Call Her Daddy - Simone Biles: “I thought America hated me” (FBF)

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

Join Alex in Houston for an exclusive interview with gold medalist, Simone Biles. Simone is here to share her side of the story and what really happened at the infamous Tokyo Olympics when she withdre...w from the team competition and shocked the world. She opens up about the trauma that led to that decision, what nobody knew was happening behind the scenes, and how she thought her gymnastics career was over. Simone gets real about how the nation’s backlash affected her mentally and what it’s taken to get back into the gym. She also discusses her decision to come forward about the abuse she endured under the former USA Gymnastics physician and how she’s working to heal. Simone talks about her early years in foster care and how being adopted completely changed the trajectory of her life. Then, Alex asks the question we’re all dying to know… Is Simone going to Paris? Finally, Simone gushes about her marriage, responds to Jonathan Owens’ controversial viral interview, and talks about how she’s leaning into WAG life. Get ready to know Simone Biles like never before. Enjoy!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Thank you for coming. I'm going to go finish my show. Yes, go, go. Good seeing you. Oh my god. Gorgeous! Woo! Simone Biles, welcome to Call Her Daddy. I feel like we've been waiting for this for so long. Okay, we need to tell the daddy gang the story. So I would say like, I don't know, maybe like a couple years ago, I don't remember who DM'd who. No, I remember. You tagged me in a story that you were watching Call Her Daddy and I lost my mind because
Starting point is 00:01:17 I was like, wait, she listens? And then I started pressuring. I'm like, oh my God, I need to like do better. Like I need to impress Simone. But it was such a cool full circle moment that we started DMing. We had this DMing relationship here and there. And then when NBC and I started working together for the Olympics, I remember we sat down and they were like, okay, what person do you want to interview? And immediately I was like, Simone. And of course they're like, LOL, that's so cute. Of course, everyone wants to interview Simone. I'm like, no, I need to interview her. And they're like, LOL, like, that's so cute. Like, of course, everyone wants to interview Simone. I'm like, no, like, I need to interview her.
Starting point is 00:01:46 And they're like, do you know her? And I'm like, kind of. Yeah. We're pen pals like that. And now we're finally here. Thank god. It's perfect. Yes.
Starting point is 00:01:56 OK, so we were just at your parents' gym. Watching from previous documentaries that you've done to watching it all get built to you now, like having your own gym and how supportive your parents have been, like what does that support mean to you? For me, it means the world because being adopted since I was six years old to now, it's been a long road and journey like career wise and just like who Simone is instead of Simone Biles.
Starting point is 00:02:25 So it's been a long journey, but their support means the world to me. They've never really missed a competition, anything besides 2020 Olympics, 2021, whatever we want to call it. That's the only thing they missed because they weren't allowed to go because of COVID. But other than that, they've supported everything that I've ever wanted to do, all of that stuff since I was a young girl. When you say the word Simone Biles to the world, I think everyone immediately thinks Olympian the goat.
Starting point is 00:02:52 And I think there's like a lot of people that probably don't know where you came from and the backstory of like, your life hasn't always just been this picture perfect situation. When you were three, you went into foster care. Can you share just a little bit like what was going on at home that led to that? I was only three years old, so I learned that a little bit whenever I was older, but drug and alcohol abuse.
Starting point is 00:03:15 And so I just don't think that she was around too much and people would call CPS or see us out and about. So that's kind of what happened. That's when foster care came and got us and placed us into a foster home. And so the only thing that I remember was just being anxious when we would go to sleep because my brother was in the room next door.
Starting point is 00:03:36 And I think we were just always used to sleeping together or close or whatever because he's not that much older. And mind you, we were three. And so I just had anxiety problems. so we were in a girls' room. They had girls' rooms and boys' rooms. And from my knowledge that sometimes during the night or during the day they would take kids out and replace them into a different home and that's usually how siblings were separated so I was just so terrified that if I woke up my brother wouldn't be there. Even though I was with my sister, I was like, oh, we all have to stay together,
Starting point is 00:04:08 kind of that thing, even from a young age. So I'd always sneak in and go sleep with him because I'm like, oh, this is my brother, you know, because I didn't understand the separation whenever at nighttime. Fast forward a couple of years later, I was at gym and I knew I was adopted. From the moment we were adopted, my family told us, you guys are adopted. And I was at gym and I knew I was adopted. From the moment we were adopted, my family told us, you guys are adopted. And I was like, cool, okay. Right. Great. Like, I don't know what that means, but, and then they had asked us
Starting point is 00:04:32 if we wanted to call them mom and dad. And from my knowledge, I was like, perfect. Like, why wouldn't I? And so it was just super strange to me because I remember this day at gym, we were talking about our families and they had said something and I was like, oh, well I'm adopted and it felt like everything in the room
Starting point is 00:04:51 in the gym stopped and they were like, what you're adopted because that was not to their knowledge and I was like, why is everyone freaking out? And so I was like, well, you know, my parents, those are my grandparents. My uncles that I call my brother now, those were my uncles. And so I just remember we all sat on the floor. Practice stopped because everybody needed to know the story.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Like the coaches were intrigued, everybody. They were like, you're adopted? And I was just kind of like, well, yeah, aren't you? Where'd you come from? I'm just like so confused. Right. It was normal for you. When they say the story brings the babies, I'm like, how did you come from? I'm just like so confused. Right, it was normal for you. When they say the stork brings the babies, I'm like, how did you get here?
Starting point is 00:05:29 Stop. I'm like, you weren't picked? You weren't in a house and then you were… You were adopted? So like that was shocking to me. Did your parents ever talk to you about your biological parents? Kind of funny because no, because I just, I'm not sure the relationship, maybe because we didn't ask either,
Starting point is 00:05:50 but we knew who it was as we got older, Shannon, and that's kind of what we just addressed her as. But I knew once I got older that that's my dad's daughter. And then that's also crazy explaining to people because I'm like, my biological mom is also my dad's daughter. And then that's also crazy explaining to people because I'm like, my biological mom is also my dad's daughter and I call him dad. So it's just like, everybody's hella confused. It's a whole family tree that you're like,
Starting point is 00:06:12 don't make me explain it. My parents are my parents. I got chosen, feeling blessed. Let's move on. Literally. I'm like, if you think too hard, it just gets jumbled. So your grandparents adopted you at six. Now they're your parents. Yes. Boom. How do you think that hard, it just gets jumbled. So your grandparents adopted you at six, and now they're your parents.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Yes. Boom. How do you think that did change, though, like the trajectory of your life? Everything. I have no idea where I would be without being adopted. Unfortunately, I might end up the same statistic that other foster kids unfortunately end up. And you know, at 18 years old you get kicked out of a foster home, so then you have, you're homeless.
Starting point is 00:06:49 If you don't get into college and stuff, which most people don't graduate high school, you're on the streets. So like I fear for what my life would have looked like. Wow. I mean it's incredible to see what you have all built together as a family. I love how in the beginning you just quickly are like, and then when I'm at the gym, back up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:09 You are the greatest of all time. Yes. Let's talk about when you first got into gymnastics. Do you remember, did you just think of it as a hobby? Were you passionate about it? Like, how did you get into gymnastics? We got into gymnastics, I say we as me and my sister, from a daycare field trip. Again, I believe everything happens for a reason.
Starting point is 00:07:27 In this day, we're here in Texas, if nobody knows. We're here in Texas. We were supposed to go on a field trip to the oil ranch. Like, how country, how Texas is that? And then we wind up at the gym. And because it was storming that day, so they're like, that's an outside activity, where are we gonna take the kids?
Starting point is 00:07:43 And so I feel like God was like, take the kids to the gym and see what happens. And so we end up at the gym and I see these girls, and mind you, I've never seen gymnastics in my life. They're flipping around all of the things and me, six years old, I'm like, I could do that. Like not knowing, I just like feel like I could do that and I'm watching them. I'm super intrigued. Somebody does something, I do something, and then the coaches look over and they're like,
Starting point is 00:08:07 can you do that again? Like, what did you just do? Have you ever been to gymnastics? It's like, no, this is my first time. And I did it again, and they're looking at my body build, and if I show you pictures whenever I was younger, I was built, like I was ripped for no reason. That's just how I was built. And so they were like, you've never done a sport, your body statuary is like, it's ripped for no reason. That's just how I was built.
Starting point is 00:08:25 And so they were like, you've never done a sport. Your body statuary is like, it's made for gymnastics. And they're like, that's not normal. And so they sent a letter home and I gave it to my parents. My mom saw it and she was like, okay, do you want to do the one with the four events or do you want to do tumbling and then maybe you'll go to cheerleading? And I was like, I want to do the one with the four of them. And that's how I started.
Starting point is 00:08:47 It is truly fascinating that some people you hear that are so great, like Tom Brady for example, you think of Tom and they're like, oh, he was a little awkward and it's kind of crazy, but Tom can even run the way he can. For you, it's the complete opposite where you walked into the gym and people were like, who is that girl? And you had never done any of this before. Because I was going to ask you, was there ever once you started an aha moment that you were like, holy shit, I'm actually really good at this?
Starting point is 00:09:16 Never for me. Everybody else always saw it. And since I was always the smallest in my class, the shortest, I thought they would always be like, oh my God, she's so good, she's so cute, she has so much talent. I just thought it was like what your grandmother does when she comes around every year, like oh, you look so good.
Starting point is 00:09:33 I thought really that's what it was. And I'm like, you're just saying that because I'm so short. So it took a while for me to really lean into my talent and to realize, oh my gosh, I could do something or be someone because once I started, I could do something or be someone. Because once I started, I did it for fun. Nobody in my family has ever done gymnastics, so they have no idea where the talent came from.
Starting point is 00:09:53 My siblings were really good at track, but that's kind of it. Were you in school? Did people make comments about how short you were? Like, were that, you were, see, it seems like you were. Sure, yes, because, like, you could always grow. So they were like, we're just waiting for her growth spurt, which I'm still waiting.
Starting point is 00:10:07 I tell God, finish it when I'm done with gymnastics. So maybe we're not done yet. The doctor probably thinks my growth plates are closed, but that's a different story. I love it. You're like, it's gonna happen. But other than that, they all saw it. They would say, they gave me this nickname,
Starting point is 00:10:22 soldier, because my muscles and all of this stuff. And so one time I beat this kid up on the playground because he said, Soldier, because my muscles and all of this stuff. And so like, one time I beat this kid up on the playground because he said, oh, I bet you can't beat me up. And I was always the kid that if he said I couldn't do something, I'm doing it. And I think I'm still that way. Like, I'm doing it. I was going to say, I feel like getting into this sport, any sport at the competitive level
Starting point is 00:10:40 that you're dealing with, you have to have such discipline and drive. And I'm wondering, like, where did that come from, this competitiveness in you? I don't know. But if I had to pinpoint, like, my parents were very hard workers. Me and my sister were pretty much always on top of our schoolwork. And we were just kind of self-driven. And I don't know where it came from, but I think it started from my parents just saying how hard they work, everything that they've done for us, for our siblings.
Starting point is 00:11:10 It's kind of something that was a little bit taught in that nature too. Yeah. When you do compete at this level, I know that for athletes, it's not just you committing your life. Your entire family has to get on board. It's a lifestyle change. When do you think you guys really all decided like, oh, as a family we're going for this? Probably the whole family started making sacrifices when my practices started going late and then
Starting point is 00:11:39 dinnertime started to change or they would have to leave stuff in the oven or on the stove and they were like, okay, she's really doing this. But none of us knew how far it was going to take us to end up where we are. We just kind of thought like, oh, she's doing these flips. She likes it. She enjoys it. As long as she's having a good time, we're going to let her continue because my parents were always the first to say, if you want to quit, let us know.
Starting point is 00:12:02 We'll pull you out. Because you went to public school till eighth grade, right? Correct. And then you officially did homeschooling starting high school. Did you get to have any typical teenage experiences? Did you go to prom? None.
Starting point is 00:12:15 The first time I danced with a boy was on Dancing with the Stars with Sasha. And it was after the Olympics. I was like 19 years old. I remember he got in my face, grabbed me, and I was like, ah! Like, freaking out. Simone.
Starting point is 00:12:28 No. No. Talk about like a culture shock. What? I was about to say the fact, the fact, I need to hear if there's anyone in the world that could say that statement. The first time I ever danced with the boy
Starting point is 00:12:39 was on Dancing with the Stars, icon. Literally. Yeah. Icon. Like it's giving like only you. Are you kidding? Okay, so you never got, did you have sleepovers? Some, but then at that time we had moved
Starting point is 00:12:51 like 40 minutes away. So if we ever wanted to have a sleepover, it was more like your mom drops us off, your dad brings her because like the distance. So other than that, we'd have some best friends come sleepover, but then it was kind of like, okay, if you stay over on Friday, you're not leaving until Sunday. So we had sleepovers, but then again it started turning into, sorry, I have practice on Saturday,
Starting point is 00:13:11 so then go to the gym, we'll drop you off, that sort of thing. It's like your life revolved around it. Everything revolved around gymnastics. And if people don't play sports, like I look back, I'm like, okay, can I relate to that? I'm like, yeah, growing up, most of my friends were just soccer friends because you're just kind of becoming a family and they're like your sisters. I think in middle school, that's when the insecurities started and I kind of became a shell of myself, but I feel like nobody really understood why I was racing to my locker
Starting point is 00:13:40 to get my gym equipment. And then at the time, our housekeeper would take me to practice and all of this stuff. So nothing I did at that point was relatable, and it was very hard to not make friends but to just keep them up because I couldn't hang out with them on the weekends. I couldn't go to Friday Night Live. I couldn't do anything. On the weekends, I was going to a gymnastics meet. I was doing this, that, the other.
Starting point is 00:14:03 So to me, it was like, let me get my schoolwork done. I have like three friends, like at the loser table, and I'll do my stuff at the gym. And yeah, it was really hard to relate because they're doing who knows what and like… They're like texting boys on AIM and you're like in the gym. I don't know what that is. The only boy I know is gym. No, literally. And did you resent it at all?
Starting point is 00:14:27 Did you ever be like, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this to myself? At that point, no, because I still love to do it and I had all my friends at the gym and that's kind of all I needed at that point. But going into high school, I was mad at my parents. Mad as hell like, you figure it out why I can't do school and gym. Like you figure it out. Like some of my friends could do it
Starting point is 00:14:49 because their states allowed that. And that's at the time I started doing national team camps and we missed so much school. So I didn't have a choice, but like California, as long as you did your schoolwork, and I can't speak on the rules of the laws now, but it's just how it was back then. They could miss however, as long as they got their schoolwork. And I can't speak on the rules of the laws now, but it's just how it was back then. They could miss, however, as long as they got
Starting point is 00:15:07 their schoolwork done out of it. But Texas law states you can only miss X amount before they fail you, even if you do your schoolwork. So that just wasn't an option for us. And it's not like we were ever gonna move or do anything, because Texas has kind of the best gymnastics. And that's what it was, but I wanted to go to the football games.
Starting point is 00:15:27 I wanted to go to the school dances. I wanted to. But it was okay that I didn't because I knew I wasn't confident enough in my body to show my muscles because at that time I wore a lot of hoodies and I didn't want my muscles to show because then at that point I'm stronger than all the boys because they haven't bulked up yet and I'm just like, hey. Nobody really understood so it was okay. Right, I get what you're saying. It's almost like it was okay for you to escape to the gym because you felt more confident there.
Starting point is 00:15:55 And everybody had muscles and we all looked the same. I do remember one of my friends snuck me into high school one day and I got to go around with her to each class and I thought that was the best day ever. I was like, I'm in a high school one day and I got to go around with her to each class and I thought that was the best day Ever I was like I'm in a high school and her teachers just played along with it They were like if the principal catches us who knows what we'll do But I did a whole entire day with her and that was so cool Well, it's incredible to look back and as much as you sacrificed the sacrifices clearly paid off because when you were 16 is when your winning streak just
Starting point is 00:16:25 really began. You won three consecutive world championships and then you went on to dominate, dominate the Rio Olympics. When you look back at that time of your life, like, what does that success mean to you? Well, to me, I thought that's kind of where it ended. Well, to me, I thought that's kind of where it ended. And I was like, oh my gosh, how have I reached my greatest achievement in life at 19? I was scared for the rest of my life. Like how can I beat this? How can I top this? What the heck am I going to do?
Starting point is 00:16:56 I won the Olympics at 19. Like it's going to be a shithole from here on out. So we're going downhill? Yeah. No, literally, because most people don't get to go to more than one Olympics or do those things. So at one point I was like, I did it. This is my greatest.
Starting point is 00:17:14 This is the greatest thing that I wanted to achieve in my life. And then I was like, I did it at 19. You almost were excited for two seconds to then be like, can I even actually enjoy this? Because does this mean it's over? Yes. And so I was scared, but at that time you couldn't really tell me anything because I was like, oh my gosh, I did it.
Starting point is 00:17:35 And I knew as soon as that happens, we've watched previous Olympics, so we know how their lives change after that. So I knew it was going to be different, but I knew it was going to be different every day at the Olympics. My followers go up 10,000, and then I had a million. Then I was like, what the heck is happening and why are people following me? I was like, at that point I was like, yes, this is my greatest achievement because I've been vying for this since I was six years old, per se.
Starting point is 00:18:01 But then I was like, but y'all haven't watched the come up, so why do you care? Like this is my greatest achievement, cool. So it was kind of weird to me that people were following me because I had won the Olympics because to me that was the biggest thing. But I was like, how's that the biggest thing for you to follow me because I won this? It was kind of weird. And then I was like, okay, I really need to find out who I am without gymnastics because I didn't think I was gonna do it again. When the rise really started, I think about the pressure that people put on you.
Starting point is 00:18:30 It's like, oh my God, you're so great. We all are looking at you. You're Simone Biles. You just did the Olympics. You're thriving. You're getting gold. Did you ever feel like you weren't allowed to have moments of weakness? A lot of the time because on a lot of the teams,
Starting point is 00:18:47 like a lot of the girls looked up to me. So I felt like I was that strong person that everybody was like, oh my God, Simone's so strong. She has a strong personality. If you had something to describe me as, strong went before that word. So I felt like I could never show a sign of weakness, but I just always felt like I was the strong one
Starting point is 00:19:07 for my friends, the strong ones for my family, the strong ones. So it was just kind of like, I got to a point where it was so hard for me to cry or show emotion, but I also think that came from gymnastics. It's like, throw all that out the window, work on what you need to work on, and then outside at the gym, whatever happens, happens.
Starting point is 00:19:26 So yeah, it was weird, different, difficult. But at that point, again, I'm only 19 years old. Well, that's what I was going to say though, Simone. When you're saying I had to be strong, I'm technically the older one at the gym, I've now gone to the Olympics, I know what I'm doing, you're strong for your family. Who did you go to to say, hey, I'm stressed. I have all these followers. I have the world.
Starting point is 00:19:52 A lot of the time, if it wasn't my sister, because we're very, very, very close, if it wasn't her, silent cries, I didn't like to see anybody... I didn't want anybody to ever see me cry. Why? Because I didn't want anybody to ever see me cry. Why? Because I didn't want them to show or see that I was a sign of weakness. So it was a lot of silent nights where I would cry because even after the Olympics I went home
Starting point is 00:20:14 and like we went on tour and stuff but there would be a lot of times where I felt so alone. Because like how many kids can relate? 19 years old you won the Olympics and then you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I'm still learning. It's just like, now I'm a celebrity. I don't know what I wanna do with my life.
Starting point is 00:20:33 I don't know if I can do this again. Everybody's cheering me on. It's just like, it was an overnight sensation, so to speak, even though like people that watch gymnastics watched for the four years prior, watched my whole entire career, but to just be be thrown out there, I was kind of confused. But then somebody told me it was lonely at the top, and so I would relay that message in my head.
Starting point is 00:20:54 And it was positive sometimes, like, yeah, it's lonely at the top. And then other times it was like, it felt hard and heavy. Right, you're like, I don't know if I want to be at the top if it's this lonely, like if it's this isolating. Yes, because I'm only 19. So we wanted our lives to be as normal as possible. And so I think that's why I'm so grounded with my family and all, because we never wanted it to take over because we've seen how that can happen.
Starting point is 00:21:20 But again, I was just a kid. I was homeschooled. I didn't have much. It's like… Well, as I'm listening to you talk about this too, it's like there's so much pressure that is put on young athletes. Then when you are the star athlete at a young age, there's more pressure to grow up and become an adult soon because everything's riding on you, it feels like.
Starting point is 00:21:42 And you're under a microscope. Yeah. And then you have the press looking at you and fans, and you're like, now I need to become media trained. And now I need to learn how to know how to just handle myself again at 19 years old. And something that I'm realizing you're saying, talking about how you had to bear a lot of this on your own, with all of your success, then there was behind the scenes so much fucking going on. And in 2018, you spoke out about the abuse that you endured from the USA Gymnastics physician. I'm so curious, Simone, can you talk about your decision to open up about that? The main reason I did that is because a lot of people follow me, a lot of people go on
Starting point is 00:22:29 my platforms. And I've always been an open and honest book from the very beginning and I've always decided I'm not gonna let anything ever change me because this is who I am so take it or leave it. But I've always been an open book. Like, I was talking to my friend the other day and she was like, I met you in three minutes. We went from talking about this to like deep stuff. And it's just like a lot of people when they meet me,
Starting point is 00:22:51 they can feel that. But it's, after that I decided to speak out because I know it could help a lot of people. So if I could shine a light on whatever that is, then I'm gonna do that. But I wanted to be in a good enough place and to have the proper help lined up before I spoke out because that stuff was so traumatizing
Starting point is 00:23:13 and I truly don't understand how I did what I did under those circumstances and how I put on a face. But you know, at some point as an athlete, you are an athlete so you understand. It's like we normalize a lot of stuff, but then we push off emotions. It's like we do so much. It's this like you can create this like false narrative in your head of what you should endure and what's normal. And that's all you know.
Starting point is 00:23:42 That's all we knew. So we thought it was normal because we're all homeschooled there together. It's like… Right. You're all going through the same thing. Yeah. So if we're talking to each other and if this is happening to you, this is happening to you, okay.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Cool. It's normalized. What we're talking about also is like there's so many different forms of abuse, but like the abuse of power is… It's such a tricky situation and we see it so often. We're having a conversation about one, someone that you were told to trust, but also by an organization that was supposed to protect you and foster your career. And so there's so much, yes, abuse mentally, physically, emotionally, but I'm curious because I think sometimes
Starting point is 00:24:25 when people look at you, it's like Simone Biles, the face of mental health, and she's the best of best, but it's like on the real day to day, this shit is fucking awful to go through and people weren't with you on the day to day. Once you decided to speak out about this, how did processing this trauma show up in your day toto-day life? Well, at that point, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I kind of knew I was depressed, but I hit it so well because I train 34 hours a week, so what do I always do whenever I'm at home?
Starting point is 00:25:05 I'm in my room laying down, resting, resting, resting. But I knew this resting was very different. It was hard to get out of bed. It was hard to do anything. It felt like everything felt heavy in the end of the world. And again, a lot of sleepless, crying nights. Why me? Because I, it's just like, and then you kind of play victim
Starting point is 00:25:26 and then it seems like again, nobody can relate to you, nobody's listening, nobody is, I trusted this person, this, that, the other. So it just felt very, I wouldn't even say dehumanizing, but it felt like I held a lot of the guilt that wasn't mine to hold. The fucking worst. Yes, and I think that was the hardest for me to process. And I learned through therapy, like, yes, this is not my guilt to hold.
Starting point is 00:25:53 But to convince myself that, because it's easier said than done. Totally. But to convince myself that it was really, really hard. And I think I'm still working on that in therapy. Like, it's gotten a lot better and I feel comfortable and now I can have conversations and stuff like that. But yeah, I have good days, I have bad days, but I also know that that doesn't define me.
Starting point is 00:26:14 It does not define you at all. It's an experience you went through. I do think it's unfortunate how so few people understand. So like this is something that is a part of you for the rest of your life. It doesn't define you. But when people are like, okay, like it's never over. Yes, and that's, I think as an athlete,
Starting point is 00:26:36 that was the hardest thing for me to process too, because you know, if you get injured, you go to the doctor and they're like, okay, three to six months, or three weeks, or whatever. And this is like years, and I'm like, why do I not feel better? Like, if a doctor could sit down and tell me,
Starting point is 00:26:53 I'd be great, because I thought like, oh, three to six months, three to six weeks. It's like, we're always on timeline with injuries, so whenever it's a mental injury, or a physical injury that you're going through, like that, with depression and anxiety And nobody can give you a timeline It feels like it's never ending and I was like I just don't understand
Starting point is 00:27:13 I should be fine by now and doesn't that bring up sometimes like there's shame that comes. Yeah, you're like why the fuck Yes, because it's like I'm not gonna want to be in 10 years talking about this and somebody's gonna be like, God, here she goes again. But it's like. But I do think you talking about it, Simone, and that's why I think it's really important how you said, this does not define you. But it's also important to show people when people are like, that's so sad that happened to someone
Starting point is 00:27:39 and then they move on with their lives. This is something that stays with people forever. And so to neglect the conversation of like acting like it didn't happen, it did. And you are who you are, but it's a piece of you and it's a part of you. I also think that's such an interesting comparison of like, if you mess up your ankle, it's visible, you can feel it, you can't ignore it. With trauma emotionally, you can shut that shit down and you can bury it so far. And that's the thing we're so good at as athletes,
Starting point is 00:28:10 at doing that too. And my therapist is like, just take it out of the box. Roll it out on the floor. Like it's fine because we're so good at like depressing everything so it's like depressing everything. So it's like, God. So for so long it's worked until it didn't anymore. And that's what you saw at the Olympics, a big old spill.
Starting point is 00:28:34 And I was like, to me, I couldn't understand why that happened either because I'm like, gymnastics, like what the heck is going on? Why is this happening? And then my therapist is like, well, we know why it happened. And I still have conversations with her to this day, and I'm like, hey, look, it's Olympic year. Did we figure out why that happened? And she's like, Simone, we figured out why this has happened.
Starting point is 00:28:58 I was like, are we sure? Are we sure? Really? Because she can can happen again? Yes, but it's like, it wasn't just a mental injury that happened called the twisties. It's like compressing all of this shit for so many years, it just unfolded. Right. Like you can't compress trauma that much longer. And I hate to be the person that blames it on something else
Starting point is 00:29:26 because I'd rather blame it on like, I have a hang now, sorry, can't vault. Like, or whatever it is. You're like, I wish I could say like, money. Yes, and at that point after I came out about it, they're like, she doesn't wanna lose. And I was like, first of all, I almost broke my leg, but thankfully I didn't break my leg.
Starting point is 00:29:44 And I called my agent and I was like, first of all, I almost broke my leg, but thankfully I didn't break my leg. And I called my agent and I was like, this is a mental injury that they can't see. Do they want me to wear a helmet? I'm like, because they couldn't see it, so they couldn't relate to it, they couldn't grasp it. It's not something that I could tell them so that they could feel. Like, if I broke my ankle, they'd be like,
Starting point is 00:30:01 should I broke my ankle before too? Like, I know how that feels. Of course you can't vault. But for a mental injury, nobody could understand it. So there were so many narratives thrown around, so many different excuses that were pushed onto me. And I think the shittiest part of all at the Olympics, I have very good senses and I knew something was gonna go wrong. I couldn't pinpoint what it was or when it was gonna happen, but I just had this feeling deep down, this is not gonna go the way I want it to and I don't know why, but I have this deep, deep feeling like something's gonna happen.
Starting point is 00:30:39 To people that, I mean, aren't familiar, yes, you went to the Tokyo Olympics and I'm curious, People that aren't familiar, yes, you went to the Tokyo Olympics and I'm curious, so you're saying you kind of knew, when do you think you knew? Where were you mentally going into the Tokyo Olympics? I don't know, but I could feel something and I felt myself, besides all the pressure, because we deal with that as elite athletes. We have different tactics about how we're going to carry ourselves and how we're gonna do whatever so that we can still compete to the best of our ability.
Starting point is 00:31:12 But there was something that I could feel that was gonna be out of my control. And I didn't know when it was gonna happen or what was gonna happen. But I was like, I felt strange, but I'm not gonna tell anybody on the team that I'm a veteran. It's everyone's first time at the Olympics.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Like, they're looking up to me, and I'm guiding them, taking them through the route. But you know, nothing about that Olympics was normal anyways. We're having a pandemic. The whole world is shut down. Like, nothing about the Olympic Games was normal. And I feel for those athletes that might not ever be able to go to another Olympic Games was normal and I feel for those athletes that might not
Starting point is 00:31:45 ever be able to go to another Olympic Games because that is not what the Olympics is about. In 2016, it was so much fun. The camaraderie, the team spirit, everybody's rooting for everybody. I feel like that's world peace. Time stops. Doesn't matter what color you are, what religion you are, what you support, what you don't support. Everybody comes together to support their athletes and their country.
Starting point is 00:32:07 So it was just very strange, but I could feel something like the wires weren't connected, like the red, the yellow, off. Something was off. And in training up to Tokyo, did you feel that too? A little bit, but we had been training so hard and we were prepared. We were so prepared. I've never been so prepared for an event in my life.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Obviously besides 2016, but this felt like a different kind of prepared and it felt a little bit more calm. Isn't that so crazy as I'm listening to you? You're like, I'm on the plane ride to Tokyo. And I knew, like I knew something. And you didn't know when, but like that's again, like the body just telling you like something ain't right. Simone, we're not good.
Starting point is 00:32:56 And you're like, push it down. We are fine. And to me, I was like, it's fine. Take your medicine. And some of the days we're asking my doctor, I'm gonna take two of my pills. I never take two of my pills, but I was like, something's coming up. It feels like I don't know what it is, but like, I cannot control this. It is out of my control.
Starting point is 00:33:16 So we're gonna control what we can control. Let's take your medicine. Maybe try 20 milligrams. Maybe try this. And it was just like, it was the weirdest experience. And whenever I look back at it, it doesn't seem real life. Which maybe is a good thing. Right, you're like, it's kind of like.
Starting point is 00:33:36 It's a good thing till everybody reminds me. As I'm sitting here being like, so let's talk about the team final in Tokyo. Yeah. I'm curious, we know what happened. You get lost in the air during your vault and everyone was shocked, but I'm curious, take me to the moment, literally,
Starting point is 00:33:51 when you land on the mat, what is going through your mind? Okay, I'll start from the back of the runway when we're standing there. Let's go back to the runway. So in the back, like, we already knew my gymnastics was kind of janky. Like, in training, I was having twisties already.
Starting point is 00:34:30 But I'm trying to push past that. And I would literally tell my teammates, like, I'm fighting demons. I'm fighting demons right now, but I'm going to do it for you guys. Because, like, it was the cords were not connected. So I literally felt like I was fighting my body and my mind to do these tricks.
Starting point is 00:34:49 So we're trying to do some different things in the back and I'm like, okay, I can't do a full enough beam. Can I please go back to my double double, which is way harder. But I know if I twist more, it's better for me. So then we go to vault. Vault is feeling a little bit weird in the air and you can see it.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Like the girls, we ended on floor because we started to vault. Vault is feeling a little bit weird in the air and you can see it. Like the girls, we ended on floor because we started on vault out there. So we end on floor, I go to do my first pass and you can see in the air, like you can ask the girls, it's not like my first pass is a triple double. And usually when you do it, you see my regular videos. You see one, you see two, you see three. This one, it looks like I'm going like this in the air,
Starting point is 00:35:25 and it doesn't feel comfortable. I have no idea where I am, but I'm twisting, like praying, land on my feet, and they're like, that looks jacked up. You can tell. All of the gymnasts in there, from all the countries, are like, that's jacked up. That looks jacked up.
Starting point is 00:35:39 It looks like she's never done this day in her life, but they know it's a twisty. So people were kind of trying not to watch. We'd get out there and ball it, and I was like, okay, it her life, but they know it's a twisty. So people were kinda trying not to watch. We get out there on vault and I was like, okay, it's fine, I warmed up everything. It wasn't good, but I did it. And so we get out there on vault and we have a one touch warmup.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Go over the table, do a one and a half. And I'm like, what the fuck? Like, what was that? And so I'm like, it's fine. And everybody's freaking out. I don't have another touch, so I have to go stand there until it's my turn everybody's freaking out. I don't have another touch, so I have to go stand there until it's my turn to salute and go. I don't have another touch.
Starting point is 00:36:09 So the girls are like- And can you explain this to people that have no idea what gymnastics, like they're like, what do you mean? Yes, gymnastics, once we go out there, we usually have a one-touch vault, and it is what it is, it's to warm up, you're usually sitting in the back for 40, 45 minutes,
Starting point is 00:36:22 come out, you get one turn to take to warm up your vault to perfection, and then you sit there and wait till it's your turn to salute and, hey, I'm at the Olympics, you know? That's your debut. Before, you know? And so we go out there, and I do the one and a half, and my teammates are shook.
Starting point is 00:36:39 They're like, are you okay, are you okay? And I'm trying to convince myself I'm okay, so I don't need you asking me if I'm okay. Because I'm okay. convince myself I'm okay, so I don't need you asking me if I'm okay. Because I'm okay. Listen, I'm okay. We're great. Like, everything is not okay. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:36:50 I'm fucked. Literally. And so they're like, you're fine. And I was like, I don't know why I did that. I don't know why. And I knew once I got up there, I'm chalking up. We can't put Jordan in yet. I have to go.
Starting point is 00:37:04 I have to put up a score. No matter what it is over to go, I have to put up a score. No matter what it is over the table, I have to put up a score. So I'm chalking up and you can see if you watch the video, I'm like, because I have no idea what I'm gonna do when I hit that table. And so in my head, I'm standing there and I'm like, I'll just do the double pike,
Starting point is 00:37:22 which I haven't warmed up in like four days. And I'm like, if I do a double pike, over rotate it, it's fine. And then I was like, they put up a score for a two and a half, so I have to do a two and a half. And I'm thinking, if I do a double back, that's so dangerous. My coach will kill me. My team will never forgive. And I saluted and I was like, praying to God, because I knew I was going to do a vault,
Starting point is 00:37:44 but I didn't know what I was going to do. And I knew I was going to try to do a two and a vault, but I didn't know what I was gonna do. And I knew I was gonna try to do a two and a half, but I didn't know how many twists I was gonna make. And I just, pshh, because I couldn't twist anymore. It's just like your body, your brain opens up, have no idea where you are. So I open, landed like that, and as soon as I land, I kinda grin and I'm like, shit, and I salute.
Starting point is 00:38:01 And I want to run, if I could've gotten a plane and flown home, I want to run. If I could have gotten a plane and flown home, I would have done it. But I just, as soon as I landed, I was like, oh, America hates me. The world is gonna hate me. And I can only see what they're saying on Twitter right now. That was my first thought.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Simone. I was like, holy shit, what are they gonna say about me? Because usually if you go to the Olympics and you flop or whatever it is, right now. That was my first thought. Simone. I was like, holy shit. What are they going to say about me? Because usually if you go to the Olympics and you flop or whatever it is, everybody on their couch eating those little chips. Right. It's like you let the country down. Oh, I thought I was going to be banned from America because that's what they tell you.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Don't come back. If it's not gold, gold or bust, don't come back. And I was like, I don't. Thanks. Can we just pause also? Like you landing and the first thing that you're thinking should have been, thank God I'm alive. Because you can severely hurt yourself in those moments. And you understandably,
Starting point is 00:38:57 because this is such an athlete thing, it's like praise everyone, get everything for everyone and just like sacrifice my body at all costs and you land on the mat and you're thinking, what is Twitter saying? Yeah. I was like, no, I'm going to be one of those videos, flops out the Olympics. This is horrible. And I knew I couldn't recover and I knew how long the twisties takes to get over and I
Starting point is 00:39:20 know it's not overnight. Can you explain also to people that aren't familiar, what is the twisties? Okay, I had to explain it in gymnastics terms, it might not make sense, but it's basically like, your mind and your body is at a disconnect. Your body is gonna try to do something and your mind is gonna be like, no, you're not doing this work,
Starting point is 00:39:37 you're gonna open out, you're gonna do this. But it's the same as if like, the best way I could describe it is, every day you drive a car. If one day you woke up and you had no idea how to drive a car, your legs are going crazy, you have no control over your body, that's kinda how it feels like.
Starting point is 00:39:50 You've been doing something for so long and you now no longer have control. And it's terrifying because we're in a car without any protection. I am my car. Like, so I would explain it as like the yips in golf or baseball or whatever it is. I'm not familiar with other sports, so if I'm wrong, correct me. But that's kind of how it feels like.
Starting point is 00:40:15 So immediately when you get off the mat, what do you do? I go to tell my coach, and I said, I'm done. I'm not doing anymore. Because if I survive that, I don't know how much else I can survive. I always say I'm a cat with nine lives, but I think that was my ninth, I'm done. And she's like, are you sure? And I was like, yes, Jordan, gear up. You're in.
Starting point is 00:40:34 You're doing the rest of the meet, I'm not. I can't do it. And are you internally freaking out, but you're coming off just like- Internally, but I didn't want to freak out in front of the girls. So I kept as composed as I could have, and I was like, you guys got this. And then they just went, we went to the back just to get evaluated mentally and physically. But we also didn't want to, I didn't want to scare the girls, so I was like, can we please go?
Starting point is 00:40:58 And there's cameras, all the cameras rush over, and I was just like, because I know it happened, but I also don't know what happened and why it happened. So we just went in the back, the girls are gearing up for bars, I come back out and I was like, you guys got this, you'll be fine, trust me. And they were like, no we can't do this without you, we're not gonna win anymore, da da da.
Starting point is 00:41:16 They're freaking out because they also know what Twitter's gonna say if US doesn't win. And I was like, don't worry about it, you guys are here because you're the best in the world and you will be like, go out there and do your job. But I think it was really hard on them because mentally they lost their best player, the veteran. I think it was really hard on them.
Starting point is 00:41:35 So that's something that I'll never forgive myself for, for that whole entire experience because I wish I could have been in there with them in a way that I was supposed to, physically, putting up team scores, putting them. But after that, I became their loudest and best cheerleader. But I just wish it would have been contributing the way that it was supposed to happen. I think that's so hard. When you're an athlete, you understand that moment where you're like, you logically know there was nothing else you could have done.
Starting point is 00:42:04 Nothing. But your brain is illogical when you're in those moments with your moment where you're like, you logically know there was nothing else you could have done. Nothing. But your brain is illogical when you're in those moments with your teammates where you're like, I will literally die for this team right now. That's what I was doing. That's what I was putting myself through in the back. And that's why I don't know how I made it that far through warmups, through competing. I don't know how I landed on my feet. And I think that's what people don't realize
Starting point is 00:42:26 is that's not the vault that I was supposed to compete. I had a whole nother full twist that I was supposed to compete. So they're like, she didn't wanna lose. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not like, my pride is not that big. Like, you know what I'm saying? So at that point, it's like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:42:43 I need to take care of myself, and I need to do what's right for my team. And yeah, I need to let my pride not get in the way and push through this just to compete, to compete at the Olympics again. I need to go sit down, take a rest, see what's wrong mentally, and let's figure it out, but let's still give my team a chance of medal contention. Because again, what people also don't realize is if I got hurt on that vault, they couldn't replace me. So if I got hurt, since I'm on every event,
Starting point is 00:43:11 it's two up, two count. We would have never won a medal. But since what happened happened, we went to the back. At that point, they could rule it as a mental injury and all of that stuff and physical. We got to put Jordan in. People don't know that. What happened in the back?
Starting point is 00:43:27 Did you just try to, like, what happened? Doctors came over. I had to talk to my family because they were watching the Olympics and they see me get whistled back, so they thought I was hurt. And I'm like, yeah, I'm hurt. My heart is broken. Everything hurts, but my knees are fine. I'm like, my brain hurts, like everything hurts, but my knees are fine. I'm like, my brain hurts, like everything.
Starting point is 00:43:45 So I called my family and it's so funny because my sister was sleeping. No. Like bitch, I'm at the Olympics, why are you sleeping? But there's a time change, so I get it, but everybody's up in the house, cheering for me, Simone gear on, and my sister's like, I think I'll take a nap.
Starting point is 00:44:03 I think I'll sit this one out. Simone's got it. Should they wake her up? No. She heard the phone ring because I called the home phone. And she said she was sleeping and she felt something was wrong. She ran to the kitchen and said, I'll answer it and saw my name on it. Oh, that's freaky.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Freaky. And she answered and she said, hello. And as soon as I heard her voice, I just, I lost it. You're crying. I was like, I'm out. I'm done. Like, and she was like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:33 Can you hear? And the phone, mom, like. You're like, mom. Yeah. I'm like, come pick me up. I'm scared. Literally, mom, come pick me up. I'm scared.
Starting point is 00:44:44 I'm in Tokyo and you're back in the United States. What did your mom say? She was like, are you okay? Because that was her main concern. She thought I got hurt. And at that point, like, yeah, I wish my toe was sticking on the side of my foot or my knees were cracked or something because that would have been easier to explain. It's also just like as an athlete you're so right.
Starting point is 00:45:06 It's like the feeling of trying, we're supposed to be the toughest. We're like, you're invincible. What do you mean? We can't see the injury so you're fine. Yeah, I'm like, yeah sorry I came here and my brain just decided to have a malfunction and break. Yeah, how do you describe that to people? How do you tweet that one to the world?
Starting point is 00:45:23 That's what I'm saying. But then whenever I really talked about it and there were actually a lot of people that understood and we got a lot of positive feedback and that's why I was like, you know what, you're not going to put me at the forefront of mental health, but again, if I can be a voice, let's go through this journey together because I know unfortunately a lot of us are struggling but let's walk this journey together and let's go through this journey together because I know unfortunately a lot of us are struggling, but let's walk this journey together and let's go get healthy.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Absolutely. What are your parents like on that call? Your mom's checking if you're okay. What is your dad like in those moments? My dad is always so calm and collected, it seems. So he was probably like, oh, is she okay? But probably not even that concerned. He was probably like, is, is she okay? But probably not even that concerned. He was probably like, is she okay?
Starting point is 00:46:06 Okay, okay. Like I think that's just what he was doing. My mom was like a mess. I could hear her crying and breaking down and that's what broke me too. It's because also I have so many people who have helped me get to where I was. Yep.
Starting point is 00:46:22 And I felt like I didn't just let down myself. I let down that team that was there. I let down America. I let down my trainers. I let down, there were so many people that helped me get there and that's why every time I get to compete for Team USA or I'm on top of that podium, I'm so grateful and that medal's not just for me, it's for everybody that has helped me get there. So it's like at that has helped me get there. So it's like, at that point, it was really heavy.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Cause I was like, I couldn't even, at that point, I couldn't even look at Laurent. Like, Cecile helped me so much, but I couldn't look at Laurent. Why? I felt like I failed him. And I've never said that out loud, so it's like, and they've helped me get to that point,
Starting point is 00:47:02 cause I never thought I was gonna do gymnastics again. And so I felt like I let down Laurent. Now having met him, I get it. Like he has such an incredibly high standard for you in the best way and he's so like fierce and loyal. Yeah, he thinks, he doesn't let, he tries not to let anything get to him. And I knew that got to him. You ended up participating in the individual beam competition and won a bronze medal.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Flex. How did you know you were okay to compete? I changed my routine because I didn't have to twist. Flipping wasn't necessarily the problem. It was flipping and twisting. And so one of the gyms there let me go train there, and I have videos from that too. And so they let me change my dismount,
Starting point is 00:47:51 and I've done a full in for like eight or seven years, or eight years. I hadn't done a double pike in that long. So going back and trying to control that, and I kept over rotating it was insane. I was so scared because my dismounts are just typically harder. And so I was like, okay, I can still do beam if we change my dismount. And we were able to change it.
Starting point is 00:48:15 And at that point I didn't think I was going to medal. I was like, I just want to go out there and compete because this is what I came here to do. But how do you even like mentally get yourself together to like after that moment with fault? It was like four days later, thank God. Thank God. You could just like chill. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Because I pulled out of every final, but every time I pulled out of a final I felt like it was another knife, like… So I got to do Beam and I was really excited and then of course a lot of people hated that. Well, of course she's going to do it for herself. And I was like, you don't see a lot of people hated that well of course She's gonna do it for herself, and I was like you don't see me twisting do you still not twisting but um Yeah once the score came up I was like oh, thank God like made a beam routine and then We saw that I was gonna medal when I hit Cecile and I said
Starting point is 00:49:01 What what I'm gonna, a bronze? And after Rio, I got a bronze on Beam, and I was shunned. And people were like, throw that medal away, you should've got a gold, because I did mess up. But there's no telling what the medal would've been, but I did mess up, so I ended up with a bronze. And so I was scarred from having a bronze medal, because I never really talked about my bronze, because people made me scarred from having a bronze medal because I never really talked
Starting point is 00:49:25 about my bronze because people made me so ashamed of it in Rio. And so whenever I got that bronze, you couldn't tell me that it was bronze. It felt like a gold to me. Right. You're like, I'm just happy I got a medal. Yes. I'm happy I got back out there. I'm competed.
Starting point is 00:49:39 For people to be like, don't come home with that bronze. It's like, sorry, do you know how to do a cartwheel? That's what I'm saying. Sorry, who are you to say don't come home with a bronze? It's like, sorry, do you know how to do a cartwheel? That's what I'm saying. Sorry, who are you to say don't come home with a bronze? It's crazy. I'll walk my ass back into America and happily raise it around. I'll take a bronze. Yeah, so it's just like from one spectrum to the other from having a real bronze to a Tokyo bronze, it's like polar opposites. Like I'm swinging that thing around, people are like, you know that's a bronze?
Starting point is 00:50:07 I'm like, ehhh! We got it! Let's go! Yeah, but you couldn't tell me. Right, that it was a bronze. Because you got it. Yeah. Like, God bless.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Okay, take me to the plane ride. I'm picturing you, you're like getting through these Olympics at this point, you get bronze, you're like time to go back home. That's a long ass plane ride. Yeah, I was mentally, physically exhausted, drained. I have nothing left and I can't put on a face anymore. I physically could not wait to land in Houston and they made us go to New York to do like the today show.
Starting point is 00:50:47 And so I got my hair and makeup done, whatever, still putting on a great face because I'm like all I want to do is hold my mom and cry. I want my mom. Like, I just want my mom. And like just for today, so sweetie, smile. Yeah. And so as soon as we landed in Houston, again, there was at the gate so many cameras so I still had to put on a face.
Starting point is 00:51:07 I couldn't break down. But I hugged my mom and I just felt comforted. But I couldn't break down until we got home. And guess what? When I got home, they threw a parade. And they were like, get ready, Simone. We have a parade through the neighborhood. Get your convertible.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Smile and wave. I just wanted to have a breakdown, and I didn't want to have it. This mental breakdown, it was waiting. No, it is sitting in your chest. You're like, when can I sob? When can I sit in my bed for 48 hours and not leave and just sob?
Starting point is 00:51:38 Yeah. And you had to do a parade. Yeah, a parade. At that point, you're like, will the tears even come at this point, I've been holding it back? I just wanted to do a parade. Yeah, a parade. At that point you're like, will the tears even come at this point? I've been holding him in. I just wanted to cry and be like, this was the shittiest thing ever. I don't know why it happened. I just wanted to soak in my feelings and to be by myself.
Starting point is 00:51:57 I didn't want anybody to tell me that it was okay anymore because I'm tired of everybody telling me it's okay. It's okay to you. It's not okay to me. What happened was not okay. So that was that. So when did you break down? Probably when I had to unpack that suitcase. And then I went on tour and I was hosting my own tour across America, Gold Over America, which was absolutely amazing. The fans, the kids, beautiful. We put together an amazing production. But even before some of those shows I had therapy,
Starting point is 00:52:28 say my, I can't recall what time our show started, but say it started at seven. I would be on therapy from like 4.30 to six. And then I would give myself an hour to get ready. And some days Jordan would come in my room because I had my own room. I'd be bawling my eyes out trying to put on my makeup because I'm talking to my therapist
Starting point is 00:52:52 about the Olympic experience. Put on my face, whoa, hi, Gold River America, love to see you. Like crazy. It's like. Yeah. It was fun and I will cherish every stop and every show that we got to put on. Totally.
Starting point is 00:53:08 But it was just like behind the scenes, just nobody knew. Well, no, and that's what I appreciate you sharing that because it doesn't take away from you an amazing experience with those people, but it's like, again, shows the level of strength you have of like, you know, Simone Biles, the public person and what she needs to do to show up. But like, were you, and I don't want you to share what you're comfortable because therapy is sacred, but like in those sessions, are you going beat by beat
Starting point is 00:53:34 or are you just talking about the overall feeling and experience? For me, since again, it was a new therapist. Oh God. Is that good or bad timing? It was a new therapist and every time I'm with the new therapist, it feels a new therapist. Oh, God. Was that good or bad timing? I'm like... It was a new therapist, and every time I'm with a new therapist, it feels a little bit uncomfortable. So I like to start by saying, like, hey, I'm like an onion, let's peel the layers. Like I'm an open book anywhere else, but with trauma, it has to be by layers because, listen,
Starting point is 00:53:59 I still have to put on face, I still have to go do these shows, I don't, you know. So it was kind of layers by layers, but like the compartmentalizing that we do as an athlete and just as a human, I know a lot of us do it was insane and I don't know how I got through it, but honestly I think the tour helped me get out there and realize there's more to life than gymnastics. And I honestly thought since I didn't compete
Starting point is 00:54:29 at the Olympics in the way that I was supposed to, and that we didn't win gold, I thought nobody was gonna show up to my tour stops. And night after night, it kind of filled my cup up because all of these girls and the fans came out. And I remember after a show, sometimes we get to see our family, but since COVID, it wasn't too much family. But my family and some of the producers were at a show and we were in the back, we were
Starting point is 00:54:56 eating dinner after the show. And I broke down crying and I was like, I cannot believe people are still showing up. Why are they showing up? We didn't win. And that's when I realized like, holy crap. It's not about that. Yeah. But I always thought it was because that was ingrained in my head and that's what everybody
Starting point is 00:55:15 told me. That's heavy. Yeah, it was crazy. I've learned so much about myself in such different Olympic experiences that now having another Olympic year and a cycle, like it's traumatizing in a way to walk into. But I feel like at this point nothing can break me. It's like I've just been through so much, so much trauma, so much healing. I'm actually excited to see what happens after this.
Starting point is 00:55:42 I was going to say like in a strange way because I was thinking about, I'm actually excited to see what happens after this. I was gonna say like in a strange way, because I was thinking about… I'm actually like… I feel like I can visualize oddly like that scene of you opening that suitcase and just like sitting there with it in front of you and the emotions and everything you're feeling from what you just tried to run away from kind of is sitting there going now to this new phase. It's a little traumatizing, you're right, to be like, am I gonna do that again? Like I gotta do-
Starting point is 00:56:15 Like I'm gonna put myself through this. Right. Yeah. When you were home, when was the first time you tried the vaults again? Did you go immediately into the gym? What was the situation? That's what I wanted to do, but since we had tour, there was no way for me to really get into a gym and train like that, but I was so traumatized.
Starting point is 00:56:33 So after tour, I kind of put it under the rug. That's for another time. I would go into the gym and train, like play around. I wouldn't say train. I would go into the gym, go see the girls, and I would just go jump on the trampoline and do back flips, back tugs, like people call it back flips, that's why I'm saying back flips. But I would go do back tugs,
Starting point is 00:56:53 and even that felt kind of weird, because I'm like, well, but I hadn't done that in a year, because I took off a year or more, and every time I went to the gym, I was kind of traumatizing, and so every time I'd to the gym I was kind of traumatizing. And so every time I'd flip I just like flashbacks Tokyo. Oh, I'm gonna get lost. I'm gonna get lost.
Starting point is 00:57:10 And Laurent would always come over and he's like, okay, go into the pit. Let's do a full. And I'm like, I'm here to see the girls. I just wanted to jump on the tramp. You're like, I'm just like here to jump on the trampoline. Yeah. Calm down. He would make me twist and go back to the basics., I just wanted to jump on the tramp. You're like, I'm just here to jump on the trampoline. Calm down. He would make me twist and go back to the basics and I wasn't even training, I literally would just come visit.
Starting point is 00:57:31 And he didn't want me to have that feeling because, and before that I would watch Masks on TV and the girls would be twisting and I'd be like cringing, I'd be like, oh my god, oh my god, I'm gonna throw up. I can't. Because I can't picture myself doing it because I took so much off. What was the lowest point of the entire Tokyo aftermath and experience?
Starting point is 00:57:56 I would say it wasn't even in Tokyo, unfortunately. I think it's whenever I decided to come back and train in getting over those demons, because there were so many days I would come back and train in getting over those demons. Because there were so many days I would come back in the gym and it was like one step forward, five steps back. One step forward, five steps back. Because as soon as I got lost, one time, get lost, pack my bags, I'm out of there. Why am I putting myself through this?
Starting point is 00:58:20 Hell no. So I would literally like, I left so many times. It was frustrating for both me and Laurent because he didn't fully understand the twisties. And for a lot of the time as gymnasts, we know what happens but it's very unspoken of. And whenever it happens, you pretend it doesn't happen. Why? Why is that? It's not a good feeling. It's dangerous.
Starting point is 00:58:43 It's like horrible. It's not a good feeling. It's dangerous. It's just like horrible. It's scary. But you don't want to speak up because then you're like, I don't want to be out. Yeah. And then the other girls will look at you and they feel like once you get lost, it's going to happen to them. Got it.
Starting point is 00:58:56 So it feels contagious. Interesting. So whenever they were looking at me and doing it, it's just like, it's so weird. And so we, yeah, we had to go back to the basics and honestly, like the whole year, whenever Laurent, last year, he told me I was competing, I was like, how can I compete? I'm not over the twisties yet.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Because every time I went to bars or beam or floor, I was praying that I did the amount of twist I was supposed to. Like I was so traumatized for this experience that I'm just now feeling better. Even walking into the gym, some days I feel like I'm gonna get lost because I know why it happened. I'm like, that's the reason. I'm just now feeling comfortable without... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:44 It's crazy because I went through world championships, everybody's like, she's back. And if we would have had one more day of world championships, I think just mentally from convincing myself that I can do it so many times, and you're fine, twisting, twisting, I think I would have just broke down and been like, I just can't, mentally I couldn't do it anymore.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Not physically, I think physically I would have been able to do it, but if there were one can't like, mentally I couldn't do it anymore. Not physically, I think physically I would have been able to do it. But if there were one more day of world, I wouldn't have done it. Because it's, I think what people I hope understand is like there's this mental taxing aspect of like when you fail at something, you can't unsee it.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Exactly. And you can't unfeel it. So you're trying to remove yourself and you're trying to push it as far away as possible. But your brain has experienced it once. so you need to be so mentally strong to lock that so far in the corner, but it's hard. So when did you approach your coaches and say, I want to come back? It was kind of funny because the conversation didn't go how I thought it was going to go. And so I think I requested a meeting or whatever with Cecile and Laurent and we ended up at
Starting point is 01:00:49 their house and brought my husband, you know, my little blankie. And I was like, okay, I wanna go back to the Olympics. I wanna do this. And they're sitting across the table and they look at me and they're like, no. And I was like, ah! I just saw that I want to go to the Olympics. I want to go back to the Olympics. Let's do this.
Starting point is 01:01:10 Wait, like scream for me? Yes. And they were like, no. And I was like, what's happening? I'm like, what is going on? And they were like, no, you've set expectations for yourself for so long. Let's just go back in the gym, get in shape,
Starting point is 01:01:33 and see what happens. And I was like, so we're not going to the Olympics? We're not training for the Olympics? I feel like, we ain't going to Paris? Yeah. Like, what do you mean? And so that was really weird to me, because I thought they were going to be on board. Like, yes, we have the process laid, that was really weird to me because I thought they were gonna be on board.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Like, yes, we have the process laid out, da da da da. Let's go. And they just said no, and I was like, do I get new coaches? Do I, like, what's going on? And I was like, oh, you're right. And he was like, let's not just think about the Olympics right now.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Let's think about maybe getting your skills back, twisting comfortably again, doing this. And I was like, oh, those things? Oh, okay, fine. Yeah. But then can we go to the Olympics? Yes. And that's kind of how we started it.
Starting point is 01:02:17 And then I didn't think I was competing at Classics last year. And he was like, yeah, you're competing, here's your Leos, here's this, here's that. I was like, yeah, you're competing. Here's your Leos. Here's this. Here's that. I was like, what? No, we weren't going to the Olympics. So I can officially ask and you can confirm like the goal is to go to Paris.
Starting point is 01:02:36 If all goes well, I'm training. Yeah. The goal is to go to Paris. So if you're going to Paris, how are you approaching the Games differently compared to previous years? I think just working on my mind and my body more than I have, or continuing to work on my body and my mind just like I have the past year and a half and it's worked. And so to just stay on top of that, it's exhausting, but I have to do it. It's working.
Starting point is 01:03:06 I didn't think therapy was gonna work and it's working. Therapy is the most incredible thing that I have always said to people. You do though need to get into it when you're ready. It's like so many people can tell you to go and if your body and brain is not ready to go, it's not even gonna penetrate. You're gonna be like, I don't feel shit.
Starting point is 01:03:23 This person- Yeah, and you're not gonna open up, you're not gonna talk, you're not gonna be vulnerable, you're not even going to penetrate. You're going to be like, I don't feel shit. Yeah, and you're not going to open up. You're not going to talk. You're not going to be vulnerable. You're not going to let those demons out. So it worked out for the better. I think I saw an interview of you where you were like, which I kind of loved, you were like, people ask you your goals for the Olympics and you're like, I'm not sharing my goals because I'm so sick of people then shoving them in my face if I don't hit it. And I think that's good for you to set boundaries with press. Can I ask though, a personal, not having to do with gymnastics, a personal goal mentally for you that you're going to carry through?
Starting point is 01:03:56 I would say to keep up with my therapy even on those hard days because I have dodged a couple of those. Oh yeah. You're like, sorry, I'm like a little busy. That's so relatable. You're like, yeah, make it. And she knows I have my days off so I do it the same day every time. And she's like, Simone, Simone, are you there?
Starting point is 01:04:13 And I was like, no. Sorry, I'm not here. That's the worst when your therapist calls you out. It's like, why? I know you're free. And you're like, no, I'm not. They're like, and those are the ones that they always get mad at you because they're like, those are the sessions you need the get mad at you because they're like, those are
Starting point is 01:04:25 the sessions you need the most. That's what she tells me. But you know my phone's on. Do not disturb. You're like, I can't hear you. I'm like, I miss them. But I feel so guilty and so ashamed. I do too.
Starting point is 01:04:40 When I ghost my therapist, is there anything more toxic than ghosting your therapist? You're literally like, this is like the most toxic because it's the healthiest relationship you're in. But like so toxic. So bad. Sometimes you just, you can't. We need a break. I mean, sometimes I don't want to tuck my feelings too much.
Starting point is 01:04:56 And sometimes it's like exhausting. I just feel like a record on repeat. And again, it goes back to like, feel like I should be healed by now. Now you're shoving this down my throat. I hope you, and I know this to any one going through mental health situations or survivors, whatever it is, like it is not on you to speed up the process
Starting point is 01:05:20 of recovery from trauma. That was not your fault. And so it's hard to, again, as athletes, you're trained to get over things so quickly, but this is one thing you have to rewire your brain. You be like, it's okay to feel this and don't shove it away. Call your therapist, talk it through. No, 100%, I agree.
Starting point is 01:05:41 And I think I've learned that with my therapy over the years. So I am very grateful that I'm in therapy and thankful for the resources we have because before this, no athlete was very outspoken about doing therapy or this, that, the other, or even just getting help. So we are in a very fortunate situation that we're able to do that and we're allowed to be vulnerable with our fans and with our community. So I guess I just want to say thank you to them too because without them we wouldn't be able to do what we do. So, um, okay, this is still call her daddy. So I want to talk about your husband you're married to an NFL player Jonathan Owens.
Starting point is 01:06:40 You're married to an NFL player Jonathan Owens. You met on Raya, which first I just want to say like, God bless you, Owens. You met on Raya. Which first I just want to say, God bless you, because I had no luck on Raya. Girl, Raya was just doing nothing for me but DJs in Australia. So good for you. You didn't have it. I had no luck. I could have changed your settings.
Starting point is 01:06:57 Thank you. Your settings were up. Were they? Kathy's chick. 5200 miles. Listen, I had enough of my days without you. Your settings were up! Were they? Athlete's check. 5200 miles. Listen, I had enough of my days with athletes, okay?
Starting point is 01:07:11 It's the moment I had to move on. What made his profile stand out? I think, first of all, boys are so different from girls because we're picking the cutest backgrounds, the most aesthetically looking pictures. And I wanted him to see, I didn't want to really show that I was a gymnast, so I didn't want to put like a gymnastic, gymnasticy picture in there
Starting point is 01:07:34 unless he had to click on my Instagram and then see I was a gymnast. So I didn't want that to be the first impression. So I was like, okay, face, not that much makeup, this, that, the other. But what stood out on his profile was just like he seemed so charismatic. He had these little dimples, you know, the light eyes. And I was like, oh, he's so cute. I think he had his bulldog on there.
Starting point is 01:07:59 He has a dog. This is so cute. That's how, I mean, note to men listening, even if you don't own a dog, take a picture with the dog and put it on your profile because it won't work. To me, if he had a dog, that meant he was responsible. I love that you think that is the first thing. Yeah. I mean, Mom, like, oh, he's so cute.
Starting point is 01:08:17 Is that him laughing back there? Someone's laughing. He probably is, but listen. Someone's laughing. Then I went to his profile and I didn't know it was his nephew and I was like, he has a kid! Oh no! You thought he had and I was like, he has a kid! Oh no! You thought he had a kid? I thought he had a kid.
Starting point is 01:08:28 But then, you know, my soccer skills, our soccer skills, I... Thirty seconds, you figured it out. I figured it out. You figured it out. It was his sister's son, yes. Of course. So it was okay. When did you start to realize he was the one?
Starting point is 01:08:40 You... I know, I know. No, actually, and this is so cliche because everybody says this, but like the first time I met him, I came home from like our little date and stuff and my friends were at my house and I was like, I'm going to marry him. Like who says that? I don't know why I said that. I don't know what it is, but I just felt something.
Starting point is 01:08:59 It just like felt different. Like what? Like the energy or? The energy, how well we got along. And like, it was a COVID relationship. It was like March of 2020, whenever I went over. I had to go to his apartment to meet him. It wasn't in a public setting. And we knew it didn't want to be public
Starting point is 01:09:15 because we're both like public figures. They just take pictures, whatever. But to go to his apartment, I was like, Right, like. For a first date. But we had no other choice. Everything was like, for a first date. But we had no other choice. Everything was really shutting down in our city. Like that week, everything was starting to shut down.
Starting point is 01:09:31 And so for me, I was like, let's just do a play date with the bulldogs. And he was like, because I have a bulldog too. And he was like, well no, because then we'll be distracted by the dogs. And for me, I kind of sometimes like distractions that's away from me so that like if it's awkward I'm like oh my dog look at her.
Starting point is 01:09:49 The dog is sitting on the floor. Literally so he was like no not for the first date then we'll introduce them like and I was like oh okay. Cute. But then I walked in and his dog was so excited he peed all over the floor. And I was like maybe girls aren't here very often. Great sign. He's never seen a girl, the dog has never met a girl.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Context clues, Simone, you're a genius. You're like, they've never seen a woman. Or even the delusion, you're like, they've never seen a woman. The delusion. What is married life like? To me, I mean, God, we were together the whole entire time. And then as soon as we get married, Green Bay's like, hey, we want to sign him.
Starting point is 01:10:30 So we went from our wedding, dropped our bags, flew off the next morning, signed a Green Bay, and they were like, see you Monday, Jonathan. So as soon as we got married, it was long distance. So it was very different. Now he's back home. Now we're getting back into the groove of things. Because we were both on our schedules, we're both athletes, and I think that's what is so nice about our relationship is like we get to focus on our sports respectively and
Starting point is 01:10:54 then we get to focus on each other. But it's no different, we're still dating, you know, we're about to be four years in. So yeah, married life is no different. Okay, Jonathan, if you're listening. I don't even know if he's in this house yet. I think he is. We have to talk about the viral moment. Like we have to do it.
Starting point is 01:11:13 I knew you were going to ask about it. I have to. I have to. Jonathan's viral interview where he said he had no idea who you were and the internet went insane. What was your reaction when you heard the interview and everything? I was in the room. I was sitting on the chair. You just couldn't see me on the videos. I was there for the whole entire video.
Starting point is 01:11:34 And you were feeling great? I was feeling great. I was like, my man just killed that. No. And I was like, stop, stop. And I'm so excited. And like, they even panned over to me with that viral moment.
Starting point is 01:11:44 And I just like roll my eyes and laugh because like... But the funny thing is, is whenever I met Jonathan, we were texting that week and I... At that point I'm like, okay, I don't have time to waste. So if we're going to meet, Chris, if it goes over a week, you're not meeting. Forget this. And so we met that week, but whenever I would text him anything I text him, he would say, I can do that. I can do that.
Starting point is 01:12:08 So he could do everything. He was a comedian. He was a dog trainer. He was the best cook out there. He was the fastest runner. He could do everything. And that cracked me up about him. So I couldn't wait to meet him to be like, you're not funny.
Starting point is 01:12:23 You're not a good cook. You're not shit. Literally. So I just thought that was funny because, and I thought that was cute that he thought he was good at everything because I'm like, I'm good at gymnastics. And he's like, I'm good at everything.
Starting point is 01:12:36 And so whenever he did that interview, I thought everything was okay. I'm dying that you're in the corner. And then I go on Twitter and everybody's like, divorce this man, he's mean. And I'm like, he's the sweetest. He like, he praises the ground that I walk on. Like truly, I've never met a man like him.
Starting point is 01:12:55 He still opens my doors. He's still, and I'm not saying that to be like, he still opens my doors because that's to be expected of men, but like he truly goes out of his way to do anything for me. Today, I was like, babe, I'm at the gym and I forgot my camera. Can you bring it? And I meant to bring it to this house.
Starting point is 01:13:12 He brought it to the gym. No, no. But he's just so sweet. Right. He's just doing things like you feel loved and you feel supported. And obviously- Yeah, so I didn't think anything of that interview. And he never said I wasn't a catch.
Starting point is 01:13:24 He said he was a catch because he is. I've never think anything of that interview. And he never said I wasn't a catch. He said he was a catch. Because he is. I've never met a man like him. A lot of people that meet him are like, oh my gosh, like I want a man like that, like Jonathan. A lot of the girls at the gym, they love him. He's so nice to them. He supports them.
Starting point is 01:13:38 He's so sweet. One of the girls at the gym, she's like my little sister, and we had gone to, I think we were at camp. And I always drive her to camp, so she drops her car off at my house and she's like my little sister, and we had gone to, I think we were at camp, and I always drive her to camp, so she drops her car off at my house, and she parks it in the driveway. He got her windows tinted. He was like, you can't be fish bowling out here,
Starting point is 01:13:53 and got her windows tinted. Like he's the sweetest. Like he's thinking of the little things. Yes. I think what's crazy is first of all, just as we know, the internet, like you never know what's gonna go viral. And they'll take it and run,
Starting point is 01:14:04 and that's exactly what they did. Why do you think people got so upset? Because he wasn't, first of all, that interview had nothing to do with me. It was all for him, so I think they were mad that he didn't include me in the interview, but he has to have his moments too, and I let him have it. Whenever I go to football games,
Starting point is 01:14:23 like sometimes I get field passes, but I'm not like, hey look at me, Simone Biles is here. I just wanna see my man in that uniform, give me a little kiss, good luck out there. It's like, this is his moment, that's his interview, what was I supposed to interrupt that interview and be like, hey, da da da da da. Right, you're like, I actually like that you're like,
Starting point is 01:14:42 sometimes I'm like, I wanna have my wag moment on the field where I'm just like, I'm like that you're like sometimes I'm like I want to have my wag moment on the field Where I'm just like I'm not Simone Biles the Olympian I'm just Simone Biles like and that's my boo on the field. Yes, and I love to support him So I think that they were mad that whenever they said he yeah, and by the way, like he said it but Brian Clark like said it so many times like yeah, so you're saying so it was kind of hyped up You know boys whatever like yes those conversations or drinking their little tequila, whatever it is. So I think that was the thing.
Starting point is 01:15:10 If it was that girls moment, it's just different. That was like their fireside chat that they're outside hanging with the boys, whatever. There was no, there was nothing foul about it. When that was all going crazy and trending, what are you guys saying to each other? I thought it was hilarious what people were saying, divorce him, divorce him, all this crazy stuff. He doesn't even like to say divorce. He's probably dying right now that I've said it like six times in a row.
Starting point is 01:15:34 Divorce. Yeah, literally. Divorce. Because that's, whatever. So I thought it was hilarious at first, and then they hurt my feelings. And then one night I broke down and I'm like, why are you guys talking about my husband like this? Like you don't know him, you don't know who he is,
Starting point is 01:15:50 and if anybody's met him they know he's the sweetest guy and will do anything for anybody. Yeah, it was just perceived and not the correct way. Yes, and so that really hurt that they were talking about my husband like that. Because for me it's like, talk about me all you want, but don't come for my family. Never. Because I've been in the limelight long enough where I can brush
Starting point is 01:16:10 things off, have my little pow-wow about it. You're not going to know I cried about it, but I'd be crying about some stuff. But I only cry about it because I can't clap back. Just know that. Why not? Why couldn't you? I hurt their feelings. You're like, you don't want me to clap out. Yeah, and it's just like classy, you know? Classy.
Starting point is 01:16:32 Yes, because whenever I was younger, I used to have Twitter fingers too. Oh, okay. Like my agent like, someone can you take that down? No, no. You know? Because I would go off on people because who are you to say? And so every now and then if I say something, it's like slick and clever. But I can really go there. Yeah, you're just like, it's better to say. And so every now and then if I say something, it's like slick and clever, but I can really go there.
Starting point is 01:16:46 Yeah, you're just like, it's better to not. Exactly. Yeah. Okay, Jonathan has never… They're in the drafts. Yeah, yeah. They're in the drafts. You draft them and you never send them. Because if I at least type it out, I feel better.
Starting point is 01:16:56 Everyone's going to hack your Twitter. I hope someone hacks your Twitter and just rips. Can you imagine? We're like, damn. Yeah. Because they're like quoted. Literally. Okay, Jonathan has never gotten to go to the Olympics before with you. Can you imagine? We're like, damn. Yeah. Damn. Because they're like quoted. Literally. Okay, Jonathan has never gotten to go to the Olympics before with you. What are you most excited about for him to experience?
Starting point is 01:17:13 Well, hopefully he gets to go because that's usually their training camp. And he's working on a new contract. So hopefully he'll work in his new contract at least like two days. Like even if it's like, hey, personal day. But some teams are really, really nice about like if you work with their family relations. Some are more family oriented than others. So fingers crossed, we'll get to see him in the stands. So I'm excited for him to see that.
Starting point is 01:17:41 One I'm excited to see, him to see the Olympics because football's not in the Olympics. And he always says it's like the hardest sport, it's universal. And I'm like, so why isn't it in the Olympics if not every country does it? Period. But no, just to see that spirit and I'm at Paris, I think they'll do a beautiful job. And he doesn't travel overseas too, too much. The first time he went overseas was like when, I think he was on the Texans and they went to London.
Starting point is 01:18:10 Like he had to get a passport. He never had a passport before. Oh, so you're like, come with me, babe. Let me show you the world. Literally. Literally. Okay. Regardless of what happens in Paris, what do you hope your legacy is? To be an advocate for anything that I've been outspoken
Starting point is 01:18:28 about, mental health, foster care, ADHD, whatever that is, but also just someone that gave it her all, never gave up, but also had fun and enjoyed her career because I think a lot of times athletes might look back at their career and be like, I wish I had more fun or I wish I did this differently. But I'm kind of at that age where I've been, I don't really have any more regrets because I'm a little bit older, I'm more mature. Everything I've done has kind of been on like my time, so I don't have regrets. I think that is so beautiful.
Starting point is 01:19:09 And I think, first, I would just like to thank you because hearing so much of what you're talking about, you are so perceived on the internet and there's so much pressure. It's difficult to open up and sit and be honest and vulnerable. And I appreciate you trusting me with your story and this experience because I am such a huge fan of yours and I think you are so much more than gymnastics, but you are kick-ass badass as a gymnast, obviously the greatest of all time. So I just cannot wait to see what's next for you. And I don't just mean obviously the Olympics, like just your life and your career and Simone
Starting point is 01:19:44 Biles and I love you. Congrats. Congrats. Oh my God. We did it. Yay! Woo!

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