Call Her Daddy - Kelsea Ballerini: Love Yourself Enough to Start Over

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

Join Alex in Nashville as she reunites with Kelsea Ballerini for an overdue catch up. From opening up about struggling to break through in a male dominated industry, to rediscovering herself and her happiness post divorce, Kelsea is here to show what it truly means to choose yourself. She shares cute insights from her relationship with boyfriend Chase Stokes and dispels any rumors of jealousy. Get ready to spend a day in Nashville with Alex and Kelsea.

John B? Is that you? Chase? Alex? Is Kelsey here? Hello, Father. Hello, Father! Yes! She's a national girly now oh my god i'm so happy to be here what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy okay chase is leaving because he has to go back and film, and he has a life, and he has a job. It was so nice meeting you. Thank you for all the shots last night. Oh, my gosh. I smell like tequila, so.

I still smell like tequila, too, so. Me, too. God bless. I'm in good hands. Yeah. Love you. Bye. Bye.

No. No. You just go. No. No. Just go quick. Just quickly. Quickly, we're going to take a break for a little sexual. Oh, wait. What? Oh, my God.

Okay. It's a dog leash. I swear to God. Oh, my God. What the fuck is going on? Bye, man. Love you, buddy. Kelsey Ballerini, welcome back to Call her daddy welcome to nashville thank you

for having me i've never been to nashville um and it's been pretty surreal to like get to experience it with you and chelsea handler i'm like what the fuck is life like what is happening i cannot believe i'm finally in your house i've seen it on instagram like a creeper but being here it is the most charming, beautiful. Wait. Okay. So tell me about this house. Okay. So this is like my 1920s cottage. I tried to buy this house 2020 during the pandemic. I was in the penthouse, which is crazy, crazy. I'm going to drive you by it. Isn't it crazy too, when you write songs or if I do episodes, sometimes I think some fans can't decipher like is that actually true or was it like a metaphor like where did you live

and you're like no it was a penthouse and I'm gonna drive you there. I'm gonna drive you by. Girl. Memory lane. Girl. We're going everywhere but I tried to buy this house and I was like I want a house that feels like I don't have to be a full adult yet. And I saw this house on Zillow and I was like, oh my God, this is my house. I tried to buy it. It didn't work out. Another wonderful, amazing artist bought it. She was going through a divorce at the time.

I moved 0.9 miles down the road to a house that I never really loved, but like, you know, needed to move out of the penthouse. And then whenever I got divorced, I texted Casey, who bought this house. Casey Musgraves. Yes. And I was like, I don't even know if you knew it was me that was like trying to get this house the same time as you. But it was.

And if you ever wanted to like move, would you let me know first? And within like a month, she was like, I think I found my dream home. Are you serious? We didn't use real estate agents. It was like woman to woman. And she was like, this was my healing house. And now it's like, it makes me like a little emo. Yeah.

That is so crazy that she came here during her divorce and was like, this was like her sanctuary. And then for you to also the fact that you even saw it before knowing like who had it and you just knew too something about this house i'm not gonna lie like even walking in i didn't it's so beautiful on the outside but walking in it's even more beautiful inside like there's something so calming about this house so daddy gang last night i finished my tour in Nashville. Yeah, you did. Crazy.

Woo! Crazy. Like, I don't know how you do it. I'm fucking exhausted. It's a wild world. I'm tired all the time. It's so crazy. But I cannot thank you enough for coming out.

The Daddy Gang freaked out for you. Daddy Gang, get your fuck up and make some noise for Kelton! Seeing how loud they were last night for you. It was so fun. Everyone was like, damn, like, the Ryman is, like, popping the fuck off tonight. It was insane. We go to the after party. Yes. And Kelsey's like, we need to take some tequila shots. And I'm like, absolutely.

Because last time we hung out, it was so intense. It was so intense. Like, that episode was so intense., it was so intense. Like that episode was so intense and I was so nervous and it was just a heavy conversation. A beautiful conversation, but heavy. One of my favorite things listening to you and your podcast is like how much fun you have. And I was like, I want to have fun with you this time. I think let's go. Let's get in the car and let's get it done.

Let's get it done. I have a whole journey planned. I'm very excited. Okay. Buckle up, buttercup. Let's go. Let's get in the car and let's get it done. Let's get it done. I have a whole journey planned. I'm very excited. Okay. Buckle up, buttercup. Let's go, baby. I do feel like this is a good time to tell you that I got in six car accidents the first year that I had my license oh my god amazing giving chaos um I've never gotten in a car accident and I'm really I'm not gonna drive today though i got you you're just gonna what the

oh my god your car is adorable my jeep i love a good jeep come on in yes girl here we go godspeed to us oh my god you know what i get more nervous when i'm driving in a car with someone else so just know like i'm not judging you okay Okay, well, please don't. No. Judge me for anything else, just not my driving. No. Literally. Well, when you do start it off, Kelsey, by saying, I know. Six car accidents.

Well. It's okay. It was like backing into a dumpster kind of thing. Totally. So, you're from Tennessee. I am. You grew up in Knoxville. I did.

And then you moved to Nashville when you were pursuing music. When I was 15. What would you say it is about Tennessee that is so special to you? Oh, I mean, it's just all I've known. And so like, I had a very like country music upbringing. Yeah. And so when I fell in love with songwriting, and I learned that Nashville is like three hours down the road, I was like, I have to get there. And so mom moved me here when I was 15. When you were growing up did you always want to be a singer like when did you know no I I always loved music like I did like

glee club and shit I never had a good role um but I I just I loved music but I didn't know that you could just like pick that as a career that makes sense you know like there wasn't anything around me until like Taylor Swift if I'm being so candid that made me think that makes sense you know like there wasn't anything around me until like Taylor Swift if I'm being so candid that made me think that that was like a viable option for me and so yeah once once I started writing I already had like the background of like loving music and being really active in like my choral department like worship a church at that point which speaking of we're about to pass the college I went to for two years. Um, it is a church of Christ college. Um, and let me just paint the picture for you.

Please paint it. I was very, very, very, very, very straight laced. Okay. Did not drink, did not do anything. And in this college that we're pulling up to, you were not allowed, girls not allowed in boys dorms, vice versa ever. So the most rebellious thing I did in my two years at Lipscomb, I dated this guy who was on the basketball team and, um, he and I both stayed on campus one weekend. And he gave me his clothes. And I dressed up as him. And I scaled the wall of this dorm. Stop.

And snuck in his window. And cameras just thought that I was him because I was dressed up like a boy. Kelsey. She's giving rebel. She's giving. Right there. Rebel. I'm not going to get my honorary degree.

It's not going to happen now. They're like, we're taking you off the wall. All of your awards are gone. Kelsey, I love that you're like the most rebellious thing in college I ever did, but honestly kind of rebellious also for that climate for that campus I also love that like you now are an adult and you like looking back on that like it was so rebellious but like in those moments it feels like the end of the world like

if you got caught I was a rule breaker and it's me what you're getting to know me like that was not my vibe. It was, like, very scary. So did you ever get in trouble growing up? Like, what were you like as a kid? Tell me. I'm an only child. Okay.

So you were rule follower, the perfect child. Your parents love you so much. My parents split when I was 12. So then I had big peacemaker energy. Like, I was always, like, trying to make sure everyone was okay. And that's been, like, the shedding of my skin the last few years, honestly. Oh, that's so interesting. I know what you mean of, like, you're trying to, like, appease to make sure that, like,

did you ever think they would get back together? Or was it, like, it was over? It was over. No, it was so over. But it's interesting because, like, I've always talked shit about their divorce. And now, having gone through it myself myself I have so much more empathy and like respect and perspective for them and what they went through with a kid you know you're it's so interesting though as we get older and go through more experiences like you're you're just perspective on things change because like in the moment I'm sure at 12 that was like the most heartbreaking thing in your mind.

Yeah. But probably for the best. Yeah. Are you close with your mom and your dad? I'm super close with them both. My mom moved me here. So I see her like three times a week. Yeah.

But I'm really close with them both. How would people describe you if they're like, oh, I went to high school with Kelsey Ballerini? Well, I think there were two very different experiences. Like the one that I went to high school with Kelsey Ballerini. Well, I think there were two very different experiences. Like, the one that I went to in Knoxville, the one that I, like, write all the songs about, Go Bobcats, all that, it was, like, the two most impressionable years of my life. Like, it's where I joined, like, the Glee Club and, like, had a really beautiful friend group for the first time. It's where, like, you know, I had, like, my first boyfriend.

Like, all, like, these really, like, fundamental building blocks for me. Also, like, there know, I had like my first boyfriend, um, like all like these really like fundamental building blocks for me. Also, like there was a school shooting at my high school. I know that's like really heavy to throw into the mix, but it was one of those things that like really altered my life. And were you there that day? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I was, did people lose their lives? Yeah, there was, um, there was one kid, his name was Ryan. Um, and he, yeah, he passed away. I'm so sorry. It was like one of obviously like the most traumatic things I have ever experienced, but it was that, that made my mom go like okay let's move to nashville wow holy shit i didn't talk about it for the longest time uh just because it's so heavy and it's so um common and uh right and also people just immediately go into a gun conversation which i'm not comfortable with totally you know no completely it's like you were in a school this went down and that was your experience that was so traumatizing but those two years are like the years that I just hold like so closely yeah do you

have if you had to say like what is your oh I made it moment like when it really hit you of like oh we've done this oh like I don't I don't know if I've had one Alex I'm being so honest like I have moments and especially in the last year like there's been crazy shit like doing SNL being on the cover of Time which congratulations like those are like things that are just so beyond anything that I could have even like dreamt up. But I think when you have the moment of like, Oh, I'm peaking, you're peaking. Right. And I don't, I'm not done yet. I feel the same way. It's so crazy. Like people ask me that in interviews sometimes of like, what's your, I made it. And I'm like, there's the way to compare it would be like how, when you're sure. If I said to myself, younger, me would be like how when you're sure if I said to myself younger me would be out of my mind like younger Kelsey younger Alex we would be like we're living our dreams like

this is crazy like the fact that even we're two young women sitting in this car right now and we're on the time 100 list like what the fuck like it's not that I don't recognize how crazy but it's when you're so in it and you're so motivated and you're driven it you almost don't have time to like soak it in too much yeah because you kind of got to just keep it moving yeah and I feel like a lot of young women should I should give myself this advice and you and everyone it's like we got to find ways to like be more proud of ourselves and take those pause moments. Because like I said, younger us would be so proud.

So it's like women listening to this, like if you finally got that job that you wanted or the raise that you celebrated. Yeah. And don't quiet it down. Even like, I'm not even just saying this. Even last night I walked off stage and I was like, that was so loud. Like the fact that people like cared that I like showed up I it just like those are still moments for me where I'm like it just wasn't like that a few years ago and I think especially as women we are like conditioned to feel insecure if we lean into like our wins yeah 100% and people think we're bragging or whatever and it's like if a man

was doing anything we're doing in this car it would be like he's such a boss like he's hot he's sexy he like owns it he's rich like yeah it's it just feels strange and I'm I'm still working through that too of like how to be more like comfortable in my success. Um, we're on music row. Oh fuck. Okay. So what is, what is music? Okay. So it's changed a lot, but it's 16th, 17th Avenue in Nashville. And this is like where all of the record labels are, all the recording studios, publishing companies, all of that. But we're going to go past my label in a few minutes. So I didn't even know what to expect when you said that, but it's like all of these little homes, essentially they look like little houses and then some like condo apartments and people just go in here and write. They go in, they write,

they record. I mean like RCA is one of the most famous studios and it's down here on the left. So some of the most famous musicians have been on this street. Oh my gosh. I mean, some of the biggest, not even just country. I mean, Nashville is like, obviously like known for country music, but no, like everyone has recorded here. So I'm signed to an indie label. Okay. It's called Black River. And it's part of the thing that I wear is like a badge of honor now. But like, you know, when I was starting, I was in college trying to get any kind of like gig. Yeah. And everyone passed on me. All the majors passed on me

because women were not working. And this indie label took a chance on me and like we've changed each other's lives. Dude. And so this is it. And they have a big like rolling up the welcome mat. Shut the fuck up. No shut the fuck up. Your face bitch. That is so epic. That is so Kelsey. That is so iconic. Oh my god. Are you kidding me? So this is this is where I've like made all my music. Daddy gang, Kelsey's head is wrapped around a giant building.

That is so fucking epic. I'm like, guys, that's a big one. Dude. That's a big one. Oh, you must feel so fucking proud of your... Dude, that is so dope. Are you kidding me? It's cool.

I remember when I was in college driving down Music Row and seeing all the people that had their number ones and all their accolades out front. And it's cool to be part of it. But that's also cool. I remember when I was in college, like driving down Music Row and seeing all the people that had their number ones and all their like accolades out front. And it's cool. But that's also cool. Like you said, like no one wanted you at the time. You're working. You're you're trying to make it. And for someone to take a chance on you and not only to take a chance and then you prove yourself and you change your life and their lives. That is. Yeah, that must just feel so surreal. Also, we're moving into a place called the gulch okay this little area down here is very um special to me because my first place that i ever had on my own is down here it was a studio apartment it was government rent controlled

because i i could not afford anything yeah um i lived there for two years and i'll bring you by that next but this is the song Penthouse. Those top two windows on the other side were Penthouse. Yeah. What does it make you feel when you drive past that? Oh, I feel nothing. Nothing. Yeah, I really feel nothing.

Yeah. Now I just think about like the song and I think about how many women have related to it and told me their journey of like, you know, when you play house and you're trying to make things work when it's just not working. And so it makes me feel very, I'm proud of this chapter now. You know? Totally. But it is interesting to drive by, I'm like,

oh, what a time. And then right over here was my first one. I'll bring you over there. Wait, that's such a mind fuck that it went from like your rent controlled studio to then literally the penthouse up there. Yeah. And just so everyone knows, obviously we're not rehashing it, but like the first episode that you ever came on to give context, like Kelsey was married and in this relationship

that she was not happy in and it ended obviously yeah but that was the place that you guys lived together and that is where you know the song penthouse originated from it's like being so lonely in a penthouse are we behind sewage right now no we are behind are we behind shit this is what's so fun about being in the cars like we get deep for a second and we're like are we getting an accent is that's that is literally literally shouldn't i can we are driving behind a bunch of yeah perfect moving around nice um can we also just have a moment like i'm just you're a hype queen for a second but you just played your biggest arena i sold it out. I did. Like, I'm sorry, you're nominated for a Grammy. Oh, God.

Girl. It's been, like, the craziest year of my whole life. Of my whole life. In every way imaginable. Like, truly. And when I sat down with you last time, like, I was still, everything was still feeling very chaotic in my life, you know? Yeah. And I feel like since I saw you last, it's just, like, blossomed in such a beautiful way.

That was my first apartment ever. Oh, you were, like, in the thick of it. I was in the thick of it. Where were you at in your life, like, mentally when you lived there? Compared to selling out arenas and winning, you know, like, just all these awards and getting nominated for a Grammy? Like you. I am, like, when I know what I want, I am focused and I am working. And so I think in that phase of my life, I was just, I was writing all the time. And that's the thing too, with my

story, like I, it's been grassroots. Like the whole thing was just, it shouldn't have worked. Like I'm a female artist on an independent label in country music. Like there's not a lot to like of history that tells me that that could work, you know? And so it was just like consistency and showing the fuck up every single time for a lot of years. And like this year, like we've been talking about, like there have been so many big moments. I have to pass this truck of shit, dude. I'm doing it. It's starting to give me the egg. No, you guys, like, I wish you could see like not a tractor, a tractor and literally just a bunch of shit sloshing around in front of our faces. We had to go. We had to go we had to go but it's like everything

for the last decade has like been such groundwork and such like true like blood sweat and just like work um and this year it finally feels like i'm not pushing a boulder uphill you know grinding for so long one when you get to that part where everyone is like how does it feel to be this it's like thank god it's about fucking time like yeah it's been years in the making of working and working and trying and trying and trying different routes and trying and people turning you down and people calling you crazy and people passing you that was something that i really had to get comfortable with of like there would be artists that would get signed to you know bigger labels with more like pull behind them and they would fly past me and I'd be like what am I doing wrong and I would

spend so much time focusing on other people that were winning that I couldn't I was too distracted to honor like the journey that I was supposed to be on you know I feel like that's so could also be so helpful for people listening is like we are our own worst enemies. We're comparing ourselves, especially to people either in our industry or your people, your age. If you get out of college and I know so many people write into me being like, my friend got the job or my friends making more or my friends in the relationship. My friend got married. I'm 30. I don't know what to do. Like, we freak ourselves the fuck out because the timeline doesn't match the other people's timeline.

And it's like, it doesn't fucking matter what other people are doing. You don't want their life. No. You want your life. Yeah. And you got to just, even like you said, all the way back to you being younger and things transpiring to then get you to Nashville. Like, it all happened the way it was supposed to happen. Yeah. It's hard to trust the journey though. And you're like, girl, it's hard. It's hard. Cause there's a lot of low moments and a lot of like alone nights where

you're like, am I fucking doing the right thing? Yes. And I think it's okay to doubt yourself. I feel like we like feel shame if you're doubting yourself. That's okay. Like that's normal to be questioning if you're doing the right thing. It's just the comparison. That's the thief of joy. Yeah. And I definitely went through that. You don't have to talk about this, but I did think it was incredible because I was talking

about it this morning with my hair stylist. We were talking about you at the CMT Awards. Oh, yeah. And your decision to bring out drag queens during the performance. And you got a lot of backlash people were outraged people like were like this is the time to cancel her because that was also during a time where anti-drag and anti-trans was being pushed especially in Tennessee in Tennessee yeah especially in Tennessee talk to me about your decision to do that. Um, well, what I'll say is I can't imagine what it feels like to be the drag queen on stage because the hate that I got for that was like the loudest I've ever gotten from like the public but it doesn't compare to

like what they're getting all the time and it really put me in my place and like checked me because I was like I've always been an ally what is that like but what does it mean you know and I just felt like it was a really important time to like show up in a way that I could on a stage that felt really important. Absolutely. And my lesson from that was, like, what I felt from the backlash of that times a million is literally what they go through to express themselves. Yeah. To love who they love, to be who they are, whatever, whatever it is. Like, and that to me was like a really, really eyeopening takeaway from that. Also we're on

Broadway. Yeah. Right. As we're having like the most intense conversation, there's like drums going. Um, no, I just to wrap that up, I will say like, I think I can speak for so many people and then can't speak for the other fucking people. But there was such an insane, I obviously already had respect for you, but there's such a respect I have for you to, like, make that statement. Because that's what I was talking about with people this morning was, like, I didn't know you were that. I didn't, like, no one knows, like, who's an ally, who's not. And like, it was such a statement and it was so powerful and it's so fucking crazy that people were that disturbed by it. But I commend you for doing it. And I agree with you.

It's like, we will never understand, but what we can try to do is uplift the voices and like keep spreading awareness of like, this is let people do whatever the fuck they want to do. Let them live their lives yeah and worry about yourself and it's it's disgusting the hate um broadway broadway holy shit broadway i don't even know what to like it is a wednesday at one o'clock yeah yeah dude dude every bar has music. I mean, it's so legendary. Like, when I'm home now, like, I'll have girls' nights in wool.

That's where I get it out of my system. Got it, got it, got it. So I do Broadway every now and again. I also just, like, refuse to not be normal, ever. Like, specifically in the last year, my life has changed so much. But, like, I just crave doing normal real shit you know like all my closest friends have like real jobs and you know like I want to do what they're doing on the weekends with them so I just don't I don't want to cater to my life changing you weren't even

home for like how many days were you in that house this year? I mean, like, honestly, since I got my house last November, probably, probably 50 nights, maybe. Yeah.

Okay. How do you stay sane? And like, where the fuck are you? You're just, I, I, to be so candid,

I just did a three day intensive intensive um to really like make sure that you're okay I'm okay I just like I just turned 30 my life is like very um unrecognizable from how it was a couple years ago in all beautiful ways wait so what is a three-day intensive so it was like um no phones and eight hours of therapy a day oh my god yeah and so i did like talk therapy and like equine therapy and some other equine therapy with horses oh my god it was so power like it was really powerful, like it was really powerful. And it was really good, like I feel like I kind of like tuned back into myself and I think it's important for everyone, especially around our age, like as we're growing up and figuring out our lives and our next steps,

like just to like keep checking in on yourself and your progress and your growth and like making sure that you're good. Okay wait, so tell me like where we're going and like what this place means to you so you're taking me to a bar okay i'm taking you to a bar even though i'm fucking hungover as shit kelsey not for long okay broadway is the place that everyone knows but santa's is a double wide trailer a double santa is usually there i think he's there today for us. Okay. He, um, it's like his place. Okay. It's my favorite night out. Okay.

We're at Santa's. Merry Christmas. Let's get drunk. Also, just so you know, I love Christmas. So I'm very happy right now. It's basically Christmas now. Dude, let's go get drunk. I love how I'm like, I'm so hungover.

Let's go get drunk. Look how just like, there's one place like this. This is my heaven. I've been here with Don't. If there's one place like this... This is my heaven. I've been here with Halsey. I've been here with Ed Sheeran. It is like... It's the haunt.

It's where people go to just... Vibe. Vibe. Let's fucking go. Okay. Kelsey, let's go. This is what we're gonna wear. Forever.

Daddy gang, come drink with us. We're going into Santa's bar. Come on. The show has begun. Santa's pub. The show has begun. Okay. Hello?

Santa is one of my favorite characters in this town. Santa! Santa! Santa! Hello! Hi, I'm Alex. Hi, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. You don't even understand how happy I am to be here.

Christmas is my favorite thing in the world. I am obsessed. My fiance is scared of me. When it hits, like, September, I'm like, let's decorate. So I love it. Thank you for having us. Thank you for being here. Of course. Christmas year-round here. Christmas year-round. fiance is scared of me when it hits like September I'm like let's decorate so I love it thank you for having us thank you for being here Christmas year-round here Christmas year-round my favorite time of year too Santa um you know that I don't really like beer and this is the only place that I drink it so can we get

to Corona this is so incredible yeah it's it's special. Thank you so much. Thank you. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Let's go. All right. cheers we already cheers so i'm doing it again

i love that i'm getting you to drink beer i know you don't like beer i don't like beer but i like beer here in santa's pub part of the energy part of the vibe something that we were talking about is i was like oh like um i'm 29 like wait kelsey how old are you and you're like you're 30 and i loved how we both just looked at each other being like we're feeling better than ever and i feel like right i just feel so good in my skin i feel like I look back at myself in my twenties, like earlier twenties, not that I didn't love myself, but like, I felt so just like insecure in certain moments and didn't like love parts of myself. And I feel like I'm loving

getting older. I, in my early twenties was like, so interested to see how I would feel turning 30. It was daunting to me. I was like, am I going to have my life figured out? What's it going to look like? I think turning 30 is the hottest thing I've ever done. Hot take. I think getting older is hot. I like it.

I'm liking myself better. I care way less about other opinions as I get older. I'm like, just getting to know yourself and like the ability to to do that and like having the tools to do that. Like that's that's hot behavior. It's so hot. And it's and you're so right. It's like I think we especially like growing up as like girls and then we become women and it's like a lot of like self-doubt and overanalyzing like how do I look and like men become hotter with age and women don't. And it's like that lot of like self-doubt and over analyzing like how do i look and like men become hotter with age and women don't and it's like that's just fucking bullshit and i'm so happy that i can feel the same vibe from you and i just hope every woman listening know that like it's a fucking privilege to get older and we are only getting fucking hotter because we know

ourselves better we we're more comfortable in our skin. And so ladies, when you fucking hit 30, it's just beginning. So just celebrate. So good. Talk to me about your friends. Like how do you navigate having a career and also giving time to friendship when your life is so busy? I think because I'm an only child and because I grew up just my friends were my sisterhood. That's all I knew.

You know, I've always had those pillar relationships and just like being a girl's girl and craving like those conversations and those like wine nights and I all of that like it's just brought joy in my life since I was a kid um I will say like I am the friend that my closest friends know that I will disappear and it might be a day it might be two weeks and when I come up for air we don't miss a beat yeah and that that that takes a certain kind of friend you know everyone's different but for me especially those three that I just told you about it's like we never miss a beat whether I'm gone on the road and going through whatever yeah um they they just yeah they show up and they let me show up as I am.

Yeah. I think that's so important to like, I feel like as you get older and there's less like reasons to get together with friends, especially when you get in romantic relationships and you have partners, like it's a, it's a commitment in itself to like intentionally make time for the girls. And I think a lot of times if you're not in the best relationship, you can lose that connection with your girlfriends. Because if you really look at it, it's like we're so close to those people in the moments that are what, when they're hard though.

And you know, you're not being yourself. You can kind of pull away because you can't face them. You're like, I know I'm in this shit relationship I can't even look at you talk to me about that because you kind of went through that I did I think that I use my friends as escapism in my last relationship um as much as like the time that I spent with them was like a pure want it was also like a need to get out of like my space that I was in and so when I got into this

relationship with Chase like we talked a lot about like blending friendships and like having time all together and um it's really beautiful I went on this 30th birthday trip with just my friends and I was like I love that I'm here with you guys and I'm not trying to be distracted I'm just here because I'm happy to be here. And like, I'm happy to like go tell him about it. I'm happy for you guys to show photos to him. Like it's just to be able to share the partnership and the friendships. Like that's a very new thing in my world.

And it's it's like it makes me like love everyone. Yeah. it's like it makes me like love everyone yeah more wait that's so interesting and such a good observation of like i'm thinking back to maybe like relationships that weren't the healthiest in my past and thinking about my dynamics with friends back in the day you're so right it's like that escapism piece of like i just want to go to the bar yep and not even really talk about the shit at home like i don't want to talk about him i want to just like try to just like be alive as myself for a couple hours to then go back to that hell and it's almost like you can get into this cycle of like not even like realizing you're doing it it just becomes routine and you're just surviving but you're so right like if you cannot intermingle

with like your partner and your friends like that is a red flag 100 right 100 keeping it like church and state like is not the vibe for like your romantic and your friendships they should all be sure they not may all get along to the point where they're like obsessed but it should be you can all like be together right yeah and now you're experiencing that and like i can tell you're just so fucking happy yeah i'm so happy for you okay last time we spoke ma'am you had just ended your marriage and you were going through it we were crying there was tissues oh yeah how would you describe this current era now oh my gosh oh I just feel calm I feel really calm like I feel like I was very chaotic when I first was like meeting you and talking about everything and I feel like that

lasted for a while just like the unraveling of the EP coming out and all of that that followed. But I'm just calm now. Like life's good. I can tell. Like I remember when I met you and again, that is fair to say, like we were so heightened because it was such a serious conversation we were having. But I remember meeting you and you had like there was like an anxiousness, obviously, about talking about the topic. But I could just tell it's like you had so much weight on your shoulders where do you think you would be at in your life right now if you hadn't ended that marriage um i don't think about that it wasn't an option yeah it wasn't an option love it cheers cheers you know cheers cheers bitch Cheers. Cheers. You know. Cheers. Cheers, bitch. Fucking cheers. Okay.

You are currently dating Chase Stokes. I am. And it is so crazy. He is so cute. He is so cute. And you guys, how crazy. Okay. I know. So the episode we did ended.

I'm blushing, bro. No. I swear when you, I have the TikTok sound saved because I'm going to make you do it with me later. Where you were like, so you're single. and I was like because it was so new it was so new and like I had I had been on dates like I you know but like I hadn't dated yeah yeah and like yeah it was so new and I was so nervous and it was so fragile at the time because we were like okay this is like we're like weeks into this how are we feeling you know it was I fragile at the time because we were like, OK, this is like we're like weeks into this. How are we feeling? You know, it was I remember like, oh, no, it was so crazy. You guys to think back to that episode. And how long ago was that?

Like I started dating Jan 7. Dude. So it's almost been like I know a full year. And I remember the photo came out of you guys like a little bit before we sat down. And so I remember writing that interview being like you guys like a little bit before we sat down and so I remember writing that interview being like do I ask her about it do I not ask her about it like I know they're probably not official but like do I ask her about chase and I remember it was like basically the last question that we talked about and you were so giddy and it was but it was so nice to like again talking about such heavy shit and then all of a sudden you got so red and

you were so happy and I was so happy for you because I could tell like oh wow maybe this is real maybe this is not just like a they happen to get photographed together my favorite thing was you saying you shot your shot and just dm'd this man thank god can you give the daddy gang some advice of like why to shoot your shot because why not literally why not like I don't know you just can't put that much pressure on yourself or what may or may not happen like I think you just have to be in a place where you're good with yourself and you're like just open like I was truly just so open yeah um and honestly like when I dm'd him did I think that I would be like oh this is like my guy I don't really know like I was drunk with my friends at a bar but like as soon as we started talking I was like oh like he's lovely and then as soon as we like we met I was

like oh yeah no shit that's what I was wondering I'm like when you went into that you had no expectations no no I think I was really just enjoying that new season of my life and like open and having fun with my friends and traveling right like you were down if it was going to be a hookup you were down for whatever and then it ended up obviously being more than that what is your favorite thing about Chase? Oh my God. Okay. He got my windows tinted for me. The specificity. I'm so serious though, because I went out of town. He's like been here during the strike. Okay.

And I went out of town to go start working on the next record. And I got home and my Jeep had the windows tinted. And he was just like, yeah, like you need need to be safe I want you to be safe so he's really caring yeah like he's thoughtful yeah he's just thinking about you 24 7 he's just he's very um he's like the most emotionally intelligent man I've ever met in my life I keep telling him he's a man written by a woman. That is poetic and beautiful. Cause he like, he was raised by his mom and he's very close with his sister. Like he's just so in tune with his emotions and is not afraid to be vulnerable. And it's, um, yeah, I think, I think we both obviously have come off of like public breakups and and we both didn't want to waste each other's time.

Yeah. So but we're both also like hopeless romantics are both like Virgos. We're like the plan and us is like, are we vibing or no? And we just like, yeah, it's just kind of been like. Yeah, great. Is it like crazy to you how obsessed people are with your relationship? I mean, it's new. It's wild. It's wild. It's new, girl.

Like. It is. But it's sweet to feel supported. It is. That's true. It really is. Yeah. What is like, okay, what is a special memory that comes to mind when you think about your

guy's relationship? Okay. So, so I slid in the DMs December 1 130 a.m get in there girl period drunk as fuck and we started like texting and then facetiming and all that met him in person january 7th we were supposed to have our first date the 8th but i was in la and was like, crazy that I'm here and we're not in the same room. And he was like, drop your pen. I was like. And so he came to this party that I was playing and I had just gotten done playing.

And he was like, I'm in ballet. And I was, guys, I'm sweating just thinking about this. I was I thought I was going to pass out like because like because i you know like you can have chemistry over the phone but then when you when you see each other you're like what's the height difference are we like are you the whole thing i didn't know what to do the whole thing and so i walked out to his car and he got out of his bronco hot hot hot hot bronco in a truck hot chase oaks in a bronco hot and he hopped out of his bronco and he did not say a word to me and he grabbed my face and he kissed me and he pulled my face away and he said right now is sobbing and it was just like so it was just so

redeeming like for my experience of men and relationships right and how like um yeah just like how sweet yeah you know sorry i have like chills no i know it's sappy it's so sad but it's not it's it's what's what's so fun about it is like we see all these photos of you guys and i appreciate you sharing that with us because it's like we don't know what happens obviously behind closed doors and everyone's like tell us the fucking tea kelsey well now i've spilled it on here and we have matching tattoos so we can't break up wait what we have like little Virgos oh you do yeah wait oh but you had it before you didn't get them together we got them like three weeks ago wait what I didn't know this it's like the littlest thing you'll ever see in your life like look oh it's so cute yeah she's

dainty how did you guys decide to do that um I don't know. We just kind of did. You just said, like, should we go get tattoos? Had you been talking about it? Tell me. I'm sweating again. No. It's actually cold in here. It is? Yes, it's cold.

No, Alex, no. No, I used to really resent my Virgo-ness because to me it was like very control freak, just needing power in a lot of situations in relationships. Um, and he's a Virgo too. And he and I have like really allowed ourselves to love that part of ourselves and each other. Just the need to communicate well and be loyal and planning is not a bad thing when it's like for the right things all those things like it's just it's like a thing that kind of like bonds us no i think that's really cute oh my god if you would have told me that i was gonna just sit here and like gush over my

boyfriend we want it we want it it's it's we love love okay i know i do too i'm like i'm like i feel like i'm like a middle school girl again no i really do but this is like what makes it so beautiful is like enjoying it yeah like we don't know what's gonna happen next year the next year like let's live in it let's have fun with it that's why we share it too because yeah like you're so public about it I'm like yeah because it's so good like it's good and it's and it's real and like we are experiencing life as it happens to us and for us. And like, why would we not? I agree. It's like if you guys are happy and you guys know each other, like who gives a fuck? Just do it.

OK, tell me what is a typical date night like for you guys? Oh, well, it's different because we're always in random places. You know, we don't one thing that we've worked on because we both uh need control and power and a plan is to go out aimlessly and just kind of have an adventure fun and that's really fun for us to like not have a plan and just get in the car and kind of vibe yeah that's actually great advice for people because like the amount of conversations that i will have with matt of like no you pick the place no just get in the car just get in the car oh my god yeah okay um Kelsey oh yes I gotta ask yeah how's the sex

mom turn it off mother turn it off well we talked about sex last time yeah yeah yeah yeah god i thought i was sweating before jesus um because it was something that i always felt was very uh like my experience with it was very performative and like for the other person you Um, and it don't be like that anymore. It's not for the other person. No. You're enjoying yourself. I'm having a nice time. I'm having a really nice time over there.

I'm just having a nice time. Is it, I, yeah, I was going to ask, like, do you notice the difference of the quality of sex when it's someone that you actually feel more emotionally connected to yeah I mean I didn't understand how it could be a real like connector in a relationship oh interesting I never understood that I always thought it was just something that you did because that's who you do it with you know and no no no it's like I now I realize like it's a connector for people right yeah Kelsey's like okay my church of Christ I was about to say I will say too like I do believe like

I want like I'm such a sex positive person and I love having conversations like with my friends and with women about like embracing it and not making it taboo to talk about I like as a woman in the south like it's a lot hard for me I understand I do think it's really important and healthy to talk about it I really appreciate that and I appreciate you even just sharing what you've shared because what I do know is so many people probably listening to this are going to relate to what you just said of how many people and I would just ask people listening to just think about this because I do think it's a really important conversation of like are you having sex with your partner out of just like this is what I think we're supposed to do

and are you enjoying yourself and it's like you should be enjoying yourself you should feel seen you should feel like it is a two-way street this is not just for the man and historically I think that's like growing up a lot of it is just taught to us of like he just gets off and you just like you know and that's what you do with your partner go to bed and cry her eyes out and it's and it's not supposed to be like that and I think I appreciate you sharing the difference because it's important to show like someone that I think I appreciate you sharing the difference because it's important to show like someone that I think we've all I've been in a relationship before where I'm like I'm not enjoying myself I don't feel seen yeah and I don't feel emotionally connected or safe and the

way the difference you will feel in that shift when you find that partner that you're like safety it gives you is like so beautiful it's so freeing and all of a sudden you're like oh I actually enjoy sex yeah and then you get to know yourself and then you're like it's a whole new she's doing crazy things over there everyone's like envisioning you and chase you're both so hot sorry Kelsey's like okay next question um I do want to talk to you also about kind of almost like brings me back I was thinking about it as we were sitting here about we were talking about in the car just like women supporting women and just like I think we've made progress I feel like I've seen a lot recently online just about people being so hyper fixated and obsessed with like oh my god

Chase Stokes has his ex-girlfriend on the show madeline klein from outer banks and they still work together and now they still have to go on to set together and how does kelsey feel about this and is she threatened by madeline and it's like again pitting these two women against each other and like chase isn't even a part of the conversation it's about like you and madeline and i just wanted to ask you to just talk about like how do you feel about it I mean I met her and I talked to her and she's lovely and I think she's wildly talented and I think the internet did its best to make it really weird um and it just didn't work for them uh I'm stoked to be on set and vibe with everyone i really like at the end of the day i'm a girl's girl like i just i don't buy into the bullshit um and i i

don't buy into especially like the the loud echo chamber of pop culture trying to make a thing out of nothing i think they have a beautiful working relationship and I'm excited to hang with her yeah yeah I'm like I want to yeah I'm vibing love that answer too because I was thinking about it like I don't I I think it's so interesting that people try so hard I think you're right it's like they want it so badly drama yeah they don't want consistency and happiness the other thing is if I was insecure about that that says way more about my insecurity with myself and my relationship than it does anything so true and like I don't feel insecure with my relationship and I don't feel insecure about myself I appreciate you sharing that because I actually think it's also good like

there's so much in media of like people don't feel in moments comfortable and i'm so happy you're just like guys it's not weird it's not weird you're making it weird we're good you're making everyone's good yeah we're good everyone's good last couple questions we need some advice because our wise woman over here is just like you just give wisdom okay you're giving wisdom you're giving like you're in the era of your life that we all want to be you seem so happy and you're just succeeding and we love you okay so give the daddy gang some advice okay Kelsey recently I've been encouraging the daddy gang to leave the toxic behind and stop settling and I feel like you are right there with me what is your PSA for why you should always

leave a relationship that no longer serves you? If someone's listening right now, they're in that relationship. They're like, I can't do it, Kelsey. Give them that little that pump up talk. I think there's two things. I think you're probably not doing it because fear is in the driver's seat. Fear is super powerful. But also there's probably an element of you're putting the other person before you. And what I would offer to that is you are also disservicing the other person's happiness

in future and well-being emotionally to stay in it if you know that it's done. So if it's if it's nervousness of hurting the other person, you're hurting the other person by staying there. You're so right. It's like if you're laying there at night, miserable and upset, like if they knew that they wouldn't want that either. They wouldn't want to be in that either. So like let both of you free and like go find something because you both can actually go find happiness. I think that's something you so beautifully talked about, I think, in our first episode was like there's a difference between talking about your experience, but also recognizing in moments like it takes two and so like that person can be amazing for someone else absolutely like it just sometimes isn't the right fit

obviously this is like not talking about like if someone was abusive or cheating or whatever this is just like sometimes it just ain't right and that's okay it's okay my therapist says there are seasons reasons and lifers and that's in every kind of relationship. And it is okay. And it is necessary to have relationships that are all three seasons, reasons, and lifers. And like, let it be what it's meant to be. It's okay. Yeah. Toxic relationships can really fuck up your mental health and wreck your confidence. Yeah. How have you personally noticed a shift in how you feel about yourself now that you're in a healthy relationship?

And what can you give women who may be still kind of in that toxic cycle to look forward to like the light at the end of the tunnel of like what to expect when you actually do get out? Well, I think there's a level of like pride that I have for myself for doing that because I am a peacemaker and my parents got divorced that was my biggest fear you know what I mean and I did it and did I did it turn into like a spectacle like yeah it did was that my intention god no like no um would i have done some things differently yeah probably um but like i did the hard thing and i did the best i could with the tools i had at that time and i feel so proud of myself for going against everything

that my childhood told me and everything that my adulthood up to that point told me and I did it and like the level of I like I didn't know that I had that in me you know to to dismantle this thing that I had said would be there for longer yeah um and I think knowing that I was capable of doing it with the amount of grace and love that I tried to do it with is something that I feel so proud of myself for. And I think that's a feeling that like I wouldn't have had had I not done it. It's crazy when you say that, too, because I look back at you and I'm like, as you're saying that, I'm just thinking about you in this situation and how many people probably are watching this and I'm thinking about like wow you are literally like the perfect testament to someone that people are so afraid to start over people are so afraid to leave something that even if it is not what they maybe dreamt of for themselves they're like but but what how would I even start over.

And how would this work. And you're literally sitting here a year later. It's kind of giving me chills. To be like dude it's crazy that I met you. And it was one of like kind of the lowest points you thought at your life. Of like what am I going to do. Like it was a lot. And we're sitting here.

And you've never been happier. And it's like you're literally sitting here and i hope everyone watching at home or at work or wherever the fuck you are it's like kelsey is the perfect example of someone of like you can always start over and you can always bet on yourself that you will make it through and you will probably make it better once you get through the shit and life rewards you like i'm not saying that I was the best person at all I'm just saying that like when I did the right thing that was the hard thing like I like I have a relationship that I'm like that is so yummy and I have a house that I wanted since 2020 and

I made a record that is the most me record and untouched by Nashville that I've ever made and it just got nominated for a Grammy, you know, like, and it happened because I did the really, really hard thing. And I think that's the thing that I'm saying. Like, I'm all of that is just like a result of like trusting yourself and leaning into the unknown and believing that it's part of your journey and betting on yourself you know i don't know i'm talking shit mike fucking there's nothing there's literally nothing left to say there is nothing kelsey i love you so much i love you it is an honor to now be able to call you a friend and to sit here a year later making you drink a corona and i know you fucking hate beer but so thank you you kind of are you guys to finish this episode

i think it's only appropriate that we sing a little karaoke okay just a little christmas tune and i know it's november bitches but like daddy gang let's have a little fun and let's sing some karaoke and i'm gonna sound like shit next to Kelsey, but just go with God. Okay, let's go. So are we about to actually sing? Yeah. Should we sing together? Yes.

Yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Fa. Jingle bells, jingle all the way. This is so awesome. Follow that horse open sleigh. Hey. Jingle bells and jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun. I have to walk away. I literally have to walk away. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-wheel soapy. It's closing time. They're kicking us out. We gotta go. We gotta go, Megan.

We love you thank you so much I will see you fuckers next time say goodbye Merry Christmas