation. I was really excited. It was a good time until it wasn't. And then I remember, you know, I had his location

and at this time, hell yeah, when someone's cheating on you multiple times, you're gonna get a little toxic and go a little crazy. And I'm checking that man's location, like nobody's business on this vacation because he cheated on me so many times. But I was naive, I was naive at that time. I took him back a million fucking times.

Okay, I do want to emphasize you were 18 at 18. Exactly, this is like what, like six years ago? I know, I know, but now we like we do got to get better But I agree anymore. Okay. Okay. I don't even care like no no now girl guys. I'm giving me the location I forget that I have it okay, perfect. Wait. I'm too tired. I'm tired grandpa I don't want to do that shit man. Okay, so you're 18 you're getting toxic cuz he's cheated a couple times and you're like I'm on to you motherfucker. I'm in Puerto Rico. What happens girl? So I'm looking I'm looking through it, you know, we Puerto Rico, what happens? Girl, so I'm looking through,

seeing where this man is going, right? And I remember there was one night particularly, he was not answering the phone. And I was just like, okay, this man is up to something. I was like, he has to be cheating on me, because that was the only logical answer. And to my surprise, he was standing on me. So I was like, okay, cool.

Great. So I remember I was just going off on him because he was not answering his phone. He was at this random house. And we had a talk because he wouldn't let me go to clubs or anything. And I wasn't allowed to go to parties. I had lost a lot of my friends at the time

because every time I would hang out with him, he would blow up my phone. And mind you, I feel like I blew up his phone too like it's not like it was just him you know I'm saying like it's I'm not I was doing shit too there was a cycle that was being created yeah it was a very toxic relationship and um basically he was at this house I'm calling he's not answering then I see his car leaving early in the morning like just leaving that house he's calling me like I just got a ticket like I'm late to work I just got a ticket I just got a ticket I'm calling he's my answering then I see his car leaving early in the morning like just leaving that house He's calling me like I just got a ticket like I'm late to work. I just got a ticket

I just got a ticket. I'm just like hmm. Where were you? I was home. I was home This is when he was in the barracks in the military And see you told me he was in the barracks brother. Did you forget? I had your location Like I've been tracking your house like wait over a quarter like it's really I've been tracking your ass like my Uber order literally. I'm like, best girl, I'm not like a hawk. Like I'm looking at your ass going like you're zooming. You're going 71 miles per hour. It's back down to 60.

Like I'm looking at the whole shebang. Like I know what route you took. Literally, I know the way you go home from work. Like I saw the whole thing. But now I'm just kidding. But like I I was just like, all right. You definitely weren't home, I'm not crazy. I'm texting his friend.

His friend I guess told me, he said that he was, he slept at his place, like his friend's place in like the barracks room. And then I asked him where he slept last night. He slept, he slept in his own room. So the math wasn't mathin'. You're like, one of you is fuckin' lying, you idiot. In the middle of this conversation, I get a DM.

Hey, girly. I was like, be so for real. My intuition never lies. I'm like, oh, my God. I looked at that shit. I was like, wow, I got pictures of them in bed together. No. Yeah, I was like, damn, that's crazy.

Not the hey, girly. Yeah. And I was just like, OK, cool. Yeah. Then that whole thing happened, then it was like, so a lot of things that convinced me to take him back, which I did. And I was naive.

I get it, I get it. Anyone that's judging didn't have one of those first true, so madly in love toxic relationships. Everyone has one. I had one and it was horrible and it fucks you up. But it's intoxicating because when you're in love for the first time, you don't really understand anything else. I never had a good example growing up.

I never had anyone to guide me in that way at all. I thought when I became 18, and I mind you, I didn't have my first kiss until after high school. I didn't have sex until after high school like I Thought I thought men I thought it was like like a fairy tale. I thought it was like Disney Swear to God. I'm watching all these things. I'm watching all these Disney movies and I'm just like, oh my god Like it's gonna be like that and he's gonna like he's gonna look at my costume and be like hey like I'm thinking It's like gonna be some cute lovey shit

bitch when I, girl, when I lost my virginity and that man was sleeping with one of the girls who bullied me in school, I was like, be so for real. This shit is not what I thought it was. You're like, this is a horror movie. A dead ass. Dead ass. Why is this shit?

Literally. Dude, you had a rude awakening coming. Literally, I know I haven't gone on the pregnant topic yet. But, sorry. Okay, yeah, we're getting there. We're getting there. Sorry, I have ADHD. I won't let you forget. Thanks, queen.

How the fuck did you find out you're pregnant? Okay, so after that happened, I remember we were all hanging out, like having a little party, whatever. I remember I was going up the stairs, and I remember me and his friends crossed paths. I remember I was lit as shit this time. And I was just like, I looked at his friend, I was like, I think I'm pregnant. And he looked at me time and I was just like I looked at his friend. I was like I think I'm pregnant.

And he just he looked at me and he was just like no and I was like yeah. He's like no. And then I remember I had eaten Taco Bell and I threw that shit up everywhere. And then this is also when I found out I was allergic to Tylenol. So I took a Tylenol and I found I was allergic to that. So that was another thing. I had a fever after that. Not a good time. You know, morning sickness plus a fever. Not great. So anyway, after that, we were going home and I was like, OK, we need to buy a Plan B.

I'm like, OK, cool. Let's go buy Plan B. We go to the we go to Walmart. OK, we go to Wally World. And I was like, all right, let's go buy Plan B. We're going to think I'm looking at the pregnancy test. I'm like, do you think we should buy a pregnancy test? He's just like, why? I was like, I don't know. Like, I just feel like we should buy one.

And he was just like, OK, but why? I was like, OK, well, you know, we're not really rich right now. I was like, the plan B is more expensive than the pregnancy test. Imagine if I'm pregnant, we can just return the plan B. So that was my logic. I was like, all right. And we go I go in the Walmart bathroom. And I pee on the stick.

I put it back in the box and I walk out and he's just like, what did it say? I'm like, I don't know yet. It's so developing. He's like, OK, we walk to the car. We get in the car. We sit down. He's like, are you my open air? I was like, yeah. Open that shit pregnant. I said, oh, we started crying. We started crying. We was in shock., we sit down, he's like, are you gonna open it? I was like, yeah. Open that shit, pregnant. I said, oh, we started crying. We started crying.

We was in shock, I was in shock, I was crying. I was like, what do I do? I'm talking to my best friend, I'm like, girl, what do I do? And she's like, what I like, you know, do whatever you wanna do, whatever you feel is right, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, okay, cool.

And long story short, we kept breaking up and getting back together. He deployed, we kept fighting the entire time. You know, he still was talking to the girls like it was like a whole thing. And yeah, that was the story of how I found out I was pregnant. How did your family react? Mm hmm. So I actually kept it from my mom for like three or four months. OK. Heading from everybody for three or four months.

I didn't know how to do this at all. I didn't even know I was supposed to go to the doctors. I didn't know anything. I had no one taught me anything so I didn't know what to do and I just kept her growing inside of me. I didn't go to an OBGYN. I didn't go to anything. I just was pregnant and no one got, I didn't get checked at all nothing and I remember I think like three or four months in I was getting a little bit bigger we've got the grocery store me and my mom and like she would be craving things and she kind of looks and she's like moms now so I remember there was

one time I like she was I was in my room and this is back when I moved back in with her and I was in my room and she came to like give me a hug she said something and like I hugged her I'm a a big hugger. She came and gave me a hug and then she goes, you're getting chunky like chubby like like you're getting a little chubby. I'm just like, oh shit. Like I have to tell her. And I'm sitting in my room just like constantly. I'm like, fuck, like what do I do? So I'm like, mom, she's cooking. I was like, mom, I was like, I have something to tell you. I was like, what do I do, what do I do? So I told her, I'm like, mom, she's cooking. I was like, mom, I have something to tell you. I was like, can you please come to the room?

And she's like, she's like, she walks in my room and then she sits down on the bed and I'm like, mom. I was like, I did something bad. And my mom is extremely religious. She's Muslim, so she's extremely religious. I was like, I did something bad. And she's just like, did you hurt somebody and she's just like did you hurt somebody said no Did you do drugs? No

Did you she's like just was listening things like did you do this like no and she goes are you pregnant and I just start crying and She sat there and she looks me she goes don't sin twice And that's when I knew I was gonna keep my daughter and I felt sinned twice. And that's when I knew I was gonna keep my daughter. Yeah, that's the story of how I told my mom. Wow. Okay, how did you decide to end that relationship

on, off again, toxic, while you're pregnant and you have your daughter? When did you end it and how did you end it with him? So we were together, we moved in together after having her. And then I think like last year, I'm not pretty sure how exactly, how long it was after we moved in together. But I remember we,

there was a lot of things that bothered me in the relationships. Like when my daughter was an infant, like first born, you know, I was breastfeeding at the time. And yeah, I was a stay at home mother, but I was with her 24-7, never sleeping. And if I got up, she would cry and cry. And it's to the point where when your kid has colic,

you just don't wanna hear crying anymore. Like, it's like you don't want her to cry, so you will sit there and not eat so she doesn't cry. You will sit there and not shower for days so she doesn't cry. Your daughter had colic? Mm-hmm. And can you just really make sure everyone understands

what that is, just in case they don't know? So it's like when kids, like, they cry for no really apparent reason. Like, you can do anything and they will not stop crying. And you know, some mothers go crazy with it. Like, I had to keep my cool the whole time. I would just cry because I couldn't do anything. And like one time my mom, she was just like, just sit her in the room,

walk out for five minutes. She can cry. Just come back and just like collect yourself a little bit. And like when she would cry in the middle of the night, like I understand he was in the military and he worked a lot. But it's like, you know, this is a team effort. And, you know, being a mom is a full-time job. Like you're with her 24 seven. And like in the middle of the night,

we were supposed to do shifts. Like if, if like I had to change your diaper, then it was his turn, that was my turn. Sometimes he would do it, but a lot of the time it would be like, like, hey, like I would wake up to her crying. I'm like, hey, can you, can you come on? Like, can you help me?

Can you help me? And he was just like, you do it, you do it. And so I would get up to her crying. I'm like, hey, can you can you come on? Like, can you help me? Can you help me? And he was just like, you do it, you do it. And so I would get up and go do it. And, you know, in times like when he would come home, it was like, oh, let me shower first and I'll make you something to eat. Oh, can I play this video game real quick and then I can make you something to eat? And or like I'll be like, can you take her so I can do this? Hold on, let me shower.

And mind you, he was a great dad still. He still did good things. Like, he still spent time with still. He still did good things. He still spent time with her. He still was fun with her and stuff like that. But I think a lot of the hardships were on me. And that's also why on the show, the baby thing that triggered the fuck out of me. Let's get to that,

because we're gonna hit Love Island. I wanna go through that. So you ended up just realizing this person, it just wasn't gonna work romantically. It wasn't gonna work romantically. It wasn't gonna work romantically. There was a point where, you know, he wasn't very good with his finances. And I was just kind of like realizing

what I really wanted in a man, because I was getting older, I was getting less naive. But yeah, so then during that time, like he wasn't really good with his finances and we were always late on bills, late on everything. I would do Instacart with my daughter, which is dangerous. I would do Instacart with her and bring her with me to do that because we were so broke.

And I would give him all the money that I would make from that. And we were still late on rent. And I remember there was a time where he was leaving for I think training or deployment or something. And we had like 30 days, less than 30 days actually, to move out and we had to get it, find a new place. I have never found a place before.

I had never done anything like that before. Nothing was packed. Everything was, I had to do everything. And I pack everything. I'm getting, I'm trying to get like some of his friends to help me. Like I hired people to help me move. Like I was doing everything by myself.

I was losing my mind trying to find a place like losing my mind and I Finally found one like literally like two or three days before I had to move out and I moved everything in I put his stuff in the storage room. I left it there I told him I said listen when you get back like you have two weeks and that's it cuz I'm what kind of man leaves you with all of that? A boy. So I wanted better for myself. I knew my potential as a woman. I knew my potential in life.

And I knew what I wanted to do with my life and what I wanted in life. And I wasn't gonna settle. Nor should you ever. But I get, I can only imagine like the complexity of having a child, but it seems like in a beautiful way, you finally hit that point where you just started to choose yourself.

And it was probably the best decision you could have made, but it's so fucking hard to leave. It was hard to leave. I remember I would cry every day, every single day. It's easier to stay sometimes. I would cry every day by myself. He wouldn't know I was crying every day but I would cry every day and I would say I'd like I hate my life. I don't want this. Like I don't want to be with him. Like I was losing my mind. I was trying to figure

out how I could leave and what I could do to leave. I didn't know what to do. Like we weren't even kissing anymore And and when this ended around how old were you? 22 21 21 21. Okay. So now you're 24, right? Almost 21. I think okay. So now you're 24 And you have all of this going on in your life and then fast forward this little show comes along called Love Island and you decide to go on reality TV. Tell me how the fuck that came to me. Because I'm literally like, holy shit, dude.

Like just, you just pause for a minute. Hearing the beginning half of your fucking life, dude, and then to where you're sitting right now, I know we have a lot of shit to go through. I know we have so much to talk about of the way the internet feels about how you act and all these things, but this is the shit of why I love doing my job because it's like, we know none of this.

We've known none of this. We didn't know about your childhood. And I understand Love Island's not the platform to be talking about this kind of shit, but when we're judging so intensely someone on reality TV, there's 19 million more chapters that we weren't privy to. And so I appreciate you even opening up a little bit today because I know there's so much more to these stories

and we're getting a preview, but thank you for sharing. Because it does give a lot of insight into now what we are about to talk about. Thank you for asking. Of it does give a lot of insight into now what we are about to talk about. Thank you for asking. Of course. Okay, Love Island. How, how did this come to be? So I always wanted to do the show.

I was always a dream of mine to do the show. I just never knew if I was going to. I remember like when I would go, sometimes I would go on like TikTok live with like, at the time, because I was doing social, like gym content a lot of times. So I would go on I would go on like TikTok live with like at the time because I was doing social like gym content a lot of times I would go on you know live sometimes just talk about gym stuff and like everyone kept saying like cuz I sometimes I would say stories like about my dating life because it's fun

like to talk about it um and I would tell me about my dating life but everyone's like you should go on my violin I could so see you on my violin you should do love island everyone's pushing me but like you should do a violin I was like okay I'm at this guy that That's how it all starts. I met this guy and he knew that I wanted to do a violin and it ended up being just like a really toxic thing where it was like he was not at all who I thought he was. That ended. He ended up trying to like rub in my face so they reach out to him and because he knew

I wanted to do it. And I was like, huh he Might do it Why the fuck can't I do it because he told me it was dumb So I was like, why the fuck can't I do it? You're rubbing it in my face. I said fuck it. I'll apply I apply traditionally I apply traditionally and I said, you know what I'm gonna do it and I did and then I think like a month later or something I had gone reach out to. Not even sorry.

I got reached out to shortly after that, but about a month later, I had my interview. Did that months later, another interview. Then I think it was like the final point where I met the producers. Since then, every week, like multiple interviews a week, multiple things I had to do. Then I remember I flew to Fiji and I manifested this shit, bitch. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I kept telling myself that. I was like, I'm going to be an OG. And I remember I came to Fiji. They flew me out.

And I was like, I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG.

I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I'm going gonna be an OG. I'm going to be an OG. I kept telling myself that. I was like, I'm going to be an OG.

And I remember I came to Fiji, they flew me out. And I had done all the interviews and whatnot and all the filming prep work and whatever. And they're like, this doesn't guarantee you're on the show still. I'm like, okay, I'm like, I have anxiety. I'm just like, oh, I'd like to know things before they happen.

And I'm sitting there and then I get told, we want you, and the first lining, like the first lineup. I was just like, my jaw on the floor, like on the fucking floor, bitch, that shit was catching, the flies were flying in the hole. And I was like, holy shit, my manifestations are coming true. And I get on the show, doing the whole thing,

I think I had a lot of luck on that show in terms of how long I stayed. And I think that whole show is really luck. A lot of it is luck. America's voting, luck. Like it's luck. How they perceive you, luck. Okay.

Well we're gonna go back to the fucking beginning. Let's go. Because I didn't watch all these episodes for nothing, bitch. Come on, you didn't live it for nothing. Let's do it, boom, chicken boom. Okay, day one, couple up with Jeremiah. Yeah.

What was your first impression of this man? So, okay, so when we first saw each other, I remember I thought everyone was really attractive. When he came in, he like, I could just, you know when you can just tell when a guy really likes you the way they look at you Yes, I remember I was like I went to go hug him and like I tripped backwards and he like pulled me in and I Like stuck with me and I was like, hmm. It's like a movie. I was like love it Um, you know my childhood dreams are coming true. I

remember in that point and then you know, we you know kissing the heart thing and You know, he kissed the girl on the cheek, and I was like, hmm. Why would a man not do that for me? Do you know what I'm saying? I'm like, okay, period. We love that. Everyone's like, do you not think there's a red flag?

I'm like, damn, is that a red flag? I'm like, fuck, am I tripping here? Because I'm so used to getting love bombed. At that point when everyone's pointing out to me, they're like, do you not think that's a red flag? And I'm sitting there in beach time, I'm just like, am I being love bombed? Is this not real? I'm like, do you not think that's the red flag? And I'm sitting there and beach on it, I'm just like, am I being love bombed? Like, is this not real?

I'm like, is this, like, am I tripping? How would you describe your guy's dynamic in the first 24 hours, that first 24 hours off the rip? Me and Jeremiah? Yes. Oh, lovey-dovey as fuck. Like, he was so into me, I was so into him. Like, even on chill days, like,

we would always like blow kisses from across the room. Like we would look at each other and be like, and like we would get y'all to be like, stop interacting with each other. Like we would do all those little hearts to each other, like blow kisses. Like we would sneak in the hallway to kiss each other and like we would get in trouble.

Like we would do those things all the time. Like we would kiss each other, all of each other's faces and whatnot. It was very physical. So you intentionally decided that you wanted to wait to tell Jeremiah about your daughter. Why was waiting important to you? So I felt like in the dating world, in the real world,

I think that people don't really see me as a person and like get to know me fully. I think immediately it's like mom, and it was like, oh, she's a mom, she's a mom, she's a mom. I'm more than just a mom. Like I'm Huda. Do you know what I'm saying? Like there's more to me than just that. And I was taking this opportunity as a way for people

to get to know me first, to decide if they liked me, and then go from there. There's people that have mom fetishes and shit all the time. Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like I'm trying to let them get to know me first. And I said this on the show. I don't know if it was ever shown. I haven't watched it back.

But like, I said all of these things. One of the things that people online have kind of accused you of being slightly manipulative by hiding that part of your life from Jeremiah. Did you feel like you were leading him on and kind of setting up to him up to fail by keeping this from him? Not necessarily. Whenever we would have conversations and stuff, and I felt like he was liking me more and more and more as a person, I was like, okay,

I can tell he really likes me, so I think this is the right time to tell him. I was terrified to tell him. Why? Because I really liked him. I was so scared. Like, I was like, what is he gonna do? Like, I hope he reacts well.

You know, I didn't want him to freak out to be continued. But like, you know, I was just tea. But yes, I was just like, OK, I want to be the right time to tell him. And you know, I did bring it to his attention and we talked about it. I fucking stuttered a lot of the time, I think, because I was so nervous. Like, I was so scared to tell him. And yeah, I told him, he told me, he was like, honestly, I find him more attractive than your mom,

da da da da. Did I fully believe him? No. But I told him, I made sure to mention him, I was like, listen, if I, like I'm telling you this, but you do not have to stay with me. I made it very clear, I was like, you do not have to be with me. It is okay for you not to not want to be with me

Um, like I just wanted to bring this our attention like if you want to go explore like by all means just let me know because I really like you and You know clearly like we both really like each other But if this is a deal breaker for you, just let me know he's like reassuring me like no like I just more attractive to me like your mom like well, blah I'm like okay cool and you know I'm letting him know like you can leave if you want to and there's times where I brought that up to him when I could tell he was kind of switching his the way he would treat me and after I told him and he would just he would get different to be like I can make my own decisions I know what I want, like I can do that. A huge debate on the internet is whether Jeremiah

was the victim of Hurricane Huda, or if you were the victim of Jeremiah's love bombing. Just if you had to give your immediate reaction, what is your answer? I think that we both had faults in the relationship. Like I don't think that anyone should fully take blame for anything in all honesty. Jealousy was a theme throughout you

and Jeremiah's relationship. In the second episode, he was convinced that you got up to kiss someone during the blindfold challenge. And he was like convinced. He kept asking you and asking you, and you were like, I swear to you, I didn't. He made you pinky promise, the whole thing.

What red flags, if any, did that raise for you? Or did that not freak you out? You know what's so weird? I think I'm such a person where it's like, I love giving reassurance, and I love making sure people are okay. And in that moment I was like, oh my God, like, are you okay?

Like, are you good? Like, are you okay? Like, I don't want you to feel, you know, like I'm gonna do something to you. Like, are you, like, I promise I'm not gonna hurt you. Like, and I would just, I I promise I'm not gonna hurt you. And I just wanted to make sure he was okay, take care of him in that moment.

Do you see though that it's day two and you guys already having that level where it's like you're not closed off and you having to reassure him that you did something else. We moved so fast. That's fast. Yeah, we moved fast. We did.

You spoke about how you like when guys are obsessed with you, how do you tell the difference between when that is healthy and then when that can lead to being problematic? I think that, especially on the show, I think I've learned a lot more about how to differentiate the two. But I think there's a point of like obsession where it's like I've had moments in the past where people are like, should I move to North Carolina? Should I stay here and not move to another city?

And past me, I might have been like, oh my God, he loves me a lot, wow. And then another part of me would be like, that's really crazy, that's insane, don't do that. When I say being obsessed with me, it's more so like, okay, I like a man who like wants to hug me and like physical affection and stuff like that. I like a man who's like, no, like I want to make sure I'm taking her to do this and I want to make this little cute thing that's thoughtful for her. And I want to do this for I want her to be happy. And I want to show that I really like her. Now looking back in those very early days,

what red flags do you think you missed from Jeremiah? Damn, I gotta reel it back. Shit, there's so much that has happened in that villa. It's like- I know. I mean, honestly, the whole thing was the, you told me the kissing thing. Yeah. The people brought that to my attention. Like that is a red flag.

You know, just like from what I've seen is like when I'm having conversations with people that he's looking over to, like see things like that. You know, when, for example, before Pepe walked in, he was like, I'm not going to be intimidated unless he's like a six, three, like buff guy. Like, I'm not going to be intimidated at all. Then Pepe walks in and now it's like a when he found out Pepe didn't really like me. That's why he befriended Pepe. And to make sure like that's what the guys would do.

They would befriend each other so hard. I never had a shot like it was not fair like at all. And now it's broke code and I clocked all this shit. There's so much stuff that I clocked that proved me right when I saw like little edits and shit. I was like, oh, my God, I wasn't crazy. Like I wasn't losing my mind here. Girl, when the whole Iris thing happened, I think I was working out with Pepe and Hannah. And like, at this time I wasn't with Jeremiah. I wasn't with him. I remember he was in the kitchen. And I could just feel this man staring. Like I could see him staring because Pepe was like

helping me with my weights and stuff. And I could see this man staring from the kitchen. Like I'm just like, I know he's looking at me right now. He does that. Yeah. He would do that. Okay. Whenever a new bombshell came into the villa and wanted to explore with Jeremiah, you had pretty intense reactions. Yeah. Even though you guys weren't technically close off. Yep. Why were you getting so territorial? I think because I was scared because of everyone doubting us in general. And it made me wonder like, okay, what is he saying? was scared because of everyone doubting us in general. And it made me wonder like, okay, what is he saying? And I'm like, should I be more possessive of this man? Like, should I mark my territory here?

And you know, I was like, cause he told me like, you know, we're yeah, we're technically exploring the people, but like, you're the only person I want, like da da da. And I'm like, okay, let me make it clear that like, we only want each other, but like, we're still open to exploring other people. That's interesting. Okay, so basically you're trying to say you were feeling like other people were questioning you guys so you thought so much throughout the villa. So you wanted to lean in more to prove like no look we're good and we like each other and you're almost like putting up

a bigger facade not that it's fake but it's like let's play it up a little bit so they really believe us because we do like each other. Yeah, I mean, there was even times where, I don't know if any of this was shown, like for example, like me and Amaya, we're besties now, but like back then I thought, because I heard that the bombshells watch

before they come in, I thought that she knew me and Jeremiah were so like, lovey dovey, and she did that on purpose to piss me off. So at that time, I had thought that she did that to piss me off. So I'm sitting here like this bitch, like, fuck this girl. Like she knew that me and him were like all lovey dovey. Like, how are you going to fuck with somebody who like, you know, that is like super close with their person? Like, you're weird as fuck for that.

And that's what I thought. And until after she told me, I was like, OK, but then I knew she still wanted to explore him. And then at the time, I was just like,, but then I knew she still wanted to explore him. And then at the time I was just like, this is just weird. It was the first bombshell. Do you think though, Huda, that now looking back when- What's that, a bombshell, sorry. It's like a rack of bombshells.

But now looking back at that Amaya moment, let's use that as an example. You going and being pissed at Amaya, even if she had watched, that's her job as a bombshell. You know what I mean? I had to learn that. Like, it was new. This is not the real world.

Like, this is very different. You have to adjust to this shit. Do you now see how people on the internet could be upset with you being like, that is like fucked, that you're going at Amaya. It's not Amaya's fault. No, did they show anything of me saying like, Oh what?

No, anything of me saying like, okay, oh, I didn't know that you didn't know blah, blah, blah. I don't think we saw that. Weird. Okay, at one point. I'm so sorry. Can I point on something on that last thing? Yes.

So I was gonna say also at this time as well, that's when all the boys were like pushing Jeremiah, like go explore, go explore, go explore. Like, do you know what I'm saying? And it made me just be like, damn's when all the boys were like pushing Jeremiah like go explore go explore go explore like like Like do you know I'm saying and it made me just be like damn like all these boys are encouraging this man To to do this and it's like damn you're trying to you're encouraging him to like leave me basically None of the guys like liked me really pause why? bitch

So beats me like I don't fucking know. And there might be things that I haven't seen that I gotta go look at, but, you know, a lot of the time, like I feel as though people didn't want me and Jeremiah to be together. Why? If you had to give your best guess, why do you think people were so upset?

And I get, as it got on and it got toxic, fine. People were like, this is fucking up the villa. But the very, very beginning, they did not want this. Why do you think if you can come up with your best guess? They have their own narrative on like what to do in Love Island and like, yes, you're supposed to explore but if someone wants to lock in, let them lock in. Like if someone wants to explore, let them explore.

Like let them do whatever they want. That's their own narrative, it's their own life. They were very fixated on it. It was a big topic in the villa. Like everybody only talked about me and Jeremiah. Especially Ace. He was fixated on you and Jeremiah. So I've heard.

That is a fucking fact. This man, half the time, I think most of the time I was looking at tweets, people were like, can this man give Shelly half the energy in the beginning days that he's giving Huda and Jeremiah? Bro, get in your own relationship, stop getting in theirs. Even if it's toxic, even and Jeremiah, like, bro, get in your own relationship, stop getting in theirs.

Even if it's toxic, even if it's whatever, like let them do their thing, before this seeped into affecting the whole villa I'm talking about, we're not there yet. But at one point Ace literally questioned, what happened to you in your past that made you move so quickly in your dating life? Looking back, do you think his concerns were valid

or do you think he was crossing the line? I think his concerns were valid. I think that, you know, he has a right to ask me these things. We're just fine. And like, honestly, I respect people who talk and ask me things. Like, I would rather someone have that conversation with me rather than assume that's something that would happen a lot in the villa. No one would sit down and ask me, hey, why is it that you do these type of things?

And I respect people that do that. In all honesty, I really do. Can you confirm, was there ever any sexual tension between you and Ace? Yeah, one point I liked him. I definitely did. There was a point where I definitely found him attractive. I thought he was really cute. I did not kiss him for nothing.

Yeah. Have you seen now the screenshots that people have posted confirming that Ace used to like a lot of your Instagram photos. So I've seen. Before you guys even got to the villa. So I've seen. I've heard excuses. I've seen.

I, that is something where I can't say it's not, it's beyond me. That is his own words to be telling. I, it is beyond me, whether is his own words to be telling. It is beyond me, whether it's AI, whether he blames it on someone else, whether it's whatever, it's beyond me. So I've heard that he's unliked all of them. I've heard, these are all word of ear.

Girl, I've only been here for so long. I haven't been able to catch one. I'm trying, bitch. Okay, can you clarify for me, how early on were you and Jeremiah intimate? Oh damn. I don't even know. Honestly, I don't remember.

Even when people were saying like, oh, we did shit. It was like, you can't fully do shit in there. Like, yeah, we had sex, but it wasn't like full on boo boo. Like, do you know what I'm saying? What was that noise you just made? Boo boo, like there's not full, like boom shakabum, the ba shakababam. Like it's, it wasn't like full, you know.

But you were like, you were intimate pretty early. Yeah, we were. How do you think that complicated things, if it did? I think that you should definitely, from learning from my mistakes, like especially coming out of this, don't do that. That's all I will say, like don't do it. Like that is a no-no.

I think that a lot of times when guys end up getting what they want, it changes their character. And- You felt that way? Mm-hmm, I did. I don't think I spoke on it, but there's things that I felt a lot in the villa that I never spoke on, but I clacked. Why?

Because I didn't really have much people to talk to about it. That's why a lot of time, like with Psych and stuff, like I would ask her so I could talk about it. What did you feel about Post being intimate with him? How was what was the shift? Like when I would ask him to do like nice things for me because like a lot of the guys in the villa were doing really cute thoughtful things for their girls and couples and they weren't even on the level of like intimacy as we were or anything and like they weren't saying the things

that we were saying to each other that's why why I looked, love bombing, hey, you got what you wanted. Yeah, it's just, I don't know, there was that. And I would ask if things, and people were always like, who the, I saw people always saying, oh, she's so needy, she's so this, she's so that. What does it matter to say I'm not your cup of tea? Don't drink it. Like, the fuck?

But I think it's interesting to hear you especially with love bombing, which we'll eventually get to but you're talking about the phase where you're being lifted up like you're this princess and you're the world and you're his girl and you're all these things and then you basically get physical and you feel discarded and it's kind of like I got what I needed

and now I think it's important, I'm not saying everything that you went on to do was correct, but I do think it's good that we're kind of just like walking through slowly because any woman listening, I hope you haven't experienced it, but I have. So I can sit across from you and say, I've been there where there is this horrible feeling when you realize, oh my God, did he love the chase?

And then I gave in and I had sex with him. And now it's not as enticing to him. It's not as interesting and so you being like can you just do little cute things for me? You're really just trying to see like I was like damn it's totally physical like like I was like fuck yeah you're making me breakfast in the morning but like sometimes it's it's more than just breakfast in the morning and then people are like oh you're well you're making me breakfast in the morning, but like sometimes it's more than just breakfast in the morning. And then people are like, oh, well you're not doing something for him.

I'm not giving wifey shit to a man who don't fucking deserve it. Can you explain pancake gate to me? Bitch, oh, can I explain this to you before I do that? So there was times where like I would express to him what I wanted from him and like, I would be like, hey, can you do this for me? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.

And I would never do it. And it drove me crazy because it was like every single day I'd be like, hey, and it's a lot for me to come up to someone and be like, hey, this is what I want because I always get scared I'm gonna push them away. And I would say like, hey, and it's one of our conversations we had early on, I have a hard time asking for things and Yes, I've done it a lot in the show But it's like it's because I'm getting out of my fucking comfort zone I'm trying to ask for things and I'm trying to be communicative and like speak about it what I'm feeling

It's the whole point. How are you feeling like all the time? And so I brought things up to him and he would say he was gonna do oh, yeah I have this and I have this and I have this plan. I'm gonna do this, this and this for you. I'm like, okay, yay, I'm sitting there waiting for the day. Nothing. I'm like, that would drive any girl crazy. Without a doubt, my question though back to you is, do you think that you

reciprocate the same standards that you hold your partners to. When I'm with somebody and they are showing me days on end that they truly give a fuck about me, getting to know me, about showing me that they like me more than just words but through actions, then I'm the type of person, like girl, with my ex, he switched his career every two seconds. Every single time he'd be like, oh, I want to decorate shoes. I said, okay, cool, bought him everything for it. Oh, I want to go run track. I was at the'd be like, oh, I want to decorate shoes. I said, OK, cool. Bottom everything for it.

Oh, I want to go run track. I was at the field with him. Oh, I want to do this. I would do XYZ with him. I'm such a supportive partner. I love uplifting and motivating whoever I'm with. That is my big thing. I think that you can do anything you want and you set your mind to. And I feel like every man needs that. They need a woman who's their cheerleader.

And that's who I am in a relationship. Like that's what I do. I love taking care of somebody. I need a woman who's their cheerleader. And that's who I am in a relationship. Like that's what I do. I love taking care of somebody. I'm a mom. Like I love taking care of somebody making someone feel okay. I like, like when I when I have like, am I actually like with somebody? I love cooking for them. I love cleaning, doing their laundry, massages. I love doing all of those things for my partner. And in past relationships, I'm 100% that

girl and I do that. What do you think was the actual first crack in you and Jeremiah's relationship? Oh my God, I have to like deep dive. Can you remind me of like key points? That would happen. I mean, I definitely think after you guys were intimate, I felt you understandably being needier,

like wanting more validation external from physical, and it almost felt like that like pursuer regressor situation where you were going to him being like, can you do this, can you do this? And he would run away. And he would run away, and then it was almost. And I felt that in person, and it just makes you wanna run more to them, like you wanna be like, hey look, can I do this, can I do that,

like am I, like are you mad at me, or you did like, and I'm always that person like, are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? One of the big talks me and him had before we even started anything was, we're gonna communicate, we have to communicate, we're gonna tell each other everything. And he told me I could tell him everything, so I did.

Anytime I was feeling something, I would tell him. And everyone has expectations for their partner, what they want. And I think at the time, like I was thinking about like what could be, and I wasn't thinking about like the reality of it and like seeing it for how it was. And at that point it was like too late for me to even explore others,

because everyone had their mind made up about me. They're like, oh yeah, she's so locked in, and she's this and she's that. And it's like, great. So like now I really don't have an option if I wanted to. So I'm forced to make this work. At one point in the season, Jeremiah told Iris, even though that you guys were going through

this rough patch, he was still focused on you. You were his girl, he was validating your relationship, but you were upset that he had confided in Iris. Why was that something that made you uncomfortable? I don't like when people talk about like our business, personally. Maybe I've done in the past, I'm hypocritical, but like I've, I mean, I don't like it.

And then I've learned from my mistakes. You know what I'm saying? Like, am I gonna do that? No, like, do you know, everyone fucks up. But yeah, no, I just didn't want him to tell that to someone I don didn't want him to tell that to someone I don't know. So I get that, you being upset.

And I think what people got frustrated with you during the seasonhood, it was like, a lot of times your feelings were valid. That's so valid for you being like, why are you telling another woman about our issues that like she likes you and you guys have kissed and like, what, this is messy. Please don't talk about our shit.

And I'm sorry, but when he's walking in, she's like, and stuff like freaking the fuck out about it. I'm like, you're giving me the ick brother, like get the fuck out of my face. But see, okay, hold on, what I'm saying is, your feeling is valid. But your reaction a lot of the time, you took it too far to the point then

where you were basically losing your credibility. Remember when I told you that there's a lot of things that play into how you react emotionally in there? Is that right? No, it's not right. And it's my first time in an environment like that. Never in my life have I been in an environment like that. Usually I can just have that conversation when I want to

or feel the feelings like privately or do you know what I'm saying? And in terms of like crash outs, for example, a bitch, we all fucking crash out. Like everybody crashes the fuck out. And in all honesty, if someone says, oh, you're doing so much. I know damn well your ass fucking crash out in your room alone in 2018 over fucking Jacoby, Like, what the fuck? Like, do you know what I'm saying?

Mine was just fucking caught on national television. Do I think I could have handled that a lot better? Yeah. And that's what taking accountability and learning from your mistakes is. Can you talk to me about this communication breakdown? It seems like you and Jeremiah got to this point where you guys were always arguing.

You could not get it right. Like we hit this one point in the season where it was like, holy fucking shit, they actually can't have one civilized conversation. When you would talk about things, why do you think the communication was breaking down so heavily? So I think that at a point I was scared

that things weren't gonna work. And I, like at one point I knew that I had no other options in there, first of all. And that, I mean, I'm, it's partially my fault. Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like, it's not like, it's not like I didn't prevent that from happening. And, you know, and that's the thing,

like I made mistakes in there. And I've had to learn throughout the season that, hey, you shouldn't do that. But there was little things I built up where it was like, okay, you know, I'm asking you like, hey, can you just, do you wanna play ping pong with me? Like I really wanna play ping pong. And you don't wanna play with me,

but you pull Iris and play with her. You've never pulled me the entire season to play ping pong. It's like little things that like mean something to me. And people say, oh, you're so nitpicky, you're so this, you're so that. Okay, there's things that I like in a relationship. There's things I want in a relationship. The right man is gonna do all of those things. When the shocking recoupling happening

where America split you and Jeremiah up, going into that night, like what were your feelings about your relationship? And then how did you feel when you found out that you guys got split up? At that point, I think I felt fine in the relationship. I can't remember vividly exactly what happened. I would have to watch it back, I really don't.

I just remember that I felt fine because I was like, oh, couples argue, we can work on things, blah, blah, blah. You know what I'm saying? I was like, I'm willing to work through this and yada, yada, yada. And then when it happened, I was like, what? I was so confused.

I was like, America fucking hates me. I was having a full blown panic attack. Full blown panic attack off camera, like full blown. They're sitting there with me like, okay, calm down, you're gonna be okay. I'm like, I failed as a mother, I fucked up. Like I'm like, America fucking hates me. Like my daughter's gonna come back

and her mom's gonna be the worst, the most hated person in the world. And I was like, now she has to live with that. Like I'm, oh, I'm gonna cry again. Cause it's like, I'm reliving it. But, sorry. Anything I talk about my daughter, I cry. But, you know, so I just, I cry um, but you know, so I

Just I was like I failed At that point I was like I failed um and It was a terrible feeling I'm so thankful. That's why I say luck is a big thing I'm just so thankful that I had an opportunity to redeem myself not once but twice First time did I do that to the full extent?

No, because I was convinced maybe I can make things work still and I knew that for example Pepe didn't want to explore me because you know me and Jeremiah were still locked in and with Jalen Jalen wasn't my type and was still locked in. And with Jalen, Jalen wasn't my type. And he's a sweet guy. But like, he wasn't my type. And they always say, you know, explore people that aren't your type. And there I knew what my type was. And that's what I wanted. Um, but yeah, I was convinced that I can maybe make things work and fix things. I came to play wasn't then I got saved again. But even that moment Hudauda, again, all we see

is you're on the chopping block, you almost go home, he recouples with Iris, and you go up to the makeup room and you are hysterical, you're sobbing, you're so emotional. So you wanna know why? I don't know if they didn't show this part, but this is a big, big, big part, and this is why, this is the literal reason

why I was sobbing so much up there. I am there for Jeremiah 24 seven. Always checking on him when he's arguing with the boys and he's sad and whatever. I'm there for him. Like, hey, like, it's OK. You're going to be OK when in that moment I'm hysterically crying. Taylor is sitting there comforting me the whole time when we're off camera. He's comforting me. Taylor's scared as fuck, but he's comforting me. OK, same goes when when Taylor was in there comforting me the whole time when we're off here and he's comforting me Taylor scared as fuck But he's comforting me. Okay

Same goes when when Taylor was in there and I'm purposely saying out loud. Hey Taylor Do you want to help me with my coffee? Like trying to see hey is Jeremiah gonna see that Jeremiah standing right there I'm trying to see if he's gonna step up and be like no like you're not making my girl coffee you know I'm saying? I wanted that from him, to show him, show me, hey, I wanna do these things for you. Ask me, hey, would you like a coffee? Something like that.

And in that moment, after the chopping block, I was hysterically crying because of how much I, I felt like I failed. I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, Charlie goes home. Jeremiah does not check on me once. We saw that. You did? Like he didn't check on me at all.

I'm always checking on this man. He never checked on me. The one time I really needed him, he was not there for me. That was a rough watch, because you were saying like my husband would never, like what kind of man is that? Like where is he? And he's more focused on himself at that time.

And there's so many times where like, I was still there for him regardless of what was going on. Like I was always there. And I always made sure he was like, hey, look at the milk challenge. I still, I was, I remember, and I sat there for a minute, I still I was I remember I and I sat there for a minute They only showed a quick clip, but I sat there from I like I'm so sorry I got to say I was like, I'm so sorry like I rubbed his face like that

We were sitting on the bleachers and we were both getting milked on he's looking at me Well, I'm crying like checking on me and like he rubs my leg and it's making sure I'm okay and I rub his arm like we were still checking on each other all these times like and In that moment after the chopping block and I realized he was never there for me, it just, it made me hysterical because I was like, this man doesn't care.

Once this all went down, you guys are no longer in a couple. We saw things really shift. And I think this is really when people deemed this as like the crash out era where you're no longer in a couple, things are shifting, you're kind of starting to spiral because you're losing him. Were you aware of how unhealthy things were getting between the two of you in the villa?

Yeah. Like you felt it. I did. Did it feel like it had gotten bigger than you? Like, or were you just trying to save the relate? Like what were you trying to do in that moment, you think? Can you read it right at the moment? Like, you...

I'm so sorry. I know, I got it. Let me just read it to you right here. I have a perfect example. The internet was extremely upset when you called Jeremiah a pussy ass bitch. And then there's also the other side of the internet who are like, damn, if that's what you guys considered bad, you would fucking hate to see me on Love Island. Regardless of how the internet feels about it, there was a lot of name calling and all the things. What pushed you over to the edge to start kind of using

a little bit more profanity? So at that point, I just felt like he kept winning. It really upset me because it just felt like the stars were just aligning for him and everything was fucked for me that whole time. I was talking about twice. This man doesn't check on me. Then he's on a date and I'm crying by myself. Like then he comes back happy as can fucking be enjoying his day.

Still doesn't give a fuck. Like it's just like, damn, all that shit you said to me. Where is that? And I'm just sitting there, I'm just like, damn, I that shit you said to me, where is that? And I'm just sitting there, I'm just like, damn. I'm stupid as fuck for sticking around, like, and just giving this man my all. Like, I'm dumb for that. Because even in that moment, even after everything he did,

I was still checking on this man. Like, and I shouldn't have done that. I should have never done that. And you know, like, people are saying, oh, like, it's so bad that you called him a pussy ass bitch. Be so for real. You know how many people call saying, oh, like it's so bad that you called him a pussy ass bitch. Be so thrilled. You know how many people call him a man, pussy ass bitch? Me. Right.

My ex boyfriend, if you're watching. My bitch. He is a fucking pussy ass bitch. No, but like mine was recorded. Like I should be, like when you're texting with your friends and your man just fucking did shit like that to you or something, you can text your friend and be like, fuck that man.

You fucking piece of shit, loser ass little bitch boy. Yeah. I will fucking ruin your life. Let's, hold on, pause. Calm down. I'm weak as fuck. I'm getting triggered. She's like, hold on.

And also. And now that's a ribbon. We literally go back, like the trauma. Like that one moment. No, but it's real. It's like, why are you being held to the standard? Again, I'm not condoning it, but I'm also, I think- It's not the best way to do things, no.

Like, it's really not. But it's also, it's like, is it a crash out? And I think, again, this is a big conversation. If this was a man versus a woman, it's like, when you see a crash out, we have seen men on reality TV punch a fucking hole through a wall. We have seen them flip furniture. We have seen them throw things at people.

We have seen people literally talk about, I will fucking kill you, blah, blah, blah. I'm not saying it wasn't a lot when you did it in the moment. I think because you were the only one at that level, it also kind of exacerbated you, and there was a spotlight, and you're walking through, and you're walking from the fire pit to the back,

and you're fucking, I will give you, it was, I would have done that you were like listening it on the conversation I did that a lot in this season cuz I'm sitting here and I'm just like I might as well do by myself cuz I don't know who the fuck's gonna tell me in here so I'm sitting around just like cuz mind you my I'm hard of hearing so I'm like I'm like I hope I'm getting this right. ["Diamond and the Moonlight"] There's obviously a lot of focus on you and like,

but obviously there were two people in this dynamic. Do you think Jeremiah has taken any accountability for what he caused within this relationship? Not that I've seen. I haven't seen really much. Every time someone says something, I feel like he's always like, anytime like I saw that interview with Kaissa and I was saying that I was crazy or something and then Jeremiah said like, like, mm-hmm. Like, do I think anyone should be getting hate?

No, I'm gonna say it like it is and say exactly what happened and be honest. What another person, what another individual does is beyond me, but I'm not gonna stay here and laugh and be like, if someone's hating on him, I'm gonna be like, ha, ha. Like, I'm not stay here and laugh and be like, if someone's hating on him, I'm gonna be like, ha ha, like I'm not doing that. Do you think you're being held to the same standard as Jeremiah in the accountability around

the toxicity of this relationship? What I will say is he got a villa before I did. He had a chance to write his own name before I did. He got a pretty face. Like he's sitting here and he's just like, I'm so charming and I'm like, and it's just like, I'm so charming and I'm like. And it's just like, okay, cool. You are painting your own narrative, that's fine.

You're saying whatever you wanna say, that's fine. But I'm gonna say how it really fucking is. I'm gonna say exactly what the fuck happened and exactly what I was feeling. Because as of until today, no one truly knows what the fuck I was feeling. And no one knows what was going on. Not everything was shown.

Let's close the chapter on Jeremiah. Give me your synopsis, what the fuck happened, what do you think it was, now that you look back. I think that, personally, from what I was feeling, now I won't know, but from what I was feeling, I felt like everything was great, got intimate, things started changing a little bit. Told him I was a mom, things started changing a lot a bit.

Like a lot of things kind of like people were getting in his ear, things were changing even more. A lot of those things happen. I was getting more needy because I was scared that he was feeling indifferent. He has every right to feel indifferent. Even if he felt indifferent about me being a mom, that's fine.

But like talk to me about it. And you're telling me every second that we're fine, you're good, you're fine, we're good, we're good. And then your actions are showing otherwise. It's like, okay, I'm going to be upset about that. I'm not gonna see you be like, that's fine. Like, especially if we're supposed to be working on our relationship.

Do you think you were love bombed? Yeah. Plain, simple. I think I was. In all complete honesty, I know that he feels indifferent. I don't think he fully understands the capacity of love bombing. He thinks that love bombing is just gifts and shit.

I'm pretty sure I think that's what I heard. I'm just like, that's not it. That's not all of it. Looking at me all the time and being like, I'm just kidding. And mind you, the beginning of the season, take, take it, take it from me around all my friends. I'm around my daughter 24 7. I'm always saying, OK, love you. Bye. Love you. Love you. Love you. Bye.

Because I say I love you to everybody. Life's too short. You know, life is too short to not say I love you. And I forgot like I hadn't been dating like that at all They get it been since like well like October something like I literally was not in the dating world at all I'm so used to saying okay I love you by love you by even when any of like the people and staff and whatever were like doing things with me beforehand Like in the hotel until they're like people I would always say I love you. Bye. I love you. Bye there's a type of person I am, a very lovey dovey person.

And I had to catch myself a few times because I kept saying, okay, love you, bye, like to Jeremiah. I remember that moment. There was like one moment where he saw you say, like love you, bye, and you're like, oh wait, no. Yeah, I think I did it a couple of times. Like I was, and I had to train myself,

like, ooh, don't do that. Cause I didn't mean to, it was not intentional. But he would look at me and be like, I love, just kidding, I like you. Like he would look at me like, I just kidding. I like you. Like he would do that to me. Oh, I don't know if any of that was shown, but he would do it so much, especially in bed.

Like he would do that all. Yeah, we never saw that in bed all the time, all the time. How could you not fall for somebody? How could you not feel like, do you know what I'm saying? And it's like when he's saying love bombing is gifts and whatever from what I was hearing on social media, I don't know if he said more, but that's what I heard. And yeah, it's just like,

and I seen him doing those things just like, okay, love bombing is not just gifts and shit. It's a lot more to it than that. Being super physical with me all the time, lovey-dovey really fast, right away kissing a girl on the cheek, likey-dovey, really fast, right away kissing a girl on the cheek, like those things, like it's just like, okay. How did you feel when he got kicked off the island?

I cried. I hate seeing people upset. I hate it. I'm a big empath. Like my friend's crying over something. I'm usually crying with her, like, a lot of times, especially if I relate. And, you know, like, I have serious concern

for a lot of people's feelings. And when he got dumped off the island, I was like, like, damn, like, I, it's not, this is not what I wanted. It's not like I'm sitting here, I'm like, fuck yeah, he got dumped off the island. Like, I'm sitting here. I'm like fuck. Yeah, I got dumped off the island Like I'm sitting here. I'm like damn even though he was doing exactly what he's doing to me to and reina like he did the exact like

Literally verbatim like the exact same fucking thing like every single thing down to the chill days The whole little from across the room the little from across the room me and Taylor clocking this shit from we're just looking at each other like Is this really fucking happening again? Exactly to the it's like he reads a textbook Was that hard for you to watch? Yes. Oh my god I had to sit there and i'm just looking at them doing it from afar. I'm like Uh, and that's when I started getting the ick I was like

you're What is wrong with you? I'm like, you're sitting here and you're just like, from across the room with the same exact things he would do with me. And it's just like, okay, now I get it. He is a love bomber, but I made sure not to speak to them about each other.

I never did, I wanted them to have their own ideas of each other and create their own. Okay, so I think we can close the Jeremiah chapter. Yeah, that man does not deserve to have his name in my mouth. We're done. Amen. Let's talk about Casa Amor, bitch. Casa Amor.

Tonight. Tonight. Oh my God, he was saying my name, Huda. He was saying my name. Huda and Chris. I'm like, okay. You're like, say it again. That's my name, Huda. He was there all the time. Huda and Chris. I'm like, okay. They're like, say it again. That's my name.

Okay, going into Casa, did it feel like a fresh start? Like what were you looking forward to? I was hype as fuck. The whole time I was sitting in the freaking villa, I was like, damn, when is my man gonna come in here? Like, when is this gonna fucking happen? I'm sitting here having me time 24 fucking 7 like I know TJ don't want my ass like

Bitch, I knew exactly who we wanted like I'm doing my best here. I'm like trying my best Thank you for like the the practice you took it like a champ. Yeah, I was like options are coming I'm fine. Like it's not the end of the world like you know I'm saying I'm not your cup of tea. That's fine Like it's okay So were you nervous at all? Cuz I know the casa boys maybe got to see like a couple clips or whatever the amount was that they got to watch Of the actual season were you nervous of how they were gonna perceive you because of your situation with Jeremiah. Yeah I was sitting I was just like, okay great. So they're all gonna think I'm crazy. Um Fabulous I'm walking in and I'm just like and I'm even like I'm thinking in my brain. I'm like, okay

I'm gonna sit here Going into this happy as fuck and I know that these guys watch everything Is this gonna fuck up everything I'm like damn it the beginning the guys are being buddy buddy can't explore I Fucked up my my thing in the beginning by being too close up can't explore. This dude doesn't want me. Can't explore him. Going into Casa Amor.

Thinks I'm a crash out. Great. Girl. You could only go up from there. Yeah. That's a positive way to look at it. And I think I surprised a lot of the Casa boys. Like I really did.

The number one thing they all kept telling me was like, Huda, you're cool as fuck. They're like, you're actually really fucking cool. I'm like, what are they doing? Like, why do you all think I'm like terrible? Going into Casa, I mean, people talked about how they really respected you because you tried to literally explore with everyone.

And I think a lot of people respected that. I'm saying God. You connect with Chris, but so did Shelly. What was your understanding of how she felt about him? So from the beginning when I first saw him and we were sitting next to each other at the fireplace or the fire pit, I was always making side jokes. I don't know if any of these are showing on camera, but I was always making little side jokes. He would laugh at everything I said. And humor is so big to me in relationships. I'm goofy as fuck and I need a goofy person. I was a fucking theater kid.

Like I'm very goofy, very weird. Like we love that. So I'm sitting there making like little jokes. I have a lot of sarcasm. Like I do a lot of sarcasm. I roast the fuck out of people. I have a guy best friend, a girl best friend, like, and we're all the same way.

It's like it's just my sense of humor. Some people, they're very sensitive and they can't take that type of humor. And that's OK. Like it's something in the world. I just won't make those jokes with you. That's fine. But like, you know, I'm sitting here and I'm just having these jokes and doing sarcastic comments and he is eating the shit up. And I'm like, hell yeah. You think I'm funny? Like, fuck yeah. Because in the villa.

No one gave a shit about nothing I would say. I say something, it's... I'm just like, okay, great. And I'm just gonna cost some more. Oh, we love Oda. She's great. I'm like, yes, like you guys like me. I was like, thank God.

I was so isolated. I was like, you think I'm funny? Okay, so you though knew that Shelly kind of was interested? So I knew she was interested in him. Obviously she picked him for the kiss. When I didn't pick him for the kiss, it literally wasn't a I'm not interested in you. I literally said, and Bicha, I don't know if they were showing, but I said to Bicha how I don I don't know who I want, which is true because I want to get to know you. Learning from my mistakes. I want to get to know them.

That's what I was doing. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, of course, I don't know who I want. I didn't, JD picked me. I didn't pick JD. That was not my decision at all. So can you clarify? Did you bring Chris back to the villa for you, for Shelly, or for both of you? For both of us.

I've literally said this so many times. Explain it again because people still don't get it. I've said it so many times. I literally said, I'm sitting there in the dressing with her. I have this great idea. Chris likes me. I like Chris. Chris likes you. You like Chris. I haven't found a match in here. I haven't even explored him because I'm thinking he don't want nobody else

because you're making it seem that way. But I took a chance last minute. I took so crazy how cards play out. So crazy. Take a fucking chance and I go and I bring him for a chat We have a conversation goes well. He likes me. I like him cool. Great. We're interested in getting to know each other. I Can get to know somebody cool first time in a minute great. So I was like, okay, I have this great idea. Let's do this I'll bring Chris back, you with Ace, that way you can still explore Chris

and I can explore Chris as well. And you can still explore Ace. Like it's a happy, I'm sitting here being like, we're gonna be great. Like this is great. Like we're happy as fuck. That all made sense to me. So then like-

And I don't wanna be tearful anymore. That's the other thing. Like I'm trying to completely change. Like I'm trying to be a better person, not just like as myself, but in relationships. I'm trying to be better. So what the fuck do you think got lost in translation between you and Shelly?

Beats me. Like I'm sitting here and this is the thing. Like I felt like everyone kept talking about me and no one was talking to me. No one was asking me. So what is XYZ123? Like what did you say specifically what this and this and this and I think there's like little relationships And then a lot stronger than me and other ones and no one gave a fuck about my opinion I would try to talk about things in a lot of scenarios where There's a lot of situations where I would be like, hey

Can I talk to this about you? Or do you think this? And people would dismiss me multiple times in the villa. I felt like I had no one. Like I wanted to talk about things with people and no one would give a fuck. And I think that a lot of people were just talking to Shelly. And there was things that were said that weren't said.

And it's just like, you're dragging shit and you're making things seem otherwise. And that fucks me up. Now everyone is danging up on my ass and all you could have done is had a conversation with me. Okay. When you, there were so many conversations about like who's being a girl's girl.

Can you, from your perspective, explain to me, how do you balance friendship while competitively trying to pursue love? I think that in the villa, people would always tell me, even when I was with Jeremiah, they're like, everyone's here to explore, everyone's going to explore, you're not closed off, everyone's going to explore, things are, you know, you can't take it too seriously, blah, blah, blah. No one owns anybody. So I'm taking all of these things that people are telling me to try to learn this process and kind of like do it better. And I'm carrying that with me.

And that being said, I'm getting shitted on for it. And everyone had their opinions on us too. This is fake. They don't really like each other. Because in CASA in general, I really kept a lot of things to myself just from me being so expressive about Jeremiah in the beginning and how that played out for me.

It's like, I don't wanna tell everybody everything. Like, I don't. Okay, I have to ask, this is a little bit of a pivot, but the moment with Amaya in the standing on business challenge, why did you not speak up for her? I wanted to speak up and I think I was trying to, and then everyone kept talking over me.

And it was a thing where like, if I yelled, they'd be like, hudda, be quiet, da, da, da. And I'm just like. Yeah, well, that was fucking rough. Okay, you better be fucking honest with me right now. Come on. What really happened between you and Ace in this goddamn heart rate challenge?

Oh, why is everything I went too far? Yes. Oh, okay. So you know, you know when I was doing the, there was like the dominant versus the missing challenge? Yes. Where like I kind of just go like, to everybody. So, why not to everybody, to Jeremiah.

I did the same thing to all the guys. Wait, okay, slow down. From like, from like dick up. Like I went like, to everybody. Okay, wait, there is a clip of your gorgeous bodacious ass turning from you forward facing Tim to you doing a little spin around, ass near face, and then it cuts, and then we see you guys like getting up. And the theory online is that you put your ass in his face.

Is that true? Why are you looking at me like that? This is so funny. I'm just like, that is so funny. Like did you ride his face a little bit with that ass? No. Were those ass cheeks a little round his? No, I think that's too far.

Like that's a no go. My butt, I think was like on his stomach area, like this area right here. Okay. And I was twerking. And I got it, it was like two seconds too. I literally went, da da da, and I got up. I'm so dead ass.

So there were no cheeks suffocating? No. The only thing that ever happened was when I accidentally fell on Taylor in that fucking woodchuck wood challenge shit. Like that is the only time. Taylor's like, I fucking love my life right now. My ass flew back. I was like, fuck. I'm so sorry. I get up. I'm looking at Jeremiah like, fuck.

Like I fucked up. I did not mean to do that No, I did not put my ass in on whatever the fuck Ace's face that did not happen. Okay more importantly Where the fuck did you learn how to shake your ass like that girl? I learned even when I had like nobody I learned My friends taught me girl would be there in the mirror just practicing. I would take little videos of myself trying. I remember when I started to get a little booty

from working out, I remember I would literally be like, be like, oh my God, it's moving. I would- Oh my God, it's jiggling. Like it's moving, like, fast. Girl, that is a fucking skill. Thank you. Okay, we gotta talk about Chris.

Now let's get like a little bit more into the weeds here because motherfucking shit, this shit went south. Viewers were excited for you to have a connection in the villa and you guys get back and we do quickly kind of see issues start to arise. A big issue in you and Chris's relationship was that he felt like you were touchy privately, but not publicly

Why and I know you said it was because of Jeremiah, but like can you really describe why? You did not want to do PDA with him. Um, okay. So like in my brain, it's like, okay Undercovers private in a separate room private I Private in a separate room. Private. I don't like in mind you, I was doing with Jeremiah, but like until I see it in my face, like, for example, like, like an Irish and paper dude all the time to piss me off, like just to be funny. They'd like, look away and they'd be kissing and I'd look over. I'm like, oh, my God, like, I don't want to see that shit.

I don't want to do that. Also, the entire time with Jeremiah, everyone has their opinions on our relationship because we're so touchy in front of everybody. It's like, maybe I don't want people to have their opinions and talk about us and whatever. Like, I just want to keep that to us. Is that a crime? I mean, I got it. I think I couldn't get why he kept fucking lingering and like really couldn't get over it There's reasons why I wouldn't either to why there was so many things that he was doing that were not shown at all and I think That like all of those things played into the me not wanting to kiss him

Sometimes like can you just give an example of like what you were experiencing that was playing into you not wanting to kiss him Yeah, no, so he he had a wandering eye you were experiencing that was playing into you not wanting to kiss him. Yeah, no, so he had a wandering eye. He was definitely looking at other girls, even if it was off camera, would say things about other girls. And it's like, why are you talking about a girl

like that in front of me? And he would have little cute nicknames for girls. And he would say shut up. He would, a lot too. That was once too. He told you to shut up so many times where I was like, this isn't like joking anymore. Do not talk to me that way.

Yeah, he always was saying that to you. Yeah, and a lot of times, and I think that people were saying that I was being rude in certain ways. There's sometimes, am I joking way of talking sometimes? Like when I'm just like, Robby's so for real. Like, and I talk joking way of talking sometimes like when I'm just like be so for real like and I talk like that and it sounds like I'm being really mean but when you know my humor like that's how I talk um I can't remember there's like one specific moment I had seen a clip of me talking I was like damn I can see how that sounds mean it was in a

joking manner but I can see how that sounds me and that's happened a lot too I mean people don't understand my humor but there was a lot of things that sounds to me. And that's happened a lot too. I mean, people don't understand my humor, but there was a lot of things that played into me not wanting to kiss him, because I'm like, you're not doing the things I'm asking you to do, so why would I kiss you in front of other people? Girl, he would never talk to me during the day,

but he would talk to every single girl. He would, I would walk in the mornings and I would get all cute, and like, I remember there was one specific moment, I was in a green bikini and like some white shorts, and I felt so cute that day, and I walked on the stairs. He is not looking at me even but he's having a full conversation with Shelly like doesn't even This is full and

And this would happen with multiple girls in the village He would do this and it's just like damn say good morning I never was like why didn't you say good morning because it's like this has been happening for a while since I noticed he Started having a wandering eye and that's And I was like, why didn't you say good morning? Because it's like, this has been happening for a while since I noticed he started having a wandering eye. And that's when I was like, okay, I'm not about to start trying to get his attention. I'm not about to do what I did before and like be needy. I'm not doing that.

Like. It seemed like Chris, it was like randomly, just kind of like told everyone that you guys had sex without talking to you. Girl, he didn't fully do anything. That's the other part. Oh really? Girl, it was like halfway.

It wasn't even all, like he, we did not, like that's the other thing. You're like, it was like this. Like, it wasn't even the full shebang. Like, I'm just like like you're over here like yeah We had sex and we did this and I fucked this girl. She's so fine Shut up like you barely put that shit in don't even and it's not cuz I couldn't take it. That's for fucking sure like bitch shut up I

Feel like that shit ears it the fuck out of me But did you two even have a conversation that you were like chill with him even saying that shit or is he just going around and saying that shit? Girl, he knows how I feel about me about people sharing business of mine. I think we all do. Amen, sister. Like. I learned that today. You're like, shut up.

No, between us. You want to know what's funny? In bed, I literally said, keep this between us. You're not gonna tell him the money? You're not gonna tell him the money? I'm like, okay. Like, okay, I know he's not gonna tell anybody. Then he goes and does it.

You told me you weren't gonna do it. And I don't think that was shown on camera, but he, in bed, a lot of the conversations in bed were never shown. But that's when everybody starts getting lovey-dovey and talking real a lot. So just an FYI, but yeah in bed He told me he wouldn't. Oh my god. I'm just like be for real brother. Go back and play basketball Okay, you're good. Yeah, exactly. Thank you No, it's fine you're so don't know I haven watched anything. Can you explain to me this pillow fight situation? So I had a nose job.

Yep. Looks great, by the way. Thanks, Kveen. I had a nose job a few months ago. He threw this pillow. Mind you, it might have not been on purpose. I don't think it was on purpose. But even I kept saying, I was like, bro,

you picked the hardest pillow and threw it at my face You saw the way through that shit girl You're six eight your hands are the size of my face and you chuck a pillow at my face Girl, it likes you process things in your brain You got locked you got wow and I'm sitting here and they're like she's so dramatic it's like she got shot You got whacked. You got whacked. Girl, and I'm sitting here and they're like, she's so dramatic, it's like she got shot. Get the fuck out of my face, that shit hurts so bad.

I couldn't even touch my nose lightly like this without it being in so much pain. Did he apologize? He goes, sorry, cuddles his pillow. Let's quickly talk about the peaks and the pits. It was so fucking sad. You're all sitting at this goddamn dinner. Everyone's like, let's talk about our peaks.

You get to Chris, the motherfucker is like, my two peaks are playing basketball with the boys and seeing my fucking family. And you're sitting directly across from him and he doesn't mention you at all. Can I tell you, I clock everything. And these are all things I put in the back of my mind. You're like, you won't kiss me, I'm not that bitch.

Be so for real. How did that make you feel when he wouldn't even mention you? I sat there and I'm just like, I think there was so many things that were showing me that this man did not like me in that way, or like was losing feelings in some way. And it's like, okay,

it felt like the more I would talk about what I needed, the more he would pull back and like act like he was so nauseous on every fuck. And it's like, okay, great. That's fine, but I'm not gonna yell at you about it. I'm gonna sit here. I'm just gonna put it in the back of my mind and carry on. Okay. Wait the snuggling moment though. You wake this man up in the dead of sleep and oh girl. He was not asleep. This man was not asleep.

He purposely rolled over and was just standing there like this stiff as a board like standing there like this and i'm like, hey Hey, he's not listening. So i'm like To his lip i'm like brother, I know you're awake and he's just like Acting like he's asleep. He just rolled over like he's sitting there acting like he's dead asleep And i'm like dude, why the fuck are you ignoring me bro? Like and you're like if you don't cuddle me i'm gonna be mad at you tomorrow because I was so over it Cuz I brought it up so many times and you just smacked me in the fucking face I got fucking tape on my nose looking like the fucking Notre Dame or whatever the fuck like over here. Um, and you

Brother you're sitting here. You're just like oh You're like I'm an account to three I tried everything I got down to okay. You want me to show you like a child. Yeah, cause I've been trying everything. I tried everything. I got down to, okay, you want me to treat you like a child? Yeah, I'm gonna sit here. Bitch, was that the correct thing to do? No, I should have just left it, I just left it alone. But you keep telling me that you're gonna fix this and fix that and do this and do that. And it's like you're not doing it. And it's getting to that point where I'm like, brother, this is so irritating to me

because it's every single night. You know when they say the guys will give you 100% and then they'll take away 20, give you another 10, take away 20, give you, kind of, to me, that's how it was feeling. And I'm trying my best to be on my best behavior. And I'm just like, I'm trying to be a better person. Like I am trying, like if you say I'm not, bitch, look at the first, like I'm trying.

So like, was it correct for me to count down? But girl, I went down to my last option. Chris's ex, alleged ex posted on TikTok that he has a track record of being cold and passive aggressive. Can you confirm from your experience with him? Yes. Take me to the motherfucking-

That was so easy, I'm sorry. You're like, yes. Yes. And what else? Oh yes. Yes. The water moment. This has gone viral, obviously.

You and Chris are having this final dinner and you're sitting there together and you're breaking up. Oh my God, it's so funny. Oh my God, Huda. When I watched that, I died laughing because I know exactly what happened in that moment. Okay, what? So it's just so funny. He he um, because it made him look like he was doing his big one.

What I had done when he walked up to me like after like he had walked away initially, I told him and I was just like, hey, like, are you gonna carry me or should I walk? Cause mind you, there's like rocks in the water and it's like murky and there's like maybe dirty things in there, like I don't know, glass, I have no idea, I don't wanna walk on that bit of foot. And so I'm like telling him, I'm like, okay, do you wanna carry me or am I gonna walk?

And he's just like, I'm not gonna carry you. And I said, okay, then I'll walk my fucking self, are you here? And then he walked away." And in the moment, so you guys had broken up and I was curious, because I feel like every girl I hope can see through that. He was kind of being like,

"'I don't care, what do you wanna do?' And I personally felt like it was such a cop out where it was like, he wanted you to be the one to end it so that you can take the blame and he's the victim. And did you feel it in that moment? Yes. Yeah, that was tough to watch. I'm sitting here and I'm trying not to argue.

Like I'm trying my best, like to just have a civil conversation. I was told so many times this most mature conversation I've ever had, like I'm sitting here and I'm just like, okay, great. You're putting all of this into my hands. And you're like, no, I want things to work with you. Like I want it to work out.

And you're doing everything you possibly can do to make me think otherwise. And you're putting it all on me. So pick your decision. So what are you gonna do? And I'm just like, okay. Well, I'm just like, is this what I want? No, and I'm not settling.

I'm not settling. I'm not settling. Where do you guys stand today? Gorgel. Before this comes out. I don't give a fuck. You'll be fine. You'll say this to his face. I've told him all, he knows every single thing

I've said right now. He's heard already. He's posting a little on social media acting like you guys are really fine. I wonder why. Me too. You know, a lot of people are. Or trying to.

Trust me, I've clocked all of this stuff. Do you realize you made history? You and Chris made history together as the first couple to break up during the finale. Congratulations, Sona. I sat there. I sat there. After it happened, I was like,

has anyone ever done this before? I was like, is this like, is this like something everyone's like? That that goes for standing on business, bitch. You can't say I'm fake. That's for fucking sure You can't say I was going after that fucking money bitch Like that's all I have to say. I I stayed real as fuck this entire fucking season Even if it was messy, even if it was messy, I'm real as shit. Okay, let's talk. Are there any toxic patterns that you recognized

within yourself from being on the violent that you are gonna try to move forward and break in your future dating life? Yes. One, talking over other people when they're talking, I'm working on that. Two, I think being a little clean early on. Three, there's a lot, honestly.

I'm working on myself, bitch. Oh, it's good. I think not getting too defensive about things sometimes. I always say taking accountability. I always wanna make sure I say taking accountability like I always want to make sure I'm taking accountability for things. You tell me. I feel there's there's a lot that I'm like. No I think that's it. I think it's like everything that you've talked about today and knowing more about your childhood I think

you experienced certain things that as a young girl, you should never have had to seen or experience. But what we all now know, especially because thankfully mental health is a larger topic, it's like we now know that whatever your childhood was, it plays a fucking massive part into who you become and who you are.

And so the fact that you are in moments repeating patterns, whether you are getting love bombed, it's like there is a reason you're doing that, Huda. There is a reason that you are genuinely so excited when someone is showing you love. Because look back at the beginning of this fucking episode, you had a parent who you trusted and they completely abused their power

and their love and all the things and you didn't feel safe ever. So if someone's making you feel safe and loved, why the fuck wouldn't you be excited to embrace that and enjoy that for even a fucking second, even if it doesn't last long? So it's now on you to take what happened to you in your childhood and now be like,

I am now a grown ass woman and I'm gonna do the fucking work so I cannot repeat the patterns and also not let what my parents did in my childhood did define who I am as a woman, but I'm actually gonna take that shit, I'm gonna learn from that shit and I'm gonna be better from that shit.

And I know what happened on Love Island was a lot for you mentally, but I do believe even sitting with you today and getting to know you, like, I can feel it in you. Like, you don't like this shit. No one wants to be in a toxic relationship because there's fucking shit in you that you still gotta work on, and that's okay.

Don't we fucking all? Yeah, and another thing is, I know that there's this thing going around that, like, they told me I had to act right in order for me to stay on the show, and then I also got told that someone was like, oh, you know, she they they had to put her in psych all the time. Like, but first of all, I would voluntarily go to psych on my own. I would voluntarily go on my own if I felt like I needed to have a conversation about something

because I didn't feel like I could have conversations with the girls around me. I needed a woman to talk to. That's when I would go to psych. And when I felt like there was a time where I felt more emotional, I would go to psych. I wasn't a, we're so like, you are mentally unstable. It was never that. Like, because people knew who I was. Like they knew the real me.

And- You still needed to talk, talk it through. Yeah, I need to have a conversation. And it's like, I know I have things to work on. Nobody's perfect. No, fuck no. That's why I think I'm like a little exhausted and tired of the conversation about you online.

I'm like, guys, let's fucking calm down. Like, I think again, what I was saying earlier is like, I watched fucking season two of UK Love Island. I was all the way back in those days watching that shit. If your shit was called a crash out, these motherfuckers are up for murder. Like this shit was fucking unhinged, like you've never seen.

It's like, I think we have to put in perspective what the scenario was, the environment. This is television, guess fucking what? As much as people wanna deem you as this ad or the other, you gave us the best fucking TV. And clearly it seems like you do have good relationships with people in the villa. You aren't this big villain

that the internet has made you out to be. I do wanna just ask though, how are you though mentally right now? I'm fine. I will say I'm really happy I met Amaya. She's awesome. She seesaya. She's awesome. She sees me. Like, she really does.

Like, I'm truly so grateful that I met that girl. Like, she is there for me 24-7. Even after this, like, she's there for me. And I'm there for her. Like, that is my girl. And, try again. Um, I love her. But, ugh!

Damn, I damn emotional today. You call me at a great time. They'll be the thumbnail. Just me crying. Call her mommy. So I am. So I I love her and I feel like after this little experience, it's like. I'm just happy that I'm here. I'm happy that there's so much love.

I'm happy that I'm able to not really focus on the hate. And I'm happy that I have things that are more important to me, which is my family. And those are things that I'm more focused on rather than hate. Who are you closest to aside from Amaya? Probably like Nick and Alandria. I think a lot of people wanted to know like the amount of times Nick did vote you to go off.

How have you kind of reconciled? I think that I feel personally I feel like he was influenced a lot in his decisions. From my perspective, was that made did that happen? I don't know. I think that everybody makes mistakes. I'm all about second chances. Elandra can tell you that. She tells me all the time, like, you made me believe that people deserve second chances. I always felt like no one deserves one and you see the goodness in people. And that's how I felt about Nick. I love him to death.

Like, we were so close. We were such good friends. And, you know, he keeps me in check. I keep him in check. Like, we're great. But I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do that. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do that. I don't know if I love him to death. Like we were so close. We were such good friends and You know, he keeps me in check I keep him in check like we're great

But yeah, like I do have good relations outside the villa but you know a lot of people Definitely are being a lot nicer and I clock it I do I See these things. Okay. I feel like I put you in the hot seat enough today. I get it. The internet is going to be like, why didn't you ask her this? Why didn't you ask her this? Why didn't you guys? There's only so much time I can have with her. Part two. Part two coming soon. Call her mommy. I'll be back. Okay. I'm going to ask you some burning questions.

Who was the fakest in the villa? Zero. Who was the worst kisser on the show? See, this is the thing I did say like, oh my God, I feel so bad, Who was the fakest in the villa? Zero. Who was the worst kisser on the show? See this is the thing, I did say like, Oh my god I feel so bad, but I really don't care because he doesn't even like me. Fucking, Jaylen swallowed my whole face. That'll do it.

My entire face, I'm sitting there like. Who are you dreading seeing at the reunion the most? I don't know, I think I've seen everybody already, except for Jeremiah. I mean I'm not really dreading, I really don't give a fuck about him. And like at all. Yeah, do you guys think he'll have a conversation or no? I already know he's gonna be like,

ha ha, like we're all friends, but I already know, like I already know he's gonna do that. Okay, last. Who is the most exciting guy that has slid into your DMs since you got home? Bitch, I can't even look at them shits. Every time I fucking refresh them hoes, they freaking, they refresh and there's too many.

Wait. I literally commented on someone's TikTok. Someone was like, oh yeah, Huda left single, but I look like there's so many guys that are in her DMs. I said, are we looking at the same DMs? Do you know how to organize your DMs by blue check marks? No. Bitch, I gotta teach you.

Do you wanna do that now? Kind of. Just give my phone. No, go. None, like I literally haven't read anything Oh my god, I am fucking dying at one of these we need to talk about this immediately You're fucking mine. No, I'm not me so much to tell you I'm like damn bitch I just want to lay my life on you because there's so much about me that nobody knows

Well, I was about to say the minute the cameras go off then we're gonna keep talking which is so annoying And I'm so sorry to say that you guys, but you know. That's fine. Yeah, boy. You're lying, right? No, literally not. Yeah. We're gonna stay here forever and be like, okay, so tell me.

So wait, wait, what's going on? So what about you? I wanna hear about you. No. You're like, never. It's 10 o'clock at night. You're lying. No, I'm not kidding.