Call Her Daddy - Zooey Deschanel: Relationships, RomComs, & the Holiday Season

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Zooey Deschanel. Zooey talks all about her approach to the holidays and her experience on Elf. She also opens up about her engagement, navigating past divorce, overcoming bullying in her childhood, and why she isn’t a manic pixie dream girl. Enjoy! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Zoe Day Chanel, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Oh, my God. Thank you so much for having me. I feel like you're the perfect person to be wearing this with. I think that's right. I was, no, literally before you came in, I was like, I hope she just like sees the vision.

I see the vision. Like, what is this person doing? Happy holidays. How are you doing? I'm good. Is that comfortable, by the way? It's actually weirdly very comfortable. Yeah.

And I didn't expect to wear this today. I had a sweater and jeans on. But then I just put this on for some social ideas. And then I was like, you know what? Maybe this will get us in the mood. Yeah. I'm in the mood. You're feeling festive?

And we're like, and we're like, we're going to ride that mood like the whole time. We're riding it. We're going to go through the holidays together. Yes. Okay. Let's talk about the holidays. We're kind of in the middle of it right now. Do you have any good plans this year?

Like I'm such a traditionalist. Like I'm very much like I love like hanging out with family. Like singing Christmas carols. I like, yeah, we're very festive. We decorate like big. We go big with the decorations. Can you talk to me about decorations though? Yeah.

Because so I don't have kids yet. Yeah. And I've been trying to convince my husband. Like we need to like gear up, right? So I've been like trying to buy stuff. for our house. That's so when we do have kids one day, it's like a winter wonderland. Right. And he's like, okay, like I see the vision sort of, but I feel like I'm only going half in. So I think I need to, if you're going to do it, you got to go all in. Like, do you do

every room. Do you do some rooms? We do a lot of rooms. But you know what? It does build up over the years. And then you do have to like, it's like you do have to edit. Like, because you, we have, I'm really into Christmas and then Jonathan's really into Christmas. So it's like, it's like, I was the one in my family growing up. My dad comes from like a Quaker background. And if you know anything about that, they're very simple and plain and you don't want to show off. And so like he liked Christmas trees with no decorations.

And I was like, I love decorations. I want everything decorated, like over the top. And so I remember coming home like from college for Christmas and no one had bought a tree and there was like no decorations. And I went out and I got like a tree and all these decorations. I decorated the whole house. so that's me and then Jonathan's like probably more even more love and then we have these wonderful guys from Glitterville which is like an awesome place in Knoxville Tennessee where they

make all these Christmas decorations they come and decorate our house so my god we're kind of spoiled one day yeah I'm going to be calling them yeah you'll call them yeah I'll give you there is your tree though does it have like really nice fancy ornaments or do you do a couple where it's like your kids made it or you made it one year that's a great what are we working with okay so yeah um so downstairs in our like main areas we have two trees and they're kind of themed um they're a little different every year the one in the like living room is last year was like champagne themed this year it's a little more like gingerbready love um and then yeah the themes are fun and there's like lots of snow this year like lots of fake snow and then um and then in the like family room the big

big tree is very sparkly and colorful and like tinsel and stuff like that but then upstairs in the kids playroom we put two trees one for each kid and they can decorate it however they want and they can put all their homemade ornaments and wait that's so cute now when are we putting up the tree because this is also another point of contention in my house yeah When are you doing it? Sometimes. Sometimes after Halloween. Sometimes it happens.

Like last year, I think somehow it was right after Halloween because that's just how it worked out. This year, we put up the trees right before Thanksgiving. See, I'm like, well, my husband's also Jewish, but like he fully supports me in my Christmas extravaganza. And sure, it's like Christmica, but like it's Christmas, you know, for the decorations. And so Matt is always like, it can't be September 1st, Alex. And I'm like, the minute hits fall, we got to go. So now we've compromised and we did it right before Thanksgiving, which I feel like is good.

I think it's great because you just, you want as long with that tree as possible. And the other thing you can do in a, you know, a mixed like faith house is you do the Christmas tree with the Hanukkah colored ornaments. Zoe, I'm going to go home tonight and I'm about to rock his world and be like, I have compromised. He's like, oh my God, honestly, that's a good idea. Yeah. Do you host? Yes. So, yeah, we always like to do like Christmas Eve dinner and stuff like that for the family.

Have you ever had any hosting disasters? We did have a Christmas party a few years ago. And our landscapers who are amazing brought in some mulch to like to make everything look really fresh. accidentally had like fertilizer in it, which smells. No, no. But, but, but it was completely honest mistake. But I was just like putting like cinnamon sticks, like trying to burn them everywhere. Everyone's like, Zoe, your house was so good. Well, we're, they were like, um, it's just fresh. It's just fresh. Oh. Okay, got it. But you're hosting more than you're going to places. We like to host. We like to go places. We're social. We're social people. Talk to me

about holiday movie. What is one holiday movie you have to watch every? single year. Die hard. Wait. Zoe. What? Wait. Wait.

Die hard is a great Christmas. I'm like, so elf is mine. I love elf. Have you rewatched it? But since I'm in it, I'm not like, it's funny because my kids were a little resistant. They're a little resistant to watching me. They're not as resistant to watching like if there's something where I'm a voice, like trolls, freely watching that.

but like if I'm in something they're a little like is that mommy or is that like yeah wait how old are they now they're they're eight and ten but just this year my daughter said she wants to watch it with her friends elf yeah so I was excited so you're probably about to become like the coolest mom slowly you're about to be like oh it's about to turn for you maybe I don't know I mean it's one of the all-time great or they'll hate it and hate me right mom that was so embarrassing I'm so embarrassed okay wait so you were 21 years old when you filmed elf yeah is it true that you actually were not going to first be booked for this role yeah what happened um they had offered it when i met with um john um the favro the director um

i walked in and he was like oh you don't need to read we just offered it to katy holmes and i was like oh okay cool and he's like well sit down and talk for him and And I was like, okay. So what was great about that was like, I wasn't nervous. I didn't like have to like, you know, it's like like, like when you're an actor, you're like first starting and you're like auditioning. You get nervous and you're like psyching yourself up for the, you know, I wasn't nervous at all because I was like, well, I'm not getting the part. I'm not getting the part. So it was kind of great because I was not nervous. And then when she had some scheduling conflict and then they were like, who should we have? and um i think the character was kind of meant to be like worked around whoever played her and they knew i sang because i had a cabaret act where i do like um like jazz standards and stuff and so that kind of worked out with the character yeah and at the time do you think you all knew how big it was going to be because of will or did it still not really will wasn't like he he was just start I mean, he was like, had done old school.

Yeah, I guess you're right. It was still on the rise. He hadn't done stepbrothers. Yeah, he hadn't done stepbrothers. Like, he hadn't done all of his, like, huge. You didn't even know, though, what's going to be as big as it was. Well, I, when I read it, I was like, I remember, like, giggling out loud and I was, like, really enjoying myself.

And I was like, that must be a good sign. And then I've taken that as, like, my litmus test, like, ever since then. And I was like, you know, like, almost every time I, like, laugh out loud while reading a script, because if you laugh out loud while reading a script, then you're probably going to laugh, like, even harder when you see someone doing it. Well, you had to have your hair be blonde. That wasn't a wig, was it? No, I, I, that was because I, I was young and just starting out and trying to get jobs. And there was a movie about a pop star that was like floating around and the producer really wanted me for it. And he was like, let's do a screen test. And they like dyed my hair blonde, put like extensions in it and all this stuff. And we did this like screen test. The movie never ended up happening. But I had this blonde hair for like a little bit. And I still hadn't dyed it back brown because I was like 21. I didn't have like that much money to like go and do my hair all the time. So I was kind of like waiting. I'm like, I'll grow out a little bit. And then once I got the part, I was like, well, can I dye my hair back brown? And they were like, no.

you have to have the same hair you had when you came in. And I'm not sure where that came from, but that's what I was told. So then I had to like maintain this, which takes like eight out. Like if you have black hair, my hair is almost black. To dye your hair blonde, girl, that's like the biggest undertaking ever. Like, yeah, to strip really dark hair. You would never do it again, would you? I would wear a wig because it's not great for your hair.

Like my hair, I will say. that like my hair is like really stiff in the movie because it was like it was bleached and then it was highlighted you know and and then I remember I had extensions and of course I was like young and dumb and I remember they glued the extensions in I couldn't get them out and I was like trying to pull them and I like ripped my hair I had like short pieces like that long I do remember because I just watched it this um this past week her hair does not move it's literally perfectly curled up and it just like stays right there there's a reason for that it's called chemical processing

okay can you tell us because obviously because it's holiday season and we're going to go through a lot of your movies but what was your first impression of will feral because obviously that movie was so iconic he's like the nicest human being like anyone who's worked with him like there's no bad experiences with him he's so nice he's nice to everybody he's so fun he's like game for anything and i think the thing about will is like he's super playful and fun and open and just like a nice person and I think that kind of like informs who he is as an actor because he's like he's like so willing to play you know no yeah I like kind of forgot how like physical comedy he was in that movie as I was rewatching him like oh my god there were so many moments where

you're like whoa what are his legs doing and all the things like it's so funny um do you have any like if you can remember like your favorite scene to film together in that movie oh my gosh um I like doing all the stuff in the department store because there's, like, so much, like, kind of farcical energy to that. It's, like, you know, and, like, fun characters. Like, when he thinks, he's like, I know Santa, and then Santa comes. It's not the real, like, the real Santa. And then he starts, like, freaking out. There's so much fun stuff in there.

Both of your parents worked in Hollywood, right? Your mom was an actress, your dad was a cinematographer. Yeah. What was it like growing up in a house with such creative, artsy energy? Oh, that's a good question. So my parents are like, it's like they're not, like my mom was like a working actress, like not famous or anything but she like she she did really well and she's really smart and great and then my dad my dad's like an artist you know like he he's just like everything like he's he loves

taking pictures like even still like we were in Rome this summer like all of us and like we'd have to go out at like they'd go out every day at five in the morning and it's like to find the light for the just the picture just to take pictures yeah just like he's taking pictures yeah just like he's taking pictures of buildings and these take pictures of my mom and me and it's everything is always like it's just like he just sees the world in this like you know incredible way um but yeah so they're both really creative artistic people and have like amazing taste so i do remember like growing up and being like like um like if i liked a movie that was kind of silly i was like don't say anything because they have, like, such good taste, you know?

Interesting. Like, I like, I remember liking, like, silly sitcoms and stuff like that. Of course. Don't tell my dad. Because he's like, that's, no, no, no, no. Let me show you something. You're like, true art movie. Oh.

Which I love too, but, like, I remember this sense of being like, ah, like. There's like a high standard for. Their standards were so high that I remember being like, yeah, like too crazy. Yes. I really related because I saw you said in an interview that seventh grade was the worst year of your life. Yes. And I was like, is that just like all of a lot of our experience? Because seventh grade was literally the worst year of my life. Tell me. I think it's like when you're that age, there's a coming of age where everyone's starting to maybe like actually look at boys and girls and like maybe start to be more aware of the way everyone looks and the differences and sexuality and all these things. Like I just was like a very awkward, very awkward, like lanky acne braces kid. And I just didn't, I just didn't fit in the way that my friends were.

And so I experienced just like a lot of bullying because kids are horrible. And at that age, if you're not with the crowd and you are, you know, conforming to what everyone feels like it's the normal standard, then you just stick out like a sore thumb and then everyone like puts you down for it. Yeah. So I experienced that. And then when I read that, I was like, seventh grade. It's seventh grade is the worst. What happened in seventh grade for you? I was similarly awkward but different.

I was like kind of chubby and not that there's anything wrong with that. It was like would have been fine if I hadn't been ridiculed for that. And just like an awkward person, I hadn't quite like figured out my personality yet. And like all the friends that I had been friends with kind of like, splintered off into other groups and changed and were different and like not not the same support situation and then you have like all your hormones and everything and but what was funny about seventh grade is I I joined a swim team and oh well separately I had like I had like this one girl who like bullied me like really bad who like spit in my face like was just awful it was like those

things you see I remember her going like you're trying to act like you're thin, which now I'm like, do you like, I'm like, I'm like, this was like the mid 90s. I'm like, now would nobody would see that. I don't think. But like, I remember her saying that to me and being like, I don't, I was like, do, am I trying to act like I'm thin? I don't think so. I think I'm just acting like. Can you imagine? Like, in that context, you're like, how does that kid and what's going on that kid's house that they feel comfortable to speak that way to another person. And then you're sitting there being like, and I was like, uh, I don't think so. And I'm also like, I also was like, why are you coming after me? I was like, I was trying to hide

from her all the time. But yeah, um, but I joined the swim team and, and I like lost about 30 pounds over the year. And then I grew six inches over the summer. And so when I came back, I had like a new lease on life because eighth grade, everyone was like, are you the same person? You look really different. So it was kind of like, um, fortunate that like my growth spurt happened in this like weird. Dude, that is like literally like a movie. Like you walk in, you're like, I'm back, I was like, I also was like not even aware because I went to summer camp and I came back and then everyone was like, you look totally different. Do you feel like anything that you went through has informed as a mother, like how you're talking with your kids just like making sure they're

good in school and everything. Because when you experience that, I have like a soft spot, I don't even have kids yet. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to like make sure that I'm going in their rooms and talking with them and making sure that they're okay and how they're being treated. Because I didn't tell my parents. Did you share it with your parents that you were getting bullied? I shared it with my parents. Yeah. Yeah. So one of the things, like I think we can't always control how other people act toward them, but we can we can help them give them tools like on how to react when people do something that's not very nice and also help them be the kindest people they can be, you know?

Do you feel like anything from your childhood just in terms of like those light, not even light, but just like insecurities? Yeah. Do you still feel like any of that shows up today in your day-to-day life? I mean, of course it's like in there, but like it's like in a good way. Like I like all those things that like anytime you like go through something difficult that helps like you become stronger. But I think I've made a real effort to never like show any like I have a daughter and a son and I don't want them to ever think like oh mommy's insecure or you know like my my mom doesn't like you know this or you know I always want them to think like I'm happy with myself and like because they get their self esteem from their parents, you know. So, yeah, it's important to me to, like, show up with confidence.

And I think about, like, Hollywood is such an extreme, especially for women, on just, like, focusing on looks or weight or aging or all the things. Like, what has your experience been as a woman in this industry dealing with, if anything, like criticism over your appearance? You know, it's funny. I think it's like, I think you can, like, you can let it roll. off you and it doesn't really affect you if you as long as you let it like not affect you um it's it's when you like internalize it too much um or you start to be like oh you know and you let those sort of negative things like faster and you know but but i think when you kind of like you know let it roll off you and also just see that like those things they're they don't really matter

you know what I mean like a lot of people talk about them like they do but they don't actually they don't when it comes down to it that's not what's important and so you know I definitely think that being you know having a strong sense of self beyond that is really important I mean that's a beautiful message too because I agree with you it's like you can only control like you said earlier of like what your response is going to be to things and I think especially if If you're, we're never going to not get it as women. So at some point, it can become in a good way, you can have autonomy over your life to be like, I'm so much more interesting than the way I look. Yeah. And my weight and my age and all those things. And so if you can focus more

on those, then I think you're going to live a healthier and happier life. Understandably, it's so hard in moments. And then people don't see it really. Like it's like the name move past it, you know, it's like you really see if somebody's really struggling with that and they're really internalizing it. I think, yeah, it's such a tricky thing. I mean, too, I think my identity was never super wrapped up in my appearance. I always made an effort to be like, is like more about what I'm presenting is more about my style and like artistic and creative expressions versus, oh, like I'm so just naturally perfect. Like, do you know what I mean? It's like all those things are so ephemeral and, you know, they change and, and they're, you know, they're subjective. And so I think, I think, yeah, not not having my identity so wrapped up in like what I looked like when I was 25 is really great.

And I love that because I think there's a lot of young women that listen to this show. And I think it's nice hearing that because I do feel that from you. Like when I think about, Zoe Day Chanel, I'm like, oh my gosh, your style and like your energy, I think, is so, it reads so much in a movie or in, you know, interviews you've done or print or whatever you do, like you have such a very specific sense of style and a unique individuality that I really respect. And I think especially with social media and as more kids grow up with it, I think trends can be very all encompassing where people are almost like copying each other because they think like, this will make me cool, this will make me cool. And what's actually so much cooler is being like, you're this like unique individual that people kind of can't copy you or want

to copy you because you're so true to yourself. Start the trends. Don't follow them. Yes. Yes. Can we talk about your career? Yeah. Okay. So you start doing auditions. It's 16 years old. Did you have any like memorable disaster auditions where you were like, how did that just happen to me? Yeah. I mean, so so many. It was like a whole year. of like terrible auditions. I remember, too, preparing. There was like one where I was reading for like some huge director was like, I want to say it was like Christopher Nolan or something and I was like, and they called me in and

I had prepared for days. But then when I got there, I just completely like just got so nervous. I forgot everything and I was like, and then the casting director was like, call my called my agents and was like well she was super unprepared and I was like no no no I just got really nervous so nervous that I just like screwed up so bad I I have like um a lot of learning differences and I grew up like bad ADHD in a time when not a lot of girls were diagnosed with it it was like and I had like the combined type which means I had like hyperactivity and inattentiveness so a lot of stuff going on. So, like, I sometimes have to spend a little more time learning things and

preparing, which I know well, but that's why it took me. And then once I know how to prep, then I know how to prep. But I think that it was still in this, like, exploratory phase where I'm like, I did spend a long time preparing, but it didn't really work. Yeah. I luckily have my mom as a great actor and she, like, when I was growing up, like, would, like, coach me. me prep for audition. So that was like hugely helpful. But I feel like the conversation around yes, like so many especially young women were never like diagnosed at certain ages where you're like what like whether you're feeling like you're like failing in school or you're like feeling embarrassed. She's just not smart. Yes. And it's like no, that's not it. She just learns differently

or whatever it be. Did you feel like I because I know you then went to Northwestern. and you intended to go to college, then you left because you got a movie. Were you kind of happy to get away from school because you didn't feel like maybe that was your place? Or did you kind of, was it a hard decision for you to leave college? It was hard. And I will say this. So in elementary school, it was a real struggle. But I'm a pretty, I'm a pretty, like, nerdy person. I'm very love studying. And so by the time I was in high school, I was like thriving in school. so it was just kind of coming up with the right strategies for me and and back then like they didn't

really like readily medicate people I was not medicated um and like it was just coming up it was just more realizing I need more time so if some one person takes like you know an hour to study it might take me like two hours because I have to like leave in space to like like daydream and like you know but then I might come up with something like really interesting that's different and And so I think it's just, it was kind of a matter of like accepting how I was. And then so, yeah, I, I thrived in high school. I got really good grades and, and was like, graduated with honors and, and then went to Northwestern. And I loved it.

But it was just, it was what I realized was like my focus had always been on being an actor. So I made a risky decision, which was sort of, I had put a storage block. like on hold for my stuff like from my dorm room because I got a movie and I was going home and I was like gonna go back and I was like I'll put all my stuff in there and then I got there and they didn't have the reservation and I was like that's it I was like this a sign I was like that's a sign I got and I was supposed to do a photo shoot for like British Vogue or something and they'd given me money to fly home and it was like in travel restricts or something I remember and I was like, well, I'll take, like, my flight wasn't quite that amount.

They'd given me just like a budget. And then I was like, okay, I'll just use the rest of that money to ship my stuff home. And you never went back. And I never went back. Did your family support you? Like, did you have any hesitations of leaving college? My parents were really supportive. They like, because they both got to do this, like, you know, these creative things and got

that, like, you do what you got to do. And there is still part of me that's like, I love school and I want to go back to school sometime. I just don't know what I want to study, but I love school. But my parents were supportive. It was more like when I'd run into like my parents' friends, like at the grocery store, they'd be like, go back. Right. They're like, sweetie, what are you doing with your life? And I had this, I made this decision where I was like, well, I don't want to brag.

So I don't want to tell anyone that I got a movie. And that's why I left school. So I'm just going to be like, I quit. And they just thought it was like the biggest loser. Like, I mean, for like a year until this film came out. I was just like, Zoe, like, really went off the rails. I feel like that speaks a lot, though, to your character and who you are where you don't care what people think.

The fact that you are in the grocery store being like, yeah, I just quit. I'm a loser, doing nothing with my life. Meanwhile, you're like, T minus one year till you find out. It was fun to see, like, how judgmental people are when they think. crazy it is crazy it is crazy and it's i hope that now there is more acceptance around non just like traditional linear paths of like you go to school then you do this then you do this and you get the job and it's nine to five and you do this like there's just so much more i think out there for people that don't want that i'm not saying there's a problem with the traditional path but right i do think

it's cool to see how people have actually been now becoming more open to like a lot of kids aren't supposed to go down the path that maybe their parents did and that's okay and some kids like need a gap year like they have to travel they have to see the world a little bit or they need like time to like because sometimes high school is like a lot of pressure I mean I know I was like studying all the time like doing theater too but like I mean I was just I was just like I felt like a lot of pressure academically and you know to and I didn't really do a lot of social stuff like that's how like And so, like, I was like, and then when I went to college, I was like, whoa, like, because it's a lot, there's a lot going on.

It's a good point. It's like we feel like we just have to do these things. But then when you check in, it's like, there are so many kids in high school. They're like, I'm about to burn out. Like, I can't keep doing this. And being in tune as a parent, hopefully, to be like, what does this child need compared to my other child or whatever? That's the thing that's cool about having kids is you see, like, when they grow up and

they're like mine are like two years apart and and um or a little less than that so so they're pretty close in age so i could see like what's developmental and like what you know whatever they walk between this age and this age and those types of things and then like what's their personality and you'll see glimmers of their personality when they are like newborns that's what's amazing there's like stuff that stays with them yeah i love that so much yeah um what do you think was your breakout role. That's a good question. I'll have like versions.

I mean, I would say like Elf was probably it. Because it, that was like, that was like the first movie that I did that was like big, you know? Like I did almost famous and that was like I got a lot of like really nice kind of notices and people really liked that film. But Elf was kind of like on this, felt like more global or something. And I was a bigger part. So, yes. Another movie that people obviously fell in love with you in was from 500 Days of Summer. I mean, obviously.

I feel like a lot of people are like, that is like my favorite coming of age movie. A lot of people love it. You ended up always kind of like defending your character summer against accusations that she was the villain of that story. Which is so crazy. And I think hopefully now people would look back and be like what. But at the time, it really felt like people were like, she's the problem. Like this was messed up. What do you think people got wrong about her?

Well, I mean, I think a lot of things about that. I think it's changed a lot. Like the point of view about that movie, I think I was really shocked actually when it came out. because we all kind of had the point of view that this was kind of like they're a little bit star-crossed. Like she's in one place, he's in another, and like it's all from his point of view. And you kind of see the tragedy of the fact that he wants more

and she sees this as something passing and isn't ready for this yet. And then when it came out, all of a sudden I especially wasn't so much girls, but it was guys. They'd be like, I fucking hate you, summer. I'd be like, whoa, Wait a second. I was like, I was shocked. I was like, wait, she's very clear with him from the beginning. Like, I'm like, what more do you want from her? So, so, so she has to do what he wants,

like, no matter what, I was just, I was just really surprised that that was the takeaway. And, and I understand that sometimes people don't know what to do with their emotions and that probably they just felt like they were really like shipping this couple. They're like, we want them to be together. But she said, like, I don't want anything. I know. That's what's so crazy. I also just feel like maybe we are now more progressive as a society. So like, especially women are like, you couldn't be more clear. You're like, I want to keep things casual. And then he keep seeing the girl. So it's like, okay, if you're down with this. I remember after that movie, the term manic pixie dream girl became just like this whole

conversation. And to anyone maybe who's like my younger audience that isn't familiar with that term, can you explain what manic pixie dream girl means? It's the, okay, it's the term everyone seemed to use to describe like any female in a movie that was left of center or different that wasn't just like. like the hot girl, like someone that had thoughts in her head, had opinions, was a little different. I know the first, I went on a deep dive because about that because I remember being like, wait, every time I would be in something, I would be reduced to this.

And it was something a journalist used to describe Katie Holmes in pieces of April, which was like an indie movie that went to Sundance like in the early 2000. and then since then they just used and then they used it to describe like Natalie Portman and Garden State and like pretty much like and then somehow every character I ever played and I'm like

I don't think all these characters are the same and I mean it just felt to be honest a bit like let's come up with a new thing and let's be a little more creative because it started to also feel like

an insult or something like it was used as in this that that you're that the manic pixie dream girl this was a way to make this character that was meant to be highly you know like three-dimensional trying to make it one-dimensional and I was like no actually the point is to make a character three-dimensional not one-dimensional so um yeah I was always a little bit like look you have to take everything in stride and realize that people call you stuff like all the time and you have to have a thick skin about it and it's fine whatever people want to call me that cool but in my opinion i think it's lazy to keep using it i agree i agree no it's also crazy because like you come up with these tropes and these names that media obviously more centered

towards women on these because i i agree it's like if it's not just like the bombshell like bond girl then it's like, where does the woman fit? We don't know what to do with her. Yeah, and it's like, oh, my God, she's like multidimensional. What a concept? Meanwhile, you're watching like all these men in these movies. She reads books. What do I do? Whoa, she has glasses on.

And she's like, what? Is like Belle from Beauty and the Beast a manic pixie dream girl? That's my question. Such a good point. Is Tiana a manic pixie dream girl? She's like an entrepreneur. Are we manic pixie dream girls? Do we move like Disney princesses into the manic pixie dream girl era?

It's such a good point. It's like if that is what they're basically saying, then I guess the goal should be to strive to be a manic-pixie dream girl. Because you're clearly like getting people so riled up that you're not conforming. They're really emotional about it. I'm like, why are you so emotional about this manic-pixie dream girl thing? I'm very upset. Right.

I'm glad though. It's like it's getting you going. It's making you think. I'm happy my art is like touching you in that way. Yeah. It's a good way to look at it. Okay. another one of your most beloved characters was Jess from New Girl, obviously.

How do you remember feeling when you first read that script? I absolutely loved that pilot script. Like, I was, again, I remember where I was when I read it because I was in the Virgin Atlantic Lounge in London. and the script was called Chicks and Dicks. And I was like, do I want to read this? Like, I was like, what? You're like, whoa. I was like, chicks and digs.

Like, what is this about? And then everyone was like, no, no, it's really good. And then I read it. And I was like, I was sitting there and I was like, ha ha, like laughing out loud. And I was like, well, that's a great sign. Wow. There you go. Back to Elf.

Back to Elf. So I know that eventually the writer started to drive. draw inspiration from you as an actual, like, person and put it into the show a little bit. What parts of yourself did you see reflected in this character? I would say, um, all of us had like, when you're on a show that goes a long time, they like kind of have to do certain things, especially like a sitcom, I think. They'll take certain parts of your personality because they know they can kind of, take advantage of those things. You know what I mean? Or they get how you, they get your rhythm and how

you talk and like how you're going to say things. So it's like you always have like instances where they would write things that come out of your mouth like perfectly by season, you know, like probably by the end of season one. And so getting those things like how to, you know, so they start to get you and like for Jess like, you know, it's like I like crafting and stuff like that. Like there would be things where, you know, there was an episode that I felt like was great because we were dealing with this a lot where people were kind of criticizing the Jess character and me for being like feminine in a way that was maybe to some people passe or something like as if I was, as if I like crafting because I think it like makes me like a trad wife or something. Like, no, I like it

because it's fun and creative and maybe it's relaxing. And there was a. great episode that Julie and Julia Jess and Julia Jess and Julia sorry there's a movie called Julie Yeah Julia and Julia And Jess and Julia

And it's just this character Julia is basically a lawyer and she doesn't like Jess because Jess is like likes all these kind of feminine things and it was kind of written

as a little bit of a you know, um, reaction to a lot of this, there was a little bit of girl on girl hate, you know, where it's like, you're different from me, so I'm not going to like you. Like, it's like, why, why, like, who cares? Like, there's not one way a woman should be, you know? And like, we all have masculine and feminine traits and they come out in different ways. And I think, I think now it's a little different, but that was, that was a little while ago. And I, I love the way they reacted to that thing, you know. Trust me, I think it is really unfortunate because I do think the girl-on-girl thing

is still happening. Like, I see it online every day almost where women are tearing other women down because it's like, oh, like she's trying to be like this or she's trying to be like this. And it's like, guys, now like the men aren't even a part of the conversation anymore. It's literally just all these women going at each other. It's like, let's all just like let each other be. and just accept that you made to like crafting and that's okay. And that doesn't mean you're being try hard to appeal to the male gaze. Like what if you literally just like doing it? Yeah. No, it's really

interesting. I was pretty fascinated. Like in a similar way to the 500 days of summer thing. It is crazy how sometimes the shows, I'm sure you are on, then they spark a larger conversation. And you're kind of like this vessel to people starting to look and be like, oh, wow, we need to now make a social commentary again in another episode and then there you guys did it so it's kind of cool it was fun to be able to be on something where they could respond in real time and we could kind of make something out of the internet was pretty down the internet was pretty divided on whether or not Jess and Nick should have ended up together. There was a lot of back and forth.

Zoe, what was your take? My take was actually, I kind of wished. This was just my own personal feeling because I like leaving things a little unfinished because I like people to decide, like what they think happened. And it's sometimes unsatisfying for people. And I know it's not like really a network TV type ending. but I thought we should like end it before people knew whether it happened or not. Right. So in their heads they can come up with what it was.

Like the graduate ending is like my favorite ending because you're like, okay, he went, he got her out. She's not getting married to this other guy. She ran. She's with him. But do we know if they're going to, then hello darkness, my old friend. We have no clue. I'm like, sound of silence starts playing. I'm like, what's happening? And then they have this like moment of like, we don't know and I like that okay that's interesting I like that you're like I want to let them decide I'd rather let the people let the people argue let the people I love that okay I heard that you don't like to call it fuck Marykill you prefer to say Mary Barry one night stand yes so okay Mary Barry one night stand Nick okay Schmidt Winston um great question I don't I don't want to be like

mean because I love these people no no no the is like just like put them to the side we're not actually burying them okay i think you have to um do it from the perspective of jess i think jess would say well okay let's just say yeah and not the actors because i don't want to yeah the characters let's say mary winston one night's sand nick i'm sorry we have to bury schmidt because he does a lot of bad he does a lot of bad stuff love okay you had both of your kids while filming this show, did you have any hesitations about starting a family during a really busy time in your career? That's a really great question. It was hard. I mean, I remember being like before I could tell anyone I was pregnant, like, because when you're like

less than 12 weeks pregnant, you're not supposed to tell. But I remember being like, like, like, 11 weeks pregnant or something and you're not supposed to drink coffee like you're like you're like you're like one cup of coffee and like I'm used to working like really really long hours like people don't realize like in TV you work like in films like something you work like oh 16 hour day is like normal so I remember and nights and like crazy and I remember working a night and it was like a really long day um and I couldn't drink coffee and I was just drinking like orange juice like nonstop and just being like, this is crazy. Was anyone like, Zoe, do you want a coffee?

And I'd be like, no, thank you. I just, I'm loving this juice. It's like, they're like, we've never seen you drink orange juice before. I'm like, but I'm loving it now. Oh my God. It's like the only way I could keep away was like sugar. Like, okay, so you at first were like, okay, I'm trying to hide it. And then once you, did you tell your cast first? Did you announce it to the world? Like, how did you go about that? Yeah, I told them like a little bit. before I announced it and then, like, they kind of had to write it in. So, yeah, I told them and then they were not write it in.

They had to figure out whether they wanted to write it in or hide it, which they chose to hide it both times. I did think it would have been cool to have written it in because that would have been a cool storyline, I think. But I know there were a lot of great minds thinking on it and they decided not to. And I was just like carrying around laundry baskets like for whole seasons. constantly holding things behind planters what do you think is the biggest challenge that you've faced balancing motherhood and career oh that's that's another great question okay so um

i like really want to be a good mom and i always like want to show up for them like whenever i can um but yeah i mean i've like i realize that so whenever i'm off work I just show up for like everything. Like I'm there picking them up. I'm dropping them off. Like I'm crafting in the, you know, classroom. I'm taking them to play dates. Like I'm going and sitting and waiting for them outside their, you know, their dance classes and all the things.

And and then when I'm working, I just try as much like, I'm like, okay, now it gets to like, okay, they get that, you know, I have to work. And now I show, you know, it's like then it's like, then it's like, school play like there's certain things where it's like you got to be there in as much as you can I get sometimes you can't but like try to get there for like whatever the big game or the school play or like those big things because those are the things they remember a lot that's what I feel like a lot of women especially in a beautiful way now that so many more women are working yeah I think that there's the the fear that a lot of women also talk about the reality of mom guilt And being like, oh my God, I'm here, but I need to, I also wish I was here. And like, how have you kind of balance that when you are working to not let it just like overtake you? Because it can feel probably like a lot. Well, sometimes you feel like you're like, do these people have endless time? Like some people just have a lot of time to go and volunteer all the time. And it's amazing. And I like that is an incredibly important thing. But I don't always have time to do that. And it doesn't mean that I'm not a great

You know, I think it's like understanding that like kids, if they feel loved, like that's the most important thing. And, you know, and it's like everyone has different ways. It's just like you connect with any person, whether they're grown up or a kid, but it's like you connect with your kids in unique ways. And it's like my kids and I each have specific things we connect on. And and I try to like really lean into those things, you know. We make little movies together. That's like something we do. And we'll like pick a genre and like watch a movie in the genre. And then we'll make a little movie in the genre and I'll edit it. And my son likes to do like stop motion animation. So we try to work that in. And then my daughter likes that they loves acting. So they they, they're a good acting partner to have.

Well, I don't I don't even act in them. You're just directing. They act in them. Oh. You're directing and editing. It's really cute. Yeah. I direct an edit.

Yeah. It's really fun. And. And so it's been, and sometimes I'm surprised. Like I only watch the Maltese Falcon because we were making a film noir. And I was like, there's no way they're going to sit through this. And then they sat through the little thing. They were like totally happy.

Look, you're doing what your dad did. Now they're going to have good taste. Right. You have good taste. They have good taste. Let's talk about your relationship. Yes. You are engaged to Jonathan Scott.

Yes. I know that you guys met filming carpal karaoke, which is literally adorable. at what point though did you realize that you were into him and that there was like a spark or a connection right away I was like he's really cute like handsome guy and I was like going through a divorce that was like kind of under wraps because we're you know like for our kids we're like you know in divorce mediation and and so I was just kind of like looking for someone to flirt with like I was like oh I'll flirt with him he's fun you know And, yeah, we, like, immediately had a connection.

And it took a while for him to, like, drag it out. Then I was, like, getting a divorce. And then, yeah, and then we've been, like, inseparable ever since. He's, like, the nicest person. And your siblings were both in the car for carpool karaoke. Afterwards, was your sister, like, this is a no-brainer? Or did they not see the chemistry? She might have been, like, I knew that.

Like, I was like, I'm going on a date with Jonathan. and like she might have been like, I knew it. That's such a sister thing to like pretend they knew exactly. I'm like, no, you didn't. No, that's literally never happened. Well, she kind of does know everything. I know. I don't like to let my sister know that she knows everything.

Do you have an older sister? Older. Yeah. So she's older, so she doesn't. My sister knows everything, but I'm like, no, you don't. No, you don't. Okay. Anyways, come to me when you want the answers.

I'm like, oh, my God. Okay, so you go from carpal karaoke to dating. Like, who made the first move? Like, what happened? well it was probably like a mutual like first move um but um we had a really like funny first date where like half the time he was trying to drag it out of me like what was going on and I was like I'll tell you later because we were like in a crowded restaurant and then we did like karaoke and like we were just going from the thing to thing and then he's like I want you to see

this house I'm renovating and I was like oh he's going to try to kiss me and then he didn't because he's just a nerd who's trying to show me house. And then I was like, well, that weren't like really badly. Stop. And I got in the car and he was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like, you left really fast. And you're like, I thought I was going to get a makeout. Yeah, I was like, I thought we were vibing.

And you eventually got your kiss. So you're vibe. Yeah, yeah, we did. What is... Second date. Perfect. What is Jonathan's best quality as a partner? He's like so...

He's very kind. and he's like he's like almost like methodical about making sure your um like everything's like you're supported he's very supportive and kind and like and like just he's a really nice person I mean he's Canadian God that we say no more I'm like got it we love Canadian we love Canadians we love Canadians um what do you think he would say your best quality as a partner is um I'm fun. I'm literally the life of the party, obviously. Oh, cute.

You're like, I bring the good time. I'm very fun. And he's kind and I'm fun. He's also really fun too. I'm kind too. I'm kind too. I have good taste in men. Done.

Okay, so you got engaged, I know, at a castle on vacation. Yeah. I had, like, I'm curious, did you have any idea you knew you were getting proposed to? No. nothing I had like thought other times we might get like engaged and then it didn't happen and so I was like I guess it's never going to happen because we've been together like a long time and um and we were in Edinburgh which where his family's from and I also like am originally Scottish like my family and but his dad is from actually from like near Glasgow um in Lanark and which is like I'm I don't know, an hour from Edinburgh. Anyway, he loves Edinburgh Castle. And we were going there, like, with the kids, like, on a tour.

And there was this whole, this was what was so funny. There were, like, all these things that I flagged, but didn't, like, I just said, like, that's weird. Because there was a thing that said, like, you might meet members of the royal family, so you can't wear a hat in the calendar. Like, there will be things. And I was like, what? I was like, the queen, like, they wear hats. all the time. Like royal family is obsessed with hats. Why can't I wear a hat? Because I'm always

wearing a hat because I'm like, don't want sun. I'm terrified of the sun. And I'm like, that's so lame. And he's like, no, I mean, it makes sense. And I was like, okay, whatever. I didn't wear hat. Then it was like, he's like, you have to dress kind of nice. And I was like, okay. And I had like a silk blouse and like a silk skirt. I had just put them on. They were like in my suitcase like so wrinkled. He's like, oh, um, do you, would you, would you like to iron those and I was like no I was like iron that's like that sounds terrible that sounds like work right that I don't want to do and he's like I'll iron them and I was like okay this poor man is just trying to make sure you look gorgeous yeah he's like he's like and I guess

my mom was like she's gonna need like hair and makeup oh and he was like you should like make sure to do your hair like for this random tour you're like what are you trying to say why do I need to to my hair. But then I got it. And then there was another surprise, which was incredible because I'm incredibly close with my parents. And they weren't there for the proposal. But we went to Paris afterwards, like maybe a day or two later. And we were going to this restaurant La Coupol that like we went growing up. We'd go to Paris like every summer. My family is French, my dad's family and um when we got there we said oh de chanelle and she said Caleb and I was like oh that's weird and I was like oh no that's because um they just have it like in their system and then they we walked

in my parents were sitting there waiting for us so they surprised us that's adorable and Jonathan had like arranged the whole thing yeah he's very thoughtful you that's really really cute yeah um okay are you wedding planning. Yes, but it's really like a lot of pressure because like, you know, he designs like incredible spaces and like I'm like, there's like no space like worthy of such a wedding. It's really hard to find. That's not like a gazillion. Of course. Dollars. Wait, you got, you just got married. Yes. I got married almost two years ago, like a year and a half. Was that so fun? It was so amazing. But I really, really loved that my husband took such part in the planning, if not, like, really helped do it because I was like, I don't want to do this on my own.

Yeah. And again, to each their own, there are some women that are like, I'm doing this whole thing. But like, I really wanted my husband to plan it. Yeah. And we went through all these different locations and all the things. And then we eventually found what we wanted to do and it was perfect. But it is very stressful. Yeah.

It's fun, but it's stressful. Yeah. So you're going to figure it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we've both been married before. Right. So I'm like, this one has to be the most fun. And so. But maybe that takes less pressure, right? Because you've had weddings before.

So maybe you can be like, yeah, what do we want now? You kind of get to like, yeah, have a do do over. I know, which is why it takes forever. Right. You're like, oh, God. You're like, he's like, oh, we'll do this. You're like, no, that I did that wedding and that was not fun. Mix that. I was going to say, because you guys have both been married before, as you were getting more serious, how openly were you able to just talk about past relationships and like what worked and what didn't work yeah um i'm very open so yeah i mean it was we're it was pretty easy um because i i'm pretty open but you know the thing is like to me it's just all about like chemistry it's like what you know it's like we he and i can be together and it's like easy you know um and so i think it's

like more just about like you know how people like that person's the one or whatever i think what that means is that you can be around them and it feels like easy and like not stressful and you know it just like that's what I felt when I was with him and I think he feels the same way where it's just like we can be together and like have fun but also like he likes to tinker around the house he's always like fixing stuff and he has like a list of things and like I have like I like to go out and go shopping whatever I like to do you know and hang out my cats or um and And yeah, we can just be around each other. It's easy. It's amazing. You said in an interview that people think of divorce as this terrible thing and you have to hate each other, but that

isn't true. What has your experience been like? Yeah, I don't hate anyone that I was with before. And, you know, it's awesome because my kid's dad is a great dad. And, like, I always want to, like, support him as a parent. And we have like a, you know, it's like we have a group chat, like Jonathan and Jacob and I and and and yeah I mean um like my kids thrive when they know that we all care for each other and you know and we socialize and we've been on vacations together and like you know we've we've been through a lot so you know I you know it's like I explained to my son I remember when he was little and he was like wait because he was so little he doesn't remember like before we got divorced but he goes like how come you on dad he don't live

in the same house. And I was like, we get along better if we're in different houses. That's a good way to say it. This is actually better for everyone. Yeah, yeah. We get along great as long as we're in different houses. So true. What boundaries do you think like, because I'm sure a lot of people like, oh my gosh,

that sounds so great to have like a healthy relationship with X's and whatever. But like what boundaries do you think have to be in place to just make sure that, you know, you can have blended families. Yeah. If you have any advice. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I talk to people about this all the time because there are people, like, it's really hard

for them to let go of like feeling mad. You have to let go of like any anger you would feel. And I know that sounds difficult, but it's actually pretty easy when you just go like, look, the most important thing is that the, you know, the kids are happy and that they're thriving. And, and it's kind of like respecting them for them. You know, it's like, I respect his opinions and his point of view, like, being a parent. It's not always the same as mine, but like he respects mine. And so I think, and too, if you set the tone, too, you go like, I respect you, then

people are a lot more likely to be like, then I respect you, you know? So like, I think it goes both ways. So then he'll respect me and I respect him. And then it just keeps and then the respect just keeps generating and building, you know. Yeah. It's like just having like an understanding that, yes, things didn't work out. but we have these beautiful children. So to, like, maintain love there for the kids is, like, beautiful.

Yeah, he's a fantastic dad. I'm so lucky that, you know, he's my kid's dad. I know I read that you said you and your ex agreed to meet each other's partners before they met the kids. Why was that something that was so important to you guys? Yeah, just I think, you know, that's the one, like, really big unknown when you get divorced. And I think it also gives a sense. there's a little bit of a boundary there with so that the kids like they get attached to whoever

you're with and if they're meeting the kids and they're around the kids then they are going to get attached and it's like you don't want anyone to take that lightly like I wouldn't want them to get attached to somebody unless I knew they were going to be in their lives you know um so even if it you know so it it kind of set up it kind of set up this just a little bit of a a protocol so that we took it seriously before we'd introduce a partner to the kits. You have a new movie coming out, which is why I'm in this crazy outfit, but we're celebrating the holiday, Zoe. Merv, congratulations. What can you tell us about the movie and just like, how do you feel about it?

It's such a cute movie. I'm really, really excited about it. It's got so much fun stuff. It's a rom-com, which, like, I love rom-com so much. And, like, I feel like they went away for a while. Like, there weren't that many of them. And I feel happy there's, like, you know, more stuff like that coming out. Because I feel like people crave rom-coms. It's such a sweet story. It's with Charles. Kelly Cox, who is amazing, great actor and is really funny and great in this. It's about a couple that breaks up, but they share a dog, and then the dog becomes depressed, and then they end up having to take the dog on a beach vacation to try to cheer him up over the holidays. So we have holidays. We have dogs. We have rom-com.

Okay, wait, but you're a cat person. I know. Did this sway you to be more of a dog person? Well, I was a dog person. Oh, okay. What happened? So I only recently became a cat person. Oh. I love dogs. Um, but they're a little more like maintenance. Yes. Yeah. And, um, and I love, I actually love both dogs and cats. And I would call my cats kind of, well, my favorite cat. Sorry. I love them all. But she's kind of like a dog cat. What is her name? Her name is dove. She's like really fluffy and cute. And she, the reason why, like I say like, she's my favorite. favorite. The other ones would get it. If they understood. They're big fans. They're all listening right now. But yeah. Well, she just loves me the most. And she like jumps in my lap. She's like really, really affectionate. They're really affectionate cats. So what made you want to do another holiday movie? Well, I didn't really, when I read this, I didn't like think like that was like it's it's more of like a

holiday movie in that it has holiday as a backdrop and you can watch it on Christmas and feel Christmassy but it's not like it's not like elf where it's like holidays front and center I'd say like rom-com and dog are front and center and then holiday is like a is an accent color yeah it's like it's like piping on a sweater like a collar like a nice scarf what was your favorite part of making this movie um it was so fun i uh jess swale the director I love her Charlie is amazing. And it was really fun working with the two of them and kind of, we kind of like did a lot of improvisation and trying to make it like the most kind of funny version of itself was really so much fun. I hadn't done like a really big dog movie. And that was funny to watch the dog just like loves sausages. You're like there's a lot of things I saw on that set that were quite fascinating. loves like they have these little bits of sausage and the dog just obsessed. And that's how you got.

I'm like, sit. Yeah. Like he looks so cute and you're like, it's because he's looking at a sausage. Honestly, in hindsight, my dogs would probably love to be on a movie set because you just like coerce them with treats every five seconds. Like, stay, sit. Don't move. They have health. So like basically they give them like healthy treats so that it's not like they're.

Yes, they're not just plumping up the whole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not like bad for you treats. So they're very healthy treats. It's really cute. But they'll give them like chicken breasts and stuff. that but yeah and sausage well i'm so excited for everyone to watch it where can we watch it it's on amazon love yeah okay well everyone will tune in so we thank you so much for coming on color daddy

it was a pleasure thank you for having me this was lovely special holiday episode brought to you by zoe and alex happy holidays everyone you're like now i wish you wish you wore do you wish you wore a little suit you're like no you're like no i'm mad at myself for not thank you so much for coming on Thank you for having me.