Calm Parenting Podcast - Get Kids Up for School--3 Quick Motivation Tips

Episode Date: August 22, 2020

This spring, the virtual learning experience didn’t work. So let’s not repeat that experience again. You can’t afford to have your kids fall behind. Most school districts still don’t have a good plan. We do. We will give you practical, creative strategies to: (1) Keep kids focused, on task, with structure, without having to badger them.(2) Get kids off screens and learning real life skills.(3) Jump start your child’s brain to push through.(4) Answer your toughest questions (see bottom of page).(5) Cultivate a curious child who loves to learn and grows in confidence. No more fear. No more falling behind. Let’s use this situation as an OPPORTUNITY to help your child move forward with confidence and excitement. Kirk will personally mentor you through the school year with our special BootCamp here: www.celebratecalm.com/school-bootcamp        Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Calm Parenting Podcast listeners get an exclusive 20% off an IXL membership when you sign up today at ixl.com slash kirk. Visit ixl.com slash kirk to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. So we've had five months where kids have been home. There hasn't been a lot of structure and order. So how do we reintroduce that? That's what we're going to talk about today on a very, very quick version of the Calm Parenting Podcast. Welcome. This is Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm. You can find us at CelebrateCalm.com. If you need help, reach out to our son, Casey, C-A-S-E-Y, at CelebrateCalm.com. We have a massive sale going on of our materials, end of summer

sale. We have a brand new boot camp to help you in getting your kids back to school, getting them set. How are you going to do remote learning? We answer a ton of questions on that. So if you're interested, look at the website. If you need help, we'll find the right resources within your budget and help you out. But here's what I wanted to talk about. I'm going to try to make this very, very quick just to kind of get us off to a head start. So we're going to accomplish in this boot camp program, we're going to do everything from jump-starting your child's brain to how are you going to control screens when your kids have to be on a screen to do their schoolwork? And some of you are working full-time, part-time.

Sometimes it's both couples working. Sometimes it's a single mom. How are you going to manage that? How are you going to get them off screens so that they're not sitting there all day long on that? And then also kids sitting, how are you going to get them to do their schoolwork when they're better at moving? We're going to go through all of that in the bootcamp, but this is what I wanted this podcast, reestablishing some order and structure. So I'm going to divide this into three, four, five tips. One, work on yourself. You and I have gotten sidetracked by this whole COVID thing. Everything's been out of whack. So I want you to begin working on your own order and routine, your own traditions.

We love the word tradition. Rules tell people what not to do. Traditions tell us what to do. Traditions are, this is just the way we roll in the home. So what are those traditions? What are those routines that you had before the whole COVID thing hit? Begin doing them again. I want you to get on a better bedtime on your schedule. What is it that you do that makes you feel in order, in control of yourself? Because that will naturally spread out to your kids. Because if you are kind of chaotic and you feel like, oh, the school district doesn't know what it's doing and we're not sure what's going to happen and you're kind of chaotic, your kids are going to pick up on that. So what is that? What are those things that you used to do that bring you some level of comfort, order, and

structure? You begin doing it. Number two, getting your kids up in the morning. So here's the deal. You're probably listening to this because you have a more strong willed child. If you have conscientious kids who love school, you don't really need to do a whole lot, right? They're going to get up and they're going to do their schoolwork on their own. But you have kids who are going to resist and they don't want to get up and school's stupid and dumb and I don't want to do it. I'm going to lay around and I want to be on my screens. I'm going to fight you over everything. So what do we do with those kids? We always take two approaches. We take kind of the carrot and the stick, right? So we do a tough approach and the soft approach. The hard part, and I love the tough approach with kids, but the

really hard part with strong will kids is they usually don't care about the consequence. That said, I want you to begin enforcing some things that are important to you. Hey, every night, here's the new bedtime. Phones have to be on the kitchen counter charging at 9 p.m. every night, whatever time you want it to be. Let's start doing that, establishing some order. When you get up in the morning, the school day, if you're doing remote learning, is going to begin at 9 a.m., at 8 a.m., at 10 a.m., whatever you want it to be. And then you can just go with a very firm thing, which is, hey, schoolwork needs to be done before you get on your phone. Schoolwork needs to be done before there are any video games. Now, for some kids, it's going to be just fine. Some of your kids are going to do some schoolwork, take a

little break, do some schoolwork, take a little break, and we can work with that. But whatever you want it to be, I would definitely do it in a sense that I'm not allowing kids to get on screens in any intense way early in the morning or first thing in the morning, because it's almost impossible to get them off of that, right? So, and I'm fine. Tough discipline doesn't have to be a lot of drama. It can just be, hey, here's how we roll. This is the tradition. No phone until schoolwork's done. No phone until you get two subjects done, whatever you want it to be. And if you violate that, the phone becomes mine. Or I click off the router in the home. You can't access anything. We'll go Amish.

Whatever you want to do, just be even, matter of fact, and firm with that. Now, that said, I like the carrot approach. I like to draw kids. I like to lead kids because it doesn't usually work to just be harsh and tough and go martial law. It's fine, but I prefer this. So let's go. Little kids, how do we get them up in the morning? I love treasure hunts.

I love getting kids up. Hey, I hid your favorite Lego fire engine. I hid your favorite X in the backyard, in the basement, but you can't find it in the next seven and a half minutes. Let your kids wake up and do a treasure hunt where you have to find something because kids, little kids love stumping their parents and doing that. You know, we talk a lot about having an obstacle course, especially for your sensory kids. Have an obstacle course in the basement or in the backyard and hide their food outside. Hey, guess where your breakfast is? Got to go find it outside.

Let them eat their breakfast outside. It's a great thing to do. I don't care if you throw some mac and cheese from the night before out in the grass and let them eat like a cow. I don't care. Get them up and moving. Get them up doing a challenge of some kind. If they're really sensory, if they like rock climbing, if they like climbing up things, if they like swinging, get them doing activity. Fresh air changes moods. Fresh air is awesome. In the boot camp and later podcasts, we'll get to teaching your kids how to learn the best way, but doing it outside, phenomenal way to do it. So let's make it fun for the little kids. Let's get them out doing stuff, a challenge. It can be a job to do that they love. I have kids who love shoveling mulch, digging a hole in the yard.

I don't care. Older kids, and we'll come back to this fresh air thing in a minute. Older kids, connect with them over what they're interested in, what they're curious about. Your caveat, your warning is you're not going to naturally like it. You're going to be repulsed probably by everything a tween or a teen is interested in. I don't care. Be interested in it. Bond over it. Because if you wake them up and say, hey, I'm curious. Why don't you show me and have them show you stuff they're interested in? Bond over music. It's really, really powerful.

You won't like their music, but listen to it. Pull it up yourself so it's playing in the morning and say, hey, if you get downstairs. I did that with Casey. Now, fortunately, I kind of grew to like blues music, but he loved old, like John Lee Hooker. And I'd say, Case, if you get up for school right now, get up in your ready dress in the next 12 minutes. I'm going to blast like John Lee Hooker. And I'd say, Case, if you get up for school right now, get up in your ready dress in the next 12 minutes, I'm going to blast some John Lee Hooker. I downloaded some really cool bootleg stuff.

And we bonded over that in the morning. I hate TikTok. I wish it was not only banned from the US, I wish it was banned from the world. I get it. It's annoying. It's dumb, stupid. But all that makes you sound is old because your parents said the same thing about all the stuff that you liked.

Remember the music we liked? 80s hair band music? That wasn't so awesome. 90s grunge? Like the intensity. But wake them up. Hey, why don't you, if you get up and you're downstairs by 8 45 ready to roll by nine o'clock whatever time you want it to be i'll let you show me your three favorite tiktok videos fine just watch don't roll your eyes and say that's so stupid think it but don't say it ask them be curious why do you like that one why does that intrigue you what's interesting to you about that music? Connect with your kids about things they're interested in. It will get them up in the morning and help. I do

want you to get fresh air. I would encourage you, if you have the flexibility, I would encourage you to make yourself flexible, to get up in the morning and do exercise outside. Get on bikes. There are some kids who love riding bikes. Who says you can't start the morning with a bike ride somewhere? Who says you can't start it with some kind of treasure hunt, with doing some things outside, playing catch, whatever kids like, ding dong ditch. That'd be awesome in the morning, wouldn't it? Get outside. It's really, really helpful. It changes things. Do schoolwork outside. I just encourage you, do that. And here's the thing. You're going to have to lead them outside. You're not going to ask. You're not going to

demand. And guess what? Your kids are going to resist. They're going to hate it at first. I don't want to go. I don't even go to bed. I want to go riding bikes in the morning. Stupid. That's what they're going to do. Just expect it. Don't react to it. Lead them outside. And once they get out there, now they're going to have a good time. Fresh air, exercise helps their brains a lot. Third and final thing is anxiety. Some of you have kids who will be going to a regular school physically, and they're not going to want to go because they have a lot of anxiety. So number one tool for anxiety in school. I want you to talk to the principal, to assistant principal, teacher. Ask someone at that school to give your child a very specific

job to do. Hey, Jacob, listen, I need your help. Every day when you come to school, I need you here a few minutes early. I want you to come to my classroom, come to my office because you're really good at doing X and I could really use your help. Now your child is feeling helpful, like a grownup doing an adult activity. It builds confidence. And when they wake up in the morning, they're not anxious about their friends and social skills in school.

They have a job to do and they know they're good at it. And you start the school with a success, the day with a success. Okay, it's under 10 minutes. Try those three things, control yourself, give your kids some tools. And we're gonna make this a really good school year. If you need help, Casey at CelebrateCalm.com.

Look there. Sign up for the boot camp. You can email me personally about your issues, and I will help you throughout the school year. It's really, really cool. Anyway, thank you for listening. Talk to you later. Bye-bye.