Calm Parenting Podcast - Teachers: Sensory, Social Skills & Transitions in Class

Episode Date: October 23, 2017

Teachers: Sensory, Social Skills & Transitions in Class Kirk provides two practical, concrete classroom examples to help kids who struggle with social skills, executive function, sensory issues, transitions, and more. This fifteen minute podcast is filled with tools to help struggling students succeed and build confidence without crushing their spirits. Forward to teachers and use the principles at home. Email [e-mail] with the word REPTILE in the subject line or call 888-506-1871 to book Kirk at your school/church or get help with our resources. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey moms and dads, you know that our goal is to raise curious kids who love to learn, and iXL makes that so much easier. iXL is an online learning program that enriches your homeschool curriculum from K-12. iXL encourages students to be curious and empowers them to choose how to learn. No matter your child's learning style or knowledge level, IXL has video tutorials and learning games to guide your child in the way your kids learn best while meeting them at their level. On IXL, kids can explore any topic in any grade level. They're not forced into a single learning path. Kids love IXL's positive feedback and parents love knowing specific skills that need work.

Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now. Calm Parenting Podcast listeners get an exclusive 20% off an IXL membership when you sign up today at ixl.com slash kirk. Visit ixl.com slash kirk to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. So you know we are very purposeful about how we manage our emotions and take care of our bodies because we only have one body and one skin. That's why we love OneSkin. Their products make it easy to keep your skin healthy while looking and feeling your best. We use the face topical supplement and love that there's no complicated routine,

no multiple step protocols, just simple scientifically validated solutions. The secret is One Skin's proprietary OS1 peptide. It's the first ingredient proven to switch off the aging cells that cause lines, wrinkles, and thinning skin. OneSkin is the world's first skin longevity company. By focusing on the cellular aspects of aging, OneSkin keeps your skin looking and acting younger for longer. Get started today with 15% off using code Kirk at OneSkin.co. That's 15% off at OneSkin.co with code K-I-R-K. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. So please support our podcast and tell them we sent you. Hey everyone, this is Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm, and you can find all of our resources at CelebrateCalm.com. Got videos, blogs, all kinds of stuff. So today I want to talk

to you about kids who struggle with social skills, with transitions, with following directions, with sensory issues. And this will be for parents, but really also for teachers directly. And parents, you can always share these podcasts with teachers. And what we like to do is try to give very, very, very practical, concrete strategies that actually work in the home and in the classroom. All of it's based in science and research. But what makes us different, I think, and why teachers actually love our training especially is it's very practical, right? So we took the science and research and I went into literally hundreds of classrooms, spent thousands of hours in real classrooms across the country, elementary, middle,

high school, public school, private school, Montessori schools, everything, so that we could take these learnings and then apply them to real life situations. So I'm going to go through two scenarios here and two ideas for you, but there'll be a lot packed into this. So let's say you've got that child in your class, that student, and we'll call him Jacob because a lot of the kids I worked with were named Jacob. You know, just kind of a strong willed kid, or maybe he's a really creative kid and he struggles with focus and attention, executive function, anxiety, organization, following directions, impulse control. Maybe he gets upset easily. You know what I'm talking about. He just struggles in school.

And look, typically what we do with our kids is we use those behavior charts, but they tend not to work. Consequences don't work because we're not really getting to the root of the issue and giving the child tools to succeed. So I want to start building successes. So here are two ideas. So let's say you've got one of these kids in class and you're like, oh, at least at recess he'll get to go outside and run around and it'll be good for him. But then what you find out is many of these kids struggle at recess because they don't get along well with other kids that well. Many of these kids have

something called asynchronous development. So asynchronous, they're out of sync. Intellectually, they're often a few years ahead. Really bright kids, just not always academically motivated, but they can have great conversations with older kids or adults. Love getting sent to the principal's office because they will charm the principal and solve all the world's issues. But socially and emotionally, you'll notice them in class doing silly things, goofy things, sometimes kind of things to get into trouble, and they're a year or two behind, so they tend to get along better with little kids or animals. So watch, you've got this great dichotomy between getting along

better with adults and then younger kids or animals. Who do they struggle to connect with? Well, kids their own age. And unfortunately, these kids have to go to school for 12 straight years with kids that are only their same age. So it's kind of tough. Now, they're out on the playground. Here's what else hurts. These are kids who have very, very, very busy brains, brains running a million miles a minute, and it feels like it's out of order or out of control.

So what happens with these kids is if things feel like they're out of control, their natural instinct is to control situations and to control people. It's why they're often bossy. It's why when they play games, they will change the rules of the game. They will quit or they'll cheat. And look, they're not doing it on purpose, right? Like no kid wakes up in the morning and says, wow, today I want to be really difficult. I want my parents to yell at me in the morning and then I want to get in trouble at school.

I hope that I don't have any friends. I hope that nobody invites me to the sleepover or the birthday party. And then when I get home, I really want my parents to yell at me because I'm struggling with homework. And then I have trouble at bedtime and dinnertime. I'm really picky. You know, no child wants that, right? So I try to get into the heart of the child and really into the brain of the child and figure out what's going on. So let me give you one idea for one of these kids. So imagine you go up and say, Jacob, listen, man, I could really use your help because those are magical words for strong willed kids. They love helping other adults and feeling like they're doing something purposeful. So listen, Jacob, next week,

we're beginning a new unit on reptiles. I've noticed you're really good at drawing. Listen, I've seen your graffiti in the boys' bathroom. It's highly inappropriate, but actually very good. Kidding. But you want to always, look, you always want to affirm the kid, your, your kids and your students gifts and what they're good at doing. Because in our society,

we tend to spend all of our time trying to fix every single weakness that they have. And then we neglect to notice their gifts and their gifts are where they derive confidence. So listen, you're really good at drawing. And I noticed James over there, he loves to doodle and draw as well. So listen, at recess, if I brought out some poster board, could you guys draw some reptiles for me? And then next week I'll hang them up on the blackboard so everybody can see them. And I'll actually use them in class. It would help me a lot.

So watch what we're doing. And I know for the teachers, it's not your job to help kids build social skills. But if you can do this kind of thing and it doesn't actually take you any extra time, all the better. And actually, most of the strategies that we try to provide, the interventions, they don't take extra time. Right. I don't want you to have to redo your whole lesson plan. I'm actually trying to save time because if I can do something like this very purposefully, then I'm saving the fights on the playground and all the disagreements. And then you have to go and break up all the fights and lecture the kids how they need to take turns. But these kids don't

like to take turns. And then they're going to tell you how bad Jacob was and how he cut in line and how he cheats. And I want to get, you know, I don't want to have to deal with that. And so look, I've got these two kids drawing. I'm using their gifts and talents. I've got two kids doing something together. And one of the easiest ways to build social skills is to get a couple kids working on a project together. Because now they're not necessarily trying to dominate each other. They're working on something together. And you've found they have something, something in

common, right? They may love dinosaurs. So it's a natural way for them to start building kind of a little, uh, friendship. And then Jacob's not sitting there by himself, drawing the reptiles. You've got them with another student, right? Now here's the other thing. The next, the next week, you know, after, after he, after they draw the reptiles, you have an opportunity to say, man, you guys did an awesome job. Look, those are the best reptiles I have ever seen drawn. You guys are like experts at this. And see, instead of having to kind of get on this child because he didn't play well, you know, he didn't get along with the other kids. Now you've just been able to affirm something that he's good at doing. And then next week, when you put up this

poster board in your room, the other kids get to see that Jacob, while he gets in trouble quite a bit, sometimes can be a little bit annoying, man, he's really good at drawing. And you know what, they're going to notice like, wow, he likes dinosaurs too. It may just help build a few friendships. So that's kind of an easy one to do. So let me show you another one where we're going to get into anxiety, transitions, sensory issues, just about everything. So same kind of situation, but you know that your kids, certain students, they struggle with transitions. So coming back from the cafeteria, coming in from recess, they just struggle and they're going to come into the classroom.

And, you know, they kind of just cause issues. They don't always settle down. You've got to redirect them a hundred times. So kind of follow this. So I'm going to tell Jacob, listen, Jacob, listen, I need your help. When we come in from recess, when I blow the whistle and you guys come in from recess, here's what I need you to do. Remember the tradition in our classroom. When we come back in, we always come through in from recess. Here's what I need you to do. Remember the tradition in our classroom.

When we come back in, we always come through in slow motion. And I'll throw this in there. I love traditions, right? So rules are good, but rules tell kids what not to do. Traditions tell kids and all of us what to do. You know, if I say Thanksgiving, you don't think of all the things you're not supposed to do. You think of all the things you're going to do and what are the traditions and who brings the pumpkin pie and who does the stuffing. So the idea was, and here's where I got it. We used to have these camps in our home where I'd have 10, 15 kids in my house. I did this for a decade and I had 1500 kids come through my home and I got tired of yelling at them all the time, right? Like don't, do not run into my house. Do not run through my front door. You

guys need to walk. So one day I got the idea about doing a tradition. Hey, new tradition in my home is this. When you walk through the front door of my home, you always come through in slow motion, no matter who it is. That's the tradition in my home. So the funny thing was one day we had a FedEx guy bring a delivery and he came walking into my house with these big boxes and all these little kids. And you know what they're like. They're like little cops, judges, and attorneys all rolled into one. They're like, hey, Mr. FedEx man, Mr. Martin has a tradition in his home. Everybody who comes through does slow motion. You need to walk back out and come back in.

So this poor FedEx guy has to back up, go out the door, and he did it, but I don't think he ever came back. He asked for a different route. But the idea is if you have traditions in your classroom, it's really nice. What's the tradition for, what do we do after you take a test when you come back in from the cafeteria? What's the tradition for lining up for recess? Whatever it is, the more kids own it, you know, the more they're going to follow it. So remember the tradition, come through in slow motion. Then I want you to picture these three things in your brain. One water bottle,

three paper towels, and the front four desks of my classroom. Now do that for a few reasons. One, research shows kids and especially boys and your husbands, remember pictures and images much better than they remember words. Many of our kids struggle with, because they have those busy brains, they have trouble with multiple step processes and remembering lots of little things, short-term memory. But a picture in the brain, they can picture it. And I did this with my son and the kids we worked with all the time, and it really works well. So I said, one paper, one, one water bottle, three paper towels, front four desks in my classroom. Now your child knows what I want them to do. When he comes in, I want him to clean the front row of desks in my classroom. So, uh, uh, recess time is over, blow the whistle. Call him in. Jacob comes in, remembers his tradition, comes through in slow motion. Now his brain is focused on doing the job. And watch, it's very specific. I said one water bottle, three paper towels. I didn't clean the desks, the front four, not the entire classroom.

And I don't want him spraying down other students. All of my directions are very, very specific with these kids. So he grabs his water bottle and the paper towels. Now he's coming up and cleaning. And a couple things are really beautiful here. Picture this. He's cleaning, rubbing the front row of desks in my classroom. Remember Karate Kid? Wax on, wax off. You know what he was doing back then. He's crossing the midline of the brain and the body. And what we're doing is getting both hemispheres of the brain, the right also is very settling and it's a great exercise.

That's why sweeping something in your classroom is actually really, really helpful. Even sweeping, even lifting heavy books sometimes before doing a writing project can be really helpful for kids. So it's cleaning the front row desk. We've got wax on, wax off. He's getting some sensory pressure, right? So this is a kid who feels like he likes pressure. And if he doesn't get that pressure in positive ways, he's going to get that by applying pressure to other students.

And you don't want that. So now I'm giving an opportunity to press down on these desks, right? And it feels really good for him. The other thing is many of the kids who are OCD, and some of you are like this, it feels good when you see something going from being dirty to clean. It feels good. And he gets to see those four desks

in the front of the classroom. They're kind of shiny now. There's a sense of accomplishment, right? And look, I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but for kids who really struggle and who don't do many things well in school, the fact that he did clean and that it looks better feels good. And now at the end of this situation, again, you get to compliment. Hey, Jacob, nice job cleaning, man.

Good job. Throw the paper towels away and have a seat. Look, I just created a success. And it's one of the things we teach in our training. We do this training for parents and teachers. We do a brain boosters training just for teachers. And it's all about giving tools for kids to help them create successes. Because the truth is, if you just wait long enough with these kids, they're going to mess up. And here's what you're going to hear. Hey, Jacob, listen, stop. How many times do I have to tell you? And it's just that negativity continually. And then these kids eventually just shut down and they'll stop trying and attitude gets kind of bad.

So I want to continually do this, right? So I'm going to leave it right there. I want to keep this kind of short and sweet for you because these are two ideas you can put in place, you know, in your classroom, take the principles and apply them. And here's the thing. If you want help with this, reach out to us, right? We'd love to come to your school, your church school, whatever it is, and train your parents and teachers. And if you will email us, email my son, it's Casey, C-A-S-E-Y at celebrate calm.com where you can email Emily at celebrate calm.com and just put the word reptile or reptiles in the subject line. If you don't mind, include the name of your school and the city. And what we'll do is we'll send you back like a one page proposal. It's really quick,

short and sweet. It's something you can forward to your teachers, to school counselors, to your PTA or to your principal, even to your school district. And then, and we'd love to come. We do the teacher training. What's kind of cool is we'll usually do teacher training during the day. Then the evening we'll do training for parents. And my son even conducts school assemblies. So look, on the same day, we can get parents, teachers, and kids all on the same page, using the same language, a lot of the same ideas. So everybody's talking to each other.

It's really, really effective. And by the way, people, teachers love our training because I tell a lot of stories and they're actually funny stories. And so you laugh and you learn. It's not theory. It's things you can, it's practical stuff you can use every day. So if we can help you in any way, reach out to us. Our phone number is 888-506-1871.

Again, you can email Casey at CelebrateCalm.com. You can find us on Facebook, Celebrate Calm. We've got a free newsletter. I've got blogs, all kinds of other podcasts too. So I wanted to thank you for listening. Thank you for investing the time, both as teachers and parents, into helping these kids

because I know you love these kids and they're frustrated. So I appreciate you putting the time and if we can help you in any way, just let us know. Thanks so much. Bye-bye.