Call Her Daddy - What Happens in The Hamptons Does NOT Stay in The Hamptons

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

Hello, you have come to the right place to clear up any controversy regarding Father Cooper’s recent Fourth of July trip to the Hamptons. Kicked out of a bar? YUP…and don’t worry she is giving you the full story. Not only is she detailing the physical removal from a bar, but she is also reporting so many more stories that you sneaky little bastards missed with your iPhones. This episode is sure to be unlike any other and contains recordings from bar bathrooms, the Montauk highway, and hungover in bed. No one is safe and nothing is left out. So buckle up (grab a drink) and get ready daddy gang because you’re going to the Hamptons with your dad.

Hello, everyone. You'll be later if I do. Oh, my voice sounds like this, but what I would like to say is July 21st, exclusive on Spotify. The only place you'll be able to listen to this podcast is on Spotify. So drop whatever the fuck you're doing right now. You're like, you're literally listening. I'm listening to your podcast. Go press follow on Spotify of Call Her Daddy. Download Spotify. It's fucking free. I don't want there to be any dads left behind. I love you. It's free.

Go download Spotify. Good night. Goodbye. Let's do this episode. What is up, daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex cooper with call her daddy well would you just look at that welcome back to another episode of call her daddy daddy is is fucking home. I am officially in New York City and I am fucking pumped. If you guys remember, I told you last week, we are about to engage in a two week bender. This episode is about to be a little bit like a vlog style. I have never done a podcast like this. I don't know if anyone's ever

done it. I'm going to try it out. Okay. I want you guys to feel like my New York trip. You are drunk. You are hungover with me. You're like, keep that energy to your fucking self, Alex. I am so excited to be here. I'm not going to lie. I literally got off the plane and almost started fucking crying like a little baby back bitch because I just got so emotional. I'm like, holy fuck, I missed this place. New York is so familiar by this point. I know my go-to bodegas and my delis and my fucking curbs that I've thrown up on. I'm like, God, I miss the smell of the fucking garbage. I missed New York traffic. I literally was like in the Uber getting emotional because I'm like, oh my God. And the man is like, oh man, we'll be there soon. Don't worry. Sorry

about the traffic. I'm like, no, I'm crying because I'm happy. I missed and the man is like oh man we'll be there soon don't worry sorry about the traffic I'm like no I'm crying because I'm happy I missed it I wanted to sit in three hours of traffic it just feels good to be back guys and I am not gonna lie as I'm sitting here I'm in the Bowery Hotel right now Lauren is getting ready for tonight say hi um I got emotional because I think I'm like dude I fucking love New York so much did I fuck up I'm like did I should I have not moved like I made it like my decision to move during quarantine after going through like two breakups in the city I was like get me the fuck out of here and now I'm like wait am I about to text my boyfriend being like, hi, I'm moving back to New York. So figure out what you're going to do. But Henry and I are popping over to the big fucking apple. That's literally what's going through my head right now. I'm about to go out tonight, but those are just my initial feelings like, fuck,

am I about to come back? I don't know. Anyways, first stop of the night, we're going to dinner, but I'm not going to lie. The biggest question of the night, and we're starting off this fucking episode. Here we go. The biggest question is, will I in fact end up at Marky Nightclub tonight? Stay tuned. Good morning. good morning hello hello dude tag me in that hello hello hello daddy gang i'm currently in bed with another person sir say hi hi daddy gang lauren and i woke up we both missed therapy we literally woke up um my extensions that i did actually bring some clippings are in the bathroom knotted up lauren and i are laying in bed with no pants on and uh let's just say I did, in fact, return to the good old marquee nightclub.

I felt like I saw I was having like flashes, like I was seeing things of like the bouncer. I kept thinking I was seeing the bouncer from my. Can you guys imagine? It's like bouncer Bruno and I lock eyes. He like still works there and he sees me. He's like, not this bitch again. No, I didn't get kicked out, which was great. We actually had a really good time.

Who knew Marquis has a bar? Like we were literally like, we literally have always been table rats. And so for the first time in my life i was like let's go to the marquee bar and i met so many daddy gang there shout the fuck out you guys were amazing and that was a wednesday night now it's thursday i have a meeting i'm gonna go try to make my ex-boyfriend have sex with me. Dude, Lauren this morning was like, wait, what do you have at 1 o'clock? I was like, I have a meeting with Forbes. She was like, and I was like, fuck, like I need to like get my life together.

And Lauren was like, okay, perfect. You have a meeting with Forbes and I'm trying to go get dick. Tell them why you want to go meet up with him. Okay, so the last time we had sex, which was December, I left New York like right beforemas before i went on vacation and it was like it was hands down the best sex of my entire life like it was like angry and like fuck you and like i hate you you know what i mean though like the best type of like fuck you sex i think we were both like I'm gonna make you orgasm and you're gonna remember that orgasm and so I would love to have that today so my plan I text when I was texting him um I was like like I'll be in the city like do you still want to meet up and he was like yeah like do you

want to do like I was like you want to get coffee and like go for a walk and he was like well actually like I can't like walk right now my foot's hurt so i'm like oh your foot's hurt you just stay put i will come to the coffee shop that is connected to your apartment because i don't want you to walk i don't want you to hurt your foot and like maybe you know way through the coffee i don't covet i don't feel comfortable using the restroom in this coffee shop like can we just go back mind you the apartment he lives in is the apartment like we used to live in together he still lives in that's gonna trigger dude i actually think it's so smart because like people may be wondering like wait lauren like i thought you were so over it like seven year like breakup like you're free like this is the thing sex with an ex is better sometimes

than with a boyfriend because it's but however and let me be very clear your sex with him is going to be good however if the sex then got consistent with the ex and it would go back to being shit do you know what i mean like if you start having sex with your ex-boyfriend all the time then it's just not going to be as good it needs to be random one-offs that are so heated in the moment it's so spontaneous fuck you i hate your guts like our relationship sucked fuck off and then it's like and then it's like knowing you won't also see each other and you're not going to talk to each other again for a while no i literally like we're gonna have sex and like well no okay please pray for me that

we have sex when was the last time you had sex with some she? What was that meet-up sex like? Dude, he's like, please stop talking about me. I'm sorry, but those toxic ones, you can't help it. You have to talk about the toxic dick. Two years passed, and we had not spoken to each other, and we matched on Raya. So we meet up, and we had a crazy night, and we were having crazy fucking sex like i just

remember being so psychotic like i was saying like oh my fucking god i haven't seen this dick in so long i want to like call me a fucking whore and like call me your slut and like did you miss this pussy and like blah blah and we had crazy sex yeah guys then i started fucking him like consistently and we thought that we were gonna make it work and that we were gonna fucking date again and then it got so convoluted and fucked up and it was exactly why we broke up the first time so the moral of the story is fucking your ex has to have a time limit on it which is basically close to impossible to do sometimes unless you're literally physically distanced no clock strikes 30 minutes no no you're

not putting a timer on your phone you're like that's it we gotta wrap it up no this is the issue for you lauren you're in a good position because you do not live here anymore so sketchy territory that would be too scary so in in the best way like you are about to one and done this fucker and then you're leaving and you have no option. And like, even if you're like, Ooh, like that. No, I also know you, I wouldn't be like fully allowing you to go to this. If you were like anywhere in your feels like you have zero feelings left. So it's like, great.

You're just like in it for the sex. You're a monster. I love it. Mine was different because Slim Shady and I both lived in New York and in it for the sex. You're a monster. I love it. Mine was different because Slim Shady and I both lived in New York and then it took the turn. The weeknight hangout got introduced and I remember that moment. It was a big moment because I could have just kept the boundary of, no, like let's just see each other on Friday night. But I went. And actually now saying that, I think we need a more definitive line.'s like it's the rule of sixes the first six would be it needs to be if you're fucking your ex six months or less post

breakup because you still have that like hatred lingering in there Lauren like you're saying of like oh I hate you we can have hate sex but after that six months mark say you come back in a year together maybe the hate almost wore off and then it's like oh I don't see the hatred anymore maybe we can make this work again like literally me and Slim Shady maybe we can make this work again two years oh my god all the memories are flooding in and you forget how much you hate that dick so then it's almost like six years you you got a time window of six months or six years if you don't get in in the six months go to the six year mark because you will literally be different people and if you reconnect and you fuck after the six years

that's probably like you're meant to be together sorry so hurry up everybody scrambling for six months you're like fuck gotta get my fucking gotta get my fucking okay so lauren and i are gonna get what he said hey i never heard from you so i made plans plans to go to Blake and Blaze. So I'm on the way there now. Fuck you! Fuck you! Wait, what? He's leaving for the beach at 7.30 today. At 7.30, it's 11 a.m.

So he just canceled on you. Fuck you! Oh! Fuck you! Dude, this is the thing. I'm enraged. I can tell. Dude, the thing about this is Lauren's ex-boyfriend just canceled on her.

I think that I would say if we were playing a game here, don't answer. Because we'll see him. You can get him. Who gives a fuck? Dude, read them your fucking text. I'm staying at the Bowery Hotel. I can look something up between the two of us. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. We can just get coffee and bagels as well let me figure out my exact work schedule thirst and i'll let you know timing i'm so excited to be back in new york

city and he goes okay yeah let's do something simple versus heavy i may or not eat before i may or not eat before unless there's some healthier options at the spot i said oh my gosh you were skinny person now what wait and so what yeah wait why also is he telling you he's not gonna eat before he's like do they have granola there like just double checking the menu if not we gotta switch the loco like what wait text him back you asshole what did you say you said oh cool i think you have to be up front who gives a fuck we're not playing games literally say um so am i not seeing you today you've literally nothing to lose send the double text who gives a fuck that's the vibe anybody listening if you're like oh should i always know what's the goal lauren you want to have sex you want to see him fucking do it you have nothing

to lose we don't give a fuck bombs away i sent it guys suck we will check back in um fuck someone in spite of him now okay great so lauren's gonna try to fuck someone um next time you guys hear from us we will be in the hamptons goodbye okay i'm now officially in the hamptons um lauren's boyfriend did not answer and so she's oh my god her boyfriend didn't answer sorry ex-boyfriend jesus christ um so he is now officially blocked he's blocked this is the update of our hamptons house there is a bushel is that saying the right word? What do we call it? Like there is a herd of men directly living next to us. And when I tell you, I'm literally, I'm sitting here staring at about eight men on a porch that is about to get a scary. I'm like, not nervous.

I'm excited for what is to come, but I'm also nervous. Like, what is this? To my boyfriend, I love you so much. Imagine like, listen, listen, this is how mature I'm getting. I was like, damn, like I'm gonna call him and tell him that there's literally an entire house of guys. There's a frat house, literally.

And I'm like, I can imagine if he was at a fucking Hamptons house with his friends and there's like eight fucking, yeah, a sorority house across the fucking way I would be like oh that's so cute you're moving you're leaving so he was very mature about it and he just told me to lock all the doors and turn on the alarm I'm like okay they're not like I was like oh yeah yeah they're like so creepy they're so creepy weirdos anyways they look really hot and so we'll be updating you guys but we're gonna go to this bar um the gray lady tonight thankfully the woman that spray tan does last night is like has the hookup of like some bouncer at the door so instead of me being

the enemy to the bouncers now I'm hopefully gonna like get it in and be friends with them. Okay. Over and out. Well, good morning, everyone. We officially had our first night out in the Hamptons and it is now the morning and I am feeling it. There's so many things that are happening. Lauren, what are you eating? A grape leaf at 11 a.m. in the morning. Okay, so let's get into the updates because there's really there's just one important one. I got kicked out of the bar. Yes, you heard that right. i got kicked out of a bar last night and you know what i'm fucking pissed about it because i was not on that marquee level i actually was fucking keeping it together and i got fucking kicked out uh let me tell you what happened

our driver ziggy picked us up love him he was like our fucking rock of gibraltar what anyway so we were at our first spot we were having fun but lauren and i were like not enough we gotta ramp it up let's go to this place called rush meyers i didn't know what it was but i was like everyone talks about it i want to go so we get in the car and we go to rush meyers and we show up and there's literally like it when i say sardines like sar fucking Dean's and there are literally bodies of people who's like checked up against the windows. And it's like, that's where you're going in. And so we, there's such a long line outside.

And like, I'm like, I don't fucking know anyone in the Hamptons. Like, does anyone know how to get into this place? So big Al does the only thing she can do. And she just tries to pull out her wallet and show a couple fifties. And I go up to the bouncer. I'm like, I'm really going to try to make good with the bouncers guys. I've learned my lesson from our key, like sauce them up, you know, like get comfy with the bouncers. I'm like, sir. And then I'm like, Oh, like, sir. And I pay this guy off and he lets us in. I'm like, jackpot. This is perfect. Like ladies, let's go. We have like,

six girls with us. so we go inside and we barely get inside guys this place is so fucking packed it's one of those places that one you can barely talk to people like that's not even fucking fun like we didn't even have fun like i'm like wait this is not fun let's go to the other place but we're like all right we want to feel what it's like so we get inside barely get inside and we're like shuffling we're doing like a little like koopy shuffle like we're like shuffle shuffle. We are getting like literally a square foot each minute. Finally, we start making it to the tables. And I remember Andy was like, my friend has a table.

If we could just get back there. We're like trying to crowd surf to get back there. We're like, how do we get back there? So after literally like 30 minutes of like piling through bodies to get back there, we see the table section and it looks literally terrifying. And so we're all kind of like, wait, do we even want to go in there? And so we're standing in the in-between, between like the bar area and the table section. We're all kind of like, fuck. I'm like, Andy, like, I don't know if I want to go back there. She's like, I'm going back there. Let's crowd surf to get back there. I'm like, no. And as we're all debating, If we want to go back there, a bouncer, not bouncer Bruno, but a bouncer. What was he?

He was like a Gerald. Like he was like, he was a Vinny. He was a Vinny. Oh, fucking hate Vinny's. He comes up to us and he's like, let me see your wristbands. And all of us kind of like looked out at our wrists and I'm like like I don't have a wristband I'm like hey where is my wristband and he's like you don't have wristbands you're out of here so I'm thinking okay who gives a fuck so we can't go into the VIP area like I don't give a fuck and then he's like no you're out of here and I'm like no I know like we don't have to go into VIP he's like no I'm you're out of the bar he opens the back door of the bar we just so happen to be standing right we're like wait wait wait hold up hold up this guy this

bouncer is literally telling all six of us to get the fuck out of the bar lauren is first to go all of a sudden i'm like standing my ground in the bar lauren's gone like lauren's like lauren's out into the night of the hamptons and andy and i are like going at it we're like what the fuck he was like like i've had it with you guys like oh my god you've had it with us like we just fucking met you like and we're like fucking losers that just paid to get in and now we're just getting kicked out like we're like what I'm like fuck like I really fucked this one up like full fucking losers like people are staring at us and like there's six girls just fully getting kicked out of this bar I'm like how is this happening to me again? Because this is a moment where I realized, Daddy Gang, I know there's a level in which marquee, the story I told,

listen, you guys, I know the boundary that I should get kicked out of a club. I will take myself out of that club. I'm aware. But in this moment, I felt slight slighted I felt wronged I was like I did not fuck up marquee level I did not fuck up marquee level like you cannot kick me out of this bar I deserve to be at this bar and I got kicked out still and there the six of us are no five because Lauren's gone um standing in the pouring rain with no dignity left and no fucking wristbands dude and then I think dude I'm pretty sure someone was like oh Dave Portnoy is here so I texted Dave and I'm like are you at Rushmire's because I'm like Dave will get me back in and Dave's like no like my girlfriend's like being like um whatever honestly Dave is probably in fucking Miami he's pretending like he's in the Hamptons Dave I already

know you're definitely still in fucking Miami finally I'm like I snap because dude there's no service in the Hamptons so I snap back into like reality mode and I'm like where's Lauren I'm literally like where's Lauren all of a sudden I see Lauren turn the corner with like a brigade of people including the head fucking bouncer that i just paid off and she's turning because we're in the back of the fucking building and lauren turns the corner and is like marching up with her fucking arms literally like swaying left and right and she's like hand in hand with the bouncer and i'm like jesus christ lauren what's going on and you're like i went and found the bouncer we're like getting back in and the bouncer that I paid off was like I'm so fucking sorry I did not give you guys wristbands I completely forgot and he's like I'm getting you

back in I'm getting you back in and we at that point my my hair is slicked back to the back of my fucking head I literally look so horrendous my spray tan is streaked and I'm like I don't even want to go back in man but then we're like all right let's just go back in for two seconds just for the pride of it like we gotta just step back in so we can step the fuck out but like we made that decision not Vinny fuck you so we left we called Ziggy up and we go literally back to the original bar that we were at. We continue to party. And then Lauren and I came home pretty late night and I made a sandwich. I made a ham and cheese sandwich.

I had grape leaves. You fucking weirdo. And then we went to bed. So that was our night last night. It was a nice little good. That was our kickoff to the Hamptons. Let's watch tv Lauren and I are sitting on the couch still we haven't moved we're still recovering um and we were just having girl talk I was like pick up the fucking microphone um she just admitted something to me okay and I think I commend her for the honesty and I think

it's something that a lot of you will be able to relate to as well Lauren basically just told me I blocked him I blocked my ex on everything Instagram his phone number everything Venmo Snapchat yes the whole thing Comcast Netflix but she was like I'm gonna be honest Lauren knows the entire friend group that he's with this weekend and where they are and she just like they're my friends i was at this trip last fourth of july yes and she was like and i've been looking at everyone's instagram stories like i've been like going to like whoever was tagged in this one girl's story i'm going to theirs like i'm checking to see if i can see him in stories and like i'll catch him in the background and like freeze the frame be like who is he standing next to what is he doing dude and

it's like I think you're thank you for saying that though because I was just saying to Lauren like I've done that I've caught my I've caught a boyfriend cheating doing that so it does well but again he's not your boyfriend I know he's your ex but like I want to just one normalize like I think it's okay to admit like everyone stalks and like it's but I think you're sitting here now being like I don't want to for the rest of this weekend and I wasn't this wasn't a habit I had been doing like I had and I was like whoa I feel like I'm like refreshing Instagram stories yeah and I feel like it's because you're in New York you just had a taste of potentially seeing him you're like now almost like regressing and you're like back to oh I'm full regressing right and it's like okay wait hold on your life has been great you're happy you're you just got kind of like sucked into this for a minute and I feel like that happens like we were just talking like

can you really even be friends with an ex I I thought I could, but apparently I don't think I can. I think the answer is no. Like, I literally do not see. Maybe if you have like a child together and it's like your fucking baby daddy and you have to be like civil, but even civil is different than friends. Yeah. is different than friends yeah and I think that you have really teetered a line of like trying to be friends with him because you guys see this is the fucked up thing I know I used to always joke and be like it's easier when someone cheats but like it's hard because like when you have a relationship that ended not in a tumultuous way and it was just like it ended and like it just wasn't meant to be it does weirdly

leave a door open that like cracked that like well we don't hate each other like we could still talk at times like I've known him so long like he's been such a big part of my life he was my best friend at one point like I want to make sure he's doing okay but that doesn't really seem possible to me when this person has also been like inside of you and like you guys used to fuck and like you know what I mean and like so I don't know we were just sitting here talking about like do you really think you can ever be friends with an ex and like I'm gonna go as far to say no because I've tried and I don't think you can be especially if you're trying to be open to new opportunities if like right now if

I think about myself that's why I ended things with door number three fully because it was like I can't we would have been like on good terms and like friendly quote-unquote but then I have my new boyfriend and what am I gonna do like still be friendly and have door number three casually texting me when like hey congrats on this on the Spotify deal or like, hey, this. It's like you can't you can't because then it doesn't leave room for like a new person to fully come in and be like 100 percent in your life. Wow. Preaching to me on this Saturday morning. We're really calming my Saturday morning scary. I know, like the drizzle of the rain.

We're both sitting here. Yeah, it's, I don't know. If you ever have Saturday morning scaries, just call up Big Al. She's got you. I've got you. I think there's two things to take from this. Anyone listening that's been like trying to be friends with an ex, take this as a sign. No, you don't need to be friends with an ex. Also with the stalking thing, I'm going to be honest.

I think that if you're still stalking an ex from the past, that says a lot about the lack of progress you've probably made in moving on. And I know that's hard to hear, but if you're still looking at someone from your past, why? I get it. They were part of your life, but like, no, no, no. Why are you still looking at them? That says that you haven't fully moved on. And the day that you stop going on your fake account and checking his profile and checking the new girl's profile that he's talking to is the day that you definitely can know, oh, I've moved on. Focus on the future, not the past. Okay. So the plan for the rest of the weekend, we're about to shower. And then we're going to meet up hopefully with a bunch of people and we will check back in

and hopefully it's another eventful night and we can come back tomorrow morning and give you the goddamn tea. Ziggy, see you soon. Over and out. Good morning, everyone. I officially do not have a voice left. And I'm so, I would say horrified, but honestly, just so proud. So proud. Oh, yeah. Happy Fourth of July. Fuck. I'm like, I can't go out another night. Like, oh, it's Fourth of July. I have to. It's Sunday now. So this is we've now gone out two nights in a row first night we got kicked out of Rushmire's and now another night under our belts and this one was maybe more shocking than

the last I'm going to play for you the voice memos that Lauren and i took last night one in the bathroom of and then on the highway of montauk and then in our kitchen while we were drunkenly eating late night it is so shocking what just transpired here you go bathroom go okay and then Lauren, tell them what's happening. I thought that I was taking a wheat chocolate and I took syrup chocolate and now I'm tripping in s***. Lauren comes over to me and says, oh my god, I thought I was taking a little wheat gummy. Like, I will do this over drinking. Lauren is fully tripping. Lauren is fully tripping and this is Saturday tripping. And this is Saturday night. Do you know what the worst part of tripping is?

What the fuck? The night did not end there. We kept on going. I had no intention of tripping in the Hamptons this weekend. It also concerns me. I remember recording that in the bathroom. But I also know there was like 10 people in that fucking bathroom. And we're like, hold on.

Sorry, I'm just recording the podcast. Can you guys be quiet for a minute? And we what um so the night keeps going we go back to the table there's a man there no there's a man there's a man and i'm vibing with this man she did a little bit more than hit it off with him ladies and gentlemen here is us in the car on On the way home. Saturday night. It's literally not funny. I really liked it. He literally has put his entire hand down my pants. No shame. Entire hand down my pants.

So you got a make out. But you almost got. Oh, I got a make out. Was it worth? Was it good make out was it worth was it good oh it's going down oh see that's all we needed to hear honestly i look back now walking into that area and i kept looking at him so aggressively like holding the back of your hip body now i know where his hands were within the hip body motion i didn't understand that there was more than a makeout going on. Daddy King, we are cruising down the freeway, heading home. Dude, now sitting here listening to it, I remember in that moment, I had no idea that was happening.

Love that I was being sneaky as fuck. Yeah, I literally thought you guys were just like grinding. No, honestly, if I was grinding, i'd be more embarrassed about that no that's true that's true you're like okay at least i was getting it in and let me just be very clear the night does not stop there get ready get your snacks because you're about to sit down at our kitchen table with us at 2 a.m while we debrief yeah and lauren's happy and she and you just came home and you're like i'm feeling good as we were sitting at the bar we were sitting at the bar and he put his entire hand and fingered me while we were sitting at the bar was it good i mean no you're sitting in a bar but i was like whoa put your hand in my pants while we're sitting at the bar.

Yeah, I'm down for that. Okay, wait. I gotta, like... Pee? No, I'm gonna explode almost. Oh. Explode. I'm just gonna poop.

The moral of the story... I'm eating my ham sandwich. Hold on. The moral of the story is this. Wherever you are, we love you, and we can't wait to hang out with you. Dude. You're like, I got to go explode. I'm like, let's keep that in the podcast for sure.

I actually really respect you in that moment just being like, no. It was not good. But, like, you enjoyed it. It was the vibe. It added to the moment. It was like, ooh, hot, heavy, steamy, fun. you in that moment just being like no it was not good but like you enjoyed it was the vibe it added to the moment it was like oh hot heavy steamy fun yeah like it may have not you may have not like owed from it there was no simulation you had a good time it was butthole simulation yes wait okay can we clarify you didn't even okay so later that night Lauren continues to tell me that she's pretty

sure that it was not a finger in the vagina it was a finger yeah it's going sure that it was not a finger in the vagina. It was a finger. Yeah. It's going somewhere. But it was not in the vagina. No. Lauren. My hypothesis is that he was still tripping

and maybe he thought the back door was the front door. So he was fully fingering her asshole. Just to clarify if anyone's not catching on. Honestly, when we look back, like I don't even have. I was wearing jeans yeah oh yeah you were wearing jeans to clarify like this was not an easy get around like he was really invested in getting in that asshole and getting up there and that now explains the explosion later on because you were eating a little xoxo we love you butthole man also i will say like that may

have been one of like the best nights that I've had in a really long time same I like sucks that like now it's fourth of July I'm like oh like how is tonight gonna top last night yes but I think it's like the holiday weekend celebrating your deal this is the first time I've seen you in over a month that's true like we I was about to say we have a pass but I'm like wait we don't even have a fucking pass I feel like everyone is I actually feel like I woke up this morning and I was saying Lauren like I'm reading through my dms and everyone's like whoa daddy like I'm hungover with you too I feel like everyone is I actually feel like I woke up this morning and I was saying Lauren like I'm reading through my dms and everyone's like whoa daddy like I'm hungover with you too I feel like everyone is raging like it was a frenzy out there we blend it in dude the first fucking big ass

weekend I've had this summer is right now and I will confirm hot girl summer oh it's going down yeah it's like in fucking it's going down oh it's going yeah you're like i'm like are you gonna hook up with me you're like oh i'm getting i was like we cut it out because it's too painful yeah but i was like he's coming over later alex and he's eating me out yeah and larm was like you're not putting it in because the way i said that was so creepy i'm gonna actually maybe we'll put it in um right now um i think i think he's going to, like, eat me out. This is more than a make out. Okay. But anyways, so.

10 out of 10 night. 10 out of 10 night. Like, honestly, success. I don't think I would have changed one fucking thing. No, same. And let's do it again. Today is now 4th of July. And I'm not going to lie.

Big Al woke up this morning and said, I have the most saddening news. I'm like, oh, God. Like, did Mr. Sexy Zoom Man, like, break up with you last night like did henry die like no no what what happened and you're like i think i have strep throat and i think i have to stay in i said nope nope nope nope nope i know so i'm like literally like my entire throat i've been like trying to drink lemon water but it's like red stre're out this red strep throat in the entire Hamptons through the daddy gang. Dude, oh my God.

There was a girl last night. Also, we met her out. We had gone out with her at Marquee in the city and now we met her. We saw her randomly in the Hamptons and I was saying how my throat was starting to hurt last night and she looked at me and she was like,

wait, so has my throat has been hurting all week now too since Marquis. And I was like, wait, really? And she was like, yeah. And I was like drinking out of your drink the whole night, which I was like, wait, you were? I was like, wait, why are you drinking out of my drink? But she basically said that her throat has been hurting too. So apparently something fishy was going on at Marquis. We're not lying.

We've been getting up and close and personal with Daddy Gang. Yes, I'm like fully sharing drinks with Daddy Gang. I'm like, okay, great. Now I guess Daddy Gang, we all have sharp throat. Dope. But yes, I'm not going to be a pussy. I'm just going to power through. And it's about to be a fucking day.

Oh, my friend just texted me. He said, there's a big party on the beach in Montauk. It starts around six and it's going to go all night. He said, it's a great party. On the beach? I think so. He goes, it's a great party. I mean, I traveled 12 hours to come to it.

So it better fucking be. I forgot. They literally came for this one party. Oh, OK. Daddy gang, we're going to relax and then we're going to get ready and we're going to go enjoy our Fourth of July. And I guess yet again, we'll see where the night takes us oh my god oh my god oh my it's monday fuck oh go to the couch to get the microphone so I said I don't have the strength to go to the couch to get the microphone so I'm just

recording on my phone good morning everyone it's Monday and um last night we went to a party that was themed and we did not know we were going to a themed party i didn't tell anyone nobody told us nobody told us we showed up no well first of all what did anything happen like oh my god i met the owner of rush myers last night and i was like dude i'm gonna just give it to you straight it's it's not great there's some okay so we went to we go with my friend and she has a table and we got to a table and i'm not even trying to start drama like it just this is what happened we get to the table and someone that was at the table was someone that I was supposed to go on a double date with, with an old, very public friend. Let's say that.

And he is best friends. Yeah. With Superman. And he was there. And, um, it was like, I was like, fuck, are you going to like try to kill me? Like, I was like, let's just like get out of the way. Like, are we, are we okay? He was like, yeah. Like, oh gonna like try to kill me like i was like let's just like get out of the way like are we are we okay he was like yeah like oh my god we're totally fine do you still want to go on the date and i was like do i have a boyfriend um but so that was like terrifying

because i thought that i was about to get snipered this girl was there too oh i saw that too yeah everyone was at that party so then we leave from because everyone was doing ecstasy and we were like oh we have to podcast in the morning and everyone was like that's perfect take ecstasy and then you'll really have something to podcast about the morning but we're like you know we're gonna limit drugs to what i've never been offered so many drugs right every time someone offered me drugs alex was like nope podcast podcast podcast i was like like, please. I just knew. I already knew I was going to wake up and I was going to feel so shit this morning. Oh, if I took Molly last night, I'd be dead.

Dude, I'd be dead, right? So I was like being our guardian angel, okay? I am your godfather. And so then Lauren and I. Oh my gosh, you gave me nose spray. Nose spray? Nose spray spray and I thought he was just giving me no sprays I'm like okay I'll spray my nose Alex it was ketamine it was ketamine no spray he gave me I didn't feel anything though oh my god you took it yes he gave me ketamine no spray

dude I'm over here being like guys we didn't do drugs and Lauren's like yeah we didn't so Alex he gave me this no spray full ketamine no I didn't feel a thing though like he gave me one spray and I was like what was that and he was like ketamine I was like I don't want ketamine dude what did you think you were doing when you put something up your nose just to clear your nostrils yeah you're like oh yeah Alex does have a cold um maybe okay so Lauren okay so all right well that's good you didn't go into a k-hole because i found nothing okay so then we go dude kenny was a letdown it was nothing like the shrooms or the ecstasy um and then we ziggy takes us to poor ziggy

ziggy has heard some shit if our driver heard us this weekend i imagine he has a he could write a book about who he drives and what he hears normally you get in an uber and the uber hears you confess your life and then you never see the uber again we have to keep seeing ziggy every morning it's like it's like hi i respect ziggy it's just like we just don't talk about last night we act like last night never happened he puts on a new suit and it's a new day true he really does show up and he's the most professional and he doesn't like look us in the eyes like he's like seen us do bad shit he's more of like a yeah new day new girls um so we love you ziggy i sure have lost my shoes last night you okay yeah we're getting there so we get to this party and lauren and i look classy because we went and changed and we took all of my friend's clothes and

we go to this party and it is a mansion party on the beach as we're walking down the swirly twirly gumdrop road we slowly i'm like what people are walking past us and i see like everyone is like wearing like circus delay shit and like i have a blazer on i'm like what's happening finally we get to this beach party tell us it was themed i don't know i think because you only know it seems you get to go to the dinner yeah and we're not cool enough to go to the dinner so people go to this dinner before and i think they like spring the theme on them. And then they have costumes there for the people that are at the dinner. And then if you are going later like us.

Oh, and then there's no cell service. No. That's what I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So and she couldn't text us to be like, hey, I have a fucking hat on that's, like, 10 feet tall. And, like, my boyfriend is a zebra. Like, she couldn't text us that. My butt finger man was dressed as a woman.

Dude, dude. We get there. And I'm like, Lauren, go find your butt finger woman. Like, you need to get. My butt finger man. Butt finger man. Sorry. But we get there.

And all my friends that we'd hung out from last night are there they are literally completely like um whatever his name was i don't want to use all their names in the podcast because i respect but he was dressed like a fucking literally like zoolander okay so lauren finally finds her butt finger man shout out and um and so then lauren was like running around all night did he finger you last night no oh that's good did you get a makeout no i was taking a lot of shots with the rush myers man shout out shots yes you were drunk yes okay i even knew i was drunk but i didn't know if you were drunk oh i was up in the hills of the sand at the bars and I was ripping shots. And then I met Rushmire's man.

And then, oh, and then I met people that knew my boyfriend. So anyway, so. What did you sound like when you called him last night? I have literally no idea what I said to him. And I felt so bad because I literally had no cell service the entire fucking night. So all of a sudden he literally thought I was dead. And then I called him screaming, thinking you were kidnapped. That was literally, I had not talked to my boyfriend in like six hours.

And I call him and I finally get home and I get cell reception. And he's literally like, hello. And I'm like, Lauren is kidnapped. And he's like, oh, it's nice to hear from you. So anyway, so shout out to the Rush Myers guy. Total mis... So he was like, who is the's nice to hear from you. So anyway, so shout out to the Rushmires guy. Total mis... So he was like, who is the bouncer that threw you out? He was like, I want to know.

And I was like, honestly, I have no idea. But in my podcast, I'm referring to him as Vinny. And he was like, wait, so that's not his name. I'm like, no, I just make names up on my podcast. So the Rushmires guy was like, so nice. Such a good dude. Wait, wait, wait. wait start your i missed it yeah you were just looking into the clouds and i was like i have no idea what his name is i just i

just called him vinny because whatever but uh he was nice and i was like i'm not gonna i don't want you to do anything to balance her like it was a disaster i didn't ever respond but uh but overall great guy great vibes and he uh said that um oh my god and then i think dude the fact that was at rush myers dude i don't there's so much happening i don't know what's going on uh so overall like great vibes from last night and then what was the second place we went to oh my god overall what a what a trip you know what a hell of a trip yeah i have lost my my liver and my soul and um check back in soon not on my phone hopefully okay i'm like genuinely concerned people are gonna listen to this episode and be like was that alex it was me my voice is coming back daddy gang that is yes it's it for this week's

episode but it's kind of only the beginning of the world tour what a fucking amazing trip this has been yeah literal trip for me Larry with the zinger um okay we literally need to like go to sleep um it's crazy that the beginning of this journey this Hamptons journey which felt like it was a month how many days was this it was really three days yeah um it's crazy that it started with me, like getting, I guess this, this Hamptons trip started with me getting kicked out of Rush Myers and ended with me having a drink with the Rush Myers guy and him being like, we should, we should coordinate like an event with you. And I'm like, okay, see, things can turn around if you just believe. And you got a little liquid courage. And, you know, it was a good time. Drink that Pedialyte.

Drink that emergency because this is only just the beginning. Dude, we are literally going to upload. We are one third into our trip so far. Yes, it's hurting my throat. We are going to upload this. And then Wednesday, once you guys are listening to this Lauren and I will be in the car heading back to New York City and we're staying in New York till Friday I think I'm gonna pass up marquee this Wednesday I think I'm gonna I'm gonna go back I'm actually gonna be at marquee again this Wednesday no um I'm going I have a couple uh

meetings and things I have to do but then we're flying to Chicago on Friday to get there in time for new bar Friday. I was like, Lauren, what is new bar Friday? Lauren literally goes to a new bar in Chicago with her friends every single Friday. So we're doing that. And then Saturday I rented a trolley. There's a lot happening. There's a lot happening.'s a lot happening bring your shin guards wink wink if you listen to last week's episode get ready um i'm personally terrified um

but what i do know is if you guys liked this style tell me if you hated it please tell me please let me know give us feedback yeah let me know leave us a yelp review god and you know all i can say is god damn it i wish we could fly ziggy to chicago oh same gonna miss you zigs um daddy gang i will see you fuckers next wednesday in chicago Bye.