Calm Parenting Podcast - Straight Talk for Dads

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

Wife Coddle Your Child? She Coddles You, Too. It's Time to Change, Men.This is NOT a feel-good Christmas podcast. Men, you don't allow kids to make excuses--but you keep blaming your family life on your kids and wife. Your kids can't control their emotions, but neither can you. And your criticism has never worked and never will. Your wife coddles your child, but she also coddles you because she knows you can't handle things. So she's desperate and alone. Your wife can't replace you as the father--no one can. Your kids will seek to replace you with drugs, sex, or rebellion. You must humble yourself and grow up--or you will destroy your relationship with your child and wife. And you will regret that for the rest of your life. We're bringing back our Black Friday Special for ONE MORE WEEK! We have special deals on the Calm Parenting Package, the Get Everything Package, and the No B.S. Program. Our programs have never been this inexpensive.  Download to multiple devices, share with relatives so they understand you instead of judging you. Change the way you understand, discipline, and motivate your strong-willed child.  Questions? Need help deciding on the best tools for your family? Email [e-mail] and Casey will help you personally!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you know we are very purposeful about how we manage our emotions and take care of our bodies because we only have one body and one skin. That's why we love OneSkin. Their products make it easy to keep your skin healthy while looking and feeling your best. We use the face topical supplement and love that there's no complicated routine, no multiple step protocols, just simple scientifically validated solutions. The secret is OneSkin's proprietary OS1 peptide. It's the first ingredient proven to switch off the aging cells that cause lines, wrinkles, and thinning skin.

OneSkin is the world's first skin longevity company. By focusing on the cellular aspects of aging, One Skin keeps your skin looking and acting younger for longer. Get started today with 15% off using code KIRK at oneskin.co. That's 15% off at oneskin.co with code KIRK. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them, so please support our podcast and tell them we sent you. Hey moms and dads, you know that our goal is to raise curious kids who love to learn, and IXL makes that so much easier. IXL is an online learning program that enriches your homeschool curriculum from K to 12.

IXL encourages students to be curious and empowers them to choose how to learn. No matter your child's learning style or knowledge level, IXL has video tutorials and learning games to guide your child in the way your kids learn best while meeting them at their level. On IXL, kids can explore any topic in any grade level. They're not forced into a single learning path. Kids love IXL's positive feedback, and parents love knowing specific skills that need work. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now.

Calm Parenting Podcast listeners get an exclusive 20% off an IXL membership when you sign up today at ixl.com slash kirk. Visit ixl.com slash kirk to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. What do you do when you have a child who makes everything so difficult? He melts down over little things you don't even understand, talks back to you, is disrespectful, says things that you would have never said to your dad. Everything's a power struggle from putting your shoes on to doing your schoolwork. They won't push through. Dinner time's hard. Bedtime's hard. Everything's difficult. That's how my son was everything I

didn't even like him when he was little I didn't he was embarrassing he wasn't a good athlete and I spent all my time trying to change him until I realized I was the one who needed to change and so this is a message for dads it's three days for before Christmas not what I expect to be saying but I keep getting emails from your wives saying, please, can you do something, get through to my husband? So I've done some sweet podcasts, nice podcasts and encouraging ones and given strategies. Today, this is a man speaking to other men. It's a very simple and direct message and it's this. If you do not step up, stop making excuses, and take ownership of your own behavior, you will irrevocably, for the rest of your life, ruin your relationship with that child that you love.

You may not like them right now, but you will ruin your relationship with your child, and you will also ruin your relationship with your wife. Because your wife will always love your kids more than they love you and I. It's just the way that it works. And I promise you, if this happens, you will regret your very life and you will end up lonely and you will be beating yourself up because all along you've been making excuses. Well, if my child would just stop doing this, if my wife would just stop coddling our son. Men, you and I, when we talk to our kids, we don't allow them to make excuses. Nope, you can't blame it on your

coach. Can't blame it on your teacher. Can't blame it on your mother. You need to own your own actions, son. That's what we tell them. And yet we make the same excuses. Well, if my child, well, my wife coddles our child. That's our problem. You know why your wife coddles your child? You know what the truth is? She coddles you as well because she's alone, because you left her alone and you ditched her and you are not being responsible because you're doing what I did, which is say, you know what? This is hard. I'll go to the work. I'll go to the office. I'll earn a living because I'm really good at that. And I'll let my wife raise the kids, handle the home stuff. And your wife, the reason she coddles your child is because she's overwhelmed and you abandon her emotionally in many ways.

And she has to walk on eggshells. You know what? Your wife coddles you. She doesn't even bring stuff up anymore because you, like me, dismissed her. And you just, oh honey, you're overreacting. You're just coddling him. She coddles you as well because you're not being a man and you're not being a grown-up. And she's left alone walking on eggshells all day long because she's got to manage the emotions of her child because you can't handle it when your child gets upset. And now she has to make sure you don't get upset because that's going to ruin the relationship with a child that she loves. It doesn't work and it will not work. And it all comes down to you and I as men need to humble ourselves and change ourselves. Two things that women moms write in about. One, controlling your

emotions. Men, I get it. Your kids are difficult and they say things to you, but every time you react by getting upset, guess what you're doing? You're modeling for your child how to not be able to control your emotions. How can you expect your kids to control their own emotions if you as the adult in the home cannot even control your own emotions. Look, it is what we expect of our leaders. We want the quarterback, the platoon captain who can control himself under pressure because that's when people respect him. And I know you want respect from your child, but they will not respect you if you're always flying off the handle. So you've got to learn to do that. We can show you how to do that, but that's not the point of this podcast. Second thing we do as men is we criticize our kids, mainly because that's

what our dads did to many of us. I would shake my head and point out everything that my son was doing wrong because I thought that would motivate him to change. It does not work. It will not ever work. You're waiting for it to somehow like some trigger in their brain to finally get it. All that's going to happen is they're going to grow angry at you and they're going to resent you. They will not respect you and they will shut down on you.

And I want you to know, men, you are irreplaceable in the home. Nobody, nobody can replace the father in the home. Your wife cannot fill your place and your role in the home and your role in the heart of your child. There is something they get from their father and it has to be a deep level of acceptance because if they do not get it,

they will fill it somewhere else. Usually by something rebellious because they want, watch, teenage boys often will become very rebellious because you know what they're doing? It's a big F you right back at their dad saying, you know what? You've always pointed out everything that's wrong. You always said I was going to be a loser. Well, guess what? Here I am, dad, proud of me. That's what happens, men. That's what happens. And that's on you. That's on me. You and I need to grow up and be the men. Stop abandoning our wives so they coddle the child and

coddle us. They will fill it. Some of your girls are going to fill it by looking to boys for affirmation. Some of your kids are going to get into drugs and alcohol and they're going to be like, see, I told you. No, that came because you didn't do it and I didn't do it. So I need you to step up and I'm encouraging you. I'm imploring you to humble yourself and work on this and commit to this, this Christmas. Look, your wife doesn't want any gifts. She wants a new family. She wants a husband who walks alongside of her, who her kids can respond to, who's connecting with that difficult child. That's what she wants. That's what your family needs. If we can help you with that, email our strong-willed son, Casey, C-A-S-E-Y at CelebrateCalm.com. Email me, Kirk, at Celebrate Calm. We will help you. Go to Celebrate Calm. Your wife has been telling you, we really want to,

we need that calm parenting package. And you're like most men, like me, who's like, no, we don't need that. He's just a self-help guy. Not a self-help guy. I'm not Tony Robbins. I'm not going to ask you to walk on hot coals. I'm not going to tell you, I'm not going to get you all hyped up. What I'm telling you is the truth is that you need to step up and change. And we put together tools that will help you. And these tools, Calm Parenting Package, we've got a Black Friday sale still on for many of the frugal men out there, a Christmas sale. We can help you and it costs a whole lot less than divorce or therapy and it works. And we show you exactly how to get control of your emotions, how to actually motivate your kids. But you have to take the next step and you have to do this. And I promise you will never regret

it and it will change your family. And you have an opportunity now because if you keep going like this, your wife will leave you. Your child will check out. And it will not work without you involved. Step up, men. Let's step up. And let us show you. Let us help you. But reach out to us, okay?

Thanks for listening to this and hanging in there. Let's make this the year that we change.