Call Her Daddy - The Post Malone Experience
Episode Date: August 2, 2023Join Alex as she travels to Boston to attend the Post Malone concert, sit down for an interview and get her ass kicked in beer pong. Post opens up about his childhood and how the bullying he endured h...as shaped his commitment to living a life of kindness. He offers a glimpse into his notoriously private life and opens up about his biggest insecurities and his fears when it comes to parenting. Post spills the details on how he proposed to his fiancée and reveals what his dream wedding would look like. With no topic off limits, he talks about losing his virginity, joining the mile high club, and even shares his go-to porn search words. Post dives into the creative process behind his newest album and to top it off takes the Daddy Gang along for a front-row seat at his concert.Â
Transcript
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Hi Daddy Gang! I am currently in Boston, okay? And I'm on my way to the Post Malone concert.
And I figured I don't want to go alone. I would love for you to come with me. That's why I got us this limo.
But if we're gonna go to his concert, I don't know, I just figured maybe we should also interview him?
You wanna come? Let's get into it.
What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.
The man of the hour. Hi, everybody.
Come take a seat. Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much. I'm going to give you a little hug before. I would absolutely love one.
Just because, you know, good vibes. How are you doing?
I'm amazing.
I guess I should say, Post Malone, welcome to Call Her Daddy.
Well, thank you for having me.
I am so happy to be here.
It's very exciting for me.
I've always wanted to meet you.
Yes, ma'am.
You have a fabulous vibe.
Thank you very much.
We are currently in your dressing room, backstage.
You're going to perform tonight.
We are in Massachusetts, a little outside of Boston.
Yes, ma'am.
Do you have any connection to Boston?
Do you have friends in Boston?
I have a lot of Patriot fans as friends.
Well, friends is a very loose term,
I suppose.
Oh, yeah.
Are you friends with Tom Brady?
Is that what you're saying?
No, no.
Just Patriot fans.
He's a very sweet guy,
but a lot of people on the team
are for some reason
New England Patriot fans. Oh, I love that guy, but a lot of people on the team are for some reason New England Patriot fans.
Oh, I love that.
It's all right, I guess.
It's good.
I don't know.
You don't like the Pats?
No, ma'am.
No, ma'am.
So respectful.
No, ma'am.
I fucking hate them, ma'am.
I actually went to college in Boston.
I haven't been back since graduation, so it's kind of like a pretty surreal moment for me.
If I knew in college I was ever going to interview you, I probably would have shit my pants.
Cool. I did shit my pants today.
Oh, you did?
I wanted to say also thank you for coming. I know you have a very busy schedule too,
so I appreciate you coming.
Thank you. No, I appreciate you.
And I appreciate you waiting as well.
I'm here drinking and relaxing. It's good.
It's good vibes.
So as I was getting ready for this interview, I was like, okay, I know you typically go by Post.
But you have a new album out called Austin.
Yes, ma'am.
Which is your first name.
Yes, ma'am.
So what's the vibe?
Do you want to start going by Austin now?
My football coaches used to call me Posty.
And that's kind of where that started.
You can call me whatever you want, except late for dinner.
Late for dinner.
That's like my most old man joke of all time.
That's like a joke from like the 20s.
It's like a Dust Bowl joke. I'm not going to lie.
It took me like two seconds to register the joke, and now I get it.
And so now I'm going to laugh after.
The thing is there's no joke, really.
Comedy was different. No, no, no. It's great comedy. I appreciate it. And so now I'm going to laugh after. The thing is, there's no joke, really. Comedy was different. No, no, no, no. It's great comedy. I appreciate you. No, that's interesting.
So I was talking to someone that's on your team and he was like, yeah, like sometimes like I'll
call him Austin when we're more private vibe and then post when it's more like he's Post Malone.
He's out there. Oh, you talk to people from the team? Oh, I've been like interviewing everyone
about you. I'm getting all the tea posts. I'm getting all the vibe. That's terrible.
So do you think like is Austin and Post Malone the same person or is Post kind of like an alter ego?
I think it's weird to think about.
I think it's everything is me.
You know, everything is me.
My name's Austin.
Everyone calls me Austin.
Whenever I introduce myself, I always say Austin.
I think because I got Post Malone from just putting my name in a rap name generator like in high school.
That is what we need to clarify.
So when I was researching, I was like, hold on.
Your actual last name is Post, which I don't think everyone knows.
So it's Austin Post.
So you put Post as the first. And you're saying you put into a random generator and you think everyone knows. So it's Austin Post. So you put Post as
the first and you're saying you put into a random generator and you got Malone. Yes, ma'am. It just
gave me the name and I said, you know, that does sound cool. And so I did it. I want to name like
Wiz Khalifa, but it's not nearly as cool as Wiz Khalifa, but it's like it has two words. So it's
kind of like Wiz Khalifa. Yeah, it's pretty unique. So you're on tour, obviously. That's where we are right now.
How is tour going for you?
It is amazeballs.
It's my first tour with a band.
Okay.
So I'm having so much fun. I'm so excited.
And for the longest time, it would just be me on stage running around.
And it was very lonely up there.
And so now I can look around.
And if, like, I fuck up or anything, I just be like, hey, stop.
And then the crowd would be like, oh, it wasn't him.
You know?
So that's, like, kind of.
You're like, I can blame it on everyone else.
It's not my fucking fault.
I fall on my face.
You're like, my fucking guitarist tripped me.
What the hell happened
what's this guitar so what inspired you to name the tour if y'all weren't here i'd be crying
this is true for the most part no not really not anymore i'm actually so happy now it's super
interesting being out on tour for a long time because for a long time we
just ran around the world especially when i was you know like younger and i could and before
covid and all that stuff and now i'm being back out on tour is hard because i'm old or i feel old
at least i'm a dad i'm 28 I just turned 28. That's all.
Whenever I started, I was 19.
And I was like, everybody's like, oh, he's like 20 years old.
And I'm like, yeah, that's, yeah.
But now I'm like 28 and no one cares.
I love that.
We're the same age.
So am I old?
No, ma'am.
I feel like 28.
We're like just getting to our prime, no?
You're tired. I'm super tired.
And going on tour, now my knees click.
Said she tired, little money, need a big board.
Pull up 20 inch blades like I'm Lil' Troy.
Now it's everybody flocking, need a decoy.
Shorty mixing up the vodka with the licorice.
We can get you a little brace.
There's a bunch of stuff.
Yeah, I mean, I would love, I wanted to go
Stone Cold Steve Austin double leg braces
because it's so sick looking.
And I wear jorts every show.
So it's like perfect.
The jorts stop and then the knee brace begins. And then the knee brace begins.
And you're like, why does he wear those?
I don't know, but it looks cool.
I think the more shit that like WWE wrestlers put on.
Yeah.
I'm like, whoa, they must have like, they've been through some shit.
I feel like you're the only person that could pull off jorts and knee pads or like knee brace vibe.
If I did knee pads, that would be badass.
And I want to like, because sometimes I'll hurt my hand because I'm a dumbass and I play in my garage and like stab myself with a knife on accident.
Yeah.
And then I have to like wrap my hand and I'm like, oh, I'm so cool.
I love it.
Okay, so I hope next time I see you, you're going to be wearing that shit.
Yes, ma'am.
That didn't answer your question at all, by the way.
It's okay.
I don't care if we swerve.
Like, who gives a shit?
We're here to have a good time, okay?
We're getting you ready for your concert.
Yes, ma'am.
What is on your rider?
And actually, can you explain what a rider is?
Because some people may have no fucking idea what that means.
Yes, ma'am.
So there's many schools of thought here.
I actually don't know how to spell writer i don't know if it's
writer or writer um and i think that's kind of like where the two schools like disagree
and then but there's a lot of different arguments that can sprout out of that conversation we won't
go there um but um a writer is a list of stuff that you like that I guess make you feel at home whenever you're not. So list us yours.
Come on. The thing about
my writer is
it's not updated.
I still get candies that
I don't like.
It's not that I don't like, but
for the longest time we had gummy bears like
Haribo gummy bears, which are fine, but
if you eat them every day for like
two years straight, I want Black Forest gummy bears, which are fine. But if you eat them every day for like two years straight.
Yeah, tastes like medicine.
I want Black Forest gummy bears.
I want to switch it up.
But for now, we have Red Cups.
I got to look over there.
We have Emergency.
Post, why don't you just read?
What do you like?
What do you wish was in here?
I prefer on my writer like a stack of like a million dollars cash.
Yeah.
Would be very bitchin'.
They don't give a shit about you, I guess.
That's what I heard.
Old man vibes.
Like, it's over.
Like, you're like, I gotta go home.
His knees click.
We don't fucking care.
You're like, as long as I'm singing.
Just eat the fucking Harry Potter gummy bears.
Do you think you're high maintenance or low maintenance?
I consider myself low maintenance, I think.
Do you think if I asked your team, they would agree?
Yes.
Yes.
I think so.
I don't know because at the core of everything, I'm super simple.
I need a beer.
I need cigarettes.
And I need two hours in the bathroom to answer emails.
That's it.
That's all I need, I think.
Wow.
And then a little bit of beer pong.
But I will say something I'm a little bougie about is I need good cups and balls.
Okay.
Like very specific cups and balls because the way in a lot of the, you know, there's a lot of different cups and balls out there.
Yeah.
And sometimes they'll try to skimp out on the cups, and that's when I've had enough.
You take your beer pong very seriously.
Yes, ma'am.
And I've gotten worse as I've gotten.
I used to be so good.
Yeah, I was talking to Bobby, and he was like, you know, he's so fucking good.
You're bad now?
Yeah, I'm bad now.
I feel like that's also a facade.
I'm so bad now.
You're saying that, and then we're going to go in there, and we're going to go in there and you're going to be playing and you're going to be better than everyone.
Are you superstitious before you go on stage?
Like, is there anything specific you have to do where you're like, holy fuck, my day is ruined?
Answering the emails is very important.
Tonight, Noah's coming out.
Oh, well, this is
in the future. It's fine, yeah.
In Boston, Noah Khan came out
and we were talking about
inventing
diapers for performers
because you never know you hit the wrong move
and it just it's Vesuvius yeah it's gonna go yeah it's apocalypse it's Yellowstone level
eruption sometimes does that happen to you often no it's never happened to me let's just make this
very clear it's never I want to look at every camera and say it's never happened to me
but if it does happen that's happen, that's a nightmare.
Yeah.
That's like a nightmare.
One could assume that you would since you were like, I've been really thinking about inventing these diapers.
As if this is like a serious sewage problem for you where you're like just letting it rip.
Well, then there's the whole thing because then think of what I could do with that two hours.
Okay.
Sometimes I'll bring a guitar in there.
Sometimes I'll – I mean in there. Sometimes I'll...
I mean, all the best lyrics are written on the shitter.
100%.
Yeah, can we clarify for a minute?
What I've heard is you do some of your
best songwriting on shrooms
and on the toilet.
Well, that's what I was going to say.
Let's talk about it.
Are you taking shrooms
and then camping out in the bathroom
like are these two things together or are they kind of like separate ventures they are separate
ventures but i've never even thought about it that way because they do kind of i've had some
of the meanest shits in my entire life off the shrooms and just beer it's because it'll be like
like whenever i was a kid too it'd be like beer and shrooms for just beer. It's because it'll be like, like whenever I was a kid too,
it'd be like beer and shrooms for like four days
and not eating anything.
And I will be like,
guys, I'm gonna die right now.
You're just shitting your brains out.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Skinny legend.
You're like, it all just caught me.
I lost like 10 pounds from this one trip once.
Wow.
It's crazy because at one point
it just knocks on
fucking
hell's gate.
And you're like,
okay, we need to open
the floodgates now.
We need to take care of this.
This is a problem.
You keep talking about
doing emails.
Like, do you not have
someone to do your emails
for you?
Emails is just code
for shitting.
Answering emails is just
code for shitting.
Okay, I didn't know if
you're actually sitting
doing emails while
you're taking your shit.
Sometimes I'll answer some emails
On tour it's hard to like
Bring gaming consoles and stuff
And I'm a pretty huge pro gamer
So
I do a lot of online shopping
And everybody thinks every order I place is fake
But you're like really shopping in there
While you're shitting
It's me and then they call me
You put your name on the order.
I have to.
No, you don't.
Yeah, I do.
Because they call me and they're like, hey, we've had a lot of fraud.
And we want to say they even call me about my billing address not matching up with like my home address and stuff.
And I talk.
Little do they know.
I'm totally on the can.
And I have to run like a white noise machine or a little bit of water and i have to
specifically get up and turn it off and then sit back down just so they don't think like i'm in
and i know sometimes they can tell with like the reverb because what's interesting about a bathroom
you can definitely tell if you're on speakerphone you can definitely tell if someone's in the
bathroom and then in pictures for some reason if you send someone a picture, like a selfie while you're shitting, there's no way that you don't know they're on the toilet.
It's like an angle or something.
Are you often taking selfies while you're shitting?
No, but if I do.
Who would you send a selfie to while you were taking a shit?
I have a bunch of ex-SEAL buddies and ranger buddies
and they do it all the time. They're like,
hey, just take it as shit. What's poppin'?
And I'm like, alright, yeah, me too. You know what? Fuck it. Let's do it.
Yeah, it gives you a little extra hair on your chest.
You're like, I'm feeling myself and taking a shit.
This is kind of what boys do. This is what we do.
We send each other shitty selfies.
Yeah, I like that for you.
And then Dre will FaceTime, my manager
will FaceTime me or something
and I'll be like, hey, you know what? Hey, what's going on?
And he can definitely, you can definitely tell him FaceTime.
It's always such a pleasure to sit down with people because you never know where an interview is going to go.
And like what I love about Call Her Daddy is like usually it has one vibe.
But today it's like today we're talking about shit.
Yes, we are.
But it's comedy.
You're bringing the comedy.
I love it.
You can say this interview really went in the can.
It went in the can. Okay, it. You can say this interview really went in the can. It went in the can.
Okay, I want to take a step back.
Before you were Post Malone, you were just Austin.
What were you like as a kid?
Weird.
Weird.
Weird.
I've always been like, I don't know.
I've always been kind of an introverted kid, but then, you know, I loved Express.
I loved making music forever.
I loved playing games.
I loved hanging.
Like, I had a small group of friends.
We would just go over to my buddy's house every day
and just play games and stuff.
And I don't know.
Yeah.
Weird.
A little weirdo.
When you say you're a little weird back then,
is there, like, a memory or something,
like a story that comes to mind that you can help us
kind of describe you as a younger kid?
That's a hard question.
I remember I grew my hair long.
I wore the tightest crew jeans I could find.
And crew was the shit.
It was like the crews and the purple fallen shoes with the fat laces.
And I would go.
I don't know.
And then everybody started goodwilling and going to the stores to go grab old penny loafers and shit.
Yeah, thrifting.
Yeah, thrifting.
I don't know why I couldn't think of that word.
It's okay.
I got you. I'm here. Thank you very much yeah of course um but yeah we would just go run around
and play games and i don't know if there's a specific memory i know everybody's like oh i'm
quirky or i'm zany you know i'm wacky um but you're just like i was a weirdo i don't know i
was just me yeah that's the whole thing you You know, I moved when I was nine.
And then, like, I used to get bullied a whole bunch in school.
For what?
For, I guess, like, dressing the way I did and stuff. Because I was, like, we wore skinny jeans and all that stuff.
And that was, like, just, like, kind of a new deal.
Yeah.
And I don't know, but people would throw gum in my beautiful hair. I had beautiful
hair. I had to cut it
all off. You had to cut it off because there was so much
gum in your hair? No, no. There's way too much
gum in my hair. This is becoming
a problem. But I was safer.
I was safer because the gum
would harden. And so if I fell
off the skateboard or something, I would
be protected. Right. After class, Post would
have so much gum in his hair
because the entire class would throw gum.
And if you fell,
it was more of like a little rebound thing.
Like you were chill.
I was not throwing gum every day.
Okay, just occasionally.
Yeah, no, it was like,
oh, there's that fucker.
Let's hit him with the gum.
What is that, trident layers?
That's good shit.
That'll get stuck super good.
So you wore skinny jeans.
Do you think that was the gist of why you were getting bullied no i don't know i think it was always because i was
i always wanted to be myself i guess and uh we all know high school is super high school totally so
middle school high school and i when i was a kid too this didn't start me off good at all because i wore slacks and a dress shirt every day and
slicked my hair back because i saw my dad go to work and i was like you know what that dude's
cool as fuck so i want to do that too yeah i could see that like the kids be like why the
fuck are you wearing yeah yeah yeah because my dad does be like my dad's cool guys what the
fuck yeah and they're like well we're in fucking middle school in high school so like literally get it together i remember for one year my school tried
out a uniform and i was already gucci i was like i didn't have to change shit like this is great
i wake up and put this shit on a saturday motherfucker was like this is me this is my
these are my pjs dude it's so fucked how mean kids are at that age like i also got bullied and i've
talked about on my show but like people were so fucking mean and that like sticks with you and i feel like it's interesting because now
i feel like people know in the industry and just your fans like you are now known for having like
the sweetest kindest heart you're so sweet to people and i wonder like is is any of that because
you don't want people to feel the way that you were treated? Well, yeah, I always think about that too.
And I know, I think, like it keeps me up some nights.
It'll be like, say I was at dinner or something and I'm in the middle of taking a bite and someone will say, hey, can I have a picture with you?
And I'll be like, yeah.
And I'll get up and I won't be as energetic as I used to be
because I want to eat too, you know.
Yeah, of course.
And I always think and I'm like, man, I could have been so much kinder in that situation
and that kind of drives me nuts because I know how it feels to meet someone
and especially, I guess, someone that you either know from music
or someone that you really like their music or whatever.
And I know how that feels for them to be a total asshole.
And I never, that's kind of like what drove me, I guess.
I don't want anybody, it only takes one second out of your day to be nice.
Totally.
Yes, man.
Do you have any advice for anyone that is like,
damn, fuck post i relate to you
of like feeling like an outsider or feeling like maybe they don't fit in and they're kind of
getting bullied like do you have any advice any wisdom well i guess well i don't know about wisdom
um but yeah i mean coming coming from from from that and just really like you are so fucking cool
you are so fucking cool even if no one thinks are so fucking cool you are so fucking cool even if no
one thinks you're fucking cool you're super fucking cool i guess that's it i mean at the
end of the day you you're only one person your whole life and you should be able to express
yourself and live your life and do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as you're not hurting
anybody and a lot of people don't really understand that I guess especially it's hard being a kid
it's hard being a kid and I
I'm not going to say I understand
why kids bully people
but you know it's hard being a kid
and people go through
shit every day
and you know
just keep being yourself just keep being
fucking cool because you're fucking cool
and no one can tell you shit really
for example you're pretty fucking cool because you're fucking cool. And no one can tell you shit, really.
For example, you're pretty fucking cool. Thank you very much.
Look, no gum anymore.
No gum.
Shorter hair.
Shorter hair.
You're looking great.
Thank you very much.
Okay, I'm going to ask you some rapid fire questions.
Okay.
And Post, I want you to really just give me whatever comes to your mind and your heart
in this moment when I ask you this.
Okay.
Okay, here we go.
Who is your best friend in the industry?
Oh, shit.
Lewis Bell.
You have to get rid of one tat.
Which are you removing?
For my mommy, something on my face.
That's fair.
Hi, mom.
Hi, mom.
She's here tonight.
Oh, I need to meet her.
Lovely. Lovely. You're like, no. You can hang out with her as long as you want. Okay. Yes, ma' Hi, Mom. She's here tonight. Oh, I need to meet her. Lovely, lovely.
You're like, no.
You can hang out with her as long as you want.
Okay.
Yes, ma'am.
Okay.
What is something you used to be embarrassed about, but you don't give a shit about anymore?
My nipples.
Oh.
I have poofy nipples.
Poofy?
Mm-hmm.
That sounds cute.
It's not cute.
Oh.
Okay.
It's not cute.
It's not fucking cute, bitch.
They're tough.
They're tough.
Did you know they were puffy or did you get told they were puffy?
Yeah, they always gave me shit about that.
I never took my shirt off as a kid because I was like, man, my nipples are so puff.
I don't get why.
I don't understand this.
Oh, just a little puff daddy.
They're just, I'm puff daddy.
Okay.
That's how he actually got his name.
Have you seen his nipples?
He has Puffy Nipples.
You and Puff Daddy.
One thing in common, Puffy Nipples, bitch.
He's just way richer than me.
Stop.
Stop.
Okay, Puffy Nipples.
That's a great answer that I didn't anticipate.
This episode is going to be Post Malone featuring Puffy Nipples.
This is good.
Great rap.
That is good.
Okay.
Have you ever joined the Mile High Club?
Not all the way.
Huh.
Like a little finger bang or like you couldn't come?
Oh, no.
Definitely bust.
Is that a fine to say?
This is Call Her Daddy.
We talk a lot about sex here.
Okay.
Yeah, definitely bust. But no a fine to say? This is Call Her Daddy. We talk a lot about sex here. Yeah, definitely bust.
But no, like, coitus.
Okay.
Not full coitus.
Okay.
That's good.
This is good.
And here's the whole deal.
And I'll tell you why.
I know it's supposed to be rapid fire.
But I feel like the moment you get up on an airplane and go to the bathroom or, like, move around at all, that's when the turbulence starts.
Because I'll see somebody get up, i know they have they have the poop walk so i can tell they're gonna
be back there and i'm like get back in your seat it's so bumpy right now i know this is your fault
am i the only one that feels that way no no i i agree with you and i understand that have you
ever had the poop walk on the plane i have never shit on an airplane i have never either and you
know what i know it's kind of gross to talk about but this whole fucking episode is all shit um i
was on the airplane and i think there's nothing worse than when someone has gas on the airplane
and you're just like like clench it or do fucking something bro because it's reeking i'm not gonna
lie i definitely have farted real bad on the airplane before multiple times and i'm so
sorry to everyone that was on there they probably thought that fucker was going down because they're
like that's not like a natural smell so it's gonna be like jet fuel burning or something it's but i
i have never shit on the airplane either and i think it's like there is a level of controllability
in there you know what i mean but would you rather take someone take a shit or fart on the airplane
well you're the fucking culprit over here well you know what I mean? But would you rather someone take a shit or fart on the airplane?
Well, you're the fucking culprit over here. Well, you know, I feel like for a...
Well, look who we have here.
If it isn't Jet Fuel shitter on the airplane,
making everybody think it's going down.
No, I mean, I feel like during COVID even then,
we might not even have that problem,
so I'd let them rip all the fucking time.
You can't smell shit.
And if the N95s are that effective,
you shouldn't be able to smell my shitty farts.
They're not shitty, by the way.
Stinky farts.
Your little stinkers weren't getting through.
It's almost like the motherfuckers
that were wearing the ones that weren't that thick,
it's like, well, shame on you.
You deserve the farts.
Well, usually what I do,
you know, whatever area I'm in,
I kind of distribute the ones that are really powerful with the twisting filters.
So they're like really.
And I'll just say, hey, guys, this is just in case.
And then everybody's usually pretty receptive to it.
I appreciate the strategy you put into letting it go.
OK, what is your most toxic trait?
I have a bunch of those. What is your most toxic trait?
I have a bunch of those.
Share with the class.
Drinking.
Drinking.
And drinking and sometimes jealousy.
And I'm also sometimes, especially with my good friends, quick to anger, which is something I want to work on too. Jealousy as in
relationships? Yes, ma'am.
The fiance's like, I'm just
chilling in the room and you're like,
what are you doing?
You're giving a little jealous
vibes. I am right now?
No, no.
No, no.
I was asking.
I can tell you're so jealous.
Everybody's going to be jealous after watching this because they weren't as free with their fecal talk.
No, exactly.
You're just letting it rip, literally.
Okay, so you're jealous.
You're jealous with your woman a little.
Okay, but that shows you care.
Well, I guess that's...
A good way to look at it.
I guess that's a way to look at it.
She wouldn't say it.
Well, that's a good way to look at it. I guess that's a way to look at it. She wouldn't say it. Well, that's a good way to look
at it. I never, you know, necessarily
want to be mean, but I guess
that stems from a place of my own insecurity
and how insecure I am.
So that's...
Yeah, I don't know. Nothing
absolutely wild, but it's just like
you know, I just...
I want to feel loved.
You know what I mean?
I guess that's what it is. I get it.
Like many humans.
And you're drinking.
Are you working on it or you're like cool with it?
You just are aware.
I am working on it.
I used to drink because I was sad.
Now I drink for shows and because I'm happy.
It's hard getting out there and I get so shy and timid and shit.
So I just drink a little bit to, I guess, cope with that and be able to get my liquid courage, literally.
That's so interesting because I feel like when I see you on stage, especially online and TikToks, it's like, Post, you're busting out dance moves.
It's like you're just like in your own
world up there i would don't think anyone would think that you would be too shy to get up there
oh well that's you know that's yeah most definitely most definitely it's it's uh you
think these dance moves just these come they're conduited from a great drinker in the sky so yeah
you're like i'm actually just hammered and that's why i feel comfortable that's exactly in my jorts
that's exactly what it is, with my knee braces.
Exactly.
Please put those on before the show tonight.
What is a purchase you blew too much money on and regret?
Regret?
Or you blew too much money on and you're aware, but you don't give a fuck.
I bought the Lord of the Rings magic card.
Oh, do you want to tell me how much that was?
It was $2 million.
Don't make me regret it right now.
Oh, you were saying you don't regret it.
No, I definitely don't regret it.
Oh, where is it now?
It is, well, I guess right now, since this is in the future, I have it already.
Would you like to see it?
Oh, yes.
Can't wait.
Let's do it off camera.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Two million dollars on a fucking card.
Yes, ma'am.
Wow.
So you really like Lord of the Rings?
I like Lord of the Rings and Magic the Gathering.
Do you like Frodo?
I'm down with Frodo.
I think he's cool.
He's a flawed character, but we all are.
And I like his feet.
Oh. Not like in a sexy way, but I just think it's cool how he lets him he's walking around like the most treacherous place in the world in his bare feet
and i'm like that's fucking cool yeah i appreciate you clarifying because i think on this show people
would think you were like oh i jerk off to frodo's feet that's the vibe this show would give so it's
good you clarified answering emails can mean a lot of things. Exactly. Exactly. Okay, $2 million for a fucking car.
Damn.
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Fuck.
You can be honest.
What counts?
Putting your dick in something.
In the coochie?
In something?
Well, I didn't know.
Oh, okay.
In something.
A butt or a V?
It's a butt.
Well.
First heart.
Whoa. All right. All Well. First. Whoa.
All right.
All right.
Oh, fuck.
No, no, no.
Are you.
Do you like women specifically?
Yes.
Okay.
So.
So a V then.
A vagina.
Okay.
What's the first time you put your dick in a vagina?
I thought it was like.
Like.
Here's like.
Oh.
First time for anal.
And I'm like.
Whoa.
Fuck. Oh, we can go there too.
When's the first time you did anal?
When's the first time you did V?
Let's go. Here we go. Post. Woo. Let her rip. Oh, fuck. Oh, we can go there, too. When's the first time you did it? No, no, no. When's the first time you did V? Let's go.
Here we go, Post.
Woo!
Let her rip.
Oh, fuck.
September 08?
No, that's from the other guys.
That was his first desk pop.
Okay.
I don't know.
The question was age?
Age.
17?
17.
17.
What about the bum hole?
Oh, fuck.
Not until a couple years later.
What was the experience like?
For me, very cool.
It was a crazy thing.
You know, there's a lot of crazy stuff you look at as a kid.
And I'm like, you know what, fuck, I don't want to try this shit.
Did she shit on your dick or no, you were okay?
No, ma'am.
No, ma'am. No, ma'am. No, ma'am.
No, ma'am. Okay, we're moving on.
He kept it
clean. It was clean. When you pulled out,
you were okay? You weren't traumatized?
No, I was not. It sounds
like you're saying she was, though. No, but I can
never, I can never, like,
speak on behalf of,
we talk and be like, yeah, everything's
great, but then, like, I don't know't know like is this normal yeah have you know not again with the whatever you wouldn't
do it again no no no i would i mean i would oh but not with the same lady totally totally you
have a lady no understood but like right was like, not with the same lady.
We never did it again.
Does that make sense?
Oh, got it, got it, got it.
Yes.
Yes.
I can only speak on my behalf.
No, this is good.
I was gung ho though.
You're like, I was having a great fucking time.
Anyways, what is your biggest fear?
I hate airplanes, but that's not a biggest fear.
What?
That's a cop-out.
But I guess not being able to be there for my baby,
which is a new fear.
But yeah, that's why I tried to slow down on drinking,
to take better care of my body.
I stopped drinking sodas and stuff.
And I remember I went to the doctor and they said,
hey, man, your liver sucks.
And I was like, all right, so how do we fix it?
And so we're fixing it.
You're working on it.
Yes, ma'am.
What's the most awkward interaction you've had with another celebrity?
I don't necessarily remember,
but I remember there's one gentleman I know
who doesn't drink.
And I saw him after a couple years,
and I was roasted.
And I was like, hey, man, what are you drinking?
He's like, I don't drink.
And I'm like, oh, fuck, dude, I like that's a that's a bad feeling for me and i was like oh
i'm so sorry man i get it i get it you're like why did i just say that but like i'm sure they
get that all the time so that's okay but i get what you're it's in a moment you're like fuck me
yes yeah yeah i know i'll be like i'm such. Yeah. That's like, then that shit keeps you up. Yes. You're like, oh, man.
I got.
Why did I do that?
I'm so sorry, dude.
Oh.
You're a nice guy, though.
You care what you can affect people.
Everyone can.
That's a, just be nice.
Don't be a dickhead.
Just be nice.
Don't be a dickhead.
Yes, ma'am.
Let's put that on a t-shirt.
Yes, ma'am.
You're forced to dress up.
Okay.
And role play.
Okay.
In the bedroom.
Okay. What are you dressing up as role play in the bedroom. Okay.
What are you dressing up as?
Well, I guess Frodo.
Now we have to go on theme here.
You got to keep it consistent.
It has to be.
What would that look like?
Either Frodo or Sauron.
Oh, that'd be so badass.
I'll put on stilts and be like 10 feet tall like Sauron.
Do you think that would get your woman turned on?
No, ma'am.
Not even in the, there is no life in the void.
And then she's like, what the fuck are you doing?
Like it couldn't be more dry.
You're literally disgusting me right now.
What is happening?
You're freaking me out.
You're on stilts.
Post coming in.
Then she'll show me Sauron's eye.
That's a coochie. That's like the nickname there for the coochie. Got it. And then she'll show me Sauron's eye.
That's a coochie.
That's like the nickname there for the coochie.
Got it.
And she just spread herself and be like, I guess this is girl play. I guess this is Sauron.
Jesus fucking Christ.
But then we don't even have sex.
I just like practice my mace moves.
Watch this.
I'm kind of picturing, this is good too, because it's giving a full idea of what your sex is like.
Do you know what I mean?
Sure.
People are going to be like, ooh, this is good.
He's on stilts.
Sure.
The whole thing.
It's good.
This is sexy.
Or Captain Price from Call of Duty.
Wow.
This is very specific.
You learn something new every day.
Yes, ma'am.
This is really good.
When's the last time you cried?
That's been a long time.
That's a lie. That's been a long time. That's a lie.
That's been a long time.
Someone told me you were crying yesterday.
I didn't cry yesterday.
Do you cry on stage?
No one saw me yesterday.
Someone saw you.
I almost cry on stage.
I almost cry on stage, but I don't cry.
Almost.
That's sweat.
Dude, it's fucking hot.
It's hot up there.
I'm sweating a lot.
I haven't cried in like fucking six fucking years
well if you were to cry recently what would you be crying over i actually i i i find it harder now
you kind of get i don't know you do it for so long and you you kind of lose, like, it's sad, but you kind of, like, super calloused to shit.
I used to cry when people would make fun of me and shit.
And now I'm just like, hey, man, well, you haven't met me.
I think you might like me if we got to hang out, you know, but it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore. I did cry the last tour because my baby started blowing kisses and it's really cute.
So they're happy tears, Poe.
Yeah, happy tears.
That's great.
That's great.
Well, this is a quick little transition.
We were talking about your baby blowing kisses.
Just pretend that didn't happen for a second
um
what's your go-to
porn search words
Frodo feet
Legolas wig
Sauron Mace skills
Captain Price
in the prong
cruise missile
five kill streak
these are all
I usually put them
all in one,
and you'd be surprised if some of the crazy shit comes out of that.
Wow.
No, I don't know.
I mean, I kind of just go to like daily selection.
The daily trend.
Yeah, well, yeah, you know, because they spend a lot of time on the algorithm, I think.
And I think, you know, like a lot of people are on these sites.
So, I mean, something must be right there.
Yeah, there's no shame.
Check it out.
Totally.
And you get like 10 pages on there.
So, you can be like, oh, well, go to page five today.
Or you roll a dice.
Right.
You roll a D12 or a D20 and see what page you should go to.
I'm picturing you on Pornhub like, hmm, what's today's selection?
This is interesting.
You're kind of down for whatever.
Crack some wine.
Open a nice bottle.
And just candles.
And put Lord of the Rings.
It usually takes me like 12 hours.
My whole crank sesh.
So I can watch all the Lord of the Rings
in that time period.
Yeah.
And is that how long you would last during sex?
No.
How drunk am I?
What if you're sober?
I'm like 30 seconds.
Okay.
What if you've had seven beers?
Bump that up to a cool minute 30.
Okay.
And what if we're working out like a 20 beer situation?
Crazy night?
Yeah.
I'll go.
That's when the machine turns on.
That's when it's all finally lubricated.
And you just keep going.
I'd be like, how?
I'd be like, oh no.
Let's go.
You're in your prime.
You like go to the doctor.
Call the doctor.
What's your favorite sex position?
Missionary missionary of course
you keep it pretty locked down with your personal life.
Yes, ma'am.
Which I think is great.
But again, this is Call Her Daddy.
So I'm going to ask you a couple questions.
You answer how you're comfortable.
Yes, ma'am.
You're engaged?
Yes, ma'am.
Or are you married and you secretly haven't told anyone?
I'm not married.
You're not married.
You're engaged.
How long have you been engaged?
Two years.
Okay.
Yeah, I met a guy the other day and he was like i just got married after
21 years and i'm like oh sick please don't tell her that if we got you we got you what
would a post malone wedding look like bitchin bitchin yeah absolutely um i don't know I'd imagine an ice luge for brews
that's just steady going
and
it just keeps being
beer keeps being poured into it
and all my buddies are like super down for the cause
so they just go and
take a suckle of the teat of the nectar
and keep that
party going
dance moves are going to be hopefully popping.
I don't know.
I'd imagine everything rustic, modern.
Jorts?
But like wedding jorts?
Lots of camouflage.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, yeah.
Fuck rustic, modern. i think we just do everything camouflage
i think yeah i think that sounds amazing would you wear a camo suit uh sure thank you okay i
actually have a camo tuxedo and you're wearing camo crocs yes ma'am very trendy super trendy
very cool but i wear it for the utilitarian purposes. Okay, cool. How did you propose? It was in Vegas.
But we got married.
Just a proposal.
Okay.
And I had lost a significant amount of money at the table.
And we go upstairs and I'm like, off my rocker, hammered.
And I was like, hey, you want to marry me?
I got a ring and all this stuff.
And then she said no. She's like, hey, you want to marry me? I got a ring and all this stuff. And then she said no.
She's like, ask me tomorrow.
And I was like, all right, yeah.
And then I did.
And I was sober.
And it was nice.
I fucking love her for that.
Yeah.
She's a beast. She's like, be fucking sober.
She's a beast, yeah.
But yeah.
She was right.
I mean, you know, I knew.
You did.
I knew.
I'm just a terrible arbiteriter of romanticism I guess um how did you
know like what is something about her because I know you keep your relationship private like
what's something that you like knew you were in love with this person I could tell which is really
cool I could tell her heart is so massive and I've always wanted kids and like a a big family and i could
tell she was gonna be a really good mama and she's like number one mom in the fucking universe are
any of your songs about her they're not out yet is it gonna be on the album no man so you've
written some but no one's heard them. No one's heard them.
But she...
Because that's, I don't know, that's a scary...
I feel like, I don't know, a lot of the songs I do,
a lot of the songs I write for her I don't even play for her
because I'm terribly shy about...
I know, it's terrible.
I know.
If I was her, I would force you to sit down and be like, play it.
Oh, we do have a guitar.
Would you play it?
All right, I'll play it.
It's like 25 songs, so I hope you guys are ready.
Don't stop.
Don't stop.
You can't get us that excited.
My heart got excited.
Okay, but you've written songs about her, but you just don't release them right now.
Yes, ma'am.
Okay, so you're now a dad.
Yes, ma'am.
Which is so exciting.
Yes, ma'am.
How old is your daughter now?
At the time of this interview, 14 months.
14, 15 months.
Congratulations.
Thank you very much.
What is Papa Post like?
It's cool.
Very cool.
Very handsome.
My dad, when I was a kid,
he would always play me
like really heavy music
and I love heavy music.
The other day,
I put on a Godsmack song
and I started rocking
and she was like,
and it was really cute. So that must have made you really happy. Yeah that made me really happy.
What do you think is your best dad skill?
Having money. Yeah. Yeah.
I think as of right now that
it's good for the baby and good for the mom and
I think that's about the only skill I have, really.
Sometimes I'll play guitar with her, which is an all right skill,
but they're like, put the fucking guitar away.
I want the new Fisher-Price deal.
You're like, here's my MX.
God bless you all.
I think the baby knows the code.
That'll be her first word is my credit card number.
Okay, now what's the expiration?
Very good.
Dude, that's so good.
You're bringing the dough.
You're self-aware, Post.
Hey, look, I'm the happiest I've ever been.
I'm so happy for you.
I'll pay all the money in the world.
That's amazing.
What's a lesson that your parents kind of taught you growing up that you want to make sure that you pass on to your daughter?
Well, my dad said you can't make everyone happy, which is a good lesson.
I still struggle with that because I try to be understand and just kind of be patient with the situation.
Yeah. And kind of hypocritical at some times.
But I guess that's that's just be yourself and you can't make everyone.
Yeah. Especially in, sorry.
No, you're fine.
I agree with everything you're saying
and I think it's a good approach to life.
What do you think is the biggest misconception about you?
Small nipples.
You're like Puff Daddy.
I'm Puffy Nips.
You guys know my new record?
No, I don't know.
I don't know. Well, I guess right now I could say everybody thinks I'm Puffy Nips. You guys know my new record? No, I don't know. I don't know.
Well, I guess right now I could say everybody thinks I'm on drugs.
Okay.
I'm not on drugs.
Okay.
It's good to clarify.
No.
Maybe you don't even have to.
Well, that's...
You shouldn't have to.
I just spoke to somebody about this, and it's interesting having everybody in your life all the time. And, like, I tried to maintain a private lifestyle because, like, you know, especially with the baby.
And I want her to be able to decide what she wants to do.
Maybe she doesn't want to be on social media.
But I see a lot of people, you know, here's my baby, like, just right out of the coochie.
Here she is.
Here they are.
And I'm like, well, you know, how do you know the baby wanted to do that you know trust me I agree with
you wholeheartedly like let the kid decide yeah well that's that's the whole
deal and so like I try to maintain that whole deal but people can see me on
stage and they take might take my dance moves. People are like, hey, this is what meth looks like.
I'm like, I'm not on meth.
Yeah.
Unless it's in Pedialyte.
Is it in macaroni and cheese?
Yeah.
Because I'm definitely on meth
if it's in macaroni and cheese.
But does that get annoying though?
How do you decide when you're like,
fuck, should I not speak up on this?
You're like, hi, I'm not on fucking drugs.
Respectfully, I don't owe anybody an explanation for anything.
Yeah.
But I can tell that there is genuine care.
Yeah.
And it's not, everybody is not just the guy that's like, okay, kids, this is what meth looks like.
Don't be like this fucking guy.
But there is people who genuinely care you know and i kind of wanted to
put their minds at ease there's so much love in my fan base and it's super cool but you always get
those motherfuckers that are like fuck this guy you know but it is interesting though when you
say that post because in the same interview you're saying i've never been happier and people think
you're on meth yes ma'am so this is kind of nice. It's kind of a fine line.
Yeah, it's kind of interesting.
You're like, I have never been happier.
And everyone's like, but you're on math?
Yeah.
You're like, you can think that.
I'm happy.
Well, and they can think.
At the end of the day, they're going to think whatever they want.
Even after I was like, hey, guys, I'm not on drugs.
People are like, that's exactly what someone on drugs would say.
Okay, great.
Okay, whatever. You tried. You tried. And I'm happiest I've ever exactly what someone on drugs would say. Okay, great. Okay, whatever.
You tried.
You tried.
And I'm happiest I've ever been.
Not on drugs.
Like a good beer.
Like to smoke cigarettes.
Hanging out.
We love it.
Your new album, Austin, by the time this comes out, it will be out.
What is the story behind the album?
The story behind the album is a couple days before tour we were like hey i
want to do like um an acoustic project so we went and we rented out henson for a week and um
we made like eight songs in seven days and crushed half of the record there
can i have a brewski? Yeah. Thank you.
I'm so sorry.
Wait, no, you're fine.
Wait, you did eight songs in seven days?
Yes, ma'am.
Is that normal?
Sometimes.
Sometimes it is.
They're not good for the most part whenever we do that.
Yes, please.
Thank you, Ben.
Bobby.
Sorry.
Fuck.
God damn it.
Ben.
Yeah, Ben. Ben is usually grabbing the beers. But it's Bobby. But it's Bobby in Sorry. Fuck. God damn it. Ben. Yeah, Ben. Ben is usually grabbing the beers.
But it's Bobby.
But it's Bobby in here.
Hi, Bobby.
Hi, Bobby.
Hi.
Hi.
You want to come in for camera time?
Yeah, Bobby.
I know he wants to go on camera.
When was your first anal?
Let's talk about your sandwiches.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, guys, check out Bobby's, or Bobbo's, if you're ever in, if you have in Jersey.
Jersey.
Okay, so eight songs, seven days.
Yes, ma'am.
And you said usually that turns out bad, but.
Well, yeah, because you can go and you can make like half a song and never have lyrics or anything like that on there.
But it was so much fun.
And we had so much fun.
And it was originally supposed to be just me and a guitar.
And then we were like, oh, fuck it.
This song would be bitching with drums on it.
And so we just kept making a whole album.
And the whole album was made musically musically like recording wise like three weeks
total so it was cool how do you want your fans to feel about this album i just hope they don't
think it sucks um that's usually the consensus amongst the team like does this suck and i don't
think it sucks um but it's really cool i got i i felt a lot lot of space it was written by me
and three other dudes completely
besides we had some
really super talented guest writers
I wouldn't even call them guest writers
co-writers
but guests in the studio
because for the most part it was just us
I always keep stuff to myself
that you wrote on the toilet
yes ma'am
it's a very intimate moment for you That you wrote on the toilet. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
Yeah.
It's a very intimate moment for you to write it on the toilet, you and yourself, and then
to put it out there.
Well, I actually had him bring a porcelain throne into Henson to cut the vocals as well
and the guitar.
That makes sense.
Just for perfect accuracy.
I think you can hear a little bit of the shine.
Yeah.
A little bit of the twang in the recording.
Yeah.
But you wanted it to be genuine.
Yes, ma'am.
This is me in my raw form of
how i actually do it i'm actually gonna do that for the next record we just did your album cover
everyone live from the shitter um no everyone will know just me on the toilet or it's the selfie
everybody's like oh this dude's definitely on the sh. What is your favorite lyric that you wrote? Oh.
I call her Shrek because she got a donkey.
It's genius.
Thank you.
It's innovative.
Thank you.
And it's also nostalgic.
It's eye-opening.
It strikes all the right chords.
It really makes you think.
What is that lyric on?
What song?
It's called Socialite. Social you imagine like kind of makes you think like right and then like track donkey what do you think is going to
be the biggest banger do you usually know when something is going to hit with your fans or you
are always surprised which ones become the biggest i'm i'm always surprised i feel like i can go off what you know
like management and label and everybody says yeah stuff but i mean i just want to make a song that i
i like yeah and i could never like some songs you just know and like oh this is really catchy yeah
that usually does it but now i'm old and i mean i made uh an album with me playing guitar on every song and no features so
I don't know exactly how in touch I am okay um but I think there's some great songs on there
that I hope people like what's your favorite song on the album you know that one yeah that one you know that one i can already feel it
i can already hear it i really don't i fuck top two
come on they're all so different you know whatever comes out of your mouth everyone's
gonna listen to well i hope anybody listens at all that would be amazing listen post daddy gang is gonna fucking listen
thanks daddy these people are so loyal daddy gang is gonna get out there they're gonna stream the
whole thing but we need to hear your top two songs i'm trying to remember the track list too
i don't want to go i'm having so much i don't want you to go either um i'm actually getting
kicked off is what's happening i'm like I'm like, okay, it's enough shit. Talk it the fuck out.
Get the fuck out, Frodo feet.
This is the first night you shit your pants on stage.
It goes down tonight.
I like Green Thumb a lot.
I had a lot of fun playing the guitar on that and writing the guitar for that.
Enough is enough, something real.
I can list the whole track list.
Okay.
But I don't know.
I had so much fun working on those records.
I'm so excited for you.
You're so talented.
Thank you.
It's always such a pleasure to get to sit down with someone and meet them in person.
Because, again, I see things online about you.
I see your pictures and your videos and your amazing dance moves. But being in your presence, like you're such a soft, sweet guy that is clearly so talented beyond words.
And I just can't thank you enough for taking the time because I know you're on tour and you're so busy.
And this really meant a lot to me and my fans and your fans.
So thank you, Post.
Thank you very much.
Thank you guys for having me.
Let's go play beer pong.
I don't see why not.
Oh, wait.
I have a gift for you.
What?
Okay.
So I know you're really happy.
Yes, ma'am.
But we're never perfect.
Yes, ma'am.
So this is merch for you.
Unwell.
This is amazing.
Yeah.
And it's...
It's...
Yeah.
Feel that?
Yeah.
Oh, and it's puff print like your nipples.
Oh, it's a set.
It's puff print like my nippies.
It hides it perfectly. Oh, and it's puff print like your nipples. Oh, it's a set? It's puff print like my nippies.
It hides it perfectly.
Well, that's actually so funny because we got a gift for you.
No post.
Oh, my God.
Look at us.
This is so sweet, guys.
Thank you so much.
You're amazing. Thank you.
No, you're fucking amazing.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
We did it! With the Lee Korn G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon All the housewives pullin' up
I got a lot of toys
720S pumpin' fallout boy
You was talkin' shit in the beginning
Back when I was feelin' more forgiven
I know I pissed you off to see me winnin'
See the hit glue in my mouth and I be grinnin'
Yeah
Hundred bands in my pocket, it's on me
Hundred deep when I roll like the army Get my bottles, these bottles are lonely Yeah, yeah Everywhere I go Catch me on the block like a Mutombo 750 Lambo in the Utah snow
Trunk in the front like a shit-done boy
Cut the roof off like a nip-tuck
Pull up to the house with some big butts
Turn the kitchen counter to a strip club
Me and Dre came for the
When I got guap, all of y'all disappeared
Before I dropped Sonny, none of y'all really cared
Now the airway say congratulations to the kid
And this is not a 40, but I'm pouring out this shit
Used to have a lot, but I got more now Made another hit, cause I got more now
Always going for it, never pump fourth down Last call, hell, Mary Prescott touchdown, ayy
Hundred bands in my pocket, it's on me Hundred deep when I roll like the army
Get my bottles, these bottles are lonely It's a moment when I show I roll like the army get my bottles these bottles are lonely
It's a moment when I show up god, i'm saying wow
Honey, ben's in my pocket. It's on me
Your grandma will probably know me
It's a moment when I show up god, i'm saying wow
I thought you were way better
I really promise I've won games i've like i've been like I pulled a little bit away. I thought you were way better than me. I'm really wrong.
I've won games.
I've been like, boom, boom.
I was...
I have stage fright.
I would be too, and I was.
You were doing it in front of coaches so good.
It's harder.
It's harder white now. Doesn't feel the same Now I'm sitting around waiting for the world to end all day
Cause I couldn't leave you without you
You break me then I break my rules
Last time was the last time too
It's fucked up I know but I'm still
I sat at a party smoking in the car with you Seven Nation Army fighting at the bar with you
Say that I'm sorry, tell me what I gotta do
Cause I can't let go, it's chemical
No, I can't let go, it's chemical
Every time I'm ready to make a change
You turn around and fuck out all my brains
I ain't tryna fight fate
It's too late to save face
I can't get away
Maybe there's no mistakes
You break me then I break my rules
Last time was the last time too
It's fucked up I I know, but I'm still
I thought of the party, smoking in the car with you
Seven Nation Army, fighting at the bar with you
Tell you that I'm sorry, tell me what I gotta do
Cause I can't go, it's chemical
No, I can't let go, it's chemical
No, I can't let go, it's chemical
Tell you that I'm sorry, tell me what I gotta do
No, I can't let go, it's chemical Outro Music