Call Her Daddy - Protect the Boobies

Episode Date: May 19, 2024

This week Big Al and her BFF Laren get serious. Laren opens up about a serious medical diagnosis she recently received and why she believes knowledge is power. This episode serves as a reminder for women to listen to their bodies and check on them, even when everything seems fine.

Sunday morning, fight this callin', do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, every Sunday's fight this day. What the fuck? That was pretty good, right? Hello, Daddy Gang. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I am sitting here with my lovely, lovely, lovely best friend, Laren. Laren is in town. we were hanging out tonight um and i was kind of in like a shitty mood i guess you could say i you were a good sport about things yes i thank you i definitely am trying to just stay positive but i've been dealing with some health things lately that has just been very frustrating.

When I got back from my honeymoon, I started just having like this like intense pain in the area that I guess what you would think is like, it's your, I was like, it's my pelvis. And then I'm like, okay, that's my ovaries. I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist and I'm someone that has like always done like my yearly checkups but I'm also someone that like I haven't had the best experience with gynecologists I feel like I've had gynecologists that are quite um just like not loving about the way that they deliver information like I remember when I got bad news like a couple years ago and it was just like yeah so that's it and I'm like oh my god like this is terrifying like so what do I have to do and like

what procedure do I have to get and I got like a really just like scary procedure that I was like nervous like is this gonna affect how I'm gonna have children and so I feel like I've just had like I'm just scared now I think I have this like scared taste in my mouth that's not a taste but you know what I mean and And so anyways, I've just been really nervous, daddy gang of like, what is going on? Do I have an ovarian cyst? Like what is happening? And I think anytime any woman has anything when it relates to down under anyone that has a uterus, like it's just frustrating obviously, because we can't see it like a dick. Like we're like, what is inside there? What is going on? Um, and so I've been doing tests and

I just went for many different tests today and I had to get all this blood work and I was doing all these things and I was getting a ct scan and so I came home and Lauren was like you know I feel you on a whole different level because you have had your own medical journey that you have been going on for the past what like two a little over two years and so today not to make this like a depressing episode I promise it's not meant to be that but I do know how many women listen to the podcast Daddy Gang and Lauren and I I feel like sometimes it's nice to hear from like normal people not like have on a doctor specialist which I can do after Lauren drops all this information of what's been going on in her life but I just want um yeah I think you were like let's talk about it and let's

inform women of like what is going on and so yeah Laird take it away what's been going on with you i think we started talking about this because we were talking about like how important it is to get a good guy now because when i moved to chicago like three years ago but like maybe a year after it took me like a fucking year to like settle into like who do i want like my good doctors to be and stuff and that's makes a huge difference totally so i got a new guy now and i went for like a yearly and she was like have you ever gotten your hormones tested and i was like no and she was like i think that'd be like a good thing to do just to kind of like see baseline where you're at like I wanted to go on birth control because I wasn't on it at the time and she was like let's test your hormones like let's see where your levels are at so we can like make an informed decision of what that uh

what type of birth control is best for you and I'm like wow no one's ever offered to do that for like I love that I was about to say just like stopping you right there which is why I think this stuff is so scary and confusing is like I have never had a doctor ask me to do that like I have never and I've had so many weird hormonal issues in the past with like different birth controls I've never done a hormone test and I'm like wait should we all be doing that like what the fuck like I've never heard of that yeah you told me yeah she just included it in like my yearly and she was like, my yearly. And she was, like, asking my family history. And she was, like, do you have a family history of breast cancer? And I was, like, yeah, my mom had breast cancer.

My grandmother on my dad's side had breast cancer. My aunt on my dad's side had breast cancer. And she was, like, well, have you ever considered genetic testing? And I was, like, someone brought it up, like, in passing, like, years ago. But, like, does insurance cover that? Like, is it super expensive? Like what is that process even like? Um, Oh, what was the process even like, what did I do for that?

That's what to say. Yeah. What was the process? Really simple. It was either blood work or pee. Cause it was just, that was just a big blood work and pee visits. You're like peeing all these cups. We'll take all this blood and like test all these baseline things and how did

you test your hormones blood got it okay and so knowing like my grandmother and my mom and my aunt had breast cancer like i always knew there was a chance that like i could have a gene or something but like my mom got tested and my mom didn't have the BRCA gene which is a gene which is like the main genetic breast cancer gene that you can pass down and if you have the BRCA gene or the BRCA mutation you're have much higher risk of getting breast cancer and ovarian cancer and I already knew my mom didn't have that so I was like I think I'm fine but like I'll do this genetic testing anyways and so I do all the testing and I go back to the doctor's office probably like a few weeks later and it's like a 9 a.m doctor's appointment I schedule it before work because I'm like this is going to be in and out they're just going to read me like you're fine

your blood levels are fine and I'll go home log into work and like have like a full work day and I get to the doctor's office and like I can tell the doctor's being like a little like too nice she's being too nice she asked like if I want some water she asked if I want to like sit in like the relaxation chair that gives you like a little back massage and I'm like oh like I found a nice doctor's office this is like a class service oh my god little did I know she was like trying to calm me down i think before like dumping a load on me and i agree so much with you like the doctor and like the gyno that you have or doctors in general makes like a huge difference when you have someone who's like empathetic and not a robot when they're gonna

read you like heavy results um and she called me into her office and she was like, I know this is about to be a lot. I'm about to give you a lot of information. Like, are you in a place right now? Like where you can receive this information? And I was like, that made me smile more, but I was like, that is so considerate. Like, of course, instead of just like being like, Hey, so we looked at your test results and this is this. Yeah. I've had doctors do that. And you're like, we, I didn't even, I like was just like being like, hey, so we looked at your test results and this is this. Yeah. I've had doctors do that. You're like, wait, I didn't even, I like was just like texting my friend and I looked up and you just basically. Yeah.

Like, I feel like I just got like. Right. Like whiplash. Yeah, exactly. And she was like, okay, like let's start with the hormones. And she was like, you have elevated testosterone, which makes me think that maybe you have pcos and to get a pcos diagnosis they typically look for two out of three things one being elevated testosterone which i had a second criteria is having an irregular period in my whole life i've never had a regular period

been irregular my entire life so mark checked box two and she was like from that alone like I think you have PCOS um and then she starts like listing all these symptoms and like I didn't have any of those symptoms like the first one that like really scared me she was like it could cause not infertility issues where I'm gonna have issues with my eggs but difficulty getting pregnant and like that alone is just like a scary thing to hear terrifying and so like i'm already kind of like okay like whoa like that's kind of big news like i think that's everyone i thought that like everyone has is like now i think people have like kind of changed the way they talk about it like not when i get pregnant like if i can get pregnant wait is that the third one oh no the third one is um doing an ultrasound of your ovaries and seeing if you have cysts on

your ovaries and they did that and you're like yeah your ovaries are covered in cysts so i had all three and so that was like the first big piece of news that was like a lot just like started like my mind started going of like oh my gosh like what if I can't get pregnant and like spiraling like down that hole and then the second piece was like okay like let's go over your genetic testing and she was like you don't have the BRCA mutation which is the more serious breast cancer mutation and typically they do recommend for that one like you get a double mastectomy and so I had a newer mutation that when my mom got tested like 10 years ago, they weren't even looking for this one yet. So that's why I was like, I'm safe. I'm in the clear. Like my mom doesn't have it. Like I'm probably good. So they have this new one now

they check for it, which is called check two. And I had the check two mutation, which means when you have like a set of genes, you have two copies of every gene. So I'm missing one of these copies of this gene. That's a protective factor that helps me not to get breast cancer so it's not like I have cancer in my body I'm missing like one of my protective things that helps me not to get cancer so she hands me this like big packet of information and I open up the packet it's like a 30 page like booklet so I'm from the genetic testing company it's just like all of this like all the tests they ran all the results like it's like very heavy like scientific language and i opened the page and the big number

like front and center is 68 and i'm just like looking at this huge number on the first page and it's just like bold and black 68 and it's like you have a 68 chance in your life you will get breast cancer warren and like i would have like thinking about like how i would have responded because i was so nonchalant going into the process i even was like letting myself like toy with the idea but like not really but like a little bit like if i have the gene like huh like right like it's like it doesn't feel real no so you're like okay like not it's not actually gonna happen no and i've never had a panic attack in my life like i'm lucky i don't like really deal with anxiety a lot because i'm just associate

no but not anymore i'm having a lot of therapy yeah yeah no we're just yeah yeah i'm better but like when you like if something goes wrong you will revert it goes really wrong i don't panic i like freeze and like dissociate okay um you go back to what you know yeah exactly what i say i say with what feels right and true to my soul exactly so in that moment I that was the closest in my life like I've ever been to like a panic attack so like in that moment logic left my mind was like catastrophizing like I was thinking of like every worst possible thing I was like I'm I am gonna get cancer I'm gonna die I'm gonna have to get chemotherapy I'm gonna lose all my hair like your mind goes to stuff like that of course I'm gonna have to like not work for months like how am I gonna support myself like

my family I'm gonna be a burden to them like oh and the kicker I had just started dating my boyfriend two days ago we I forgot that part two days ago because I remember you called me when you got home from the doctor yeah and I you were like can you talk and like we have known each other a whole lot oh I remember exactly what you said what did I say because you were in an interview oh yes I remember exactly where I was and I I I was like late to the interview right no I texted your assistant and I was like hey I know Alex is going into an interview do not say anything now when she gets out of the interview like and she's like settled and everyone's out and everything's okay like can you tell her to call me I fucking remember this I remember Jordan was

like immediately after the person left the house the studio Jordan comes up to me and she was like hey Lauren need you to call her and her face just looked like so not well and I immediately knew something was off because I'm like Lauren needs me to and he she reached out to you like what is going on yeah and then I remember I walked to the backyard and I called you yeah and I was like definitely so at that point I had talked to my therapist okay because so I'm sitting in the office I'm processing that I have PCOS I don't fully know what that means yet I know that there's a chance I'm gonna have maybe difficulty getting pregnant I now know I also have this breast cancer gene and she's kind of throwing a lot of information at me but like doing a good

job of like I know you're probably not gonna retain any of this it's going in one ear out the other like let's set a meeting next week and like I'm gonna like retell you all of this um your your doctor my doctor yeah um and she was just like so amazing like I didn't feel like I was like being rushed out of there like she was like I will sit with you like let's like ask me anything you need because I feel like that's like a major problem that I've experienced with doctors and from what I understand a lot of people feel that way too, is like, I have so much respect for doctors, but they have to understand like we are literal idiots when it comes to what they're saying to us. We don't know.

Like when you're talking about the BRCA gene, I'm like, I am so like, I don't know what that, you know what I mean? Like you don't know what these things are until you have to know what they are. And so I feel like sometimes they deliver you information and then they just stare at you as if you're supposed to be able to comprehend anything that they're saying. And then when you ask like, wait, I don't really understand that. Like it's a lot of doctors have a really hard time breaking it down. So someone not only can understand it in that moment, but can retain it and leave feeling OK. Like I can't tell you the amount of times i've left a doctor's office and i don't know if anyone else can relate to

this daddy gang but like i feel almost dumb so sometimes i avoid asking questions and then i'll get in the car and have a fucking breakdown like when i had to get that one procedure i was freaking the fuck out when i got the news because i was like i don't understand it and i thought it was gonna affect my fertility there's nothing worse than like feeling like you're out of control in a situation that's also like you can't comprehend exactly and so I empathize with anyone like it's really terrifying and it's also like most of the time you're going this information and then it's so important especially as we're getting older more thinking of even having kids like it's terrifying so i i empathize with you and i'm so sorry that you had to like be

doing that alone okay so your therapist talks to you and then you call me so before I walk out of the doctor's office with like my folder in my packet and I am like numb that like I can't even like really like even call my uber yet like I just feel kind of like lost and like confused and like scared and i texted my therapist and i was like are you free right now and that's like the one good thing about like having an expensive ass therapist like you kind of have the ability to be like yeah you're like let's go come on and i've never ever ever texted her being like can you talk right now so i think she was like yeah like call me like someone just actually canceled like call me it's amazing I know and I didn't even call my uber I lapped around the block the city block I think I lapped around the city block for 45 minutes like on the phone like talking to her and my first thing I

said was I'm near panic attack but how do I handle the fact that I've been dating for someone for two days and like now I'm like panicking that I think I might get cancer one day like that's a really bad buzzkill two days into a relationship and like for more context like we moved kind of fast like we met and started talking and like dating within two months so like this wasn't like a long drawn out thing where like we've gone through stuff before we We've had like difficult times. Like this is the first hardship or the first like not fun thing that we've ever dealt with together. Two days into dating.

I know it's not even two months. Two days into dating this person. And you're like, oh, by the way. Well, my mind was like, oh, is he like is that like a liability? He's like not going to want to like sign up to be with someone who has like a chance of getting cancer oh my god lauren i know my therapist was like well if that's the case then like you don't want him yeah and so her i was like do i tell him or like do i like bear this on my own and she was like this is an adult relationship this is real life like you're getting tested early like this is a test like how does he handle it how does he

show up and support you? And like how does he respond? Such a good point. Couldn't have been more amazing. So I like lapped around 45 minutes like talking to my therapist kind of venting and like just like letting all of my thoughts kind of go, which felt like nice to I kind of say like all the things that I was thinking and feeling and like where my mind was going and like something that we were talking about. She was like, are you someone who feels like calmer if you like go home and Google or are you someone who's going to like then like spiral more? And at first I was like, no, like avoid. Like I want to avoid like I don't even want to think about this.

I want to go home. I want to shut this folder. I don't want to do anything like i don't want to think about this and i think that was causing me more anxiety actually because like this is now something i have to handle and something like i have to be proactive about and like do something right and again like you just said like if oddly though like if you do understand something better than you will be calmer but i know it's terrifying to open the can of worms of like okay I'm gonna open google because what's also fucked up about google is half the time if you put in your symptoms you have cancer yeah so you're like oh my god but you're like you know what like starting there oddly can help you feel like more calm because you can get a better grasp

on it yeah so I spent like the first like probably like 10 hours like trying to distract myself into a void and I was like okay like let me open like my laptop like and like we were talking about how it's like really hard when you don't understand anything and like luckily like I have like an under my undergrad degrees in like science and like I've taken like college level genetics so like I have like a basic understanding so like I really empathize with someone who's like I don't even know like what a gene is literally literally um so like that was like been like I felt like I had like a little bit of like a one up there I was like okay like I actually like kind of know what I'm reading um and I felt so much better once I like read and like started

to get information and so I called a genetic counselor And so like the company that did my genetic testing was like, we have a counselor that you can call that can help break it really down for you, explain to you what you should do and explain your options. Amazing. Well, I guess first I talked to my boyfriend. Oh, right. What did I say to you on the phone? Um, you were like, I remember.

Oh, I think you were just saying, I think you were just saying i think you were just saying like oh my god you were like matt matt go find the best geneticist in la go to call up all your friends at cedar sinai and go find the best geneticist in la i forgot about that i was like we will get you the best doctor so i'm like don't you worry you're like okay alex calm down like i need to first go research like what's going on i I was like, okay, but then call me. Yes. Yes. Um, okay. So you talked to your boyfriend and he was just like amazing and was just like, and you're still together to this day. We just moved in together last week. Congrats. Thank you. Love that for you. Thank you. So I talked to the genetic counselor and they were very comforting and they were like, okay, so, like, now you need to, like, be preventative about this.

Like, you can't just, like, sit on this information. Like, you have to be proactive. Like, this is amazing that you know this. Like, feel so fortunate that you know this. Like, most people, like, don't have this information. And they don't have the ability to, like, be preventative. Wow. So, now, every six months, I have to alternate between getting a mammogram and an ultrasound on my boobs.

Like that's one thing on like today I would get like a mammogram and an ultrasound. And then six months later I would get an MRI on my breasts. And then six months later and I would keep going back and forth every six months for the rest of my life. Which is like really like daunting to hear that like you have testing every six months for the rest of your life. And like I think even at that point, it didn't really set in because they were like, oh, like, but like it's so great that you have access now to get the MRI because if you get an MRI and an MRI catches something and you're up to date with your testing, like you're most likely catching it in stage zero. So I was like, OK, like that's amazing. Amazing. And then they were like, but you do have a decision like you could get a preventative mastectomy. And. I think my first thought with that was, well, I'm in a new relationship. I can't chop my boobs off. I think every woman can understand that. Like, it's not like you're being vain.

No. Yeah. It's hard to stop your life in these moments that are what ifs. Like, like you said, it was so daunting that you saw the number 68%, like that made it so real. But at the same time, like you don't have cancer yet. And so to think to chop your boobs off at 29 years old, like that's terrifying. And you are right. Like you're in this relationship. Like you want to get married one day. You want to have kids. Like it's, there's things to think about before just being like, yeah, rip them off. It's a, and it's a huge surgery. Like I know part of it's like, cool. Like I'll have like nice fake tits, but like, it's a huge like surgery. They like it's like cool like I'll have like nice fake tits but like it's a huge like

surgery they like have to like remove like all of like the ducts and all of the tissue and like you have the tubes that come out and like it's like a big recovery it's not just like the same as like getting like a boob job um so I think then that was kind of something that was like oh like that is a huge decision that like I need to make and I know that I want to do it because having gone now for the past two years or so, like doing this testing every six months, it just like sucks. Like the days leading up to it,

like, fuck, I have to go do this. And then like laying on the table and like having them check and then sitting in the waiting room, like waiting for them to like read the results. Like, okay,

like, do I have cancer? Like, are they about to come out and tell me I have cancer? And it's like, and they were like, I think most people burn out and then just stop testing oh wow if like they just have to keep going every six months for the rest of their life and playing that out over and over okay like do I have cancer like what's the results gonna be his mind fuck like that can't be

I mean that's like so unhealthy yeah hell so I think like that's the biggest reason I want to do is just like peace of mind and like knowing that I'm like putting myself like kind of like I feel like I'm like back in control of this yeah um oh and like another difficult part was like figuring out how to like tell my mom because my mom had like really bad breast cancer when I was a freshman year in high school she had was either like stage three or stage four breast cancer it was like really really serious and like full chemo full radiation double mastectomy and like it was scary for a while and I know that she still lives with that fear of like having gone through that and like wondering if like it's ever gonna come back and like am I like safe now and like then for me to like call her and tell her like oh now I have to deal with this like I knew that would be like really hard for her to handle and my therapist

gave me really good advice there that I think is like applicable for a lot of settings um well one I called her fiance first and I told her fiance and I was like can you help me find a time when like it's gonna be the right time for me to like drop this bomb on her and can you like be home when I drop this bomb on her because if I can't be the person that she processes it with because I'm processing it myself so if like she needs to hang up and have someone like I would like you to be there to help her process it and my therapist was like tell her like what you need from her so I like called her and I was like hey I'm gonna tell you something and I need you not to have a big reaction I need you to be calm because otherwise that's

gonna be really hard for me to bear if you need to process this like I need you to hang up and go do it with your fiance and like call me back and and it went how did it go like perfect like she was like oh yes like absolutely like like tell me what's going on and like and was like amazing and like it was like a bonding moment for us because she was like I completely know where your mind's going and what you're thinking and oh my god it just makes me emotional because I can imagine as a mother like you know your mom you can't help but be like oh my god like do I feel guilty like did I like and it's like no no that's it it was so beautiful that you guys had this like moment where your mom was like oh I actually I got you yeah I went through this and

I we're gonna get through this and you're gonna survive and you're gonna be fine but I also think just like for daddy gang I think you're right like taking that moving forward is such good advice even whatever you're going through to like half the time I feel like people have no idea how to handle a situation because the person coming to them especially if you're emotional most time people are like I have no idea what this person wants me to say yeah am I supposed to freak out am I supposed to validate you by being like hysteric yes like what do you want and that is a way like for you're a partner or a family member like to be able to tell people especially I feel like sometimes men yeah this is what I need from you yeah okay I think it helps people so that's that is such great advice and thank you for sharing that so you told your mom and when did how long did you think about like deciding for the vasectomy

and everything mastectomy sorry yeah i'm gonna cut. Sorry. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. You don't have a penis. Okay. How long did you wait? Like how long did it take? Like the two years you think for the vasectomy? So I haven't gotten one yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just mean like when you decided like, I can't do this anymore. I think like after like a year and a half of like doing three separate, like going to like get three separate tests. Cause at first first I was always like I don't know why my mind went to like Angelina Jolie like I remember like back in the day I was like wow like she like it was like a statement like I feel like it was like before it was like a thing like she did like a preventative like mastectomy to like and like my mind remember that too uh-huh wait that's so because I I you're kind of right

when I think of that I think of her me too so I was like, I think that's something like I want to do, but like I've never had a major surgery. So like that's just like daunting and scary. But after the third time, I was like, I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. And like I don't know exactly when I'm going to decide to like have this surgery, like probably within like the next like few years. But that's the route I'm gonna go I mean I thank you for sharing because I can only imagine how taxing it is on your mental health like you said sitting there like and how isolating like as much as someone can sit there and hold your hand like your boyfriend can be there I can be there like it's your body and I can't imagine how terrifying it is in those moments to be like please for the love of God to come back like I

don't have cancer um I think also something that you talked about that I think is important to highlight for anyone listening today is like I think that most people who may and maybe this is like you know I know this is like a privilege but I do know like obviously like even um Planned Parenthoods and stuff like women I think it's like a terrifying thing for some reason for us to like go and just get checked yeah and I think there's a lot there's a lot of reasons why some women wouldn't like whether you've been like whether it was like sexual abuse and you don't want to open yourself up to someone like going into your body whether like you're just not like you don't you didn't get the tools for education to like whether you've been like, whether it was like sexual abuse and you don't want to open yourself up to someone like going into your body, whether like, you're just not like, you don't, you didn't get the tools for education to like, no, you should do this. And like the amount of women that I've even seen sometimes being like, I've never been to the gyno. It's

like, it's terrifying. And anyone listening today, like I promise you it's more terrifying if you find something out because you avoided the gyno then like go like you said there's amazing doctors that will sit with you and hold your hand through the whole process but like don't avoid going because it's like anything in life the more you push it off the worse something could be getting and like you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself and like sure doctors can be annoying with the way and like a little insensitive in moments but but not all doctors like that. And even if they're insensitive with the way that they deliver information, you can take that information and go find a new doctor. But at least you have the information and you have autonomy over your own body and your decisions rather than like leaving it up to fate and being like, I don't want to look. I don't want to look like, please, Daddy Gang, if you you haven't like you should always be going to your yearlies you should always be going to a doctor and like checking and making sure you're good you should do breast exams on yourself like I think for a while like I remember I went through a period I don't know why even having like a mom who had like breast cancer and a

grandmother and an aunt I was like I don't I didn't even know how to do my own self breast exam me either I never did it until the past. Like I think honestly since this with you. Yeah. I never would fucking do a breast exam. I think I don't know it feels awkward and you're like I don't need to do that. Like wouldn't I feel something. And it's like what am I looking for. Right.

You'll know. But you should be doing that. So you kind of mentioned that the doctor was like this is so incredible that like you found this out early. And obviously I know you. You are like the most like Lauren McMullin, you are so fucking brilliant and smart. And I, anytime I'm like, oh my God, if there was anything medical, I would obviously go

to you. I'm like, tell me everything. Cause I know you're going to read everything on it. But like you said, that's not everyone's experience. Like, do you have any advice for anyone that maybe is terrified and to even start this process and like, is maybe avoiding it I think the way that like I like viewed it is like this is something that like I have no matter what and like just like really framing it is like the fact that like I know is so lucky and like a privilege

and like now I'm the one in control and like now I'm the one who has the ability to be preventative and like be on top of it and my gynecologist was telling me like and I totally get how like this would be some people's reactions that like some people like get this testing and they see that number whether it's the check two or the BRCA and like they're so paralyzed that they're just like I can't do anything about it and like I think just my advice to that would be like I know like it sucks and I'm so sorry but like and it sounds so fucking corny but just like knowledge is power yeah and like you have like the tools now to like save yourself yeah and save your life yeah and live i think that you're right

lauren it's like i yeah it's like opening that can of worms is so terrifying but like you said like now you have a better understanding and like when we first spoke of course you were like all over the place as any human would be like what do i do and what am i what's gonna happen and now even i mean i think that's also like a part of why we waited to even talk about this i knew this was something you were so passionate about we were like we need to tell the women that listen to the show like about get your mammograms do your breast exams if you have family history like do genetic testing even if you don't maybe like just go to the gyno like start the process and make sure that your yearly exams, get your paps.

Yeah. Because, and I appreciate you sharing the story cause I know it's very, um, personal, but unfortunately it's very common. And I feel like maybe not enough people that aren't like doctors talk about it enough, which I understand. Cause most people would be like, I don't, I can't speak about it in a way that would like help people and not freak them out. But I really appreciate you because I think by you waiting to come and talk about this for like what now two years I think it has allowed you to like I feel like I have more information yeah and like I have like more tools of like what to do and how to view it and how to handle it yeah and it's like your testament to like you just said you paced around the hospital for 45 minutes like just talking to your therapist saying a million different things

like worried like oh my god is the guy I'm dating gonna be like leaving me and now you're sitting here today like speaking to all these women being like no no I'm now making an informed decision about my body I don't know when I'm gonna do it but I do know I'm gonna do an informed decision about my body. I don't know when I'm going to do it, but I do know I'm going to do it because I've done my testing. I've been doing it every six months. Like you have a plan and that is all you can fucking do. So thank you for sharing this study game. We didn't mean to get depressing this week, but I do think it's like being a woman is a lot like having a uterus.

And I think that there's so much like even just you having PCOS, like it's a whole thing. Because like you what you tried to go on birth control. I tried to go on birth control and my body did not like that. I gained 20 pounds within four months. And. Oh, that was like that was like a beast in of its own because like I didn't even like realize like what was happening because it was like winter and like I was working from home so like I was kind of only wearing sweats and like I would maybe only put jeans on

like once a week on the weekends like go out to dinner and it was like slowly like my jeans are getting tighter and then it was like okay like maybe like i'm just like i feel like i'm always bloated and then it got to the point where like none of my clothes fit me and i was up two entire jean sizes and like i had to buy an entire new wardrobe and that was really hard to feel like my body wasn't my own body yeah um and since I've gotten off the pill and gotten an IUD and like that's been much better for me um but like that was an experience of itself of like just feeling like my body was just like out of balance and out of whack and not my own and like having like self-esteem issues and just like when you don't feel good about yourself like it affects

so many other things I was like I don't want to go do that I don't want to have sex I don't want to like go to a place where I have to wear real clothes and like I know everyone like I know the classic disclaimer is like I know like I probably still had like a normal body type for people but like it just was not mine yeah yeah and it wasn't what you were used to and also you're like I'm not doing anything that would make me yeah that was the thing like i didn't change like my workout routine at all i didn't change like my like eating regimen at all and i was just like what is happening to my body i think that like pcos is so common and it's so fucking terrifying like you said like when you're like i'm literally doing nothing but my body is changing before my eyes and I have absolutely no control over this.

And for you, like birth control didn't work, but the IUD is working. Like, again, it's, I have such empathy for all of us. Like, like I said, like we started this conversation because I remember when I called you from the like other thing that I was going through for that procedure. And then like with this stuff, it's like, you just sit and you feel like the only people that you can connect to in these moments are women and I love Matt so much and he's like he's like oh I'll cancel my like my meetings and he wants to come to the gyno with me and he's like I'll just sit in the lobby like I want to be there for you and they're so supportive and they're amazing but like no one understands this

like women and it's it's terrifying but I think speaking about these type of things is the way that can hopefully we get one woman off the couch today to be like you know what I'm hitting my gyno up I'm going to the gyno and I'm going to make my first appointment in so long um because the scariest thing is not knowing and it's scary for like a little bit to know if there's bad news but then like you said lauren then once you know you can fucking do something about it if you don't know who the fuck knows what you're gonna wake up with with the pcos and like the birth control like the moment like i had a reason i was like thank god because i was like what is happening right like answers

help your mental health process things when you're like spiraling you could be thinking it's 19 million different things so thank you for sharing lauren i can only imagine how many people are gonna write into me and i obviously you don't have social media so i will be screenshotting and sending all the dms everybody flood my dms and send lauren love for sharing her story but thank you for sharing because i know this is going to help so many women and it's like me even saying that it's like underrated probably what this is going to help so many women and it's like me even saying that it's like underrated probably what this is going to do so thank you i love you of course love you check your boobs check the boobs to save the boobies bye Outro Music