Call Her Daddy - Madeline Argy: My Breakup Story

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

Join Alex and Madeline Argy in NYC for a hilarious and chaotic 48-hour adventure. For the first time ever, Madeline opens up about her recent break-up with a very well-known ex and reveals why she had no choice but to end the relationship. Madeline also discusses her childhood: repairing broken family relationships, navigating her mother’s disability, and overcoming years of bullying. And of course, it wouldn’t be Madeline Argy without some insane stories. From gangrene nipples, to shaving her head - this episode will have you cracking up. Madeline also gets real about her journey with sexuality and exploring her first relationship with a man. She reflects on the pressures of labeling herself and how she’s so over caring what other people think of her. Get ready for great conversations, hilarious stories, and to experience life from Madeline’s POV.

Daddy gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. Fuck, hold on. Sorry, I usually have this on silent. Let me take this, this might be an emergency. Hello? Hi Alex, my flight back to London got cancelled and I'm stranded in New York. Do you know anyone here I can hang out with? I have so much time to kill. You're in New York City right now? Yes, Mad yes madeline yes i've got you i mean i guess it's fine don't stress i can just stay in and watch movies no no no i you're not watching a actually a movie i have an idea stay put do not move

daddy gang little turn of events this was supposed to be a solo episode, but do you remember when I said we're ramping it up for season four that we're going to get to know people even more, which sometimes means I need to get my ass out of this chair and leave the studio? Well, Madeline Argy just called and she's currently stuck in New York City, which weirdly works out. I don't see Madeline often because she lives in the UK. I live in LA. But what's in the middle of those two? New York fucking city.

I remember the first time that I came across Madeline's content. I was scrolling on TikTok and I was watching all the good videos. You know, I'm watching someone make a tuna casserole. I'm watching dog videos. I'm watching girls shake their tits. And then I come across this girl telling a really riveting story about giving herself a colonoscopy. And in that moment, I fell in love with Madeline and you are about to fall in love with Madeline

as well hi guys hi guys hey guys hey um here's the deal i just thought maybe we could chat 927 million 207 000 that's how many views this 22 year old girl has amassed in only two years on the platform i just gave myself a fucking at home colonoscopy madeline argy gets on this app every day and tells the most vile disgusting story gangrene in one of my these bitches could literally show you little bitches how i do my eyelashes and we will smash that like button so fast oh my god i hope you recovered from miami and you're well rested i'm fucking not i'm still hungover it is time to get up and do it again, Daddy Gang, apparently.

Because guess what? We're going to New York. So, Madeline RG, I hope you're ready. Welcome to Call Her Daddy. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Alex? What is going on? You said that you wanted to have a movie night. I got you. hey how was your night last night madeline pretty good how was your night last night alex pretty

good are you hung over a little bit you hungover? A little bit. What about you? Just a little bit. We may need a little hair of the dog. I think so. Did you have fun? I had a lot of fun. You did?

It doesn't look like that in the photos. Let's talk about it. Madeline, talk to me about the photos. That's just my face. I don't know. I was having such a good time but I either look terrified or like I'm grieving guys last night we went to the premiere of my fiance's movie love at first sight and did you like the movie oh my god it was so good I was about to

say you can't say it was shit you're obviously gonna say it was good no i was bored out my mind i'm gonna be really honest i can't see anything neither can i so maybe we should dine on our date and actually be able to make eye contact okay okay i'll take mine off if you take yours off okay oh my god it's so much better i know you like to be pretty lonesome that's why i booked this entire restaurant just for the two of us. Yeah, I thought it was a bit intense for a first date. Oh, I thought you were going to thank me. I'll thank you later. Would you consider yourself an introvert?

Can you not tell from the videos last night? People always think I'm having a bad time. And it makes me feel bad because they'll come up to me. Like, Alex, the majority of people that came up to me last night were like are you okay I was like I'm fine doesn't that make it worse though makes it way worse like why are you asking something I get it if you're like sobbing in the corner but like if someone's not directly talking to me I'm this is my face because what am I what else am I gonna do right just like the corner just smiling can you talk to me a little bit about your family in my house it's me my mom and my sister I mean it was obviously not anymore

and my dad left when I was like six and married the woman he's still with now she has two kids that I don't really know um even though we technically grew up together I swear I've had three conversations with them in my entire life how was it explained to you when your dad left okay so actually kind of embarrassing I didn't understand and like I didn't say that I didn't understand so no one thought to clear things up with me I thought he was going on vacation and then after like six months I was like where the fuck is dad and yeah he never came back I was like what the hell but we didn't see him, he never came back. I was like, what the hell? But we didn't see him for like ages after he left.

Not ages, but like a considerable amount of time after he left. So I was like, yeah, he's in Australia on vacation. I don't know where I even got Australia from. I was like, yeah, he's gone. You're like, where do people go on vacation? Dad's definitely in Australia. Did you ever have like a conversation with your dad? Did you ever close things out?

Like what's your relationship like with him now? Me and my dad have had like a bit of a crazy ride with our relationship we're so similar and I'm now realizing that like now we have a pretty good relationship but when I was younger like I didn't want to go to his house on the weekends it's where I started getting panic attacks and like because I think I was just too young and like I'm a big mommy's girl like I need to be with my mommy still now so I basically just asked my mom if I could stop visiting him and like I just stopped visiting him and like he didn't really protest it I definitely didn't protest it and then I had like virtually no relationship with him for like years until I got a little bit older and was like okay

I understand who he is as a person and like I would like a relationship with him that's like stronger so I kind of made more effort which I think was like what the relationship needed which obviously I couldn't offer when I was like seven but that is interesting to hear like you are the one that reached out because I'm sure like there's a lot of people that listen that are like maybe have kind of a broken relationship with a parent and don't know how to repair it like did you just like wake up one day and you were like I'm gonna do this or was it kind of like on your mind for a while it was on my mind for a while and then I think I got a really good therapist who explained something to me about why I am the way I am in and it literally changed my whole perspective on myself could you share it with us he basically

was like I think that you were just a very intuitive child because I was like why am I like feeling so many things and my sister's not I was like why did my childhood affect me like this and not my sister I was like confused so he was like I think you were a very intuitive child and you were picking up on things that weren't like an adult wouldn't think you were seeing or feeling and it stressed you out and then it gave you all these like emotions that you had and it affected your relationship with your parents but they didn't understand why because they didn't think you were like privy to this situation oh interesting and so then I kind of was like okay and I started to think about it in the context of like my relationship with my dad just gaining perspective that you gain with like a bit of age and I was like okay like now that I

understand myself a bit and why I felt like that and I kind of see where he's coming from and why maybe he did certain things and why he is the way he is yeah and then I was kind of just like he's a nice guy like I don't need to feel like this weird anger or like resentment that I had felt as a kid because like I didn't understand my emotions so I think he's always kind of made an effort to have a relationship like he'll invite me over for dinner and stuff. And like now I make sure I go like at least every couple months and see them and sit down and have a meal. Talking kind of about like you when you would go to your dad's house and you would get panic attacks. What was your situation like in school?

Like were you able to have like a normal school experience? What was that like? I have not had a normal school experience what was that like I have not had a normal school experience I found documents and no one will explain them to me that said that I was in like therapy from like six years old or five years old and I'm like why was I there I don't remember going but like I think I've had issues since fucking birth. And also I was in special education classes until like year four, which is like third grade, because everyone thought I was completely illiterate because I was so shy that I was a selective mute. And so my teachers were like, oh, my God, this bitch, like she can't do anything.

She can't read. She can't write. She can't do math. She can't talk. She's way behind developmentally. And then I would come home and I'd be like reading novels to my mom like writing sonnets so when my mom heard from the school that I was like in these classes she was like what the fuck she's like wait Madeline is actually really smart why is she getting held back and they're like she doesn't speak we oh that's so interesting did you have friends in school had one friend and I would whisper things to her and then she would tell my teacher what I wanted to say so like I was like seriously shy I remember at preschool I knew one of my preschool teachers for like when I was an adult and she told me this

story that I like wouldn't look at anyone I wouldn't speak I wouldn't hold anyone's hand I wouldn't take drinks I wouldn't eat food like couldn't do anything and apparently one day I like reached up and I like wrapped my whole hand around one of her fingers to like hold her hand and she just looked down and was like like it was like the biggest honor that I'd actually like felt confident enough to hold her hand but also I didn't know how to hold hands because my mom's disabled and so I would hold her fingers so I like held this woman's finger thinking like this is how you hold hands wait stop the woman's literally like finally like she she's not speaking but she's at least like

touching me can you talk a little bit about your mom are you comfortable with that just so people have context of just like growing up in her situation and everything so my mom is disabled she is a thalidomide baby it was a morning sickness pill given to women in the 60s so my grandma took it whilst pregnant with my mom and it stopped the fetus growing the day it was taken basically so some people with thalidomide are really really affected like no eyes no ears no limbs brain damage and then the other end of the spectrum is like you miss a finger or you miss an ear like it can be really minor or really severe so my mom kind of sits in the middle. So it's her arms and her neck that are affected. All of them have kind of slight shoulders. She has arms down to like your elbow.

So she has like a forearm and then deformed hands. And she has definitely not 10 fingers. I couldn't tell you. But some of them are stuck together. And then her hands are like not regular hands um so but she's very like my whole life growing up like I never thought like oh my mom's disabled I thought it was so cool because like she came into my primary school when I joined and like basically introduced herself so none of the kids would like say anything or like stare and like did like a whole like I'm this person and this is my situation and then she would like

help out in my class so all my friends knew her and no one thought it was weird or anything which definitely was like a good thing that she did because kids can be horrible but no one's never in my life has anyone said anything mean to me about my mom like she handles herself so brilliantly and like has always taken time to like introduce herself. Have you learned anything from just like watching your mom just like be such like a strong force in your life and like going through what she's gone through? Like how has that affected you? I think my therapist has actually been bothering me about this lately. He's like, I think your mom has a huge influence on like why you do what you do and why you are the way you are and I'm kind of starting

to agree with him because at first I was like no but then I was like okay maybe my mother does have some effect on how I am she's kind of a big role in my life I think so Madeline yeah I'm interested also to know like aside from family like friendships your whole life like how have you have you had a lot of friends what have your friendships been like no I I had like I've always been one of those girls that has like close friendships but not like many many friendships so growing up I had like my one best friend and then when I so I left my primary school when I was seven because I was a bit of a mess I was having panic attacks I was

getting bullied so my mom pulled me out of that school and put me into a different school which was a very different school like it was um I don't know if anyone's gonna know what this is it was Montessori which is like a it's it's like a theory of the way you raise a kid and you don't start teaching them anything until they're losing teeth there's something like but i've been in a normal school so i was like why are all these kids fucking stupid and why am i coloring in like this is ridiculous so i just was like i hate it here and i was not a very nice student got kicked out why because i was acting out i kind of orchestrated a few riots and classic in the montessori school madeline's like i was concocting the biggest plan to get the fuck out of that shithole it really was they gave me a scar that i have down my cheek i don't know if

you can see it why right because like we were in the woods it was like you know those wilderness therapy videos that you see on tiktok just like people with horror stories yeah we weren't far off like they would put us to work on the farm we built the school from the ground up by the way there was no physical school when i enrolled there we built it in the winter wait what you enrolled i feel like i've not given enough context i've just thrown that at you this is so genius you enrolled in a school that didn't exist and on the first day of school they're like build it what is that an actual thing so you were out there building bro it was so weird and i remember they would make us like chop down trees and i put an axe into my knee and the sound will never leave my brain like the sound that it made i was like why have you given a six-year-old an axe and just go like you holding an axe at six like I'm not big now I wasn't big at six like wielding

try this sounds literally like a movie I'm like picturing you like in the wilderness like chopping down the tree the worst part is is I got my ass kicked out before they finished construction I never even got to reap like the fruits of my labor I never got to sit in the school so you were just constantly creating like like big bombs in moments to just like rattle the teacher so you could get the fuck out yeah one time I've said this before I got everyone to take their pants off except no maybe I took mine off too but like everything off like we were all in the woods and I was like right one two three pull them down and then the teacher like came around the corner Maybe I took mine off too. But like everything off. Like we were all in the woods. And I was like, right, one, two, three.

Pull them down. And then the teacher like came around the corner. And they like pulled me away like by the skin of my neck. Because they like knew it was me. I was probably like in the middle of the circle. Like, yes. Madeline with her full VL. In the middle of the woods.

What was going through your head to like make that decision like what was going on well i'm pretty sure that this boy came up to me and he said like i'll show you if you show me and i was like okay but wait like i see your vision like let's make it 10 times bigger like production value i was like hey get everyone and like everyone was the same age so i was like right guys come on and like so a boy wanted to see your vagina and you were like i love that timmy but let's ramp it up 5 000 notches let's get every girl and guy to just whip it out so we can really size each other up freestyle and the teacher's like madeline that's genius thank you and from what i'm hearing is like you are too smart to be at some of these schools but because of you being so shy and like in certain moments in your other schools they were

like put her in this other school so you were like i'm fucking bored well no like i don't think it was because i was shy i think it was because i was like getting bullied my teacher was really literally nothing this oh my god this girl had no reason to come for me I didn't really have any friends that year because my previous best friend had like kind of found another girl to hang out with and I like didn't get on with the other girl and I was like a little bit alone I wasn't understanding my classes I was like really shy and this girl would just like pick at me and pick at me and pick at me and the worst part is is I told my mom about it because I'd seen those posters around like getting bullied tell an adult and I was like okay I have to tell an adult

and I remember like going home I was so scared I felt like I was telling her I was pregnant I was like mommy I'm getting bullied and she was like and so she finds out by who, and it's like not a surprise because this girl's like not nice, whatever, like she doesn't have a good reputation and whatever. She pulls me out of the school because they don't do anything to help.

I'm not having a good time. We go to the different school. Years go by and it's like college and this girl is there and we have some mutual friends and we're talking talking talking and it comes out that I bullied her and I was like what defamation of character is this because

I never like first of all I didn't speak words how am I gonna bully you literally like I'm mute bitch so try again and I was like oh my god like if any of these people had gone to my primary school they would immediately be like absolutely the fuck not did she bully anybody let alone you like you were a scary kid in primary like this was like the shortest tiniest most pathetic looking kid like she wasn't bullying anyone she did not have the stature for it and she like accused me she was like no you bullied me and i was like i low-key actually believe that you believe that because i agree right the delusion the delusion if you get told the narrative especially from your parents from a young age

that like someone it wasn't your fault someone was mean to you like i'm sure she actually thinks that i agree keeps me up at night but i love it because you actually have the street cred to be like i didn't even talk right so how the fuck could I be a little shit? Wow, Madeline, this is good story time. Thanks. As an adult, though, it is really fucking hard to make friends. I feel like in moments, how do you make friends? Like, what's your strategy?

I don't have a strategy. I think have sex with them if you have to. Madeline! Madeline! I need to know how many of your friends have you had sex with? Be honest right now. Don't lie to my face. No, but okay.

Listen, listen, listen. Too many or two? No, no. Too many. Listen, listen. So the thing about like liking girls is you'll go on dates and you'll hit it off. Yeah. Be like, I don't really want to have sex with you.

Suddenly you have a new friend the amount of my friends like i would go on a date maybe sleep with them and then we'd both be like yeah we didn't like that but i like you but like i don't want to sleep with you again but that was fun and then friendship and then some that's some of the funniest friendships after we were just getting on and then give a fuck like i wouldn't do it with a guy because i feel like it's a different vibe but with girls like you can just be friends the vibes yeah that's kind of nice i love it like it's a really that if if you're like a queer woman that's how you make friends in your 20s go down on them and then be like okay we didn't love it but like let's hang out right let's be friends yeah easy great advice from madeline just hook up with your friend basically that you find go on a date have sex and then be like let's just be friends yeah the wise words of madeline archie

thank you thank you cheers Cheers. Cheers. How's yours? Yummy. How's yours? Yummy. Okay, let's do a little role playing. Sexy. So sexy.

Okay, you're stuck in a corner with someone that you don't know at a party, okay? And you have to make conversation. There's absolutely no avoiding it. What are you going to talk about with them, Madeline? Alex, I have no fear to sit there in silence and make someone uncomfortable. I'm not scared of that. I kind of love that. I do. I don't care. I mean, if I, for some reason, I'm in one of those moods where I want to talk, I don't know.

I'll probably just non-consensually tell them about my day. I think I'm going to take that motto with you because I have the opposite problem where like I can't help but try to make everyone feel like everything is so like no one is feeling awkward like I'm gonna make everyone feel super confident comfortable let's just talk so if there's an awkward moment I'm always gonna try to like jump in and like talk and just like ice break and next time I'm gonna just like shut my fucking mouth see what happens yeah I bet I'll be a lot happier I'll be way less exhausted but you're so good at like putting people at ease and just like getting a conversation going I appreciate that I would

hope sometimes I like don't know if it's working so I'm just like well you kind of have to be good at it exactly like I gotta talk to people for a living like I hope I make you feel comfortable and you're not uncomfortable right yeah no I'm miserable I figured this is like pretty awful right it's terrible like we're not having a good time we're not having a good time at all next role play yeah it's getting steamy there is a guy over there at the bar let's pretend okay I'm super into him I'm too nervous to go over. I need you to be my wing woman. You're going to get my foot in the door.

You're going to go over there. What are you going to say? Have you spoken to him yet? No. Just been eye fucking him over here like a weirdo. Madeline, go. Get me in. Say something for me.

Oh, my God. I don't know. Never. I've known ever asked me to do that. I'm asking you right now. Life is on the right now engagement ring away i need that man over there what okay i have some cash what maybe pay him off please uh she's just thrown her engagement ring out the window i don't want to do that she won't leave please go talk to my desperate fucking friend the fact that the first thing that comes to your mind is i'm gonna pay this man off for you alex honestly that's kind of like in a comedic way not a bad idea to be like yo my friend like really wants to talk to you i'll give you 20 bucks to go

talk to her yeah oh wow good to know if you're friends with madeline she's fully gonna whore you out and just pay your way to whatever you want thank you daddy warbucks wow it's like that hungover food i needed uh-huh oh fuck i spilled on my shot you did okay it's okay i know a place that we can go okay perfect it's still open this is a place that we can go. Okay, perfect. It's still open. This is my favorite New York City laundromat. Twist. Okay, you do it. You do it.

Great. Wait, why did you change your shirt? Well, I... I... I don't know. I just love New York. Do you think your shirt's almost done? I don't know. Probably not. Okay. You know, one time I got my nipple pierced at this really sketchy place and, like, it literally doubled in size and started, like, oozing goo.

So then what happened? Well, it still looks really bad. Wait, which one is it? Oh my god. Yeah. What did it look like? Is that disgusting to ask? No, I will divulge. So it had two holes either side where the bar had gone in and it was oozing out of those and then all of your like breast milk holes. So what ended up happening? are you laughing it's so sensitive the hell like opening up

no wait why didn't you go to the hospital i couldn't be bothered you couldn't be bothered going to the hospital so now is your nipple just fucked yes it is but it's like a different shape to the other one but i think it's mostly gone down to its original size i feel like when i was growing up my mom would tell me like it builds character to have something like that happen to you and like maybe they look different but that's good you're unique is that how you look at it no because you know what and i agree with your mother but i was born as god's favorite and i had perfectly symmetrical even tits oh great nipples even just like who has that who has like perfectly symmetrical tits? No one except for Madeline Argy apparently.

No one except for me. Like overall experience of getting gangrene on your nipple, like what would you rate it one out of ten for like hard difficult time in your life? Like a six. Why are you laughing again? I just told you it was like the sixth hardest time of my life. I really will say thank you for opening up and telling me about your experience with your nipple. I feel like we got closer. Yeah. I'm gonna go see if my shirt's still on. Okay, yeah. Why is your shirt so big?

Shut up! Why is yours so small, you little slut? You bought it for me. Oh, fuck. LAUGHTER guten tag good morning daddy. It is the morning. I am on my way right now to pick up Madeline at her hotel. You know, Madeline and I, I love hanging out with her because we have pretty similar energy. I can be insane. She can be insane. And then we also want to like chill. So it's going to be a fun day to podcast and we are about to pull up right now hello get in here this is our third date i wonder what

base will hit like in talking terms i mean you know i've never known what the bases are because like i don't think people really say it in england so when people like oh second base that base i'm like take a guess go ahead first base is what first base i would say that's like boobies oh my god you slut so so aggressive is it not i think no i think i think it's like making out oh i think wait okay no i'm just kidding maybe the uk is like more feisty i love it okay so first base for you is feel your tits for me it's make out what's second base then what the fuck is third base in the uk then okay i don't know uk it's probably like head head i've just assumed i guess third base that's like sex right what's home run is there no is there fourth base fifth base i don't know it's like first base in the us is like make out second base is like feel the tits like maybe a hand job it's very much i would probably

go for a tit feel before i kiss them you went for a tit feel before you kiss them i would think it's less intense maybe it's really not just a little gray but like if okay i'm thinking of it in the context of like middle school and you like is there anything to grab like for me i was like a carpenter's dream you know what i mean Like there was something to go. Like you, you couldn't do anything. So I was like, here's my mouth because there's nothing to feel like I had no boobs in middle school.

Did you have boobs in middle school? I still, you still don't have any tits. It's so sad. But you know, what's gross. I actually had my first serious relationship and I actually remember they like wanted to have sex.

And I was like, I don't have tits yet. Like they were still like in the early stages of coming in. And I was like, Oh my God, what the fuck am I going to do? And so I waited eight months in the relationship till we could have sex. And I was like I don't have tits yet like they were still like in the early stages of coming in and I was like oh my god what the fuck am I gonna do and so I waited eight months in the relationship so we could have sex and I was like finally have tits like they grew in those eight months that fast well it's not exactly like fast and furious you know what I mean like a little bump came like a little speed bump came like you got a little like it was like the formation I was like cool I'm ready you waited eight months and finally a little tit appeared and you were like, okay, now you can fuck me.

Yeah. That's so gross when you put it like that. Thank you. No, no, no. I appreciate the honesty. Okay. That's really amazing. And just to confirm for my own suspicions, third base, I think in the US or just in my life was then like a finger in a blow job and then full was fuck okay what's a

fourth basis fourth base is home run you know it's we're playing baseball okay so first base second base third base home run whoo do you know do you know anything about baseball no intimate question but with having like the germs and everything how does that translate to like if you're gonna hook up with someone do they need to like, how does that translate to like if you're going to hook up with someone? Do they need to like shower before you hook up? Okay. Like I just won't. Suck dick.

Because I don't know where that's been. I don't know if your hands have fucking gone in it. Like boys are gross. Right. They wash their hands. They shove their hands down their pants. But like, okay. So my thing is puke.

Like that's the germ. I'm scared of any germs that will cause that. But like I don't give me the flu. Give me a call. Like I'm fine. You just don't want to puke. I don't want to puke like that's the germ i'm scared of any germs that will cause that but like i don't give me the flu give me a call like i'm fine you just don't want to puke i don't want to puke and you can't catch that unless someone's just puke i was thinking you were saying because like obviously if i'm going to suck dick i'm going to puke on his dick no well also yeah i'm like she's a deep-throater guys like when she's going down i definitely don't so you just like nor you don't even like you're not even going down there ever no because there's jumps no i like maybe with a partner we are currently at washington square park but there is apparently a band out there so this may not be the best for podcasting but i'm

also like maybe it's a cute band like maybe there's a rock star over there that like i although i'll be honest i don't know if you want to like date a rock star in washington square park but like maybe i think i'm done with musicians Alex okay here we go here we go let's go find a poet Oh my god. I'm kind of hungry. I want a hot dog. And I know you probably don't want a hot dog. Well, I know you don't want a hot dog. I don't want a hot dog. Would know you probably don't want a hot dog well I know you don't want a hot

dog I don't want a hot dog would you ever eat street food no I wish it smells so good I'm gonna go get some do you want to come no okay okay I'm going to get a hot dog I'll be right back you guys know there was this one time when i like had an entire crisis to the point that i shaved my head i like woke up and i said to my friend who may have been a fake friend for letting me do this like she was a little bit too excited you know what I mean like rubbing her hands together kind of thing like she put the razor in my hand I like hacked off all of my hair because I wanted to see what I would look like with a bob and a fringe and then and then I just shaved it and I was in a relationship at the time I like called my ex to show them. I was like so excited.

I thought they were going to love it. And then they just burst into tears on the phone. That was really embarrassing. And like I had this fixation. I really wanted to shove my like go to the ocean. I wanted to put my head in the sand and then like wet it and put it in the sand. I don't know why I like fixated on it so heavy. Then my girlfriend broke up with me because I was bald

and then I was like way too depressed to go to the ocean. So, and then I just let it grow back and it stuck directly upwards on the top of my head for like, I don't know, six months. And then I like OD'd on biotin for the next six months. And then it will grow back. She is literally the easiest interview I've ever done. Look at her, she's just like talking to herself over there.

I'm like, I'm gonna go get a hot dog. She's like clearly telling a story or something over there. I love it. Can I have a hot dog? Thank you so much. You can keep the change, thank you. Anyways, I know it's like a cliche, people shave their heads after a breakup, and I am going through one, but I don't think I'm going to do that again.

Would you ever shave your head? What? You think I'd look good with a shaved head? Hi. Hey. That stinks. It's good. Have you had enough New York?

Yeah. Have you had enough of me? No. Okay, good. Do you want to go back to the hotel? Okay. Let's go so how has your trip been so far it's been pretty good um my flight got cancelled but i'm honestly very happy to have a few extra days to cuddle with you i know i'm really happy that we're

getting to have some like girl time me too we had to pour ourselves wine because we can't do this sober. Cheers. Okay. So you recently just went through a breakup. Yes. The internet just basically found out this week. And to give context to the daddy gang, maybe you guys are familiar. Maybe you're not. Madeline was dating someone that is also in the public eye, is a very famous rapper from the UK. And your relationship kind of just like blew up online you guys were seen together you guys made some TikToks together like you were out together at

parties and like everyone was obsessed with you guys and then this week something kind of came out where he was at a concert essentially and someone that was on stage with him was like my boy is single and everyone's like wait what the fuck is happening so to confirm you guys are broken up yes how long have you guys been broken up for um a couple months okay so um can i ask like who ended the relationship i made the final call you made the final call it's crazy because we were talking about this earlier which i think we should talk about because mostly women listen to this show and i'm like thank god fuck everyone like this is so annoying let's talk about like the perception online because you saying you ended it is not what people think online. I know. But it's not even like anyone's given any thought to it.

It's just like their immediate response is like, I got dumped. Or like, it's like the girl because the guy has all these like girls after him and crazy followers and crazy money. And it's like, it's for some reason what we would expect like culturally in a weird way. And I hate that. You're so right. It always is like the guy ended it like I've literally seen comments of being like he must have dumped her like she must be so depressed and it's like you actually ended it but it's annoying that it has to take you coming

on and saying that for then people to believe it it's really dumb yeah it's really dumb I think a lot of times obviously it's really difficult to end a relationship some people know for years some people know like over a weekend and it hits them like how long first of all can I ask were you guys actually dating um so we met nearly two years ago okay and have been obviously in some kind of entanglement ever since you were basically talking and together for two years yeah and you ended it two months ago yes how long did you know that you wanted to end it quite a while I think it was a lot of back and forth and like it kind of like in a fun toxic way almost when you're like oh god like this needs to end but fuck it like let's go on one more trip together or like let's have one more night like but I think

it was kind of hard because like we both just were like a little bit obsessed obsessed with each other and every time it was like okay like logically this needs to end we're not happy it's not fulfilling us like there's a lot of issues that we cannot resolve like this has gone on too long or like there's a resentment here and it's not gonna go away like it we just would have that conversation be like yeah this is fucking terrible anyway like that is too fucking relatable though of like knowing something's toxic and smiling in the face of toxicity and being like yeah where are we going next week for that uh concert or where are we flying to it's like right you can't give it up sometimes even as toxic as it is maybe to some people on the outside when you're in it it almost becomes like an addiction oh my god the

word addiction i've been throwing it around lately because like i even was speaking to my friend and i don't know if i can say this but obviously it's new york fashion week and he was here yeah and i had no intention to see him but i got the text and i was like oh that's so relatable i was getting pizza with my friends and we'd just come out of this party and i was like oh my god and my friend was like don't you fucking dare like you don't need to do this and i was like no i'm absolutely not going to and i went to bed and i expected to wake up the next morning being like, thank fucking God I held my own in that situation. And I woke up like, no, I really should have fucked him. And I was like, oh, my God.

And I texted my friend. I was like, I actually think I'm addicted to chaos. Like, I think I wish I woke up this morning like, oh, my God, crazy. Like, went to his hotel, left at 5 a.m got back here feel like shit and i was like how can i possibly want that i'm like it's an actual addiction it is because don't you feel like you like when you're going through kind of that like toxic ending you become so like it becomes so normalized that then when you're in your quiet moments without the toxic you're literally like wait like where is it like where is he like

why don't I feel that rush why don't I feel like insecure or nervous or like obsessed like there's so many weird emotions that you go through that when it's gone you're literally like is life boring like why am I why am I stable yeah um you kind of mentioned like your friends like during this relationship obviously as things kind of start to fall apart I think we can all relate to maybe holding things back from our friends or being brutally honest with them it depends like where were you at on that spectrum of like telling your friends the actual truth of what was going on fully lying but I actually made a new friend recently I've been talking about this to everyone I I told you about her.

And she was someone that I really wanted to like, like she kind of commands you to be a good person. She's one of those people that it's like, I'm going to actually feel fucking stupid if I say something dumb in front of you because you clearly respect yourself and I like you. And we were talking and I told her something. And from that point, I was like, OK, I have no choice. Like this relationship has to end now.

Why? Because what was her reaction? It was just it was like humbling a little bit. And also when you finally say it, it's kind of a reflection that you're already ready to get out of it because you're saying it. That's a good point. It's almost like until you're ready to vocalize it even to one person like for so long you can go in the delusion of being like it's fine it's fine like it's not that toxic like it's gonna be fine but the minute that you say it to someone that's like not in it and you know the minute you say it out loud how crazy it sounds because their face is literally like what the fuck bitch yeah

can you explain to me like like, from your just perspective, like, how did this relationship affect you? I really didn't like who I became towards the end, especially. One thing that always got to me was he always said I was rude. And I really pride myself on not being fucking rude to, like, anybody. And I understand that I'm a little bit shy and sometimes I can come off like I'm not interested but I'm actually just like I don't know what to say and so I don't say anything um but then I was like no you're right like when I whenever I'm in a room with

your friends or family or your co-workers I'm not I don't say anything and I become this really closed off small version of myself and feel like everything I say is stupid or like everything I say is wrong somehow and it's actually been weird coming to fashion week because like I still have that kind of voice in my head of like everything I'm saying is so stupid or like I don't know what I'm doing and then I sat next to this girl at one of the shows and we like chatted before the show started and we chatted when the show ended and I thought we had a nice normal interaction I was like yeah like that was a standard good social interaction like I thought we were really friendly um but then I was like oh but I probably said a hundred things wrong that I didn't even realize that I said wrong and like I'm sure

people would have things to say about it like if I'd have been in a room with certain people I'm sure there'd be comments and then she dm'd me on instagram she's like do you want to have girl dinner this week and i was like no i knew i was fucking normal like your confidence is down yeah but i think this fashion week's really brought it back because i've met so many new people and like made actual new friends i think though this is like a good conversation to have madeline because so many women listen to this podcast and like you just saying that is a small example of like i get it when you're seeing that 2 a.m text and you're like fuck should i go back to the toxic but then it's also like you saying you felt small you felt not confident you were doubting yourself you weren't being yourself and then the minute you

were away from it and yes you were still doub yourself, but then now you're finding yourself like getting your groove back and like having more confidence. Like it really is crazy. And it's not even to say that the partner you're with is a bad person. Maybe they are. Maybe they're their fucking asshole. Maybe they're a psycho. But when you're with the wrong person, you can just become such a shell of yourself that

like if you go too long like that, you can actually lose yourself and you can lose your way like i went through that with someone that i was in a relationship with and it was so unhealthy and i remember like fighting so hard for it and i think when i look back half of the reason i was fighting so hard aside from being obsessed with the toxicity was actually i didn't even know who i was going to be the minute that i left that person because I didn't even know who I was anymore without him and that toxicity and it's terrifying yeah um were you nervous to actually end it like can you talk about ending it and how you even got the strength to do that because that is a motherfucker I think it was finally speaking about it with other people and getting another perspective and also with him like it wasn't like he was super happy and like being like no like we can fix it it can

be better like we were both like wet drained and then I think I've not seen him in a while but the last time I saw him was actually um Olivia Rodrigo's like dinner party with this yeah that was the last time I ever saw him wow yeah and um there was definitely some some sensed tensions at that but we've gone to the dinner together um and I think I could kind of see people's reactions at the dinner table like oh something's off going on i'm pretty sure rodrigo herself checked in and was like are you okay she's like what the fuck is going on oh wow so olivia knew i feel like most people could tell yeah that things weren't good and then yeah we just like got in a taxi and like had an argument and then i like went home and he went back to his and usually if we'd had a fight like we would

bicker for an hour and we'd argue for an hour and then we'd go to bed together but it got to the point where we would have like half an argument and then be like oh fuck you fuck this like and walk the other direction because we literally didn't care like we were like there's there's no point there's like no resolution anymore i also feel like you know when you're kind of at rock bottom when like when you're fighting in public with people like even at some types of event like that where like people are like looking at you guys and like observing and like it's just like you can't even stop yourself like that's when you know it's like please some dignity girl wow also like he is in such an exciting part of his life and i'm so happy

for him like this is a huge like everything he's doing is huge everything is exciting and i was like why are you coming home and beefing me over text every night you should be enjoying yourself I should be enjoying myself I was about to say you're also at a really exciting time in your life too me too and like I was like why are we forcing each other to be in this situation like I don't want this toxic, horrible, what it became horrible, like, situation to, like, be always in the back of your mind. Like, you should just be enjoying life. Like, life is short. Yeah. And it was the same for me. I was like, why am I having these great experiences in these amazing days? And then going home and, like, laying in bed, like, unable to move because we've had such a bad argument that

day over nothing it's also like if you have the right person in your life in that moment like it should be easy it should be fun it of course relationships are hard but like going home and laying in bed with a pit in your stomach like it just shouldn't happen it can happen once a couple times a year where you're like oh god we just had a big like breakthrough moment or a fight but it's like if this is a constant narrative in your head like we have to remind ourselves this isn't normal like like I said I've gone through it and then I'm now in a relationship where I'm like whoa like I remember when I met Matt I was like is this normal to like feel this good about myself and feel confident and to feel like I can have a career

and a relationship because I have a partner that supports me like it takes getting out of something to realize like the things you actually never need again and maybe also you want again but you shouldn't be sitting in bed with like sick to your stomach so were you nervous to like with that final conversation like was it like a screaming argument like was were you okay going into it like i just feel like so many girls message me being like how the fuck do i end this thing like what do i do like what's your advice um for me i knew we'd had conversations before where we were both like look this isn't good we're not healthy we never get to see each other so we can't even resolve things like it's hard over the phone different time zones like what the fuck are we doing um but then obviously we'd go back and be

like we're back you're still hot unfortunately um still look good on your instagram so i'm sliding in um but i think because i've done that so many times i knew like okay look if we sit and talk about this for five hours i'm gonna end up back in your bed and like it needed to be like ripping the band-aid off like very matter of fact like it's over it's done um the thing that i feel like no one actually believes is that it wasn't pr like if it was PR I probably would have posted it more than three fucking times like we kept it secret for quite a while what did you learn from that relationship that you definitely will do differently moving forward oh I think just like I definitely need to get better at letting my friends in and like keeping them informed on like

what's going on so they can kind of like tell me like hey that's not fucking okay or like that's not normal and it's something me and all of my friends collectively need to work on because we're all guilty of it of like hiding little things because because you make excuses and you're like well i know why they did that and i know that they have this issue and like i know they're a good person but my best friend's not gonna have that same love and empathy for them and so you hide shit but like no no not again although I said this after my last relationship too I didn't do it so you're like okay this next relationship I'm actually gonna tell my friends like I'm saying it here to hold myself fucking accountable sorry Millie it's a work in progress

no but I get it I would say that too and i know it sounds like simple because so many people say it but like if you are lying to people in your life about your relationship that is the first red flag that it is not a healthy relationship because why are you lying because you have a biased view tell someone unbiased listen to their opinion of that they're gonna be like bitch get the fuck out of there did you tell your therapist that you were gonna end it no i told him that we broke up six months ago madeline you told you told your therapist six months you were like six months ago it's over so what have you been talking about for six months with your therapist my fucking fear of germs your fear of germs shut the fuck up wait six months ago like probably more than that why um i don't like he's i don't know because like he's just kind of like he thought first of all he called

him central z couldn't get it right and he thought like central z and his government name like oakley they he thought they were two separate people and i was like a bitch he thought you were dating two people no he thought they were two separate people so i would like talk about him and he'd be like so why are we talking about a rapper and i was like for fuck's sake like is he old he's pretty old so he's having a hard time like keeping up with like the young gen z does he have a tiktok not really he had to kind of like he's asked a couple times he's like so where can i find you if i want to go online and i'm like no don't worry about that don't worry about it because i like fully will make a tiktok like i lied to my therapist today i'm gonna do it tomorrow like here's like one like two like three so you need to like update your therapist maybe maybe no i'm

not gonna we need to get you a different therapist i agree okay the moral of the story is blame everything on your therapist the reason madeline's been going but i love him he's so smart well you can like get coffee with him and like stay in touch and be friends like we need someone that you're actually gonna be like they're like with it enough and not like covered in dust and on the way out what if he watches this he's not gonna watch this does he go on social media in dust no he refers to it as the metaverse he literally calls social media the metaverse like babe it's time to upgrade your therapist we love him get coffee with him he's like my car oh my god it's literally. You guys, Madeline has the oldest car known to man. I remember when you were driving into the city, Madeline was telling me, she was like,

I need to be in London at four o'clock this afternoon. And I was like, okay, cool. And she's like, so I'm leaving at 9am. And I was like, how far is your house from London? She's like one hour. I'm like, so you're giving yourself like how many hours to get there? She's like, just so that I can give myself my car breaks to break down on the highway so that i can get to london i'm like madeline let's talk about your sexuality as we said um he was the first penis that you ever dated yeah your whole life up until

now how old are you 23 23 up until 23 you have basically dated women yeah take me back how and when did you first know that you were attracted to women i was actually pretty stupid so i only figured it out when i was like 15 okay well i mean i think i actually knew really early on but i was like oh suppress that well first of all you're not stupid and anyone listening you're not stupid like i get that's probably how you felt but it's not stupid because i also feel like obviously society makes you feel like don't have those feelings like don't feel that way so it's actually not your fault for feeling like scared to accept those feelings no definitely and I think I actually knew from like a very young age like I remember looking at like lingerie adverts and whatever like pictures of maybe naked women that

my mom had around the house and like I remember liking the way it looked and being like I don't know what this is like I've never seen this before like I don't think you're meant to feel this way I think that's for boys and so I would like suppress it and I didn't really know what gay was like I remember the first time I ever saw a lesbian couple and I was in Brighton which is like a very very um like LGBT area of the UK and so there were these women and they were like making out by the beach and in my tiny little head I must have been like seven or eight I the first thing I thought was mother and daughter because that's all I knew was like I would kiss my mom on the lips when I'd like say bye to her so I just thought they were like taking it to the

next level and I was walking with my best friend and her mom and I went oh as a seven-year-old I was like why is she making out with her mom like that's crazy and my friend's mom whipped around at me so fast and was like why did you say that like why would you do that and she had to explain to me that that's what that is and i was like oh interesting that you say that's an option interesting i remember it so clearly because from that day on i was like okay like it doesn't very good to know yeah yeah not in a creepy way but like you can kiss another woman and then not just be your mom yeah thank god and it is acceptable it's more acceptable than like making out with your mom it's better to make out with a different woman preferably i mean let's be clarifying did it complicate your understanding of your sexuality when you

realized you weren't just attracted to women you were also attracted to men um a little bit i mean obviously there was a time in my life where i felt like the label lesbian was the best fit for me but i never liked labels generally because i was like but how can i like um commit to like i'm definitely never gonna find a man i click with and i'm definitely this and definitely that but at the same time i was like i don't i resent the fuck out of it when other people are like oh but you might meet a guy and there's just one guy out there for you and i'm like shut the fuck up but then to myself secretly i'm like okay but also that's like i might you know what i mean like and i think usually i wouldn't care but like having a social media

platform like i don't want to be like oh i'm this and then the one in a million happens and something else is actually the case and then i feel like I've misrepresented a community and people are gonna be upset about it and I would always question myself like if there was a guy and I would find him cute and like I say I'm identifying as like a lesbian and then I find a guy cute I'd be like okay so what's the percentage like two percent straight five percent straight or five percent bisexual whatever five percent into guys and 95 percent into girls and like i spent so much time thinking about it like trying to put myself in the correct box and it was so draining like it was the most exhausting thing because like i said like girlies like straight girlies will go out to the club and like kiss their girlfriends and they don't have to answer to anyone for it that's like a normal thing and you're not five percent into girls just because you do that like yeah and so I was like why am I tormenting myself

with this like round and round and round bullshit of like what am I like shut up right just have fun bitch like it's not you don't need to worry about it yeah it's like so crazy to even just hearing you say that I empathize a lot with you because I feel like I've had enough conversations with people on my show where like it's the only reason you internally feel that way is because the outward perception of you is people staring at you being like what are you what are you what do you identify as and it it must be like kind of freeing at some point and I hope everyone gets that point in their life where it can be like it doesn't matter i can wake up today and be attracted to this i can wake up tomorrow and be attracted to this and that's fucking fine it doesn't fucking matter

for me felt like everyone that had been like homophobic towards me and been like oh you know one day you're gonna find a dick that you like and you're gonna wake up beside a guy and like you don't really know yourself and you don't really know what you're feeling like that kind of thing i was like i don't want to ever hand it to them like i don't now i don't want to ever find a guy that i want to fucking date because like fuck you and like you experience that a lot a lot of it yeah and like i was very aware of like the idea of like one day you're gonna get a dick that's gonna like change your mind you know what i mean yeah and you're like fuck you i like resent that fact so now i'm gonna like make sure i never date a guy but it's like you can't go off with just spite but i get that would be so annoying

but that how did that make you feel people like basically like questioning like your sexuality and actually chalking it up to the fact that you just don't know yourself well i think that's the main reason i felt so much need to like figure out my percents and put myself in that box and be really really involved mentally with what i was because i was like i when i claim to be something i have to be correct because i don't want to prove these idiots right yeah and like i got to a point where i just grew up and i didn't care about them because why the fuck does it matter what they think it really doesn't and like as long as you're being genuine to yourself at every separate point in time like when i believed i only liked women that was because i'd only ever fucking liked women and i'd connected with them and i'd had good sex with

them and then oh look i meet a guy and we're such compatible people and I find him really funny and he's really cute. Oh look, like, okay, cool. Like it's not, like now it would be true for me to say that I'm bi and previously it would have been true from my perspective to say I was a lesbian. Like I wasn't wrong then and I'm not wrong now. Yeah.

Do you have advice to anyone right now that's also kind of going through a similar situation that you've gone through of like trying to define their sexuality and people looking at them like looking for an answer I think you don't owe an answer to anyone would be like the main thing and and you can't intellectualize your sexuality is what I've always said like you can sit and think about it for 24 hours a day and you're not going to get any more answers than just living and experiencing your life is going to give you like you literally have to see it play out you have to have hundreds

of experiences and meet new people and be exposed to new perspectives and be exposed to new people and have sex and kiss people and do whatever you want like that you literally are gonna get nowhere by just sitting and thinking and dwelling on it like as much as you probably want to and i did it for years it's not gonna give you the answer so like just live your life and do what makes you feel good as and when it makes you feel good because also what might make me feel good today might make me feel disgusting in a week. Like, sometimes I want to have, like, really nice sex. And then other times, I don't want to have such nice sex.

You know what I mean? Like, things are just going to ebb and flow and change and just, like, let it happen. Yeah, don't get too in your head, I think. And you don't owe anyone anything anyway. Amen. Okay, let's have a little sip of our wine and let's talk about your fucking podcast pretty lonesome

and i want you to talk to the daddy gang about this podcast what it means to you what it's going to be about why people should listen and watch well i think it is kind of a place to like embrace being alone because I always say like your 20s are very developmental years of your life and I felt like I was going through all these things and like the only thing getting me through was like giggling about it at the end of the day with my girlfriends like that was the only fucking thing keeping me sane and like I when we first started speaking about podcasting and what mine was gonna be I was like why the fuck does everything sound like I'm trying to give advice or like it's an advice podcast and I was like I do not have an ounce of advice to give anyone like I make so many mistakes as we've discussed today

like as we've discussed um so I kind of wanted it to be a place where I can just like offload because I think if TikTok has taught me one thing it's that like you're never alone in your experiences no matter how rogue you think they are someone has done the same shit as you probably a lot of people have done the same shit as you i actually love that your podcast is going to be you just like explaining things that are going on your life and like maybe when people are feeling alone or they want to connect or even if they're just like looking for a good fucking entertaining time tune into your podcast pretty lonesome and you will feel less alone because madeline is going to be there alone talking about her feelings in her life and now she is fully single not ready to mingle she's ready to mingle on her podcast I cannot thank

you enough for coming on call her daddy this has been so much fun we need to keep meeting up in New York like I was about to say annually no like every other month can only do one time a year yeah one time a year we only see each other we hold love you so much love you see you every one time a year um no but thank you for coming on this was a blast and i cannot wait for people to listen to your podcast you're so talented and i love you and thank you for coming on here thank you for having me Outro Music