Call Her Daddy - The Hamptons Confessional (ft. Noah Centineo, Leah, Miguel, Maria, Owen, Hallie & more)

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

I rang in my dirty 30’s by raging in the Hamptons and naturally things got crazy. I decided to set up a confessional booth at my party and you won’t believe what people said. Daddy Gang, get ready to experience an insane night with the UNWELL family and hear some wild confessions.

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Daddy Gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I would say on a weekly basis, I indulge in maybe, maybe a couple glasses of wine, maybe one tequila throughout the course of seven days, okay? But every time I throw an unwell event, the little rager inside of me, the girl who loved Four Locos back in the day, the girl who didn't even flinch when she would drink straight vodka out of a water bottle in college. She comes back out. She comes back out and she's reborn for about 48 to 64 hours. And then I put her back down and I lay her to rest for the next time that I will let her wake up again. Okay. And this past weekend she woke up and I went full fucking throttle. I was throwing my 30th birthday party in the

Hamptons. And here's the thing. Every single time I go to the Hamptons, it is a shit show in the most beautiful way because I get in and I get out. I'm not spending all summer there. I'm not even doing weeks there. It is a weekend and we get out and we go home. And when I woke up in my house in Los Angeles, still hungover, still sweating tequila, still recovering, I got an email from my video guy with a link. And the subject line of this email read, uncensored Hamptons confessional footage. Enjoy. Now, I set up a cute, innocent confessional thinking. I honestly thought my friends would pop in and say a few words, maybe sing me a cute

happy birthday. But as you can imagine, this is not how this story goes. For anyone who wasn't able to make it and was suffering from FOMO, I have got you covered. What I will say though, Daddy Gang, is you know I'm a podcast girl through and through and I rarely ask you to do this, but please for the love of fucking God, watch this episode on video. like this is not one to be like jamming to in the car you need to watch this it is a full visual glorious experience prepare yourselves and get ready to hear from Leah, Miguel, Hallie, Owen, Maria, Noah Centineo, Daddy Gang is in this episode, and Kiera, who we just signed to Unwell.

She is the queen of book talk. She is fucking hilarious. And I am not ready for you to hear her JCPenney story. So without further ado, Daddy Gang, I give you the Unwell Confessional. Enjoy. now I'm ready to get loose hello I'm Kiara i'm from houston texas i do book related content and yeah i was in a sorority so this unwell lifestyle this ain't new to me baby this ain't new to me it's true to me hello uh i literally just got here so we only the second drink in but baby compared to yesterday we was about 20 drinks in and girl my confession is actually from

last night and when I tell you clearly Alex know how to get down because the time was had we ended up at common ground great time I'm living my best life I'm like yeah I love the Hamptons I love the Hamptons I don't know how I got into the car but all I remember is being in that car waking up touching my head and feeling so damn ball-headed I started looking high and low. I'm looking for my purse. I'm looking for my wig. Apparently my wig was under the seat. Now shout out to that driver because I hope you didn't say nothing and if anything I hope you don't snitch on me. That's my confession. So basically I lost my wig in the car and my lashes. As you can see I have on mascara. I'm naturally an eyelash extension girl. That shit's gone. My nail is chipped.

I had a great time from what I can remember and clearly from what we can see. Hello. I don't have a sugar daddy experience, but I'm always looking. So slide into the DMs. Po' favor. Okay, where's the craziest place I've had sex? Mama, daddy, cover your ears, girl. Cover your ears.

Oh, girl, I don't know if I can say this. Is it legal? I don't know. The craziest say this is it legal i don't know the crazy well i was younger this is like college days from what i can think of at the top of my head i don't know if i can say this man um mind y'all i'm younger i'm a more mature woman now things have changed yeah that jc peenie's dressing room a time was had man oh lord back blown out but hey at least we purchased the jeans my boyfriend did get them jeans but yeah that was one of them crazy times that i don't even got no regrets but i wouldn't do that now don't be doing that now girl i feel like i need to go to um go to church gonna

repent of my sins if y'all got holy water spray something on me for favor and now i'm just gonna pass it to the next person for their confessional hopefully it's not as crazy as mine girl hi i'm double fisting hi my name is leah katab and i am an unknown amount of drinks in and i'm feeling ready and you're on sex hotline. No, I'm kidding. And you're on Leah's channel. My current relationship status is standing in front of me. No, I'm kidding. No, but y'all standing there. I do. I have a boyfriend. The weirdest date I've ever been on let me give you guys a backdrop this might take a second get comfortable I went on a date this guy he asked me out to Nobu and we went

out together and it was really good and this is actually fairly recent sorry Miguel but it was before we met anyways we went to Nobu he took me out it was really fun it was really cute we had a great time whatever he texted me after he was like I really like you blah blah okay cool fast forward two he was like I'm performing at Coachella you should come and I was like that would be so fun let's do it and he invites me to Coachella and then we go to Coachella and when I got there there was, there was like, it was a whole house. All of his friends were there. I was there as well. And then all of a sudden I stand in there and then this girl comes up to him and takes the blunt out of his mouth and starts smoking it with him. And I'm like, okay, interesting. I thought it was his auntie. Well, it just looked like his auntie, no shade.

And then we get in there and I'm sitting there and they're like, no, Ananti wouldn't touch him. Like she starts putting on a very see-through top. She starts doing her makeup more and she doesn't introduce herself to me. After I was like, hi, I'm Leah. So nice to meet you. She doesn't talk to me at all. Okay, cool. Anyways, fast forward.

Cool. After that, but he's being like, he's like, I'm so happy you're here. You look gorgeous. Blah, blah, blah. I asked my friend who's also his friend i'm like hey so who's that and i'm thinking oh that's his sister no weird shit because y'all sharing a blunt i don't smoke i don't i'm a very sober queen not right now well okay hold on hold, yes. All of the rest, boo. Say no to drugs. Dare sponsor me. Just kidding.

Oh, God. Am I bombing this? No, the way they're all sitting. Can we like pan the camera? Can we pan the camera the way they're all tuned in? I'm begging. Okay, anyways. the camera can we pan the camera the way they're all tuned in i'm begging okay anyways i asked my friend and i'm like okay is that your aunt is that his auntie and they were like no and i was like okay cool so who is she and they were like he invited her and i was like oh and then i find

out he invited both of us at the same time and i was like oh i'm so good off of that like you can have him and then that was the last time we spoke but now he begging for that shit back obviously duh but i'm good anyways that was my worst first date and my name is leah katev and you're watching unwild and i'm passing it to the next guest. Shit. It's my turn on the mic now. Hey, my name is Miguel.

And I'm on my one, two, three, four, five, six, seventh drink. I'm pretty sure I'm feeling really good. The fact that I've got a mic right now and I'm feeling this good is crazy the fuck am i doing here my relationship status i'm taken i'm out of the streets you cannot have me my confession is fuck what's my confession the biggest party file i've ever committed i boom so i'm in college right college is different to your college. My college is before university. So this is just before university. I'm at this house party. Everyone from my school was there. There was this one girl I was interested in. So the party's been good. I've got a couple of drinks in me. I'm in turning up. I'm with my man, them. I'm with the people, them. You know, we're having a vibe. We're turning up, we're getting lit, and then my boys decide, yo, this girl, she's kind of interested in you, you've been interested in her, let's put you

in a room along with each other, so you guys can get to know each other, I've been yakked up, bro, I've got drank in me, tequila, vodka, henny, all of that shit, it's in my system, there's a party going on in my bladder right now, And my bladder can't take it. So she's there. We're on the bed. We're talking. She's next to me. We're talking and shit.

She's asking me questions. I'm not processing them questions because my body is fucked right now. I'm trying to keep my shit in. She's jabber, jabber, jabbering. I'm listen, listen, listening. And the alcohol is trying to alcohol out of my system in so i'm confused why he's speaking while i'm not here all right right so boom this is the this is the thing come come come come come come i heard she no yeah yeah so this is this is bad

this is bad this is worse than what happened i'm not believe i'm saying this on camera wait give me my cred for being able to say this on camera because it's bad i'm drunk in the house party and my boys decided to lock me in the fucking room with this one girl that i was interested in at the time i'm sorry. So she's talking to me, right? I'm fucked up. I'm drunk. I can't hold my liquor in. I don't drink like that. I don't drink. You know what I'm saying?

I'm a sober boy. So boom. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Anyways, so she's talking to me. I'm listening, trying to keep myself composed. I say, yeah yeah As I say yeah

I go huh I'm like nah I get up I go to the toilet I start spewing In the fucking toilet Me and this girl Were in the fucking bedroom

For five minutes I don't even know If it was five minutes Less than five minutes I'm throwing up On the toilet This girl comes in. What the fuck?

Anyway. But anyway. Leeha. Okay. Who the fuck snorted behind the camera, blab? Shame on you. Shame on you, blab. Oi, that's how you know it was not meant to be.

Because a man is talking to this girl. He threw up in front of me. And I threw... She, you know what's mad? She threw up in front of me. Let me say that again. She threw up in front of me. It was a bonding experience. I love it.

Do you wanna get into that? No. Cause her one is bad. So the moral of the story is, don't drink if you're trying to get to know a girl. And if you are, listen, if you're trying to wingman your boy, don't put him in a room with a girl when he's fucked up.

Because that's the worst thing you could ever do. Because I never really spoke to that girl again on the same level. Because we was heading there and it didn't happen. Thank God it didn't happen because I never would have met this princess. It never would have worked out anyways. She wasn't my type.

Look at you pushing my face. What was that? What was that? All right, all right, all right, all right. And on that note, we better go to our room. So see you later. No, we're not. My best friend is behind the camera.

I don't mind the audience. I do. Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about ever. Only I do. I listen to the cast now. So, relax yourself. I'm double fisting.

Relax. We're passing it over to the next guest. Why can't you double fist it? Baby girl, do not say that to me. Next guest, come over to the next guest why can't you double fist it baby girl do not say that to me next guest come over to the couch it's always been my fucking dream i can leave no you should stay no i don't know i don't know what i'm doing what are we even doing okay hi hi everyone hi noah and i are saying hi to them not me i'm not everyone no I'm saying hi to you. Hi, also. Okay, so the people that were just on the couch earlier are having sex in the bungalow.

It's kind of hot. Kind of. No! Not Miguel and Leah over here. Feeling themselves. I don't even know what's happening. I don't even know why I'm on this couch. Okay, Noah.

Hi. Yes, Leah, I'm not doing anything right now. Get the fuck out of here. Where are you going? There is a bed to the left, you two. Oh, is there? Yeah. You two go to the left.

You go to the left. Okay. Get it. Okay. We are going to now give you a little ASMR with, and this is actually a controversial topic. Is it Noah Centineo or Noah Centennial? Noah Centennial.

I have always said it right, but to all of our bitches on Instagram saying Noah Centennial, it's Noah Centennial. Cut that shit out. Cut that shit. Read this card. Hi, my name is Noah. I'm, I'm, uh, I'm zero drinks in and feeling terrified. Zero?

What happened to you? Zero? What happened to you? He said. What happened to us? Zero! What happened to you? What happened to us? We were standing up and we were clothed earlier and now we're naked and fucking disturbed. No! Okay, I'm... Wait, wait, wait!

And by we, I mean you and Miguel. Obviously. No, first of all. No one's having sex. Second of all... No one's having sex. Just like a dry hump. No, it wasn't dry humping. Second of all... Hello. Third of all. He's so boring I had to join. Thank you. I don't know why he's saying he had zero drinks. I watched him I think it was why I watched him

literally drink seven shots Three cocktails talking about yourself, babe. There's three months ago. You saw me three months ago My care he threw up before this interview my current i threw up at the end we agreed we weren't going to talk about that my relationship uh single my current relationship status is single okay and my confession is can i pick the one you do yeah yeah yeah actually sure i don't know if i have a story for it no you have weird fun stories no the first time I met you,

your couch was made for 15 people to sleep at your own home, and I asked you what kind of... Wait, no. We're trying to make you brand new. Wait, how did... I was going to say what kind of... Cut, cut, cut.

That was the last episode. You have a word. That was the last episode of Confession. Let's go! Fucking do it! Come on. I'm ready. I'm all amped up now.

Go. Yeah. Look at Miguel sitting on the bed being like, I have a boner. You just left me. Now you're doing an interview. I love leaving guys with boners and nothing to do with it. And guess what? We can do it better than you guys can do it for us.

Give him a fucking question. She doesn't even want me to talk right now because she knows that's not fucking true. Listen. Facts. If anyone's going to get left a boo balls, it's this one over here. I've heard you're doing just fine to her. My friend is fulfilled. You're doing a great job, Miguel.

I know. I've heard great things. I want to know this just because I feel like you would have a funny story for this. Have you ever fully fled a hookah? Why? I got a crazy story and it's definitely a confession, but it's kind of gnarly. All right. When I was 17 years old, I was 17 years old. I was a virgin and I lost my virginity at 18, by the way. Late bloomer. And I said... Aw.

Dude. Fucking twins. That's very... That's very demure. Very demure. Very classy. Very respectful. Did I get it?

No, I said it wrong. Demure. Demure. He said very demure. Very demure. Very dem wrong. Demure. He said very demure. Very demure. Very demure. Very not demure to say demure. Demure.

Don't. So I'm 17 years old and it's New Year's Eve and I dropped off an ex-girlfriend that had come over to hang out with me and family. Why? I don't know. I think I was trying to set her up with my best friend at the time and she was not taking it so then it was after new year's eve so we get in an uber i take her back to her hotel i get back in the car and i start going back to the house that i originally was at and on the way i saw a woman standing on the side of the street i was by the way like 17 and two solo cups of rum down like wasted like

completely gone and i'm in this truck going down the street i see her and she's kind of going like this like trying to get the attention and so i said to the uber driver i'm like yo my man pull over really quick pull over really quick by this woman and he's like okay what i might pull over so he pulls over you're 17 17 and i put the window down and i'm like hey and before I could say anything she just goes are you my ride and I was like I can't it's like by the way it's like one o'clock in the morning New Year's Eve and I was like uh yeah I mean I can't be where are you going and she goes oh I'm going to Ocean Park and I was like all right word hop in that's on the way home so she gets in the let me point out he's giving free Uber rides

yo you you heard it here first Noah Centineo gives free Uber rides Noah is giving free Uber rides and so she gets in the car and I'm like what's your name and she goes you don't need to know my name and I'm no that's right

it's giving it's giving it's giving mystery. It's giving... It's giving noir. Yeah, it's giving something. Something is being given. So she's like, what is your name? And I'm like, my name's David. Which was a lie.

Because she didn't tell me her name. I'm like, oh, alright. I don't even know your name, you don't have to know mine either. I didn't know, I thought that's how... Like, she's an adult. You know, I was like, is this how we do things? Do we just, like, not tell it? Do we just lie?

So we pull up to her place. It's, like, beach town-y, like, little bungalows. And so we pull up to one of those bungalows. She gets out, and she turns around. I'm like, all right, have a good night. And she goes, you're not coming in? Her. And I was like, and I looked right at the uber driver and he looked up in the rear

view mirror because like he knew i was a kid and then i looked at him and i was like i was like yeah all right and then he turns around like yo are you and i was like i'm fine leah did you just say if you're not going in i'm going in that uber driver's like my dick is ready said hello if you're not going i am mama give me that 20 five that 20% five-star tip, baby. Let's go. No, that's right. He said, I'm going to deliver. Why am I on this couch? Because I did my confession. I did Mikkel's confession. And now I'm doing fucking Noah's confession.

And now she's done with Noah's confession. She's done. Let's go. Come on, Donna. She's done. She's done. So I'm nervous. She opens the front door. She walks in and immediately on the floor in the living room, I see a Thomas the Train carpet.

Oh, God. So I'm like, oh, she's with child. She's with child. She has multiple children. I hope there's not a child in the place. This is now even weirder. It was already kind of weird, but now it's real and it's getting interesting. She goes, do you want a nightcap?

I'm like, no, I've had way too much. And she goes, interesting she goes do you want a nightcap i'm like no i've had way too much and she goes i'm gonna make you a nightcap so she made me a gin and tonic and she forgot to put gin in it but i'm like i guess this is what we do as adults like i guess you like pretend we pretend we lie about our names we lie about the alcohol in our cups we just lie we lie we lie so long story short like like we go into her bedroom and we start talking and then we start kissing i just pick her up and i threw her on the bed keep in mind virgin like had never done any like i like have like you know you know did things but never had sex we know at this point are you at all thinking like oh my god i'm about to lose my virginity to the woman that i picked up on the side of the road that's a 30 year old woman that

won't tell me her name. And there's Thomas. This is such a funny story. Like, this is so funny. Oh, my God. Look at me. I'm being so funny right now. That is Noah. You know, like, oh, there's like an older woman and this is great.

And this is actually such a story. And so, like, we start doing all these things. We started making out. And then, like, I kind of get hit. Sorry. With this, like, reason. I don't know. You know, when you're super drunk and then finally, like, reason smacks you in the face.

You're like, oh, I'm present now. And I just go, fuck, maybe I should, like, do a little push-up and just, like, see what this person looks like and what's going on. So I push up and I look at her and I realize she's, like, 40-something. Oh. She's a little bit older. Okay. Which is fine. Yes.

But you're 17 17 you haven't not only was i right not only was i hit with this realization that like she was much older and like i just got hit with this the reality of what i was doing and i went oh no i need to go so i just went i have to go and i got up and she was like what and she grabbed the blanket she like pulled in front of herself she was like what are you talking about and i was like, what? And she grabbed the blanket. She pulled it in front of herself. She was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, it's a story. Tell your friends. And I grabbed my stuff and I ran three miles home.

Noah. Like 1.30, 2 o'clock in the morning. Okay, this is a story that he, so you didn't lose your virginity that night. No. You stayed a 17-year-old young boy, still with fresh eyes, bushy-tailed. And he didn't have sex with the 40-year-old woman. But he did save a woman off the street that night. I did get her home safe.

And this is the story from Noah about how to be a good person. This is my confession. We're passing it to the next guest. Let's go. Okay, hello everyone. I'm Marie Georges. I have had about like four drinks plus maybe like five shots and I'm feeling great. I'm feeling fantastic. I'm having so much fun. Got to meet so many girls. I'm loving life right now. Canadian bitch in the USA. My current relationship status is single, whatever, and I'm gonna be 30 in like a couple days. So let's just not remind me how single I am. My confession is I like someone who doesn't even know me yet.

Just shh, doesn't matter about that. Tell me the time about how you were fully delusional about a man. How about right now where I feel like the man that doesn't know me is gonna love me? We'll keep it about that. Tell me the time about how you were fully delusional about a man. How about right now where I feel like the man that doesn't know me is gonna love me? We'll keep it at that. Have you ever tried to really impress someone only for it to be a total flop?

No. I'm such a straight shooter in who I am as a person that I've never had to change who I was to try to impress someone. I've always been like, if you're gonna like me, you're gonna like all of who I really am. I'm not gonna like give you surprises later on. Take it or leave it. That's just how I've always been. Has someone ever told you that they loved you and you didn't say it back? No. I mean, I've had people tell me that they're very into me and

like, whatever. Maybe they've said I think only time, how can I say this nicely? I've had guys confess their love for me and I was not at the same spot as them and that can get hard. But no, I'm gonna be honest. No, no one has ever said like, I love you where I was like, I don't feel the same because I don't think I would ever let a guy feel

like they can say that they love me because I feel like that would be like really leading someone on. I just don't do that. I don't entertain people that I don't give a fuck about. On that note, I love you guys. Bye. Hi, I'm Owen Thiel. I am six drinks in. And I'm feeling really blackout drunk. I should only have one drink. I'm a lightweight. So this is not going to go well And I'm feeling really blackout drunk. I should only have one drink. I am a lightweight. So this is not gonna go well. I'm from Los Angeles, unfortunately. My current relationship status is,

I'm like basically married, but he won't propose. So if you're watching this, get a ring. Love a diamond, big one. And my confession is, I still have my ex's Instagram password and I do still check the DMs. 10 years with my current boyfriend and I'm still checking my ex's DMs. Keep drinking, you guys. Tell me a time about you were fully delusional about a man. Okay. My best friend had a boyfriend who I thought was in love with me. And like, I swore like he was looking at me like every time we would go out he would stare at me

in my head he was infatuated with me he was obsessed with me and I had to break it to my best friend that he was probably gay because my best friend was a girl and so one day I sat her down and I said I just want to let you know Michael is not straight she said what do you mean what what have you seen what what's up I said I said, I've experienced it firsthand. He's obsessed with me. He's completely in love with me. And I just needed to tell you now so you didn't continue on this road. Obviously he was straight and just thought I was weird and thought I was like way too much, too extra. So he would look at me as I was telling these insane stories and be like, who the fuck is this? You know what I mean? He wouldn't look at me like he was obsessed with me. He would look at me like, you're an alien.

Go back to Mars. And she told him that I told him this and now they don't speak to me because they think I was like trying to steal him, which by the way, I was. He's so hot. Okay. Now I'm going to pass.

I'm so drunk. I'm hearing voices that I can't concentrate. Okay. Now I'm going to pass this to the next to the. I'm so drunk. Now I'm going to pass this to the next... I'm so drunk. Now I'm going to pass this to the next guest. Cheers. Hi, my name is Dana.

Hi, my name is Jess. And we have a pretty big confession to spill if you want to take it away, Dana. My high school ex-boyfriend cheated on me a lot. It's true. I was his best friend. It's true. I can confirm.

When he cheated on me, probably the fifth time I was his best friend it's true I can confirm when he cheated on me probably the fifth time I made him a grinder account it's true and I had to ask you for the email I provided the email yes so sorry sorry for all the men hitting you up hopefully it subsided by now and that's my confession we're passing it to the next guest hi my name is hallie batchelder i'm about seven drinks in right now and guys i'm feeling fucking fuzzy i'm feeling warm and i'm feeling curious i'm not gonna lie okay i'm from boston massachusetts but i live in new york right now my current relationship status is single so single kind of sad honestly the fall is gonna be really lonely whatever okay my confession is last week i went on the first date and honestly we had oysters as the appetizer so i'm gonna like blame

the oysters because it's like an aphrodisiac he fucked me in the ass i'm not gonna lie and i liked it i hope they put this in have i ever fucked multiple people in one night there's so many answers to this question yes is the immediate answer i mean like are we talking about threesome production wait in college there was one night so i was on like the basement floor of my building that's where i lived i used to like fuck this guy that lives in the basement but i also fucked this guy living on the third floor and like they were friends in the same frat they found out about each other i'm just a girl guys i don't know like i don't know what to do like like they were both hot like what like i'm gonna say no i don't know how to say no i'm working on it and wait there was one time where the guy on the third floor came down to the

basement and walked in on me and the guy in the basement and then that's when the whole thing was debunked it was bad it was bad for my brand but also good for the brand at the time have i ever dabbled with the sugar daddy i don't know if he was daddy status he was like i mean he was like probably 13 years older than me but he used to spend like a daddy honestly i don't need men for their money like i come from money so like it like doesn't bother me so like when guys like think i need them for their fucking bag i'm like get be fucking for real for a second I don't need your fucking pockets he was probably 36 I was 23 which to me was a daddy but he used to go out to a restaurant we'd get drinks say it was like two margaritas he would always be like should I tip a thou should I

tip a thou and I'd be like yes tip a thou and then fuck me sideways okay i have a funny story actually about the sugar daddy so he was in london one night and he facetimed me he had ghosted me for like three weeks so he finally picked up the phone and i was like okay hi i'm thinking about get my moves done and he was like i'll pay for them whatever i'll so him and his best friend vamo would be for my tits they like both think they own my tits little did they know my dad and my mom was like if you pass your real estate licensing exam like i had no job at this point so like if you pass your real estate license you get it like we'll pay for that surgery pass it in two weeks and then i pocketed the money that that guy gave me and then had amazing

rack after that wait when i was 15 my mom walked in i'm getting fucked in the ass on a pull-out bed in aruba is that real can i see that hold on trauma and that's tea don't cut that honestly so the weirdest thing anyone's asked me to do in bed he didn't even ask me honestly he really wanted to have a threesome with me i was like okay like i'm down like i've had threesomes before like i would do it this man was fucking me and then he put on porn on the sonos surround sound so it sounded like 19 bitches were in the room like not even surround sound justin's like specific bedroom like he was like living in a share house at the time so like with like four other guys this surround sound was like in every

room of the fucking house in the bathroom in the living room in the kitchen people were like cooking baking like you would hear porn that's probably the weirdest thing that anyone's i've let anyone do in the bedroom yeah give me the you do you have a good side i literally texted i'm like where are you hallie i missed you i couldn't be out there without you hello i'm maria georges yes that's about it what is your most embarrassing sexual mishap what the fuck does that even mean like i don't i don't even get the question mishap like did you fall off the bed oh did you get like a black eye swear to god i've never backflipped where i didn't catch myself well i just had surgery last week because sexual injury

do tell i was having sex with this guy and like i also just got my veneers done so my mouth is like a traumatic place right now so this guy bit down my lip and like you have like a bunch of saliva glands in your lip that produce saliva yeah he fully collapsed the glands so like my mouth was producing saliva but i know where to go so it's like pooling wait what because he bit you so hard that you had surgery yeah so what'd you do with the guy i think he's coming tonight have any of your friends ever tried to steal a guy you were talking to they wouldn't even try to do that i actually have a fucking story about this and i never thought i would tell this story your friends ever tried to steal a guy you were talking to they wouldn't even try to do that i actually have a fucking story about this and i never thought i would tell this story no this

actually pisses me off it brings me back to a dark place listen to this you ready for this so my ex fucking cheats on me right and i break up with his ass so how tall was he fucking fucking 5 10 yeah that's my point but yeah i know he he cheated on me blah blah but he was known in toronto oh fuck here we go again the fucking poor guy is gonna get shit on for call her daddy and now shit on for this fucking shit he basically made a video with the girl that he cheated with then this girl comes up to me she's like oh my god i knew you from your ex like i love you like and was like supporting me and be like you're you know you're so much better than him blah blah let's go have drinks we go have drinks. We go out and have drinks.

We became friends. She's confessing her shit about her ex, and I'm helping her through her breakup. Is she hot? She's not bad. Oh, fuck. No, bitch. Listen, I call a spade a spade.

I think all girls are beautiful. But I'm not going to say the bitch is ugly. She's not. No. But she's opening up to me about how I'm this amazing girl, and she wants to confide in me about her ex. Oh, you are. And it turns out then, okay, ready this?

Are you guys ready for this? Actually, it kind of fucked up. Production, are you ready? She reaches out to me. She goes, I'm going on a trip. But I want to let you know. She literally calls me. She goes, I want to let you know I heard that your ex might be on this trip.

But, like, not with us. But he might be there. We might actually hang out because old friends are mutual friends. I go, okay, go off, sis. Go get some free fucking drinks. I don't give a shit. Like go off, like use him for what he's worth. It turns out it was a fucking double date trip.

She was planning to be there to meet my ex to go on a fucking date. No. It was a fucking double date trip. It was just her, her friend who was dating my ex's friend. And then she was there to meet my ex to be on a double date trip it was just her her friend who was who was dating the my ex's friend and then she was there to meet my ex to be on a double date trip with him i fucking if you guys saw the text we have to kill her whole family she pleaded for forgiveness and i said you you confided in me about your ex and i was there for you and you're out here on a trip fucking mine

fuck you what fuck him like she needs to be 50 what i can never do that to someone that i hate it imagine someone that you actually like too much dick out there for like there'd be like girls like hot girls arguing over like do you want to want to hear something funny okay but then i heard a story that so apparently my ex farted in the bed with her and she cried and was like why would you fart and he's like bro i'm just fucking farting what the fuck and apparently they fought over a fart i swear to god bro i wish i was making this shit up this is what i thought this is what i heard about what their fights were about about farting anyways i wish i could make this up i wish i wish this was a joke because now i sound

like an idiot for a guy for me dating a guy who farts in bed he's 5'10 we have to go back to that um let's just have a moment of silence for Halle and Maria the duo we didn't know we needed the duo that maybe together they could ruin well they're already ruining lives in a beautiful way separately so coming together it's like men be fucking terrified when they're together. I love them so much. We had truly the best time partying together. That was overall just like a wild watching experience and seeing it all back. I'm not going to lie. I was a part of some of them as you saw, but a lot of these confessionals, like I wasn't in the room for like Kiera's JCPenney story I will never drive past another department store specifically wait is JCPenney even still in business I don't know regardless Kiera you're a living legend

and I love you um so casual Queen Leia just like yeah so my first date is at a Coachella thing with a performer casual we're all jealous of all jealous of you. I love you. Miguel, he's top tier comedy. So thank you for showing up, Miguel, and giving us a fabulous story. That was phenomenal. Also, Leah and Miguel, you guys are so fucking cute watching you all weekend. I was like, keep doing what you're doing, sweetie. Can we talk about Noah Centineo for a second? Coming out of the woodwork, coming to an unwell event, I saw all of your comments in my DMs being like, where has he been? He's home. He was on Call Her Daddy this week. And we love you, Noah. Thank you for coming on, Owen. Owen, my friend, Owen. Let me

just say I had the best time with you and your boyfriend this weekend. But I am so fucking jealous of you. You being the nosy, beautiful sleuth that you are. I would do the same thing if I had my ex's passwords. Okay. And so we're all jealous of you. Love you. And daddy gang coming in hot, popping in for a little call her daddy episode. This was truly so fun to relive. And I'm so happy that we tried this new format. I'm obsessed with reality TV. So I thought it was fun. And I'm happy that I got to, I'm happy. I got to share a little taste of this party with you guys. Summer is officially coming to an end and I really wouldn't have wanted to close out any other way and with any other people. So with that said, I guess I will leave you with this. I wonder where the next Unwell event will be.

Stay tuned and maybe I'll see you there. See you fuckers next Wednesday. Love you. Bye.