Call Her Daddy - La La Anthony: Life After Professional Athletes

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

La La Anthony joins Call Her Daddy to talk about her career, how to be a great friend (keep secrets) and how she’s stayed grounded and classy af while navigating a shared life with a professional athlete. La La tells the story of getting a fake ID at 15 years old so she could begin working as an intern in radio. She reflects on her journey from radio personality to MTV host to actress and producer. La La is the ultimate best friend to some of the most famous women in the world, and Alex and La La discuss all things friendship. Should you give your friends the truth even if it hurts? How do you know when it’s time to end a friendship? The duo dive into dating (athletes), love, marriage and divorce. La La opens up about her time as an NBA wife, the sleepless nights and a culture of cheating. She discusses the early days of her marriage, her decision to divorce, her current dating life, and whether she’ll ever date another athlete again.

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy lala welcome to more daddy first of all can we address the glasses okay okay let's talk about so i came in here with glasses on and i I was, oh, you're wearing my stylist hoodie. Local Love Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my stylist. I was like, yes, I love her hoodies and stuff. I honestly woke up this morning and was like, it's raining.

It's a Monday. I need to feel cozy. And then you just walked in, and you were like, let's level that shit up. Can I keep my sunnies on? And I love you because you were like, let's be that shit up. Can I keep my sunnies on? And I love you because you were like, let's keep it. No, no, no, no. I said when I walked in, I was like, if I wear my sunglasses, are people going to be like, where the fuck does this bitch think she's going?

And then you were like, well, I'll wear some too. And I was like, fine. So we're just going to both wear sunglasses the whole interview. And now we're just, we're vibing on a different frequency now. Everything feels a little bit better. The lights are better. No, but it was crazy when we walked in. You said it was so bright. It was crazy. Okay, so we're on a different frequency now. Everything feels a little bit better. The lights are better. It was crazy when we walked in. You said it was so bright. It was crazy. Okay. So we're on a different frequency. So now we're here. Okay, so now I need to introduce you because there's so many things to say about you.

I'll try to keep it short, but you can't. You got your start in radio, obviously. Look how much of a natural. You're like, let me just, let me do the show today. Alex, you can leave. I'll just talk. You're an actress, producer, a New York Times bestselling author, a social justice advocate, best friend to some of the most famous women in the world, and a mother. I kind of want to go back to the beginning a little bit because I think it's helpful

for people to feel extremely connected to your story, right? You start working at 15 years old, your first internship. How the fuck did you get the internship? How did you get your foot in the door? Please tell us the story. Okay. So I, I always love music. That's my thing. I love, love music back in the day, day, day. We're not going to talk about it too much. I thought I was going to be a rapper, but that was like back in the day. So I was like a little something. Oh, my God. No, you'll die. You'll be like, get me out of here now. So I thought I was going to be a rapper.

And so I just love music. And I remember going to the opening of this music store and I saw these people like putting up posters. Remember back in the day, it was different when albums came out, like there would be posters everywhere and stuff everywhere. So I was like, who are these people doing that? And I came up to them. I was like, who are these people doing that? And I came up to them. I was like, who do you guys work for?

What are you doing? Because I thought it looked so cool, especially as a teenager, like 15 years old. So they were like, oh, we work at this radio station and we're interns. But they were like, to be in an internship program, you had to be, I don't remember. I think it was 17 years old. So I was like, oh, yeah, I'm 17. And I just got a fake ID because I live in the hood and I know how to get a fake ID. So I got a fake ID.

And then I got the job as an intern, lying, saying I was older than I really was. But that's the only time, kids, where a lie can work in your favor. And then I just started working at the radio station. And from there, interning, I got on the radio. And then I moved to L. the radio station. And from there, interning, I got on the radio. And then I moved to LA to be on the radio. And then from there, I got my MTV job. And I started hosting TRL, which everyone knows. Started doing that.

I also love how so casually, I think there's so many young women that listen to this show that are like, may currently be an intern. And you just like slid that in. So I went from being an intern, then all of a sudden I'm a radio personality. I'm like, hold on, hold on. You just skipped slid that in. Like, so I went from being an intern, then all of a sudden I'm a radio personality. I'm like, hold on, hold on. You just skipped a huge step. How the fuck did you go from intern, putting posters on the wall, to then being a radio personality? So just working really hard.

Like, I just worked really, really hard at it. And I was like, whatever I do, I don't care if I'm just putting this water here. I'm going to be the best at putting the water here. Like, I'm just going to be great. I just made myself available. I worked really hard. And I had a personality. So they were like, we like your personality.

There's two guys on the radio. At that time, it was Ludacris. But his name back then was Chris Lovalova. So they were like, two guys, him and Poon Daddy, they were like, they need a girl on their show. Nobody wants to hear just two guys going back and forth all day. I was like, I can do it. So at first, and we laughed about it all the time.

They didn't really want me there because they were like, this is our shit. Like, who the fuck are you? But I was like, I'm coming to bring some energy in here and some girly vibes. No, I wasn't intimidated. I was like, I'm here to do this. And then that's how I got on the radio. So shout out to Luda, who I've known've known for since yeah since i was like at that time what 16 maybe okay we all need to have that energy because i'm like oh my god it'd be so

intimidating you're like what the fuck i deserve to be there i had the personality for it even if i was intimidated nobody else was gonna know you're gonna fake it yeah you gotta fake it so you make it even if i felt like that which i'm sure at different times I did I was like this is my way out it was bigger than it was bigger than a job for me it was about survival it was about like having money in my pocket to live like it was deeper than like oh I just want this cool job it was like I need this job so I can afford my apartment so I can get food for myself so I can take care of myself and ultimately take care of my family. Like it was bigger to me. Totally. Like when the purpose is bigger, your drive is different. Yeah. You like you just see straight. Like you can't you don't even look back. You're like, I got to go forward. Exactly. So you're still a teenager. You go to you leave

Atlanta. You go to L.A. I love how you're like 17 at the time. Had you ever been to L.A.? No, I never been to L.A. before before I didn't have money to like travel and do stuff like that I would hear about LA but I had never been there the thing about it is like when I lived in New York I was born and raised in Brooklyn but during this radio time I was in Atlanta my mom had moved us to Atlanta but like

you would hear about LA but it just felt like this distant land somewhere that like yeah I know like famous people live there but it's not a place that you ever thought like you would go to or anything like that. So when I got the job in L.A. because I had sent my radio tape to different places when I got the job in L.A., when I got off the plane, I was my first. I was moving to L.A., getting off the plane. That was my first time being in L.A. Did you know anyone?

No. Were you? Who the hell would I know in L.A.? I didn't talk to people. I was like my circle was New York and L.A. Did you know anyone? No. Who the hell would I know in L.A.? I didn't talk to people. I was like, my circle was New York and Atlanta. Damn. So when do you remember personally being like, this is my big break? Like, I just made it.

I felt like that with L.A. because Atlanta, as big of a market it is, radio-wise, it was a smaller market than L.A. New York is one. L.A. is two. When it comes to radio. So I was like, I'm New York is one LA is two when it comes to radio so I was like I'm about to be in the number two market like this is crazy and when they called me to give me the job they were like well how much money are you making and I remember at that time I was making like no lie I was making like $18,000 a year and I was like um um I I make like $30,000 a year like I just said something and they were like oh well this job is offering like $30,000 a year. Like I just said something.

And they were like, oh, well, this job is offering like $90,000 a year. And I was like, I really was making $18,000. I went from making $18,000 to $90,000. I was like, oh, shit. You're like, you know what? I think I'll take it. I was like, I'm out. But I had to play it cool.

I didn't want to. Because remember, I was already lying. Damn, it's a lot of lying in my story. We're like, Lala, this is literally the whole episode is like, Lala lies,

through and through. I keep lying. I lied about my age. I lied about how much I was making. All good lies. All good. All good lies. All good to get you through the door.

Yes, exactly. A little white lie with that can't hurt anybody. Yeah, so then I got on the radio in LA and then I was on the radio doing really good out there. And then one day, now this day I remember clear.

I walked into the radio station. And the receptionist says to me, somebody from MTV called for you. I was like, call for me? For what? They're like, I don't know. They want to talk to you. And it was like the little post-it with like the number. So I called.

I was like, hey, this is Lala. Like somebody said, you guys looking for me? They were like, yeah, we want to meet to you and it was like the little post-it with like the number so I called I was like hey um this is Lala like somebody said you guys looking for me they were like yeah we want to um meet with you we just heard a lot about you from the radio we've heard you on the radio we thought you're really cool we wanted to see like what you look like and like you know just catch a vibe and they were like you seem like a really cool person I was like thanks like what's happening here so then they were like could you interview somebody for us so we could see, like, how you would interview on camera? But the catch was I had to find the person to interview. I'm like, they're like, you'll have to bring the person to interview. Because they also wanted to see maybe, like, I don't know, maybe my connection.

I don't know. But I was like, all right, cool. So I actually remember I called Tyrese because at that time Tyrese was also doing stuff on MTV, too. So I was like, if I call somebody that's like one of their own, maybe that'll help. So I brought him up there. I interviewed him. They seemed to love it. And then they called me and was like, would you be open to moving to New York to be on MTV?

Dude, it's so crazy because I was talking to Kate earlier. I could take more glasses off for just a second. Okay. I want to see your face. You're like, hello. We're like, okay, now we're like less nervous. I know, I know. Okay, now we're-

While I'm slide to my face 10 times already, we're like, let's just do it. Okay, we're done. We're done. The shtick is over. We're moving forward so we can see each other. Exactly. Hello, bright lights. Okay, Kate and I were talking about TRL.

Yes. other exactly bright lights okay kate and i were talking about trl yes and to the gen zers listening just shut the fuck up for a minute because you need to be humbled and listen to what trl was because i remember i have an older sister and i would she'd be like running home from school like come on alex we gotta go we gotta watch and it was like the biggest thing to watch when you're looking at breakout artists or like christina aguilera coming on and you're just like, holy fucking shit, this was the thing. It was huge for all artists. And then like it was in New York. It was in Times Square.

So everyone in high school at that time wanted to rush to Times Square to stand out there to see like who's going to be in the infamous like window where you would wave from. And you had everybody like you said, Beyonce and then actors, Will Smith would come, Tom Cruise. I mean, at that time in sync and it was like Justin Timberlake and no, it was crazy. That's so cool. I think like hearing about your career

is always incredible to hear, especially from a woman just like battling to get to the top. And like, what's a setback that you remember facing early in your career obviously it wasn't all roses and like get on the flight move to LA get the job happiness and like how did you overcome it well I think a lot of my struggles came coming out of MTV because MTV was so big that you were always told like that's it that's your peak this This is it.

Like it doesn't get any bigger than this. And you would kind of see MTV VJs come and go. And then it would be like, whatever happened to so-and-so? Or they would have these specials like going back down memory lane. And you'd be like, what happened to? And I was like, oh, no. Like after this job, it's not going to just be over for me. Like that's just not going to be the only thing that I'm known for.

So that's when I started pivoting into acting and stuff. And when you're coming off of being a host, it's hard for people to see you as an actor because I was so well known as an MTV host. First of all, there's not a lot of MTV hosts. Secondly, there's definitely not a lot of black MTV hosts. So it was like I was known as, know a black girl on MTV so it was like the acting side didn't really want to give me that shot I think that's a very relatable concept of like people wanting to put things in boxes and you're trying to pivot because you want to pivot and you want to do something different and it's like no, you have to stay in that lane.

I was going to ask, though, like as a woman of color in the industry, especially when you were just starting out and you didn't have this status, did you face discrimination? Well, it was different. It was it was interesting for me because I was at MTV, but all of my friends and people in the business were at BET. And I was like it was like 106 and Park. And then there was like TRL. And I used to feel like I kind of want to be over there. Like that's more my music. That's my culture.

That's who I am. But then I was like, maybe I have a responsibility here to bring my culture, more my music, diversity to MTV and put them on to like these are the songs we're listening to these are the artists that we love let's give them you know a little bit more shine so then I became like empowered to want to do that that's really cool because I feel like a big theme so far already what you're saying is like every time you've walked indoors like you're like no I I'm gonna even if i don't feel it immediately i'm gonna pretend i deserve to be here exactly and it's like a mentality thing

even if you don't feel it all the time which i think is important no matter what you're doing no matter what you're doing just pretend you fucking deserve it and it's even if like on bad days we're all entitled to them we all have them but it's like certain jobs and i hate to say it but certain jobs they don't care about a bad day so it's like fake it fake it fake it then go home talk to your friends your family your therapist whatever you need to do but in that moment like act like you're okay sometimes even when you're not and then deal with it in the moments that you give yourself to deal with it this is a stressful industry to be in and you've got to be on and you've got to be ready have you ever experienced burnout always I'm always burnout I'm always tired and I'm not good at the balance which

that's not a great thing I mean you have to be able to have balance I always feel guilty when I'm like not working or having fun or even on vacation like I just feel like I got more work to do what am I doing Why am I hanging out? Then I'm on Instagram and it seems like everybody's on vacation all the time. I'm like, how the hell do you guys go on this many trips? Like, I don't go anywhere. I'm like, I need to go on more trips. I feel like either one, I feel like I'm always behind when I'm looking at Instagram.

I'm like, wait, like, why do these people know about this thing? Or I'm like, why is everyone relaxing on the beach? Always. Because when I go, I feel like so stressed. But are they actually relaxing on the beach? Because then when you're relaxing on the beach, you're is everyone relaxing on the beach? Because when I go, I feel like so stressed. But are they actually relaxing on the beach? Because then when you're relaxing on the beach, you're not actually relaxed on the beach. You're like, what the fuck is true? What's not?

It's all a facade. It's all an illusion. It is a complete illusion. Before I even obviously met you, I was trying to just get on a phone call with you. Just quickly say hi. And I was like, it's like eight o'clock at night. And they were like, hey, everybody, Lala's like eight o'clock at night and they were like hey everybody uh lala's not available because she's at rikers and i was like holy fuck no i was like that seems

way more important than me just being like hey girl like see you tomorrow like it's just like yeah i was like go fuck myself i'll see you in the studio i really appreciate what you're doing can you explain how you got into it like what are you doing well it's only because you can't for those of you who have never been inside a prison or a jail before, you could not have your cell phone. I need to clarify. I was not mad at you. I was like,

otherwise I would have been like, what's up? You can't have your cell phone, which by the way, you don't realize how hard it is to go eight, nine, 10 hours without your phone. Like,

it's good for me because we're so attached. And I'm like, I realized that this attachment is not healthy. But so, yeah, Rikers, I work a lot in the RNDC building, which is generally 18 to 21. So the younger population. And there was a pastor that was running an initiative called Fatherless No More. His name is Pastor Tim Johnson, who I love. And I sat in on a lot of his

sessions with his group of young men. And from there, I just continue to work with him and, you know, starting to mentor and do my own thing as well. I'm just so passionate about it. I have a 15-year-old. So when I see these young men who are incarcerated, I see my son's face. I see how one bad decision can change your whole life. And sometimes it's just peer pressure, following friends, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. A lot of these kids are amazing, beautiful, I call them kids, but young men that shouldn't be in there, but just environment, upbringing, everything that I feel like I can relate to. So I'm all about second chances and also giving them the tools they need. So when they do reenter into the community, they can be assets instead of, you know, a hindrance to their community. So we work really

hard. It's me, Brittany, my assistant, Brian, we work really, really hard with them. And I don't know, I found like, I've been passionate about a lot of things. I give back in a lot of ways, but this I really feel like is, you know, you feel like this is my calling. This is my passion. There's something about it that it keeps moving me to come back more and more and want to do more. It's really incredible what you're doing. It seems like you're such a good mother. You're a great person and you're a great friend. And I talk about a lot of my podcasts of I have a lot of young women that write in which I'm like I totally feel you on this like friendship it it ebbs and flows it's the some of the most beautiful relationships you can have because you aren't sleeping with this

person hopefully hopefully you never know um but like it's a genuine two-way street and at times it's not always going to be 50 50 maybe you're giving more to your friend they're giving more to you at a time whatever it is but i always like to talk about friendship because i think it's an underrated conversation that fulfills a lot of what you need in your life and it doesn't always have to be romantic romantic and it doesn't have to be family. What qualities do you think about your personality make you a good friend? I think if you were going to ask my friends, they would say like, I'm very caring, loving. I'm a cancer. Like we're super loving.

We're super emotional. We're when we love, we love hard. But I'm also honest, like my thing, even going back to the young man at Rikers, I always say no judgment. I'm not here to judge you. I want to give you real advice, but I'm not here to judge you. And if I say something you might not agree with or don't like, it's not because I'm judging you. I'm just giving you the real. So I think it's the same with my friends.

When they ask me advice, they know I'm going to give them real advice coming from love, not judgment. I don't care what you say you did. I've heard it all. I've heard it all. I've seen it all. Nothing surprises me anymore. But I'm just like, yo, you got to. No, you can't do that. You know, whatever.

And just honest. And they know it's going to be out of love. And I think that's it. But also, you know, keep everyone's information, life secrets safe. Like, you've never heard of me being involved in anything with like any messiness or whatever when people trust you with things you have to honor that and take that seriously and I definitely do I really respect that because I think some people can't take the honesty and I feel like a lot of times I'm similar in friendships where I'm like

I know this is gonna upset you but do you want me to lie to you? I'd be like, sweetie, you're totally in the right. You're fine. That's not me being a good friend. And I feel like it's good sometimes to have people around like you being like, you can cry and I'll hold you while you cry, but it's going to be from the information I'm about to tell you, but it's just me being honest. And I don't see why, I don't know. I think it's like, look inward if you don't want people to tell you the truth because it's like work on yourself it's not your friend it's actually you not being able to take the heat and I'm also not like I'm competitive like but not meaning I don't want what you have I know what's for me is for me that's also the issue with a lot of friendships

and stuff it's like competition or jealousy like I think there's enough for everyone. Like, what I'm doing is not going to be the same as what you're doing. Or if we do the same thing, how you do it, how I do it is going to be different. Like, I don't get involved in that. I want all of my friends and anyone I care about to win. I want to see everybody do good. I'm like cheerleading from the sidelines for everybody. And I know, you know, what's for me will come. And what's great about my friendships is everyone kind of empowers each other I have friends that are like oh you're working on this I actually know someone that did that let me call them and tell them you're doing it or let me call them and tell them to look out for you whatever and that's how it is it's not like oh I'm not gonna give her the number or the secret like I don't want her to know like that's not how my

friendships are everyone's gonna have their successful moments and everyone's going to have the lulls where they're down on themselves. And it's like, why hold any of your friends back? If anything, it's great to surround yourself with people that are thriving and succeeding rather than feeling like jealous. Right. I love that. How do you know when it's time to end a friendship? Oh, I think that you'll know when it's, you know, I think it's time to end a friendship when it's no longer making you feel good. I think it's the same thing with a relationship.

A friendship is a relationship. Like when it's no longer making you feel good and it's causing you stress and agony and sadness, then it's time to let it go. Like the world right now is stressful enough. Day-to-day life in this world is stressful enough. So your friendships, your relationships, anyone in your life should be adding positivity. Not saying again that they're not going to tell you what you want to hear. Like it shouldn't just be like, you're great, you're great, you're great, you're great and not being honest with you. But when you feel like, you know, when the phone rings

and you look and you're just like, oh, what now? Or this is going to drain me or what's going to happen here? That's when you got to start reevaluating. I agree. And I think there's moments where every friendship, if it's a good friendship, you will have hardships. Like that's weird if you've never had a tip like, oh, you're best friends. Well, then is it a real relationship? Because like we're humans. We're going to go through shit. But I appreciate when there's times to work through shit.

And then there's time to be like, this is not healthy and to find that balance. Especially when you start seeing a pattern. If there's a pattern, then you're like, okay, this is who this person is. I might need to exit stage left. When your friends come to you for advice, I'm thinking, I feel like everyone has that person in a friend group.

What are people like, I'm going to Lala for this. What is your go-to? They're looking for guidance. They go to you for? Probably probably relationships and i don't know why i'm not even in a relationship my marriage is my marriage did not succeed i don't know how i'm the relationship expert i always tell i told a friend of mine the other day i go i don't know why everybody wants to ask me about relationships i need to be asking them about i'm not even in a relationship maybe they're like i don't know our shit fucked up so bad we want to make sure that doesn't happen to us

they're like so give us the guideline of what not to do la la no but i think don't be with an athlete no it's a joke just kidding guys just kidding guys no love you all no i love you all too no i've talked so much like healthy I think shit on the athletes I've dated no no no we don't want to talk bad about athletes no no and I think it's actually more which I would like to clarify in the past if I think it's too easy almost as a joke because it is like they're giving it to us at times do you know what I mean yeah and I think that it's one there's times where where it could be maybe a stigma that's not fair. Like I'm sure accountants are cheating. You know what I mean? Like I know our dentists

are getting after it. You just don't hear about it as much. Yes. Yes. Exactly. So I did want to ask you, there is a New York Times article about you from 2011 and you were described as the first lady of the NBA. I'm in the presence of a goddess, okay? The king herself. You were the original NBA couple. Well, we see how that turned out, guys. Lala's like, hold on. They probably won't even let me in games anymore. So there goes your first lady goodbye you were the original are we back are we back for the athlete section we're like hold on let us just tighten up you were the original nba power couple yeah was it hard to have eyes on you during the beginning of your ex-husband's career like all these people interested in your life, et cetera. Yeah, that was hard for us.

That was hard for us. I feel like when we moved to New York, because we came from Denver at the time, we moved to New York. I was from New York. So being back in New York is nothing new. But when we lived here under all of that, that's when things became complicated. I think that was kind of the start. Now that I look back, that was kind of the start of the demise of the marriage.

I dated a New York athlete. And I do remember. I need to Google you later. Don't do that. But I do think that there's something people always say. Like, if you can make it in New York as an athlete, you can make it anywhere. But I think there's also a different connotation of like, yeah, because it's the hardest to deal with. It is the hardest.

And it comes with a lot. With the scrutiny and the media and the press and just everything it is it is really really hard that's not the only reason things didn't work out but things got tough with New York and like you were saying just constantly being under the spotlight people watching every little thing and then you know being in New York I don't know like Denver Like, Denver was so, like, laid back. New York, it's like, I got to get on my grind. Then I started really, like, going to overdrive with my career and wanting things to go that way. So it's like, he's doing his thing, I'm doing mine. And how old were you guys when you met?

How did you meet? So, it's so funny. There was a DJ named DJ Clue. Shout out. Yeah, shout out Clue, who was like like I got this guy who really wants to meet you he's seen you on MTV before and he's 19 years old I was like okay 19 at that time I was what 22 yeah I was just like that's kind of young I mean when you're when you're you know okay what happens is here's how it goes because this is what I'm finding.

I don't understand this. This is how it goes. Okay. When you're younger, you want to date older guys. And I'm not saying when you get older, you want to date younger guys. But when you get older, only younger guys want to date you. It's the wildest thing. Literally, guys will DM me or want to take me out and i'll

google them i'll be like you're 22 years old like what how like how does this work but like so confident so like i want to take you out i don't i i think you're amazing and i'm just like when's what's the cutoff like i don't know the cutoff i'm just saying what is the no it's a real thing but okay but we got to go back we'll get to that yeah because we Like, I don't know the cutoff. I'm just saying, what is the cutoff? No, it's a real thing. But, okay, but we gotta go back. We'll get to that next. Yeah, because we do have But I don't get what this thing is like. No, it's a real thing.

The older you get, the younger the guys get and it's wild. But, okay. So, he was 19 and I was like, cool. And I was like,

I don't want to be with an athlete. Back then, even back then, I was like, I'll never be with, I never, never, never, never, never. Should have listened to myself back then. What was your type of time?

Street guys. Just guys that I probably shouldn't be with either, I'll never be with you. I never, never, never, never, never should have listened to myself back then. What was your type of time? Street guys. Just guys that I probably shouldn't be with either. But that was more my flow. I love a street guy. Back then, not anymore, guys. So I was like, I just don't want to. But we became friends. And that's the thing.

We were friends for a while. And then the friendship turned into more. And we had some great times. I mean, we have a beautiful son, Kyan, who's amazing. Like, it wasn't all bad. Like, we had great, great times. It ended bad. But we're still, you know, friends and we co-parent great.

So it wasn't all bad. And I think that, you know, life is just about lessons and going through different phases. And that was like a phase in my life, a chapter in my life. And now that chapter is over. But it's never really over when you have a kid with somebody what was your biggest misconception about dating an athlete because i was i always like to write my questions and then think well what would the fuck my answer be okay um no misconceptions because everything i thought like you want to be like oh they're not

all like this or all like that like they are they are. And I'm like, check. Check. Check. Because my thought when I was writing that, I was like, okay, my misconception was in the like not committed dating phase, I found that I was stressed always. Like if I don't fly in, like who's he going to be with, whatever. Okay, yeah, I see what you're saying. And then once I was his girlfriend and it was committed, I thought I was like, I'm going to sleep better at night. I'm going to be like- Oh, no, no. I never slept. I thought I was like I'm gonna sleep better at night I'm gonna be like oh no no I never slept I think there I never slept you're like don't get it twisted I

may look amazing but I did not sleep I never you know and I didn't I almost got more stressed yeah once we committed because I felt like oh my god now everyone's coming for me like yeah yeah people are it was just more it was I guess it was my misconception I thought oh lock it down and I'm gonna be I'm sleeping beauty it never ends it never ends and then what you'll find is like I it's so funny I used to think like certain cities I would be like oh those are the problem cities like Miami I'll be like oh I'm definitely not sleeping tonight or I'm gonna figure out a way to get there but here's what i found out dear be careful with these other cities that you think don't have as much going on because those are the ones guys where the shit is going down it's worse i'm like nothing is happening in kentucky or that's how would feel. And those are the nights I would sleep a little.

And all of a sudden you're like, oh, no, there's a whole ass girlfriend there. Miami, it's just like, let's club. Let's go hang out. There is like a whole ass fucking girlfriend. I'm like, have you been here before? Have you been here before? You get it. So, yeah, it is a wild.

I love the sleep concept is a good way to describe it. Yes, it is. You will be sleepless nights. And ladies, we don't need that. And I'm not going to. I can't generalize everyone. I'm just talking about what I went through and people I know. But I'm sure, you know, they're great relationships.

I mean, my best friend is married to an athlete and they have Sierra and Russell, an incredible bond. Something I've never seen before. I'm so happy to even witness it because it makes me feel like, oh, wow, that type of love does exist because I didn't think it did for a long time. I'm like, no way. So it's not across the board. Yeah. But I can only also speak to my totally. what was the culture of the wives and the girlfriends because i remember my experience and since i was a girlfriend people were like well you're not shit and i was like i know like sorry and i thought like at first because there were a couple like head women that were like married that one was so nice to me because she was like i don't

give a fuck about you like you're just here and whatever maybe you won't be the next week or another woman that you don't even know is sitting over there and he's all she's also with him i'm like but then there were some that were like aggressive to let me know like bitch you don't have a ring on your finger you're not shit like what was your experience with well i was a girlfriend for a long time i didn't become a wife till way later so i didn't really experience that. Like you just have the people you gravitate to like you said with you and the people that your cordial with and that's it. So I just found like

my crew, whatever, whoever that was on respective teams are like she's really cool. I want to hang out with her. But I tried to be cool with everybody but there's levels to being cool. Like there's the distant like hey. Then there's the call me later. Then there's the distant like, hey, then there's the call me later. Then there's the I fucking hate him.

I'm coming to spend the night at your house. There's different like levels of cool. So I just try to be, you know, cordial. And then I just had my kind of groups. No, I appreciate you saying that because I eventually found my group. Day one, I was like, hello. I was like, I'm going to go sit with the fans. Like they'll be nicer

and then i think by the i would say like yeah a couple months in i found like my crew of like oh this is my drinking buddy and then i had the woman that was like found out he's like being shady what do i do and so i'm interested to know like do you think there was a culture of like turning a blind eye to cheating within the n NBA or even just in sports in general not for me because when I saw it or found out about it I have to worry about my own relationship then I dealt with it like yeah I can't my shit was falling apart I can't worry about what everybody else has going on like I gotta work I gotta save myself like my relationship you know we're two parents to my son I gotta make sure we're good so that's where my focus was but I never turned a blind eye to it I I adjusted and ultimately

that that was part of the reason why I could no longer be in the relationship yeah how would you handle because I would get like messages this is like therapeutic for me sorry I'm like so how would you deal with this because there's women that would message and it's like sometimes it's not true right and sometimes it's true right and like if you would have women reach out like how did you handle that I think that yes sometimes it's not true sometimes it's true but there's always something inside us that knows like I would see stuff and be like he's not an angel, but no way. But then there will be things that you're just like a little too much information or a little something that you're just like, I don't know.

Like, you kind of feel it. And maybe I wasn't always right, but you just kind of can know. Yeah, your gut. And you got to follow that. Yeah, I think a lot of times my advice to anyone when you get those messages, because social media just, I guess I was going to say fucks all of us. I guess it helps us. Right. Well, it's both.

It's both. Like, let's not publicly let my life be over, but like slide in the DMs and let me know. Like, obviously, there's been situations where people don't need to take it public, but I do appreciate the message. Like, I'm never going to be mad at a woman. But everyone doesn't, though. Some people, like, what do they say um ignorance is bliss like some people like I'm happy how I am like as long as it's not directly affecting me or I don't feel directly disrespected then I'm cool I don't judge anybody everybody has their way but some people don't like if you're having the most

incredible day and your relationship feels great like who wants to go on their dm and just see people that are miserable and want to see these relationships fail be like oh you know i saw your guy the other night doing whatever like some people don't don't want to want to deal with that and i think we're getting to the point now where it's too much access like everyone has something to say about everything everyone feels like they can be anywhere they can see anything like i don't need to know everything that's my point like i don't need to know everything i'm not dumb i'm not naive I don't need to know everything. That's my point. I don't need to know everything. I'm not dumb. I'm not naive.

I don't need to know everything. What I'm supposed to know, I'll find out. But I'm just going to keep living my days, enjoying my life. Not like, okay, so on edge or what today? I don't like feeling on edge. I don't like the feeling of like, oh my God, okay, who's next? What are they saying? I can't deal with that.

That shit will, I'll be a nervous wreck. I don't want to live like that. feeling of like oh my god okay who's what are they saying i i can't i can't deal with that that shit will i'll be a nervous wreck like i don't want to live like do you feel now that you're kind of out of it and again like every relationship has such goods and such bad but even us joking in the beginning of like the sleep i lost right right i do think there's something and i had an insight of like wow like i didn't need to I don't need to feel that way. I don't need to constantly like be calculating like this day they're going here. Like you almost aren't able to completely live your life. Right. If you're constantly trying to track them down and imagine how little they think of you doing it.

They're not stressed. They're there. They are sleeping really well. They don't even need melatonin. They're like, good night. I'm in Miami. So I think there's something of like if you have that feeling ever, it shouldn't be ignored. I know it's hard, but it's just people listening.

I think sometimes when you have that shitty feeling in your stomach and it's constant, it's something I look back and I'm like, I guess I knew. Yeah. You know, and then like there is a piece in like, listen, it's pros and cons and everything. Being single now, yes, do I sleep better and I don't have to worry about somebody cheating on me, do whatever. But then I'm lonely sometimes. Like, I want to be laid up with somebody or I want to worry about if somebody's cheating on me or not. I want to have somebody to be like.

So it's, like, it's pros and cons. Like, when you're in a relationship, you're like, oh, if I was single, it would be so. It's pros and cons to both. My mom always says, and I'm sure she's heard it from a lot of people, but like single people want to be married and married people want to be single. Like you're never fully happy in anything that you're doing. So you just got to figure out your happiness, whether you're in a relationship or out, and realize that the happiness shouldn't revolve only around the relationship. Because if you're like constantly looking for happiness because of your relationship or because of another person, I feel like that's when you'll always be disappointed. in what ways were you intentional about creating and maintaining your own identity a separate from always always I was always like that I mean I had a career before I met him

I was on MTV when I met him so always I always wanted to have my own career or something. Like, even if for people listening, even if it's not a career, a hobby, something you're passionate about, charity, whatever it is, just something that kind of gives you your purpose. Even just whether it's being a parent, whatever it is that you're like, this is what I'm going to give my all to. And this is what I'm going to do just because it's always good to have, you know, your own thing kind of going on. I think it empowers you in a way. I also was just thinking back to something you said about, like, not stressing about what, like, you couldn't worry because, like, you're worried about your relationship. And, like, I think something we should all take. I, like, personally have realized this is, like, I talk into a microphone every week.

And there's some shit that i've said in my past and i'm like fuck like i wish i didn't say that about that person because i feel like recently it's really come to be obvious that like people's relationships fail succeed and and then we watch this influx of people on the internet making these videos of like this is my opinion on it right and what I think we all know, if you look inside of your relationships, no one fucking knows what's inside and going on.

And everyone will tell you, excuse me, everyone will say what they'll do until they're in the situation. That's why it's all bullshit. When you're not in a situation, you can hyper analyze, you can this, you can that. Oh, if I was her, I would do this. Until you're there, then it's a whole different ballgame.

So I don't feed into any of that, and I don't ever want to be that person for someone else's relationship. I always say whatever you decide, I will support you. This is my advice and opinion on it as someone who's been there. But whatever you want to do, I support you. And I just leave it at that. Someone needs to come to a conclusion on their own. And if anything, they're going to resent you as a friend if you told them to leave they're going to resent anyone but themselves and it's like let them do their thing because timing for people is so different right and so i don't know i just think everyone listening like i hold myself accountable of like

saying dumb shit about like celebrities in the past like what like as if i knew like just shut the fuck up and because if someone did that about my relationship like you guys have no idea so i think it's just a good wake-up call we have too much access to give our opinion on stuff write it in your group chat exactly write it in the goddamn group and a lot of times people give an opinion because it makes them feel better about their situation absolutely like oh they're just like me or she's not all that or whatever it is like no they get like happiness out of seeing someone else being miserable. And that's just that's definitely not the kind of person I am.

I would love to hear just your opinion on how you know when you're ready to end something, because I think ending a relationship is so fucking hard. You ended your marriage. Like, how did you know it was time? Same thing kind of what i said about the friendship when i was no longer feeling great about it sad every day crying like just feeling somewhat lost not feeling loved the right way i'm like this i don't want this to be for the rest of my life and i don't want my son i have to be an example to my son seeing me you know sad or whatever like i didn't want that and I was like this is just not feeling good anymore and there was a lot of things that had been done and I was just like

I gotta move on from this do you think that if you weren't in the public eye would you have handled the situation at all differently? I would have still made the same decision, but it would have been less maybe pressure or less eyes on me, like, what's she going to do? People are saying this, and is this true or whatever it is. I think it would have been less pressure maybe, but I do think I still would have came to the same conclusion because some boundaries were crossed that I just couldn't.

What's something that you've learned about yourself since the divorce? I learned how strong I am. Like you said, when you hear friends going through stuff, it's like, I'm never going to make it through. I'm never going to survive. And then all of a sudden you wake up and you're like, wait, I'm actually surviving. Like, and I'm not saying it's not hard. Like I say it all the time that there's still very difficult moments.

It's not one of those things where it's just ever just like super easy because again there's a child involved you know my son so but you just find yourself getting stronger and stronger and it's like what do they say like you don't know how strong you are until being strong is your only option like what is gonna do die like I had to keep pushing on and then every day like a little bit stronger a little bit stronger a little bit stronger, a little bit stronger, a little bit stronger until you're finally like, wow, I can do this. Well, I really respect that, too, because I think, listen, when you're betrayed or burned, like it's so fucking hard not to be petty.

And it is like, oh, motherfucker, you don't even know who you're messing with. And I think that I'm sure like I really respect that you have that outlook of like I have a son right and it's like that holds you almost probably accountable to be like yeah and then I don't want to do something and look back like you said and be like why did I do that or it wasn't even worth it it made me feel good in that moment like the people who need to don't know and that's it that's it for me like I don't have to put people on blast or make people feel like shit. Obviously, what happened was bad enough. I don't need to add anything else.

Has your view of love changed? Yes, it has. And I hate to say that. I hate that that's what happened. But it has. And I'll have my friends like, you can't say that. I'm just like, love. I just don't know if it's in the cards for me. And they're like, why would you say that? I don't I'm just like what do you say like I just don't know if it's in the cards

for me and they're like why would you say that you can't I've said it before like you can't say that but it's like I don't know that's how you feel you just feel like I don't even want to do this shit again or like let's just be friends forever like once you start going to a different place it gets so complicated but I do think there's power in words and you have to manifest what you want so me being negative about it is not good so i'm working on saying like you know what's meant for me will be and someone's gonna buy me one day and love me the right way can we agree that i actually fucking hate when i go through a breakup and my friends are like you're now gonna get to find the love of your life oh yeah no no i don't like that no no i'm depressed i'm sad i'm mourning and you should be and you should

you should be okay with that like i'm like that too because i was like and i was like that's just not what i want to hear right now maybe eventually but right now i just want you to be like yeah fuck everybody i hate everyone like just be in this moment with me right now. Tomorrow we can talk about something different. But right now, let's just have this moment. I don't need the hype up. Put on the sad music. Let's sob.

I wanted to be depressed. I want to have a pity party for a long minute. I think everyone should have a day or two of that. You deserve that. But then it's like, all right, snap out of it now. But I do think there's a good thing of like, it would be unrealistic for you to immediately be like, oh, I'm great. I am.

Because that means you're really don't really feel that. Exactly. So it's helpful, I think, to keep it realistic. Like you said, you are honest with your friends. Maybe you're being a little too honest with yourself. You're like, love doesn't exist. Everybody, fuck love. We're all alone in this world.

Even if you think they love you they don't but i'm so happy for you you found the one i do appreciate i appreciate your realness with it because it's like i hate when it's just the upside and the positive but you know what it is i realize everyone's take on that is going to be based on experience so if you had a great experience and you're in a relationship when i'm in a relationship you can't tell me anything i'm like what what do you mean relationships are the best like what are you talking about and then when it's done like fuck everybody so it's like it just depends on where that person you're talking to is at in their life now or not and i respect everyone in different phases of their life. I have friends that are happily married, you know, whether it's Sierra, Kelly, like very happily married.

And I look at that and I'm like, wow, I want that. I would love to have that. Then I have friends that are single like myself and live in life or friends that just got out of relationships. Like everybody's at different phases. I'm going to have you on in like two years and you're like, I've literally never been more in love. Like life is so good. And you're going to be like hearts in the eyes and like relationships are for everyone. And you guys can definitely find them.

It's like you're right. It changes. It changes. Right now. We're like right now. I'm just no fuck that. Are you dating? Not really.

To be honest, like people think People think I'm just out here. I know you can have anyone you want and you're doing this and that. Not really because the guys that are trying to talk to me are 21 and 22 years old. Let's talk about that because shout out to my spray tan woman. You're the most amazing woman, Brittany. God bless you. And she was telling me how everyone younger is coming after her she's like do i have a sign on my head like but what she thought was interesting was she was like i have these guys that are my age

that like aren't really fucking doing it for me and putting in the work and this 22 year old is like let me fly you out let me buy you dinner she's like can you afford to fly me out like what the fuck is going on but she was like it's crazy they're just coming after me yeah but maybe it's a good feeling for a second no it's a good feeling i mean look i it's i i honestly i don't know i'm gonna be i'm telling you i don't know anything about relationships anymore i am done giving relationship advice even to myself i don't know what i do know is i'm going with the flow like i'm not dating anyone currently i'm not anything serious currently but if someone wants to take me out and I'm like all right cool I'm not just gonna say before I would be like no like what's the angle what's this I'm

trying to be like more open about it and whatever happens happens how do you deal with like a date like would you go to a pub like you can't go to a public joint well it depends like if you go to a pub? Like, you can't go to a public joint. Well, it depends. Like. If you want to be seen with them. I mean, it just kind of depends. Like, I don't know. At first, I wouldn't want to be, like, out too public because you want to feel it out first and make sure. But friendships are friendships. Like, I'm allowed to be friends with people. Like, and girls and guys can go out and it could be platonic or you could just begin to know somebody.

Like, everything is not so heavy. And, like, if you don't go to public place, then where do you go? Come to my house? Come to the hotel room? That, to me, that's even more heavy. Like... No, no, no. That is a...

Right. So it's like for the first date, like, meet me at the hotel room so no one sees us. It's kind of like... This is sketch. Yeah. Like, what tone are you setting? I don't know. I don't know.

I told you, I don't know. I'm't know. I told you, I don't know. No, I'm just going with the flow. But I appreciate it. And everybody's different. Like, you can meet somebody and be like, all right, I'm cool going out to whatever restaurant with this person. And you might not even know why. It's just a feeling you have.

Then you can meet somebody else and be like, oh, no, I don't want nobody to see us out. Like, I don't know. It's just a feeling. It's not like a, what I'm saying is not a one size fits all would you ever date an athlete again would I date an athlete again I don't know

I don't probably not a basketball player probably not a basketball player football let's go here we go that that is fun not basketball probably not i mean i don't know but probably not basketball and football is i look at me like already wait i'm like do you have somebody because you're so you got so excited i'm like what's going

on like the schedule's better less less sleepless night is that a world that you're familiar with? No, no, but I'm just thinking for you. I want you to find love. I don't have anyone for you. But if I do, I'll fucking text you and be like, I got this. I got this. But I do think there's something about, yeah, we're done with the NBA. But, you know, other sports we could entertain. Exactly.

Are you on dating apps? No, I'm not on dating apps. Although I have a lot of friends on raya and this and that and they love it and they're dating I don't I haven't got there yet again no judgment is working for a lot of people I know as a matter of fact my dad married the woman he met on a dating app so I've seen where it can work like my dad married her from plentyoffish.com which I was told was the app specifically for something else. Think sex. But they hit it off and they got married.

So I know it can work. I just haven't ventured there yet. Okay, that's fair. Would you let your friend set you up with someone? 100%. Do you trust them? Yes, that's the best way because I feel like my friend knows me,

knows what I like. That's the best way. I think getting hooked up with somebody like that is the best way. Friends being like, hey, I'm bringing so-and-so. Or you got to meet La. You would love her or whatever like that is the best way. Like friends being like, hey, I'm bringing so-and-so. Or you got to meet La. Like you would love her or whatever.

Like that's the best way. What friend do you think would know your type the most? And like you're like, okay, I dressed you. All of them. But I think all of them. But Kim would be really good at that. All of them. But she would be good at that.

Also because she's single now too. So it's like it's different. Like, you know, we can talk a little bit more about like, what do we like? What do we not like? Like, what are we looking for?

What are we not looking for? Like it's different. I think it's good to have a friend like that. So knows you because I also feel like Kim's the type of person that like, she's like, let me do the work for you. Then you just show up at the date. I'm going to do a whole background check.

Just sit down, sweetie. And you can count on me that they will be the right person for you. You're like, thanks, Kim. kim um what is something after like everything you've been through what is like a non-negotiable that you've learned about yourself that you're like i have to have this in a relationship and like i can't also deal with that in a relationship for your next i think i definitely have to have like a family element, meaning someone that's into family, loves like hanging out with fam. That's like important to me.

Someone that laughs like I want to have fun. I want to like laugh like the world is so serious. Like I just want to laugh and have a good time. That's important to me. And then like something I won't tolerate. I won't tolerate lying like liars. I'm just like no matter what it is, I respect you more if you're just honest and tell me I could deal with that.

But the lying shit like I can't I just can't take it. As we wrap up, I think that like you've been through so much relationships, career, your life. What is something that you like wish you could tell your younger self? Like if you had a second to be like, oh, my God, wait, I've gone through all these experiences. I lived life. What would you tell your younger self like if you had a second to be like oh my god wait I've gone through all these experiences I've lived life what would you tell your younger self that no matter what you do everyone's not gonna like you like I'm such a people pleaser I'm a cancer I keep saying that so like we love people we want to be loved by everybody and it's like why don't you not like me you don't even know me like I stopped I stopped caring about that like

no matter what I do people are gonna have something to say about it all the good I do something's gonna be said whatever I wear something's gonna be said it doesn't matter it's just like what it is and you have to realize that no matter what you do you can't please everybody you have to like find your own happiness and please yourself and it sounds like so cheesy but it's just so true because like especially with Instagram and all the social media it's like you look at what people are saying and you're like, well, why are they saying that? They don't even know me or why don't they just ask me instead of just trying to put some shit on blast on the Internet? But you just realize that it doesn't matter.

It's always going to happen. So you have to find your own happiness. Amen. And scene. You're amazing. And it was really cool to get to feel your personality. Yeah, I'm so glad we did this. So good.

So the Daddy Gang is going to love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I to like get to feel your personality so good so the daddy gang is gonna love you thank you thank you thank you i can't wait to watch your dad yeah and find me a man goodbye so the nfl player i was talking about