Calm Parenting Podcast - Teachers: Behavior Issues in Class? 10 Ideas.

Episode Date: September 26, 2017

Do you have a child or student who struggles with behavior, impulse control, social skills, following directions, anxiety, and/or sensory issues. How can you handle all of these issues and build a child’s confidence at the same time? Learn practical ways to improve concentration, impulse control, social skills, and more. Share this with your child’s teachers. So how can you handle all of these issues and build a child’s confidence with limited time and resources? Listen to this 19-minute podcast to learn how to: Use a child’s gifts and talents to build confidence. Create successes with specific missions. Build social skills with joint projects. Get kids engaged and more attentive. Meet sensory needs without touching other kids. Use cross-brain stimulation to improve concentration. Use visuals to help kids follow directions. Want Kirk to speak to teachers at your school? Click here for information on our Teacher In-Service Training. Or email [e-mail] with "BEHAVIOR" in the subject line for a one-page proposal. Want another 50 ideas just like this to help your child? Click here to see the special on our two most comprehensive programs to help kids in school Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Hey, hello everyone. This is Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm, and I wanted to do a short podcast for teachers because I know from being in literally hundreds of classrooms, it's a really frustrating job. If there's one thing I know, it's that teachers, parents, and students share one thing, and it's just frustration over unrealistic expectations from everyone in society, right? It's just really tough. So our goal is to give parents, teachers, and kids very, very practical tools for everyday situations. And so I can't do every situation in the classroom, but I wanted to take one example of, say, a student that you have that has behavior

issues, maybe struggles with impulse control, doesn't get along well with the other kids, he struggles with following directions, you have to constantly remind him, and I get it because it's really draining, and I know that because my own son was like that and I was like that. So what makes our program a little bit different is this. Look, there's a lot of science and research behind this, but I don't usually share that. I do a lot of training of teachers in professional development. We have a program called Brain Boosters. And when I do live presentations, I talk a little about the science and research, but my real focus is on the real practical application in the classroom.

Because what I decided to do many, many years ago was to actually dedicate years of my life to going into actual classrooms. And I spent literally over a thousand hours or more in real classrooms all across the country so we could see what's really going on and how can you really help. So let me give you an example that we use. In our curriculum, we call it the Tuesday morning approach, which means this. If we train teachers on a Monday afternoon, we want those teachers to walk into the classroom on Tuesday morning equipped with 15 or 20 really practical interventions that actually work in the classroom. So let me give you an idea of just one of those, okay?

And if you like this, give me feedback and I'll do a few more podcasts and address some different issues like anxiety and kids melting down and sensory issues. But let's take one of your common students and we're just going to call him Jacob. And he struggles with all of these different things. So let's say it's recess time, right? But you know that Jacob struggles at recess because he doesn't really get along well with the other kids, right? Like he's got this thing called asynchronous development, which means he's out of sync. So intellectually, he's kind of advanced. He's very bright, not always intellectually motivated, but he's a really bright kid. So he can talk about, um, all kinds of, uh, really fascinating

things with adults, with the principal, with adults, with older kids, but with, um, young, but with kids, his own age, he kind of struggles to connect, right? And emotionally and socially, he's a couple of years behind and that's why he gets along better with little kids or even animals, but he struggles to get along with kids, his own age. So recess is kind of hard. And then what you know is when he comes in from recess because it was stressful, then he's all out of sorts and his face is all red and sweaty and nasty and you can't get him on task. And so it takes like 10 minutes just to get him kind of settled down. So I want to give you kind of two ideas. And even if you can't use these specific ideas, I hope it triggers some thoughts.

And in our approach, we talk a lot about tools. Instead of just giving kids consequences, because look, you know this is true. Most of these kids that we're talking about, they just don't respond to consequences. They don't work. And if they did work, you wouldn't be listening to this, right? They don't work at home or the classroom. Sending them to the principal's office doesn't work. And if they did work, you wouldn't be listening to this, right? They don't work at home or the classroom. Sending them to the principal's office doesn't work. We want to give kids tools to succeed.

So here's an example. So I say to this kid, hey, Jacob, listen, I could really use your help with two things. And I say that because these kids, those words are magical. I could really use your help. These are kids who can be obstinate, defiant, very willful, very strong-willed kids that can refuse to do work. They refuse to do things the way you want it done at times. But what I know about them is they have very big hearts too. And they love to feel helpful like an adult.

So when I go and say, hey, listen, I could use help with two things. And the first thing I'm going to address is recess time. So Jacob, listen, I could really use your help at recess. I could use your help if you don't mind, because next week we're going to begin studying a new unit on reptiles. And what I've noticed is you're amazing at drawing because I have seen, you know, you doodle all the time. You write on other kids' flesh. I've seen your graffiti in the boys' bathroom. It's highly inappropriate, but actually really good. I'm just kidding with those things, but you'll see, look, with a lot of these students, you're going to have to hold your tongue because you do see all of

these things, right? But what I want us to start doing is see the good and positive side of these attributes so that we can use them to our advantage, right? So all of those traits that irritate you, I guarantee if you can find the flip side to them, they're the very traits you can use to actually help them be successful in class. So Jacob, listen, you're really good at drawing. And what I was going to do is bring some poster board outside. And Jimmy over here, he's also loves drawing too. Could you guys do me a favor at recess? Could you guys draw some reptiles, just some different reptiles that you like, dinosaurs, whatever you like. And then next week, I will hang your posters up on the classroom walls. So I could use that. It would actually help me teach

next week. So watch what we're doing with this, right? So again, these are kids who don't always get along socially. They have trouble at recess because they don't play games well with other kids. They cheat. They change the rules of the game. They'll steal the ball. And so now you're giving him something very purposeful and constructive that he can do and that he can do well. It's a very specific job that he can do. You're also showing off his gifts, right? You're taking advantage of the fact, yeah, I can rattle off 10 things that Jacob doesn't do well. But what I want to focus on now is he really is very creative and he's very good at drawing. So now I get to show that off to the class and I get to use that

to help me. I have now created a success, right? Because if I just say, hey, go run along, have a good time at recess, go play with the other kids. He doesn't know how, and he's going to end up getting rejected by other kids. He's going to be, end up getting in trouble with you, right? So now I just created a success. I've neutralized him at recess, and I know this will sound bad, especially to the parents, but look, we had these kids in our home. We'd have we had 1500 of these strong will kids in our home and i'd have about 10 to 15 of them at a time and they all had different issues and some days when i had stuff that had to be done sometimes i just had to get through the day i couldn't make everybody successful and accomplish everything but sometimes I had to take the child who was just having a really exceptionally rough day and just kind of get through with him.

So in a sense, what I'm doing is I'm creating a success, but I'm also keeping him away from that situation where I know he's just going to fail, if that makes sense. And listen, I want to give you permission. If you're a parent listening to this, if you're a teacher listening to this, I want to give you permission, not that you need it from me. But sometimes you just have to get through the day and survive to live, to teach and parent another day. Right. As parents, sometimes you're not going to get homework done. You're not going to get anything done, but you just need to survive. So if all you're going to do is make mac and cheese and play with the kids and finally get them to bed and get to bed yourself without developing a drinking problem or hurting your kids, then you did a good job that

day, right? So just some days you've got to get through. But look, I've done something else. I got this student engaged in my lesson plan because now I gave him some ownership. I'm teaching about reptiles. You can help me. And I've also built his confidence because at the end of recess, when he comes back in, he's not feeling bad because the other kids didn't play with him. He can't kick the ball the right way. He runs in the opposite direction. Instead, he gets to show off something that he's good at doing. And I love that. Now, here's the second aspect of when he reenters the classroom. So again, I'm going to address Jacob and say,

Jacob, listen, I need your help with something else as well. Listen, you know, like in the classroom, these desks get really dirty. So here's what's going to happen. When I blow the whistle for the end of recess, here's exactly what I want you to do. I want you to come back in my classroom, but remember, we have a tradition in our classroom that when you come through the door of my classroom, you always come through in slow motion. A little side note, early on in some of the teacher training, we'll go through establishing not just rules in your classroom, but I love the idea of traditions.

Rules tell kids what not to do. Traditions tell them what to do, right? And so I want to create an environment, a classroom, where I have a culture where it's not just about what they're not supposed to do, but I'm creating a culture of what we do do, right? And traditions. And so one of the things I have in my classroom or my home was I got tired of telling kids, you don't get to run in and out of my front door. So I switched it around and made it a positive and say, oh, we've got a cool tradition. When you come in, you come in in slow motion. No matter who comes through my in, you come in in slow motion. No matter who comes through my door, they come through in slow motion. And it was interesting to see how creative

they were. By the way, it was funny. One time we had a UPS or FedEx guy come to my house delivering a package. He comes marching through my door to deliver the package and the 15 little cops, judges, and attorneys all wrapped in one, which is what these kids are. So, hey, Mr. FedEx guy, we have a tradition in Mr. Martin's home. You have to come through in slow motion. So they make this grown man walk back outside and come through in slow motion. And I never saw him again. I think he changed his route, but I love the idea of a tradition. So Jacob, you're going to come through in slow motion. And then I want you to picture these three things in your brain right now. One water bottle, three paper towels, and the front row of desks in my classroom. Here's why this is important. Again, I'm working in a lot of things here. Giving kids directions. A lot of research says when you paint images in a child's brain,

especially boys and your husbands, but especially boys, when you paint images in a child's brain, especially boys and your husbands, but especially boys, when you paint an image in the brain, it helps them remember it because you're dealing with kids who have these really busy brains. And we talk so much in modern day culture, parents all morning, talk, talk, talk, got to do this, get this, got to, got to, got to, got to, got to. And everything is verbal and it gets jumbled in their brains. And I prefer to create pictures. So I just created a picture, a water bottle, three paper towels, front row of desks in my classroom. Jacob knows what I want him to do. Come clean the desks in the classroom. So now he's coming in from recess. There's a lot of chaos and disorder after recess, right? Because all the kids are coming in. A lot of them have

played together. Jacob doesn't usually get to play with the other kids. So he's feeling bad about himself. The other kids are laughing and joking. It's kind of loud. The majority of your kids are doing the right thing by coming in, sitting down at their desk. They're opening up their books. They're getting ready to learn. But kids like Jacob struggle with transitions. So I'm giving him a way to transition with a very specific job. And listen, it's very specific. I said three paper towels. I didn't say the whole roll. Okay. I said the water bottle is going to be used to spray down the front row of desks, not all the desks and not other children. The visuals, again, really, really important. The specific job is important because it focuses his brain on doing a very specific job. And these kids tend to be good at doing specific

jobs. I've also given him a place to put his hands. So instead of touching all the other children or doing things he shouldn't, I'm giving him something to do. Now, Jacob's up on the front row of desks and he's spraying down the desks and now he gets to wipe off the desks. And if you can picture this in your brain, what's he doing? He's wiping. He's going in a circular motion. He's scrubbing. Remember Karate Kid, wax on, wax off. And what were we doing? We were meeting sensory needs, right? And so when that child is doing those circles and cleaning that desk, what's happening is a few things.

One is we're crossing the midline of the brain and the body. So I'm promoting cross-brain communication. I'm getting the left and right sphere of the brain talking to each other, which is very good for concentration and helping kids to learn, right? I'm also getting some sensory pressure because this may be a child who likes pushing against things, including other children. And so now he's getting to push down on this desk. But see, there's a big principle we teach, which is this. Whenever you tell a child

to stop doing something, you always give him something appropriate to do. Because for most of these kids, the entire day is, Jacob, stop it. Hands to yourself. Jacob, you can't do that. Stop, stop, stop. And now I'm giving him a way to meet that sensory need in an appropriate way. And so he's doing the wax on wax off. And look, he doesn't know that I'm doing all of this and working on his sensory issues, but I am. And now again, at the end, I've created a success. And at the end of this little scenario that only takes two and a half minutes, I get to say, hey, Jacob, good job. That's the way we do it in our classroom. And I get to praise him. And my praise isn't too overt, right?

Like, oh, Jacob, you did such a wonderful job. I don't like doing that because it sounds condescending. And I expect a lot of these kids, right? So when I say, hey, Jacob, good job, man. That's the way we do it in my classroom. And I give him a little fist bump. I'm affirming him for what he did right, but I'm not making too big of a deal out of it. And does that make sense? I wish I could do, and I will, if you give me feedback, you can email me at Kirk. It's K-I-R-K at Celebrate Calm, C-A-L-M, CelebrateCalm.com. Email me, tell me what you're struggling with, and I'll either answer you by email or I'll do another podcast and answer a bunch of questions because in our Brain Boosters

training, we go through about 20 or 25 of these examples, and we go through things like how do you handle anxiety? What do you do with a kid who hides under his desk, gets upset, and throws things, right? How do you calm an upset child? How do you do some work in some weird ways, right? We've had great success with many kids during classwork time or taking a test, letting them do their schoolwork while sitting underneath their desks. Sensory issues, getting kids using a sensory strip to improve concentration.

I've got awesome ideas for that, so email me. The other thing that you can do as well is this. You can go to celebratecalm.com, and on there you'll see a place that says book Kirk or free events. There's something on teacher training. Um, if you want to go to celebrate calm.com backslash ADHD dash brain dash boosters. So the celebrate.com celebrate calm.com backslash ADHD dash brain dash boosters. You will see, we have a whole program on this and you can take advantage of that for your school. You can email me, email Emily at

celebrate calm. You can call us at 888-506-1871. And, um, we're glad to help you answer questions. If you want to schedule training at your school, just reach out to us and tell us what your school is. If you're a parent, tell us what your school is. I don't mean to, um, uh, it's always hard to say this, but I'll just say it bluntly because I've been doing it for a long time. Teachers actually love our training. You know why? Because it's fun and it's practical because I've been to a lot of professional development and it's usually all theory and it's boring. And the people are PhDs who've never been in an actual classroom.

And so our training is really wonderful because we give teachers tools that make their jobs easier. We give teachers tools to do what they really, their hearts want to do, which is teach and love these kids and help build the students' confidence. And we do something cool, which is on the same day we train teachers, we'll do a parent workshop, and my son will even conduct a school assembly to teach kids how to control their emotions, impulses. Anyway, it's cool stuff. There's another podcast that you can look at for teachers and parents, but it's one, it's called Discipline When Consequences Don't Work. And I go through a few classroom examples there as well. So if we can help you, let us know. My two biggest heroes in life are teachers

who changed my life when I was having a rough time as a kid. Mr. DeVita and Mr. Saxon believed in me so much they would send my writing assignments and essays back in reports and say, you can do better. And I didn't like them at the time, but you know what? They believed in me. And they're the reason that I'm actually a pretty good writer right now. And I do what I do. So if you're a teacher, thank you for what you do. If you're a parent, thank you for what you do. If you're a parent, thank you for what you do. So reach out to us. We're glad to help.

Let us know other topics for podcasts, and we will be glad to help you out. But remember to give these kids tools to succeed and keep enjoying them. Thank you for what you do. Bye-bye.