Call Her Daddy - Nelly Furtado: Embracing the Single Life (FBF)

Episode Date: December 26, 2025

Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Nelly Furtado. Nelly opens up about her recent, painful breakup and shares how she’s having more fun being single and dating than she ever did in her past. She also reminisces on what inspired her most iconic songs and gives her take on break up sex, the importance of confidence, and what she calls “flingationships.” Enjoy! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Nellie Furtado, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Hi. I am so happy we are finally doing this. I'm the biggest fan. Thank you for coming today. Oh my gosh, this is so fun.

So I've only been here a few minutes. I'm having so much fun. I'm having so much fun. We have to tell the Daddy Gang, who are my audience. First of all, Daddy Gang, Nellie's daughter is Daddy Gang. can you tell me what did she say when she found out that you were coming and call her daddy well she's been wanting me to come on the show forever she's been talking about it since like we started making music for this album some of it together and uh and i was like yeah i mean i love that it would be

great like your show's amazing you're amazing love your energy so she's thrilled she's like right on and then i was like oh okay can come help me with it so yeah her friend are here today they're excited she'd almost stayed in the room but i was like i'm just going to be like looking at her the whole time so she's in the other room it's so fun to have you here and it's so cool to like know that your daughter is daddy gang meanwhile i'm the biggest fan of you so it's all coming full circle um you've had such an incredible career obviously you've been in the spotlight you've also made decisions to step out of it at times like when are you at your happiest oh wow in general in life yeah oh my god probably when i'm like at the park with my children just kind of like pushing them on a swing

or something. But then I'm also quite happy when I am kind of waving my freak flag at a concert and singing on my concert, on stage. Because it's also my other chance to really be myself. Like I do feel very myself when I'm on stage. Like I'm like, this is my chance to just be as weird as I want to be. I fit in when I'm on stage, right? I think though that's like a relatable, somewhat relatable idea of like we have these two sides to ourselves. Like no one is just one-dimensional, right? Not at all. And that is like key. That is like, uh-huh. Yes. Would you say you're able to have somewhat of a normal life? Like, if you're at the park, are you at the park as like mom, Nellie? Or like, do people like come up to you and are you? No, I am very good. I'm very

chameleonic, like, not only in my music, but like in the way I look. So I can be, I like, you wouldn't, you wouldn't recognize me. I mean, sometimes I don't care. Like, sometimes a little, it depends what mood you're in, right? So true. Like sometimes you're like, let's be social and other times you're like, yeah, but usually if I'm around my kids, like I'm not really, yeah, I'm pretty, I don't really want to kind of engage in that way. Okay, I have to know, because this is call her daddy. What is the difference in your opinion dating Canadian men, most American men? This is such a good question. Now we're getting the juicy bits. Just so yeah, all my friends know this about me. I love love. It's my favorite topic. I try to set people up all the time.

poorly I don't have a very good success rate so they kind of roll their eyeballs at me little cupid but I do love American men I do but I've found some interesting Canadians along the way you have I was gonna say like if you had to say some high quality yeah what is your type my type ooh it's changing okay yeah my type is changing yeah talk to me about it well I'm in my 40s now so I'm about I'm 45 I'll be 46 soon which is love and And it's like a new beginning for me. It's like a very fun time in my life because I didn't really get to be single in my 20s, right? I was pretty like locked down in relationships like from the time.

I'm not locked down in a negative way, but just like, you know, I was in long-term relationships for much of my 20s and 30s. So only recently I think in the last few years I've become single again. And so fun dating. I love it. You do. I do love it. Wait, Nellie, because it's on my watch when I feel like it.

Right. You're like, on my terms. On my terms, boys. And it's like when you come correct, you know what I mean? Yeah. So now my type is like, come correct, you know, they ask me out on a date or for dinner or just like, it's all in the way. You know, the words, you know, use the sort of, yeah, I like confidence. I adore confidence.

Not you saying come correct, boys. Come correct, men. I'm obsessed. Yes. That's a great attitude to have because I know I have a lot of single girls listening and it's like I think a lot of people want to have that like excitement towards dating. Yes. But you have to enjoy being single authentically. You can't just say, oh yeah, I'm out here. I'm having fun date. No. If you if you're looking for a relationship, for real, then be authentic about that. But if that's not what you're looking for, ask yourself, what do you want, you know? And if you want to just have fun and see what's out there and that's fine too. True. You just have to know what you want. But be real with it. Yeah. We're going to talk so much more dating. First, I have to acknowledge there is another very famous musician that obviously is from Canada who you actually performed with. Can you please explain how you ended up singing? I'm like a bird with Drake. Oh my God, Drake. Yes, we go way back. Actually, he just asked me to come to sing again a couple nights ago on Saturday night. He's like, he asked me at 11 p.m. to show up at 1 a.m. and I love him to death. but I was like, I am not showing up without glam. I thought you were going to say like, I'm asleep. You're like, bitch, get me glam.

Then maybe I'll roll up. I was up. But I was like, it was an event. It was like this really fun event in Toronto. And I was like, no, I can't show up without glam. Because, of course, you know, he's so famous. It'll be everywhere. You're like, I want to have my beat on, okay?

I want to make sure he looks. You know, two hours. Fit, outfit? Wait, like, you got to come. Snatched to the gods with the lashes and the beat. You're like, babe, give me five hours. Yeah, I know. So you just didn't go.

No, I could. I couldn't make it that time. I'm obsessed. But anyways, yeah, I do love him a lot. He's a great guy. And I think that, I mean, he's done a lot for the music industry. You know, Toronto was a secret for a long time. A secret that I loved as well growing up there and making music there in my teens, my early

20s. But now it's just so nice. He kind of really put Toronto on a map in a different kind of way in Canada in general. But anyways, yeah, that's how that went down. The fact that you can be like, Drake, like, I don't have my makeup tonight. Like, I'll pass on this one. Like, oh, my God, so baller. I know.

I kind of wish I did, though, because I saw a video and he looked pretty cute. He had a yellow track suit or something. And he looked good. Shout out, Drake. But then I'm like, what would I have worn pink? Because it would have been all videos of yellow and then, you know, like what color. I love that you think of all this stuff. That's what performers do.

You always think about what things like pop, especially in pop music. you think about what things look like too. I want to talk before you were a performer because like it is such a glamorous life and we get to talk about like the outfits and the fashion and all of it. But before you were famous, you worked as a housekeeper in a motel. Yes, a chambermaid. Was that your first job? Well, that's a good question. My very first job was actually, it was the same year. I did like, I would jump over the fence at my childhood home and I would do filing for like a home inspection company so I would but I would it was long hours but it it was helpful I think to just sit there and organize and then I got a job at the motel it was called the robin hood motel yes and my mom

worked there my sister my aunt my cousin my mom around the housekeeping department she was like the head honcho there and so she hired me and I would every morning just show up I mean harder in the teen years when you're out the night before and then you get there at 6 a.m. and I'm like where's the coffee? Right. Are you like hello? Yeah, yeah. And my brother was gardening there at the time too. So we'd be like Saturday morning's like, okay. But it was such a good experience because I worked there for probably 10 summer straight. Wow. I even worked there one summer when I thought like after I graduated high school and I went to Toronto and thought I was going to be famous in two months, but reality,

you know, like that's not how it works. Your goals take a while to achieve. Move back home, worked there again that year when I was going to college in my hometown of Victoria. And that was the year where I was like, oh, I wonder if my dreams will come true, you know? But growing up doing that was good because the work ethic. Because when you get into this industry, ooh, the hours can be long. When you're starting out, it's a lot of hustling. I wanted to talk about that, though, because the juxtaposition of like being someone that is hardworking, working with your family, and then you get famous. And I think everyone in the world now kind of has an understanding at least of like, when you get famous, people start treating the famous person differently, right?

Is there a moment that comes to mind when you really started to notice, like, whoa, people are just treating me nice because I have all these things and I am famous now? That's an interesting question. I think for me in particular, my parents come from these are really, really, like, working class roots. Like, my parents are from the Azores Islands and from a tiny island called San Miguel, like from a tiny village, you know, farmers, you know, like just they were already, like, picky. beans and like carrying their water from you know the main water fountain to home like when they were like 10 or 11 you know what I mean and they're already working at the farm by the time they're 12 and so that's my that's where I come from so you really can't get boozy on people when you come from those who are you did you get canceled in your family so you can't you can't

even go there like I have no business like acting like I'm better than anyway because I know I'm not, you know, because I go and I'm humbled. I think that's so fun to hear, though, because obviously, like, I didn't know that, but hearing that immediately, it does paint a better picture of, like, how you are so normal and, like, even talking to your daughter, like, before you came in here, no. You're like, I need to start being bourgeois. I need an air. But it's interesting, even talking to your daughter, how she was like, I grew up with, like, a very normal life because she had stepped kind of out of the spotlight. And now all the resurgence of everything and you coming out with this album and, you know, TikTok and everything.

She's like, now I'm seeing my mom out there being like, oh, like, oh, my God, that's Nelly Furtado, but it's cool to see that, like, you've been able to live a pretty normal life while also having this superstardom on the other side of your life, if that makes sense. You know, it's really funny. Sorry, I have a story in my mind because she said, I remember, you know, be careful what you wish for, right? Because she's like, oh, mom, yeah, you should start working again. And then a year later, she's like, why are your hair appointments five hours long and

your nail appointments are three hours? I was like, like, you've kind of become a divam. I'm laughing like, well, but, you know, this is my job. You're like, sweetie. You know mom, Nellie? Now you're about to meet Nellie for Tato, the superstar. She said, what do you mean? You can't pick me up at the airport.

I'm like, sorry, my hair appointment went over. She was, sorry, she was livid. I'm obsessed. Oh, my God. It's like, well, you want a mom to be back at work here. This is doing my thing. I'm back to work, babe. It's what it takes.

Yeah. That is amazing. She's like, God, damn. it. I read that magazines used to edit your photos by lightening your skin and changing your body. How did that affect you back then? It's so funny because I always find it interesting in what people cling to in stories.

So I did a really like a. general interview about with Madonna for people, but then that became a thing like, oh, this is this story. But then I realized, oh, I get it. It's like, I wrote a song about it in 2003. I think it was my second album. And yeah, it kind of, it's called powerless. And it's like, paint my face in your magazines, make it look lighter than it seems. Paint me over with your dreams. Like, Sheave away my ethnicity. So at the time, it's more about the idea of, okay, wait, like, I'm in this bit like when you're young and you're 22 23 it's like it's a whirlwind right like all of a sudden becoming successful at the career you always dreamed of and you you know if you're in it for the

music like i always was um i think that all that other stuff with the visuals and the aesthetics and the oh wow they they they like you and you look great on the red carpet and but then the opposite is true as well and just kind of questioning it all but um it is true yeah i'd bring my own clothes to photo shoots because I was like a girl like I was 21 22 young girl but yeah you'd see at the time I think yeah the beauty standard was a bit different so I think that they would Photoshop a lot and just kind of like oh I thought I had hips or my but but it's it's hard anyways because when you see yourself on TV for the first time you know you always look different on the camera and it can be a little jarring like to be on TV and in at the spotlight that much at a young at a young age I guess so when you look back like

because obviously like I think it's helpful like I get what you're saying you're like wait I did such a long interview and that's the one thing people picked up on I think no I know no but I but I think it's I get what you're saying it's like that I think for a lot of people now pick up on things because people finally do feel more comfortable to talk about things that were kind of like hey that was kind of a weird decision like am I not good enough as me like yes when do you oh my god when you look back like when did you feel your most confident when you were younger You know, what's so funny, I feel the most confident now. What do you think that is?

100%. Wow. It's now. I don't know. Something happened. I don't know. I just had like, I had the 40s clow up. I was just like, wow, I just feel like me, you know?

I feel like I know what happened. I had time to work on my inner life, you know. I had time to work on the things you don't have time to do when you're busy, right? And then, you know, when you're burnt out and you don't get to journal, you don't get to, you don't get to. you know go to therapy you don't get to go do those things but I had I had a good time of three or four years of doing that so I think by the time I got to this stage in my life um yeah I just feel um super happy with myself yeah um even when I get criticized you know what I mean like I like even I mean who doesn't read the comments sometimes right it's hard not to I think it's human

nature to go oh what are people saying of course and then you're like wow certain things right I feel like me personally have experienced like my body's polarizing, you know what I mean, which is so it's crazy to say that, but it is because I see like, oh, wow, why did, it's, it's just like, wow, there's a lot of, like, comments and people arguing about, like, what I look like, or like, you know what I mean? It's so interesting what feels and triggers people, but I think at the end of the day, it can be really positive because you're starting conversations and that comes from confidence. And I think that's what it is. It's like when you're, when you are confident. I don't know what it is, but I guess sometimes it could be threatening or very

empowering. I think sometimes, yes, like people online are like so triggered by certain things, which is interesting because you never know what's going to trip people up. And the fact that you're saying like my body is so polarizing, like why do you think that's been? Well, first of all, my body's changed a lot. I've had three kids. I'm curvy, you know, and I have a curvy body. And, like, my, if you go to, like, where I'm, where my parents are from, from Sam Miguel, my body is no big deal. Like, everybody, every girl on the beach has the same bum that I have. But, like, it's like, I love it.

It's true, though. So it's all context and just maybe they're comparing you to another era when maybe you looked different or anything like that. But I've had fun with it because I've been wearing very body con clothing and it's very empowering. And I just kind of, I love, I love feeling. this confident. I literally didn't even wear underwear on stage till like a year ago. I'm upset. Not even. It's only been six months. I only let the booty out like six months ago. I'm upset. Nellie, I appreciate

you talking about that. It's 25 years into my career. I love it. I love that you're talking about that though because I do feel like people tell you like, oh my God, your 20s are going to be the best years of your life. And as much as those are really fun years, I do think the amount of women that I get to speak to, it is very inspiring to hear like no it actually only gets better because you do get to know when you're young and you're 20 as fun as you can have you don't fully know yourself yet you haven't fully lived enough to really like know what makes you happy what makes you sad what makes you like uncomfortable and it feels like I've now had enough conversations with these like really inspiring women to be like oh bitch it only gets better like get ready like get ready for your 30s get ready for

your 40s get ready for your 50s like that's really exciting yeah because you learn you know yourself and then you can kind of look back and not laugh at yourself but find things charming like oh wow like even in my 30s seems like a lifetime ago right you know what I mean but each decade is so beautiful but I kind of feel like as women like we just get more confident and when you can block out the noise of all the comments that are negative it's like oh yeah bitch my booty looks amazing bye like get out of here when I was 37 I had like a flingation ship I just coined this term wait sorry what flingation ship is like a fling relationship so flingation ship oh love with someone who was 23 and at the time it was just like it wasn't that big a deal but like

I was contextualizing it in my mind like oh well that's so interesting because your perspective continues to change as you get older and you reflect on different things in your life differently like my new album just came out but I was listening to the one before it not this one so it's like a diary so you can go back and go and so for me music is a diary so it's kind of fun it makes it fun. Let's talk about some of your iconic songs. Yeah, I'm like a song. Um, okay, first I just want to discuss, I'm Like a Bird is such a classic. What inspired that song? I'm Like a Bird was inspired by, I was in a relationship in my very early 20s, right? It was kind of like a first relationship, kind of, first kind of more like very serious relationship after my

sort of long term high school boyfriend. It was the next relationship after that. And yeah, I was in a relationship and I was out in Los Angeles finishing my album kind of on my own. I was very isolated. I was probably 20 or 21 or something out there kind of in this little apartment just working on music and my collaborators were kind of older than me and they had their girlfriends and their wives out there but not me. So it was a bit lonely and they're like, okay, write some new songs, you know, and bring them into the studio. I think it was our first day working in L.A. finished my album after having made the rest of it in Canada. And I was sitting on a sofa. At the time, this place was called the Oakwood Sweets here in L.A. And you'd go to the gym and you'd

see, I don't know, like, kids, I guess, who are doing, I don't know if they're working with Disney or what they're working. But, you know, it was the place that people went to make their dreams come true where they would stay when they weren't yet living in L.A. So I sat on a sofa and picked at my guitar and I wrote three songs that day and uh and the third one I wrote was I'm like a bird and I'm telling you the one I wrote before was trash it was a really bad song really corny not good and you know yeah you never know you might just be on the edge of something good you know do you remember like when you played it for everyone like on your team like was everyone like my manager was at the studio yeah my manager Chris was at the studio and and and he's like oh like

like okay i want to hear what you wrote today so i played him the three songs and i was convinced the corny one was good oh it was really bad i can i can sing it wait please sing it for me i'll sing it in a second but like it's really crazy no but anyways so how corny are we talking all right so this is the one that i thought was better okay and i'm like a bird okay it goes okay wait it's like he was cock sure and i was a pussy had it in the corner I couldn't come out here's cock sure and I was a pussy had it in the corner I couldn't come out and I think the end was like here kitty kitty like I swear to I'm not even kidding I thought that was better than I'm like a bird which I then was the third song on the the demo that

I'd made that morning no and my manager said I don't know yeah okay I think I think the bird one's really good they both had bird themes one was cocksures like a rooster I am literally like a little zany no this is like the best thing I've heard all day to know that it was between like a cock and a pussy versus a bird yeah oh my god watch that literally trend on um TikTok now and people are going to cup that isn't it funny though because I actually forgot about that till like like a couple months ago and I was like whoa that's crazy that I'd written a very horrible

song and a song that might be quite good right after. I mean, I'm like a bird is, I feel like forever going to be iconic. I'm curious because that song is so inspiring, right? Have you ever walked away from someone that you felt like was holding you back, like in a romantic relationship? Well, that song was about that. Yep. So that song, I did want to, I did want to break up, you know, with that guy.

So I kind of wrote the song. Oh my God. Did you write the song and then break up with it? Well, I sent it to him. And he, and he, and he said, hey, I feel like, I heard the song, like, what's up? Nellie. Yeah, I did. So you, no context, you just sent him the song.

Well, I was like, oh, this is my latest thing. Yeah. No, but no, I think I ended up that, I ended that relationship on tour, but it was literally, it wasn't very, it was like from a pay phone, you know, on tour, like, I was with my band, you know, like it was one of those moments. It's very normal. It's kind of like, you know, your college boyfriend or something, you know, and then you move on.

So that was my college, just like making music and touring. So I only did one year of college. So then I met him around that time. So, yeah. I had to make my dreams come true. You had to. I had things to do and places to be. But like not like as sad as it is to get broken up with for him.

It is kind of iconic that there is a man out there that can be like that song is about me. Like, that is pretty fucking cool. I'm sorry. Like, I would take that song being written about me. I can't. It's true, actually. Historically, are you usually the one ending relationships, or are you? Oh, I like this question.

I've been dumped before. Okay. Yeah. Only once. Oh, flex. It is a flex. No, that's not true. Two or three times.

But more like when I was younger. But, yeah, like, having your heart actually broken by someone that doesn't want to be with you anymore really hurts really badly. So sad. Yeah, it's really. really upsetting and I hadn't experienced that till like much later in life till quite recently in the last five years and that was really hard for me because I wanted to hang on I wanted to hang on and I didn't get it and I built up a lot of expectations and things based on things that maybe

were more about me and selfishness right and then it was like okay like when do I come to grips with reality but I've also left yes I've been the end breaker upper yeah do you think it's easier to be the person breaking up or getting broken up with Oh, my God. It's hard. It's easier to break up with someone than to have somebody dump you. Being dumped is the worst. It is pretty hard, I think.

No, no, no, it's the best, though. Because then you grow. Because then you go, it's that whole thing. Like, you've got to hit dirt, man. You got to hit rock bottom. I have hit rock bottom before. And it's beautiful because then I just come out so strong. And it's good.

And I'm not saying it's like perfect. and I'm like, oh, you know, we wear our wounds, don't we? Like, our wounds never really go away, I don't think. We can work on them, you know what I mean? We can work on them. But, like, that's okay, you know. You have stuff to deal with, stuff to work through. But, yeah, I think it could be a good place, that bottom of like, oh, you know what I go

back to a lot? Oh. He's just not that into you. Just look up, if you're ever struggling with somebody who's broken up with you or somebody, even anybody, a flingation ship. something like that and you feel they're not giving you the tension you want and something's off just like go look up quotes from he's just not that into you it is so healing because that often i've done it before i think twice in my life where i'm like oh humbling it's good it's good stuff

me too yeah i'm obsessed with you you're like yeah it's great stuff it really just knocks you back to reality. Yeah, because it's that whole if he wanted to, he would thing, right? Absolutely. It's so true. It is. It's true. We're girls, if we wanted to, we would. Right? Done. Okay, one of my personal favorite songs of yours is man-eater.

How would you describe the woman you're singing about essentially? This is so interesting. So I really did kind of face that off of a woman that was friends with at the time that was like a colleague was like engaged to her and she was a knockout

and just really was, did personify that man-eater energy. And what at the time, what I really, really felt at the time when I was making that whole album with Timbaland and when we're making man-eater, as I did feel very, I was actually only about 26 or something when I wrote that song. But I felt like there's something really empowering about masculine and feminine energy together. You know what I mean? When somebody embodies both. and I was trying to capture that in a song and I really feel that when I play it live it feels primal, it feels like it's for everyone

it's like it's like almost like a verb like you're man eatering you're like man eatering right now you're man eatering yeah I think it's an energy you know it's such a confident song I actually play a part of it in my tour because I'm like you do oh I can't wait for you to see it

Nellie it's like all of these men come up and they're like magic mic dancers around me and I'm just in my element I'm the only woman on stage And it's like, it is like this empowering feeling when you hear that song. I love that. I love that for people. It's so good. Did anyone in your team ever when you have like the song, you're like the pussy cock, the bird,

the man eater, promiscuous girl, did anyone ever think that it was like too edgy or was everyone around you like, we love this? No, not really. I think I was like just making that record in Miami. I was feeling the vibes. I was feeling myself. I'd spend all day in a bathing suit, like playing with my kid on the beach, you know? Like, I was feeling myself in the sun, to be totally honest.

And I was newly single, see? Every time. God. Newly single brought us a man-eater, Permiscuous girl. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, just kind of had fresh energy.

That kind of seeing the world through new, like, I guess, red colored glasses. I love it. Yeah, the energy is very, like, red and, like, passionate. But also with Primiscus, I actually didn't write that chorus. It was Timbalin's idea. It was. Yeah, it was. And then I sat down and finished the lyrics with,

attitude, this amazing rapper that he was working with at the time. And I was hesitant, but my good friend Jim Bean sat me down. He's like, I think this is authentic. And I really like this energy and you sound great on it. And I did know that I like, I'll lace up the verses and I sounded good and all that. And now when I sing it, I love it. It's like karaoke time. It's promiscuous is another one of my favorites. I made a really bad music video to when I was younger, which you'll never see um can you tell me though like from that song how has your because it is a very again embolding empowering song how has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years How has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years?

That's a good question. And I will also give a quick shout out to the music I grew up on. So Salt and Peppa, TLC Trailblazers, those girl groups in the late 90s when I was a teenager, I was coming of age, 14, 15. I was blessed to have that music to listen to. It was like Mary J. Bludge, TLC, Salt and Peppa. And they were giving this empowered sexuality and choice. It was about choice. It was about I'm in control of my choices.

And that was the energy we wanted to capture with a song like Primiscus. It's a choice. It's an even playing field. I think to feel sexy, to feel sensual, you have to spend time on yourself. You have to spend time alone. You have to spend time just you have to tap into pleasure, which is joy, right? Joy is pleasure, right? So if you really feel and embodied, like in your body, like I'm not going to lie.

I feel pretty sexy when I'm like dancing, you know, like I'm in the dance studio because it's such an act of self-love to apply your mind and body to something like choreography and to just be, to feel that, I would say it's like almost like an equilibrium. And I think from there you can feel very confident, you know? And I think it's something you develop. I think your sexuality is something you develop, you know, as when you start, you know, whenever in your early teens and then you do, you just develop for the self, you know, I think that's a healthy place to start, you know?

I think that's such a good piece of advice because I think sometimes women can really feel like, oh my gosh, like whether they were repressed when they were younger or religion or whatever folds into it or shame. Like sometimes we can feel like maybe I just am not as sexual of a person as I want it to be or maybe I don't feel as empowered to like own it. And it's really like the more you know yourself, the more you'll know what you enjoy and the more that you'll feel confident to be able to explore. Yeah, it's almost like it's a quiet game.

You know what I mean? Yes. Love. You're just on the search for whatever, like, makes you feel your best and no one can tell you. And you shouldn't ever search for it through someone else. No, I mean, I think people can teach you, you know? Like, I think you can grow in relationships.

Like, I think you can grow and you can kind of, like, pick up things as you go and, like, that ebb and flow again. But at the end of the day, yeah, you got to feel, you got to feel good. You got to feel good. Right? Do you fall in love easily? I'm changing. I used to. That was a pure. Yes, Alex. And I'm a lover. I love love. I need muses. I'm a muses girl.

Like I need, I think it's because I'm an artist. I'm a writer. I create. And it's like I grew up thinking and just feeling like I'm, I love like lovers. Like I love to say, but I love the idea of being just really inspired and the joy in dating and like that. It's like there's nothing like that. But I also. enjoy my solitude so much that I have had people ask me like friends like colleagues like why are you even in a relationship you have so much going on in your mind you should just date yourself how are you even able to be and it is true I like my solitude so much that sometimes it is hard for me to be in a relationship yeah because I'm just like uh like I just get away for me it's too hard yeah it's like always felt like more comfortable to be like a like a like a an enjoyable kind of like I'm not going to say part time I don't know what to say no what was the thing you said earlier of a flipuationhip no uh what was oh a flingation a fling aanship you're

you're in your fling asianship you're always wanting to be in your fling asianship is that how you say yeah yeah there you go fling asianship i think it's fun and just kind of um i don't know i follow my my passions and my lust and my uh my interest too i do have ADHD and i think it's affected me uh women experience it differently than men I was only recently diagnosed, but I read a great book, and it talked about how even as women with ADHD, we can pick partners that kind of make us feel like we're in the passenger seat because you want somebody else to make all the decisions for us, and we just want to coast, right? Interesting.

And I found that really interesting when I read that because I was like, oh, yeah. And I think when I'm on my own, I'm more able to kind of navigate to my whole life in a way that works for my brain and for my comfort levels. Oh, interesting. But I do love love and I do love falling in love. And I find that fun still, but I think my priorities have changed. I mean, I think that's amazing to even just acknowledge your priorities of change and you even talking about, like, recognizing something that can affect your relationships, you being like, I don't want to just coast.

Like, I do want to have more control over my relationships. Even you just recognizing that will probably affect the next relationship you get into and how you approach it, right? Yes, and you want to stay yourself. I think that's the most important thing. You don't, I have had a tendency to lose myself in relationships. So, yeah. A part of why you returned to music was because you were going through a difficult breakup.

You talk about in these songs that experience. Can you share, like, what made this breakup so painful for you? Oh, my God. Oh, we need a sip of water. Yeah, let's take a sip of water. I saw your body just go, oh, two of an hour, sweetie. Where do we begin? Yeah.

You know, I don't know. Isn't it sort of like life, you know? And then again, again, we talk about this experience. even when you're in your 20s and you're growing. Everybody, I mean, I always wanted to have a family, you know what I mean, and have children and this, we all have that dream, you know, of just kind of settling down and like, oh, now I'm at the yellow brick road. This is so great.

Oh, wait, and now I'm at the yellow brick road, right? And it comes in all these variations, but I think I just had that feeling like I had finally kind of arrived at that, you know, yellow brick road. And it was like going to be that for me. Yeah. then it turned out that it wasn't and that's why it hit so hard you know what i mean i absolutely because it was the first time it had felt you know like that right you know where it was like oh you know you know you had that profound sense of a certain kind of peace you know what i mean and a certain

kind of certainty right and it's that idea when the certainty just kind of gets pulled out from under you or the rug gets pulled out and you go oh my god i have a lot to learn still i have a lot to learn about me and you might have had a horrible experience you know and I for sure like I went through a very difficult time where I think I accepted some things that uh that I would never accept now you know in terms of um the way you're treated yeah and could you share just a little bit like not yeah I can just for women listening like of course I know you can't see it when you're in it sometimes you cannot at all you cannot see it at all when you're in it and sometimes we just love so hard and we love and I'm sure there's women out there too

you know when we become mothers we're quite vulnerable when we become mothers because we just want what's best for our kids and we want to protect them and I think that in general I'll say that it can really happen to anybody feeling powerless you know what I mean you could have all the money in the world and all the resources but in the mind, really that is your only wealth is in your mind. And so if you can't feel strong enough and clear enough to move out of a situation that might be toxic for you and not the best for you and also abusive in any way, you know. I think that, yeah, like I'm definitely like not here to like tear, you know,

of course. anyone down or anything but i think that it's honest to say that it is hard when you're in a relationship um that has that imbalance i will say and i and and and abusive qualities yeah it is hard to uh it is hard to see outside of it because you isolate yourself you stop talking your friends you don't tell you know your friends you don't tell you know your friends the truth about what's going on in your life and you live in a bubble and it's hard to admit you know that you have chosen um to not say anything right it's hard to admit to yourself it is it is right and then on top of that the love right love you know keeps you there because oh you

want to you know and i and i will say that too like i think as woman with you we tend to sacrifice our happiness sometimes, you know, once we're, once we're in it. Of course. Once we're, once we've fallen in love, right? We tend to, we sacrifice ourselves sometimes. Yeah. And we think we're doing the right thing. Yeah.

So often. And I appreciate you sharing that too because I think when you are in those situations and you get so isolated, a lot of times you're like, how would I even begin to unravel this, right? Like how do I even begin to get away and like to restart? Fear. Fear is huge, too, because when you have, when you fear, you know, when you have fear, that can be a very powerful emotion. You can be afraid. But you can, it kind of like you create it in your mind, you know, you can be afraid like, oh, what's the person going to do to me or say about me or like, you know, et cetera, et cetera. I don't know. You just, you fear, you fear that. And again, it's heightened when you have, you know, like, kids and like there's whole other things to think about. And I, and I also agree with you. Because. I have talked about this on the show before, too, of, like, the thought sometimes of leaving and all the things that you think it would take to leave. It just feels more daunting almost than just staying. Yeah. Can you share, like, how do you know? I know. I have a song about it on my album.

And I appreciate you writing about it because it's like, it's so real and so many women listening to this are going to be like, Nellie, thank you. Water. Thank you for sharing, though, because it's like, I do think, and it's not like on you to help all these women, but it is like the more we talk about it, the more people I know someone's going to be watching at home right now being like, oh my God, if Nellie was going through this and she says that she got out of it, like, I can too? Like, can you share how you knew it was time and like how you actually took the steps to get away, essentially? I think there were moments where I almost had the strength, but again, like something would keep me there, you know, where I was like, oh, this is, you know, this is the moment. So I think that in, I will say, having remarkable friends, like I'm very lucky. I have some really, really, really amazing friends, really core, like childhood friends that have been there for me, my whole entire life. They just kind of knew what to say to me and knew what was too much or too little.

And even the hard stuff, you know, I have some friends that I will say to ladies out there, you know what, those people that are telling you what you don't want to hear, those are the ones you need to keep close. Hopefully they know you well enough to not repel you with judgment or anything like that. And it's not judgment. You can sense when it's love. And I think everyone has someone, you know, maybe one person or one voice in their life. that is maybe like reminding you when stuff is not okay and like what your worth is and what

behavior is unacceptable if you cannot see it for yourself it's so true it's like you just need one person yeah you do one person yeah to just kind of be like no actually um i'm i'm not gonna talk to you anymore if right right or whatnot but like but tough love doesn't work all the time but like it's in doses right um and i think i'm trying to think of another thing that helped me I think, ooh, geez, that's such a good question. I think you have aha moments, you know what I mean? They just have sometimes like a moment where you're like, okay, you know. And then sometimes, I guess I was lucky in a way because maybe like on top of it,

I wasn't really the one who chose at the end of the day. Like, do you know what I mean? I went through a rough time, but then at the end of the day, it wasn't really my decision. but then I quickly learned that then, okay, now I'm doing me. Now is, you know, I'm doing me now. It's such a vicious cycle that you can get so wrapped up into. And then when you get released from something like that, it can almost feel like withdrawal symptoms because you're like so used to the up and the down and the toxic. You do.

And then for some reason your brain only feeds you happy memories. It's really weird. Nelly, it is so fucked up. You're like, maybe she was actually. The restaurant, the coffee shop, like the movie we went to. And it's like very weird. It's so fucked up. That's a tough phase.

Yeah, that's tough phase when your brain feeds you all these happy memories. Let's flood you with happy. Because there are happy memories, right? Of course. That's why you stay there because there are some great things, right? So it's, it's tricky to navigate. It is. It's a big mind FUCK.

But I really appreciate you like talking about it that way too because I know so many women write in feeling like I feel so much shame that I'm even thinking about this person that hurt me and I feel like it's like don't feel shame right no don't feel shame about it it's not natural you know what I mean like it's it's natural to want to you know to still feel a multitude of feelings and it yeah it's just totally normal it's a process you know what I mean because the truth is it's like anything right like how many band-aids do you have right and how long do those take to heal it takes time what is a difficult lesson that you've learned about love that you would tell your kids one day oh my god

love it's funny i almost call my album let's be honest you know nothing about love oh my god stop i'm serious and that was my it was either called seven or let's be honest you know nothing about love maybe i'll call the deluxe that i'm going to say that's what you call it in your head and then to the world it's seven you're like what it really is let's be honest you know nothing about love oh my god what the story of everyone's life right it's like we know love of course like i know great love, you know, I'm blessed to be a mother and have wonderful family and friends and things like that. So I know what love is. But if I was to give advice on romantic love to my children, I'm going to vote for the golden retriever. I'm sorry. You've got to be best friends. I think you

have to have an authentic true friendship. It's about partnership, you know. Forget all the other stuff. it's about partnership but also stay you man stay you yeah and listen to your friends when you have a gut feeling your friends are usually always oh that's the other thing your gut is always right the little voice in your head that tells you and this is not even this like and this is past relationship but it's always right yeah and it's so hard because i know it's so cliche to say but it's like then why do we always ignore her gut i don't know why are we always like but that's like we gaslight ourselves i have a song actually i think i'm going to put on my deluxe call gaslight yeah another album title was red flags oh my god too relatable i'll take these um so anyways yeah

so gaslight we gaslight ourselves in a way you know what i mean because it's like boom boom boom boom oh it's yeah it's like an echo chamber can you share like how do you get your confidence back after a breakup oh me um kind of like exercise and going out. I started to go out a lot. Oh, after my breakup. I was ready. I was like, I'm, because it was such a long dwindling breakup, but by the end, I was like, okay, I'm dating now. Right. This is awesome. Like, I mean, after we did, you know, all the ending stuff. And then I, and I, yeah, just went out and had fun. And just, I think I, like, really found, um, a lot of joy in, like, dressing up again and, like, clothing and fashion. And, yeah, because I think I was,

like really kind of wearing like a mommy uniform for like three years what was your mom my place was a block away from the target oh what were we buying at target okay i well i do remember taking my my teenager on a tour of target of a university because she was shopping for universities out in california i thought my shirt was nice but it would look like a tablecloth because it was blue and white checkers but it wasn't even a flattering cut and I didn't have time to shop so I would just grab like whatever I saw nothing against Target but like

I love Target's fun you can find great stuff but I think that I didn't diversify got it I wasn't really like I didn't have time I didn't have time right or I just wore stuff that was baggy which is totally normal like I breastfed all my kids yeah of course you're gonna you need easy access to the boobs so you just weren't feeling yourself as much

and then once you got through the breakup you're like you know what I'm gonna like start putting my cute outfits on. I'm going to do my glam. I'm going to get out there. I'm going to go have fun. Well, the studio helped me too. So I started going to the studio and I started writing and I started recording music again. And I got so many emotions out. Oh my God. I got so many emotions out at the studio. I would cry in there. I would get angry in there. It was so good for me. It was such a good therapy. Wait. Is it true that you actually wrote like 400 songs? I did. Yeah. Nellie. Can you just like rewind and tell me like how like if this house was my studio, what I would do is I would

just like we're in LA today so I'd be like who's in LA today which are my friends are in LA which producers which writers which friends and that's what informed this album this album is really just like a let's party type of album because I was getting over a breakup and I was like my social life became the studio oh so like you know like I you know like I you know I don't I wasn't in the mood to like go away and write songs by myself on a guitar it was like no we're bringing everybody in I would invite like people after their concerts to come hang out and make music with me Yeah. And then my daughter was really coaching me on, too, because she was having fun in there, too. So it was like, we're making music now. We're, we're doing, we're this like really cooking now and like really having fun. How do you pick between 400 songs of what to put on an album? I like to stay up late making music till really late till like the sun comes up and I get really inspired and I get my bongo draw. Just joking. Picturing you in there with a bongo drum, like, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

my jembe and i just go till seven no but it's pretty much yeah we just like a bunch of music we just have fun and um the way i pick the songs oh my god it's almost like i always say like you when you go and like you put flowers together at a flower shop it's like why do you like those flowers right and i think it's also like whatever goes together and it's like a bit like a fashion collection just kind of putting it together i do love it one session i had had like a bunch of different people who like didn't even necessarily make music like i think at one time like a like a like a a comedian ended up in there of this girl and I was like oh this is what you got like I'm very like I'm a hippie that way like if you were I would make you sing no yes I believe anybody can

write a song I've done that before I've done like art we let's do it right now how do you start okay how do you start writing a song like where does you even start I'd be like what's your favorite childhood vacation you went on oh mm shit oh like Disneyland yeah it's got you in your feel. Yeah, I'm like, oh my God. So we start there. Okay, Disney. So like you're in a Disneyland. So what did you like about it? Oh, just like the euphoric feeling of seeing these things come to life that I always saw on TV. Yes. Yes. Just like to be like, oh, like euphoria. Everything's telling me a story. Yeah. Oh, seen it before. Yeah. Seen it before. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's how I write. That's how I write. Starts a song in two seconds. Yeah.

And then we'd go somewhere with it if I keep going. But yeah. I am fucking obsessed. I am not okay that you just said that. Thank you. Bio works above the castle blow in my mind. No, your voice. I can stay here every night. It's like whatever. Nellie. Me, just being like, okay, for the rest of the interview, just saying, no. And then we call it Disneyland. What is your stance on break up sex? Oh, that's a good question.

I mean, I think it's necessary at a certain stage. It is. Let's be honest. I'd be honest on this show. We're being very honest today, Nellie. I think that's all we're doing. Come on. I love it.

I mean, it's all it's like energy. you have to like you know squeeze the lemon right it's like squeeze the lemon until the juice is gone so that's what it's like so then i'm one day like well this lemon has no more juice so no more breakup sex yeah i think it's natural that is and i would hear from other people too yeah i think that's a great take i love that take right guys when they break up or something like yeah yes well yeah we might have seen each other once or twice or last week. Literally, literally. Um, okay, so are you single right now? Okay, you're single. I'm dating though. Like I'm dating, but I'm dating different people. Oh, yeah. Just like, yeah. You've got

like a little roster going on. I mean, I'm a lot of roster, but it's like, I feel like that's derivative. Yeah. Yeah. I think. Yeah. I like I like the roster. I've got a plethora of option. No, I mean, I call it the flingation chips. So it's like, ooh, like it's like a potential. I was. I was, say that i have like there's different potentialities and there's different like um levels of like interest and just kind of and romance in different areas i love this i'll say i'll describe it that way are you going so yes i'm single again love i've been single for a couple years what is your ideal date i went on a really nice date recently oh where it was daytime okay yeah you love that yeah i kind of like i think i recommend the daytime date for a first date because it's broad daylight

So the particular date, it was very hot, so it was like very sweaty. But that was unfortunate. I actually had boob sweat. A classic. I know. Or just like dinner, like that type of thing. I love being like, yeah, just kind of like. Chill.

Yeah, just going out for dinner. But I like the idea of dressing up for a date sometimes if it's appropriate. But ironically, I like never have time. So like get ready so fast. But I do like that idea. Yeah. Would you ever bring a guy to one of your shows? I brought guys to my shows.

Yeah. But it's like, it's not really fair because they just go, oh, my God. Right, they're going to just, like, fall in love immediately. They're like, I love you. It's like, show me so different. But it is cool because you get to show, like, what you do. True. You know what I mean?

But they're immediately in love. I mean, it's pretty awesome. The concert's awesome. Like, it's cool. You know, you can see me go up there and do my thing. Oh, my God. Yeah, so I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm strategic about inviting. The wind, though, right?

It's not always, like, appropriate in the right setting, but... For sure. It's almost like, what would be, like, the best weapon in the weapon shed? What will be called? Like, a machete? Oh, like, a machete. The show is, like, a machete move. Yeah.

You'd be like, come to my shell. So, like, you know, pull out the machete right away. You want to time it out. Anyway. What? I'm upset with you. That's your next question. You're, like, moving on.

Oh, my God. The machete is the show. Nellie the machete. No, like, yeah, I'm done. We're moving on. What are some non-negotiables that you're looking for in a partner? Like, you're like, if they don't have this, I'm out. The self-work.

Yeah, for actual partnership, like long-term partner, I would want somebody who's worked on their self in an authentic way. Not in like a surface way, but like more like this, the spiritual side, like a little bit of exploration there, you know what I mean? but like authentically and also like some growth in that department i would say maybe growth and like specifically like ego i think that's just pause on that we need some third eye coming into the mix right like it's it's when the ego is out of control it's like it can especially when you start dating a guy you can first think it's confidence and like hot but then all of a sudden

you're like oh you're a dick but yeah you want somebody confident yeah but but but Confidence comes from, I think, a genuine good heart, you know what I mean? And I think, I think for partners, you want somebody with a good heart, you want somebody nice. Yeah. Like, I don't know why, but, like, sometimes we're attracted to, you know, people that aren't that nice, just, like, to people. Watch how they talk to, like, the people you encounter, like, on your date or whatever, when you're dating, like, how they treat your friends, your family. If your friends like them, if your family likes them, all those big green flags, you know? Sometimes we don't listen to our friends, and, like, our friends at some point don't really care.

Like, they have no agenda other than wanting you to be. happy yes so when people when you guys are trying to like math it in your head like well my friends just don't get it they don't see that good side of him it's like no no your friends just want you to be happy they don't care listen to your friends if they're like he's a dick there's a reason and they're only seeing a percentage how crazy is that and they can even see he's not a good person but we rationalize in our head it's a lot of rationalization okay back to your music you ended up taking a break from music um were you nervous at all like how people were going to react with you coming back I'm very lucky because I got to tippy toe like very slowly into the waters and then things kind of lined up in a really cool way.

So started with, I was already making music by the time I kind of showed up on stage after five years with Drake at an event in Toronto and I sang and it was like, ooh, this is fun. I realized, oh, maybe I have something new to offer this. I've worked on myself. I feel different. Maybe I'll be better at my job now, you know? I'm older, better, wiser. That vibe? Then I started booking more shows.

I booked a show in Australia where I met Dom Dala. Then we make this track and then we're playing it at Lollapalooza and Coachella. And it's like crazy. And his raves that he throws after his shows, like just the whole thing. So fun. So everything lined up so nicely that I was making my album while I was getting out there again. So it wasn't so scary, right? It was baby steps.

And that, to me, was a blessing. What did you learn about yourself from writing this new album? Oh, my God. Wow. I learned that. I've become an even better, like, producer and person who brings people together because I got to try new ideas. Like, I got to try, like, like, I have, like, like, weird juxtapositions of people

and sounds on, on my album. And I think that's just because, oh, my God, I love people. Genuinely, I have such a curious mind. Like, I told you, like, I'd love to have you in the studio, and I want you to sing. So I am more interested in, like, the craft of making it almost than the outcome. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah, interesting. Yeah.

Like, I'm more into just, like, oh, the. mad scientist part you know so like and i found such confidence in there this time around i've always been confident but this time i was more open-hearted like before i used to not like writing songs in front of people and now i don't care i would just turn the mic on like this have everything blasts to the speakers it feels like you're at a live show and then we just like hang out and have a good time so i think i grew in vulnerability that's amazing my vulnerability yeah it's really incredible to see how your life has evolved and like you're such an incredible talented performer and producer and you've built an incredible family and you have these gorgeous children. Last question, what are you the most proud

of with this new album as a whole? Why do you want people to go stream it? Oh my God. I think the album has a lot of emotion. I think it has a lot of purity. And if you just want to escape, like if you just want to feel like music that makes you feel something for real, I will humbly say that I think a lot of the songs do make you really feel something and make you really escape. And I spent my time making it and I definitely think it's just really good quality music genuinely. Nellie Furtado I... But of course, I'm just thinking about what do I make now?

Like I'm just never satisfied. I mean you have 400 in the bank. Like meanwhile I'm like it's high. Stop. Would you ever pull the songs from the 400 and make another album? Yes. I'm working on my deluxe right now. Who is your dream collab? Dream collab-o. I mean, I still I still think it'd be cool to have a song with Drake. I think people would love that because we're both Canadian. The lore, you know, the Toronto lore. Can you please? Yeah. That's our last request is yes,

Anneli Furtado, Drake song, putting in their crust now, done. Yeah, I think it would, I think it would be really good. Thank you so much for taking the time and coming on today. It was truly a pleasure. You are even better hanging out with you in person. Thank you so much. Oh, thank you for having me. This was really fun. I had a good time. Yeah, I even cried. I'm going to be able to be.