Call Her Daddy - My Partner is Giving Me the Ick

Episode Date: September 22, 2024

Daddy Gang, Alex is back with a solo this week and she’s giving you some much needed fatherly advice. She discusses how to navigate losing sexual attraction to your partner, being blindsided by your fiancé, and knowing when to cut off inconsistent friendships. Enjoy! 

Sunday morning, fight this Colin. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Every Sunday's fight this day. Ah! What the fuck? That was pretty good, right? Hello, Daddy Gang. Welcome back to another Sunday session with your father.

Ye motherfucking ha. I am officially like three days out from opening my tour in Denver. I'm wearing a cowboy hat that I actually made. It costs like $20 in total to make this hat. I highly encourage anyone that is coming to tour, make a hat, make a little outfit, show up and go all out because the daddy gang, you guys have already been tagging me in your stories of all the things that you're making. And I am so excited to repost you on my story. I'm very, very excited for tour, but I figured today it's a lovely Sunday to just hang out, sit back, relax, and maybe answer some questions. You know,

we are in that time where we're getting into fall. Things can either get scary or things can get really, really happy and exciting. And so I'm here to ensure as your father figure that you do not slip into that like dark dungeon vibe as the weather changes. The weather may get colder, but you are going to be just fine. So let's just get into it. Let's waste no time. You guys have been writing in so many lightly unhinged situations going on in your life, and I'm here to solve it for you. So, Daddy Gang, welcome back to another episode. Let's get into it.

Okay, Daddy Gang. okay daddy gang we're starting off with a story time one of you wrote in and said hi father cooper i'm 27 and i've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years he recently proposed during our trip to italy it was straight out of a fairy tale and i felt like the luckiest girl in the world it's been four months since we got engaged and we've been knee deep in wedding planning. We even found this breathtaking church by the water where we imagined saying our vows and everything seemed perfect. But last week, everything came crashing down. We had our first meeting with the priest and literally right before we're about to leave the house, my fiance looks at me and says I have to tell you something my heart immediately dropped and then he tells me that when he was 19

he married his ex-girlfriend from South America so she could immigrate and start a better life here they were together for about a year and a half but it didn't work out and they got divorced I was speechless I knew about his ex from Brazil but never in my wildest dreams did I think they were actually married he told me it was a quick courthouse wedding for paperwork but still my mind was racing how could he keep this from me for over three years how could we plan our entire future together while he was holding on to the secret he says he was embarrassed and barely told anyone but now I don't know what to believe to make things weirder he says they're still on good terms and now she's moving to Bali to marry some other guy and start a whole new life honestly part of

me feels like she's just using people and I can't help but wonder was my fiance used too I love him but now I feel completely blindsided I feel like this is a huge part of his past that I didn't know about. Is it normal to feel this concerned? Should I tell my friends and family? Our wedding is less than a year away and I don't know how to move forward with this. I feel like I'm carrying this huge secret and it's weighing me down. Okay um this is a lot of information to take in and first of all I just want to apologize because I'm frustrated for you I'm frustrated for you on multiple levels number one because it is frustrating I feel like I've had a lot of you write in before and it's like why it is not fair

to withhold this type of information until you're like about to get married. Like I empathize with you and I feel like this is not fair because maybe had you not been engaged and maybe had you been dating, one, you could have made a different decision, but now your hands are kind of tied. And it's like, whoa, this is a way bigger conversation because we're about to get married. And now it's all convoluted because now I can't unsee you lying essentially about this for the entirety of our relationship like to not know that your partner had been married prior to you it's a really big fucking lie to withhold from your partner and so I feel like the first level of being upset for you is like this lie that he kept from you and and no one can argue like it's

not a lie like did you ever ask him if he was married shut the fuck up anyone that tries to go that route like no no this is a rite of passage that when you are going to marry someone you are probably in the understanding of like you've never done this before right unless they're gonna fucking tell you that they've done it before so I'm sorry that he lied and he withheld this information but But again, I think it's more frustrating that you guys weren't dating and he told you this. You are now like there's a ring on your finger and you are about to walk down the aisle this year. I'm definitely trying to find a way to be lenient to this person because when he was

19 years old, this happened. I literally feel like I was a complete different person when I was 19 years old. But with that said, I'm not 19 years old anymore. So if I did something that maybe I was embarrassed by and I met Matt, I would absolutely tell him one, because I'm not embarrassed by it anymore again, because I'm not 19. And I've had so much life experience since then. And I don't think the same way. I wouldn't make the same decision now. I'm in love with the new person. Like there's so many reasons that if it wasn't a big deal, and this is what like I'm struggling with for you is if it was such a small, not big deal, why didn't he just tell you? Why didn't he tell

you in like your third month of dating? Like, Hey, I want to be really honest. Like as we're talking about values and what we want in life and maybe a Like, hey, I want to be really honest. Like as we're talking about values and what we want in life and maybe a future together, like I have to tell you about this pretty big life event that went down. And like, I have to be honest, it was more for a green card situation, but it doesn't negate the fact that I have been married

before and I want you to just know that. Like that is like common courtesy, but it feels like there's just, here's the thing. Whenever someone is laying next to you in bed, it's kind of similar when you, when you get cheated on, right? It's like you have this person that lays next to you in bed every single night, you're building a life together. And then if they're able to drop a bomb on you, that is so shocking.

Like we, how, we, how, how did you not tell me this? You start to replay the dinners where you would have emotional conversations. You start to replay the nights after sex that you would fantasize about your lives together. Like the amount of intense conversations that you guys have had to have to get to the point of getting engaged have clearly happened. So the fact that he never brought this up, feels calculated you can't help but not feel like there was like a concerted effort to not share this with you and the guilt has been like building up inside him so much to the point where you're about to go see a fucking priest and that's when he tells you in my opinion that means he feels guilty because if it had been

a random fucking picnic before you guys got engaged and he was like I respect you so much and you deserve to know this before we make this next step in life that is a stand-up person but for him to negate this information and just kind of like oh by the way babe before we go to the church today wanted to just slide this little anecdote in it's fucked up because at the end of the day and this this is point blank, I think my biggest problem with this, it's all on you now. He got it off his chest. He's like, oof, I told her I feel better now. Now it's all on you. Now you are the person that has to, again, replay the conversations of, wow, I can't believe he didn't tell me this. And now you're replaying, or or were there any signs were there any moments that like I felt like he kind of wanted to try to tell

me but then he didn't tell me like are is there anything now because he's mentioned this girlfriend to you in the past like now are you trying to connect the dots of like is he being honest that it was just for a green card situation or was this a woman that he married and he was in love with and he had a first marriage and that would be so okay. But again, you're getting this information in piecemeal and it was now you're having to connect the dots. That must feel so isolating and terrifying. And so I know at the end of your question, your question was like, am I overreacting or am I not like react in the right way? First of all, there is no playbook in moments where a partner rips the rug out from underneath you and tells you something however you react in that moment is how you should react right like you can cry you can scream you

can be upset you can break it off like you can stay that is your choice but I want to validate you that daddy gang here is the moral to this story obviously this may be a situation that everyone is listening to being like oh I don't I can't relate to that yes you can we've all been in a relationship where information or if you haven't you're a fucking lucky bitch but information has come out and it rattles you again I equated it to cheating but there are I have been in relationships before where it's not just full cheating it may be like a family thing that they share with me that I was like, wait a fucking second. You never shared that with me. And sometimes they share things that just almost the end result really makes you just question like, are we not that close? How did you not tell me this? And then you go to the classic, what else haven't you told me? And it doesn't

even have to be about that situation. It can literally be about like, well, if he, if you withheld that he was fucking married or he withheld that he had an affair or he withheld that he was, you know, has a fucking twin sibling, whatever the fuck the thing is that they hold that information back from you, you can't help. But now you're going to be the one that spirals and they get it off their chest. And I think it's a really selfish way that people go about things. And that's why I feel like this was a selfish decision that he did this right before you went to the church. This was a very, very guilty conscious that needed to be dumped and rid of this. And now it's on your fucking plate. So my advice to you is, again, I think you need to have a conversation that is a sit down conversation, no alcohol involved.

You be in a good place. Maybe it's like during the day, maybe you have lunch, it's in your apartment, wherever you live, like don't do it in public. And you say, I have not been able to wrap my head around how we were building a life based on trust and a future based on trust. And I feel like my reality and everything is kind of shaken right now because I'm not really sure how you withheld something this big for me. So in order for me to move forward, and I'm not saying I don't want to move forward, but in my gut, what I'm thinking I need right now, which I feel like is a universal feeling. And again, you could have a different stipulation and you do your thing but for me and I feel like all of my friends like we've gone through parts of things where you find these things out is I need start to finish every

single detail and I need to this is not going to be a one conversation thing but I need to just start with an open and honest conversation and I'm going to ask you questions and I need you to just be so fucking honest and I know you may feel uncomfortable because this was in your past but this is now a bunch of shit you just put in my lap so it is time now you brought the past up because you didn't bring it up earlier so now I need you to sit in the past with me and we're going to need to go through this until I feel like I have some type of resolution from this and I feel like I can move forward. And if your partner doesn't give that to you ladies in any capacity, like that is not the right person for you.

You need to be able to sit across from someone and be like, I know this may be so fucking annoying and I know this is our fifth conversation about this, but it's really weighing on me. My last piece of advice is, it is a big fucking deal to get married and before you walk down that aisle I hope you know without a doubt in your mind that this is who you want to marry this is your decision and that you feel good

about this and I feel like the only way that you can 100% look yourself in the mirror that day before you go down that aisle is knowing you got all the answers. You feel respected. You feel seen. And you feel like the trust has been rebuilt to the point where you can build a life with that person. And if you don't get to that point, I don't know if the relationship is salvageable. So I'm really fucking sorry. But I know you are capable of this conversation. I feel like we talk about this so much on the show of just like, you got to communicate what you need. And if they can't meet you there, then yes, then we have to figure that out. But for right now, this is your first

step of getting that resolution and take as much time as you fucking need before you walk down that aisle, girl. I love you. And I am so fucking sorry. Hey daddy, we have been dating for 10 years, living together for four and compatibility with my boyfriend is amazing. We have been dating for 10 years, living together for four, and compatibility with my boyfriend is amazing. We are best friends. Physically, he has not kept up with appearances, you could say, which is making me lose a lot of steam sexually. I can't imagine my life without him, but dream of sleeping with other men. it just a phase thoughts oh this is fucking tough um this is tough for a couple reasons because first I want to validate you and then I'm gonna bring you back down to earth I think it is so understandable that a huge part of sexuality in the beginning when you meet someone is that

chemistry and when you meet someone you see them at a bar you see them on a dating app and you meet up with them like it is really important to have that physical attraction um I think what we learn though is there's a difference between physical attraction and then also like being attracted to someone and attraction is so much more than just physical right it's like you can have a one-night stand and you can fuck this guy that is so fucking hot but you're not actually attracted to this person if you're having a fucking eggs benedict the next morning having your cup of joe and you're like oh you're really not like at the same level like emotionally as me or I don't like your personality whatever so that's physical attraction versus attraction I think when it comes to

sustainable relationships you need to have the attraction to a partner and I think it is very normal through life that vanity I think we all hear it from like our parents and our grandparents is like looks come and go so it is really important that you're not just like so fixated on your partner's looks because you're that's all you're focused on because if it is all you're focused on then you're not in the right relationship because we're all gonna get fucking saggy we're all gonna get wrinkles we're all gonna like let ourselves go at some point because we're not now we're fucking 55 and we don't give a fuck about Instagram anymore. And we're not trying to impress people. You know what I mean? It's like all of a sudden life is going to keep going and we're all going to not look as good as we did the day before. But I think what I want to first validate you on, because I don't know the intricacies of your relationship with this person is I can imagine it is a bit of a hard reality and a difficult situation if you are watching your

partner who maybe you met this person and he was so active and he was really into fitness and he was up every morning at seven in the morning and he was going to the gym and you saw a version and your attraction to him was again not just his physique because he goes to the gym a lot it's like he's a motivated person he is consistent he is um someone that like really cares about his health and like he's just like a motivated human being and all of a sudden you've noticed after the 10 years that maybe he stopped going to the gym as much. And it's not just like, oh, life got the best of him. Maybe he is never goes to the gym anymore and stopped getting up early and stopped caring about

not only it's like his physique, he doesn't care about his health anymore. And I think you have to make sure that there you can discern like is this you being a little shallow being like oh I he just doesn't look as hot as anymore yeah that will happen over 10 years like I'm not as hot as I was 10 years ago Matt's not as hot as he was 10 years ago like that's gonna happen okay and it's just gonna get fucking worse so get ready but if what you're saying is your partner and the qualities that surround his looks are the motivation is gone. He doesn't get off the couch. He barely goes out anymore. He's not caring about himself. He never shaves. He's always laying in bed. Like he could be depressed, whatever it is that I empathize with you with, because what you're basically saying is the partner that I fell in love with,

the partner that I saw had this light in his eyes and he was doing all these things. It has changed. And that's a really, really tough situation to go through. So first, if it is just vanity, I'm going to say I truly believe that if you love someone so much and that is the love of your life, it doesn't really matter, you know? And like I said, looks are going to change a lot. And I think again, for me personally, like if Matt was not exercising, I don't give a fuck about if Matt's in the gym every morning and he has his six pack or not. What I know is Matt is someone that his mental health, like he needs to work out every single day. Matt's like, I just need to move my body. It is so important for how I feel about myself. So if Matt stopped working

out every day, I wouldn't be grossed out being like, Ooh, he's letting himself go. I'd be concerned about my partner because I know from what he's shared with me when he's healthy and at his best, what he will be doing, if that makes sense. So it's like, it's, I guess I would hip check you to make sure it's not just like he's letting himself go and you're like, oh, like he's getting fat and I'm not attracted and I don't want to fuck him anymore. Like, okay, well maybe then you can in a positive way, like talk to your partner about anything other than that, right? Like talk to him about like, how have you been feeling lately? Like how's work?

Like how are, how do you feel we're doing? Like if someone is going through a change in a capacity that you're witnessing drastically, it's not just because someone's like, I want to let myself go. Like something is probably going on with him. And I want you to know, like you should be in tune enough with your partner who you love so much that you've been with for 10 years to recognize why is there such a drastic change? And if it's just natural, like he's putting on more weight, life is going on. He's busy.

He's stressed. He's working harder because he's getting older and he wants to be able to afford a house for you guys and a life for you guys. Like there's so many things that go into this, but it's a hard truth of it sucks if your partner is, you know, not keeping up the way that you first met them. that life is so fucking hard and I don't know if focusing so heavily on someone's looks is probably the last thing you should be worrying about in terms of a romantic relationship and connection and life partner I'm not saying that if your partner was putting on like so much weight and eating like shit and not taking care of themselves, like for sure, like I want to be with a healthy

person. Like I want to be with someone that I know can take care of my children one day. God forbid something happens to me. Like I hope, I don't know. I get, I hope I'm making sense of like you need to really try to differentiate what is this letting himself go weight gain that you're talking about and is which bucket does it fall into is is it just a little bit of like letting himself go because so much is happening in life that that really is not his priority bitch I fucking get it like there are fucking months I have gone without working out and I know friends and we talk about all the time like fuck I can't get back in the gym I've been so busy with work and the last thing I want to do is go to the fucking gym no I want to sleep I want to eat

I want to have a drink after work I'm fucking stressed like that is the human life experience like I think there are very few people and I wish I was one of them that are like motivated by going to the gym Matt is one of them he's like I literally get up every morning and I'm going to the gym. I'm like, I don't relate to you. So like everyone's also different. I hope that answers your question. I don't know. I feel like I love Matt so much and I'm trying to think like if that was him, like I definitely would have a conversation with Matt more in terms of like, hey, like I was like thinking about myself lately and I like don't think I've been eating healthy and I've been up late at night,

like working too late. And I want to get into a healthier routine for myself so I feel better and I have more energy. And like, I feel like we both have kind of like changed our habits since we met. And I'm wondering like, how are you feeling? And check in with them in not like a vain way. Because I worry and I feel like I've seen women write in this to me. And I think we also have to be mindful. Like it can also be hurtful for a man too, ladies. I know we're usually the ones at the, you know, forefront of it. But like saying to your partner, like you've really let yourself go.

Like you're getting fat. Like I don't know what you expect. Like I'm not really into like sex right now because you're not like, I'm not attracted to you right now. That is, that should never come out of your mouth. Cause you see what I'm saying? There's so many other conversations that you can have around that. How are you feeling? I feel like I know you and I know when you're at your best and I feel like maybe you're struggling recently because I can tell you're not sleeping as much. I can tell you don't go to the gym as much or we're not even focused on our health.

Like it's we're just like kind of like coasting through life. And I kind of wanted to have a reset for ourselves because you're my best friend and I love you so much. And we both vibe off of each other and I want to be a good partner to you. And when I'm having bad moments, I want you to be a good partner to me and pick me up and like we're in this together and if you don't feel that then I think you have your answer of like maybe this isn't the right person for you but I'm I'm sorry you're dealing with that and listen I don't think it's ever easy to watch a partner drastically change from when you met them so and again I'm also not in your relationship like I don't know the level of what you're talking about but to say that you're no

longer like wanting to have sex with this person I'm assuming there's like a pretty drastic change that you're feeling and he's just kind of like not he's not doing it for you right now but again I don't think it's just his body again Again, attraction goes so much farther than that. He clearly, if this is happening to his body, he's not feeling good about himself maybe because he's been stressed about something. Talk to him. Check in with him. Because if you are not having conversations, I wouldn't be wanting to fuck Matt if we were

kind of just like living in this limbo of not really having deep conversations. Like when Matt knows he's getting fucked, when we've had a two hour dinner where we're not on our phones and we're just talking for hours, I'm so mentally stimulated. I'm like, oh, I'm horny. Like, let's go. Like, I don't know. I, I, um, I'm sorry though. And I know it's complicated and I know women vice versa. You may have had a partner tell you at one point like you're letting yourself go and your body and all that that's life we are going to fluctuate in weight we are going to look different it's all that's all like the obvious shit that's the shit that shouldn't matter but for some people it really does so I love you and love you and I'm sorry you're dealing with this because there is nothing.

It's not fun to feel like you are losing attraction to a partner. That is without a doubt the honest truth. And I also think you have to listen to your gut. Like maybe you are in a place in your life where you're like, I want a fucking hot boyfriend. Here's my last statement that I'll say. I'm going to keep going for like an hour on this. I think you need to check in with yourself of like, you've been together for 10 years. You're living together for four years. Like maybe you're also just starting to like get the ick of this person and the itch. And it's all, you're kind of like unable to see this person in a

romantic way because you've been best friends forever and you've been dating for forever. And maybe you guys have let yourself go just because you're so complacent with each other because long relationships like that you can kind of I don't know you can start to kind of like fall out of feeling like you need to show up for each other and and impress each other and look sexy on a date night so maybe you just need to have like a complete overhaul of like we gotta spice it back up I think we're in a rut or the relationship is over. And maybe that also is your sign. So good luck. I love you. And I'm okay next question how to deal with a friend who can be a really good friend sometimes but then a really bad friend other times oh my god I feel like every single girl listening to this podcast we can like close our eyes and be like yep that, that's the friend. I have had that. And this is

my advice to you. As we get older, your ability to give friends time does shift and it goes in phases, right? Like there are some friends that can be very, very available to give you so much of their fucking time because they're at a place in their life that they can afford to give all of their friends a lot of time. And then we have all been on that spectrum. Then we've all been on the side where it's like, we are going through it. Maybe someone's in a toxic relationship. Maybe they're going through family shit. Maybe they hate their fucking job. Maybe something is going on with them and they cannot be a consistent friend. I think this is like the most obvious situation that so many people go through. My advice though, when you're on the receiving end of this friend that is very

inconsistent in being there for you, I think you need to not give that person so much power. And I feel like if you are giving a friend so much power that you're so upset constantly it is kind of on you to create boundaries like as much as I hate to say it like my relationships with my friends are so fucking important however I am never putting too much of pressure on my friends to show up for me at this stage in life because I know we're all going through so fucking much. And so a friend that is on and off, take the fucking friend for what they are. And again, if you're at a point in your life where like you really cannot handle that they keep coming in and out, okay, then you can decide to kind of pull back, but stop then engaging

in the good and getting upset at the bad. Set a boundary for yourself. See this person once a month. See this person once every three months. Whatever works for you. But I also think like when someone shows you who they are and what they're going through at that point, stop bashing your head against the wall being like, why won't you be there for me? Like I have said this since day one. My mother, Lori Cooper, shout out, said this from when I was a very, very young kid. Why would you want to be friends with someone that doesn't want to be friends with you? And I know it hurts to hear it, but if someone is showing you that they can't be a consistent friend, it doesn't make them a bad person. It doesn't mean that they're out to get you and

they hate you and they're vengeful. No, they just don't have time to be a good friend right now. Because guess what? In life, it's not just be a good friend. It's be a good daughter. It's be a good sister. It's be a good friend. Be a good employee. Be a good girlfriend. Be a good fiance.

Be a good wife. Be a good fucking person to yourself. Show up. It's so much. So I think that you can have empathy for your friend who's not showing up. And it's on you to create boundaries so you stop being like holding the fucking bag and being like she ditched me again yeah shame on you for continuing to fucking sit there and be shocked that she ditched you again

I think listen I get it hurts friendships are some of the most beautiful dynamics you can have in your life. They are so fulfilling. There is something so beautiful to know like you're not fucking this person and they keep coming back around and they love you for who you are. It's beautiful. I fucking love my girlfriends. But I have had so many waves with so many of my girlfriends and I am immediately able to tell when she's going through it. So I need to step up for her. And even when she doesn't call me back or if she's going through it, I'm going to keep calling and I'm going to be consistent because I know she needs me right now. And that's life, right? When a friend can't give you what you're giving them, when the fuck have you ever

felt like you're on the exact same page with a friend? Even when you are like you and your friend are single, one of you is going to get the boyfriend first and then it all blows up and even when you're single if one of you goes home with someone and then the other one is so drunk and goes home alone and is like crying about the ex and you weren't there for me like you're never gonna win you're never going to win with friendships you're never gonna have the romantic dynamic where your relationship should be completely even and fulfilling and respectful and if they don't call it's it's like a problem no no friendships it is a fucking seesaw and you have to get ready

to constantly feel like you have to be aware of what your friend is going through and you need to be okay when they don't fucking show up for you and I'm not talking about a friend that just keeps fucking being a piece of shit and you're like well then don't be friends with them but if it's a friend that clearly is in and out they're going through something doesn't make them a bad person but it definitely makes you not the smartest if you keep sitting there in your room being like she did it again okay so do something about it. Find better friends in that moment or find friends that can show up for you in the moment. But I think when,

this is what I'll leave you with at this episode, Daddy Gang. Friends are going to show up in the way that they can for you and you need to either accept it or if it upsets you, change it for yourself. I feel like as I'm growing up, I would, unless something really,

really drastic happened with like one of my childhood best friends, there is no need to sit a friend down and berate them for being like, you did this wrong. And we don't have time. Take it for what it's worth and move on. You can have a conversation with someone once. And if you say, Hey, I love you so much. And I, it means so much to me when you're my friend and you show up for me, but I'm going to be be honest I'm struggling a little bit because there's this these inconsistencies and I love you so much and sometimes I feel really let down and maybe that person's gonna say hey babe uh yeah it's because I found out my mom has fucking cancer that could be one option where it's like oh she gives you the reason why she's not being like consistent

or two she may be like oh I'm sorry like I'm just really fucking busy and like sometimes I just like don't have the bandwidth to blah blah either answer is an answer and listen to when people are telling you where they're at in their life and you need to just surround yourself with enough people where friends aren't boyfriends boyfriends are supposed to sit next to you no matter what and be there no matter what. Girlfriends are supposed to be there for you, but they also have their own fucking life. They're not romantically joined at the hip by you. They're not sleeping in bed with you every single night. They got to also figure their shit out. So I get it's hard to operate when dynamics are changing, but I think it will cause you

a lot less stress if you start to love your friends for what they show up and what they're capable of giving to you in the moment and not stressing too much on when they're being flaky. I'm not saying it doesn't fucking suck when a friend flakes on you or is inconsistent. Oh, it sucks. But I think it's time to start allowing yourself to have more autonomy over your life. And instead of waiting around and being like, oh my God, this, it's okay. It's okay. She must be going through something, but you're good. Keep it fucking moving. And that's that. So I don't know. And

I know it's all different, like college versus getting out of college and in your early twenties versus in your thirties, like life just changes a lot. And, and I think I would probably have had a very different answer when I was in college. Let's say answering this, I would have been like, oh my gosh, you need to sit them down and you should have a conversation and, and you should decide whether it's worth it or not. And whatever, blah, blah. I don't know. I'm just at a different place in my life where I'm like, I know all my friends are fucking going through it. Every fucking one of my friends were at such different points. I have single friends. I have friends that are married. I have friends that are engaged. I have friends that are pregnant. I have friends that are in toxic relationships. I have friends, like I have friends that are trying to figure out their sexuality. I've all over, all over. And so I'm aware that every week we're all going to show

up a little bit different because of whatever's going on in our life. And as friends, you can't take it too personally when life is life and college is different. High school is different. But once you get out into the real world, like bitch, we're all fucking drowning. So it's like, just fucking hold on for dear life and, and be grateful that you have great friends that do, you know, show up and the inconsistent ones take them for what they are. Sometimes they're the most fun friends. Like, Oh, she ditched me again. Fuck it. I'm going to have a nice movie night and that bitch will come around in three months and we'll go out. We'll have a good time. Love ya. Okay. Daddy gang. I know this have a nice movie night and that bitch will come around in three months and we'll go out we'll have a good time love ya okay daddy gang I know this was a quick one but I wanted to just quickly pop in before tour I cannot wait you guys to open in Denver I have never been

to Denver but one of my best friends lives in Denver so I'm very very excited and it's kind of this like western theme which I'm loving lately. So bring out your cowboy boots or bring out your sweats, make a cute little hat, make some friendship bracelets and get ready to make friends because the daddy gang at these tours, I'm not kidding you. I don't even need to half the time be there. You guys show up hours before, meet friends in your city. I know there's going to be a lot of pre-games. It doesn't mean you have to drink. If you're someone that's not drinking, you can still completely participate. Go to the Unwell Instagram.

And I'm pretty sure all the girls are putting where each city is going to meet up beforehand. You can get a mocktail. You can get a cocktail. Get some fucking phone numbers and have a good time. I feel like there's just so much heaviness in life constantly. Like every girl could use a night out to make some friends and to have some fun. So cheers, daddy gang. I love you.

I will see you fuckers on Wednesday and to the Denver, Austin and Dallas daddies. I will see you fuckers this week on tour. Love ya.