Call Her Daddy - This is your sign, text him.

Episode Date: September 26, 2021

Mini mini mini minaaaaaaaaaay. Daddy Gang, we have much to discuss this week. What are the rules when it comes to nude etiquette? Do you have to delete your old nudes when a new partner comes along or are you able to build yourself a portfolio that lasts forever? Ah the classic stalemate situation, and no I’m not fucking talking about chess. I’m talking about the moment when you are so invested in the game of “who can give less fucks” but someone has to make a move. Well, this is your sign…text him. While we are here, why not also talk about the rules of threesomes, when to write in your diary (yes you read that correctly) and how to make the most of that post sex moment. Enjoy Daddies! 

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy hello hello it's another mini episode i was actually about to go with that hillary duff song you know hey now hey now and then it just completely took a fucking spin and a dip and it flopped on its fucking face. Welcome back to another fucking mini episode of Call Her Daddy. Daddy gang, I'm emotional, I'm happy, and I'm fucking excited. Why, Alex? Well, you already know why. If you guys listened to last week's or this past week's episode of Call Her Daddy, I got caught photoshopping. You know, this is the thing. Sometimes I forget the impact. I speak, I press upload, I flop on the couch and I fucking enjoy a good night getting fucked by my boyfriend. No, me fucking my boyfriend. That's how it's been the past couple of nights. I've been really feeling it.

I'm horny, let's fuck. What am I saying? The point is, is that I've been feeling... What was I saying? I'm happy. That's what I was saying. I'm happy. I'm having great sex.

My boyfriend and I are in a good role. I released this episode. And listen, sometimes I release episodes and it's like, damn, like great episode, Al, like see you next week. But then there's always those special episodes that I don't forget. Kind of like the Orna Guralnik one or the I Have a Boyfriend episode or the Anna Lynn McCord episode, the Nico Tortorella episode. There's episodes that genuinely affect people, which is fucking great. I definitely admit like in the beginning of this career, I wasn't coming on like, all right, time to shake the masses and like really affect people's lives

and like change their perspective on things. But I feel really fucking happy. After I released the I Got Caught Photoshopping episode, the amount of people DMing me saying they took the likes and comments off of their Instagram was thousands of people. Thousands of people. I could tell by your DMs. Daddy Gang was literally saying, holy fucking shit, Thank God. Your self-worth is not predicated on the amount of likes or dislikes or lack of comments or influx of comments that you get on a day-to-day basis. Social media kind of doesn't mean fucking shit and it shouldn't affect your self-worth. And if it is, that's okay. It's normal, but just find within yourself how to reel it the fuck in.

So thank you guys for listening. Also, if you didn't fucking listen to that episode you're like hey al you're speaking fucking gibberish go listen to my episode i got caught photoshopping now I know it's not Christmas yet but I wish it was I love Christmas season it's the season of fucking giving bitches okay and what I noticed in the DMs is you were giving back to me this week by you writing to me telling me like on the real like fuck Alex this episode was great and I hear you and I I'm with you on this I think it's time for me to give back okay we're gonna take a little trip together you know a class trip and I'm it's on me baby I'm fucking paying for it okay you just sit back you relax you get comfy fucking cozy I am about to butcher this but what how do I say it let's play it hold on she always sounds drunk happy fucking holidays bitches we're going to motherfucking France.

What the fuck is up? We're going to fucking France, bitches. Questions. Questions. The motherfucking way, baby. Questions of the week, bitches. It's about you today daddy gang enjoy your fucking sunday relax recline maybe pull out your vibrator start masturbating listen to this i'll bring my octave down take out that vibrator and enjoy some questions of the week. Okay, daddy gang, today is about you. Question one. Hi, daddy. My question for you is about nude etiquette. I feel like I haven't talked about nudes in a hot minute on Call Her Daddy. Is it weird to keep old nudes that you

sent between you and your ex after you've broken up. Nope. I do. In my last relationship, I was averaging seven nudes per day. Jesus fucking Christ. And when we ended things, I put them all in a hidden folder as you should, sweetie. Now I'm seeing someone. So I'm wondering, is it weird that I still have them? But also I put in so much work to have that many each day for 10 months. I know when I was seeing this previous guy, he had exes nude still on his phone and he refused to delete all of mine. But is it weird that I kind of want to keep them on my phone in the hidden folder, especially now that I'm with someone else? Let me what you think okay love you daddy why do i feel like it sounds confusing but from the contextual clues you're saying that you're keeping your own nudes although like half of the

paragraph starts to sound like you're keeping his nudes but you're feeling ashamed that it's it's your nudes right make it your fucking background baby, there are some nights where I go to pull up Pornhub. It's not doing it for me. I go into a different site. I'm looking for something more amateur. I'm looking for anything to get me off. And all of a sudden, I go back to the nudes that I used to take for Slim Shady, for Door Number Three, for The Canadian. All of a fucking sudden my clip is fucking throbbing and pumping baby and I'm jacking off to myself. There have been times that I've come across old nudes and I literally get turned on because it brings me back to a memory of where I was when I took that nude and like fuck no you should never feel guilty for keeping your own fucking nudes if

anything sweetie this is the word of God. It's responsible. You're literally being responsible for keeping prized possessions, fucking NFTs up in this bitch motherfucker. Okay. Keep your nudes safe and sound. That's always been the lesson here on Call Her Daddy and it hasn't changed today. There's absolutely no reason that you should feel any type of guilt. Also, I'm assuming the average listener of Call Her Daddy ranges between 18 to about 30. You, sweetie, are never going to look better, okay? And we got to own that because I also can guarantee you, your 65-year-old saggy tits are thanking you. Great work. Last but not least, seven nudes a day for 10 months seven nudes a day for 10 months

that's got to be like over 2 000 nudes sweetie you are remarkable you have work ethic you have determination you have grit also put that shit on an external hard drive that's the only fucking extra advice i can give you because god forbid you lose your phone or something happens to the phone you gotta have that shit backed up so if anything my advice would be get that fucking shit locked and loaded and have it in multiple locations you gotta save it all for a rainy fucking day number two hello father my friend was having a full-on affair her fiance, who is also my friend. Now she wants to go on like nothing ever happened, which puts me in an awkward situation. Is it fucked up that I no longer want to be her friend after this?

I was all for it because I thought she was going to leave him. But when she found out the other guy didn't want to be with her, she decided to give her fiance another chance. Fuck. First of all, it's not fucked up. You're not fucked up. You're frustrated because your friend is demonstrating some questionable morals here. All right, Cynthia? I think this is a situation that I've learned in my many, many years

of having an opinion. It'll always get you in trouble, but you should always speak up. However, in some cases, you should write it in your fucking diary. In my opinion, you write this one in your diary. I've learned my lesson where getting involved in someone's relationship is never smart unless it's literally your best friend and you catch her boyfriend at the bar cheating and you're like oh my fucking god Michaela he's literally cheating in front of my eyes and you take a video like there's so many dynamics in a relationship that you don't understand like you can't begin to insert yourself in the middle of a relationship that isn't yours I know you you feel guilty. That sucks. But again, everyone

fucks up. Like literally 50% of fucking marriages ended in divorce. And a good fucking percentage of that is probably fucking cheating. Like this isn't like she killed someone. Listen, you can go fucking tell the dude, but they'll play that out in your head. You're going to tell him, then he may stay with her. And then you're almost to blame like you don't want to put yourself through more don't own the guilt though you know some fucked up information but it's really just fucked up about that person and like you got to move on and like let him figure it out for himself unless you want to literally be completely done with that relationship and you don't care fucking go for it send him a, tell him whatever, and then peace the fuck out and like just expect to maybe not talk to them again.

As I'm getting older, I am observing more things that friends do that I personally, whether it's that I don't agree with or that I don't, not condone, I sound like a fucking parent, but like it's just not how I would move. And that's not a decision I would make. And I, and I, there are some that I literally like have a hard time respecting, but voicing that if it has nothing to do with me or no effect on me, I feel like it's a waste of energy. And it's kind of that person's journey. Like we're all on our own fucking journeys. And the more that you try to step in and like affect other people's shit it's just gonna fucking affect you like focus on your own shit i'm sure you've got your own how's your dating life literally what's going

on in your dating life focus more of your energy on that shit and less on other people although again i get it you're trying to be a good friend. Maybe in this situation, look around. She's not being a good friend to you. So take your energy and put it elsewhere. Okay, next question. Daddy, I need your help. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. And towards the beginning of our relationship, I was very open about my past. I'm bi-curious and have had two threesomes in my last relationship and when I was single before meeting my current boyfriend. He was completely understanding, which made me fall even more in love with him. After lots of discussions, my boyfriend expressed interest in

the topic and mentioned he wanted to try out the kink thing because he thought it would be hot to see me with another girl. Of course, I was down. Fast forward a couple months later, we have had two threesomes and tried out the whole cuck holding thing, which my boyfriend discovered he is super into and wants to explore more. He thinks it's super hot and brings it up almost every day. Now, we're in a tough spot because I introduced him to this lifestyle. So I feel responsible, but I don't want to be having these conversations daily, even monthly. I like to go about this stuff more spontaneously. If we're out one night and pick up a guy or a girl, et cetera, that's great. I've explained to him, I'm not wanting to make our kinks a part

of our everyday life. And I'm down to do it on occasion wanting to make our kinks a part of our everyday life and I'm down to do it on occasion, which he understands, but now he thinks he has an addiction to it and wants to see a sex therapist. I don't know how to not feel fully responsible for this and I don't know how to have a better outlook on us having fun more frequently than I used to. Please give any suggestions. Okay, this is my advice. I feel like I feel like your boyfriend kind of sounds like he's like drunk in a candy shop and he's fucking running around and he's having the time of his life right now because his eyes were just open to a complete new sexual experience. For me, here's a personal example. I used to hate getting eaten out it was just I mean I wouldn't

say hate but kind of like I always just felt like it was a waste of time because I never felt like my partner was doing it well enough and I just wasn't into it and so I would 1000% prefer them either fingering me using a vibrator or them or we just fucking when I met my boyfriend I literally felt like I saw God because all of a sudden the first time that Mr. Sexy Zoo Man went down on me I came I literally had not had an orgasm from getting eaten out until I met my boyfriend my current boyfriend I was addicted like I would be watching fucking tv and it's four o'clock and like he's finishing a zoom meeting and I'm like do you want to eat me out like it became so addicting he's gonna be like please stop I'm sweating um it became addicting because it I kept like fantasizing about it during

the day and because I had never even really enjoyed it in the past. So I think he's experiencing something that he's never experienced before and he's liking it. Because think about it, it's either you enjoy it or there's usually like a visceral reaction of like, I never want to fucking do that again. That ruined our relationship, etc. So the positive is that something you enjoy, so does your boyfriend. Okay, so we start there. Now the excessiveness, you can work on that. So the excessiveness is back to like the kid in a candy shop. I'm pretty sure I said a drunk kid in the candy shop. No, just a kid in the candy shop, folks. He's excited and he feels probably overwhelmingly connected to you right now.

When you're experimenting sexually, you feel closer to your partner. So if anything, no, this is not on you that he needs to go see a sex therapist. Again, if he's so into it, be like, babe, you have to understand that I want to keep it so it's like tucked away in that fantasy drawer. And when we're going to do it, it's like tucked away in that fantasy drawer and when we're going to do it it's like this fun spontaneous thing because that also is an aspect for me that gets me off like you can literally say hey I want to make sure this stays special if he wants to go see a sex therapist I would suggest you offer to go with him. And listen, if someone ever says, I think I want to go to a therapist,

don't discourage that because this is a twist I just thought of. And this may so not be the case, but I'm just going to put my psych hat on here for a second. He could be saying that acting like he's obsessed. Maybe he's feeling insecure and he doesn't like it he's overdoing it every day talking it over and over and he can't stop talking about it maybe he's literally trying to hype himself up and talk about it and and normalize it for himself so he feels fully comfortable in it because he already knows you are comfortable in that space he's the newcomer to the space so maybe you both are feeling vulnerable and you just need to communicate. Okay, next.

So I've been seeing this guy for a very long time. And every time we have sex afterwards, it's like a get up and go to the bathroom type situation. And it's just the end of it. We don't end up cuddling or anything like that. Is that normal? I don't know. It's not like awkward, but it's also not like a casual transition, if that makes sense. Any tips for transitioning from having awesome ass sex to, I guess, after being done without it being awkward?

This is a great question. I don't think post-sex should ever feel awkward with someone that you are having sex with regularly. However, this is what I would do. Well, my boyfriend usually will get up and go get a towel to wipe me off if he didn't fucking splooge his entire guts inside of me. And then after he wipes me off, I go to the bathroom to pee so that I don't get a UTI. And then he's usually laying in bed. Listen, I get extremely hot after sex. And I think everyone could agree they probably do too. And so I don't want to be like fucking cuddling after sex I am sweating my ass off I'm probably exhausted because a bitch put in some fucking work and if I just came like I just want to kind of like enjoy

the relaxation so if anything I think your connection doesn't have to even be physical you were just being so physical in bed together I think it's fun to like turn on a tv show be like oh my god we need a new show to watch like almost make the after moment an extensional bonding moment but it doesn't have to be physical you literally were just fucking and I don't even like when my boyfriend tries to cuddle me which he does every time after sex and I'm like babe I need like 10 fucking minutes so I would find a bonding thing that you can do post-, which is literally my go to is either talking. What a concept. Or we turn on a TV show that we're like, wait, I want to watch.

Like, let's find a new show together. I think that also the verbal communication is another form of intimacy that you can elevate. So like you just said you had great sex, right? So tell him that. Some people are maybe hesitant or timid or afraid to like say out loud that the sex was good for fear. Maybe like did the partner think the same? If you're fucking this dude on the regular, the sex is fucking good, right? So maybe you come back from the bathroom and you say how you felt. Babe, that sex was so good. The way like you first started eating me out and rubbing my clit. I was so turned on by the time we were having sex. I like that orgasm was insane.

Thank you. I always like to thank my boyfriend. He thinks it's so funny. I'm like, thank you so much. He's like, why are you thanking me? Because it's true. Thank you. That was great.

And maybe you can make like a light joke of it. But first, like detail a little bit of what you liked. And then listen, I don't know one man that doesn't like the fucking scratchies. Okay, the fucking scratchies. And it sounds so fucking lame. But hear me the fuck out. If you start rubbing like lightly with your nails like scratching on the guy's arm or his back get fucking in there and just like he's gonna be like oh my god wait keep

doing that scratching in his hair like I do that all the time and my boyfriend will turn literally turn his back to me and be like oh my god wait do my whole back maybe you don't want to make the effort you want them to make the effort I feel like we're kind of done with that make the fucking effort you make the fucking move You want to be more intimate post sex do it Don't wait for him. Whoa, like that was whoa This was great. And what am I gonna eat for fucking dinner tonight? Like initiate it for your fucking self okay next question hi father i have been sexting this guy for a while and i want to have sex with him but i know his body count is over 50 i I wonder how you know that. He says he gets tested but refuses to wear a condom. What do I do without getting an STD? Dude, whoever refuses to wear a

condom is not worth fucking. Like if you know this dude, listen, if he's from your fucking town and every single one of your friends has fucked this dude dude that's how you know this or he told you whichever option it was as to why you know his body count and you want to have sex with him but he won't use a condom don't have sex with him like listen i will say this and i fucking hate that i'm saying this but like there's a lot of dudes and women that like fuck so many people and are so careful about that shit and get tested afterwards you're not taking someone's word for it though good for him good for him if he's never fucking had an std and he's fucked a hundred fucking girls and he's trying to convince you something if your little bitch boy lie detector is going up or even if you're just nervous because what

you don't want to get a fucking std claps all a fucking round town for you sweetheart that's so dope that you don't wear condoms i'm not fucking you without one so figure it out and that's literally given the ultimatum if you want to be 100 certain you're not going to get an std like no worries no doubt you don't wake up the next day with fucking itchy badgie you don't have sex without a condom the raw dog moment is spectacular and it's unbelievable and it's an opportunity that everyone deserves to experience at one point in their life but not with some fucking dude that you've just been sexting doesn't owe you shit you're not in a relationship with and you're just gonna take his fucking word at face value that he doesn't

have an std after every single person in town knows and has sniffed his fucking dick left and right and could pick it out of the fucking lineup i don't think so fuck him also there's so many dicks out there and there's ones without stds or potential stds fuck that shit not literally no don't fuck that shit his pleasure is never worth risking your health also neither is yours you can get pleasure elsewhere you can find a dick with a condom on it okay hi daddy Hi daddy. I was seeing this guy and I still have feelings for him. We watch every single one of each other's stories on Instagram, but we're both stubborn and like playing hard to get, but I want to make him jealous so he knows he's not the only one. Is it cliche to send him a nude and then unsend it and

say along the lines of sorry, that wasn't't meant for you please help me make him call me daddy sweetie sweetie sweetie I I'm gonna go ahead and say if you accidentally send him a nude um no nope we don't need to go as far as to make him jealous by giving him the fucking pussy and the tits and the asshole. Not worthy. Not worthy. If he's not sliding in to make it a fucking actual gesture that he gives a fuck and he wants you. Nobody gets free fucking nudes. OK, this is the thing. I don't like that. you're just like rewarding him for nothing even there's so many better ways to make him jealous without literally basically giving him the pussy via a photo this is what I would do you're showing your cards too much here this is what you're

gonna do sweetie okay let's recruit another player into this game. Phone a fucking friend. We need a friend who you know that he also watches their stories. And we need this friend to be the ultimate friend and be ready to take 19 different fucking videos of you. And they're going to capture a video or a photo of you looking effortlessly gorgeous and sexual and hot and fucking irresistible. And I say effortless again, this is not a photo shoot. Okay. We don't want it to be like, dear God, she's trying so hard. Again, it's important to really give effortless vibes. And also don't have your friend like tag you in this and you repost it. Like it's just on your friends page. You give no fucks. Maybe you

happen to like walk by in a fucking bikini, handing someone to drink and you look so fucking good. And listen, take the fucking video 90 fucking times. If you need to hell, maybe walk by fucking half naked with your ass out. You get the vibe unintentional, unplanned, and yet so planned and let him see that shit and get jealous. There you go. Okay. You don't look desperate. You don't have to make the effort and you don't have to be the one reaching out. What I would say in my more, in my more, um, wise years, text him like, how long are you going to play this game? Like, listen, I can play it with you. We can, we can do it with the best of them. Okay. I've been doing it for years, but I don't do that

anymore. If there's someone that you are into and you say you guys are playing this like hard to get and you're both being stubborn. I remember when I used to say that and I would waste six months of my fucking life on something that's quote unquote stubborn it's really a waste of time see what the fucking actuality is are you guys meant to fucking whether it's hookup date whatever it's gonna be be a great one night stand whatever it is or are you not because if it gets to the point where you're doing this every weekend with your friend like quick okay do this for Brian and it's like another fucking video and he still hasn't reached out. Like, yeah, I would take that as a sign. Again, I'm totally down for a one offer thirst trappy, see if he reaches out vibe. But that could also like that could also be a sign that there's a couple of things. Number one, Brian doesn't like you. Number two, he does, but he's intimidated

that you don't reach out and you keep posting this hot fucking shit and he thinks you're out of his league. Or three, I don't know. we'll never know unless you fucking ask so i would say text him saturday night if you don't want to be like five o'clock like what are your plans for saturday night text him at like 10 and be like what are you up to tonight if you know he's out and like just fucking go for it life is so fucking short i don't give a fuck about waiting and i don't do stubborn anymore i do aggressive and to the fucking point. We don't got time to fucking waste, daddy gang. There are global pandemics here, okay?

Daddy gang, that is another mini, mini, mini, mini, tiny, dainty, little, amazing flower child of a motherfucking mini episode. I am so excited for you guys to hear this week's Wednesday upcoming episode. I sat down with someone that it's not even an interview. It's like a conversation. I definitely found a new friend in LA, which is very exciting. And I'm very excited to, we talk about so much fucking shit. The interview literally went two fucking hours. It may be a two part series. Let's just say everyone asked for this. Stay tuned. Get fucking excited and enjoy the rest

of your Sunday. Relax, unwind, maybe go fucking meditate and sweetie fucking text Brian right now. Daddy gang, you know the motherfucking drill. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday.