Call Her Daddy - "Your Fiancé Should Be Ashamed"

Episode Date: August 20, 2023

The most recent episode of Call Her Daddy sparked some controversy and Alex is here to address it. Is it disrespectful to your partner to speak about previous hookups and sexual experiences?

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Hello, Daddy Gang. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I love you all. I miss you all. Happy Sunday. Some of you may be here because you are just, you know, a loyal regular tuning in to whatever the fuck I'm about to say. And some of you may be here because you are interested in my response to some recent controversy related to the latest Call Her Daddy episode. I told you guys I was going to talk about it on this Sunday episode. So here we fucking are. Let me catch you up because I know some of you may be like what the fuck is happening this week I released a call her daddy episode called exposing my athlete roster in this episode I returned to my college town of Boston for I'm pretty sure the first time since graduation so it's been about like six years and And let me tell you, when I landed

in Boston, the memories just came flooding in. I landed and I was like, holy fuck, I'm remembering things. I'm seeing buildings that are triggering me of memories. I am seeing hotels that I'm staying in that are triggering memories. So naturally, because this is my job, I picked up a microphone and took you down memory lane with me detailing all of the athlete dick that I encountered in Boston during my time of college. And I also take that back. I didn't tell you everything. I gave you two really fun stories and I have many more. And I'm so happy you guys liked this episode because I've got a lot of college stories that I never told on Call Her Daddy and I'm going to give you more because it's fun to reminisce. Okay. But anyways, this episode was an ode to the OG Call Her Daddy days and an ode to

the creation of the Gluck Gluck 9000. If you don't know what the Gluck Gluck 9000 is, you haven't been here since day one. That's okay. It is the best blowjob technique in the world. And it started to be created when I was in college, the double tan twist gawg gawg combo. It hits every fucking time. Okay. Episode three, go listen. And don't get me wrong. Whenever I release something on Call Her Daddy, that's a bit more aggressive these days in terms of my sucking and fucking and slurping and twirling, I tend to expect a few comments from the haters, right? Oh my God, I can't believe that she's speaking this way. She's so little respect for herself. She's such a fucking slut and a whore. I'm like, yes, yes, yes. Been there, done that. I've been getting those type of comments since I started Call Her Daddy

and I love them and I embrace them and they really let me know that I'm doing something right. But I was caught off guard with some of the comments this week. People, and when I say people, I mean men and women, were very, very, very riled up. These people in the comments firmly believed that I was disrespecting and insulting my fiance by speaking about people that I have hooked up with in the past. Let me read you some of these comments for context. Okay. Alex, with all due respect, respect goes a long way. Let's not expect our boyfriends, fiancees, and husbands to respect us if we don't return the courtesy. Crazy. That's how she's describing past hookups when she's engaged. I would be so ashamed to be her fiance. How dare she talk about this now that she's engaged? This is the kicker ready. Matt is definitely going to leave you after this episode.

This is in such an insult to him as a man. Daddy gang, we have so much to unpack here, so let's just get fucking into it. Is it disrespectful to your partner to speak about previous hookups and sexual experiences? I would first like to just acknowledge, I understand that my situation is a little different. I am speaking to millions of people on a podcast. It's very public. But just also remember along those lines, speaking into a microphone about I'm speaking about my experiences, my life, all of my experiences, all of this. This is my job. OK. And I can assure you, everyone's so concerned that my fiance was

well aware of what my job consisted of when he proposed to me. And he is very proud of me and thinks what I do is so fucking cool. But back to the question at hand, why were people so deeply offended and worried about my fiance, Matt, and the deep disrespect he must have been feeling from this episode. And the thing is, as I reflect, and it didn't take me long, it's kind of obvious, but I just have to fucking say it. I don't think their reactions have anything at all to do with Matt and me and our relationship. No one's actually genuinely fucking confused. If anything, people really, really want him to like take the ring away to prove their point. But this isn't about me and Matt and our relationship. This is about the people commenting in their own relationship and their own deep, deep seated

insecurities. I was laying in bed when these comments started coming in and I was laughing and Matt was like, what the fuck are you laughing at? I was like, I need to read you these comments, Matt. Like, this is so crazy that people think this way. And he was like, what are they saying? And I started reading them to him. And Matt was just like, they're just projecting. Like, that's sad. And I was like, not that I need to give you guys the fucking definition of projecting, but obviously you guys know projecting is like when something's going on in your life that you're not okay with or you don't like or you're insecure about when you see someone else doing it or defying that and going against what

you are comfortable with it's really fucking triggering aka the people in my comment section and matt was like they're just fucking projecting like that's so sad like they clearly can't like talk about this stuff in their own relationship and And I'm like, okay, what could make someone so insecure in their relationship that they wouldn't be able to handle their partner talking about their past? Right. And I sit here and I'm like, maybe it's related to their past relationships. Like it actually doesn't even have to do with their present relationship. It's about their past relationships. Like it actually doesn't even have to do with their present relationship. It's about their past relationship. Maybe they were horribly cheated on in their past relationship, or maybe their current partner cheated on them and there's no trust. Maybe their partner is doing something where they don't feel wanted or sexy or desired or quite frankly safe. So the past is actually very threatening to them.

Because they don't even feel safe in this relationship. So any other sexual encounter this person has had. It is like I can't even take it because we're so unstable and not good. That is an insecurity button you're pressing. Also I would like to say maybe it does go deeper as I'm thinking about it. Maybe it's related to this person's family and they have some underlying abandonment issues that they haven't fully worked through. The point is, daddy gang, and I know the daddy gang knows this, but we just have to talk about this. If you are in a healthy relationship, your partner talking about an ex, it shouldn't automatically take you

to a place of comparison or fear. Like your brain, if you hear this, Matt's brain should not have gone to, oh my God, were they hotter than me? Did he, did she love them more than me? Or like, if you're sitting there, daddy gang, listening to your ex talk about someone, oh my God, was she hotter than me? Did he love her more? Was she better in bed than me? Is he turned, is he turned on by me? Does he still think of her? Does, does she still think of him? Like if this is the case that you're feeling this or your partner feels this, it should raise some red flags. Like what's going on here? Because I want to be so clear. I have been in those relationships. I have been in those relationships.

I have been in a relationship now looking back at it being like, whoa, that was so unhealthy and toxic that the only time that my partner talked about his past was to make me feel insecure in fights. We never talked about our past. He wouldn't let me talk about my past. And when he talked about his past, it was weaponized to make me feel insecure in the middle of fights and for him to gain back the power for me to be like, I'm so insecure. Oh my God. Like, is he going to leave me and go back to her? Like that was an emotionally abusive and manipulative situation. So I've been there. So I understand that if I saw a woman online talking so freely about like her sex life in her past and she had a ring on and she was engaged and her fiance was chill with it I'd be like what the fuck what am I doing wrong what what like why don't I feel comfortable to talk that way obviously

mine is like over the top too because I have a fucking podcast so I'm giving like extreme graphic details but still Matt knew what he was fucking signing up for. He listened to Call Her Daddy and watched the younger episodes and was like, I got it. Dope. Okay. Love the brand you've built. Go off. But I just want to bring this up too because I think it's a really interesting conversation. Like when there are these underlying issues of trust and insecurity my biggest fear for daddy gang again because I

lived this is like if you're in one of those relationships you're really unable to accept that your partner had a life and experiences before you what I mean by that is like you're quite literally and you probably don't even notice it because it's like fucking like you're doing it unconsciously but like you are tuning out everything that doesn't fit into your internal mode of what you need your partner to be. You're creating this image of your partner that doesn't encompass their full reality of lived experiences and qualities. And if you're blocking out all of their previous relationships and partners and sexual experiences, the biggest issue is what else are you actively choosing to ignore about them?

When I was in that toxic relationship, I didn't want to know because I knew he was cheating on me. I knew they're worth it. Like the past to me just signified like I knew how unhealthy our relationship was. When we talked about it, I felt unsafe. I felt fearful. I felt insecure. I felt like I was going to get abandoned and I didn't want to fucking hear it.

And it triggered the fuck out of me. So I'm coming from the place of like, I get it. It's like when you're in those type of relationships, it's like tunnel vision guided by fear. And of course, let me just say it is difficult at some point to discuss the past with your partner. And of course, there's like little tinges of jealousy in the beginning stages because like you're usually doing this in the dating phase or like if your official boyfriend and girlfriend, if you start talking about it, you're like, ah, like I hate that you like were with someone else and said you loved someone else at one point but that's a normal like

little tinge of like I love that's not what we're fucking talking about I will say that it was also frustrating because a lot of the comments by the men were the ones similar to Matt's gonna leave you how dare you disrespect him like that as a man I like you're such a little wiener dick. Shut the fuck up. It's just giving and it's boiling down to it's giving misogyny. It's it's like giving. You know how like online everyone says giving in a positive way, like, oh, it's giving like, no, this is giving misogyny through and through. And it's fucking disgusting. When I was reading these comments, that is all that came up for me. I'm like, oh, this is fully misogynistic driven. Feeling threatened by an ex's sexual past, in my mind, when I'm reading these man's comments could stem from the belief that

a person owns or has control over their partner's past sexual history. It verges on viewing your partner like a possession and it's so fucking controlling and it's so disgusting to me and it's just so not the vibe. And it's such a motherfucking double standard. Does a man talking about his sexual past experiences raise the same concerns absolutely not absolutely not you know if you fucking saw a man talking the way that I was talking this past week everyone would be like oh my god he's so funny like he hasn't lost it or also the comments would be like damn his chick is bad like she's so cool that she lets him blah blah blah it's so fucking pathetic I think that the man clearly like in the comments the men clearly in the comments feel if his partner is talking about previous guys that she's fucked it threatens threatens his manhood. And this is insecurity and internalized misogyny

to a T. Saying you can't insult Matt like that as a man, like bro, what? Matt's good. Like it gives the idea that if my partner is going to be sexual and a sexual being, it can only be with me. It literally reminds me back in the olden days of like the concept of like the virgin bride. Like you're not as desirable unless you're a virgin because I'm going to take your virginity. Wear the fucking veil. Have your daddy bring you down the fucking aisle. Let me take his property. And now I own his property and you're like the virgin bride now. And I'm going to take that from you. It's so fucking nasty and disgusting and I hate all of you little fucking pervs. Okay. Just because your partner has fucked and sucked before by no means makes them a slut or a fucking whore. Okay. I can't believe we still

have to talk about this in 2023. We live in a world where women can be sexual and explore and have fun and have sex just because they fucking can and they want to. Like we don't need permission. Okay. I think something that I realized also from this is like what really comes into play here is communication. It is fun to talk about this stuff in a healthy way with your partner. And by healthy, I want to clarify, I don't mean that when Matt and I are getting in a fight, I'm like, oh yeah, that Red Sox player fucked me so good. I'm going to go call him now. No, that's literally emotionally abusive and manipulative. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about us joking, sitting, talking, reminiscing. And I'm like, oh my God, baby. Like I remember this one time, so embarrassingly, I literally bit this guy's dick as I was trying to give him head. He had this curved penis. It was so like,

it's supposed to be fun and you should feel closer to your partner and you should feel secure enough to know that our relationship is so solid. I don't care who you fucked in your past. This is the present and the future. Like we're good. And so again, I think if you're in a healthy, respectful relationship, these moments are not used to make your partner feel insecure. You should just feel like they're fun moments that you're reminiscing and you're learning more about your partner and their past. So I would just say if the only time that your partner talks about their past is in fight, hi, red fucking flag. Matt does not feel disrespected. He's very proud of the brand that I've built. He was not complaining whatsoever. And I think that I just felt bad when I was reading those comments. Like

if you find yourself tensing up at the mention or thought of your partner with a previous partner, you need to look inward. Again, I'm not saying that I'm now in a healthy relationship, but like I have been there. I have been there where the thought or mention of someone's past was so triggering to me. And if you put on those fucking blinders, you're not realizing why are the women in my comments so, so insecure? Internalized misogyny she can't talk about fucking she's engaged now it's like as if the fucking ring on my finger just wipes my pass and now I have to like wipe Matt's ass and like lick his fucking asshole for a living and I couldn't have licked any other assholes in my life trust me I fucking did so it's like it's

just giving like you're so scared that the man is going to not value me anymore because I'm talking about my past. That ain't it, girl. That ain't it. Okay. And I'm so sorry if that's your experience. I actually have empathy for you because I have been there and I understand it that you don't feel comfortable enough because he makes you feel like a whore.

He makes you feel like a slut and he makes you feel like you can't fucking own anything you did in your past because you're his now and you can only talk about the present and you can no longer think about the past. The men in the comments, like I said, are just giving property. I'm Matt's property, baby. Like I can't talk about the athletes that I fucked and sucked because Matt owns me now literally go fuck yourselves like you're just giving an awful awful misogynistic man that I don't even know what woman would want to fuck you because you're just so so tiny dick energy the fact that you think how hot is it that when she looks up at you and can be like oh my god babe

like obviously she learned how to suck that thing somewhere else be fucking grateful that when she looks up at you and can be like, oh my God, babe, like obviously she learned how to suck that thing somewhere else. Be fucking grateful that when she was sucking and biting, she doesn't do that anymore because she fucking learned. And oh, you can't take it that she learned from someone else. Sorry. Sorry. Put your big boy pants on. Okay. You're in the big leagues now. If you want a healthy relationship, you got to fucking learn how to actually respect your partner and be so fucking down with the fact that they've lived. OK, and now act right and maybe they'll stay with you. But the past is nothing unless you're just fucking insecure. So I just wanted to bring this up because, you know, content is fun.

And I just wanted to say I thought the comments were really interesting and it made me one, I think, feel really good because Matt and I had like a chuckle over dinner and I was happy that Matt as a man was like I'm so proud of you of course baby like when I hear you say those things I'm not like listening to the episode on hi and like being like yeah girl but like I love you and I respect you and I think your brand is fucking incredible and what you're doing for women is dope and like I think you're so fucking hot and I know the Gluck Gluck 9000 was not invented on me. But what I do know is I get that thing for the rest of my fucking life. So count me fucking in, I love you.

So daddy gang, all I can say is last words is like, what is happening in your relationship that you don't feel safe and secure enough that a reality can't exist outside of the two of you? What is happening? Maybe you're not in the healthiest relationship that you thought you were. Just reflect. Just look inward. And that's kind of it for this week. I just thought it was interesting. And I appreciate like how many of you actually like wrote in to me and DM'd me and you kind of just talked about like your thoughts on it because

I was so happy to see that the daddy gang, a lot of these people were like randos that were commenting. The daddy gang knows what's up. So I know I'm just like preaching to the fucking choir. You guys get this, but some people fucking need it. And I love you guys. And thank you for, um, thank you for listening. Sunday sessions. Okay. It's always father's day on Sunday. So love you guys. And I will see you for another solo episode this week. You guys are going to fucking die when you see what I'm doing this week. Wink, wink. Uh, the wedding bells are coming. Okay. Goodbye. I love you guys. Bye.