Call Her Daddy - I’m Not Depressed, Am I?

Episode Date: February 4, 2024

Join Alex for a Sunday Session where she takes you through her hilariously chaotic recent travel disaster that involved her getting way too fucked up on the plane. She talks about meeting McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy, gives her take on Taylor and Travis and provides an update on her “hot girl stomach problems”. She reveals that while Matt was away for work she didn’t leave her house for four weeks - is she depressed or does she truly just love being alone? Enjoy! 

Sunday morning, fight this Colin. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Every Sunday's fight this day. Ah! What the fuck? That was pretty good, right? Hello, everyone. It's Alex Cooper back at it again

for another episode of Call Her Daddy. Hi. Hello. How are ya, everyone? I am officially in london i am so fucking happy that i even made it here daddy gang my trip to even getting to sit on this lovely little couch in my hotel room we gotta rewind back to the day that i decided to get on a plane i feel like there are some people that are really, really, really good travelers. And I

think that there are then people that are a fucking disaster traveling. I don't know if there's a middle ground. I'm a disaster because I always overestimate myself. I'm a confident gal. I always think that I'm going to be able to pull through and get it in and get it going and get it wild and get it on. I will admit, and I don't know if anyone who has a partner has done this, but ever since I met Matt and I really let myself fall in love and really let myself, let Jesus take the wheel with the relationship. I've let Matt steer the boat in terms of travel. I sometimes I'm leaving my house without my passport because I know Matt has it, you know, and if he doesn't have it, it's his fault. It's always on Matt. And Matt knows

that. And Matt, I will say has he is so fucking organized. And when we actually started dating, that was one of my like biggest fears of dating Matt. From my past relationships, one would think, oh, you're afraid of getting cheated on. You're afraid he's gonna, you know, leak your nudes or like, it's just some fucked up shit. My biggest fear with Matt when it came to dating him was that he was too good for me. He's got his life together. I don't think I've ever dated a man like Matt. I don't even know if I had ever dated a man in the past, except for when I was 18 and I dated a 32 year old. But was he even a man or was he a man child? When it comes to traveling, I've gotten very accustomed to traveling with Matt. He's got my passport. He's got all my things. Or he'll be like, do you have this? This isn't this. The minute that we get in the car and I'm like, no. And he's like, oh, well, I already got it for you. I packed extra. And I'm

like, I love you so fucking much. You know, yin to yang. Okay. And I have never had that in a relationship where I have someone that's just like, so knows me and my flaws. This time, Matt was already in Europe and I was having to travel to Europe alone. A lot of times Matt asks me, you know, how did you survive without me? And I say, you know, I was fine. I was living a very different life, but I made it and I was happy. So don't put your judgment on me. I thrived. And then when I met you, yeah, I may be living a happier, healthier lifestyle. But baby, how do you I got here one way or another. Okay. So finally, my driver comes, I sob my eyes out and I say goodbye to my boys and I get in the car. And when I get in the car, I look at the man's GPS and we're cutting it a little close. You know, I have had both options

when going to the airport. I'm either so fucking early that I can like stop at Chicken and Pizza, have a couple fries, have a couple beers. Maybe we go shopping in the airport. One of my favorite pastimes. Oh, let's buy a lip liner we didn't need from CVS. You know, let's go to the duty free place and get ourselves a little fragrance. Like let's stop by and pick another neck pillow, even though I have 15 at home, but I just forgot it. You know, let's get another neck pillow. That's one way to live your life. Or you can be almost cutting it to the point where you basically missed your flight. That was me this time, but I've never been this close. So I'm sitting and I'm looking at the man's GPS and I'm like, wait a second. Gustav, that says that we're arriving at six. He's like, uh-huh. Yes, ma'am. I'm like, well, I'm boarding at six. You see, I didn't recognize for some reason my dumb little

head that 4.30 is rush hour in LA, babe. And you guys have heard the horror stories of Los Angeles traffic. I am here to confirm this is true. Okay. You can't budge. You can't move. I immediately call my assistant and I'm like, oh, I'm going to miss this flight. And she calls, she's like, they said that you may be able to make it, but you're going to have to rush. And the latest that you can check in your bag is 545. And I'm like, sir, you know, Los Angeles, Gustav, you got a pedal to the metal. Be safe. But let's push a ghosty.

So Gustav's putting in ways and there's a couple back roads that look empty. So he's swerving. He's grooving. And I start to get unbearably carsick sweat. I have sweat on me. However, I dressed warm for the airport daddy game because is there anything worse than being cold on an airplane the last five times I've been in an airplane shivers hypothermia I'm not okay I've asked the people can I get an extra blanket no we don't have them oh for the price I'm paying I would think I could get a couple extra

sheets nope so the things just haven't gone right in the past that I'm bunkered I would think I could get a couple extra sheets. Nope. So the things just haven't gone right in the past that I'm bunkered up. I've got layers on layers. Okay. I might as well be in a couple turtlenecks. And so I'm too anxious though, to start unlayering because Gustav and I have a plan. He says, ma'am, the minute we get to the airport, I will leave my car. I will help you with your bags. Cause I had multiple and we'll just book it. I can't start unlayering because I'm going to have to put it all back on. So I'm just drenched in sweat. Smell like shit. Thank God Gustav had awful BO, but like we loved that for him. It was fine. We were both, the car smelled awful. Okay. We reek. We're both in this together. Bonnie and Clyde type shit. Gustav gives me his phone number.

He's like, let's do it again for the thrill of it. You ever back in LA? You want to go to the airport? Let's do this again, bitch. I will say I've had drivers in the past and if you need them to push it to the limit, they kind of look at you like, pay me more, bitch. I don't get paid enough for this. I'm not going to go to the end of the earth to make sure that you get on your flight like I'm gonna cruise on cruise control and relax Gustav had another plan okay Gustav has done this before so we finally get there daddy gang and it says on the dot on the GPS when we pull up 5. This man got me down 15 fucking minutes. So we had one minute to at least get our bodies to where I'm supposed to check in.

Goosty parks the car, gets out, opens his door, doesn't close it for some, he wanted the theatrics and I was down for it. He hands me a bag bag he takes my 80 pound luggage bag Gustav goes literally looks at me isn't there like a meme on the internet or like a sound on TikTok and it's like run that was us we get to the airport I walk in I am deep breathing and the people at the front desk look at me and they say, you're totally fine. Calm down. You're fine. And Gustav and I are like, we made it. We made it. We made it. And they're like, oh my gosh. Yeah. Like we could have boarded this at like six

o'clock. You're totally fine. You have so much time to spare. Don't worry. Do you want a cocktail? Okay. Oh, sorry. What? A weight was lifted off my shoulders, right? The panic was for nothing. But thank God, Gustav, pedal to the metal. We hug. He says, call me if you need another driver. I'm like, Gustav, there is no other driver in my future. I guess I'm going to have to put him on salary. He's my guy. Okay, shout out, Gusty. I go through security. I'm good to go. I'm schmoozing with the people putting me through security. I get on the plane and I say, hasta luego to basically everyone on the flight because I had brought an edible for myself. We got on and it was going to be a seven o'clock flight. We were going to sleep through the night and then we're going to land in London at like 1.30 in the afternoon. A bitch wants to avoid jet lag as much as humanly possible.

I have my eye mask on. I have my Doritos. I have my salt and vinegar chips. I have my sour patch. I have Godiva little chocolate balls. I have my Kindle if I want to read a romance novel. I have my iPad if I want to tune back in to a little Grey's Anatomy, Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl, or Game of Thrones. I am ready to recline. I'm going to drink a lot of wine. They have John and Vinny's on the plane, which let me just tell you, John and Vinny's is one of the best, best, best Italian restaurants in Los Angeles. There's chicken parm, meatballs, and cacio e pepe. So a bitch is ready. I've got dinner on my mind, edible, wine, boom, I'm out. I do not sleep for one hour. No, not even one hour, one minute on this 10 hour plane ride.

I don't know what happened, but my edible hit me. I couldn't have been more awake. Just so you all know, this is a sleepy time edible. I don't know if it was the altitude. I don't know if it was my excitement to see my fucking fiance. I don't know what it is because I know it wasn't that. I wanted to desperately sleep. I couldn't sleep for 10 fucking hours, Daddy Gang. There's nothing, nothing worse. Well, there is so much worse. There's a lot of worse things. Then a Daddy Gang member that is a flight attendant comes up to me and she's being lovely, but I'm so fucking high and she's talking to me and I am literally like, just try to act normal, Alex. At this point, she's kind of dizzy to me.

I've had four glasses of wine because I'm trying to drug myself. I've had a full edible that is supposed to knock me out. And usually at home, I can't move my body when I've got the edible. Okay. And then this woman comes up to me and is like knocking on my pod. And she's like, Alex, like, oh my gosh, like I'm not working your area, but I just saw you as I was delivering your meatballs. And I can't believe it's you. And I'm literally like focusing so fucking hard on her mouth because I'm like, what is she saying? Like the nicest person. And also at this point, since I knew I couldn't sleep, I just want, I would have loved to talk to her. I would have

been like, come sit in my pod with me. Let's talk about the podcast. Let's talk about your life. Tell me how's your dating life going? Like, I would have loved to talk. My mouth wasn't working. So I'm like, oh, my God, I'd never want to come off as a bitch. I'm obsessed when I meet Daddy Gang in the wild. So I'm like, oh, my God, focus on the mouth. I'm mouth reading. She's probably thinks I'm attracted to her. I'm like reading her lips. I'm staring at her lips. I'm like, oh my God, what is she saying? Finally, she's like, can I take a picture with you or do you want to do it when we land?

And let me just be very clear. When I land, I'm going to look like a fucking troll, honey. Okay, I'm going to hopefully maybe sleep. At this point, I think we're like four hours into the flight. So I'm like, I better get this absolutely taken now because there's no hope when I land. So I'm like, oh my God, let's take the picture now. I go to stand up. When you're high and you've had wine, the legs specifically, you don't, you don't have a gauge of your ability for mobility like when you're fucking because

you've been sitting the whole time so I know how my head feels high and fucking drunk but what the fuck is it going to be like when I stand up on a moving plane I'm holding on for dear life we're taking the selfie and I'm on my knees in my pod because I can't get my legs completely stiff upright we take the picture it is absolutely through and through. Maybe one of the worst pictures I've ever took in my life. She's gorgeous. She's slang. She's killing it.

I'm like, oh my God, I love you so much. And then when I landed in London, here we go. Here's the big kicker. Can't get any better. I'm standing at baggage claim. My driver comes and meets me. We're chatting. He's got two daughters.

One's on her way to uni. And then this man approaches, which I really don't know how he found me. I guess maybe because I was the last person on baggage claim and I was a little out of it. You know, I didn't look around and notice like, huh, everyone's got in their bags because I'm just chatting it up with Corey. And this guy comes up to me and Corey and he's like Miss Cooper and I'm like yeah hey and he's like got a look on his face of true sadness which I appreciated he wasn't smiling when he delivered this news and he said Miss Cooper I am so sorry but your bag didn't make it yep the running gustav putting in the work gustav getting his steps for the day yeah i was fucking soul crush and i'm like is it gonna come on the next flight because i knew there was another flight two hours after mine coming from la and they're like no no oh okay he's got no answers

and so i say you know what Corey, bring me to the hotel. I got to go to fucking bed. Like I can't, I'm not trying to beat jet lag anymore. I lay in bed. I start spiraling because I realize I have 24 hours until Matt gets to London. I don't know why, but when I am alone in a location that is foreign to me, and I don't just mean a foreign country just like foreign to me I've never been I and I even I've been in London but like I can't I can't I I refuse I I will just not leave my room like I don't know what is wrong with me maybe it's just paranoia and like there's just been some weird shit that's happened to me before. I just get very anxious. So I'm like, you know what? Let's think of the positives. Although I don't have my luggage, this is a perfect excuse for me to put on

my robe and to hibernate in my room from tonight until tomorrow night when Matt gets here. So I just sit for the next 24 hours and I don't leave the room and I put do not disturb on. The hotel does call multiple times being like, Miss Cooper, look, we've really tried to clean your room, but I'm like, I'm never leaving. I'm never leaving. Go away. And then finally, you guys, I, you know, I don't like to brag, but I think I found one of the best. Honestly, no, I, Matt is dream, dream, dream man. he just takes care of me and takes care of everything and like I'm a very capable person but it's nice to sometimes like just sit back relax and just let Matt do fucking everything and he's so sweet so he shows up and I'm like I have nothing I have no clothes my carry-on is just filled with all of my podcast equipment

I don't have makeup I don't have skincare I have fucking nothing I have a microphone that I can shove up my fucking pussy that's about it and Matt's like get up put your sweats back on you look beautiful I'm taking you shopping and you know I'm thinking like Gap I'm thinking Brandy Melville I'm thinking anywhere when I'm not like you know it's okay to be in your sweats and Matt walks me into Prada and he just goes shop here we go I got you and pick an outfit that you want to wear on our date tonight. I'm taking you on a very, very special, cute date. Then he took me to the first ever bar that we had ever gone on a date in London to. I had a martini with my fiance and then we went to one of our favorite restaurants and it was just lovely. And I was so

fucking happy. And we really turned it around. Oh, my God, I have a big update. Big update. Okay. So Matt was making a movie in Serbia. And he's also making a movie in London. And everyone kind of just like had a big, fun night of getting together and just like celebrating one movie being finished. And then another movie is like almost wrapped. And so I'm meeting a bunch of the actors from both movies. You guys know that I love Grey's Anatomy, specifically only the first like six seasons. And then I like just go back to the beginning of the first season and I just rewatch it.

Meredith, Yang, Karev, Izzy, George, McDreamy, McSteamy, Addison, Bailey. Like I am an OG, OG Grey's Anatomy person. Okay. I'm sitting there and I'm sitting there and my time comes and daddy gang, I come face to face and I meet Mick Steamy. If younger me knew that I was going to meet Eric Dane, and if you guys didn't watch Grey's Anatomy, he's the dad in Euphoria. And if you didn't watch Euphoria, you're about to watch Matt's movie where he is the dad in this. And he is just, it's just so fucking cool to like see an actor that you love in person and like I had the ability to like have a little combo with him because like I'm Matt's fiance and Matt

is producing the movie and he's calling him Caps he's like oh Caps is this your fiance I'm like McSteamy I did say McSteamy to him and he laughed and he thought it was cute I can imagine it was a fake laugh because how many fucking people call him that. I don't I wonder if he gets annoyed by it. He really didn't seem it. He was so fucking lovely. And it was like the cherry on top of my trip. And then my mother is texting me because I told her that I was going to meet him. And my mom's like, where's the picture with McSteamy? Like, oh, my God, like you met him. Like, tell him I'm a fan. Like me, my mom are like the biggest Grey's fan. So that was really fucking cool. And it's just been like a really, really, really lovely, lovely trip. And this is what I will say. I

am someone that I love being alone. I've said this many times on my podcast. If you're new here I fucking thrive being alone and I when Matt left for basically a month and I'm not embarrassed to say this but it almost sounds like no no no there there's got to be like you went out at some point I didn't for exactly four and a half weeks that Matt was gone. I never once left my home except for four times to go to my studio to record an episode. I never went to a dinner. I never went to a coffee. I never went to the grocery store. I never went. I never went anywhere. I never left my house for four and a half weeks except to record an episode and then immediately got in the car and came home. I ordered every single meal or I ordered my groceries and I made my food. I would go on walks in my backyard. I stayed in every single night. I never saw nothing. FaceTimed my friends but didn't go to a fucking dinner or drinks or

anything while I was in Los Angeles for four and a half weeks by myself. And I couldn't have been happier. So don't feel bad for me. Everyone's like, Oh my god, Alex, like, are you okay? Like, I understand that maybe like sleeping too much in some world is a sign of depression. Couldn't be happier. Couldn't be happier. Couldn't be me upset. Thriving. Truly to the core. Peaking. So the point of that story is that I ended up coming to London and I also hadn't drank in those four plus weeks just because I had been feeling a little under the weather after new year and I just like didn't drink which was lovely I was just like I don't really feel like drinking I will say this if you are an introvert homebody I will say I have had a really good time in London going out

to dinners and I don't feel drained my social battery is totally fine I'm also with Matt mainly and then like a couple of other friends that are here. But like, I just am really happy I got myself out of the house. Not that I wasn't enjoying that. But I do think it will. It's gonna just make me appreciate it when I get home more. Another update. I need to just be really honest with you guys. and I don't want to you know I don't want to offend anyone I don't want to, you know, I don't want to offend anyone. I don't want to alienate anyone. But here's the truth. A couple of weeks ago, I came on a Sunday session and I told you guys that my doctor told me that I may have a gluten allergy. I then proceeded to tell you guys and my doctor, I'm having a a mental breakdown I don't see a world where I can survive without gluten I'm not someone that can take that and I don't really think that there is an option

so I would rather just shit my fucking pants and still have a bowl of pasta but I did it and I did a week of no gluten. The worst week of my life. And I still had stomach problems. Daddy gang, I still was having stomach problems to the point that I went two weeks still having stomach problems while not eating gluten. And then I decided one night, I said, fuck this. I don't think it's gluten. I made myself a giant bowl of pasta with butter and salt and pepper. And I was fine. So now I think, I think it could be a dairy allergy now. So now I'm about to try that. This is the problem. I stood with my gluten-free gals for a week to two weeks almost.

And I just want to say, I lived your life for a week and a half. I felt it. I experienced it. And I was with you and I was ready to join the gluten free community. But respectfully, I am so fucking happy that I'm not full time joining you. And I am so fucking sorry. And honestly, I get it like your gluten free life can be amazing. Not for me. And so I'm sorry for everyone trying to add me into those little group chats of the gluten free girls. I'm a gluten bitch through and through. So don't add me into any more, you know, therapy groups or menu groups or taste food groups or whatever the fuck they're called. I'm good. I'm just on my next journey.

So dairy is the next thing, but I haven't even started going non-dairy and I've just been, you know, having stomach problems. But like I said last Sunday episode, hot girls have stomach problems. There could be worse problems. It's all relative, you know? Oh, here's the last thing. Okay. And then I really will wrap this up. I'm so sick and tired of people being like, I'm so sick and tired of seeing like the Travis and Taylor like pictures and all the media. I'm not, I'm not sick of it. I all I'll say is this. When I open my phone, I want to be entertained. That is entertaining. They are two very good looking people. It's the pop star billionaire with the hot football player like it's fucking hot it literally reminds me and if you're og og and you used to watch television like me it's literally tim riggins and lila what the fuck

was her last name garrity darity lila garrity if you never watched friday night lights the show there you go it is like we're it's so it's so fun it's so fun and i'm so excited to watch the super bowl and i pray to fucking god taylor can be there because every fucking time that matt is it is like we're it's so it's so fun it's so fun and I'm so excited to watch the Super Bowl and I pray to fucking god Taylor can be there because every fucking time that Matt is watching football now all I care about is watching the Chiefs because I'm like are they showing Taylor I wish they would just have a camera on Taylor the whole game and I know that would be so fucking annoying for her but like I love it it's fucking fun it's fun it gives us girlies something to fucking do like Patrick Mahomes is amazing.

Travis is amazing. The team's amazing. But like there's so many so many fucking balls I can be thrown into the air that I'm like entertained by. And when like in the interim, I'm like, show me her gorgeous face and like show me her and Brittany Mahomes. Like I love watching the girlies on TV. OK, so anyone that's like annoyed by it, shut fuck up okay the viewership is up the money's flowing I'm entertained I can't complain okay and what I know is I can't fucking wait for Taylor Swift to write a song about Travis Kelsey that may be her best album yet so god bless and good night I cannot wait for the Super Bowl. And yeah, it's going to be a good one. So Daddy Gang, thank you so much for watching this Sunday session. I

feel like this year is going to be the year of solos. Shout out Gustav wherever you are. Well, I know where you are. I'm going to text you so you can pick me up from the airport and I can tell you all about my London trip. I love you, Gustav. And I love you, Daddy Gang. I'm going to go hang out with my fiance, get drunk and have fucking weird sex. God bless. Good night. Oh my God, I got I bought a new vibrator. It's so fucking good. It's from Goop. It's a little suction cup situation. It's amazing on the clit. So just a reminder, if you don't have a vibrator, get one. Your life will be better. So as you guys know, I'm a Spotify galley and I've had my Spotify contract. And since the day that I signed at Spotify, so many of you have been like, love you, Alex, but I just wish you

were available on all podcast platforms. And I totally get it. And over the past couple of years, I've had conversations with Spotify of like, is there any way we could ever go wide and have people on iHeart and Amazon and Apple? Could people consume it there where some people listen to their podcasts? And I'm here to announce, even though I've already announced it, but I just want to say it again, that Spotify is allowing me to go wide for 2024. And now if you are on Apple and you're listening to your music that day on Apple, you can also listen to Call Her Daddy officially now on any podcast platform and obviously still on Spotify. But I'm just really excited because everything I do for this podcast is for you guys. And I know so many of

you are on Spotify, but I do know there are a lot of you that use different platforms. And I think it's really exciting to one, I know it's going to just help expand the show, which I know Spotify knows that too, which is exciting. But then two, it's like, I hear you guys. And yeah, I'm fucking excited. So 2024 Daddy Gang gang we're fucking everywhere bitch so listen wherever you want to listen to this podcast and god bless and good night okay chip chip cheerio i'm afraid to stand up because i think i have an ass uh sweat stain do they call that swamp ass okay bye love ya Okay. Bye. Love ya.