Call Her Daddy - My Ex Sent My Family My Nudes

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

Join Father Cooper this week for a SOLO episode. Alex tells us what REALLY happened on her recent trip to NYC. We find out the drama that went down after her interview with Julia Fox. And with the Super Bowl in LA last weekend, Alex takes the opportunity to expose a Bengals player for cheating and her ex for sharing nudes with her family…TUNE IN FOR THE TEA! 

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy oh my god thank fucking god we're fucking back hello hello hello we are back for another episode of Call Her Daddy. Finally, finally, the moment we've all been waiting for, a solo episode. I missed you. Hi. I feel like it's been so long since we just like sat down, had a little chat, spilled a little tea. You guys listened last week to the Julia Fox interview. But now I'm going to take you guys behind the scenes, kind of like a vlog style. And you're going to hear the hilarious shit that was going on in my life on that trip in New York two weeks ago. I'm going to take you guys behind the scenes, kind of like a vlog style. And you're going to hear the hilarious shit that was going on in my life on that trip in New York two weeks ago. Hello? Fuck. I'm about to podcast from bed. Bitches, work from home.

Sunday morning rain is full. I've been awake for a while now. Hi guys. I'm currently laying in my hotel room in New York City, but let's rewind. I flew to New York last Sunday, okay? But on Saturday night, I got so belligerent. Not on purpose, but my boyfriend and I had been meaning to go out with this couple for a long time and we just it's one of those that you just keep trying to get on the books and it never gets on the books because I don't even fucking own a book so we kept trying to go to dinner with this couple the guy in the relationship I used to have a poster of his face on my wall in middle school and high school and you were obsessed with him too. And you still are obsessed with him. So we go to dinner with this couple and it was so fun.

We have so much fun. We're drinking. They bring two other friends and it's just like a big group of people and we are raging our faces off. And one thing leads to another. And I was drinking tequila on the rocks, Casamigos Reposado on the rocks. My boyfriend has turned me into a full alcoholic. Before I met him, something on the rocks to me. I was like, that sounds really hard to ingest and consume. I definitely was like throwing a splash of fucking crayon or soda or tonic.

And now I'm just going for the hard stuff. I start drinking, we get hammered. But this is Saturday night. And I have to get up at 5am in the morning to get on my flight to New York City. That's probably the worst damage you can ever do to yourself. And the worst situation you could put yourself in is being hung over on a five plus hour flight. I was blackout. I don't even remember getting home. I think I like half packed. And then I wake up in the morning to the sound of my alarm. I'm sobbing. I'm like, oh my God, I can't do this. Like I need to push my flight back. Like this is, it's not in the cards. Like it's not in the cards for me to get on a flight right now. I'm still

drunk. My boyfriend is such a trooper. He pushes me out the door. He says, Asa Lueko, motherfucker, get on your flight. You got business to do. And usually I'm a Delta gal. But this time, I don't know whose idea it was because I'm not going to throw you under the bus. You know who you are. My assistant and I were talking and even some of my other employees they were like I'm pretty sure JetBlue's bed laying seats or whatever in their airplanes are like really really like new and good and I'm like no nothing can be better than Delta so I get on JetBlue and I can already tell I don't fuck with it it's a little mustier than Delta the whole situation I don't even want to fucking go through it because it's just gonna make me mad again so we land on the tarmac New York I sit on the tarmac for two hours

and I really wanted to go and get to my hotel room that night one because I was so fucking exhausted And I still felt my hangover But the other part was I wanted to get back to my hotel room because the rams were playing the 49ers If the rams won this game, then i'll go to the super bowl, which would be fucking cool I've never been to a super bowl and like going to a bar in new york city. It's fun, you know and watching a game So i'm on the tarmac. That's not looking fucking promising for me to get to the fucking game at the bar. Finally, we get off. I'm ready to fucking lose my shit. And I go down to baggage claim. I felt less alone because Nikki Hilton was

on my flight. And people were like, Nikki Hilton flies private. Nikki Hilton was not on your flight. Yes, she was because she was holding a bag with the initials NH. And I saw her face because she pulled her mask down to take a sip of water. And it's Nikki Hilton, which I was like, respect. Alex, you're a multi-millionaire. Why don't you just fly on a private plane? Because I'm not a fucking idiot. When you see these influencers taking these private planes, half of these influencers that you see flexing with these private planes will be broke by 35. Do you guys remember when I talked about it? I was like, I've never been on a private plane my whole life. Shocking. I know I never fucked to get on one.

It's not that I didn't try. It just never happened. And so I got myself a private plane for my birthday when I went to Vegas with all my friends. And I remember when the plane landed and everyone was like, whoa, that was so fun. And then afterwards, my brother was kind of looking at me and he was like, how was it? Like, did you have fun? And I just looked at him and I was like, that was the biggest waste of fucking money I've ever fucking spent in my entire life. I will never fucking do that again. Totally happy I did it. I wouldn't take it back. I. Totally happy I did it.

I wouldn't take it back. I'm so happy I did it. I'm so happy I balled out for myself. But when I tell you, it is the dumbest. It's all for a flex. Like the people, this is it. The people that go on private planes and that will not be broke are the people

that you don't even know they're on private planes because they don't feel the need to post about it because it's as if they're getting in their fucking car. It's that casual for them because they're a fucking billionaire. The people that are posting that are influencers that are going. And again, it's one thing if they're like getting to go for free. I know people that are paying for these private jets to go everywhere. Cabo, Vegas, they will be broke. Let me be so clear. I've got a fucking retirement plan. Okay. So when people are like, why don't you fly private? Because I'm not a fucking moron when it comes to my money. So Nikki Hilton takes her bag and she plops her ass down and is just sitting on her bag in baggage claim. Celebrities, they're just like us. It's just cool to see people that are like

that come from that wealth. And yes, she see she's flying fucking economy. Go fuck yourselves. So we're all sitting there baggage claim. People were literally screaming, crying. People were exhausted. Like it was getting awful. Let me read you the headline that came out the next day. Flightmare. Hundreds stuck at JFK. Foiled flyers urinate on seats having panic attacks chaos erupted at jfk's airport sunday night after hundreds of jet blue passengers were stranded on the tarmac for hours hello i would like to go on record and say i was one of those people but i can proudly say that i did not urinate i shit not. I will never be flying jet blue again. Hundreds of fucking planes. People just waiting on the tarmac for hours. Everyone was

just getting royally fucked. I love talking about flying. I love talking about the airlines. Listen to me, daddy gang. Right now in the state of the world, if you're getting on a fucking airplane and if you can fuck for a first class ticket, people have always asked me advice of like, Alex, how do you get guys to pay for your flights in the past? And I'm going to give you my go to be aggressive. OK, taking you back to my mindset when I was younger, I was like, I got to start advocating for myself. OK, I was looking at it at it I'm like these motherfuckers making so much money this motherfucker should be flying me first fucking class so I started like saying that in my text messages the guy would be like oh my god come stay with me sorry I'm going all over the fucking

place today how I would get these flights is the guys would be like oh my god come visit me in Milwaukee I'd be like yeah yeah, totally. Let me know when you're looking at flights and like send me a few options and I'll tell you what works best for me. That is what you're going to write. When the guy is like, yes, I'm so excited. And you're like, yes, let's do it. You verbatim write, send me flight options, and I will let you know which works for my schedule. Can't wait. Smiley face. Boom. You are putting it on them. These men with these egos, it doesn't have to be a fucking athlete. Any guy that makes a lot of fucking money, they now have to decide if they are going to have the balls to step the fuck up and pay for your

flight. What are they going to say? Oh, no, I can't pay for this. That's what I always felt. And I remember I got feedback from some guys afterwards being like, no, you were ballsy. You just put it out there. And what was I going to do? Be like, no, I knew you were in college. You didn't have the fucking funds. No shit, I'm not going to make you pay for it. But being aggressive in those moments sometimes throws guys off and they're like, whoa. And then the next time he won't even fucking ask, he'll just send you a screenshot of a couple Delta options. I'm going to go eat. I just ordered a pliable. Love that for me. I have a big day tomorrow. I'm interviewing Julia Fox, which should be very, very interesting. But I will jump back on tomorrow and I will update to give you guys an update on my trip to New York right now. So it is Wednesday and I am sitting in the lobby. I have a herniated disc in my back.

So after the Julia Fox interview, she said, wait, how long are you in town? And I said, oh, I'm here till like Friday. And she was like, oh my God, you should come to my birthday party at Lucienne it's gonna be a dinner and I was like oh my god yeah that would be so much fun cool and she was like can I get your number and I was like yes of course I give her my number she texts me perfect she walks out the door and I never heard from her again okay so that was on Monday okay okay daddy gang it is now wednesday and it is the morning of when i'm supposedly going to her party now if you got invited to julia fox's birthday party and you know kanye west is going to be there and you know all these who fucking madonna could

be there you're gonna plan an outfit right you're gonna make sure you get hair and makeup ready nails done i'm not gonna wear sweatpants and so i start calling all the calls and i'm like hey can you get me this outfit i'm shopping i'm at prada alex is not gonna show up in her little aritzia or ann taylor get up kanye he's like oh like where is this from i'm like it's aritzia fall 2021 so i'm like i need to step up my game so i'm at fucking i'm at prada and i try on these like swishy cool pants i'm trying to channel bella hadid i don't know what i'm fucking doing and i tried them on and i'm like yes these are gonna look incredible and then i ask if i can get them tailored okay i wake up this morning it is julia's birthday there is a chance this girl never texts me it's her birthday i'm sure she's getting you know madonna's texting her i actually just on her

instagram story she got a car like life is really going well for her and i'm sitting here with my herniated disc waiting for a text now i want to know what you would do ready if someone looked at you and said you should come to my birthday party. It's at Lucienne on Wednesday night. Here, can I have your number? You are like, okay, you got the invite. But I refuse to just roll up to Lucienne tonight, buy my fucking lonesome in my tailored piranha pants and be like waving outside like Julia, Julia.

And I'm like one with the fans that are looking in. And she's like, I don't know who that is. Security. I got the verbal invite, but I am not going to go and just show up at Lucienne without an actual written follow up secondary invite. Would you just show up and go or would you wait for another text so I texted this morning obviously happy birthday and I was like let me know what time tonight anyways that's my predicament right now I'm I'm really unsure what's gonna happen but

the gist is this is an opportunity to podcast about So I guess I am doing this for work. Julia's like, um, Alex, why do you keep taking your microphone out at the table? I'm like, sorry, I'm just here to podcast. I wanted to go because I thought it would make for a great mini. It would entertain you guys. But now, I mean, I guess single-handedly,

this may be even more entertaining if I get stood up by Julia fucking Fox and I get disinvited somehow to the birthday maybe she just isn't a good texter do i show up to lucienne tonight i'm not a fucking social moron my anxiety it wouldn't even allow me to get my nails painted in preparation unless by like five o'clock i get a text message. So five o'clock I think is the deadline. Would anyone be interested in buying a pair of Prada pants? Let me know. Overall the anxiety is low but the uncertainty is high. It's 10 59 a.m. I texted her about... Let's check when I texted her. I texted her at 8.54, so two hours ago this morning.

Saw she's posting on Instagram. But again, we could hope that it's an assistant reposting. You know what I mean? She could also be already in hair and makeup. That eyeliner, it's the whole day process the possibilities are endless it probably says in my contact it's coming up as maybe alex cooper juliet's me anyways i'll keep you guys updated okay bye wait guys okay i'm late i'm sitting here still talking about it. And I was like, oh, my God.

Like, I just tried on my outfit, and it's so cute. It's a great outfit. Chrome hearts jeans. Vivienne Westwood corset. My tits look incredible. If someone doesn't want to be friends with you, why would you want to be friends with them? Say it with me, everyone. But be friends with them say it with me everyone but really alex say it to your fucking self i'm realizing i may have to switch up my catchphrase

because i'm not gonna listen to that right now i'm going i am i'm about to do my interview also with this woman who like is like such like a motivational speaker and i'm gonna turn the entire interview she's about to sit down and be like, before we get into helping the daddy gang, I need some advice. What would you say to someone that's feeling like a little bit down because it got invited to a birthday party verbally, but they never got the text confirmation.

So then they're kind of like on edge about whether they should show up or not. Like, what would you say? And she's probably going to look at me and say, I wouldn't go, you know, like if you don't hear from them again. And I'm like, yeah, but couldn't we bend the rule? Please. Also, just because I just saw my outfit and it's fire it's really cute i want to wear it and i just said to my producer well if i get stood up tonight like at least we can hang

and she looked at me and she was like no you got me a reservation at carbona i'm going with my friend so i'm gonna be literally fucking by myself and eileen i texted eileen eileen was like out of commission because she was like had something i have no one to hang out with so i will be in my bed getting high watching her stories i'm gonna be like just sitting refreshing her page just watching what i'm fucking missing okay bye this is the general consensus so far also last time i talked to you guys it was like 10 something it's now just 11 like nothing has nothing's really shifted i'm just having all these thought processes i'm leaning towards i'm not going it's um 11 46 now i'm now realizing i may

not be going trust me i'm not gonna triple text or double text this is my seventh one i will knock it off after seven it's gonna be one for the ages either way i either got ghosted by julia fox or i get to go to the birthday party should i bring a gift i love how i'm thinking about a gift bitch you weren't invited anyways the next text i'm gonna send her is a selfie of me and my outfit being like is this like kind of the vibe of tonight i literally send her an outfit pic like at five o'clock and i'm like is this the vibe are you going like more dressed up guys life is humbling be grateful for your blessings i have to go do an interview with my motivational speaker. Talk soon. Maybe I'll have a different outlook after I do this interview. I'll come back on after.

Okay. The interview ended. I'm about to look at my phone. Let's see if she texted me. No. No text. Okay, guys, it's fine. I had a great interview i it's totally fine it's totally fine it's 225 no text goodbye um what's that i you know i always do the new york now what do I do for LA? Ooh, a little Miley. Hopped off the plane at LAX. Nope, nope, nope. California girls were unforgettable. Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be. Really? Guys, I'm back in LA and I am here to confirm that I did not go to the birthday party. I remain Birkin-less. Julia went to Lucienne without me, but they all went. It did in fact happen. And I was in fact ghosted by Julia Fox. My biggest takeaway from all of this is it would have been fun. It would have been fun to get a Birkin maybe I would have had Kanye sign it yay sorry yay sign it but I have an episode for you

fuckers so be grateful but the reason I didn't go to the birthday party aside from her never texting me I have self-awareness okay I have self-awareness and even though I know I'm gonna get some dms from the assholes being like, you're a fucking loser. It may be even funnier that I didn't go. But I also want to confirm if I did get that text at 10 p.m., I absolutely would have gotten it together and head over to Lucienne, put on my latex and showed the fuck up. This is true.

But again, what is also true is I have self-awareness. A verbal invite, folks, is not enough. And a follow-up text is 100% mandatory. I would firmly, officially, I would like to clear my name though. When I was back in LA and I released the episode, Julia did DM me. She slid in the DMs and she thanked me for having her on the show. So you know what? Shout out, Julia. Sorry about the breakup. Wish you both the best. So let's really now kind of sit back, relax and have a reflection moment. A little retrospective like, oh, that's a really good takeaway. There's always a good takeaway. You get cheated on.

Takeaway. You wake up from a night of drinking and realize you send your ex 58 texts. Takeaway. There's always going to be a takeaway. So today's lesson, self-awareness. At any point while listening to me spiral throughout this episode, I want you to think to yourself, did you ever think, Alex, just go. Alex, go to the fucking party. Yes, she technically isn't texting you back and she's quote unquote ghosting you, but you got the verbal invite. You know where the party is. She's the one that asked for your phone number. She's the one that texted you first. She said, come to my party at Lucy Yen. Just show up. Just go.

And what I would say that is absolutely not. If that thought ran through your mind at any point listening to this episode, then you absolutely need to sit the fuck down and listen the fuck up because you need a lesson in self-awareness. So how do we get more self-aware? Here's an example. Maybe you've been noticing that within your larger group of girlfriends, there will sometimes be smaller hangouts that are going on that you're not invited to. Or you keep having to be the one to reach out to your friends and they're really never the ones like actively inviting you. You have to be like, hey guys, what are you doing? Like, where are we going? And they're never texting you. There is a huge chance that these friends are not wanting to actively invite you, sadly, because

you lack self-awareness and no one wants to hang out with someone who isn't self-aware. Here's what your friends are probably thinking. She's always talking over everyone. It's so fucking annoying. Or she never asks us about our lives she's always just talking about herself she acts like she's in on the joke that she wasn't even there for why is she laughing she doesn't even know what we're talking about she's like not even paying attention that's not funny you don't even know what we're talking about she hijacks conversations she brings something up that makes someone uncomfortable and she doesn't even realize it and she keeps going. All of these examples are what society would deem as someone who is not able to read a

room, aka someone who is not self-aware. The good news is self-awareness can be improved. Basically, it's like be in fucking tune with your emotions and then you will eventually become self-aware. How do you do this? Example, maybe you're feeling like super fucking anxious that you're not like close to the girls in the group. All these girls have been friends since childhood. You're kind of a new girl in your 20s

that has entered this friend group and you're feeling insecure that you're not as close with these girls if you're not in touch with your emotions in this case feeling insecure and as a result probably anxious it's gonna be harder to navigate social situations when you're anxious and insecure maybe you personally have a tendency to ramble. You get loud as fuck. You're word vomiting all over the party. You're being annoying and no one is going to want to hang out with you. But someone that's self-aware in this situation would be aware of their insecurity and know in these situations, I have a tendency to not shut the fuck up. So I'm going to make sure I check myself and not do that today, whether that's at the pregame, the dinner, the girls drinks,

whatever it is. So step one towards gaining self-awareness, force yourself to acknowledge how you're feeling in any given moment. So now we're in touch with our emotions. Love that. But self awareness is a two way street. So step two, be aware of how your words and your actions are being received by other people, aka what the fuck is the homie across from you doing while you're talking. I have this thing about self-awareness. There are conversations to be had with just your parents. You can brag to your mom. You can talk about it for 12 fucking hours on the phone to her. And then there are conversations for public consumption. Okay. And if you're not able to differentiate that, you're not self-aware. If you're going to a fucking brunch with your friend who is making way less fucking money than you and you show up and you're bragging

about your trip to Ibiza and she's kind of just like lightly nodding her head oh I'm so happy you had a good time then you know she hasn't been on a fucking vacation for five fucking years and she's like shut your mouth but again self-awareness is if your friend's like bitch I want to hear everything I want to live through you. Yes. Proceed to show her your amazing photos. She's interested. But if you've already posted 14 photos from Ibiza on Instagram, you need to be self-aware enough to know she saw them and she's not asking about them because she doesn't want

to talk about it. So neither should you. You have to look at the nonverbal and the verbal cues. And when I say that, it's like, okay, picture yourself sitting there. You bring something up about your boyfriend and your friend is fucking single. Johnny does this. Johnny does that. Johnny and I love, we're going to get a house. We're going to do this. And then slowly throughout the conversation, you're so wrapped up in your own shit that you are not recognizing that your friend is over there sipping her drink and hasn't said a word for 10 fucking minutes. And that's the point. I'm saying conversation. Are you giving the person across

from you the chance to even being in the conversation? The truth is, is we are all wrapped up in our own shit. That's a fact. And so you need to be self-aware enough to recognize half the time that you're going to say something out loud. No one gives a fuck. Literally no one gives a fuck, but your fucking mother. You know, that's why when you're so desperate, you're like, I need to tell someone you're like, fine, I'll call my mom. Your mom will sit on the phone with you for three hours listening. Go ahead, sweetie. She's like having the time of her life that you're finally calling her. And I'm saying mom, cause that's it for me. But maybe it's your dad. Maybe it's your aunt. Maybe it's your sister, your brother, whatever it is for you. This is also maybe one of the biggest points of someone

that is self-aware when you're at dinner, when you're at coffee, when you're on a date. Are you asking the other person questions? If the answer is no, that's not a great sign. That is a lack of self-awareness recognizing, hey, there's two people engaging in this conversation or there's six people at the table and you haven't asked one person how their weekend was or how their fucking Christmas break was. If you're not asking questions, there's a fucking problem. So next time you're going out, ask yourself these questions. How do I act in social situations? How do people react to me?

Do I find myself being greeted with enthusiasm? Do people include me in group activities or avoid me? All of these questions will give you cues about your attitude and the room that you have to improve your self-awareness. not sure if you're all aware but the super bowl was last weekend and it was in la i partied i went to the game and you're about to hear me tell you all about it. Enjoy. Hello, Daddy Yang. I am in my bed, naked, vulnerable. You know, when you wake up and you still have a wristband on from the night before that, like, of somewhere you went. What is this?

I don't remember going there so last night kazzy and i were pre-gaming and getting ready together if you guys remember i had kazzy david on the show she's funny by association of her father larry david just kidding kazzy's gonna be like fuck you it's currently super bowl weekend and it was Friday night we're like let's go out to this party my outfit was very sexy recently all I've been wearing is sweatpants or and I love you daddy gang because you'll call me out for like a little stint there in like any photo shoot I was doing any press I was doing i've been wearing suits like blazers like matching top and bottom blazers is that yeah suits and finally someone fucking

commented hey alex like i love you you're such a business woman rah rah go girl enough with the blazers and the suit she's like you're not 40 like you gotta embrace like being youthful right now stop fucking wearing blazers so kazzy comes over the plan was i forget what the party was called but it was getting called two different things one it was like the justin bieber party and slash revolve party there's this thing where like revolve throws these huge parties if you guys have never been to one neither have i i've avoided them like for the most part this is how it works what i've been told is they send you a revolve outfit and then you have these social requirements. Like, you're going to get to wear the outfit, and you get to go to the event,

but you have to post 17 Instagram stories and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you have, like, social media requirements. The Justin Bieber part sounds fun. He's going to perform. Cassie does not want to go to this party. She's like, this does does not want to go to this party she's like this does not sound fun to me let's just go to this party for a little bit and then we're gonna go to this house party that she wanted to go to and i was like totally fair the reason that i wanted to go to this party was because there was a couple people that i wanted to see there that may potentially

come on the podcast and use it kind of just like as a network opportunity so we show up i don't know if you guys know what the pacific design center is i didn't either but you walk into this thing and it's literally you're in like a terminal like i was like oh we're in terminal a no one's flying anywhere not to get anyone confused saying i'm doing a fucking shit job of explaining this but it was such a huge place it looked like a fucking airport terminal I was there for a total of 10 minutes I think I saw every single human being that's ever been on The Bachelor and I I think I saw every outfit I've ever seen on Revolve which was good it was almost like an in-person shopping opportunity anyway so Kazzy and I are like we gotta go to the bathroom and we jet out of there we go to this

other party and it's a really different vibe like this is like a mansion in the hills kind of party I walk in one of the I don't know if I'm supposed to say this in Hollywood to like say who you saw at a party don't care I saw Emily Ratajikowski which was very fun she was with her husband that was nice to see them rob pattinson it was actually nice to like get to see emily because after we had podcasted we'd be like oh yes we should hang out after but obviously she lives in new york and it was nice to reconnect kristen stewart was there who else was there paris jackson stassi baby um who else was there why would someone be mowing the lawn on a saturday morning i saw i will admit like i think one tiktoker that was a little scary so we get fucked up out of our minds at this house party. Fucking hammered. So we're to blackout real fucking quick.

I don't know. Post-pandemic reintegration in the world. It's like exciting, but also I have social anxiety. So anyways, I went to two events this week because my New Year's resolution was two things. Number one, well, that's I already fucked that up. My New Year's resolution was that I was going to at least try to work out once a week and just start moving my body in any capacity I made this resolution in Hawaii my boyfriend like we were sitting on the beach my boyfriend and I were like let's come up with our new year's resolutions these were my two number one was to work out once a week the minute

I got back from Hawaii it was game time I. I have not worked out. That was number one. Number two was to put myself out there more socially this year. And so this week I've done that. Overall right now, it's a Saturday morning. I have no idea where my boyfriend is. I came in pretty drunk last night. So today I'm going to try to hang out with my child. His name is Henry. And then on Sunday, I am going to the Super Bowl. I've never been to a Super Bowl. Oh, you know who's playing in the Super Bowl is the Rams and they're playing the Bengals. And I have a really interesting story about the Bengals. So this is, I don't know if I'm going to want to, maybe I'll want to podcast with this with like a microphone because this is like a pretty wild story.

So back in the day, right after Slim Shady and I broke up, it was the biggest breakup moment. What I've alluded to with like the trash bags and the texting of the parents and like it got really bad and so I moved into a new apartment after we broke up and so I started talking to this guy on the bangles and immediately was kind of just like you know like when you're fresh off a breakup and like you're like fuck it like I need And like, you can either go ghost. Like, you can either talk to no one or you start just talking to everyone and like trying to take your mind off it, which is like now in hindsight, like I was just trying to numb the pain.

But like, whatever. Like, I just like wanted a guy to talk to because you go from living with someone, talking to someone every day. You're like, okay, I'm just going to fucking start talking to whoever I can fucking find. And so I start talking to this bangles guy and I will be honest, things turn sexual quickly, like sending nudes back and forth, sexting. It was one of those relationships, like sexually just like keeping each other afloat because he had also recently broken up with his girlfriend. Okay. So we are talking talking turns out that this bangles player and i really will never know the true story this bangles guy apparently had a girlfriend that thought that

they were still dating now that was my understanding they probably were still dating now knowing how these athletes move but from my understanding he was like we're broken up and i mean like she's still we're trying to figure it out basically like we're broken up but like who knows and like whatever and i was like okay cool like here's a pussy pic so we're sexting and i guess his ex girlfriend or current girlfriend clearly unknown goes over to his house and goes through his ipad while he was away and he ended up saying like she still had keys to my house i'm like i think this is probably your girlfriend but i get it if you're like on and off and like whatever so she goes through his ipad and finds my naked photos lovely blackmail and so apparently this girl also played college soccer and then

this is what she decided to do instead of realizing oh hey i'm reading through these text message and my boyfriend if that was clear or my ex whatever is sexting alex cooper that's probably on your boyfriend because from my understanding like he literally said you guys are fully broken up okay and the only reason i knew they were dating is because there was still a photo of her on his instagram way down and i was like oh you still got a girlfriend like i was joking he was like no that's like my ex like we had a long history we broke up but like she gets really upset so i'm kind of like waning off of deleting pictures with her this is why you know men are so trash like he's probably still fully dating her but this is what he was telling me i'm off a breakup like i'm not fucking doing hardcore investigating

i asked why i did my dues i asked is that your girlfriend he said no they never post anything together she hadn't been posting with him i was like, so she finds my naked titty pics on his iPad. Instead of confronting her boyfriend or even DMing me, being like, hey girl, that's my boyfriend, she decides to slide into Slim Shady's DMs. This girl finds out that her boyfriend and I are sexting and fucking DMs my ex-boyfriend at the time thinking we're still dating and DMs him and goes, hey, are you dating Alex Cooper? Interesting enough, her nudes are in my boyfriend's text messages. As we go on. So guess what Slim shady does slim shady instead of being like oh well we're broken

up she can do whatever the fuck she wants because we're broken up because i was doing that with my nutritionist i was sending her my little wiener like that's why we broke up I cheated okay instead of doing that be like no we're broken up he begins to not only message her back being like wow no we did just break up but like she's a shady human like you should come visit me in Dallas then the two of them start shadily conspiring and being like let's get back at them and hook up together and so the bangles player calls me it's like hey my my crazy ex is actually now in cahoots with your fucking ex and my crazy ex is calling me screaming crying but she's saying she may go to dallas to get revenge but i know she'll never do that blah blah blah okay it gets. So they're doing that. I then get a screenshot from my mom and my brother that Slim Shady put my mom and my brother in a group chat and says, I was right. I'm so happy we broke up.

Your sister and your daughter is such a fucking whore she's already sending nudes to bleep a football player so I'm broken up with this guy he cheated on me and now he finds out

I've moved on and I'm talking to a new guy and he decides to put my family in a fucking group chat and tell them that I'm sending fucking nudes to this fucking dude even though he was doing that while we were dating bro we're broken up there's no loyalty anymore I'm allowed to go fuck someone in front of your fucking family if I wanted to my brother almost lost his fucking mind and I think he was ready to get in I don don't know what he was ready to do, but like it was, he was so fucking upset because I'm sorry if you get a fucking message from someone like that, you're like sister sending

nudes, like that's not what you want to hear. Okay. And they're like, is this true? And I was like, no, he's just drama. I'm like, no, no, I'm not going to tell my brother that I'm fucking sending a football player some nudes. What ended up happening is I text some shady and I was like, you are the saddest excuse for a human being. Like, bro, we broke up. You're

pissed at me for doing what you did while we were in a committed relationship. Ooh, it stings. And then he blocks me. And then he starts emailing me about how I'm a slut and I'm like we are broken up ends up the bangles player and I continue to just kind of talk and it's always so sad with these dudes because they always go on about like you know like our sex life isn't good and like I it's just like it's just not who I want they're married daddy gang I eventually stopped talking to him because I met him in person and like literally no shade to him I just realized I wasn't really actually attracted to him it's like oh you send him the nudes Alex and then you meet him in person and then you decide you're not attracted to him really cute guy just like physically wasn't I don't't know, the connection just like wasn't there.

You know, you can just tell, you know. A few months later, they got back together and they are now married. And then I went on my Instagram the other day because I was like, oh my God, the Bengals are in the Super Bowl. I wonder what he's up to. Like maybe I'll see him on the field. He's fully married with that girl. They got married. They ended up getting married. The one that he was fully bitching about how awful their sex life is. And they have a child. You know, life takes a course. Life takes a course.

Life takes an angle. The point is, is that the Bengals are playing the Rams in the Super Bowl. And I'm going. Hey, guys. It's Alex. I'm at the Super Bowl. The big takeaway from the Super Bowl is that I am sexually attracted to Eminem.

Bye.