Call Her Daddy - My First Professional Athlete (ft. Boston Red Sox)

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

Join Alex in the studio for a very special, full circle solo episode. The Boston Red Sox have invited Alex to throw the first pitch at Fenway Park, but little do they know she and the Red Sox go wayyyy back. Alex shares a story from the vault about her first ever professional athlete and how their whirlwind romance completely took over her life at BU. From making out on the bar, to following grown men into the bathroom, to doing whatever it took to get into the family and friends section at the ballpark… this episode is a wild ride full of twists, turns, and a little bit of delusion. Alex takes us on a hilarious trip down memory lane, discussing some of the most unhinged things she did to keep this man’s attention, and reminisces on how she ultimately flipped the script and took back the power in the relationship. Enjoy!

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy welcome back to another episode of call her daddy next week i am going to be doing something that will probably piss a lot of my exes off not that I haven't already done that enough on this show, but this truly, this feels like, feels like the icing on the cake. It feels like the cherry on top to all of my ex baseball lovers, the ones who pitched, the ones who caught the balls, the ones who hit, never the bench riders. I never fucking soup that low. But to all my men in uniform, this one is for you. I am officially the owner of a major league baseball team. You work for me now, bitches.

I'm fucking kidding, obviously. I'm going to need a couple more deals before I can even get there. But a girl can dream. But I actually do have an announcement to make today. I have officially been invited by the Boston Red Sox to throw out the first pitch for a game at Fenway Park. And to top it all off, I will be hosting an unwell party on top of the Green Monster. Not only am I going back to my old stomping grounds, I am bringing the daddy gang with me. So you may be wondering like, how did this come about? How did this happen? So basically the Red

Sox organization reached out to my company after they saw our first Unwell event in Austin, Texas, which was one of the best parties I've ever been to, if I do say so myself. And they basically reached out and said, we want Alex and Unwell to do an event here in Boston with us. Now, are they aware of my history within their organization? I don't know. But by the time this episode's come out, it'll be too late for them to rescind the offer. If you are OG here, you are very aware that I have quite the history with the city of Boston, specifically the Red Sox organization, and most importantly, the players, or I guess one in particular. So let's go back to the beginning where it all started. Boston. When did I go to college? It was Boston. Oh my God. 2013. Oh my fucking God. It's been, wait, 20, 20, 20, I'm saying that's 11 years? 11 years? Is that 11 years? No wonder they invited me back. Everyone that I was fucking with is either retired or dead. God bless and good night. They're like, we don't even know who you're talking about. Perfect. Can't get sued. Let's do it. Relax, get your snacks ready and a bottle of wine because I'm about to tell you the tale of a young small town girl who showed up to college and found herself in a whirlwind romance with none other than a Red Sox player.

So let's get into it. Let me mentally prepare you that this is a story of new beginnings, first loves, fairy tale experiences, humiliation, trauma, heartbreak, deceit, lies, and agony. Are you ready, Daddy Gang? Here we go. So I was a freshman in college at Boston University and I was in my dorm room. I remember I was like writing a paper for finals for some class or attempting to write a paper when all of a sudden I heard my entire dorm building erupt with screams. Everyone around campus was going insane, screaming, horns honking,

pots, pans smashing. The Red Sox had just won the World Series. And little did I know, freshman Alex, that a year later, I was going to fall in love with one of those players. I will never forget the day that we met. It was my sophomore year of college and it was Super Bowl weekend. The Patriots were in the Super Bowl. So this was like fucking huge for Boston. And my roommate and I were at the point where we knew if we wanted to have a wild night out, we absolutely had to venture off campus because to be real, we were just getting bored with the college boys. You guys know how it is. As big as a college campus is, you really are just kind of hanging

out with the same group of people weekend after weekend after weekend. And so my roommate and I were naturally looking for more. So we headed downtown and we went to this bar called West End Johnny's. And the minute we walked in, we realized that Bruins players were at the bar. And I have said this before, if you're new here, hockey players have always been my type. Not anymore, but they were back in the day. My dad worked for the NHL growing up. So like hockey players really just did it for me. Okay. So when I saw the Bruins players, my roommate and I immediately were just like so excited. We knew it was going to be a good night. Like professional athletes at a fucking bar in college. Are you fucking kidding me? Like we're drooling. We hit the goddamn gold mine.

So there were about seven to 10 professional hockey players at this point. Nice asses, good hair, probably no teeth, but who cares? Make out with my face. So not long after being there, I remember one of the guys started talking to me. Now, here's the thing. I've always been very strategic about the men I'm going for. Most of the time I meet a man, I already know who he is. He doesn't know who I am, but I know who he is. And so I had seen this guy on social media, probably also on the Bruins roster that I

frequently would peruse whenever I got bored with studying. It was honestly one of my favorite pastimes. Open the Bruins roster, see who's new, see who's fresh meat. Let's get after it. Who do I have my eye on? And this guy was so fucking hot. And I was just so happy to finally meet him in person. I'm talking to this guy. I turned to my left. My roommate is making out with one of the Bruins players up against the bar. She then quickly realizes that he was absolutely married. She's like, is that a

motherfucking ring? He's like, yeah, but like we have off nights. She's like, fuck you. It was just one of those nights. That's just a classic night out. It's going to be fucking amazing. And we're only 30 minutes in. So the vibes are flowing. The drinks are flowing back to me. I'm in the middle of making headway with this gorgeous, long haired, blue eyed Canadian man. And all of a sudden this large, burly bearded man interjects himself into our conversation and slides his body in front of the hockey player,

stares deeply into my eyes and says, oh my God, you're a smoke. Yeah, my ego was like, absolutely, thank you. And I will never forget that moment because it was so abrupt. It was so direct. But at the same time, as charming as it was, I had no idea who this man was. And if I'm being honest, I was probably a little annoyed after my ego was like, oh man, I'm looking so good

in my Forever 21 top, thank you. Then I was like, hold on, you're interrupting my moment with this Bruins player who I thought honestly could potentially be the father of my children one day. So I kind of just like brush this guy off and I'm like, haha, like thanks. And then the bearded man proceeded to ask me if he could buy me a drink. Now, I was a slut for a cocktail, okay? At that point, I could barely afford ramen noodles to feed myself, so I happily obliged. I'm like, yes, of course, you can get me a drink. I'll take a vodka on the rocks. No, I think I got like a fucking margarita. And so as he's standing there paying for this drink for me, in my mind, I fully had the intention of taking the drink and absolutely leaving. Like, I'm not going to give this man a second to keep talking to me. Girls,

you know how this goes. Like, get the drink and fucking run. I had my eyes on Hockey Boy. This wasn't the man that was going to screw up my mission. I need this hockey player. And I'll never forget. I'm waiting for this guy as he's buying me a drink and his back has kind of turned to me and a random guy comes up to me and he's like, do you know who that is? And he points to the bearded guy. And I'm like, no, like absolutely not. I think this is like a common civilian. I think he's just like a Boston guy that lives in Southie here's here for a good time and he's like he's an athlete but I'm like no he's not on the Bruins because I have the roster memorized remember and he's like yeah no shit he's not on the Bruins he's on the Red Sox babe now I have said this before but again if you're new here young Alex didn't give a fuck about baseball.

My dad never watched it. He called it the boringest sport. I had no interest, therefore. I just thought it was boring. We didn't watch it growing up. Little did I know I would soon learn that this sport was about to consume my life for the next few years. So I decided to go along with this guy and I was like, okay, like who is he? Like this guy's being so annoying. Also just so cringe. And now looking back,

this friend is the biggest fucking douche. And he's just like a full vulture, which I've talked about in the past. A vulture is like where the guy dick rides his rich friend so hard and acts like everything his rich friend has, he has to absolutely not. But somehow he always gets fucked. He always gets the leftovers. He always gets the leftovers from the guy that's the rich guy. There's like seven girls with the rich guy. And then at least one is going to be like, I guess I'll fuck the ugly friend because I want to come back next weekend. So he pulls up and let me be so clear. I have sometimes met the girl with the vulture. But this is not a story of me fucking the vulture. This is me fucking the leading man. Okay. Stay on track, Alex. So this

fucking piece of shit pulls up a picture of the bearded man, his friend. And right underneath his name was his salary. And it said an absolute gorgeous $16 million a year salary. And in my head, I was like, oh my God, this is going to be a good night. Like not to lie. Like I actually did kind of feel bad for him. Like he's just a Boston native. Like he probably can't afford to buy me a drink. Like I'm just going to be nice to the guy, like the beard and the whole thing. Like he wasn't giving famous athlete. Okay. We don't all come from trust funds and parents with connections. So we got to make our own connections, ladies. Okay. And he seemed like a pretty good connection to have at the time. So instead of fleeing, once he handed me my vodka, I decided that I would see what he's about. And as the night progressed,

I quickly realized that he was without a doubt the most outgoing person and the life of the party. All of the Bruins guys I was with earlier were like bowing down to this guy. Everyone was treating like he was some like Boston royalty. He was the man of the event. Heads turned everywhere. He was moving. I probably didn't notice this at all. I was literally so locked in on this fucking hockey player.

Nothing else mattered. But as I opened my eyes, I was like, whoa, like why are the Bruins treating him like this? Maybe I should start treating him like this. And it turned out to truly be the best night ever. He bought me and my friend drinks, introduced us to all of his friends. And when the bar was closing, he invited us to go to an after party at his place. I remember walking out of West and Johnny's. There's two big SUVs waiting outside. And me, my friend, and seven other girls got in these SUVs. We went back to his penthouse. Everyone was drinking. Music was going. And I remember just feeling so fascinated and just like intrigued by this guy and his lifestyle. And I wasn't even necessarily feeling romantic feelings yet at this point. It was more just honestly just like pure intrigue and awe.

Like, again, I am a broke college kid who had been dating college boys, going to their dorm rooms, like going to frat parties. Like I didn't come from money. I had never seen this level of wealth. Like I had never been in a penthouse in my life. I don't even know what it looked like. I've seen it in movies. But like there I am in a penthouse in my life. I don't even know what it looked like. I've seen it in movies, but like there I am in a penthouse overlooking Boston. There's endless drinks. There's security guards. I'm like, whoa, this is like literally the type of shit you see

in movies. And I was having a great fucking time. So we all hung out and partied and me and the bearded guy like talked a little bit but like I was quite cautious not to completely fuck it up and I just remember I grabbed my roommate and we just like snuck out of the party I think it was at like literally 3 a.m before we got too drunk and did something done because in those moments I was at least like smart enough in my drunk haze to be like this is such a big opportunity. I don't know what's going to come from it, but like, don't do something where you wake up tomorrow and you're like, why did I do that? AKA like take my fucking clothes off and run around screaming and like getting in his bathtub. Like, has that happened before? I don't know. Whoa. Maybe that's happened

with a different guy that I didn't care about, you know? But for this guy, I knew like I needed to actually put the work in if I wanted it to last. And so the next thing I remember, I'm waking up in my dorm room in my twin bed with my PB teen sheets and I'm getting a phone call at 8 a.m. on a Sunday in college. Who the fuck is calling me on a Sunday this early? And I look at my phone and it's him and he's calling me I also remember I saved his name as like Weston Johnny's and then his name and it was like holy fuck I remember in this moment my brain just started racing like wait how does he remember me I really didn't think he was gonna remember. There were so many girls at this party. And yes, while he made me in moments feel like our interactions were very important and I felt seen in slight moments,

I was obviously fucking skeptical. I'm not a full idiot. But I remember in that moment feeling anxious and giddy at the same time. Like, oh my God, this man's eyes just opened first thing in the morning and he's calling me. Life is good. Here we fucking go. So I answer the phone and I'm like, hello? And he's like, what are you doing? And I hear like music playing. And I'm like, I don't know, it's Sunday. I was just going to go like watch the Super Bowl with my teammates at some like house. And he was like, get up, get dressed. There's a car outside of your dorm that's picking you up to party with us for the super bowl bring your friend from last night I'm like how does he know where I live like did did my roommate tell him I don't know like she ended up actually having

told him so like the whole thing I'm like I fucking love it I immediately get up I get out of my bed I remember like flinging myself out of my twin bed I I'm screaming for my roommate. I'm like, this is the motherfucking life we deserve. My roommate and I sprint out of bed. We're getting our makeup ready. We're putting our outfits on. We were just peaking, honestly. Like again, as a 19 year old girl, this was the most exciting moment of our lives. We were just about to go to a random frat party and sit and watch the football game. And now instead, we're going to this Red Sox guy's penthouse and we're about to rage with him and all of his friends and teammates. And I truly couldn't even process it. I actually remember I called my mom and I was like, mom, like, guess what we're doing? And she was like, be safe, like, have so much fun, like, can't wait. So we end up getting to his place and he can tell we're hungover and he

starts cooking us pizza rolls and he's making us drinks. And he's like really just great vibe, great hang. Like, I feel like when you think of these type of people, it's like sit in the corner and wait until the party starts. Like this man is like chef boyardee. Okay. Well they were pizza rolls. So you had to just put them in the fucking oven. But like, to me, this was a big deal. I'm like, this is so romantic. Like, oh my God, he's cooking us food. We then get in a car with him and he brings us to this bar. And for the entire night, I felt like I was truly living like my notebook movie fantasy. And I started to wonder, and I would say this is like the real

moment I started to wonder, like, do I have romantic feelings for this guy? Like, is this actually more than just like a casual hookup in Boston? Not even a hookup. I think I just was like, could we be friends with him? I also wasn't sure, like, is he going to like my roommate? Like, I didn't really know. And I remember I pulled my roommate into the bathroom because he was starting to get a little bit more, a little bit more flirty with me. And I was like, what do I do? And she's like, you make out with him. What the fuck are you talking about? Make out with him. Like you guys are so cute already. And I'm like, he's so much older than me though. And I was torn. And for a little context, this man was 13 years older than me. I was 19 and he was 32. Did he act like he was 32? No. Did I act like I was 19? Absolutely not. I was like 25 going on 30.

Like I was so mature at that point, but I loved it. And I just, I think really why I pulled my roommate in that moment was like I needed her to tell me it was okay and she wasn't gonna fucking judge me you know when you're like wanting something but you need to like make sure your friends aren't gonna be like you're a fucking whore you piece of shit it's like hooking up with your own dad like I needed her to be like this is romance this is love like this is once in a lifetime like go for it sweetie because my body honestly during that time at this bar started to be like, this is everything I wanted. Honestly, I remember we leave the bathroom.

And then at one point in the night, we're all sitting at this big roped off section that he had for everyone. And then there's like me, a commoner would have been like out in the normal section, but I got to be in this like little section with him feeling important. And he takes my hand and he pulls me up from my seat and he brings me up to the bar. And he's like, you need another drink. Like, what do you want to drink? And he ends up just ordering us two shots. And we rip these shots and he then throws me up on the bar.

So I'm like sitting on the bar and his body comes in between my legs. So I'm like straddling him and we just start making out. And it just happens. It all happened. And in my head, I'm like, holy fucking shit. Like, this is a man. Like, I'm like got my hands on his arms. They're like huge. I'm like, this is not a college boy. Like, this is a man. Like I'm like got my hands on his arms. They're like huge. I'm like, this is not a college boy. Like this is a man. Like this is literally the first like

man I have hooked up with. And mind you, everyone is staring at this guy because we are with someone that's like on the Boston Red Sox. We're in a Boston bar and the entire bar stood there whistling and cheering and chanting as we're making out. And like, nobody knows my name, like, but people are staring at me and I'm like, this is a really wild feeling. And I was half loving it. Obviously I'm like, Oh, I love attention. I'm a Leo, like keep it coming. And then half of me was freaking the fuck out that this would be on Twitter. And my mom and my dad would see this because yes, she knew I was coming. I told you guys, I gave my mom a heads up. She knew I was coming to this bar to meet a Red Sox player. But to be clear, I did not

specify with which player, like she probably assumed like, oh, Brian, like Alex met a young rookie on the Red Sox. Like, it's so cute. She didn't realize it was the veteran. One of the oldest people on the goddamn motherfucking team. Like, Jesus Christ, Alex. So I will be honest, though. That probably lasted in my head for like 30 fucking seconds. And I was able to quickly forget all of that. I'm like, goodbye, mom.

I'm going to live my life right now. And my college roommate and I truly had one of the best nights of our lives. We always look back at this time and we always say we will never forget that specific night because it really felt like it was like a turning point in our college experience. And we were just exposed to this whole new side of Boston. And we loved it. And who wouldn't? So after that night, it really felt like there was a shift. I had car services picking me up to go to his apartment and he would invite me down to spring

training in Florida to spend like a long weekend with him. And I had never experienced anything like this in my life. Drivers and penthouses and steak dinners, going to baseball games, sitting right behind first base and then meeting up with him after and everyone wanting his photo and photographers. And meanwhile, all of this was completely normal for him and had been normal for him for quite some time. He had been playing baseball in the MLB for like 10 years and the girls and the money and the lifestyle, that was his life that he was very used to. I was just a normal college girl experiencing his fame in such a wild way that I will be honest, I definitely got swept up in all of it and felt excited by it. The problem

is I was interpreting all of the dinners and the tickets and the nights out together as a sign that he felt the same way about me and that he really liked me. This was my first true athlete experience. I was so fucking young and naive and I was completely in over my head. I was truly hanging on for dear life. I'm not proud of it, but this is the honest truth. Okay. Some nights I thought I was going to be invited to the game and then I wouldn't hear from this man. I started to become obsessed. You could say what, but despite how inconsistent he was, I really thought we had something special in our alone moments. Isn't that what they all say? It's so fucking pathetic. I'm like, no, I promise you guys, this whole episode is gonna be me convince you. It was, we were more, we were more than just that.

Um, we would have conversations where he would tell me like, oh, like, oh, I'm different with you. It's literally like a book. Like, I'm different with you. Like, I've never been with a girl like this before. Like, you make me feel so different. Literally stabbing the fucking eyeballs. I'm like, oh my God, no way. I know it's a classic red flag, Daddy Gang, but I still genuinely believe he sort of meant it. And then things really started to spiral and go downhill. Obviously, I was hearing from him less frequently. We would barely see each other. And I certainly wasn't getting any more lavish gifts. Shout out to the Michael Kors backpack and watch that he got me. If you guys are OG and you remember the story I told you when I was like this guy made 16 million dollars a year and I'll quickly tell you guys the story if you're new here

it was pre-season when we started talking and all of my friends were in the dorms all the upperclassmen everyone was with me and I'm like you guys he sent me gifts for my birthday and so all the girls come running and be like bitch this guy is so rich like what did he get you like I bet he got you a motherfucking car. Like you definitely are getting your first Chanel. Like, oh my fucking God, bitch. What if it's a Rolex? And I'm like, guys, I know someone film it. Someone film it. This is going to be crazy. And he's texting me like, did you get your gifts? And I'm literally like, come around, come around. I literally have my entire team like circle around me. I'm like, all right, here we go. And there's multiple boxes also. So it's like, holy shit. And I opened, I opened the first little box and we're like, it could be a ring. It could be a ring. Like, I don't want to, it could be a ring.

I said, I told you guys he loved me. And I opened the, and I opened the first fucking box and I see gold and I'm like ah and my friend's like what is it what is it what is it I'm like it's a watch and I open it further and I see on the fucking gold face plate Michael Kors and I'm like no and everyone's like cooper cooper shawshaw and i'm like it's michael kors and they're all like literally so sad for me like oh and like mind you bitches on my fucking soccer team have gotten fucking nicer ass gifts from fucking people that go to motherfucking college and they're all like oh well i'll open

the next ones open the oh well open the next ones open the next ones open the next ones so i'm gonna go for the big box i'm gonna go for the big box so i open the big box i'm like this is gonna be good this is the chanel i open the big box and i literally open it i'm like no and everyone's like what like come on what is it and i go it's a michael kors backpack like a michael kors backpack and again you guys if i'm with my mother yes get me a michael kors backpack at this point but you you shall not be named who made so much money you fucking shit more money than this you would fucking leave bigger tips to waiters than this backpack cost mother fucker and i'm literally like

it's a michael kors backpack and then one of my friends is like no no it's the new one it's the new one and one girl's like i have that one and i'm like it just keeps getting worse but all my teammates like all right there's one more like it's got to be a ring like what if it's a Cartier what's the Cartier ring and now I'm like Michael Kors Michael Kors I wonder what die inside. Looking back, here's the thing. I think he started to pull away because he recognized how much more in love with him I was and where I wanted things to go in the relationship. And he realized he couldn't give that to me. Like we had a really consistent, great couple months of just like whirlwind. And then I think I naturally got invested and he was like wanting to keep it where it was.

But despite all of this, I refused to give up and I wasn't going to go down without a fight. Okay. So it was one of the weeks that I wasn't really hearing from him. And I had been in his bed the week earlier. And we were kind of just trying to lay the groundwork for the upcoming weekend and just trying to gauge. I was just trying to see like, what was, what were his plans? But he was not biting and he was being vague. Ladies, we all have been there where you're like, oh, like, what are you doing this weekend? And it's either like, oh, want to hang out on Saturday? Or if it's not that, it's the opposite and there's no in between of like, yeah, I don't know, like, I'll like, I'll hit you up.

Like, I'll let you know, like, oh, you're never getting hit up. Just so you know, if he doesn't give you a direct answer of wanting to make plans with you, he doesn't want to make plans with you. I didn't know that at the time. So I was itching for a classic night out with him. And I also knew he had an upcoming home game, which meant he always had plans when he had a home game. This man was a partier who went out after every game win or lose. But sadly, Red Sox man wasn't in the mood to hit the clubs with Lil Al and her friends after one of his games. So I was on my own this weekend to fend for myself in the streets of Boston.

OK, so my friends and I had made plans of our own and decided to go to this club called Cure. Not long after arriving, none other. OK, I'm at the club with my friends. None other than Red Sox man walks through the door he had hold on just pause for a minute he had told me oh babe like I'm not really in the mood like I think I'm gonna call an early night like I'm just gonna like order in like I said I'm standing titties out short on, hair done. And this man walks into the club surrounded by his teammates and a bunch of girls. And I immediately wanted to throw up.

I'm like, oh my God, it must be like a miscommunication. Like, oh my God, like I, my phone must not have service down here. He must have texted me to come out. Like something must be wrong. And I was definitely having a fun night with my friends. But once he arrived, like obviously that's all I could focus on. So he's walking in and they are getting escorted to their table. And I'm like trying to make eye contact with him so he can like see me. Because I'm convinced like, oh my God, once he sees me, like it's over.

Like he's obviously going gonna invite me over so I'm like I'm like trying to like shimmy my body through the crowd I'm like like trying to like not be too cringe but I'm just trying to like you know like get him to notice me and I'm like and I'm literally just like scooting through just trying to get closer to him because they're a woman is like escorting them quickly to this table and as I get closer I like absolutely make eye contact with him and he clearly wants nothing to do with me and is fully avoiding eye contact and I realize he's clearly with another girl who obviously looks very similar to me so I'm like panicking they get set up at their table and I'm like okay like I'm a little embarrassed also like my friends are like we got this we me. So I'm like panicking. They get set up at their table and I'm like, okay, like I'm a little embarrassed also. Like my friends are like, we got this, we got this. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, we got this, we got this. But I'm embarrassed. I'm like,

bitch, I was just in your fucking bed like five days ago. Like, how are you going to act like not even come over and then just don't invite me to the, like your table, but like at least like acknowledge my existence, you know? No, no, no, that's too much. So I go to the bar, I take a couple shots, and I progressively get more and more and more and more and more and more intoxicated. And I get this courage about me thinking in my drunken state that if I can get him to have one of our deep, classic, honest, vulnerable conversations we always have in bed, and if I push up the titties enough, he's obviously going to leave that girl and he's going to end up with me tonight. It's classic. It's one plus one equals two, like done. And that's where the tequila is not our friends, girls. Because if I were thinking rationally, I would have realized the club is probably not the best place to have a conversation

with someone. And it's definitely not the right place to have a conversation with someone who has been avoiding you. Okay. Food for thought, girls. Never chase a man in a club. Talk to him the next morning. Red Sox man gets up and I see him start making his way across the club. And I recognize he's making his way to the bathroom. I am a monster at this point. I have been fiending for this moment. Like it's at this point, probably been an hour just for context. And so I black out and I focus on my mission. I start to lunge my body towards his body. And my friends are pulling me back saying like, Alex, no, Alex, no, you're going to regret this in the morning. Like, just call him in the fucking morning. And'm like absolutely not we need to talk right now right here right now so I proceed to please please no judgment when I say this but here we go I proceed to follow this man into the public men's bathroom of the motherfucking club. I just walk directly in.

Like, no shame. I just strut my little fucking ass in there. Literally, why did a bouncer not tackle me to the fucking ground in that moment? I honestly would have paid him the next fucking day. I just walk right in as if I've got a dick myself. And I'm immediately searching for him. I'm like, where is he? Where is he?

And he's one of these. He's in one of the stalls with the door because all the urinals are filled with other men with their fucking dicks out peeing. And they all look at me the minute I walk in and I see him go into this stall. And before he has a chance to lock the little door, I shove the stall door open and I call his name and I'm like, we need to talk. He whips around with his dick in his hand and he's like fully fucking mortified. And he's like, Alex, what the fuck are you doing? Like he's so shocked. He's like, he knows I'm a

crazy bitch, but this clearly like, he was like, was like oh this bitch is insane and in that moment I'm so hurt I'm like why are you acting like it's weird that I'm here like why are you acting like I'm shocked like what are you doing like babe like we need to have a conversation like babe of course I came in here and I needed a moment alone with you to reconnect like of course I'll take those tickets for the next home game like calm down we're. We're back. We're fine. We're fine. Like it's so fucking sick. It's literally sick. What I wasn't thinking about were the optics of this situation. That's when tequila really does you dirty where you're like, I didn't think young girl shouting at man, dick out other men in the room. Like I didn't see it that way. I just thought it was a private moment in a little stall together. Okay. So I just start having the conversation as he's yelling at me. And I'm like,

I really just don't understand. Like you're kind of being mean and like aggressive. And like, you're kind of like, you kind of said you like weren't coming out tonight. So like, obviously it's like a shock that I'm seeing you here. Should we talk about this? And like, wait, what are you doing later tonight? Like, should we go home? And I'm just like, what the fuck? Why am I acting this way I'm like you probably could have texted me like I don't know and he's yelling at me he's like Alex get out of the bathroom like my dick is out like all these other like get out and then I am persistent and I just keep talking to him I'm like how dare you bring another girl here like you're always so

sweet to me now that I think about it and then when another girl's around like well I can't stop I can't be socked I'm like you're being such a dick. All of a sudden, all of the men in the bathroom start to chime in with Red Sox man. And they're like, bitch, get the fuck out of here. Like, he doesn't want to talk to you. Like, why are you in the bathroom? And thank God. Here's the thing. I'm impenetrable at this point, though.

OK, like nothing could hurt my feelings. Truly nothing. I have an agenda. OK, all these men. I'm like, yeah, fuck off. Finally, he zips up his little pants and he, he escorts me out of the men's bathroom. And he said, I'll talk to you later. Alex, go home. And he goes back to his table. now as much of a little bitch as I was being I also still had that fight in me okay like I am a motherfucking cockroach I will not die tonight motherfucker so what did I do? I made the executive decision to not go home after I had completely humiliated myself. I needed a redemption moment.

And so I decided to look around the club. And here's the thing. I always knew that if the Red Sox were playing someone, there was a pretty high chance that the opposing team would also be out that night. Okay. So I turned my demon vision to the right and across the club, I saw this one very, very famous athlete. And I decide he is now my mission.

Probably Red Sox fans's like, God bless, like leave me alone. So I grabbed my friends and I say, let's go. We're going to a different table. And I see Red Sox man is watching me as I am beelining it across the club. And I go up to this guy. He immediately lets me into his table. I'm looking good. I got my extensions. I've got my tiny dress. We're flirting. He starts flirting with me. We're hitting it off. And he's like, this guy actually was such a sweet guy. We actually ended up having a little like on and off relationship even out of college. He was a lovely guy. He was just a little too fucking boring for me. He was really sweet though. Probably like great marriage material. And I was like,

I want the penis and the dickhead. so we we are about to start making out in this club okay and I say I say hey I say feeling all confident like do you want to come back to my dorm like this man makes millions of dollars also and I'm like you want to come back to the dorm and he laughs and he'm like, you want to come back to the dorm? And he laughs and he's like, do you want to come back to my hotel? Like, we don't need to go to your dorm. And I'm like, amazing. Let's do it. And so this happens and everyone is clearing out the club at this time. The lights come on. It's 3 a.m. in Boston. Time to go home. Everyone funnels out of the club. I'm arm in arm with my new boy.

And I think it was the Miami Marlins. I'm standing outside of the club and everyone is getting Ubers. Everyone is getting taxis. Everyone is getting their plans home for the night. Okay. And Red Sox man, I see him standing a few feet away from me with seven, six, seven women around him. And I am standing with this baseball player and he is trying to hail a cab like feet away. OK, and I can tell he's eyeing me and I'm eyeing him, obviously, obviously. And all of a sudden. Red Sox man. Walk walks directly up to us. And my heart starts fluttering. I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God. He's coming up to me. He's so jealous. He's so jealous. He's

going to apologize. He's going to ditch the other women. He's going to grab my hand. He's going to put me in the car. He's going to go, oh my God, this is literally perfect. I'm going home with him. And so I'm getting ready. I'm fixing myself. Territorially, I was like, ooh, this is literally perfect. I'm going home with him. And so I'm like getting ready. I'm like fixing myself like territorially. I was like, ooh, this is a big moment. Like step on this little fucker on this other team. Like she's mine. Like fuck you little bitch. But as you can imagine, that's not how it went.

You know, instead he wasn't coming over to talk to me. He pulls the baseball player's arm that I am standing with and he pulls him away from me. And he whispers something in his ear. And I'm in shock. I can't move. I remember my body was feeling so numb. I'm like, wait, what is happening? Like, what is happening?

Like, it all was happening so fast. I remember, like, people were all staring at this interaction and I'm'm like, wait, what is happening? Like what is happening? Like it all was happening so fast. I remember like people were all staring at this interaction and I'm like unclear of what's happening. The taxi pulls up that he had just hailed. Baseball boy that I was about to go home with looks at me and he goes, sorry, Alex. And he gets in the cab and he leaves and drives away. So now I am standing by myself in the middle of the road and I turn to Red Sox man trying to fight back tears in my eyes. So dramatic. And I am like, you're the devil. What did you say to him? And I start freaking out. And he literally looks at me deadpan and goes, you're mine. And he walks away and he gets in his car and leaves with the seven women. And I stand in front of this nightclub for what felt like an hour by myself.

My friends had all gone home because I was like, I'm going home with this one. You guys can take off. And finally, the bouncer gets me a cab and I somehow make my way back to my dorm room empty-handed I walk into my common area all of my friends are shocked to see me without baseball boy they're like Alex what happened like why aren't you with the guy like they start making me a grilled cheese they like can tell like to to I think every girl in college can relate to this when you have a big friend group like it's gonna be one of us crying one night like the night before like my other friend was crying so they knew it was my night they They're like, here she fucking goes. We knew it. She starts, they start

making me a grilled cheese. I'm so dramatic. I get into the bathtub with no water. I take off all of my clothes. I just like get naked in front of everyone. I get into the tub. I curl up like I don't even deserve to sleep in a bed tonight. I deserve to feel the pain. I deserve to feel miserable. I am miserable. He's ruining my life. Like I honestly probably at that time was like just probably like trying to channel like Marissa Cooper. Like this is something she would do. Like she's like so fucked up and dramatic. And like my friend Bridget is like, I think we need to remove like the razors from the bathtub tonight. My friends were so dramatic. We were being so dramatic. Like Alex, like you lost your mind. I'm like, guys, I'm not going to like fucking kill myself. Like, please. Like I'm just depressed and I want

to pretend to be depressed for the rest of the night so I can be sad. Let me be sad. Like turning on like Death Cab by Cutie being like, and like just bad, just bad. You know how it goes, okay? And this is where back in the day, I would always preach. Men love the crazy. And this is about to be your proof pudding sauce, people, okay? Because because I wake up in the tub with a text from him the next morning saying, come over. And obviously I do. I'm like, woo! Bridget put the razors back in the shower. We're back, baby! I'm like getting dressed and like putting put the razors back in the shower. We're back, baby. I'm like getting dressed and like putting extra blush on, like looking cute.

Like I'm going over and all my friends are like, no. But honestly, I was like, do you want tickets to the game night? They're like, yes. It was always just a stupid fucking game we had to play. And it was fine. And to give context, like these are just the little things that I was thinking like, oh, it's just like a little push and pull of us. Like this is so classic us, like push and pull, like sleep in the tub, go to the penthouse in the morning. Like,

and in the morning I was like, oh, so fun. Like so dramatic. Like I didn't let it get to me. Well, I did get it, let it get to me. But like in the morning I was like, fresh new day. Let's see if he'll text me. But little did I know this man was probably fully getting his fucking cake and eating it too. Like he didn't want to go home with me. He wanted to go home maybe with another girl or go home with no one. That's the way I tell myself. Um, and then, and then when the other girl left in the morning, I was his comfort. I was his go-to. And he wanted me to come over and fucking give me pancakes and cuddle me and watch movies with me. And I went over and I yelled at him and he apologized. And then we went on with our day. And this cycle happened over and over and over for a couple months, okay? Until I started to get stronger.

Until I started to recognize that I could make some decisions that could get underneath his skin, that could make him really have to face his emotions because as crazy as it sounds, and I know it sounds insane, I'm telling you guys, you guys, he did like me. Okay. He did like me. I will never forget. I am sitting in the dining hall and he calls me after a game and he's like, where are you? We're having a sleepover. And I'm like, oh my God, like, let me get my fucking bag. Like, I'm so excited. And he's like, no, no, no, no. I want to have a sleepover at your dorm. So picture me prepping all of my suite mates. There's like six girls that I live with at this time. I'm like, hey, Red Sox man is coming over for a sleepover. And they're like,

to the dorm, like to 1019. And we're all starting to freak out. I'm like, yeah, we're cleaning. We're fucking getting the place ready and most of my friends at the time were Boston natives so like they're his biggest fans they're literally at this point like calling their dads being like dad guess who I'm having a sleepover with tonight and their dads are like this is fucking cool and then their moms are like isn't that guy like in his 30s like this is concerning and they're like we're like ready we're ready we're ready like word spreads that he is coming to the dorms tonight and all of the boys on our floor are just like casually just like hanging out in the hallway just like hanging out like having a couple beers like hoping that they

will see him and like hoping to get a little autograph he pulls up to my dorm room my sophomore dorm room in his Aston Martin he like just just parks it illegally in front. He's like, does that place have valet? I'm like, I think the valet guy's like not here right now. Literally, what the fuck? I'm like trying to pretend he's blaring music. Everyone outside the dorm is like staring at him like, what is this man doing here? He walks in, I will never forget. And the front desk security guard isn't really paying attention. Like the nighttime security guards literally are like, go ahead. He's like, give me me your id if you're not like a member here just like give me your id and red sex guy is like oh shit like i don't have my id like i forgot it he's like uh could i give you my player's card and all of a sudden the security guard is like

looks up and his jaw drops because the security guard at the time is wearing a Boston Red Sox hat. So you can only imagine this guy's like, fuck my life. Fuck my life. My job is like a bunch of annoying fucking college kids that just get drunk and fucking. What the fuck is happening? He's like, oh my God, sir. Like, yeah, no, no need for an ID. Like, yeah, like, go ahead. Like, hey, can I get a selfie with you? So I feel like I have the biggest dick on campus. Okay. I'm like, like redemption, redemption, all the hurt, all the hurt. It never happened. He comes up and he proceeds to sleep with me in my twin bed. And my roommate who was across from us that night, like it wasn't a roommate, like, oh, we live in a suite. Like there's two twin beds in this room. I'm in one

with Red Sox player, big old man. And then my roommate is like three feet away in her other twin bed. My roommate did not sleep with her pimple cream and retainers in that night, nor did I. She slept with a full beat, as did I. And that day, that was the day where I was like, oh my God, he's in love with me. He's in love with me. Honestly, I could have made all of this God, he's in love with me. He's in love with me. Honestly, I could have made all of this up, but the time it felt real. And here's the thing, Daddy Gang, I know I always yell at you guys where I'm like, he doesn't like you. Yeah, well, I could have used a podcast like that back in the day, okay? But I didn't have one, so I get a free pass. You don't

anymore though. If he treats you like this, he doesn't fucking like you. But hold on. He actually probably does. OK, so I feel like there's something to be said for this is how I felt about it. This was my first real adult relationship. Like my high school relationships had nothing on this. And I had dated a guy in college that I loved so much. But like this was my first like adult relationship. I was experiencing a lot of firsts with this man. And most importantly, he gave me my first orgasm. So was I clouded by a great O? Maybe. But it was a big deal for me. Like I had never had an orgasm in my life until I met Red Sox man. So yeah, there was like obviously like an extreme level of attachment you could

say on my end though, on my end. But here's where it kind of started to change. Once the year mark of going through the cycle of inconsistency kind of hit, I knew it was time to turn the tables and finally add some other people to my roster. I was too attached and I was just like getting let down too often. And while it was great when I was with him, it just like wasn't enough. So fast forward, it's summer. I'm living in Boston about to go into my junior year. And it's the 4th of July weekend. And one of my soccer friends who went to Vanderbilt University was flying in for the weekend. And I wanted to show her like the best time. You guys know how that is. It's like if you went to

college, it's like when you go visit a friend at college, it's like you pull out everything. You pull out all the stops. You pull out all the fun. We're going to the best parties. We're going to eat the best food. You're going to meet all the hot guys, blah, blah, blah. And so I, at this point, have the Red Sox calendar memorized. And lucky for me, there was a game on the 4th of July and it was a day game. Let's fucking go. So I created a plan. We're going to go to the Red Sox game. We're going to sit front row in his seats. We're going to drink. We're going to look cute. And then we are going to get in his Aston Martin and he is going to take us to the club. That was the goal. That was the vision. That was the plan. And that's what I sold my friend. Okay. The problem is Red Sox man had

different plans that didn't involve me that weekend, but I wasn't aware of that just yet. Okay. So I was deep in the waiting game. Every girl knows how this goes when you are, oh, it's so fucking awful. When you are so dependent on the guy for plans like this motherfucker, I would wait for the text. I would wait for the text. I would wait for the text. I would wait for the text. And I wouldn't make plans with any other people just yet because I was holding out for this man. And it was all in his hands. Okay. So finally, I remember I decide on July 3rd to text him being like, hey, like what's your plan for the game tomorrow do you have family in town or like can I come to the game and he's like hey sorry the tickets are taken and immediately I'm like

okay yeah totally like I understand but there's the players section so the player section is where all like the wives and the girlfriends and the family can sit it's like they're general admin tickets in a designated area. And without a doubt, there is always fucking extra tickets available in the family and friends section. And in my mind, I'm rationalizing. I'm like, all right. Okay. Okay. Like, you know, we can't get the front row. Like maybe the family is in town. Like that's totally fine. Family section is fine. Like let's fucking go. And he was like, my whole family is actually coming and stuff like I just don't think it's a good game to come to. My stomach is now in my asshole. And meanwhile, I have my friend sitting on my bed, like twiddling her fingers, being like, so what's the plan for the weekend?

And I'm just like, shut the fuck up. I'm mortified. I'm literally mortified. I'm like the plan, the plan, the plan. But this was so typical, like the inconsistency. And it was annoying because I will say like, because my friends from different schools would visit me often, some friends would be lucky enough to get the royal treatment from the Red Sox man. We would be out till 5 a.m. with the limos and the champagne and the booze. And then other times I would be like, I have nothing. I have no one. I am worthless. I have nothing. I can't provide shit. And obviously, yes, we could go to a frat party, but that's not the life I was selling them. Fly into Boston. I'll take you to the game. We'll do the thing. We'll shoot the shooters. And this was looking like it was going to be one of those

goddamn weekends. And also this was one of my like most fun party friends. So I was like, I've got to show her a good time. So I immediately, I went into spiral mode because I've now had it up to here with the games. I'm like, I refuse to keep waiting for this man for my schedule to pan out all on his terms. So I start strategizing. What can plan B be? Now remember, at this point, I'm not as dumb as I started. I had learned the importance of a roster. So I immediately tapped into the database. I recognized that the Red Sox would be playing the Astros on 4th of July. And lucky for me, I had infiltrated one of the Astros players who was so fucking hot, by the way. Okay. Long, beautiful hair, young, more my age, super cute. Had always been asking, you know, when we play the Red Sox, like, let me take you out. Like, let's meet up. Let me take you on a

date. And I had constantly denied him, unfortunately, because every time that he was in town, it just so happened that Red Sox man was treating me right. But this time, not so much. Okay. So I start texting him and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I saw you're going to be in town. Let's go out later. And also, do you think you'd get me some tickets to the game? And he's like, oh my gosh, like, I'm so excited to see you, Alex. Like, I'm so sorry. Like, actually, we were just told for the opposing team, like everything sold out. But yes, let's definitely meet up after the game. And like, I want to take you out. And I'm like, yeah, no, no, for sure. For sure. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Let's do it. I'll meet up with you after. Text me after the game. But I wasn't done. I still wanted to go to that motherfucking game. I had just become obsessed

with knowing who was sitting in the Red Sox man's seats. Okay. Now I needed to know who's in the seats. Who's in the seats, big boy on good old 4th of July. Who'd you pick? Who'd you pick? And I also just wanted to show him that like, you know, I didn't need him. Okay. I could get myself to the game, but obviously buying a ticket myself was not an option. Okay. So I tapped back into the roster. I, this is kind of sad. I had this rookie pitcher on the Red Sox, kind of like lingering in the DMs.

He was kind of a loser. No, you know what? I don't know that for sure. I had never met him. Okay. He never really played. And he was just kind of like, you could tell he was just like a little dorky. He honestly, probably now that I think about it was marriage material for a lovely woman, but I had no

interest. Okay. If he wasn't having a party after the games and he wasn't treating me a little inconsistent and like, shit, what am I living for? Okay. I don't need a husband when I'm a sophomore in college. I need the thrill. I need the toxic. I need the emotion. I need the love. Okay. But in this moment, he became my knight in shining armor. Okay. And I finally responded to his 15th DM and I'm like, hey, happy almost fourth. And he's like, whoa, Alex, like so happy you saw my messages. And I'm like, oh my gosh, what are you doing tomorrow for the fourth? And he's like, oh, I got a game. And I'm like, no way. Really? Oh my gosh. I have a friend in town who is obsessed with baseball. Do you think there's any way that you can get us any tickets? And he's like, oh yeah, I have two allocated to me and my, um, for family and friends section as a player. And I don't have

any friends or family coming to the game. I can totally give you those two tickets. And I am like, let's mother fucking go. We, wait, what's the thing? We did it, Joe, Joe, we did it, Joe. We got the motherfucking tickets. And I looked to my friend and I'm like, we're fucking in. We're going to the Red Sox game. And we have fucking plans with the player afterwards. Let's motherfucking go. We start taking shots.

We start getting ready. We're looking fucking good. And now I have the tickets to the Red Sox game from the rookie. And then I have plans with the Astros player after the game. And I'll be in my prime location to stake out Red Sox man's seats. And I can zoom in on my iPhone and see who's sitting in the front row. Okay. It's about to be a hell of a night. So we get to the stadium and I go to sit down in my seats, which is in the friends and family section of the Red Sox. And I'm looking around and like, I see a couple people that I recognize, you know, but I wasn't too intertwined with the friends and family and and the girlfriends and the wise because I I was I was always in his other seats.

I also wasn't his fucking girlfriend. OK, let's be real. But like I wasn't too familiar with these people. So I'm sitting there. I am drinking a crisp bud light. I am taking a bite of my hot dog. I'm talking to my friend. We're zooming in on Red Sox man. We're checking him out. And all of a sudden, as I'm zooming in on this man, I hear someone say, Alex. And I turned to my, and someone had just sat down in the seat directly next to me. And lo and behold, it was Red Sox man's sister and mother. Now, like I mentioned earlier, I had met these amazing folk, okay? They knew me. But I could kind of tell from their facial expressions that like, they like knew I wasn't like invited. Like they kind of like, they like knew I wasn't supposed to be there. and they knew that I

must have gotten the tickets from someone else. Now, when I look back, it's even worse because I'm like, why did they know that? Like did Red Sox man literally that morning, like, was he talking to his family that morning and being like, how, tell them how I was trying to get tickets? Like, did they know something about me and the status of our relationship that like I didn't know you know and I'm not gonna lie I was gonna shit my pants right there in that seat like my entire body I just will never forget I felt so awkward like I felt like an outsider honestly and I felt like a fucking fraud because they had been lovely to me in every situation but this was literally the sister was like Alex and I'm literally like yeah like what the fuck do you want but then I'm like obviously I need her to love me

because this is the man of my dreams so I'm like trying to play it cool and my friend on my left like feels my energy and has no idea what's going on but she can tell there's an energy shift and she's like what just happened oh literally what just happened what's going on, but she can tell there's an energy shift. And she's like, what just happened? Literally, what just happened? What's going on? And I whisper to my friend and I'm like, we need to go. And I'm like, oh my God, you guys, it was so good to see you. Like, oh my God, I'm so happy I saw you. It's literally like the second inning. Like, literally, why am I leaving? And I'm like, it was so good to see you. Happy 4th. I get up and I leave because I'm a little bitch because I'm a fucking loser. And I couldn't honestly take the awkwardness and the uncomfortability for the entirety of the game.

And honestly, like me and my friend were already drunk and we're like, oh, let's go pregame and like get ready for the night out. You know, when you do that, we're like, I hated going to sports games as much as I loved them. I wanted to like quickly run home and like do a full new beat because like I'm sitting there for like almost like four hours and I like needed to go get ready. So we like convinced ourselves it was good. We had to leave. But I'm like there for like almost like four hours and I like needed to go get ready so we like convinced ourselves it was good we had to leave but I'm like shivering to the core I'm like they really were like kind of like a little rude so I'm walking out of Fenway Park and you will not believe the text that I get it is the third inning of the Red Sox game on the 4th of July and I get a text and I look at my phone and it's from Red Sox man in the middle of the game in the middle of the game this man

goes into the dugout goes into the locker room gets his phone and texts me and he writes he writes Alex who gave you the tickets Alex who gave you the tickets and I immediately feel so scared I'm like oh my god like oh my god like what do I say I'm like also like poor rookie friend like oh my god like he's a full rookie the scared. I'm like, oh my God. Like, oh my God. Like, what do I say? I'm like, also like poor rookie friend. Like, oh my God. Like he's a full rookie, the kid that I'm texting. I'm like, oh my God. This is like literally his first year on the team.

And like Red Sox man is like the oldest veteran. Like this poor guy. Like I'm just thinking about this poor rookie. He's literally about to get the shit beaten out of him. And so I'm like, I can't say anything. Like I can't give up this poor guy's identity. Like I gotta lie. Like I gotta think of something.

But so just, I respond naturally and I say what are you talking about just gaslight him I was never at that game who what who is that who who's there like I wasn't there you're there Who are you saying you want me to, you, you, you have tickets for me? Like, what? And he's like, stop it right now. My sister sat down next to you and she knows you weren't supposed to be there. So who did you get the tickets from? And I'm like, well, it's more concerning that I saw a couple of young girls in the front row in your seat.

Huh? So much for family time. Your family really needed those tickets? Huh? Or was it a couple of blondies from Boston? Just always put it back on them. Never answer the question. And he's like, answer the fucking the fucking question Alex who gave you the goddamn tickets and we start going back and forth and I'm recognizing well first of all I'm recognizing like he's just texting me which is amazing I'm like oh we're back baby my friend's looking over my

shoulder like he's mad and I'm like no he's mad. And we're texting the fact that we're texting. I'm like gold, mine, gold, mine plans for tonight plans for tonight. I'm going to see like, things are already good that he's texting. Also, you know, when like I, Oh my God, you guys, this is so pathetic. But like I had at that point designated his own little ringtone for his text. So like I would get the normal text on like, I know it's like my mom or my friend, but then it was like the dun dun. Like I had done that one, like dun dun. And every time he would text me, I'd like freeze. And so whenever I was like looking for a text from him, I'd turn my volume up and then it would be like, bring, bring, bring, bring, dun dun. And I'd be like, so I like really got excited when I got texts from him. So anyways, started getting rise,

started getting rise at him. And he's texting me in the middle of the goddamn baseball game. So like, I'm realizing now I'm in a position where like, he's literally chasing me down. Like he's literally obsessed with me. Like he's so annoyed that I went to the game and he's so annoyed that I'm clearly talking to someone else. This is amazing. Like this man, while he may be very infuriated, he's officially jealous. Checkmate. You care. Like let's fucking go. I'm ready to fucking party. Like you got to have these check-in moments, ladies. Like it is so important to check the waters. Okay. Like I knew he was mad, but like he kept going. He's like, who are you talking to? Like, tell me who gave you the tickets. Like, I'm going to figure

this out. And now I'm really like, okay, I'm under his skin. So I respond and I say, don't worry about it. I didn't need those tickets anyways. I also had some seats in the away section as well motherfucker I will ruin your life and I'm picturing this man and they're like bro you're up to bat and he's like hold on this mother and I'm like let's go let's go it's buddy time it's buddy time and now he's like oh so you're talking to someone on the Astros. Like, who are you talking to on the Astros? And he starts spiraling. And I do the one thing that needed to be done.

I ghosted him. Did it take every bone in my body to ghost him and to not answer that fucking text yes also did I ghost him or did my friend take my phone physically rip it out of my hand put it in her purse and say you can't talk to him for 15 minutes. Let him sweat it out. Okay. That is also true. Okay. She's a good friend, whatever. Okay. Her taking it or me not answering. The point is same thing, same result. The motherfucker was ghosted. Okay. And the outcome for the first time ever is like, I'm ghosting him and he's blowing me up it's an absolute victory so later that night I responded obviously I literally was like hasn't been 15

minutes yet hasn't been 15 minutes yet I ended up going longer than 15 minutes I actually had some self-restraint and it was like you know like a couple hours because at that point I'm like let him finish the game like let him like marinate on it this is what I realized he's gonna sit at that game and just over and over and over and he's gonna look down that little fucking roster as every Astros guys come to bat he's like is that the one is that the one is that the one is that and then he's also gonna have to look in his camp and think who the fuck is it so let him spiral that's how you'll get ready for the fucking night out okay so then I text him hours later and I asked him if he was going out. I'm like, we're friends again. And he said he wasn't. So what do I do? I went and I met up with the Astros player

and my friend and I spent the night hanging out with these two gorgeous guys. They took us to a steak dinner. We went to see these fireworks and it was like a pretty lovely night. We end up going back to the Astro Players hotel room for an after party. And I'm with my friend. She's sitting on the bed in the hotel room with this guy and I go into the bathroom with Astro's man and we start hooking up. I start giving this man a blowjob and mid said blowjob, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. Okay. And it is the hour of the night where either my friend is in the other room being like, let's fucking go. I hate this guy. Let's leave. Or, or in my wildest dreams, it is Red Sox, man. Either one is quite important. Like, I want to be a good friend, but I also am hoping for the latter so mid sucky suck penis fully in mouth I say one

minute and I pull up my fucking phone mid blowjob penis still in mouth and there it is at this point the fucking dick falls out of my mouth because I opened too wide and I'm like, it's Red Sox, man. I have a text from Red Sox man on my phone that says, I want you come here. Immediately I tap tap tap the penis and I say no more I stand up I levitate out the room I grab my friend I'm like I'm so sorry like something just came over me like I feel so sick all of a sudden they're all like what's going on like Alex are you okay he's like zipping up his pants and I swing the door open and I'm like yelling at my friend I'm like let's go my friend runs she grabs all of her shit and I'm like it's an emergency we must leave I call an uber I go downstairs and as we're in the

uber I realize I had been sucking dick for 15 fucking minutes and all of my makeup around my mouth is gone so I'm like orange from the cheek up and just like pale ghost white from the fucking nose down. And I'm also in that era of my life where like I wasn't having like the best skin and like I had a couple of breakouts. So my friend has this like powder, this like translucent powder that's like loose powder. And we start dousing the powder onto my face. It's all over my face. The entire thing explodes all over the Uber. I have a black dress on. It looks like I have been railing cocaine all fucking night long. So fucking classy. We arrive at his penthouse. I'm like knocking on the door. I honestly probably look like so fucking sick. I'm like literally translucent powder like all over my face. And I'm so drunk at this point. And I have shit all over

my dress. And he opens the door and he's like what the fuck like have you been doing drugs like what is going on little does he know like I've literally just been powdering up for my man and I'm like I'm so fucking pathetic I'm so fucking pathetic my friend hugs him she's like good night to you both and she goes off and she sleeps on the fucking couch And I get into bed with him and we cuddle until the sunrise. And that was my first taste of recognizing that I could have some power in this relationship. Yes, that is so sad. I get it's sad. But here's the thing. Knowing that Red Sox man was laying up stressing about me that night and he actually didn't go out, like I would say I won the battle. Now, should I have gone over? Probably not. But I got what I wanted. Right. And I knew he cared. So here's the thing. Our

relationship, I would say, like definitely changed after that night for sure. He was more communicative, more invested. I didn't feel completely powerless. And I ended up pulling back, believe it or not, for my crazy obsessive ways and getting to a more like healthy place with the relationship after that night I really started to invest more time in the rest of my roster and as much as I was having fun with all of these other guys I will say he always had this special place in my heart because he kind of taught me everything I knew honestly like I remember I would then interact with fuckboys like Slim Shady and all these other people or like and I remember just being like this is child's play you know and like I had such an understanding of the game and the way it worked and all the things but I will never forget the day our

relationship officially came to an end. I was in preseason for soccer. It was August and I was on Nickerson field, which is the soccer field at my school. And everyone was leaving for practice. I was sweaty. I'm walking back to the dorms with all of my teammates and we're walking down Babcock Street, which is the street at BU that like all the athlete houses are on. And suddenly I get a text from my mom that said, did you see the news? And she then followed up and sent me an article with the headline that Red Sox man had officially been traded to a team across the country. And I remember tears just filled in my eyes. And I sent him a text immediately.

And I just said his name. And he called me immediately I remember I sat down on a bench and all my friends were confused they like see me crying they're like Cooper like why are you crying like are you okay and they eventually like just went into the dorms and gave me space and left me there to sit outside and talk to him and we ended up talking for like 30 minutes and it was weird because by the end of our relationship it was one of those things where I think through the push and pull of everything he ended up liking me way more than he ever thought he would have and he was quite emotional on the phone and I was quite emotional on the phone and he was quite emotional on the phone. And he was like, I want you to come visit me.

Like, this isn't the end. Like, I want you to come visit me. And in my brain, I knew it was the end. Like, I knew that the proximity and my life in college and his lifestyle and the parties and the clubs, like, that was influencing a part of, like, my, like, love and infatuation for him. Because again, like like I was in college like I just wanted to have fun and this guy had just like taken me on this whirlwind of

a romance and it was fun and it was exhausting and it was sad but it was it was like it consumed me and it was amazing and it took over my life and it took over my friends lives and it was so fun and if he's going to be across the country, I'm not doing long distance relationship also because you know, the reality is there's other athletes in the state that I hadn't really tapped into yet. You know what I mean? So it was really sad jokes aside. Um, and I could kind of tell, we both knew it was over and I kind of could tell we both knew, like we may lightly stay in touch and wean off, but like we had done it. You know what I mean? Like the relationship was at that crossroads where it's like, we're not getting fucking married. I'm a fucking junior now in college. Like he's like, we're done. And so I will never forget

one of the last things he said to me on the phone before he was Boston. Like I was living in his world and this man was just like basically saying like here are the fucking keys to the city. Like I trained you. I taught you all I fucking know. Now go fucking take it. And I know it sounds weird but it was oddly like the most perfect ending and what I will say is I am pretty sure a couple other Boston Red Sox athletes ended up messaging me in my career at Boston University and I never ended up going back to another Red Sox player because I just wanted to leave it untouched. Like in memory of him and us

and like what we did, like we did enough damage there. Like I didn't want to go back and I didn't want to relive like that organization. So that was kind of the end of my Red Sox era for the rest of my time in college. And I never really went to actually wait, that's a lie. No, that's actually a complete lie. I did go to Red Sox games, but it was for the away team. So I did hold my promise to myself. Okay. I never sat in the friends and family section again of the home team, but you bet your fucking ass I was in those motherfucking away seats. Shout out to the New York Mets. Shout out to the Detroit Tigers. Shout out to the Atlanta Braves, the New York Yankees, the Miami Marlins. You know who you are. But yeah, oh my God,

everyone's like, whore. Okay, relax. It was fun. But you guys get it. Okay, I fucking had a nice time, but I never went back to the Red Sox. And what I will say for all the naysayers, okay, and all the people that may have listened to this episode, judging me thinking I'm a big loser, desperate for a guy who didn't even like me. I am here to say I know I'm in my health and wellness era. I know that, okay? But there was one time that my era that I lived and breathed was toxic. And I'm here to say that the Call Her Daddy OG playbook worked for a reason. It was surefire and ironclad. And like I used to say, if you play the game, and not everyone can play the game, and not everyone wants to play the game, but if you play the game and you play it right, they will always come back. It was 2019. It was about three to four years later.

I'm sitting in the Lower East Side. Call Her Daddy exists. And I get a call from Red Sox man. And let's just say I was not delusional. After catching up, he ended the call by letting me know that he always loved me and he wished he could have said it back then. So he wanted to say it now. Bye, bitches. Okay, I fucking told you. I fucking told you.

But no, I will remember like it was pretty, it was pretty like full circle and it felt pretty nice to be like, oh my God, like I fucking knew it. Like I'm delusional, but I'm not that fucking delusional, you guys. Like I fucking knew, but I will always say like, I will always have love for that time of my life and for him in my heart somewhere. Like, I think he is such a nice guy. And we met each other at a very odd time in both of our lives. And I wouldn't take any of it back. It was fucking epic. And it was one of the best experiences I had in college. So coming full circle, the fact that I'm about to be back at Fenway Park, the Red Sox home, it feels right. This whole story time just has me thinking like about young Alex, who was so

impressionable and had no idea what her life was going to be and was just so enamored by honestly anyone who treated her well or treated her like shit but gave her nice things shout out Michael Kors because she was broke and lost and I feel, I will say, I just feel really excited to go into that stadium now as a complete individual who wouldn't put up with the stuff that I used to put up with, who now has this show and the daddy gang and who is fucking married and in a nice, healthy relationship. Like what a fucking concept. Yeah. I wish I could have told my fucking sophomore yourself, college self, like, bitch, you are going to be on that motherfucking mound one day

when he's retired and you're going to be throwing the first pitch at a Boston Red Sox game. So cheers to that. You don't have to fuck a player to get tickets this time, Alex. God motherfucking bless and good night. This is a testament to anyone. If you're so down right now, it always gets better. It always gets fucking better because when you're super low, you literally can't go fucking lower. Okay. So I am really excited. And all I hope truly now, all I hope, and let me just say this out loud so I can manifest this. All I fucking hope to God is that I make contact with that catcher. Okay. I swear to God, if I fuck this shit up, I am going to have trauma. I'm going to have a conversation with my therapist about how I ruined the one opportunity for full closure. So daddy gang, pray for me. Come party with me. I will see you next

week. God bless. I love Boston so much. It really feels, it feels right. Big Al is coming home, Boston. Bye.