Call Her Daddy - Mother Cooper (REVISIT)

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

100.

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy hello hello hello daddy gang it's another wednesday and this week unfortunately is another off week for call her daddy i know shut the fuck the fuck up. But you said I know what I said. But sometimes things change. You've all been let down by your parents or your boyfriend or your girlfriend or yourself. And I'm letting you down this week. But I promise it's for a reason. So put your tissue boxes away. Wipe those fucking tears. Get the snot out. The wait will be worth it. I am currently working on something that you will be hearing and watching next week. Watching? Yes. Do you like drama, honey? You're getting the fucking drama. You're like, well,

what's this episode then? Why does it say Mother Cooper? I recorded an episode with my mom during the pandemic and I am re-releasing it today because it was truly, I still think, one of the best episodes that I ever released for Call Her Daddy. My mother was incredible on this episode. I'm so happy she didn't shit her pants and vomit at the same time because she was so fucking nervous to come on call her daddy but the woman that birthed me is so brilliant and incredible and I look up to her so much and this episode truly embodies the woman that I was raised by enjoy the re-release daddy gang a new episode of call her daddy will come next week. Daddy gang, I put a lot of thought into this episode because I really wasn't sure who is worthy to sit across from me on this beloved episode.

I heard the daddy gang and everyone's like, oh my God, we have to. It's the 100th episode. have to it's it's the 100th episode this is amazing let's celebrate and i'm like who the fuck would i have on this episode and then i realized that this show wouldn't exist without the person sitting next to me because had i not come out of her vagina oh god oh god dirty motherfucking game introducing the woman that birthed me my mother fucking mother Lori Cooper yep okay Al big Al Al. I was having a much better time all week calling you 10 times a day. Who are you going to have? Who's the person going to be?

Oh my God. Are you getting Cardi B or daddy gang? Literally my mom calls me. She's like, Oh my God. Like who did you decide on? And I tell my mom everything. So she's like,

who's the 100th guest? And I'm like, I am not even telling you like it's a surprise. So flash forward to this weekend. They got a ring at the doorbell. And lo and behold, my mother answers the door. And she makes eye contact with me first. So excited. Alex thinking I'm surprising her. And then she goes, Oh, God. Oh, God, I could tell right away. right away oh god i don't know how i could tell i could tell i was like oh my god i am not just doing your laundry no i am here oh my mother and

i just want to like like get let you guys know she is clenching the microphone to the point where we may not have her audio she is so nervous she's freaking out she's not doing how are you doing not well i'm fine over here i'm fine i'm losing my mind but i'm fine oh my okay listen to me okay mom i want you to let you know because daddy game my mom was like freaking out she's like oh my god but like what if they don't think i'm funny and i'm like mom no one is like looking for my mom to come on and be like cracking dick jokes like you can chill i think the moral of this is going to be first and foremost you already made it you could literally leave right now you're on the show okay that sounds perfect go ahead i think on the 100th episode, what I want to do today is you have been, we can get sappy here,

you are the most influential person in my life. Thank you. And I aspire to be not only the mother you are, but also just like the type of person you are. Thanks. You're welcome welcome so i think that the daddy gang it would be really i've really talked about you on this podcast so much how you are so insightful um and it will be fun to just kind of let the daddy gang know where i'm from yeah who i came from right no i get i i get it i'm'm ready. Okay. Here we go. I think the most asked question on the internet, hands down, and we can just kick it off with this, people would want me to ask is, how does your mom feel about Call Her Daddy the show?

Okay. I'm going to correct you right there. Okay. Okay. Because what I think the number one question is, and you were just giving me a nice little kudo, it's how does your father feel? What does her dad think about the show?

Oh my God, what are their fathers saying? 10,000 to one. Everyone. What do their dads think? Ew, it's even Instagram girls, everyone on the internet. If you're posting bikini pictures, what do their fathers think? What does their dads think ew it's even instagram girls everyone on the internet if you're posting bikini pictures what do their fathers think what does their dad think and my mom gets all upset i do i'm like excuse me it's a 50 50 like she couldn't have gotten here without you without me right but to you to answer your question yeah oh i think it's amazing i'm just

going to put it out there thank you immensely proud yeah what's going on here and you know I'm just going to say it I admire the product you've created I know where it comes from I know how much talent I've watched you you know since the beginning eight years old you were starting to think about doing these things and I dad and I are both like immensely proud of you personally. But you know, and I've said this to you before, I think you even said it, this creative process and product is even bigger than you, which like kudos to you. I'm proud. I'm going to do a mom moment. I am really proud. Thank you. Listen, is it raunchy? Does it have sex and making fun of circumstances with sex and all of that?

Sure. But you have to respect the creative process and the product. Yeah. Like, how do you not? I mean, I know I was saying to you, Lena Dunham's Girls. Yeah, the show Girls. That TV show. I was like, this is amazing right i mean maybe it's my viewpoint but sex in the city i think i've watched that three three rotations

right right i read an article sarah jessica parker when she took that role hesitated because she thought it would ruin her career. Now, that's progress. Yeah. You know? I mean, it's funny because you and I always, in the beginning, and even still to this day, I think, Daddy Gang, my mom would literally call me and be like, I just left the grocery store

and I ran into so-and-so from your middle school days and their parents came up to me. Yeah. And OK. And so and so they'll go, how are you doing? And I'm like, fine, thank you. But like there's this tone like you shouldn't be OK. Right.

Right. I'm like, I'm good. How are you? No. Like, how are you doing with Alex? And I'm like, Alex is great. Did you hear about the podcast? Right? She's doing great. It's great. Thank you so much. And they just look at me like, what's wrong with you? Right? And didn't you have a close friend? I had close.

I had a very close friend, like college friend long. She called me saying that she and her husband had discussed what was happening with you and they felt compelled to let dad and I know that they thought something was wrong and it needed to be addressed. And were we aware of, I'm like aware of it? Like, do you think I don't know what's happening? You're like, wait, Alex has a podcast? I literally had no idea. And this is like a year of it. Like, you think I don't know what's happening? You're like, wait, Alex has a podcast. I literally had no idea. And this is like a year into it.

Yeah. So as a mother, like, did that bother you? Did it? Come on. Yeah. You know me. Yeah. That was a good question.

But yeah. Yeah. What bothered me and I started to I told you I started to parse it out, differentiate. Like I said to you there's a difference between how do you feel about the show or what Alex is doing as opposed to how do you feel about Alex and I feel like many times that's the underlying message ooh how do you feel about your daughter right well I'm sitting here I feel great about my daughter I'm very proud of you thank you and so is dad I want to say thank you to you for a minute because while starting the show and being going through this show,

I can only speak for myself on my side of the show. But for me, my experience with my family and the support that I had going through this, you guys have been so supportive not since it got successful right to be able to go into the recording studio every single week since episode one and have my family not saying they loved the sex content but fully supporting me you that made my career when I went in there I didn't have to think about what are my parents gonna to think? I was very fortunate. Right. And, but that's, you know, that comes with the years of, I had trust in you as a person. Yeah. This thing could have not worked. Right. It could have been a total flop. Right. You know, it, it was, I had confidence in you. Yeah. And the craft that you were trying. And this was your first jump in. And it's like, let's do it. And everybody is looking at like this final product, so to speak, that's come out.

But and, you know, me and my quotes, I'm always giving you guys quotes. But one of the ones I always said to you, if you can't figure out your purpose figure out your passion and your passion is going to lead you there you're you've been driven by your passion your whole life no and I think that everyone listening daddy gang I definitely feel like there are people that grow up and that you know what you want to do and then there are people I have had best friends that have no idea what they want to do I want to just tell everyone that's like younger trying to figure it out. Don't put pressure on yourself to be like, I have to figure it out by 25. I have to fit like if you like you said, mom, and it is kind of a great quote. Figure out what your passion is, because then that will just that will lead you to like

success because I'd wake up every single day and love what I'm doing. Of course, this podcast is like stressful at times, but there's nothing else I would rather be doing. I throughout my years, I even have mentioned some of your like iconic lines that have stuck with me. And then inherently, I'm obviously on my podcast using them because you're my mother. And I know that you weren't obviously prepared for this interview. So I pulled up some of your iconic lines that i just think i would say on the call her daddy podcast and i want the daddy gang to hear some laurie cooper fucking wisdom okay so i just always thought it'd be easier for you guys if i gave you like repeating lines no you did you would say the same shit over and over to us at the time when i was younger i'm like mom

we get it but now i'm like oh mom yeah I get it and now it still it stuck with me so the first part has to do with relationships and it's so beautiful because Lauren having just gone through her breakup I remember you on FaceTime with her asking her this question and I haven't heard you say this in a while but I remember you saying it to me in college as well when you were dating all those guys with all the depth yes all the depth all the emotion so brilliant so beautiful

but at least they were rich okay so and I knew you were just practicing I'm like well I'll let her just blow this out and she'll see she hits a brick wall she'll be like that's not working that's not working trial and error maybe you don't want that so this is one of your i obviously i don't have it quote by quote but this is basically something laurie cooper has always preached to me and my friends and my family about relationships unless you are engaging in a relationship where you truly believe that person makes you a better version of

yourself, why would you ever commit to a static agreement? So basically you've, is that how you say it? Sort of. Yeah. I think I, I threw that static piece in later, but, um, it, it's just basically, there's so much emphasis today. You know me. I have literally gone from, you know, I hope you guys find a good life partner, whoever that is, get married, if you want children. I'm like not 100% on marriage anymore. Right. And not that we're against it.

You're more just like whatever makes you happy. Well, whatever makes you happy but whatever allows you to continue to grow. Yeah. Like, I mean, I think what I was most, I am most thankful in my relationship with dad. And I've told you this. I'm like, the version you see before you now with dad is like version 10. Right. You know, like we had to keep moving forward and developing this language and this support

system but when we came together there was no question in my mind I am a better person like productively internally when I am with this man. We make each other better. So the decision to commit to that, and back in our day it was you got married. It was a no brainer, except, and I've told you this, I had a little commitment issue too, right? Because it was being vulnerable. But that to me was the deciding factor. And I may have even gotten that from therapy myself yeah to kind of go through that when you're going into my field but i think no i think it's brilliant i think everyone listening daddy gang that's beautiful thank you mom it's like everybody listening to this podcast take a fucking minute and think of

yourself if you're in a relationship right now or even if you're not think back to past relationships did that person make you the best version and a better version of yourself or did you feel better individually and without that person did they make you feel like shit do they put you down do they support your career like which is it because when you kind of ask yourself that question because i remember when we asked lauren and i know you've asked me that in the past and a lot of times it's kind of a very clear answer right and and that's kind of scary because then you got to be willing to like listen to yourself big weight no i don't feel like a better version of myself he puts me down he makes me feel like shit right and so that's what I was kind of jumping in to say to you. I forget where I got this quote from. But the quote is ownership. Does it make you feel like the best version of yourself? It's not his or her responsibility. Right. you get that feeling from a positive relationship, but you've got to look at it and go,

what am I doing here? Am I, the flip side to this that I've used with you is if someone you're partnering with makes you feel less than who you know you are to be and you are, that's not a healthy relationship, right? And that's, it's like dark and deep, but it's- Not a healthy relationship. And I don't know whether you are, that's not a healthy relationship, right? And that's just like dark and deep. Not a healthy relationship. And I don't know whether you got, we literally,

I couldn't even prepare for this because I was so nervous. Yeah. But my other quote that's coming to me, and I know you've used this a lot, I used to say it to you a lot, is you need to understand in an imbalanced relationship, the person that cares the least controls the relationship. Lori Cooper, I have tweeted that line. A lot.

I have said that line and people get so mad at me when I say that. But it is. It's fucking true. You hate to hear that. Yeah. Because if you're in a relationship and you start realizing

that that other person in a negative way is calling all the shots. That's so unhealthy. It's literally they don't care. Exactly. They care. They care the least. It's so fucking true.

It's so dark. Daddy gang. But think about that. I remember I use that in my he doesn't like you episode. I was like, it's the person that one, right? The person that cares least. It's like, think about that he never calls he never texts he treats you like shit so who's who's texting you you're texting first every time you're trying to get him to see you you're fine i'll double text him i'll try to show up and then i'll bring food so he likes me why are you

having to try so hard because he doesn't care therefore, you're the one putting in all the effort. And therefore, he's the one that dictates the relationship. And it's not healthy. It's not. But it's the truth. For either one of you. It's not. And that's where it goes back.

I'll go back one more time and then you can move on. I'll let you move on. This goes back to when you're little. Why do you want to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you that was on my list oh okay laurie cooper spitting facts that is the big like why do you want to be in a fucking relationship with someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship with you what are you doing yeah doesn't have the same feelings like why are you forcing something why

would you want to force someone to fucking like you or hang out with you or want to be with you and what's the cliche line everybody uses when they see like a marriage and everything later and they go, oh, it's not working out. They go, oh, well, either he or she. Yeah. They settled. Oh. Settled?

You get one life, my dear. Right. One. Yeah. So what are you doing with this one wonderful life? There's no, well, the Buddhists believe there's a redo. Okay. So that's one exclusion. We're not Buddhists. Okay. This is it. This is it. You're settling. So you're going to settle. And this doesn't mean the most money the best the smartest person it means for you the richest relationship and that's what it goes back to i know i'm preaching now but i've said this to you no i love it fucking spit

facts in her face please but when you find your person it's what works for you works for you well i have another quote from you laurie and this is a quote that's not your quote, but you always used to say it to us. And it's the one that's you accept the love that you think you deserve. Yeah. And that's as far as you can go. If you don't think you deserve more than the guy that beats the shit out of you and treats you like shit, then you will continue to be with that person. The minute that you open your eyes and you see, wait, I think I deserve more than this. I think I really see myself. And I know in my heart heart of hearts this is going to be the hardest thing to get out of but I truly like you said I know it's corny as fuck we live one life you gotta figure a way if you don't feel like you're getting the best out of something get the fuck out right and I just

and I get your passion with what you just said but I do want to clarify. When you're in an abusive relationship, the balance is so skewed that you sort of, as the person that may be being abused, you don't really have that thought process to be able to get out and be strong. So you need help with that. Do you have any advice for people that are in that situation? Get help. Get professional help. Yeah.

And I will tell you right now, and I almost can say this professionally, but I won't. This is mom and daughter. If you are in a relationship and it is not good, and God forbid if it's abusive. Right. If that person will not go to therapy with you, for love of god get your family around you and get out of it because that's a really bad sign if they won't work with you to solve the problem i'm getting a little dark no no but it's true i think i think people like this on the show sometimes when i've talked about sexual abuse and now this is it is nice to have people that

are older like sex with emily brought in a different she was great she was great and this is I know a lot of girls deal with this and it's kind of a lot of girls even ask me where do you even find a therapist like you saying that to someone I think is really powerful and that's the static part I'm talking about Alex yeah that's the static like if think, if you think that making the commitment, or, you know, getting married, let's say, or having children, that won't change if the person isn't going to go and get some help for to change themselves, right? And stop being an abuser. Yeah, if your partner won't go to therapy with you, and you're saying there's a clear issue, they don't think they need to change.

Well, they also don't care enough about the relationship. If dad came to me tomorrow and said, I need to go, dad needs to go, I would go for him. Right. Because he's asking me and I care. Right. And vice versa. So it's anyone that goes, I don't need that. Right. You can go, but I but i don't need that well if you're a partner there you go right okay oh my god spitting fast well i think and and in that this is another thing that i have kept with me and i think about in

every relationship that i get in because of you and i've've said this to my friends, Lori, Lori, you're you really are the granddaddy over here. Okay, what are you gonna say? It's well, it's relating to this. Another Lori Cooper quote brilliance. If something is bothering you in your relationship, and if there are things that you do not like in your relationship. It will only get 10 times worse when you get married. So if you are in a relationship right now and he's an alcoholic or he's a dick to you or he's cheating on you or she's cheating on you and she treats you and she gaslights you and you're just dating, understand that it will get worse. The minute you commit to each other in marriage. So like you have to knowingly.

Be ready to sign up for that. Correct and the thing is. It's not we're not. No one's perfect in my opinion. So we're not out there like oh they do that. So leave the point is. You need to address it. Yeah you have to address it. You have to address it.

I have, unfortunately, a lot of friends right now. They're empty nesters, right? They're with their spouses. And they haven't had these conversations. Like dad would have ticked me off last week. I would tell him something. This is bothering me. A lot of people have all these conversations in their head.

And they never even tell their partner. communicating yeah and it just you know what that's like oh my god you just it keeps going going going you're like yeah it's gone then it comes up again it's just you got it your generation which i love this whole thing with technology yeah okay fine it's probably bad you know where each other is I cannot believe boyfriends and girlfriends follow each other and find my apps oh my god oh my god terrifying we wanted to use that in college for for you kids in case you like got in a car accident right right and now boyfriends and girlfriends are like following each other which I think is psychotic and if my boyfriend ever wanted to fall follow me on a fucking tracking device I'd be like literally go fuck yourself right so and you're

looking at each other's phones and all that yeah so but with that openness use it positively right use it like if you're not good at confrontation maybe you could text him while he's at work and start the conversation hey like i really think we should talk later tonight i've been thinking about blah blah blah however daddy gang it's never too late if you're in a situation where you're like but it's too far down the line or i'm in a seven-year relationship how could i ever end it no fuck no we do not fucking settle and i'm so happy you brought up that fucking word i can't even imagine settle settle i settled i'm gonna settle with my life i'm gonna settle at 25 excuse daddy gang we don't fucking settle we fucking thrive and we succeed and we get what we fucking deserve and

in turn you give as much as you receive see yeah it works because it's it's a healthy side that you're bringing that I'm trying. It's a safe zone. No, it's true. It's true. Lori. Wait till I pull my book out that I've been keeping for years. I know it's kind of terrifying. If anyone has blackmail on me, it's my mother. But at least it's my mother.

I think that we could transition because it will just be fun i think we're just going to talk about shit we talked about my childhood it's like the whole thing of self awareness and what have you always said about self-awareness laurie it is the single most important piece to develop for success in both your personal and your professional life yeah like it is it yep and again it goes back to the only person you can control is yourself so awareness of the self it's where it all comes from you've always said to me like no one ever evolves and grows unless they were willing to discuss change and you can't grow if you don't change and you can't grow if you're not self-aware um and change causes discomfort right and people hate that right and that's why everybody's coming

up to me in the grocery store how do you feel are you okay going through a little change here yeah i do have to say when i pushed like the whole individual self-awareness thing, I think I might have pushed it a little too hard. Yeah. Let's talk about that because you really fucked me up. I'm just kidding. So Daddy Gang, I think that I preach it on this show. I'm like, Daddy Gang, you need to be yourself. Own your shit.

You don't need a man. You don't need a woman. Because when I was growing up up i think you really taught me you you yeah you did push individuality and you really never put an emphasis on like having a partner right it was more about being good on my own right which i love but i think i may have taken a little too far i don't i i think honestly in another way you were probably my my best child disciple you took every oh you like that you like this big yeah you you kind of hung you and I had a we have a connection right personality wise extroverted you wouldn't know it right now with me because

you're freaking the fuck out freaking out but um you took that and you kept developing the self the self the you know and working on that and being a better person and evolving um i don't i don't think it's a problem for you right now i think you just have really really always strived to be the maximum at anything now you're hitting you're looking for that maximum relationship well it's interesting because you and i were having a conversation over drinks last night about like how i've always called it a game with men and it's something i'm going i'm going down this journey in therapy daddy game but basically like what i've been talking about is i was i felt like

i was playing a game with men for so long because for a very long time in my entire childhood and life and I'm working on soccer in my career I couldn't have been more okay being alone I was very happy and being an individual and so every time I had a guy in my life it was more so like a a fun side thing for me to do but I was never expecting anyone to fill me up fully because I do it for myself right and like you called it you call it a game right I call the exact same thing a process Lori it's true hit us where it hurts and with the game that kind of diminishes the process right it sounds a little um manipulative manipulative competitive yeah it's a throwaway

right you win you keep moving on it's a process right and i mean going back to your soccer days right right how many times did you kick the net thousands until you figured that perfect shot are you about to connect this to dating oh my god so gotta we go so you need to date thousands of men right no but actually you need to date you figure out what you want yes and and that's where it goes back to again the amount of times that my mom and i have conversations about like when family members or extended friends of ours are like he is just getting it out of his system yeah okay and let me let me jump in with that because you know that i I go on a rant with that every time. And it's not sexist. I'm fine with both sexes with this. And I don't even mean sex itself. But why can you say, oh, he's a great young man. He's got

a wonderful college degree and he's good looking. He's got a good job. He just needs to get the fuck boy syndrome out of his system. And then he's going to make a great father and husband. Okay. So how does that not work for a woman? For the other side? That person would never have it come out of their mouth. She just needs to fuck around so much for a little bit. And then she's going to make an amazing wife.

Right. Never. Never. The point I think we're bringing up is like when i when i've called it a game you're right mom and maybe it was because i was an athlete and that's just what i was calling it but it really is a process figuring out what you like um and you've had some pretty dark games yeah in the relationship slice of it yeah right yeah and then i'll always say to you, you know, where people go,

Oh my God, you regret that happened. I'm like, don't ever regret a negative experience. Yeah. If you grew from it, right. This is,

this is what I hope this is. This is what I see is your message. Right. No, I've had so many crazy things happen in relationships. And even though I was entertaining the guys that were not the best of intentions for a while you've taught me never regret anything because i've had extremely amazing experience not i wouldn't say amazing but it is kind of amazing extraordinary extraordinary

experiences because i am where i am i have a better sense of self knowing what i want what i don't want because of those experiences okay it was here's what you want is one thing. It's so easy. I mean, we're getting a little into the weeds. But it's like, what you want is easy. You can and you can see it right. And I used to say this to you guys a lot too. And this is what we're talking about here. It's so important to know what you don't want yeah and what you don't want when you experience it is usually a negative experience right yep but then how important is that moving forward this is what we were talking about like the whole victim i know we're going to get into that the victim and well they did this to me they did that to me why are you here again you need to

know what you don't want it yeah accountability is something you and dad raised me with and i was joking to my mom we were just having a conversation about and i'm not talking about victims of like sexual assault or abuse i'm talking about the the people that are like woe is me i she did this to me i'm a. I, she did this to me. I'm a victim or, or he did this to me. And it's like,

what did you always say to me when I was growing up? You would come, I mean, I'm thinking, when you say that, I see like the little braids and the uniform

from Catholic school. Shout out. Okay. But you would come to the door and Susie cream cheese said blah, blah, blah to me.

Right. And I'd say, so what are you going to do about it right because you can't change the way Susie made you feel right but you can change the way you're going to behave and respond now to the situation it's the only control you have fucking boom and that's empowerment no it is because that is empowerment and i do want to say to the daddy gang like we are not fucking victims we don't let a boy my boyfriend is shit happens of course shit happens of course but you got to deal with it you got to deal with it it's not going to be like my boyfriend is treating me like shit.

And it's like, okay, so what are you going to do about it? But it's also, it's a lack of autonomy over your own life. Right. You know, which is almost worse because you're handing it over to somebody else. So that's the self-awareness piece. Yeah. It's always someone else's problem. They did this to me. And then. It's always someone else's problem. They did this to me.

And then how do you solve someone else's problem? See, it completely enables you. Right. Dependency. Right. Because how? Oh, he's doing that to you and he's causing your pain and your misfortune. Well, you don't control him.

Right. You control yourself. Or her. Why don't you walk away? So you need to decide what you're going to do to protect yourself. This is deep. Well, it's deep, but it's also, it's behavior 101 if you buy into it. Yeah.

It's the difference of what did they do to me or what am I going to do about it? It really comes down to that. Lori. Oh my God. Look at this. No to that. Lori. Oh my God. Look at this. No, that's true. It's just, it's, I mean, you've heard the expect glass half full, glass half empty. It's just, it's the same dynamic.

Right. Somebody pushed you. Somebody said something. Right. Well, they already did it. The action's done. Right. So what are you going to do?

Roll over and ask them to do it again or pick up go to a different sandbox find a new friend move on with your life and i don't mean to sound patronizing but it's very simplistic yeah well i think this is cool because i think like i do like to have like different moments on call her daddy because sometimes i feel like you we go through our everyday life, especially in Corona. And some of us are in ruts and some of us are like stuck and whatever the fuck we're doing. And it's like this is kind of a cool. I mean, I'm enjoying this episode or talking about this and who knows what will go in and

what won't go in. But I feel like I'm having a therapy session with my mother. It is nice to have reset moments to just re-evaluate everything and everyone in your life i think for me in corona that's something that i really started to look at who is super toxic in my life and why do i still entertain those people maybe everyone after this episode at least something we take is like and i'm even thinking about it even more because i've been thinking about it in corona but i'm like who is in my life and how does every single person in my life make me feel

and who are you giving a lot of your time to because i think in the past i was giving my time to people that were sucking the fucking life out of me and I was getting nothing in return I felt empty and I was giving them everything and then you're kind of like this doesn't seem right but then when you're in a pattern and you keep going with it friendships or romantic it is hard to kind of get out of it I admit I'm not I know I'm saying oh I'm strong and I'm no I've had fucking times where I'm like how do I get out of this because it becomes like I don't I don't know if I have the effort right now to like pick up and get out of here. Do you remember one situation? I know you do.

Okay here we go. And it was pretty serious. you could commit to this relationship. And if this is what you're going to sign up for, you are going to spend the rest of your life trying to help this man get healthy because he is very broken. Yes. And sometimes people do that because they think I love them.

You better look at your construct of what love is. And that was not the way you were raised. That's what I was so, so specific on. It has to be a partnership. It doesn't have to be equal with exactly the same stuff, but it has to balance out always as an equal partnership. And I wanted to scare you at that moment because I meant it. You did.

You will spend your life trying to make him normal. Is that what you want to do? I thought you had a few other things on your list. And he will suck every piece of oxygen out of the air every time you're with him. And I was, remember it? This is. Are you getting chills? This is verbatim what my mother said to me.

Yeah. So I just, I will support your decision because you know me, I'm almost to a fault that I don't interfere once you become an adult. Right. Because I feel like i've given you the foundation but i i i did want you to know what you were signing up for i will never forget that moment it's interesting you're bringing this up because i don't know if it aired last week or is now airing this week on panna's part two i talked about how I had a phase after college where I kind of lost myself and I remember kind of

distancing myself from you and dad because I knew you guys knew I wasn't doing what I wanted to do with my life yes I had just won my silent film award yep in my senior year i was killing it in the film program at boston and then i graduated and all of a sudden everything i had done my entire life all of a sudden just kind of stopped and i became a girlfriend and i remember distancing myself because i was too it was almost like i was just too ashamed because i knew how you guys knew what i really was and i was so in this vortex of being a girlfriend that i kind of lost myself for a minute and i remember and this will go in a fucking book one day but really what ended up happening that is for another story but the point is finally i remember

you and dad being like where the fuck is alex cooper where the fuck is the girl that grew up in our basement yes making movies yes went to high school continued to make movies went to college for film and television won the silent film award right like where is she because we barely could hold you back when you were a young girl trying to fucking leave and be like i'm not going to high school i'm not going to college i'm going to fucking hollywood and you're like no we're going to give you a normal life and then you gave me a normal life and i'm so grateful and i went to college and i did all of it and then i'm like what am i fucking doing and it really was the scariest moment for me too like i almost lost

myself there to be like mailing it in. I'll have money and I'll have a guy that kind of treats me like a fucking piece of shit. And I'm literally trying to help this man through his family trauma and all the things. But what do I get? And I was kicking myself because I had taught you how to do, you know, good intervention. Right. With right. And you're like, Alex, you can't save this person like okay now and that is where i do i do love you and dad for finally stepping in when it got so dark and you were like where the fuck is she and literally once that happened call her daddy was made in less than like three months well because that the minute you came out i woke up you you woke up yeah you woke up i was like what the fuck i knew I knew who you were and all of that.

And remember that? I'm not just saying this to make it sound right, but I didn't even dislike. I liked that person. No, no. I liked him. It was. Yeah. But that wasn't the issue.

Yeah. It wasn't right. That wasn't the issue. The dynamic was very off. Yeah. Very off. You know? Yeah.

And I think when you get in a situation where someone is so emotionally reliant on you like you said you almost taught me to do that but then i got to the point where again i'm saying and this goes back to daddy getting everything we said this whole episode what was i getting and what was he getting and most importantly you were losing yourself right so i wasn't the best version of myself and i was not the best version of yourself so i think that the point is is like you find people daddy gang and you shouldn't feel i feel like so many girls are like i regret this and i oh my god he was such a dick even if you got cheated on you were sitting there in the darkest point of your life because one day I will tell the story of what really fucking happened to me

in one of my breakups and it was the most unbelievable situation and it included garbage bags it's a movie it is the most unbelievable thing that my parents had to get involved and as much in that moment as i was so distraught when i look back i wouldn't change one thing about what happened no because i wouldn't be sitting in this fucking chair right now having my hundredth episode with my goddamn mother on the call her daddy podcast the call her daddy podcast may not even exist had the garbage bag situation had not happened. It absolutely would not. And that is my mantra also to you. If you went through that hell, but you're in a good spot now. Yeah. Don't regret that.

Yeah. You learned from it. Yeah. It's it's it's hard to do in the moment. But that's why I always I keep saying it on my show and I brought it up. I started thinking about it on the show and I keep telling people look at it from a third party point of view. Everyone when you watch people going through a breakup, you're always like, oh my God,

you're going to get stronger than ever. It's kind of true. You learn something that you hated or loved and now you're moving on to be bigger and better. And how many times? Come on. It's totally normal for your age group. Right.

Everybody sits around and you listen to these stories and you go, oh, I do it that way oh I wouldn't get burnt like that I would never get cheated on Alex talks about getting cheated on so much she really overemphasizes getting cheated on okay that's what I'm talking about vulnerability if you always are looking at it like oh I'm not gonna that's not gonna happen to me you're not living this process fully yeah you're gonna get shortchanged right I mean you gotta go through this hello this has been honestly I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am I feel like I just got a free therapy session from my mother god I hope they're okay with this I feel like I'm sitting in in the the office of the psychologist I work for and we're talking about cases sorry no no but i

think i don't know i mean listen if they hated it you're my mother they can't hate you so it's like you're not a podcaster but i do i think that this is something i was thinking about and i want you to take a minute to think about this no pressure but to wrap this episode up yeah because we've gone all over well I didn't know where I have no I had no idea I honestly just blacked out um I wish I could do that you guys talk about about blacking out and going to holes I can't black out mom you shouldn't be blacking out at that age. That's not a good sign. But it sounds nice.

It is nice. It's like you get to go away and you come back and there's no responsibility. No, it's nice. God. Okay, to get deep here, Lori. Yeah. Oh, like we haven't. No, we haven't.

No. To finish this and to kind of wrap it up up as much as we're kind of talking about me and you and and and how i was raised and giving your insight i want to ask you a very specific question that i was trying to figure out how to say it for a while and i think i have it that i hopefully think will wrap it all up for just this 100th episode of like if you could tell the daddy gang as my mother who they're not always interested in it's usually the dad's opinion right the dad you want to get no no no the mom. No, no, I'm giving you the mom. Daddy gang does. Daddy gang. Daddy gang cares about you. As my mother, what would you tell the daddy gang about me

that you think, because I have an online relationship with them, they would never really truly know about me. But as my mother, you know about me but as my mother you know about me and my character like what do you want them to know about me take a minute wow i mean i don't need i i honestly don't even need a moment to to know what i want to tell them i just have to collect the thoughts i I need about an hour. Right. You're not a podcaster. We're here for you. Okay. We'll wait. Well, I want people to know that you were raised with very high moral and ethical principles. Yeah. I mean, as a parent,

I'm most proud that when your integrity and your character were challenged, you did the right thing. Spent a lot of shit flying around. And, well, you may end up cutting this out, but the entire story of the factors leading up to the dispute most likely will never be told, Alex. Yeah. Unless you're given no choice. And I don't think they should because that's not how we raised you.

Right. But when you were facing the potential of significant loss to your career, I want people to know you were a supportive, loyal, and caring friend first until all the other options were exhausted. And I'm not talking about the contracts and the negotiations. I'm talking about the individuals you cared about, their personal struggles. So I guess this is kind of my long-winded way of saying I want people who don't know you

personally to know you're a good decent and strong young woman and that's what I'm most proud of Alex damn it's that fuck daddy game mom i'm done fuck this is getting so deep and fuck thank you mom thank you i i mean i that that's the closing statement i don't need to say thank you my mother i don't have to do this no you're done you're officially done laurie cooper you've graced the daddy king with their presence you've gripped the fuck out of that microphone it's broken um thank you mom thank you for coming on that honestly i i couldn't have asked for a better guest and i don't think i will ever have a better guest oh well they may be easier oh my god they may be here to podcast with but no that was amazing Lori Cooper okay what does that say

you're crying and I want to vomit so maybe that's our relationship Alex I don't know daddy fucking gang you just heard from my mother and now it's your father speaking which is confusing to say in my hometown house because my dad is like are you calling for me i'm like no dad i'm the father in this home daddy gang you know the motherfucking drill that is it i don't need to see one more fucking thing i will see you fuckers next one all right daddy gang that is it for this week's re-released episode of Call Her Daddy. I hope you feel like you are a little closer to the Coopers this week. I hope you feel a little bit closer to me, closer to my mother. I hope you learned something. I hope you enjoyed it.

So Daddy Gang, like I promised you, I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. you