Call Her Daddy - Stop Cyberbullying and Start Masturbating

Episode Date: October 10, 2021

Ask and you shall receive…this mini episode is the second part of Father Cooper’s conversation with Eileen Kelly. So if you have not yet listened to the full Eileen Kelly episode – go get her done and then come on back. Big Al and Eileen continue the conversation around masturbation and hope to soon see all you daddies out there flicking the bean. We heard Eileen’s revenge porn story, but it doesn’t stop there, Eileen was also the victim of online stalking and harassment. Eileen shares everything… including what happened when the stalker was eventually caught and the conversation that went down. You may not have experience with the world of Hollywood agents, but everyone has had at least one shitty boss in their lifetime. Unfortunately for Eileen, she was dumped by her agent (no they weren’t dating) and as you would expect, Eileen spills all of the tea. Enjoy daddy-hoes.

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. And 5, 6, 7, 8, in New York! What's up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Bert Gagagen, for another episode of Call Her Daddy. Can you feel the vibration? G-g-g-g-vibration. Okay.

Hi, I'm podcasting. We're back. Daddy gang, this past week on Wednesday, the main Call Her Daddy episode was with Eileen Kelly. She has a podcast called Going Mental and all of you enjoyed the episode. So I figured this fucking episode was two and a half hours long and I had so many stories that I couldn't include because I didn't want you to hate me and be sitting in your chair for two and a half hours. So I'm breaking it up. All right. We're back at it again with Eileen Kelly today. And I don't know, I may like this even more than the original main pod. So fucking enjoy masturbating. We're getting right into it.

We're getting right back into it on masturbation. I was so happy to hear that it really helped some of you. Some of you sent me pictures masturbating in the moment I just I was so happy like many of you squirting many of you orgasming in my dms and I was like that's that energy that I need here on call her fucking daddy but in all seriousness really happy that this helped you guys and you're enjoying it and you're hopefully going to start masturbating more or begin to think about it. You are not alone. You have no idea how many people were nervous to begin touching themselves. And now all of a sudden I've created a monster out of all of you. You can't be stopped. Here's a little bit more Daddy Gang on masturbating. XOXO, big out. go so many women wrote in being like I'm embarrassed I don't feel comfortable within

myself to masturbate like I feel awkward I came from a culture of shame yeah I was taught that was wrong but even like if you go all the way back to your potty training days from a culture of shame yeah I was taught that was wrong but even like if you go all the way back to your potty training days which a lot of people can't remember yeah if your parents taught you that like natural bodily functions were like bad or like you know don't wet the bed and has this negative overtone that can actually really affect your sex life later on and just how you view or like why are boys and girls like boys are always given names of like literally like their penis and stuff whereas women are like no child knows the word vulva i honestly didn't even know vulva until like five years ago or your clitoris like i

didn't know vagina like it's always like some weird like baby name for it and so like those are like serious differences that then affect how you feel about your body it's so true and it's interesting because I did have also an overwhelming amount of people being like I can have sex with my boyfriend but something about being alone I don't even know what to do so I feel like maybe this isn't the conversation you expected to have but like going back to how often do you masturbate what's your setup like let's just talk masturbation and your maybe your relationship to it when it started how it's evolved yeah I think I started probably in middle school I think I was on a trip a family like vacation in a warm place

maybe it was the first time around the first time that i watched porn okay and that's when i started masturbating in middle school probably was it was it probably like sixth grade or something was it like scary to see that porn at that age or were you just like no i think it was like it was like super kind of safe pg porn i actually think i used to watch it on playboy's website so it was like maybe just girls topless like it wasn't even people fucking got it that makes sense um and so it wasn't overwhelming at all but i remember feeling like really kind of dirty and gross after i would do it but i understand because i've been there before. I think with the whole Catholic thing growing up, not it being normalized whenever you're

touching yourself, like stop that, like don't touch yourself. It's a natural thing. And I think the issue also for girls, it's like all of a sudden it becomes like so normal for like guys to go jerk off or like do whatever, like they need to do that. But like it's so unnormal for women for some reason. And people, women will lie about it. Like especially in high school, all the girls were like, I've never do that. But like it's so unnormal for women for some reason. Women will lie about it. Like especially in high school. Yeah.

Girls were like I've never done that. But you definitely have. But I don't blame them for lying about it. It's because it's like a quote unquote embarrassing thing. Which is like wait why. And that's I think why I call her daddy when it started. I was like grab your fingers and do it for a guy doesn't need to do it for you. A girl doesn't need to do it.

Nobody needs to do it for you. You can do it yourself. But you need to do it yourself to know what you like one thousand like if you cannot and for people listening like if you can't make yourself orgasm how do you expect to teach a partner how to make you orgasm or like to even relax with a partner you probably feel comfortable with a partner because again that's kind of how like society has deemed it. Like the man comes in. Yeah. Like, and that's sex. But to go back to basics, when I first started masturbating, like I didn't have a toy and I just, again, you don't really learn about like your clip verse, like your vulva verse, like inside, like, what am I doing? I feel like for me, and I openly talk about how like my first toy

was like my electric toothbrush. And like I use the back of the head and I just started trying it. And I think I started really masturbating in like college, like high school. It was just my fingers if I was trying anything. And then college, I was like, all right, let's get into this. I would suggest for anyone listening, if you're feeling, let's go to like the embarrassment. Like, okay, let's take a girl standing in front of us right now being like, I'm embarrassed. I don't know how to be alone with myself and I don't know how to masturbate. Like, let's almost try to like step by step, walk them through of like, let's get her comfortable with it. Well, I think the most important thing is it doesn't even have to be sexual. I think you need to like take a mirror, literally like a handheld mirror and

just like look at your vagina. Like, I feel like so many women have never just sat down and looked at like their vulva dude I remember having sex with Emily on and her being like could you pick your vagina out of a lineup yeah could you do it no exactly if you can't you don't know your vagina well enough that's your best fucking friend so and listen with you for life back it's with you for life it's with you for life so good I also think if it's uncomfortable for you then start there and like every day of the week force yourself to like look at your vagina and force yourself to get to a point where you're like you're no longer cringing and you're like okay and all of a sudden now you want to touch it and be like okay what's going on there it broke my heart reading some of these dms i was like no i get the same similar ones and it's like i think the shower is like a good place to start exploring like where

you know no one's gonna barge in on you so like do it when you're home alone or you can lock the door as important like you have to set the scene the same way you would set the scene like sometimes with a partner start with your fingers if you don't have lube i would suggest buy lube that's like the one thing almost before a sex toy like get some lube for yourself take your pointer your middle finger and literally just start rubbing around lightly and just it's going to feel good so like even just like closing your eyes and like imagining you know like even the person you have a crush on the crush someone hot in a movie that you're into exactly literally picture that and go there because it's like I get it's

hard for women be like I don't want to watch porn I'm like okay I I get that a lot of porn is like so aggressive and so degrading and like to find a good porn video you have to go through like hundreds of like ones that you're like oh man a tip for all of you i have like in my like private web pages on my phone i'll keep like my favorite ones that like worked for me oh i have a notes app but i will say a lot of the porn that i have liked to watch i don't like the super studio production i like the more amateur stuff same and porn hub and like x videos just went through like major renovation got in trouble so they had to take down a lot of videos like honestly like 80 of their videos okay so i

hope you guys enjoyed that little extra masturbating moment i also want to add you don't need to act like you know what you're doing and And when everyone is starting out, figuring out their body, figuring out, figuring out all the way back to the basics of like, how the fuck do I even make out? How much tongue? How much not tongue? Like, what do I do? Do I go for the upper lip, lower? Like, there's so much detail into exploring sex in general. And I want to just make it clear that there is no magical, guys, I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about Christmas. I would say there's no magical elf that just pops up to show you where your fucking clit is. Wouldn't that be the best Christmas gift of the year? He's like, here's the red zone, baby.

But the point is, is that there is no manual. Even if I sit here and I explain to you what works for me, it's probably not exactly to a T also going to work for you. And also, like Eileen said, like de-stigmatizing the shame that we have been trained to feel around touching ourselves. It should be more of a celebration and excitement and that little extra dessert for the night rather than, oh, God, what are my elders going to say? And oh, God, grandma's looking down on me being like, shame on you, Becky. We want grandma to be more like, get in there, Becky. The point is you are not alone. Figure out what works for you. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just touch yourself. So like I said in the beginning, Eileen had so many stories that we couldn't get to all of them in the pod but I wanted to share this one because

it embodies everything I've started to talk about with regard to the negative side of social media people are forgetting that there is a human being behind every profile. Yeah, I had a cyber stalker. I know. What? I know. I'll just quickly say. Eileen!

Like six years ago. And they would make like a million, honestly, like maybe like 70 or 80 fake accounts over like a five month span. And then they started sending me my address. They found my home address and they were like you're gonna get murdered and so I quickly just like climbed the ladder to being actually terrifying so I had to go to police and it was like a whole thing and this is kind of before I feel like there were laws in place this is probably 2015 and it took like six months for facebook to give up the ip because facebook owns instagram to like give up the person's ip address to like even be able to like figure out who it was

and it was some random girl who lived in the middle of the country didn't even live by me and she had been trolling me for months and she ended up calling i don't know how she got my number she ended up calling me like years later and apologizing to me i never pressed charges or anything i just wanted them to stop what the fuck did she say she was just like because i had written like i think I wrote a big article for playboy on the experience and she was like I read your article and I just want to say like I'm really really sorry for putting you through that and I was obviously like it doesn't excuse it but I was like going through something like this person was clearly having actually like a psychotic break like the

amount of energy to make a new Instagram account you have to make a new email she made like over like a hundred accounts honestly probably more because i would block them and then a new one would pop up like 20 minutes later and they made a whole fake account where they would post like lies about me but they followed everyone i followed so people would look at it you know it like got attention because then people would be like, Oh, what's this account following me? And it would post like insane, insane stuff. And so I knew this person didn't know me. And I remember like the detectives and the police people being like, you know, this person, like they made me bring in my high school

yearbooks to the police station. And I was i'm telling you if this person knew me they would have actual dirt that was real like they would know someone i fucked or like when i dated or someone i had a falling out with like everything they're posting none of this is real and that's what was kind of scary because people then read that and they believe it that's the and that's what was really fucked up and it became this like really weird domino effect for like months of me seeing people that I knew from high school who like weren't nice to me or I didn't have a relationship with commenting, being like, holy shit, like I didn't know she's like this or la la la. And you're like, this is all lies.

And I'm like, this is literally lies. Which is the fucked up part of social media is like even when you know. There's no vetting. Yeah. Even when it comes out that it's a lie, once've seen it it still doesn't leave your head like people are gonna still I'm so sorry that's literally my nightmare like it did get like all deleted and ever since honestly I wrote that article I felt like I was able to clear the air yeah like it hasn't followed me since it's been years but at the time i was like i thought i was dying i was like holy shit my life my reputation like everything is like getting fucked up the ass and it's a girl in the middle

of the fucking country just like living at her parents house if anyone is listening to this that is currently writing hate comments like i we see you we don't really see you but we read you we read your comments and like just be nicer like what like think to yourself why am I writing this like what do you get from this like the hate that they're spewing it's so internal within you that like think about think about if you had to walk around every day with all the comments that you're posting about someone next to you like what does that make you look like just like the heaviness right but also I think realizing that like okay you and I are real people like the people that you're commenting this on like yeah it shows up on a screen but like we're humans we have emotions

that stuff like hurts our feelings yeah and I feel like people do it because they're envious or they're jealous or they're not feeling great about their life. So that's why I try to be more vulnerable and like real on Instagram these days ever since I got out. Cause I'm like, yeah, my life isn't all sunshine. No, it's not perfect at all. So don't be a dick you don't have to add to it personally I love a good thirst trap I now I'm realizing I haven't thrown one up in a minute I need to get on my game um what is your response to people who criticize you for like over sexualizing your Instagram like do you get haters not really anymore but I also don't think I put up as many thirst trap stuff as I've gotten older as I did when I was young same um

which is like a weird thing that I probably need to psychoanalyze but a lot of the stuff and I would love to talk to you wait let's do it let's psychoanalyze it I'm also wondering too because I literally was just like wait why haven't I posted something like that in a while but also why do people connect like posting up a thirst trap you know ultimately they're connecting it with your sex life right so like oh if she posts a naked photo she's easy she's slutty but it's like I could literally be posting a naked photo and be a virgin literally there's no connection there right doesn't all of a sudden like mean you have a snapshot of my sex life so true and also I look back and I'm like trying to think of moments where I've posted a thirst trap and I'm like okay maybe younger

college Alex was doing it because I was like I want to get that guy's attention and like it was like validation online yeah like I don't need to text him tonight what his plans are I'm gonna post this fucking photo and then I know he's gonna slide in in 10 minutes also I don't regret that at all as I've gotten older like I feel good and so I'll just be like I want to post it I don't know I think girls like if you're if you want to like post a fucking photo like I feel like a lot of times people get insecure about what will my friends say yeah what will my family think what will my family think I don't know it's like a double-edged sword though I'm like well my

family doesn't check that shit so I've always had that freedom of like posting whatever the fuck I want where I do feel like I have friends who like they're not in the same boat with that like I do think their mom or their dad would flip out if they posted something so I think you just have to do what works for you and your life is what's most important but also I would get a lot of slack years ago of not being taken as seriously if I was posting those types of photos and I wonder if now that you know you're reaching new heights in your career, if you ever feel that way, why are they connected? Like I think a woman can be sexy and like own her attractiveness and her body from such a young age, women are taught to use your

appearance. So it's like, okay, if we reach a certain age and we want to use it to our advantage like yeah fuck the system right i ebb and flow with it like i feel like maybe before the deal i was like okay i know engagement comes higher if i post a sexy photo yeah it's fucked up but it's just true it's true like we just have just have to own that. Right. Yes. Like I know that's going to get the most likes. I know then all of a sudden people are going to have come to my page from comments and tags. And so to me, before the deal, there was a lot of pressure on myself as a businesswoman to be like, how do I continue to maintain an engagement level that will help by the end show like my numbers were the biggest this year yes and that is exactly what happened was it because of thirst traps no but I was definitely making it decisions business-wise and not because I was like oh I look cute like this

past year was because I was like let me get more engagement now I feel and fucked up, but like, I don't feel like I need to ever post one again. And the only time I want to post it is if I'm like, okay, fuck the world needs to see this one. This is a good fucking one. But it's, it is fucked up because it's like, then I try to always speak to everyone listening. If you're not in the social media space and you just have a normal Instagram and you're listening to this and you're like but i want to post it but i'm embarrassed i think you got to just fucking post it like i don't know i just feel like girls are so catty when it comes to talking shit about other girls posts and scrutinizing them and i think really it just has to do with more of the girls that are talking shit you're jealous or you wish you could also do the same or you're insecure so I don't know

I've had girls literally DM me being like I feel like my friends talk shit when I like post a selfie you know those girls that like don't do it often so it would be so embarrassing if they ever did or do you know those friends who are like your friends but they like don't actually like any of your photos yes you know where you're like wait you're supposed to be my best friend or like they don't post you they'll post other friends yep and you're like and you're like um what is that about yeah if there's just such a culture that has been created about social media etiquette that I think is so different than what would be created in like a high school schoolyard and I just feel for everyone that's growing up with now the internet being almost full force yeah so I try to actually be off of

TikTok I haven't gone on TikTok dude this is this is an episode coming out ours will come out after it but I was talking about how I have not gone on TikTok since there was a picture of me. I do. I'm doing a whole episode about it. I got caught photoshopping a photo and it was a really low moment for me. And like, I know what I did and I don't need people to tell me that I'm an awful person because I was insecure about my body and photoshop. I don't think you're an awful person, obviously. I don't think.

Thanks, Eileen. No, but if you put any one of those people who are commenting that stuff and they were on a stage where millions of people are looking at their photo like i'm sure they would do the same thing and it's like these unrealistic beauty standards that just women have and especially in la and in hollywood i had madison beer on my podcast and we talked about that, talked about editing photos and like she was really real about it. Dude, people are ruthless to her. And people are so nasty to her. It's so bad. And she's always on like celeb face or that. People are always like, she's too pretty. It can't be real. And it's like. Yeah. And so she's like, okay, when I'm not wearing makeup

and then people are like, oh, you look disgusting. But then when I do try to like feel good about myself and get done up then it's like you're too pretty and she's like I can never win and she's like no one really cares about my the actual things that I'm doing of like my music like it's always reverted back to like she's this Instagram hot girl it's really sad and I just like why are women reduced to that right like her songs are great go listen to her fucking song yeah that's why i think in the beginning too that was a power move that i kept trying to enforce in the very beginning of caller daddy when people would be like oh they're like just a slut talking about whatever and i'd be like it's a podcast you don't see my face when i'm talking about what i'm talking about so like don't reduce me to my

looks because you don't even see me while i'm talking about something dick so fuck you do you feel like that has shifted totally the deal yes but I people take you more quote-unquote seriously now or do you feel still feel that pull and I only say that because I definitely that was a big identity thing for me like okay I'm posting these naked photos and yeah that's part of my identity like I'm a young in my 20s like sexual person I love like going out with my friends and going dancing and getting fucked up and like I'm hot and I own it yeah and then there's this part of me that's like okay I want to go and talk at an Ivy League school and like meet with doctors and have like big board certified psychiatrists on my podcast and be able to have an intellectual conversation. All right, all right, all right. Listen up. Agents can be fucking assholes. And you're like, Alex, I don't have a fucking agent.

Well, do you have a boss? Do you have some asshole at work that's trying to steal your idea or tell you how to operate in the world simply because he's one year older than you and he has a penis? Or even if it's a woman, it could be a woman that's putting you down because she's insecure or she's whatever it is there's always a dynamic within the work environment where someone could be above you or even appear and they're trying to hinder you from reaching your full potential enjoy this segment because Eileen and I go in so I got dumped by my agent just agents dude like two months ago no maybe a month wait I love how you say dumped I thought you were gonna say dumped by my boyfriend I was like

no I got dumped by my agent we always dump my boyfriends yeah you're like no no I've never gotten dumped but I did get dumped by my agents go fuck dumped by my agents I think and I do think it's very nuanced and like we could we could go there. Tell me. But basically, obviously. So I used to have a podcast a couple of years ago. I did just honestly 10 episodes before I went away to treatment and it was on sex, but like very specific sexual identities. So like I had someone who was asexual and I had a professional dominatrix. And these are relatively like nobodies but they were big in their community so people who did public speaking on like one woman had genital herpes and she came

on and talked about what's it like to date with genital herpes yeah and they were really informative episodes and they were great then i went away and then i came back and i was like you know what i'm not going to pick up my career where i left off I want to go into this mental health space basically I called my agent and they just weren't really aligned with me switching from sex to mental health because obviously sex sells and so they dumped me but they dumped me so callously actually one of them so I had several agents okay I'm sure you're familiar right like you have a book agent you have a agent for non-scripted television I had a podcast agent like paid an agent for endorsements so my non-scripted agent called me and and was like we just don't really we're not super aligned with like where you're moving so we need to and I cry I'm honestly

really embarrassed because I was it was so shocking that I freaked out and started crying and was a little bit like no give me a second chance and I think the next morning when I woke up I was like fuck you and honestly he called me a week later to apologize at how like rude he was and I was like honestly you're gonna kick yourself in a year like put money on that that person was never meant to be your agent then if they didn't see the transition from sex to mental health which also are fully intertwined so intertwined right so related right it's also sad that it's a man saying that and it's like you know what maybe that's it's something within you

that's making you so uncomfortable I have a little goodie that I'll just share on this. So a friend of mine, a girl I know, used to hook up with that agent. Oh! Oh, listen to this. And they had been hooking up for a while. And she went to him and she said, I think I'm ready to sign. She does a lot of media work. And she doesn't do a podcast, but she does this Instagram show.

And I think she'll be super successful. I could see her having a talk show. She's just climbing the ladder. And she went to him and she does like this Instagram show and she's, I think she'll be super successful. Like I could see her having a talk show. She's just like work climbing the ladder. And she went to him and she was like, I think I'm ready to sign. And he said, no one's going to take a meeting with you. Like very small dick energy.

But I told her and I ran into her at like a party a month ago after this had happened. And I was like, you know what? That's his loss. And like being told no even in that moment and getting dumped or rejected by my agent obviously it sucked like I literally cried all night but then I was like you know what if these people don't believe in me like fuck them I'm gonna find someone who does and I'm gonna prove them wrong you need to like in business

I feel like also like take those moments as like thank fucking god they showed their true colors because now you would it would be like so awful if all of a sudden you have this like crazy thing that comes along and they get to be a part of it it's like they get to take 10 or 15 go fuck yourself no literally but what sucked also is for years like he had taken me to dinner and like would do that whole hollywood agent spiel you know it well oh yeah i avoid them all i'm like i can't go to dinner i'm sick and then this happens and it was so like okay we've been trying for a couple years and like we're not making as much money as we want to like if you're not a tiktoker who walks

in with 100 million followers that like we can make easy quick money on like we don't want you dude let me just tell you i won't go that hard but agents i love mine but have a very dark existence because they're essentially not it i could go off but like i could go off yeah I just hit my microphone I'm like fuck you no don't that's frustrating and I'm really sorry but again next next thing that you get where you're like oh look at me thriving send him flowers because that was something that I've been waiting to do for my ex's agent who like tried to ruin my career and I was like the day I can someone write that down in the room send we need to send him flowers write that down he it's it's an agent

at caa that was my boyfriend's agent and when i think i'm actually gonna switch to caa who were you with i was with wme oh okay no we don't i don't know anyone at wme but that's not mine so we can say fuck you no love you guys honestly i had a good experience with a couple of my agents like they were great right and then i had a really horrible experience with a couple of them so i didn't know like is it kosher is it not kosher to switch agents within the agency and it's like it's super political like this weird thing and i think if you grow up in a family who's not like i'm not a nepotism child like my family literally my dad owns a

shipyard like could not be less related to Hollywood yeah so it's like I don't have anyone to go to advice about these situations or like having an entertainment lawyer who's like looking over like four or five years ago when four years ago when I signed with WME like it was like dipping my toe in like a pond I had no idea. I remember when CAA, that was my first agency. We never did anything with them. Where are you with now? UTI. UTI. I always like to say if they're pissing me off, I'm like UTI, you need to back up. No, but CAA was my first agency and nothing against them. It just, there was nothing happening. But, um, and we can talk off camera about this. It's hard to get lost in the sauce it is and i was like

it was there's just a lot of politics behind it and so i relate to you especially being young where you're the talent and all these men are trying to like tell you what to do with your career and i'm like wait so you want me you can't even get a bitch to suck your dick. Literally. Literally. So fuck off. Daddy King. I'm laying on my bed. I hope you guys enjoyed the mini episode. I loved it. I love Eileen.

I love you. Can you tell? We're coming up to the fucking holiday season. Daddy King. You know the motherfucking drill. I will see you fuckers Next Wednesday That's what I'm talking about