Call Her Daddy - Outsmarting the Fuckboy

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

Join Big Al for a solo episode full of chaotic story times and life updates. Alex reminisces on the time her school girl role playing went horribly wrong and when she enlisted her parents’ help in a genius plan to outsmart a fuckboy. Then, Alex reflects on her recent weekend in Chicago with her girlfriends and discusses how to best maintain adult friendships despite being in different phases of life. Enjoy!

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Hello, Daddy Gang. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I am aware that this week is the presidential election. And by the time that this episode comes out we may all know who the next president of the United States is but I am recording this episode before all of that so the Alex you're looking at right now has no fucking idea what the election results are or who the current president may be so don't worry no politics will be discussed on Caller Daddy today. Today is going to be one of those days where it's just a little TLC time, you know, just me and you baby.

So let's hang out, let's tell some stories, and I'm going to give you guys some life updates if Last week was obviously Halloween and while I was mindlessly scrolling in bed on TikTok, I came across a video that made me giggle. It was this girl who was like, shout out to all the college freshmen who are having their Canon Halloween event this year. I paused on it and I screenshotted it because, first of all, if you're not up to date on TikTok lingo, a Canon event is basically a life experience that you'll never forget

that it either altered your life trajectory or it altered your brain chemistry and it just really shaped who you are to the core. That is a canon event. Is it dramatic? Yes, but I personally fucking love it. So it got me reminiscing though, trying to think like, what was my Halloween canon event?

What was my freshman year of college specifically? What was that canon event? Here's the thing, when you're a freshman in college and Halloween rolls around, that's the point in the year in my opinion where you're kind of starting to figure things out a little bit, right? Like you're beginning to have a friend group established. You kind of know where the parties are and where they'll be happening. You essentially start to feel like hot shit, right? And

since you're feeling yourself so much, the obvious next step is that you dress up as the obvious next step is that you dress up as slutty as humanly possible for Halloween okay because you're not cool enough yet to like go who the weird embarrassing route like you're still trying to make a name for yourself on this campus and you're freshmen so you're like I want people to like fucking remember me and think I'm hot so my freshman year I was none other than a slutty schoolgirl. So fucking original. I had the pigtails, the glasses, the micro little skirt with the thigh highs, the whole thing.

Okay. So I remember I was all dressed up. It was Halloween weekend and my friends and I were hitting the frats of Boston on Alston Street ready to find ourselves some men at BU. And I remember shortly into the night I found myself talking to one of the Boston U hockey boys that I had my eye on for the first semester, okay? And so I'm laying down my moves, I'm popping out the tits,

and eventually I worked it enough that we headed back to his dorm to hook up. And this is where, this is really where the cannon event begins, okay? Sit back, relax, and get your fucking popcorn. I was a water bottle of vodka deep at this point, if you know, you know, and I'm in the elevator up to the dorm,

and I decide in my drunken state that dressing up as a school girl was only the beginning, right? So we got into his room and we started to aggressively make out. And when the moment felt right, I knew it was time for me to fully embody my costume. And I flipped a switch and I began to roleplay as a schoolgirl, as if my life depended on it, naturally.

You know, you may be wondering like, oh damn, like was play a thing that you had been doing before, Alex? Were you role playing it up in fucking high school? Absolutely not. This was probably the first time I was fucking role playing. I had zero experience with it. But in that moment, I felt like a goddamn veteran. I got into character and I was the school girl and this guy was my teacher.

I started slow. I started slow, I started off easy, throwing a little softball. I said something like, do I get extra credit if I make you come? Just like some light porno classics, just really scratching the surface. Okay, and as we kept going I kept ramping up and I was so into my character that I

Wasn't picking up on the cues that this guy He wasn't necessarily He wasn't vibing with my performance Okay It still hurts to say to this day and so after I was hitting him with line after line, like given him honestly, like grade A type shit, his energy had clearly shifted. And he kind of looked at me and was like,

shh, shh, shh, just like enough talking, like just suck my fucking dick, okay? And again, intoxicated, like you don't take the social cues like you would if you weren't fucking drunk, Daddy Gang. So I'm in my own world. And I was fully a school girl at this point. There was no turning back. And I was not ready to give up yet

because I'm still like in a fantasy land. So I'm like, okay, if he doesn't want me to talk, I just gotta act this shit out. So, I remember I jumped off this man's bed, I stumbled over to his desk, and I'm on the hunt for a ruler. And unfortunately, newsflash, unfortunately guys in their 20s

apparently don't keep rulers around, so I found the next best option, a thick spiral notebook, a five star thick boy, okay? And I brought the notebook over to this man and I handed it to him turning around so he could spank me with it. I was so proud of myself.

Like I'm thinking I'm rocking this guy's world in the moment. I'm like, oh my God, I'm fucked up and I can think of this genius shit. I'm literally bent over, ready for Papa to give it a swing. And then I'm just kind of like, air is like bristling my butt hole. And I'm like, he didn't spank me.

Okay, he didn't spank me. He'd even pick up the fucking book. Okay. And after a minute I looked back at him kind of like, what the fuck is he doing? I turn around. This man was sitting up, getting out of bed, putting his fucking pants on. And I watched in absolute horror as he proceeded to button his pants, put his shirt on, he handed me my schoolgirl skirt and he said the most dreaded words a girl can hear. He said, I'm gonna go back to the party. Like, no, my ego in that moment,

to be like, my skirt was off, I'm ready for the big boop boop and he won't even fucking touch me. In that moment, I realized I was not the schoolgirl of his dreams and I had in fact made a massive fool of myself and I think I remember like waking up that morning so fucking mortified about what he probably told his friends

and was like talking about with them that morning. But the glorious part of college, I will say, is that you are never, ever, ever, ever alone in ruining your life, especially on Halloween. Something about costumes clearly makes all of us girls act fucking insane. And I remember I'm tucked in bed in my single fucking trunk in my little dorm room and I'm on the verge of just flinging myself out the window and ending it all because I'm like, it's the hockey guys, they're gonna talk, I was supposed to be the hot new freshman, what the fuck?

And I remember the next morning, my first friend barges through the door and she has cat makeup smeared down her face onto her tits. She has a little bandeau on and she is wearing long, long, long boy shorts. She has size 16 shoes on, sneakers, like whale fucking boots and she comes in announcing that she had fucked the captain of the crew team, hence the size 16 fucking shoe.

And she says, and when I say fucked, I say that loosely, because I attempted to ride said captain of crew team with a little soft wiener, okay? And then the rest of that morning, all of my friends trickled in my fucking slutty ass bumblebee of a friend, tried to fuck the wrestler. She got tag teamed by two men that night. It literally just, no, my friends came one in one.

And if anything, I'm not gonna lie, my story was like low key not the worst. And I just remember we talked about it and we debriefed. We debriefed so hard. I will never forget all of us that morning, just really hyping each other up. Cause what the fuck else can you do? And saying, it's not that bad.

Like he probably won't remember. Truly the reason we were doing this, all of that, was so that we could get the courage to walk into the dining hall with our heads held high and potentially come face to face with our demons. Like if I saw that man in the dining hall, this is quick note just for daddy gang. If you ever have an awkward moment with a hookup

or someone or anything in your life, the rule that I live by is it isn't awkward and you can completely morph that person's memory and perception if you are so fucking normal the next day that they're like, oh wait, I forgot she's like hot and cold and like, wait, like she's so much more cool than I thought she'd be about that. Like trust me when I say I wanted to literally exit

and run and transfer, but I saw that kid the next morning in the dining hall and I walked right up to him and It pained me to do so and I was like last night was Weird fun. What are you guys doing tonight? And my I hope Well, I know my my casualness about the absolute Demolishment that I did to my personal career and my ego and my reputation kind of went to the wayside because he saw the tits, I was looking good and he said like, oh, we're going out tonight.

And I ended up dating the kid. So you know what? It's never as bad as it seems, but that moment, it really put me, it put me into the ground. It let me know like, you're not shit Alex and don't for a fucking second thing that you can just swing the shit left and right

without consequences. So that was my freshman year. Honestly, not as bad as it could have been. ["Dun Dun Dance"] My junior year, Halloween, oh my God. Okay, story time. This was a different type of canon event. This is where I would say I was less humbled and I really started this year to master finessing fuckboys.

Let me set the scene. So my junior year, I was talking to this professional athlete who lived in New York City. I knew that he would have the best Halloween plans. And so I was determined to get myself invited and to spend the weekend with him. Now the problem was this guy wasn't really the type to make plans ahead of weekend with him. Now the problem was, this guy wasn't really the type to make plans ahead of time with me.

You know, it was more of like a spur of the moment type of relationship and I had to kind of be ready and on call at any given moment. We weren't dating, so yes, he was a fuck boy and yes, I was at his like beck and call, okay? But don't fucking judge me. So I was so fucking desperate that I ended up leaving Boston and all of my friends on Halloween weekend to

return home to good old Newtown, Pennsylvania. Now why did I do that? Let me explain my logic here. I needed to go home so that when I got the last minute text asking me to join in on his Halloween plans, I would be only one state away, ready to plot my ass on New Jersey Transit and have a straight shot into New York City, okay? So I lied and I told him that I was gonna be in the city and I was gonna be out with some of my friends.

Little did he know I was literally sitting in my fucking childhood home with my parents watching them prepare for all of the young, young sprout kids to come and trick or treat in our cul-de-sac, okay? But he thought I was gonna be in New York, okay? And so my costume this year was very strategic. I knew it was guaranteed to make this man fall in love with me.

He was obsessed with Game of Thrones and I was going to dress as Khaleesi. At that point in college, I had platinum blonde hair that was so fake, it was nearing white, honestly. Now I look back and I'm like, that was ill. But at the time it was perfect for the costume. So I didn't even need to wear a wig, okay? It was perfect. And I would by no mean, if I'm being truthful with myself, like I wouldn't really consider myself a Halloween girly,

but I put fucking effort into this costume. Hours of blood, sweat and tears. I was so committed. So it's Friday night of Halloween weekend. I am sitting at home in Pennsylvania with Lori and Brian. It's early in the afternoon, I would say it's about like two or three o'clock, and I start texting him. It starts a small talk, but my goal is to have him invite me to his Halloween plans in New York

City, okay? Now the problem is, because I really want to break this down and the desperation, I needed a strong, firm invite from him because I had to get on a train, pay for a train ticket. That train ride was an hour and a half to New York City. And when I got there, my broke ass could not afford for him to cancel the plans, because I had nowhere to stay.

Like I couldn't afford a New York City hotel room, right? So if I was going into the city, I had to be able to rely on this man. Now, why wasn't I just truthful? Why didn't I just tell him that I was in Pennsylvania and I would come into the city if he wanted me to, and if he wanted to invite me to his plans because it gave him too much fucking power okay this is when I was in my toxic days this was in my I couldn't be

truthful with a man phase okay because anybody who has ever hooked up with a fuckboy knows the chiller the plans the better and you know what I'm talking about if he knew that my mom was putting me in her fucking minivan and driving me to the train station in Trenton, New Jersey, just to come see him, way too much effort, game over. Like he would have freaked out. He's like, that is way too committal. That's way too serious.

Like your mom knows about me. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like it needed to seem like I was already out and about, so chill I wasn't even in the city just for him. But like if he invited me like sure I'll pop by I'm cool like that Meanwhile, like when you're on a budget, nothing is fucking chill. Okay. Nothing is fucking cool about this so I hope I'm painting enough of a picture of like the intricate and Delicate dance I was having to do with this fuckboy.

So I'm pacing in my childhood room. My mom's on my bed because she's like fully clued into the story and she's like, send the text, send the text. Like we got to know like, are we getting you to the train station or not? Like send the text. And I'm like looking at my Hannah Montana poster and my, my high school musical poster and my Jonas brother poster and I'm like I need to get the fuck out of here I gotta send the text so I shoot it off and I asked him what are your plans for tonight so chill I ended up throwing my fucking phone across the room I tell my mom like you're gonna need to fucking check it like and of course I had his little ringtone if he texted me.

I knew his exact ringtone and I'm waiting for the ringtone and my mom's like, it's gonna be fine. You're so gorgeous, sweetie. Moms are so annoying like that. Like, shut up, mom, okay? I'm one of many. I know my fucking place, bitch. She's like, okay, sweetie,

do you think you should be talking to this man? I'm like, yes, bitch. You're driving me if he fucking says come. She's like, okay, mental illness. So the dreaded hour goes by and he finally answers. And you know it's good when you text the fuck boy and you've been getting after it. It's like, ooh, one minute after another,

and then you ask him what his fucking plans are and it's ghost city. You're like, ooh, ooh, that's a direct attack. You're like, bitch, I just saw you were fucking typing and now you're not typing, what the fuck? So finally he answers and he says, I don't know yet. What are your plans? I wanted to smash my phone into my fucking forehead, okay?

Again, I had no fucking plans, but I'm going along with the lie. So I tried to play it cool. So I was like, oh, like me and my friends are probably just gonna like bop around to some bars, like, but let me know if you wanna meet up. And poor my mom is just like, why don't you just be direct? I'm like, mom, if you give me advice one more fucking time,

I'm gonna fuck boy, I'm gonna fucking lose my shit. She's like, okay, sweetie, okay, let's go make you some hot cocoa. Now here's the thing. I was actively refreshing New Jersey Transit Times and losing more and more hope. And when I say actively, my dad's like sitting there with me like working the system, like this is a family operation, okay? But this guy's communication at this point was so non-committal that I knew if I got on a train and just kind of went for it at that point, I would have been standing alone in New York City with

nowhere to stay dressed as Khaleesi. You know what I mean? Like none of my friends were in New York City at this point, so keep in mind, okay? So when it hit 9 p.m., I made the executive decision to shift gears and shift my plan for the night. I saw on his friends' social media that they were out and I saw only the back, like a little strand of his hair, the back of his head, a strand of his hair, but I knew it was him.

And it ignited something in me. I knew, I knew in that moment I needed to strategize. So I called my parents into the living room for family meeting and I said, if you guys have ever loved me, I need you both to buck up and pull this next move off with me, okay? Our family name is fucking on this shit, okay?

They're like, we have literally lost, we have lost our daughter, okay? But immediately they're in. My parents were like so used to my antics at this point and they're just like happy I'm fucking home and I'm including them in any of this. So I told them that, here we go. I told my parents that we had to transform our garage

into something that would pass for a sick Halloween warehouse party. Because I needed this man's attention and I needed to post on social media in my Khaleesi costume ASAP. But it needed to look somewhat adjacent to something you could see at a rustic New York City, grunge speakeasy, okay?

So we headed into the garage and we started to really clear the shit out and throw it on the driveway, right? My childhood bike kicked to the fucking curb, the box of Christmas decorations, get the fuck out of my way. My dad's lawnmower, gone. I was like, mom, what is this box?

She's like, those are your baby photos, how cute should we go throw it? I'm like, mom, burn it to the fucking ground, okay? We need to get this operation up and running. I was a woman on a mission. My poor parents, once we cleared out a corner of the garage, I had my mom work in the camera, my dad was standing behind her manning the lighting, okay? We needed it to look spur of the moment,

like even a little blurry could do, while also hitting the perfect angles, okay? So by the grace of God, my parents got the shot and I immediately went inside and did the only thing I knew I could do to make the shit even better, Photoshop the shit out of this photo on picmonkey.com. Tits bigger, ass bigger, lips bigger, waist smaller. I looked fucking amazing. Honestly, I looked A plus.

I was playing right into his fantasy. Now, I knew I couldn't just throw up any basic Halloween post, right? This man isn't gonna call me if he sees a little fucking bo peep on his feed. I needed this costume to awaken something in him and alter his brain chemistry. Was I doing too much?

Eh, yeah, to each his own, okay? I wanted, I wanted to put in the work. I'm a creative person, okay? So there I was. Like picture this, I'm not fucking kidding you guys, because once you get your family involved in shit, they wanna see it through, right? So I'm like on my fucking phone.

It's like the beginning days of Instagram. My dad's on my right shoulder, my mom's on my left, my mom's on the phone with my brother, my dad's on the phone with my sister. It's like the whole family operation. My brother's like, you're a fucking idiot. My sister's like, oh, gal, this is so fun, like fuck them. Like everyone has a say, I'm like, shh.

Post. My mom's like, oh my God, did we get the right lighting? Should we do another one? I'm like, mom, shut the fuck up. And like clockwork, less than 10 minutes later, I got a text, I got a text. And it said something along the lines of, holy shit, babe, your costume, you look fucking insane. Where are you? I need to see you. Jackpot. But something inside me shifted and I realized so much of that night and my relationship with that

person was based off of who had the power and a light bulb went off in that moment when I realized, holy shit, this new plan would be even more effective than if I went into the city. I had a chance to make this man jealous. Based off of this picture alone, okay, he was under the assumption that I was somewhere in New York City wearing the costume of his dreams, and he wasn't with me, right? So what did I do? I took the costume off, washed my face, did an everything shower,

cuddled up on the couch with my mom and pop, okay? Turned on Halloween town, said, I'll still away go motherfucker. And an hour after he sent that text, I replied to his text with a simple kissy emoji. What did that do? What did that effect do? What was his canon event? Okay.

It made this man spiral. Think about it. Daddy gang, if you're fucking with a fuck boy, he had just asked me where I was, AKA, I got what I wanted. He wanted to see me and I was ignoring his. He had just asked me where I was aka. I got what I wanted He wanted to see me and I was ignoring his request. He just asked me a question and I just hit him with a fucking emoji So, what do you think happened next? He texted me again, babe. Where are you? I want to see you in that outfit. I dozed off at around 1030 sharp. Okay, I was fucking exhausted. It was a big day of work, you know what I mean?

Curled up in my childhood bed, when I tell you daddy gang, I woke up to 22 text messages and about eight calls from this man when I woke up. It was the best fucking gift I had ever received hands down, okay? The texts are like, Alex, where are you? I need you. Like, it's all like sweet, like come to me baby. And then all of a sudden it are like, Alex, where are you? I need you.

Like, it's all like sweet, like come to me, baby. And then all of a sudden it's like, wow, so you're with another guy? Cool, I wanted to see you tonight. Guess not. Damn, like just the spiral, it's the fucking best. When you are in that position and you wake up to that shit, you're like,

I can breathe easy. Damn, it feels good to be on top. And when it felt like the appropriate time that morning, I picked up my phone feeling absolutely victorious and I said something along the lines of, why do I have like all these text messages memorized, you guys, it was ill, okay? But when you spend that much time on a text message

and you're going back and forth with your friends or your mom or your grandma, like you remember that shit, okay? But when you spend that much time on a text message and you're going back and forth with your friends or your mom or your grandma, like you remember that shit, okay? And I wrote, ha ha, whoa, chill, dot dot dot, how was your night? Now that may have taken me about an hour to concoct, but was perfect, okay? He texted me back immediately and he said,

come over, let's spend the day together and go to this party I got invited to tonight. I mean, men are so stupid and predictable. It's like annoying. But it really what it is also women, if you are in your toxic face still, like that advice to you is just like, you just have to like have your friend lock your phone away,

have them literally physically remove it from your body and hide it because it's gonna do you so much better than good. When you just ghost, when you're just like, oh, I'm gone, girl, it works magic. So what did I do? I, my dad drove me to New Jersey Transit. I got on that train, I rolled up to his place, purposely looking like a little disheveled.

He was insecure as ever, asking me like, why didn't you answer me last night? Like, were you with another guy? And I was so coy. I was like, stop, like, we're not even exclusive. Like, chill, like, calm down. Like, we're gonna have fun tonight. Just playing it so casual.

We went out together that night and later he floated the idea of us being exclusive. The war was over, ladies. I had fucking done it. I got more out of that Khaleesi costume that I could have ever dreamt of, and a canon event was secured for sure, because that, I fear, was the moment,

like one of the moments I really truly saw like the power of finessing a fuck boy in a way that like, you can't help but get a little off on it, right? Because when you've been done dirty by them and every girl has had that where you're sitting up and you're waiting for their text message and you're like kind of just completely on their terms, when you flip the switch and the roles are reversed,

you're like, this is intoxicating and this is, and then I went on to date him and it was like the most toxic relationship, but like it's a classic. Like, like exactly how you got him is how you're gonna lose him. It's a classic and it details all at a time. Anyways, those are my two like memorable Halloween.

I mean, I have a lot more Halloween stories, but that's enough for today. This year, I did not participate in Halloween at all. Matt and I actually, this is more wholesome. Now we're gonna transition to a more wholesome side of the episode. Um, Matt and I actually flew to Chicago this past weekend to spend it with Lauren, who you all know, she's one of my childhood best friends, she's been on the show. And it was Lauren's 30th birthday and she is going through an unexpected life change right now and is moving into a new apartment by herself, which is definitely overwhelming.

So, Matt and I knew we weren't gonna let her just like do this all alone, and we wanted to physically be there with her to support her in person. And so, Matt and I told her we were gonna come to Chicago, but we had also cooked up a little surprise of our own. We had told Lauren that we were gonna come in town and like hang out and go to dinners

and like celebrate her birthday, but little did she know we were planning to surprise her by furnishing her entire apartment. Our girl didn't have a single piece of furniture to her name in that place yet. And Matt and I were like, she needs this and we got her. And so we got to Chicago Friday night. We met up with Lauren and Kristen, my other childhood best friend, she also lives in Chicago. Imagine the FOMO I have that my two best friends live in the same city,

and I'm just like over here in Los Angeles. The amount of dinners where I've been like, but what if you guys just like moved? And they're like, no, I'm like, okay. But like, what if you just, and they're like, just come visit us more. I'm like, okay, fair. So we went to dinner that first night

and it was 10 out of 10 amazing. It was just like the three of us girls in with Matt. If you're ever in Chicago, also just highly recommend. We went to this restaurant called Bavette's. It's like every time I'm with Lauren and Kristen, we're always looking for like dark vibes, good energy, good music, sceny but not too sceny and just like a good hang.

And I remember as we were singing Happy Birthday to Lauren, she's blowing out her candles and Kristen is like, is that Will Ferrell? We're all like, what? And Matt's like, yeah, that's definitely Will Ferrell. I'm like, that's Will Ferrell. And we all realized that the entire night turns out Will Ferrell and his entire family were just dining

next to us all night. It was a glorious experience and it made her birthday even better. The other side of the night after dinner was, I forgot to mention, Matt's one stipulation of the weekend was that he was happy to have a girls weekend with us. But we had to watch the Dodgers because they were playing the Yankees in the World Series and Matt is a huge Dodger fan

Okay, so after dinner we all went to a bar and we watched the game and it was quite entertaining Honestly, like I've had enough baseball in my life for a lifetime But I was like, you know what? It's fun It's the fucking World Series and it ended ended up ending on like a grand slam walk off the night that we were watching. And Matt was so fucking amped up. I don't know if anyone has this, but like, it was such a fun game.

I get it. Matt, we get back to the hotel room, he's pacing. He's calling everyone he knew in LA, recapping the game. He calls his dad, he calls his brother, he calls his cousin. I'm like, Jesus Christ, Matt, sit down. He's like, I can't, this is the fucking best thing ever.

So that was fun that he got a little him time. But the big event, Saturday morning. Saturday morning was our big surprise. So we had Lauren and Kristen come over to our hotel for breakfast. And we sat Lauren down and we told her, sweetie, get ready, today is entirely for you. We hired a driver for the day.

We are going to go to every possible store and we are going to fully design and furnish your apartment this weekend on us. Get in and get ready. Um, and it was just like, she was in complete shock and it was so cute. I, it was just, I will say like, it is so surreal being able to do stuff like that for my friends. And I don't know, it was like a really fun and like emotional moment and we like hugged and cried and it was like a whole thing all fucking weekend. We were all just like crying and emotional

and it was beautiful. But okay, so first stop of Saturday, we go to her apartment, we see it beautiful. We whip out the measuring tape, classic. Okay, we made a list of every single possible thing she needed, we're taking pictures of the walls. I'll like post some of these pictures because it's funny because Matt's like directing traffic.

And we basically started to formulate our design plan, which is, it is so fun to design a new space. If you're moving into a new space, like we're gonna organize things. But it's also very daunting because I think, understandably, some stuff is not in stock and everything's coming in piece-mealed moments and it's just overwhelming if you don't have a vision.

We asked Lauren, what's your aesthetic? What do you want this new chapter of your life to be? And she's like, oh, I want it to be classic but have tinges of like moodiness and like kind of like weirdness and like, maybe like library-esque. We're like, okay, okay. Matt's like great challenge accepted, love.

So after we got all the dimensions and we're taking pages of notes, we were off to fuck up the furniture stores of Chicago. I will say my husband really comes alive in a furniture store and it is quite attractive because he is so, I wouldn't say aggressive, he's just, if we're like, is this cute? He's like, no, he's like, absolutely yes,

that goes with that. When I tell you, we were like three little ducklings following Matt's lead around all these stores He was a man on a mission also Maybe he was on a mission because like he didn't want to miss the fucking Dodger 7 p.m. Game that started that night He's like we're getting in and out we're cutting this shit at 6 o'clock and I need a cocktail But nonetheless we hit all the places we went to Crate and Barrel we went to West Elm CB2 pottery barn

rejuvenation vintage, and I kid you not, multiple stores asked like, oh, what interior design firm do you guys work with? Because we can get you guys like a discount code for that. And we're like, no, no, no, we don't, we're not, we're not. It's just like, we looked like a crew on a mission, you guys, like our measuring tapes, like at one point, I'm pretty sure Lauren had our measuring tapes like at one point

I'm pretty sure Lauren had the measuring tape like holstered on her belt buckle We had our dimensions printed out Matt is walking around like he's fucking amber interiors in this bitch Like he cannot be stopped. I will say people are like why? Reminder why is Matt so good at this? Um Matt produces movies, right? So like he's walking around and he treats everything in life, whether we're like throwing an event or he's doing something like this, like Matt is going to treat anything

like he is producing a movie. He knows budget, he knows color palette, he knows how it needs to visually look, he knows where people need to congregate, where people will stand, the lighting, the whole thing. So it was very fun to like see him do his thing and it was honestly so relaxing. A couple of times we're walking around with our coffees,

we got chai lattes, Matt's just like, you like this? Lauren's like, uh-huh. So we went nonstop, you guys, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. I am so excited for everything to get delivered so that Lauren can begin to create this new chapter of her life for herself. And Matt and I are so invested now. If anything, Matt more than me, he's literally like texting our group chat to Lauren being like, updates, photos, updates, updates, or he'll be like, it's delivery day. And I'm like, how do you know that she is the tracking

information? He's like, I know exactly when they said it's getting delivered. I'm waiting for the photos. We're very invested. Every time a new piece of furniture arrives, she will send us a picture and we'll be like, can you move the chair a little bit more onto the rug and go a little like two inches to the left? Like it is fun and we're all just like, I don't know. It's fun to be a part of it with her. And I think again, like scary daunting moments in your life

when you have the right people around you. I think it literally is just about like the vibe and who you're surrounding yourself with can immediately change the way that you view something that you're going through. So I'm just so happy because it felt so amazing to be there for my friend in a moment where she needed me because she has certainly been there for me

when roles have been reversed. I've only told this story on tour, so maybe I need to tell it on the podcast one day. I'll spare you like all the details, but I will never forget when I started over in a New York apartment back in New York City. I'd gone through a breakup and it was sudden and I was basically like on the street

and didn't have a place to stay and I found this place through Facebook Marketplace, whatever the fuck, and it was like a two month rental. And I remember it was like the dead of winter in New York and all that was in the room was like a mattress on the floor and Lauren came over and we went across the street and like got like a deli sandwich and chips and Sour Patch and we sat on the floor

and she held me while I cried and we slept on the mattress with no sheets that night and it was one of the darkest points in my life and the one thing that allowed me to keep going and not feel utterly alone was Lauren being there for me. So it was just so special that I was able to almost like do it, like give it back to her also because that's the weird shit about friendship.

You're like, oh, I didn't think that Lauren was gonna be moving into a new place and now she is and I'm here for her. I also will say it is so special that Lauren and Matt are close now. There is truly no better feeling than when your best friend and partner also have a friendship of their own. And I think it's no secret that when you get older, you don't have as much time for friendship

as you did when you were in high school or college, right? Like you're not running into each other at class, you don't live together anymore probably, you're not meeting up in the dining hall every day. Now you're adulting and you have a career and a life and taxes and a mortgage or rent and you're all over the place and like you may not even live in the same city.

But the point is, I think when you get older, you have to make so much more of a concerted effort to see your friends and stay connected with them. I think another point to adult friendship is you really start to learn who is gonna show up for you and be there for you in those hard moments. Like my friends and I were talking about it this past weekend, but like as you get older,

understandably the stakes get so much higher. I'm not really looking for a drinking buddy. I'm looking for someone who I can call and ask for their advice. So when your priorities in friendship shift, it kind of just naturally weeds some people out because it's like, do I respect your opinion? Are you someone who I want to go to for advice?

And I also think one of the most common things that is kind of this like unsaid dynamic in adult relationships is the rarity that you're ever fully on the same page. Like Lauren and I right now, we both just turned 30. Lauren is recently single and I'm married. And on paper, our lives couldn't look further from aligned. But on one hand, it doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter

because how I see it and how we see it is how we are aligned is our values and how we show up for each other and the way in which we give each other advice and how we treat each other. Like when I look at it, Lauren and I always laugh, but it's like Lauren and I have been on different pages through most of our friendship,

all the way dating back to literally being like almost six years old. Like I feel like if I'm thriving, she's usually down. And if I'm down, she's usually thriving. Like we're usually rarely ever on the same page, but that's friendship. You know what I mean? Like I feel like those moments though, in my opinion, when you are on different pages are when it is even more important, Daddy Gang, to pour effort and energy and time into

your friendship. It's easy when everything is aligned. But the mark, in my opinion, again, I know everyone has different fucking definitions, but the mark of a good friendship, to me, is showing up for each other when it isn't necessarily fun, when it's hard and it's exhausting and it's stressful

and things are tough. And when one of you is up and one of you is down and it's like, fuck, I wanted to have a good time tonight but she's fucking crying like, yeah. So then you sit the fuck down and you be there for someone. And like, I think having to go out of your way in moments to fit into each other's lives is so beautiful because it shows like you want to,

because there's reciprocity in the dynamic. Like Lauren meets me where I'm at and I meet her where she's at even if we're on complete different pages so oh my god, I didn't expect this to like go deep but um, I think friends can be truly just as important to your life as your romantic partner and I am so grateful for

the friendship that I have with Lauren and Kristen. And so to close out our little girls Chicago trip, on Sunday, Kristen had us all over to her apartment and she cooked us brunch. She made us all lattes and omelets and she had her record player on. And we were just recapping the Immaculate vibes

of the weekend and we were just starting to talk about like, okay, what's next for all of us? Like, what are you guys doing and what am I doing? And so currently Lauren and Kristen couldn't be more aligned and on the same page. They are both recently single and both just turned 30. And so it was really fun to see them planning single girl activities together,

because when you're single, let's be real, you socially have a lot more free time. And I wanna say to the daddy gang, anyone that is single right now that is listening and you're kind of struggling because maybe like, you have more friends that are in like relationships or kind of struggling because maybe like you have more friends that are in like relationships or they're engaged or maybe some of your friends are married or you're always fucking third wheeling like my bit of advice to you when I was talking to my

friends this weekend is like you need to seek out at least one other person who is single you have to you have to and it doesn't mean that Lauren and I and Kristen and I can't be friends. Like it's not that like I'm like, oh, loser now that I'm married or like they're fucking losers because now they're single. Like, no, no, no, it's just like they now are able to show up for each other in a different way than I can show up for them, right?

And I will just overall say one, yes, get single friends because you don't wanna do that shit alone and it's so much funner to have someone next to you and go through those escapades together. But two, now from my perspective, I will say this, as I continue to build a life with Matt, I feel so fortunate that my girlfriends are such a priority and important part of my life.

And something I realized is that when you find the right person and get your relationship to a healthy place, you are capable of being there for your friends even more. Like I have been in toxic relationships where my entire emotional bandwidth was being absolutely consumed by trying to manage and fix and deal

with the relationship that I was in, that it was like nearly impossible to turn to my friend and be like, what's going on with you? Like, yes, go ahead dump. Like tell me what's going on with you. And even if you do, you're like half listening because you're like, I am just trying to keep my fucking head above water.

We've all been there. That is so fucking common. And I will say, Daddy Gang, when you see those friends who are in those situations and you're like annoyed with them being like, they've been such a fucking bad friend lately, I know that sometimes our natural inclination is to be like, she's just been like such fucking shit.

Like she's not, I get it when they're MIA, but if you're really tuned into your friend, you should know it has nothing to fucking do with your relationship and your friendship. And it has everything to do with the fact that your friend isn't in a good place and their romantic situation and it is like eating them alive and it's affecting everyone around them.

It's difficult to see it when you're in it, but it's obvious. like one person is usually way more capable to show up for the other. And that's just the natural ebb and flow of a friendship. I'm also, please, like, don't get me fucking wrong. I can already see the DMs coming in. Like, I'm not talking about the people who are like, well, she hasn't shown up in seven years, Alex.

Like, that doesn't fit, like, no. Then it's time to boot the fucking bitch. That's not what I'm talking about. But everyone goes through their hard spells. The point is, I think female friendships are some of the most incredible relationships and I have been through so much with my friends. And even when my life feels good and Matt and I are good,

there is truly nothing like when I'm with them. And it was so cute, oh my God, it almost like made me emotional. It was so cute because Matt and I were on the plane ride back from Chicago and Matt like grabbed my thigh and turned to me and was like, I love seeing you this happy. And I was like, what?

And he was like, this weekend was so amazing. And the bond that you have with your friends is so incredible. Like you guys are so lucky to have each other. And I remember I just looked at him and I was like, they're my people. Like since six years old, they've been my people and will always be my people. And so the last thing I guess I will say is like, reminder daddy gang, especially when you become an adult, you don't need a giant friend group. You don't need all these different people in your life.

You need one, honestly. And I'm fortunate to have a few, but you don't need a big friend group to feel fulfilled. If anything, it allows you to invest more time into those few friends that you're really, really close with. Anyways, Daddy Gang, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode.

It's just a little girly chat for us, you know? Sometimes on a Wednesday, we gotta kick back and just talk and hang. So thank you so much for listening. I love you guys very much, and I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Goodbye.