Call Her Daddy - I Called Off My Engagement (ft. Laren)

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

Join Alex and Lauren for a deep conversation about why Lauren ended her relationship right before the proposal. The girls talk about feeling pressured to stick to a timeline, the difference between compromise and giving up the life you want, how to find confidence being single, and the ways your friends can support you through tough times. Enjoy! 

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Daddy Gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. Lauren and I are sitting. We kind of feel like we look like the parents from Willy Wonka. We are sitting on the couch, but we really wanted to like be comfortable and not have our feet fall asleep on the couch. And so we're in a little bit of a relaxed situation, but we're happy.

I could like doze off right here. Like I could take like a nap in this position. I'm really cozy. Same. Okay, wait. Oh, so just for context, Lauren and I are on kind of like a girls weekend in Los Angeles.

Matt is taking his brother to go golf because my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law, no. Yeah, your brother-in-law and sister-in-law. Sister-in-law? Yeah. But does that make it sound like they're brother and sister? No, they're both, he's your brother-in-law, she's your sister-in-law.

Okay. It is? Yeah. Yeah, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are having a baby. And so Matt is taking his brother to go golf and on a little golf trip before they have a kid, whatever. And so Lauren's in town and we were like, oh my God, why don't we stay relaxed,

go have a nice pool, spa weekend. Girls weekend. And we're like, oh my God, why don't we stay relaxed, go have like a nice pool, spa weekend, girls weekend, and we're going to drink a little bit, we're going to chill and it's going to be a good time. We're going to order these green margaritas that when it's the two of us, we like to order them for delivery and get a little weird together. They're just like those kind of sneaky margaritas that like you get really fucked up from them. And the last time, or the first time. We didn't know how strong they were.

When I moved to Los Angeles with Lauren, we were staying at Matt's house and he was away on a business trip. And Lauren and I, he was like, you guys should order from this place. And we got these margaritas and they're so fucking good. They're these like cucumber green margaritas. So Lauren and I started downing them

and we're in the hot tub with floats, which was weird in itself. And we're in the hot tub and we're with our floaties and slowly. We're like blasting music. Oh, and we found out how to do the strobe lights in the pool. Yes.

And we were DJing and then. We like passed out in the living room and like didn't turn the music off, didn't turn the pool strobe lights off. Matt's neighbor called him and gave him a noise complaint. And so Matt looks at his security cameras and it looks like we actually threw a rager at his house. And he's like calling you like you guys aren't like

really like official official yet. He's like calling you and he's like, like I just have to say like this is so disrespectful. Like I let you guys like use my house and my pool. Like, party. And we were like, well, you see, actually, there was no party. Well, it was a party, but.

Just two people. It was just Lauren and I. And he's like, I'm having a hard time believing that, Alex. Like, look at my backyard. It looks like there was a fucking brothel back there. And I was like. And I like the neighbor called and gave me a noise complaint. Like I've never had that happen since I've lived here.

And I was like, it's just the two of us. And so Lauren and I now always have a joke with Matt where we're like, we're hitting the green marks again. And he's like, Jesus fucking Christ, the two of you together. But to be fair, I feel like whenever it's just the two of us together and we're not interacting with other people, we have a pretty straight

and narrow path that we always go on. What's our straight and narrow path? We love either alcohol or marijuana to have a little fun together. Not in that way, that sounds weird. But you know what I mean, we like our little thing, but then we're usually passing out pretty early. And like we're not.

We're not night people. No. We thrive in the daytime and we love like a 10 p.m. bedtime. And I feel like the older I'm getting, I'm like, I can have these like fun rager moments, which I feel like I've been having lately, but it has to be spread out. And a lot of times like I'm gonna go to bed

at least by midnight. I'm not the type of person just to like stay up for the hell of it. Like if there's something worthwhile staying up for, like Miami, we had late nights. And it was so fun. Like after we would be at the party or we would go to the strip club,

we need to talk about the strip club. I just thought about that as I'm staring at your face. We would go out, but then we would always come back to me and Matt's room and we would all sit there and have a nightcap and talk and schmooze and do the thing. That was enjoyable to me. But if it's me and Matt or it's just me and you, and there's no part.

I don't need to ruin my tomorrow. No. Like we're gonna hit the hay, let them see him. We can still drink a bottle of wine and go to bed and wake up the next day. Yep. Speaking of the Miami strip club. Yes.

Can we tell the daddy gang? Yes. Yes. So we throw our Unwell Miami weekend and it was truly so fun and Lauren comes and we end up after a night at the Unwell club. We do a late late night and we go to 11 in Miami, which is a club slash strip club. So we get to the club and we are, we get a table. We are all standing there and I remember I'm like talking to Matt and he's whispering my ear

and then all of a sudden I look and Lauren is standing with this tall man and at our table. And I know who this man is because he's a reality star and he's been to a couple of our events before. But I know my best friend is barely has social media and doesn't watch reality TV and she has no idea who this person is. No idea.

You just think he's like a hot guy. Yeah. And then the next morning I asked Lauren like, wait, what, no, we get in the van to leave cause we ended up leaving cause we were like, it was too crowded and like none of the strippers could even come to our table, which, like, wait, what? No, we get in the van to leave. Cause we ended up leaving cause we were like, it was too crowded and like none of the strippers could even come to our table, which was like, I was ready for like a lap dance.

And like, yes, I want, I brought fucking a bunch of cash. I was like ready to fucking pay the strippers. And then they never ended up being able to get to our table. So we were like, this isn't even as much as fun. We leave, we get into the van and tell the daddy gang what happened with your night. So I had before we ended up at 11, I had maybe shared five words with this guy. Okay. Like quite literally five words and we were standing at the table, it's like really crowded so like we're just like touching because it's so crowded and at this point we've maybe hit a higher word count

of like we've shared a few sentences. Okay. Like not much has been happening. Yeah. And maybe sentence number five is he looks at me and holds out all his money and goes do you want to go to the back room right now and get a private lap dance, the two of us? And like, it's like 2.30 in the morning and like, I'm like kind of drunk, but I'm not like hammered. And so- You don't even have, I think at that point,

cause we had left the club and hung out for a minute before we went to 11. And then it was kind of a mission to get into 11. Yeah, like- So like I kinda like sobered up a little bit in the process of like getting into 11. Yeah. So like none of us had a buzz. No.

We were sober at 11. Yes. Which was fine. Fine. But to get a sober lap dance with a man that you've barely never met. I've been around the block a few times. No, well, I've been to, this is like my third time at like 11. So like, I know what goes down

in the private rooms in the back. Yes. It would not just be us getting a lap dance. It would be us having a threesome with a stripper. And I was like, you know, at this current intoxication level, I don't really have it in me to go from just like, not having a vibe to having a threesome with a stripper.

But you were just like, I'm literally like fresh sober. I'm like sober and like there's not like A sexual tension yet. Yeah, like we've had like, we're like, we're cracking the small talk. We're trying to like gauge. What's your name? What's your occupation?

Who are you? Exactly. I remember in real time when this was happening, I turn and I'm clearly hit you right in that middle of that conversation. Cause all I remember hearing you say is, let me have one more drink and think about it. That was literally your response.

And I'm looking at you and I'm looking up at him being like, what did he just ask her for Lauren to be like, let me have one more drink and think about it. That was literally your response. And I'm looking at you and I'm looking up at him being like, what did he just ask her for Lauren to be like, let me have one more drink and think about it. Cause you're a down ass bitch. So I was like, what is Lauren postponing in order to like liquor herself up? And then I find out that he basically asked you to go into the private room.

And then we left and he stayed. But for now, Lauren's still on the hunt. I'm just out there living my life. But I feel like you're in a really good head space of like, you are really, really in a good way single now. Because like how long has it been since your breakup? Like five months now. Okay. Wow.

Something I was saying that I was really proud of myself. I was telling you this this morning. I went no contact after my breakup, which is like, anyone I meet who's going through a breakup and they're like, what's your best piece of advice? Truly, like go no contact. Like you have to, I have no better advice than go no contact and like you have to stick by it.

I have not talked to my ex once in any capacity since October, since we broke up. And it was like, I remember I had said to you, I was nervous for you because you guys obviously live together. So once the breakup happened, you had to like figure out like all the logistics. There was like a lot of logistics to sort out.

But then once that happened in the last day that you guys saw each other of like, you got to take things from the apartment and all that stuff. You really said like a final like, very nice like, goodbye. Goodbye. I was so proud of you because I was so scared of that. Like you guys also shared each other's locations and stuff.

And I was like, is she gonna, is she gonna? And then I remember I talked to you like a week after and you were like, unshared location, haven't talked, it's over. And the fact that it's gone no contact for five months, I feel like it's really allowed you to focus on yourself and not feel like you're lightly getting pulled back into it. Even if you had any questions that you've been kind of like going through in reflecting on the relationship, I feel like you've been just taking full accountability

of like, I don't need to ask him, I'm gonna do the work in therapy about like, why did I put up with this? Or why did I do this? Or why did I act this way? Like whatever it is, you're finding the answers within yourself. And I think a lot of times,

Daddy Gang, we can use questions we have and think, well, it's just closure. I just wanna have one more conversation because I want to kind of like figure out why we both did this. And it's well, it's just closure. I just want to have one more conversation because I want to kind of like figure out why we both did this. And it's like, that's just prolonging you being able to move on. I agree. Right.

So talk to me now, though, about like five months out of a breakup. What have you realized about yourself? Because I don't think the daddy gang knows how close. How like serious it was our relationship because I think in a beautiful way I found my boundary of like privacy that I feel like I needed to instill in with this show and with the internet and I'm so happy I did that and I feel like you with call her daddy in a completely understandable way. Like he was a private person and you and I aren't that private of people

if we don't really care. So, but the people we've are with and you were with wanted privacy. And so like you were respecting that. So you didn't really talk about your relationship a lot. So I think a lot of people online, I even saw still to this day are like, wait, Lauren broke up with the boyfriend and like, so she's single and like

what's happening? Like, do you mind explaining how close you were to like this being the person you were about to spend the rest of your life with? Yeah, it was really serious. We dated for almost three years. For the last six months of our relationship we were living together and it got to the point where he had a full plan to propose he talked to my mom and her fiance like and had like a dinner with them and told him he was gonna propose he talked to me and Matt he talked to Kristen Kristen's our other best friend from childhood like at our, me and Matt's wedding, he went to Kristin and was like,

oh my gosh, I obviously like can't, I don't wanna bring it up to Alex and Matt right now because they're literally getting married, but I wanna propose to Lauren during the like holiday new year time. And can you just like make sure you put us all on chat? Cause I wanna make sure that they can be there. Cause they want, he wanted us to like surprise you

like how you guys did for me. Yeah, him and I came to your engagement. So it was like very concrete things. Oh, like there was a date. You knew a date when he was gonna, like you knew the date he was gonna propose. And you guys had talked about the ring, right? We were gonna like do something with like a family

like diamond and you knew like where it was gonna be. Like it was planned. Yes, that was happening. And I think as your friend, I remember when I heard that, I was so- Torn? Torn, yeah, that's a good word. Cause I was like, fuck, that could one day make sense.

But from the stuff that I had heard from you, I wasn't sure you guys were like ready for that. But I'm not in your relationship, obviously. So I was like, I need to just like catch up with Lauren. And obviously I didn't want to tell you, uh, he's gonna propose to you. Can I say? Yes. So like, you ended up did like, yeah, I had I had we had one of those dinners where You're like you were just like I can tell that like you're holding a lot in right now

Like can you like just let it all out zero judgment zero judgment. You can tell me Everything and if you want to stay you can still say but like I can feel you're not telling me everything and you're just holding A lot in like Let it out. So we have one of those three-hour dinners where I was just like word vomiting everything and everything and then after I told you that you were like I Am really feeling conflicted right now Because like if it does work out like I obviously don't want to like ruin your engagement but like I don't know if you know how close it is

to actually happening, and I want you to be able to have the tools to feel in control of your life and not have it just sneak up on you, and you feel like you're kind of back into a corner and saying yes because you're like, ah, shit, what, we're here, okay, let's go through it. So you ended up telling me he's gonna propose

on this day to kind of be like, you kind of do have a window of like, you gotta figure some things out. Because I was like, Lauren, that was like one of the harder things I think I was going back and forth with. And I think, again, in the best way, I feel like our relationship is so beautiful because I feel like we and forth with, and I think again, in the best way, I feel like our relationship is so beautiful

because I feel like we both talk about, we have so many friends that you communicate with friends differently, but you and I have always had this thing where it's like, we're so honest with each other, and I think we both have found our way to be, even when it's hard, what we're gonna talk about, we are so graceful in the way that we approach things

with each other and respectful. We very, very much have, I feel like a policy of like, it is your life and I don't know your life. And like, it's your life. Yes, but it's also as your best friend, I have to share this about the things I'm seeing. And then once that's out, I'm here to game plan everything that you need.

I'll support you. Yes, whatever. And I think that was like a thing that I would give daddy gang is like, I forgot that I remember multiple times in that conversation, because I had literally talked about it with my therapist. And she had said like,

you have to continue to reassure Lauren. I'm so happy you told me. Okay, that makes me feel good. No, but and I and you were great in the moment and I think I I stand by it too. But again, Daddy Gang, if you are in this position where you're seeing your friend not in the best relationship and you're like, how do I do it? You have to come from the place of like, you have to remind them that you're not judging them, that you will be there no matter what. And you're there to listen and but you also have like some information that you're not judging them, that you will be there no matter what, and you're there to listen, but you also have some information

that you wanna give them, but you're not putting it on them to now deal with alone. And I feel like when I told you it was gonna happen over New Year's, you were like, whoa, okay, and we really- For context, this past New Year's. Yes, this past New Year's alarm was gonna get engaged.

And I think you were so, like, whoa, this is another big red flag of like, how does he think that can even happen when all of these problems are happening? And I think that was kind of when it all started to unravel a little bit more for you because you really were just seeing like, huh.

It was kind of like a date that was being put on, oh, I have to figure this out. It put this rush and urgency to figure my shit out. Like, before I was like, I'll keep working on it. Keep figuring it out. I was like, oh shit, I have to figure this out now. And so once you guys ended the relationship, what do you feel like you,

in now being single? Like, what do you feel like you've now realized like you really want and need in a partner moving forward? I want to feel like they got me and that I can have a bad day or go through something difficult and they'll pick me up and help me get through it and carry me through it. But when I was talking to my therapist about it, she of like help me get through it and like carry me

through it but like when I was talking to my therapist about it she was like oh like do you feel like that's something lacking in your life right now like do you feel like unsupported and unable to like get yourself through hard moments and I was like literally the opposite like I feel like I have very deep, fulfilling friendships I can lean on if I need to. I end my days and I feel strong and confident and secure in what I need to work through and get through and that I can handle it and I'm not overwhelmed

and I'm not lonely, which I think I'm really happy that something that I want isn't like a need I'm trying to fill. Like it's not like a deficit in my life that like I'm trying to like find a person to fulfill. It's just like, I just like want like partnership. You said that to me the other day when we were in the car and I thought it was so profound

and I wanna keep talking about this a little bit for the daddying because you were like, every time my therapist was challenging me like, oh, are you wanting that because of X? Like, I feel like you've gotten so good being alone and I feel like you've always been a relationship girl so I'm so proud of you right now. Like, I've never really, really, really seen you

just like single Lauren, like for this long in a strong way where you're like, oh, I'm a little like, ooh, she'll, I wonder what she's gonna do. You're like, you've never been, I feel like happier and you don't have a partner. I was joking. I was like, I've never been happier and I've never been hotter.

No, literally. No, it's so true. You've never been happier. You've never been hotter. You just turned 30. You're thriving. And I feel like something that it's obvious is like for the daddy gang, like we have both been

at points in our life where we're both single and we aren't that good at being alone. And so we're like chasing after something. Like, tell me if you're okay with me saying this, but I think something that you had talked to me about that was like, I think very relatable was like, this was the first relationship that you were like, I actually felt like I was like this person like genuinely

loved me and like I was genuinely in love. So it's hard to walk away from that. That was like, I've, I had a relationship before, but it was like coming, it was like a college relationship that became post college. And like, that was the first time I was like, I was deeply in love. Like I was in love with this person. And I remember it was so sad because I remember you saying to me, Lauren, you were like, I just like, I feel like I've just lost so many people in my life that I love, so I don't wanna, what do you,

my innate feeling is to hold on to this person because how am I gonna just like. Oh, yeah, I was so like, this is it. Like, I had never been in love before and I had never felt that. And I was like, oh, like, this is it. Like, this is the feeling that like you fight for and like you go to like the end of like the earth for.

And like, I know that's not the case. Well, now you know, once you really have that like first like adult relationship of love. I'm not talking about like, we've all been in love hopefully before, but when you were talking about like first like adult relationship of love, I'm not talking about like we've all been in love hopefully before, but when you were talking about like love, love of like, oh, I could see a future with this person, then you really start to realize, which I think I'm so happy,

I feel like we were able to have a lot of conversations with like me, you and Matt, because I've learned so much being in my first year of marriage that I felt like you started to kind of like ask Matt and I questions throughout this past. Matt has a lot of good experiences and advice. He does. And I feel like his advice a lot was like, there's so much more to a marriage than love.

Yeah. Like if anything, that's like the easiest part of it. Yes, I like, I was talking about that in therapy too, of like, I think I like thought that like love was so hard to like come by and it was so rare. But like what is more rare is having that love and then like the compatibility aspect of like, just like what you want and need out of life

is also gonna match up. Cause like, that's the hard part. Morals, values, compatibility, what you want as a family, what like literally- Career wise, like how you wanna- Career, money, socioeconomic, where you're gonna live, how you interact with your in-laws, what you want to, how you want to raise your kids,

like where you want them to go to school. All of that is like shit that I think. People don't talk about it maybe enough where it's like, you have to have these fucking conversations. I genuinely believe before you get married and before you get engaged. And I think a lot of times it's like people are feeling in love and then they're excited and they're moving in. And then you think

once you get married then you start to do all this. It's like no, no, no, Daddy Gang, you need to figure it out before because I think again, you watched it with yourself. It's like you were in love, that was down. But then I think you have a lot of friends around you who are going through whether they just got married or their first year of marriage or their second year of marriage. And so you're watching all of friends around you who are going through like, whether they just got married or their first year of marriage

or their second year of marriage. And so you're watching all of us kind of like, do this dance. My like, all of my like, I have like, say like my like five closest girlfriends, like now they are all married and engaged. Yep. And do you, to anyone that is the single friend

in a dynamic like that, like can you talk about how you don't feel pressured by people just by seeing your friends at one stage of their life? Like how are you maintaining just like confidence to not feel like, oh, I'm the only one, so I have to hurry up and do it. Like how are you feeling like you're managing that?

Cause I, you could, I don't know if I'm saying that right. Like, I feel like you're doing such a good job of just being like, and I'm so happy for all of you, and I'm happy for myself, and I'm good on my, like what I'm doing. The easy answer, and then I'm like, I'll give like the deeper answer. Like, I do, like I have a few like newer friendships

that like I've been investing more time into because they are single Yeah, and I do think it's important to like it's just helpful to like have people who are like Oh like everyone's going on a date night tonight. Like let's do this They're like everyone's kind of tired but like I like I don't want to sit at home alone like all weekend like let's at least like go out and like

Get a drink and like be social for like a minute So like I think it is really helpful to have single friends when you're single. And then something else we were talking about recently kind of related to how am I not feeling pressure and comparison and left behind when all of my friends are very much in a different life stage than me. Being single is the minority of my close friends right now.

Because I truly, truly feel very zen at this current moment and not pressured and not rushed. But when I first got out of my relationship, the first... This is kind of like a new... The zen-ness is kind of like really within the past month and a half-ish. That's nice to hear, because I'm sure girls are going out of a breakup being like, bitch, I'm on my fourth month and I'm still struggling. Yeah, it's like a very new, like this level of like. Calmness.

Calmness. Is like kind of new. When I first got out of the relationship, I knew for a fact, like I absolutely need to be single. I need to reflect on stuff. I need to not rush into anything. Like I need to have me time. I knew that, but I didn't feel that.

I was like, I would be like, I need to be single. But in the back of my mind I'd be like, oh fuck, the clock's kind of ticking, am I dragging my feet? I was doing the numbers game where I was like, oh, so I'm 30 now. If I like take a year to be single, I'll start dating someone maybe at 31. I don't wanna rush into an engagement. So like maybe I'll get engaged at 33, married at 34. Am I gonna immediately have a kid

then a year into marriage at 35? And then like, I was like, oh my God, like I'm having a kid at 35. And like, so I started playing that game and like that was like kind of like suffocating and like consuming. I was so close To like locking in like this timeline that like I was seeing like we were just saying I was like about to get engaged And then I was like, okay, I'm gonna get engaged at 30 I'm gonna like and I have that kind of like like it was all laid out yeah, it was kind of like clicking into like step and it was like

Although there were things that weren't right and then I wasn't sure about and that were causing me stress kind of seeing my life kind of start to like Unfold and like where it was going in front of me was comforting and like the sense of security and safety So like it took a moment to shed that. Right, because I feel like that's something we should talk about too of like, I've done it before a previous relationship prior to Matt. Daddy gang, we've all been there,

or you're currently in it where you are, you see the path, you see the future, and it is so comforting knowing you can see what your timeline is. I was at the point where I was like, oh, I can look five years ahead and I can see where my life is going. And sometimes having the guy, it makes you feel like even though I have these reservations, I'm okay with looking past it because I can't give all this up.

I can't give this timeline up. Like I'm right here. I'm like, right, I'm so close. I was like, oh, I'm on like the last lap. Like I'm so close to the finish line. Like you don't throw in the towel like right before you're about to cross the finish line. And I remember I said to Lauren when she was like,

I feel like I was like right about to hit the finish line. I was like, babe, you have not, you are literally putting on your fucking outfit and your gear, you're not even in the race yet. Like, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's so true. It's like, if you feel like you're just about to get there, you're about to get the engagement, you're about to, it's like, no, no, no, no.

You haven't even started the fucking marathon yet. You are literally just putting on the clothes to see if they fucking fit. Does the uniform look good? Does it fit? How does it feel? Okay, then when you start marriage, that's when the fucking race begins.

And I feel like, or again, even if it's not marriage for certain people, whether it's you wanna have a kid or whether you decide to be life partners, but for you, I feel like that's such a relatable feeling to women listening of you don't wanna disrupt what you feel like you've spent so much time building and you're willing to potentially look past these problems because

holistically it's really starting to shape out. And the problem is, is what I've always said on the show, you guys, that my mom had always told me from a young age was like anything that bothers you in your relationship will get ten times worse when you're married. And that is disorienting and hard to hear because I think you and I had a lot of conversations of like, your ex is a good guy. Like, absolutely. It's just compatibility wise. We started to talk about things where it was like,

it wasn't the right person for me. And we would be like, no, no, Lauren, like you're saying this and this is how it's making you feel. But like, which I think was like another hard layer. Like nothing was like glaring. Like there was no moment of like, oh shit. like that was so bad, you have to end it.

It was just like these micro things that you kept, you know what it was a lot of too, which is people listening, you may have this where you're just like, am I okay with this? Am I okay with compromising? And when is it not compromising? And it's like actually kind of giving up something that's important to me

or something I did think I want in life, but like, is that superficial to want that? I think when you really got to the point of knowing is when you were laying it out and speaking to your friends a bunch and it was like, you were literally starting to compromise on every single thing in your life and everything and it wasn't even compromise, it was just like, this isn't the life I saw for myself.

Yeah. You would say it, but it was like a story you were telling yourself. And then when you, and this is where daddy gang like finding friends to make sure that who won't judge you, but can talk with it because I've been in the scenario too, where I would go to Lauren when I was going through a breakup being like, I'm so devastated, but you kept me on track to be like, but that's not what you want. I feel like when you went through this, we did the same thing where it was like, this is hard that you're giving all of this up,

but how about you reframe it and think, can you imagine if you went through with it just cause it felt like you were so close to the finish line, then you marry this guy and you have kids and every problem that you have. I was gonna like look up and be like, how is this my life? Wait, like I didn't want any of this.

Yeah. I don't agree with the way that we're doing this and this and this and this, but I wanted to just get the ring and get the marriage. And I think that's a really, really understandably relatable thing that women can feel. Like I remember dating a guy that was so financially stable at a time where I really wasn't. I think also growing up and not having my parents have all this money, even though being

around friends that had it, I definitely wanted that. It was attractive to me to have like financial security. And so I was completely avoiding a lot of things that upset me or made me feel not good about myself because of this main thing that I thought it's okay, I can look past these things because I feel safe with him. But it's like, but why do you feel safe with him? You don't feel like he's actually being faithful to you.

It's because of the financial stability. And while that is a huge thing, when you think about certain aspects, that doesn't mean fucking shit if you don't have an actual good relationship. Money is fucking great, but it's not fucking great if you're getting cheated on or you're getting fucking emotionally abused

or whatever it be. So I think a huge lesson for the daddy gang that we can take from what you're talking about is like, you felt in your gut. compatibility wise, you were off in moments. But you kept going forward, because you really also didn't want to give up the good parts. Yeah, that there was love there. That it was all kind of falling into place and like making sense.

And like I remember saying like in one of my like therapies I was having before like ending the relationship I was like I feel like I'm about to blow up my life and she was like you are but like that's one portion of your life like you still have all of your friendships you still have your career you're still gonna be you that's what I think so crazy I remember that because we talked about that after that session you had it was like yeah I guess you could say you're still gonna be you. That's what I think so crazy. I remember that, because we talked about that after that session you had. It was like, yeah, I guess you could say you're blowing up your life.

Not really, you're just ending something that was gonna bring you in one direction, but it's a portion, and everything else is gonna stay the same. I remember saying that to you, remember? I was like, you're gonna go to work on Monday, then you're gonna go to drinks with your friends that night. Everything is kind of the same,

but then a huge chunk will be missing. And so it's really, really terrifying as women because we don't have the flexibility like men do to just keep it fucking moving. Oh, that one didn't work out, I can go over here. Like they just, they have a different level of privilege. And while that is true, I really truly believe that like staying in something just to appease

one other aspect of your life that you're looking for is really gonna come and bite you in the ass. So I also think being easier on yourselves if things aren't working, daddy gang, recognizing that sometimes neither of you are bad people. It's just, it quite literally is like your traumas and your strong suits and your issues and your things that you bring to the table

that are good and bad, sometimes they just don't fucking work with someone. And instead of trying so hard to force it, while yes, a relationship is work, at some point you have to look at yourself and I genuinely believe for you Lauren, like I'm so happy that you lived with him. I'm so happy that you went all the way to the point of seeing yourself in a dress, withering, all of it because now we talk about this a lot of like, I can't wait to see the person that you meet next, because you are a better person because of that past relationship. Oh, like there's God you met

him. And like there's things that my therapist used to say, every person you date gets you one step closer to the person you're supposed to marry. And like there's things that I would have no idea that I did not like and that I definitely need and that like trigger me. And I feel like I just like know myself a lot more now. And so technically though, think about this daddy gang if we're doing the fucking math, although maybe you would be engaged right now and planning a wedding,

we have talked about like now knowing how much there was breaking down, there's a chance either one you would have been in a really pretty unfulfilling unhappy marriage, which could have ended in divorce. Now you're still so much closer though to just pure happiness of finding your person. And I think that should hold a lot of hope

in a lot of people's minds. If you're about to end something or this episode is helping you think about reevaluating, do you wanna take that next step? Well, yes, the next step seems super straightforward and easy if you're not 100% in knowing that's the right next step you're then gonna have to take a lot of back steps once you go

forward because it's gonna be like well fuck this isn't working don't force something that's not there everyone's timelines while yes it can be straightforward a lot of times with timelines they're just gonna like fuck you into making like more rushed decisions where it's like if you didn't have this in your head and if you didn't have this in your head and if we didn't have a time clock, would you make that decision? I think that has been, the timeline and the time clock

and the biological clock and children has been, and really sitting and thinking about that aspect has been one of the things, the most freeing aspects for me of I truly feel like so, I've never felt more zen or peaceful in my entire life and calm and like not rushed and like awake and confident and like sure. And I think it's because I've been having

really honest conversations with myself about what was really fueling that like urgency and that rush and that countdown and it's children and motherhood. And I, if you would have asked me six months ago, a year ago, my whole life, I would have been like, no doubt I'm having children, like no question I'm having children. And I don't feel that way anymore. And it's a little surprising, but not sad if anything, almost freeing. Because I think I was really just operating

from that place of it's just a what you do. Like, oh yeah, like I'm gonna have children. Like duh, like I have to. But like, but like, when I like, really think about it, I'm like loving this time period of like, feeling like I am the main focus in my life, like truly just me and like, what do I want? And what makes me happy? And like, everything is revolving like around you me and like, I get to be selfish. And like, my entire life, from seventh grade,

was put in positions that were pretty crazy of taking care of my family emotionally, financially, until not too, too long ago. And I'm like, it's my time. And it's my turn. And it's like my turn. And like, if a child fits into that at some point, like that's great and beautiful. And like, I know I'd be a great mother.

I might have a kid at 40. I might not have a kid. And it's like, it was like pretty like wild to say that out loud. Cause like, I just like pretty like wild to say that out loud because like, I just wouldn't have thought it. And yet here you are. And I feel like, again, had you gone down that path with that ex boyfriend, you wouldn't

have probably even had a chance to recognize that because of just this timeline. That's what you and Matt, me, you and Matt were talking about. When you're in something that you're unsure, or maybe it was me and you, you and Matt, you chase the next milestone. Cause that like puts like a- It gives you something to look forward to and focus on. To distract from the problems in the relationships.

Like, but we're gonna get engaged and then everything's gonna get better. And then we're gonna get married. And let's focus on the wedding. There's so, and then all the wedding, everything's good. And then like, let's start planning for the kid. And then once you got the kid, we, like, but we're gonna get engaged and then everything's gonna get better. And then we're gonna get married. And let's focus on the wedding. And then all the wedding, everything's good. And then like, let's start planning for the kid. And then once you got the kid, we're like, oh, we're gonna, and then it's all these distractions

and these milestones and everything's good for a little bit. And then once you hit that, there's a come down and then you're like, well, what the fuck is next? And you've seen those relationships with people. I think it's so beautiful when you said this to me the other day and I was like emotional for you because I feel like we have so many things

that we're just taught from young age as women and no one really tells us, but by the way, you can do it completely different. You don't have to do that. We don't have to do what our moms did. And I feel like this is such a beautiful place in your life that you're in. Like you're really, really in control right now

and in tune with what you want. And thank God you listen to yourself when you were in something that would have been easy to move forward with, but difficult in the long run. It's like the short term reward. Really you have to think about the long term. And now the fact that you're able to realize all these things about yourself, I'm just so happy for you.

And I really hope people listening can find their version of what you and I are both going through right now. Because I think we're both at a period where we're really having to look at ourselves. And as women, we don't feel comfortable kind of like silencing, like the noise. Yeah. In this moment, like what do I want? And if you don't know, that's your first step that you need to spend some more alone time with yourself.

If you're in a relationship, that still means you should be spending alone time and checking in with yourself. But you guys, Lauren and I this summer. Are aligned. We are, I'm on my, I'm doing a huge fucking victory lap and enjoying my fucking time being a newlywed and Lauren is fucking single

and she's going to have a good summer. And so- I'm just celebrating myself. Yeah. And so the two of us, I feel like it's this beautiful gonna be a great fucking summer of us just like going- We have a lot of fun plans. You guys, we have so many fun plans that I don't wanna fully tell you about

because it will be fun to roll, like for you guys. To roll out our social calendar. To roll out our social calendar for you guys. But also more importantly, I think Lauren and I will need to come back on this couch soon because there's a couple of things that maybe you'll find out soon. Couple announcements coming.

Yeah, that you and I haven't really ever, ever, ever talked about that I think will definitely- Catch people by surprise. Yeah, I think the daddy gang is gonna be like shocked, but also like, oh! Like, oh, it all makes sense now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's all, all good things are coming this summer,

but thank you for sharing all this. And because I do really think like so much of what you are going through right now and always is like so relatable. And I feel like a lot of people really appreciate whenever you come and sit down. So thank you, Lauren. This was a fucking wholesome ass episode.

Daddy gang, we love you. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Goodbye.