Calm Parenting Podcast - Dads: 3 Quick, Easy Action Steps in 8 Minutes

Episode Date: April 30, 2020

Moms, forward this to your hubby. "It would mean a lot to me if you would take 8 minutes to listen to this podcast." And then tell him to get you the special below. "What I want most for Mother's Day is a calm home with happy kids."Single Moms--Treat yourself to this gift. And if you need help financially, reply back to this message and we'll help you. This is the Mother's Day Gift your wife really wants: A calm home.  We have SLASHED prices on the Calm Parenting Package this week for Mother's Day. You Get ALL of our Parenting Programs for $197. Prices return to $475 next week, so order now and change your home. Digital downloads are included with all orders: Listen directly on your iPhone, Android, or Tablet. You can even share the programs with family members who don't understand you or your kids. Once you purchase, you have access FOREVER, even with new devices. CLICK HERE TO MAKE THIS THE BEST MOTHER'S DAY EVER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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that you can use in your home that are doable, easy to do, and they will make a difference. Women, wives who are listening in to make sure that this is okay to forward to your husband, back me up on this stuff. So number one, lead. I want you to lead. Now, here's what I know about men. In every sphere of life, we as men respect other men who stay calm and cool under pressure, right? With your favorite football team, when your team is losing, you don't want the quarterback coming into the huddle saying, you know what? We're down by two touchdowns. You don't know what route to run. You keep fumbling the ball. Let's go score. Nobody's following that guy. You want your quarterback coming in. He takes in the end and says, guys, we're down by two touchdowns. We're

going to march down the field, execute our plays. We're going to score, get the ball back and score again. Breaks huddle. His team follows him precisely because he's in control of himself. We want our point guard. We want our relief pitcher staying cool and calm because that's who we lead. If you're in the military, you don't want your platoon captain saying, oh my gosh, they're shooting at us, right? At your office, your boss. If your boss freaks out all the time and if, watch, if he always picks out the negative things that you do and never

notices the positive, you'll shut down and you won't respect that man. And I know as a man, the number one thing that you want is respect from your kids. And I want you to have that so that they can learn from your life experience. But if you can't control yourself, how can you expect a little kid to do it? My dad was career military. He was known in our home as the colonel. So it was a ton of fun growing up. And all I learned from my dad was yell, scream, fear, and intimidation. It will not work with a strong-willed child and you'll end up ruining your relationship with that child. And it will cause your wife to have to walk on eggshells all the time, not sure having to manage your emotions for you.

I know that because I did that to my family. But when I started to learn how to control myself and lead, I learned kids want to follow a leader. By the way, dads, they want to please you. So de-escalate. Here's a quick one. Tonight, tomorrow, when your strong-willed child gets upset, because it happens every day,

instead of coming into the room and causing more drama, you know, you need to start. Instead, walk and say, hey, Jacob, listen, I've got to go to the grocery store. Once you get in the car, I'll meet you out in the car in a minute and a half. Lead your child. Get them in the car. Drive around for eight minutes. Doesn't matter what you do. You don't even have to talk to him about what he's upset about. Just de-escalate. And when you come back home 10 minutes later and your son or daughter is calmed down and you're together, your wife will love that. And you will have restored calm in the home. It is an awesome moment. And I'm going to tell any women who are listening, you better, you better affirm your husband when he does these things. And, um, well, I was going to say you need to take them up

to the bedroom, but yeah, you're what do guys, your wife will want you more when you see, when she sees you connecting with your kids and calming situations down instead of having to spend all of our energy, right? All of our energy, manage your emotions and trying to calm everything down. That's exhausting for women. So as soon as you start to control yourself, it has a lot of really cool benefits. Number two, listen to your wife. So right after you get off listening to this podcast, I want you to go and talk to your wife and say this, honey, I need to apologize. I haven't really been listening to you because when you tell me something, I tend to dismiss your concerns. I tend to say things like, oh, you're just overreacting. You know why? Because of the way I was raised, emotions make me

uncomfortable. And so I apologize for that, but I'd like to listen. And so could we go for a walk? I promise you, your wife will go for that walk with you. She has wanted this forever. Men, you don't have to fix her. You don't have to fix situations. Simply listen. Really listen to her. And again, if you do that, she will want you. So one other thing I want you to do for your wife. Mother's Day is coming up. This is simple. You get scared every Mother's Day because you don't know the right thing to get her.

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She wants to be able to enjoy her family because that's what mothers want more than anything in this world. Invest in it. Invest in our programs. There's no BS program. It's a little bit cheaper, but the Mother's Day sale, I world, invest in it. Invest in our programs. There's no BS program. It's a little bit cheaper, but the Mother's Day sale, I guarantee your wife wants it.

Invest in it. Show her that she's important. Show her that changing your family tree is a priority because you spend stuff. You spend stuff on things that you want. So do this for your wife. And we've slashed the prices like 66% off. So you can do this. If you need help, email our strong-willed son, Casey, C-A-S-E-Y,

celebratecalm.com. Number three, I want you to affirm your kids. Affirm your kids. Because here's what I did all the time. I come home from work. Why are the Legos all over the floor? Why can't you ever follow through on directions? You never listen to me. Why do you make everything so difficult? And my son shut down. And what he told me later was, he said, Dad, I wanted to please you because you're my dad. But I felt like no matter what I did, it was never good enough.

And through most of my early childhood, all you ever focused on is what I did wrong, what I wasn't doing right. And I felt like I could never please you and that made me shut down. So dads, for the next week, walk in at the end of the day, or if you're stuck with your kids, don't to COVID time, right? When you come out of your home office,

instead of barking things, go and say, hey, nice job. Very short, little fist bump. Hey, nice job with that. Hey, look, you guys have been quiet all morning. Appreciate that. nice job. Very short, little fist bump. Hey, nice job with that. Hey, look, you guys have been quiet all morning. Appreciate that. Good job. Shows me self-control.

Affirm your kids for who they are, the good qualities that they have. I promise you. So let's review very quickly. Three things. We're going to lead now. We're going to lead in our home because our kids will follow, but you've got to learn how to control yourself first. And this week, I want you to de-escalate one situation. All you have to do sometimes is walk

into the room and sit and not say a word or sit down next to your child while he's upset and start building with Legos or coloring or playing with things because you're being the leader and your kids will follow you and your wife will love that. I want you to listen to your wife. Do that little script that I did just like that. Your wife will love that and start doing it again and again and again. It will change your marriage. It will change your family. And look, I know your wife has things to work on and I do almost all the podcasts or listen to women. They're going to work on their stuff, but you work on your thing now. And number three, affirm your kids. Notice the positive. I got this done in less than eight minutes.

Pretty awesome. If you need some help, email us. Casey, C-A-S-E-Y at CelebrateCalm.com. You can email me, Kirk, at CelebrateCalm.com. Go get the special. Listen to it as you're working through the programs. If you need help, email us and we will walk you through this because you know what you're going to do? You're going to break generational patterns

that you may have gotten from your dad and your kids now will not have to grow up and struggle with the same things you did. Thanks for being dad. You're important and we need you. Let us know if we can help you.