Call Her Daddy - The Roast of my Past

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

This week the tables are turned and Father Cooper is the one being interviewed. In honor of her 27th birthday, Big Al is grilled with 27 questions that will reveal untold stories from her past. Have you ever wondered how many people she’s had sex with? Her first heartbreak? Has she ever successfully pulled off a catfish? Oh, and of course, the question everyone has been wondering…are her tits real? Daddy Gang, tune in this week to hear something a little different and to feel a little closer to your Father. 

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your single father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Happy birthday to me. Happy fucking Wednesday, wiener holes. It is your father, but most importantly, it's almost my fucking birthday. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. It's about to be a little different this week. Why? Today I'm going to be answering some questions. Twenty-seven questions.

Put down your fucking croissant, you whore. I know you're all excited, like, yay, it's a questions episode, sort of, but not really. Instead of going to France this week and answering your questions and giving you advice, I had a team of people select 27 questions for my 27th birthday that I'm going to be answering on this episode. I've never seen these questions. No one has prepped me and I don't have anything in front of me right now other than Henry and some Cheetos. I don't know. We're going to hopefully get something different out of me today and I hope you guys feel closer to me after we do these questions.

Daddy gang, I give you 27 questions. Hello, Daddy Gang. This is 27 Questions with Alex Cooper. I will be conducting this interview, and I won't be going easy on your father. Are you ready? Question 1. What's something you used to be embarrassed about but don't give a shit about anymore okay coming in hot getting right to it hello um something i was embarrassed about that i do not give a shit about anymore that is a great kickoff question. Every single man that I have dated in my life, I have lied about my middle name. And I have told them that my middle name is Beth, Alexandra Beth Cooper. Still to this day, Slim Shady, door number three, still thinks it. And it's no, this is the most cringe. He will text me like back in the day if we were having fights and he'd be like I love you Alexandra

Beth Cooper and I'm like that's not my middle fucking name it's a fucking movie I love you Beth Cooper do you all remember that fucking movie the truth is is my middle name is Burns Alexandra Burns Cooper Burns was that last name my parents gave me and my siblings all last names from our family lineage as our middle names, which now in hindsight that I'm looking at, I'm like, maybe it's kind of like unique and cool. But at the time I remember I was like, why can't it be Marie or Rose or Anne? Like I was like, give me that basic shit, mom. Dot Burns. Fucking Burnsy. Start calling me Burnsy, baby.

So yes, that was something that I lied about for a very long time. And I was so embarrassed by it. And now I literally don't give a shit anymore. If anything, I'm happy. Fucking Burnsy, baby. All right, Burnsy. Question two. Are your boobs real?

Are my boobs real? Yes, my boobs are real are real here you heard it on the record here my boobs are in fact real thank you fuck off my boobs are real my nose is real and then everything else is fake question three what did your teachers say about you when you were in elementary school what did my teachers say about me when I was in elementary school? Oh, Alex. It was always, oh, Alex. I remember like my seventh grade teacher, Mrs. Grabowski, we weren't allowed to wear makeup. And it was fucked up because like I was, that was a time in my life where I was like maybe the most insecure. I was breaking out so bad and

I was so insecure about it. And seventh grade is the time you start to realize boys. So like I remember trying to put some like light cover up on my acne and I will never forget she pulled me aside, not even fully pulled me aside. Like people in class heard it and was like, I can tell you have makeup on I'm gonna bring you to the bathroom and you're gonna wash it off she made me go into the bathroom with her and scrub my face and if anyone's ever had acne imagine doing this in the middle of a school day when you don't have anything to like one it's gonna be red because now it's like it's raw and then you don't have

anything to cover it up with and so I remember having to scrub my face and I went into the stall and started bawling my eyes out and she was like Alex get back in class right now and I was like hysterically crying and I was so embarrassed and my whole face was broken out and I had to walk back into class and it was like traumatizing I remember I didn't go to school the next day I like begged my mom which she my mom didn't I didn't have to school the next day. I like begged my mom, which she, my mom didn't, I didn't have to beg her. My mom was just like, I'm so sorry. And like, I remember like I would do things like I would like hold my drink kind of in front of my face when I was talking or like, yeah, put my like hand on my chin to like cover something and like I don't know what was the question what do your teachers

think about you Alex how about what the fuck I think about them fuck you Mrs. Grabowski question four if you could go back and tell your 18 year old self three words what would they be I can go back and tell my 18 year old self three words. Where was I at 18? Freshman year of college. I would probably say, I could say three words to myself. I would just stare at myself and be like, gluck, gluck, 9,000. Like, baby, it's gonna make you fucking rich one day, bitch. Keep fucking sucking every MLB player's fucking cock, every NHL fucking dick. You got it, sweetie. No, can you imagine? I'm like gluck gluck 9000 but like actually no I would probably just look at myself and be like I would like wink and be like you made it yeah you did question five have you ever pulled off a catfish have I ever pulled off a catfish I feel like my biggest catfish was in high school I was basically pulling like a Jenny

Humphrey and Gossip Girl situation so like I went to a private boarding prep school for high school which my family could absolutely not afford and so I got like a considered an academic scholarship but it was actually for soccer so I got like financial aid to go to the school um and half the girls were driving like Maseratis literally and I didn't even have a car I sometimes would borrow like my grandmother's car R.I.P. love you Nana and um I was so embarrassed because I was driving this like grandmother's old white dinky car and I would park blocks away from my high school and then walk to high school because I was like so embarrassed. Like it's crazy to look back on that now. And it's like, wait, where is the girl? Like call her daddy. Like I've always been confident in certain aspects, but like, damn, like I straight up like walked blocks to get to high school so that I

would park far away like that's crazy like I was so embarrassed about my car like the car that I had that was my grandmother's car because like my parents what couldn't afford me a fucking car like that was actually probably the best thing that now I look back that I will like had parents that wouldn't just buy me a fucking car when I'm in high school you know but at the time it was like I was like so like annoyed that I didn't have those things yeah catfish definitely I definitely pulled it off but people definitely thought I was like a little had a little bit more money than I actually had and thankfully no one fucking called me out for like my fake Dolce and Gabbana bag and I don't want to get also twisted like don't get it wrong my my family was fine but I'm explaining like the level of wealth at this high

school this high school literally cost more than some colleges so I was just I just felt very out of place and I think in high school you don't have that perspective yet. So like the surface level shit literally matters at the time to you. Question six, what was your AOL username? My first AOL username was minicooper8970 at AIM.com. Nobody called me Mini Cooper. I wanted them to call me Mini Cooper. I wanted everyone to call me Mini Cooper. I was the youngest. It made sense. I wanted to have a Mini Cooper car when I grew up. It all made sense to me. No one would call me Mini Cooper and I never got the Mini Cooper. Question seven. How were you asked to prom? How was I asked to prom in high school?

So that's a great question. I went to a few proms. Each of them disasters, of course. Like, what the fuck? My senior year of my prom at my school, I went alone. Yep, I did go alone um I remember my junior year started talking to this guy that went to this place called Holy Ghost Prep fuck you Ryan um he asked me I went outside one day and there was the biggest teddy bear I've ever seen in my entire life it was like one of those that you see at like Toys R Us and it had a huge bow on it and it was like prom

question mark and it was like that guy asked me and I was like okay this is stupid two weeks later he and I got in a huge fight and he disinvited me and took someone else because he found out that I was talking to a good bit of other people as well full self self-sabotage. I bought a dress, everything. And then he literally disinvited me. And you know, that's probably, it was, that was, I understood that. Um, and then for my actual, the Pennington prom, I was dating this guy. He was like the biggest shit soccer player was supposed to go to UNC or whatever the fuck. And a little brain dead. He was one of the guys that literally got a tattoo on his body in a different language. And then everyone was like, wait, you spelled it wrong. That was kind of like the vibe. And we love

for that. But like that was kind of like the great guy, just like a little not there. Anyways, I basically was like, I'm not going to prom with you. I'm going to prom alone. And, like, maybe I'll see you at prom. But, like, I'm going to prom alone. I wore this, like, slutty black dress. And I went with my best friend, Anna. And we both went solo.

And we had the best fucking prom. Maybe that's when, like, the wheels for Call Her Daddy started spinning. Question eight. How many people have you had sex with? Twelve. Want to make it 13? Question nine. What did you do to deserve your biggest punishment from your parents?

What did you do to deserve your biggest punishment from your parents what did you do to deserve your biggest punishment from your parents date dylan um i literally was the definition of like the girl who had like the straight path and arrow like you got the scholarship and i was just trying to fuck it up. My parents despised this guy. He was older, he did drugs, he was sniffing aerosol cans, he had a DUI, suspended license, and I was 16. So obviously my parents forbid me from seeing him and obviously I kept seeing him.

And so I pretended I was friends with this girl and I would go over to her house and then he would pick me up from there and it was literally like a system where like shout out to her Nadia love you she was like so supportive of it and I would literally like clockwork go to her house my parents would say bye have fun with Nadia and then two minutes later Dylan would come up in his car and pick me up. And like, finally my parents found out. I remember the final straw was I told my mom I was sleeping at Nadia's. She had was suspicious. She pulled up in the morning, was like, hi, I'm outside. Come outside. You slept at Nadia's, right? And I was not at Nadia's because my sleepover was at Dylan's. And so the gig was up. And I remember my punishment was my phone was taken away all electronics gone and I

essentially didn't do shit for six months other than go to school and play soccer and the absolute worst part was I destroyed my parents uh trust with me that was sophomore year of high school and by junior year we were secretly back together question 10 what was the first time you got your heart broken that guy dated in high school when i like showed up to the hospital and he had a tube down his throat and he was in a coma probably that moment yeah his friend was driving his friend fell asleep at the wheel and they swerved off the road

and kind of like you sometimes instinctually like put your seatbelt almost like under your armpit because you almost feel like it will be safer. He did that. They smashed into a tree. And when they smashed into the tree, the seatbelt being in that position essentially like ripped his insides and he was internally bleeding and he walked a mile up to get to a ramp walked up the ramp of the highway and then found someone at the um the gas station called an ambulance and by the time he got to the ambulance they did scans and he was internally bleeding all over his body and he was in such shock from the alcohol intake that like and the crash that he didn't even realize so like they would have both probably died so he gets to the hospital and then he was they were like losing him and they put him in an

induced coma and I got a call from his twin sister um and at the time we weren't on like the best terms and I hadn't talked to him in like a few days. And then my parents were away. Um, and I called my parents and was like, I need to go to the hospital in Philadelphia. Um, so I was like like can I please have Catherine drive me that's my sister can I please have Catherine drive me down like I promise this is it I just he could die like I just want to see him and like I promise this is it and my parents said yes so my sister drove me down to the hospital and I um I remember like every second of it. Like my sister was, my sister had been amazing. And that was like one of our first really big like bonding experiences.

Because like if you have a sister, you know, it's like ebbs and flows. Like you go through parts of your life and like you hate each other. You love each other. You hate each other. And like my sister with regard to that relationship was like the only person that I could go to. And like I would conf could go to and like I would confide in her and like she would drive me to his house sometimes and like I remember shout out sorry but like she took me to get plan b one time like there was a lot of like sister trust

there and and she never broke it and never told my parents and um so she drove me to the hospital in silence and I like wrote him a letter in the car. And then I got to the hospital and I, it's crazy because like I'm in high school. I don't have my parents there with me. Like I've never experienced something like this. And like basically his family was like, let me go in alone. And I see him with a tube down his throat, like with cuts all over his face. And I just started sobbing.

And I gave him the letter at the end of seeing him which was basically a goodbye letter when you think about heartbroken it's like someone broke up with you but in this instance it was like after that accident our relationship was over and when he got out of the hospital and everything, I remember like I tried to be there for him, but things with him didn't change. So my senior year, we didn't speak. But after that hospital incident, I wrote him 50. Oh my God god I'm like remembering this right now I wrote him 55 letters throughout that year before I left for college fucking drama I know and they were like pages and pages of whatever I was feeling in the moment and I remember the day before I left for

Boston for college I put them in a box and I drove over to his house and I left them on his front doorstep. And he still has all of those letters to this day. Question 11. How did you tell your parents you were starting call her daddy how did i tell my parents i was starting call her daddy that is a great question i should ask my mom should i just call my mom it's probably watch my mom doesn't answer me hello hi you are currently on my podcast i'm in the middle of recording okay when did i like tell you that i was starting call her daddy um I think it was when you came back from South by Southwest yeah you called me and you were like what do you think of this and I was like shit do it because I didn't I don't think I really gave you much like context though right no you said we're just

gonna get on because you were doing your vlogs oh right and you were like you know i'm like no the vlogs are great they're going over well and you're like yeah this is like a totally different thing this is just our voices we're just talking you know we're gonna it's gonna be maybe like kind of a little bit salacious i'm like yeah whatever you know we're just gonna talk about new y York and all that I'm gonna talk about New York thank you yeah we're working now this is your day off no we're currently recording so I have to go we're doing like a questions for my 27th birthday episode um but okay thank you that was one of the questions okay bye okay so I guess I just casually called my mother

not even a big sit down conversation and you know what now that I do remember once I did call her once the like the first episode was like sexed uh me so I know it's real and then the next one is if you're a five or six die for that dick and then the third one is the gluck gluck 9000 wait my mom is calling me again hello hello I do remember one thing because dad just came down I do remember you were like mom dad you have to promise not to listen to this oh my god I forgot about that you have to promise me and I was like I swear to god and I was like oh I'm listening to every single thing you're like downloading it first person you're're like, I listened. And dad was like, okay, so like, I can't even, I'm like, you can't listen at all. I was like, oh God, I don't want to listen. I'm like, and then I listened first one. I was like, you absolutely cannot listen to this. I just remember you saying that you have to promise me that you will

not listen to this. And every week I would say to you, no problem. And I'd listen to it immediately. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I know. Cause I was just looking at the episodes and it was like, like what, what did I think my parents were going to fucking think I was like doing? Like what?

Right. And then you blamed it all on some shit. Like, oh my God, these are all her stories. Then I'm listening to it and I'm like, oh, this is your whole college experience. You're like, oh, I know who you're, you're like oh I know who you're you're like I know who you're talking about thank you mother but you don't regret it right you you're happy that you didn't stand in my way 100 supportive day one thanks lore question 12 okay you're on death row what's your final meal death row last meal what am i eating and drinking oh an appetizer i think i would either go french onion soup

with a side of my boyfriend's dick but if i'm on death row i'm gonna assume he either killed him or he fucking left my ass um I would probably go with some french onion soup for my main course I'm gonna then go for the chicken parm with spaghetti from Dantana's and then for my dessert I'm going Baskin Robbins gold ribbon ice cream, which is like vanilla, chocolate, and caramel. A drink I'm getting, fucking straight tequila on the rocks. Casamigos Reposado. Question 13. I'm feeling generous.

Three people can join you for dinner before we give you the chair. Who are your guests? Oh, I would obviously pick my mother. No, no relatives mr sexy zoo man and larryner out too okay i would say number one is my childhood best friend i would invite kristin she's a very soothing presence and i feel like she would just even if I fucking slaughtered someone Kristen would be there to coddle me then my second dinner guest I'm a I would almost go to say like Amy Winehouse I feel like there would be a performance while I'm eating my pasta she would just start fucking singing I

would then put my pasta down her mouth she'd be singing a catered version to me of they're trying to motherfucking kill you but I said yes yes yes this is your last meal baby and she would almost like sing me into the death in like a good way so me Kristen Amy Winehouse And then maybe sister Patricia kindergarten. She was a nun shout out. And she literally like shaped the formative years of my kindergarten. I just remember that woman. Literally, I used to go home to my mom and be like, I swear I see a halo over her head. And I thought she was the most unbelievable human being. And so sister Patricia, i believe she passed so me amy winehouse kristin and sister

patricia what a combo what the fuck that's wild question 14 okay wrap your favorite verse. Rap my favorite verse. Jesus Christ. Oh, it's definitely Nicki Minaj, Bedrock. Okay, I get it. Let me think. I guess I can't do that. Okay, I get it. Let me think.

I guess it's my turn. Then maybe it's time to put this pussy on your sideburns. I can't do that because that's literally the most cringe thing. But yeah, it's Bedrock. Okay, I get it. Let me think. I guess it's my turn. Maybe it's time to put this pussy on your sideburns you say i'm bad she probably right she fucking me like button towns on a friday night he's saying nicky don't stop you're the bestest and i just become enough to top as bestest question 15 call a previous guest and ask them one of these questions call one of the guests that i've had on the podcast and ask them some of one of these

questions okay let me call hannah burner what the fuck is up bitch yes hannah okay listen don't ask just answer what is something that you used to be embarrassed by that you don't give a shit about anymore so i just ask answering for me yes just for you okay that i used to be embarrassed about but now i don't give a shit anymore um my when my pubic hairs come out of my bikini line oh and you've just relinquished that that you're just over it i'm just like what you've never seen pubic hair before i love that we yeah we grew up with barbie dolls where they just don't have hair and that's not real life and i'm italian and i'm hairy and people are gonna have to live with it people have to fucking deal with it.

I respect that so much. Okay, bye. Thank you so much, Hannah. Okay, thanks. I love you. I love you. Bye, miss you. TTYL.

Okay, I fucking love her. The fact that I can just like call Hannah Byrne and be like, hi, don't ask fucking questions, answer. And she's just like, yep, okay, perfect. My bikini line. I love you Hannah

keep those fucking short and curlies long and straight baby okay next question 16 when did you first catch a cheater when did I first catch a cheater oh my signature fucking move okay I have never told this story on call her daddy so it was my junior year of college I start talking to Slim Shady he flies me down to Port St. Lucie Florida for spring training for the MLB I am at a fucking muscle milk shoot with him on a random Sunday. And there's a trailer at this photo shoot while he's on the baseball field that I'm allowed to just sit in, eat food, chill out. I'm sitting in this fucking trailer and I'm bored as fuck. And then all of a sudden a phone buzzes and I turn to my right and I realize that Slim's phone is in the trailer. And who the fuck is Ashley? Okay.

So I immediately pick up his phone and I'm like, fuck, what could his passcode be? This idiot had the same Netflix password as his phone password, which is his fucking birthday. And then all of a sudden the phone opens. And I will never forget this moment because it was like, because listen, I've been there going through a phone when like your partner's like in the shower or peeing. And it's like, you, it's mission impossible. You're it's a race for the clock of like, holy fuck, are they coming? Are they coming in this moment? Daddy gang, I am holding this man's phone. I just tried a passcode the first time and it fucking opened. And then I look up and I'm able to look through the trailer window and I am staring

at this man. I have his location and I know he has an hour left of a photo shoot and I have his phone open in my hands. 19 year old Alex basically just came. So I remember I opened his phone and at this point we're not officially exclusively dating, but he had at this point been like, I am obsessed with you. I like, I am falling in love with you. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? And I kept saying, cause I bet you're talking to all these girls. And he kept saying, no, no, no saying no no no I open his phone 25 fucking girls he is at the moment texting and some he's like hey sorry got to go to a photo shoot text you after in this moment a lot of you may have like taken a mental picture of these girls names and the

conversations I took out my phone and took an actual picture of every single girl's name and at least four scrolls worth of each one of their conversations. I closed his phone. I closed my phone. I sat back in the trailer, ate some chips, poured myself a muscle milk and greeted him when he opened the trailer saying he was done. Hi baby. Oh my God. Let's go to dinner. Flash forward a year later. And we're like now officially dating. I am out in New York city. I will never forget it with him, Lauren, some of our friends, and we are getting food after a night out. And I am like, wait, give me your phone. Like, let me text blah, blah, blah. Because my friend was going to hook up with his friend. And I go to text his friend that I'm close with, send the text.

And then as we're roaming around the fucking cheese section, I just start to scroll through my boyfriend's phone. I see the name Ashley in his fucking phone. And I'm like, wait, in my drunken state, I'm like, wait, why do I feel like I know this name? And I opened the phone and they're talking about physical therapy. Okay. Because apparently this girl's like a physical therapist. And I'm like this name, this name, this name. We go back upstairs to our apartment and I confront him. I'm like, who is this Ashley in your phone? And he's like, it's a physical therapist girl. Like

she's just helping me because this guy is always fucking hurt he like doesn't have a fucking career and I'm like what do you mean he's physical therapist okay this motherfucker goes to sleep I take out one of my seven fucking computers the one computer that I had uploaded and saved all of the fucking pictures that I took of his phone a year ago in Port St. Lucie in the trailer at the Muscle Milk shoot. And I opened my fucking album. And there before my eyes is Ashley, the physical therapist with her fucking tits out. Here's a piece of advice, Slim.

Maybe get a physical therapist that will actually fix your elbow, not your dick. Cheater fucking caught. Question 17. If you had Mr. Sexy Zoom Man's phone was sitting right next to me and you guys gave me the passcode, would I look at it? I was faced with that decision the other night a little bit. Granted, I didn't know the passcode, but I, his, I, listen, if you are daddy gang, you know me and my iPad situation. Like I always find these motherfuckers on the iPad and so I'm in the kitchen and he's at a dinner and his iPad like buzzes old Alex would sit here and try really hard to like turn the iPad so it glimmers in the light so I could see where the most fingerprints match up to which number so I can try to hack in and I would sit here and get it fucking disabled a couple times and um the answer is no I wouldn't

look because I trust him question 18 if you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life name that track no one else can feel it for you only you can let it in um if i could listen to one song for the rest of my life yep that would be it feel the rain on your skin question 19 what's your favorite gift you've ever received what is my favorite gift that I've ever received I don't know why this comes to my mind and it's so fucking pathetic now but let me tell you a little time where I thought I just received not only the most epic gift but like worthy of bragging to everyone in my life about it when I was dating the Red Sox player I was I was thriving honestly like sophomore year of college my coach was a fucking cunt and I really was like damn I'm dating a fucking Red Sox player and every

day after or before his games he would pick me up in his fucking Aston Martin in front of my coach and I would basically be like go fuck yourself junior year I go on to Babcock Street I get into 1019 dorm rooms for pre-season okay and August 21st like I fucking said my birthday and he's like I'm gonna drop um your gift off for you like could you see me for a minute and I'm like yeah like I'll be like leaving the ice bath at this time and like putting a bunch of makeup on to like make sure I like look good after soccer practice so he comes by and he gives me gifts and he's like like happy birthday Alex everyone is like what did get you like oh my god like you're so lucky like this is amazing I have like three like bags and I'm like what's happening and I'm like, what's happening? And I unwrap each of them. I open and he got me two watches

and a designer backpack. Two, again, this man owns an Aston Martin, two Michael Kors watches and a Michael Kors backpack. At the time I was beaming. I'm like, oh my God, you guys got me a backpack and two watches. And all the girls are like, and we're all freaking out. And I have like both watches on my wrist and I put the backpack on like fucking Dora the Explorer walking past like the hockey player who's also at his fucking preseason in the dorm rooms and he's like seeing me run down the fucking hall with a Michael Kors backpack on as if that meant shit flash forward to understanding now of that man's net worth and the cost of a fucking Michael Kors watch. This man should have been buying me a Rolex. And instead I got two fucking Michael Kors watches

from a man that made $16 million a fucking year. And again, no shade to Michael fucking Kors. It's just in relation to what that fuck, the guy literally owns like a fucking Rolls Royce and like the nicest fucking watches and he got me a fucking Michael Coors watch and a fucking Michael Coors backpack and you best believe I wore them all over fucking campus and you also best believe that I kept the Michael Coors watch boxes and I probably still have them in my fucking house to this day question 20 what's the biggest mistake you've ever made what is the biggest mistake I have made um okay I have it and I can't take full blame for this mistake, but let me just tell you the story. Second grade, Alex, was is that? Like, I remember the big kids, I got to sit at the back cause my sister and my brother, but I didn't understand what sex was. So I went home one day and was like, mom, dad, like what's sex? And they

were not ready to hear that from a fucking second grader. So they told, they ended up just being like, it's when someone hugs and kisses. So I showed up to class the next day and I told everyone in class that I had just had sex with my dad that morning because he had hugged me goodbye for school. And I was like, I had sex with my dad this morning. Based on my teacher's facial reaction, I knew this was a mistake right away. Alex, come with me, sweetie. And walked me out of the room to the principal's office. And they sat me down, called my parents. And my parents literally had to come to the school. And my mother, I've never seen my mom look so horrified. So although it was my mistake,

really, it was my fucking parents fault. So I've never had sex with my dad. But I have hugged him question 21 what's your favorite movie quote oh definitely from bridesmaids oh fuck it's spewing out of me like lava and she's like has diarrhea literally she's like up on the sink and then Kristen Wiig is like shitting in the toilet and like Melissa McCarthy is literally up on the fucking sink shitting her brains out. Yeah, that one. That was pretty good. Question 22. What's the strangest thing in your refrigerator?

What is the strangest thing in my refrigerator? Mold. Question 23. What was Call Her Daddy almost named great question it actually came down to two call her daddy or the voodoo clam doo-doo clam. Oh my God. Daddy gang, you literally were, you guys were almost, you guys were almost called, I can't even say it. You guys were almost called the clam clan. Like clam chowder soup. The clam clan. What's up, clam clan clan this is your lead crustacean your main

oyster the big oh it's al coming at you live with that goddamn voodoo clam question 24 when is the time you tried something new tell me a time that you tried something new. Okay. Tried something new. Would you guys rather me tell you about the first time that I went surfing or the first time that I masturbated with a toothbrush? Clam clan, you know what you want. You know what you want, you sick fucks. Yeah, the first time I ever really started masturbating was with my electric toothbrush. It was of those like oral bee delights 10 out of 10 dentists recommended 11 out of 10 clitoral simulation

Still to this day. I will not lie Sometimes I think about like bringing it back in just for nostalgia and the reminiscing on it But it really is quite amazing if you flip that thing over the back of the head and you put it on your clit That buzz is amazing. And when you get you know how the toothbrushes give you the little like 90 second buzz buzz you finished. That's basically when I also would finish because it gives that extra like, and it really powers up. What I did realize though, that I needed to graduate to a actual vibrator was the moment that I woke up in the morning and I walked into the bathroom and I looked at Slim Shady and then I zeroed in on his mouth and he was in fact using that orange Oral-B toothbrush to

brush his teeth. How that pussy taste, baby? So yeah, then I ordered a vibrator. Question 25. What's a beauty product you can't live without? This is the easiest question you've asked me today. Burt's Bees pomegranate chapstick. It gives a little color to the lips. If I could have a second one, could I have a second one? No. Okay, fuck you. I'm still gonna have a second one. It would be bronzer. Currently, I'm using the Hoola bronzer. Question 26. What is something that you're looking forward to? Without a doubt, I am so fucking excited for Vegas. I have literally never been to fucking Vegas. I have never been on a private plane.

And I also haven't had all of my friends in a group setting in this long. So it's going to be really fucking fun. I'm excited to celebrate. And now like the most immediate thing I'm excited for is right when I finish recording this, I'm getting in the car and I'm going to fucking LAX and I am picking up Big Lair from Chicago. She's touching down and we're going to start fuckingX and I am picking up big layer from Chicago. She's touching down and we're just gonna start fucking shit up

and prepping for the Vegas fucking weekend. And as much fun as this has been, sir, I'm realizing it feels right in my heart and in my vagina to have Lauren ask me the last 27th question for my 27th birthday. I'm going to fucking LAX. Bye. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. It is currently a parking lot at LAX. So Lauren, I'll see you in 45 fucking minutes. Excuse me, sir. Can you give me this lane? I'm trying to podcast.

Sir, beep, beep. Does my beeper not work? Oh, it does. Oh my God. This guy's literally driving a Denali HD and he needs an actual stool attached to his fucking car to get up into his car. Bro, you're Denali HD. Oh my God. He has a toothpick in his mouth. His mustache is in fact touching the window where are we now we're at terminal b hello hi sweetie hi so are you outside um i'm still waiting on my bag oh okay okay no this is good to know because i'm about to get butt fucked okay okay i just know that i'm gonna have to wait take another lap yeah so i'm actually gonna try to like be an asshole and park somewhere until i get kicked out and just keep doing that and then just text me immediately when you get your bag oh here's one maybe maybe not how many did you bring just two yes there's one okay okay um nope not mine that That's not mine. Alright, I will see you soon.

Okay, bye. Is there someone with a whistle? Oh, it is. The woman that's kicking me out. Big Lair. Where are you at, girlfriend? Oh, I see her! Oh, I see her! Beep, beep, beep!

There she is! I'm back. She's back. I'm back. She's back, baby. I just feel like I'm home. Okay, wait. This is so fucking random, and then I'll fill you in later,

but I'm literally recording the end of my podcast right now as we're sitting in LA. Oh, hey, Daddy Gay. This is that. Yes. Okay. I know you have no context. Ask me the last fucking question of the episode so we can go to fucking Vegas. Question 27.

Are you gonna have sex on the private plane? Let's fucking go! Oh my god, Daddy Gang, that is it for this week's episode. I'm sitting in LAX traffic. Laryn is here.

We are going to be chartering up the fucking PJ. Mile high club, baby. And I will be getting my pussy fucked on the PJ. Daddy gang, you know the drill. I will see you fuckers in Vegas next Wednesday. Woo! Hey, uh, where's my invite? I'm so pretty like, be on my pedal bike, be on my little scrunch, be on my echo whites. He's saying, Nikki, don't stop.

You're the bestest. And I just become enough to top as bestest Yeah, I took Molly before my plane that's amazing that's so classic we um, but how was your flight