Cameron Hanes - Keep Hammering Collective - KHC 135 - Bryan Callen

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

Bryan Callen - stand-up comedian, actor, writer and podcaster. Bryan studied acting at the Beverly Hills Playhouse and then initiated his career as one of the original cast members on the sketch comedy series MADtv. Join Cam and Bryan for a discussion about Bryan’s comedy career, acting, philosophy, and more! Follow along: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cameronrhanes Twitter: https://twitter.com/cameronhanes Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/camhanes/ Website: https://www.cameronhanes.com Follow Bryan: https://www.instagram.com/bryancallen/  Thank you to our sponsors: Black Rifle Coffee: https://www.blackriflecoffee.com/ Use code KEEPHAMMERING for 20% your first order Montana Knife Company: https://www.montanaknifecompany.com/ Use code CAM for 10% off  MTN OPS Supplements: https://mtnops.com/ Use code KEEPHAMMERING for 20% off and Free Shipping Hoyt: http://bit.ly/3Zdamyv use code CAM for 10% off Grizzly Coolers: https://www.grizzlycoolers.com/ use code KEEPHAMMERING for 20% off GoHunt: https://gohunt.com/ use code CAM when you sign up for $50 towards the gear shop + 10% off the GoHunt store Timestamps: 00:00:00  Success Rate - Throwing Rocks at Sparrows 00:05:44  Bryan’s Acting Career 00:08:05  Quick Wit, Reciting Old Movies, & Back Muscles 00:11:26  Reading People, Learning Culture, & Bryan’s Dad 00:16:08  The Negatives of Acting 00:20:45  Cult of the Amuture 00:25:29  Great Ideas of Philosophy & Beauty 00:30:50  Ad Break (SIG Sauer) 00:31:49  Bonds Made Through Comedy 00:34:03  Reliving Trauma Through Comedy 00:36:36  Grizzly Bears 00:42:06  Original Self Expression in Comedy 00:47:41  Bryan’s Testosterone 00:50:22  Coffee & Nicotine 00:51:59  Bryan’s Beautiful Wife 00:54:43  Cam’s Art Collection 00:55:36  Dall Sheep Hunt with Roy Roth 00:58:59  Horse & Gorilla’s Self Defense 01:04:47  Bryan’s Turkey Hunting Experience & Joe 01:05:49  Joe Rogan’s Friendship 01:09:54  Bryan’s New Comedy Special 01:11:28  Bryan’s Podcast & Carrot Top 01:15:08  Andrew Huberman, Faith, & the Science of Life 01:19:04  Human Consciousness & Suffering 01:28:39  Coming to Terms with Saying Goodbye in Life 01:30:23  You’ll Pay for Everything You Did & Didn’t Do 01:36:22  Outro

Every step I take, I move my truth. Every time they tell me stop I use. Every comment hate that makes my feel, gather up my energy and boom. I hear them talking, saying the way that I move it's so reckless. That is a part of my mind I've been blessed with giving my blood so I am relentless. This is a Keep Hammering Collective with Brian Callen. Yes, sir. How are you?

It's good to see you, buddy. Dude. Yeah. Eugene Oregon. I know. You're here. Well, you and I have always had this relationship where we're at something probably for Rogan or the UFC. and then we usually are sitting sort of side by side where we I'll just say something to you and then

you say something to me right but it's always humor little clips yeah yeah I always appreciate the fact that you have a sense of humor and it's kind of we're two of the older guys in the mix and it's always you know and I'll say something like I uh I uh I train and then you'll say I know I've heard and then that's what we say normally I comment on have you been you look bigger yeah I have a I have a nice body. Yeah, that's what I usually can start with. Yeah, I work on aesthetics. I don't work on running, you know, Mount Sherpa or whatever the hell it is.

You run. Cock Sherpa. Cock Sherpa. Right. No, that's what you, a lot of people don't know that Cam has somebody who mines his dong. He wears it in a holster, a running holster. Right. No, I know that usually you do the run up the mountain.

Yeah. And then the run down the mountain. Yeah. Yeah, that's three. I don't have the ankles or calves for that. My shin splints. There's a problem there. So, yeah.

And then we do a what, a lift? A lift right here. A lift. What kind of lifting do we do? Oh, like a thigh blaster, Suzanne Summers. A thigh blaster is my favorite. Yeah, yeah. So I got Suzanne Summers thigh blaster.

I got the shake weight. Yes, yes. So you know the hardcore, just pretty much hardcore stuff. I'm sponsored by shake weight. Are you? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. That free, the free weights. So you get hurt with the free weights.

No, no, no, no. I'm a free weight guy. Oh, you are? Oh, you are? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I dig deep. I didn't know.

I was going to say Nautilus. No, no, dude. I know. I know what you're doing here and you're trying to assert dominance. And I don't appreciate that. Because at the end of the day, it's free weights for me because I'm an American. I'm an American man. You understand?

And I say, before I hit that gym, I look at that gym and I go, we're taking no prisoners today. That's what I say. Is that from when you're in Gen Pop? So I'm glad you asked. It was when I ran Gen Pop. right when I was framed for a crime I didn't do. Right. And then I was exonerated.

And that was when I was, that's when I did some stuff for the government I can't talk about. Yeah. I'm just like, could you just vaguely? Well, I'll tell you what, Cam Haynes. You just keep waking up free every morning and I'll do what I do. How's that sound? Can I just say thank you? You can.

Okay. You can. Thank you for your service and my freedom. You're welcome. You're welcome, buddy. Yeah. So we were doing some research on you last. night. Good. And there's a lot of clips out there. A lot of good ones. A lot of good clips. A lot of

clips. You've been in the game for a minute. I'm an older man, my friend, and I have indeed. I always say, I'm just my father called me up the other day and he goes, you've been in a lot of stuff. I was like, what do you think I've been doing? I've been hustling. Right. But yeah, you know, it was always, I tried so hard at acting for so long. And if you try that hard, I was trying to write this joke and it didn't really ever, I could never really figure out what it was, but somebody asked me, they said, you know, you've been successful as an actor and a comedian or something like that. And I was like, well, not really, first of all. Certainly not lately. But let's just take the fact that I've done TV shows and, you know, starred in sitcoms. But the amount of time, the number of times I tried versus the times I actually succeeded at getting the job. is so pathetic. It's literally like I probably got seven yeses. And in this business, if you get seven yeses,

that can be enough sometimes because it can turn into a, you know, I think I got sex in the city. And then I didn't really stop working after that. But it was always like these little jobs. It'd be like a small part in the hangover. It'd be a small part in entourage. But it was these significant things that I would go,

you know, you'd go from job to job. But then to be like three months of nothing. You know, and then so so for me, it's almost like this was the metaphor I was using. If I were standing on my porch for 25 years and I threw a rock at every sparrow that flew by. If I threw a rock at every sparrow, I would hit in 25 years, I'd probably hit, I bet you 30 sparrows. I'd start learning how to lead them. Right. Maybe in the afternoon, I'd be like they flow a little, they're a little slower.

they fly nest straighter and they're going back to their nest. I don't know what I do. You'd become an expert at sparrow flight and you'd be able to end probably very good at throwing rocks. And I'd probably hit 30 sparrows in 25 years or whatever out of the sky with a stone. Right. And then I'd stuff them. That's incredible success.

Yes. I'd stuff them and I'd put them up on my wall the way you've done with all your elk. Yeah. And it wouldn't be as impressive as this insane situation. but you would say, what are all those sparrows doing on your wall? And I'd say, I knocked them out of the sky with a stone. And you'd go, that dude must be the best stone thrower on the planet. I'd be magic to you.

Right. But you forget that it took me 25 years of throwing stones every single day. And that's not impressive. So that's a metaphor. That's the metaphor for how I think of myself. How much have you made total from acting? probably I don't know somebody asked me that a while ago my wall street buddy seven thousand dollars yeah I've made um I've made I fly privately I have four private jets oh no I've probably made I bet you I've

probably made with mad TV with the Goldbergs with my own show not more than it's going to sound like a lot but it's not you know for somebody who's been working as long as I have two million That's good. I mean, I'd have to really think about it, but if it's more than that, I'd be very surprised. Dude, I know you threw out like the hangover role, just kind of like small role. That was a fucking epic role. I love that scene. Yeah, but again, that scene came out of the fact that I got jobs because I looked in the

mirror and I realized I was a medium white guy. There was nothing physically about me unless I take my pants off, but there was nothing physically about me that you're going to go, we got to get that guy. Let's get the medium white guy, the Irish-Italian guy, that guy. And I wasn't even like as an actor. It wasn't like I was Daniel Day Lewis. It wasn't like, you know, I had

my moments, but I wasn't that talented. I was okay. But the one thing that you have to do when you're every man, when you're a regular guy, is you have to come to the audition with a character. You've got to do something. So the character was a guy from New York who talks like this,

but I know those guys. And he owns it. wedding chapel in, you know, in Vegas. But it was way funnier. And I, at the table read, I looked at the director and I said, if he's from, you know, if he has a nice wedding chapel in Las Vegas, he should be from Armenia or Lebanon or something, you know, a guy who can get you want, you know, he's a, I get you a baccala, I can get you chicks, guns, what do you want? That kind of, that's, there's something funny about that guy. He's a hustler. And then he was like, that's it. And then the rest is his. Well, and it was perfect too because you had the upsell like on the mugs and the whatever hats.

I don't know what else it was. But yeah, I mean, it's been years since I saw it. But yeah, that role was amazing. Somebody came to me and said, you should have a business where you marry people in Vegas. Yeah. I was like, you can kill me. Something's just not worth it. Yeah.

Well, and then so in my research, I saw like, you're so good. I don't know what it was. It was like some black and white thing from years ago. You were just doing an interview or whatever. I mean, you're just always funny. I don't know. Just always funny. I don't know.

He's got the quips, the quick wit, everything else. It's just, you're just fun to be around. Well, it's got to help. Navigate the world, right? Yeah. I think, you know, you and I were talking about how your story about your father and, you know, running track. Your dad was a track coach.

And, of course, what a surprise that you tried, you ran to get his attention. Yeah. I ran, I did comedy because my dad was always busy and gone. So when he would come back, he was too preoccupied. He was just not in a moment. He was preoccupied. So the way I'd get his attention is by re, I would recite funny movies. Right.

So I would redo young Frankenstein for him. But then I started to add to it. Like I would add jokes that weren't in the movie. Okay. Right? So I'd be like, I bet you'd think this is funny. And so he became my first audience in a way. But I was doing it because I wanted his attention.

Was he tough? Yeah, it was a Marine in the 1950s Marine, you know. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, he was tough. But he was gone a lot. He's always gone. So, and oh, by the way, I was moved every two years. So I lived in, you know, seven different countries.

So I was born in the Philippines, India, Pakistan, Greece, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, constantly moved. So no, no, there was no stability. So I was thrown into a whole new group of kids. you know every year and a half two years did humor help you well that's how you break in so when you got guys to like you get them laughing right get them laughing don't be the last guy picked on the team i was okay those at least coordinated and and be somewhat athletic and be funny and if you can't beat the guys get them laughing dude but you're also a trained killer i am a trained killer i am a trained killer but i'm also a lover camera oh yeah yeah i'm like um i feel like

Warm wood in bed, and that's my wife talking. You know what I mean? And I'm sorry to betray, you know, her trust, but she said, you're like warm wood. And I said, I appreciate that. I heard a reference. I'll show you the video later. What? I heard a reference what your back was like snake.

A barrel of snakes? A barrel of snakes. Yeah. Yeah, I do a lot of pull-ups, Kim. You know what I'm saying? Pull-ups. And rose, an upright rows. Yeah.

My back routine, it's torturous. I bet. Yeah. And, of course, then there's the boxing and that complements it. You know what I'm saying? There's a lot of push and pull. What about Jiu-Jitsu? Well, first of all, it's pronounced Jiu-Jitsu.

You know what I'm saying? I know, I'm sorry. You got to get it right. I'm not a black belt. What? But I do roll with black belts. And tap them out. Well, it depends.

Now, you know, lately I've been trying to roll with Tim Kennedy. And I don't appreciate him because there's a lot of giggling that goes on on his side. Oh. And then there's a lot of wheezing on my end. That's weird. Because, well, the problem is I would beat Tim. I just don't have the strength. Oh.

Yeah, I don't have the bone structure. Are you sure? So I have to rely on finesse. That's what I do. What type of pressure did your dad put on you to join the military? None. None? None.

Because he knew you were like this little light in the loafers actor. Okay, don't say that. I don't appreciate that. See, I don't appreciate that characterization. No, no, no. I mean, that's not what I mean. that's not what I meant. Yeah, but you said that.

I don't know if that's a reference to my sexuality or just the fact of I'm sensitive. I'm an actor. I did have a man say to me once. He said, stop trying to be your dad. I said, why? Because your dad's a bear. He's a dog. You're a cat.

Cats are not dogs. There's different kinds of strength and masculinity. It liberated me. So I don't need you reversing a whole bunch of, you know what I'm saying? Right. Anyway, so back to my dad. That was my dad. Yeah.

What I meant was your dad must have been very proud of you. Well, my father was, my father didn't grow up with money, right? My father grew up with a dad who ignored him. And so my father didn't understand me. He very hard for him. And I sympathize. I was a complete jackass. And I didn't know how to navigate the world other than I became a good communicator because

I was moved all the time. So the one, I remember I never forgot. What I got really good at was reading people. And I got very good at reading. I could read people. I knew what they were proud of. right away and I knew what they were ashamed of right away. And I love people. So I would always protect people of what they were ashamed of and I would accentuate what they were proud of. When you

do that with people, they like you right away. I never thought of that, but as I look back on it, that's what I did? And I had a guy say to me, you know, you mirror really, really well? And I said, what the hell is that? He was a real estate agent. He goes, we study mirroring, which is you copy the body language of the person you're talking to and it kind of, they see themselves and you, I never thought I did that. They get comfortable. Yeah, but that's a, that's probably a survival instinct that I developed. But my father said to me once, he said, you know, I made friends with these kids. He saw me. I was 14. And he goes, you're just an unbelievable communicator. You just make friends so quickly. It's the first compliment I got, right? But so he knew

that I was very different than he was. So to his credit, he was like, this kid is just, he just resonates differently. And the military approach is not going to work on him. How, how is, how is he like with people? He loves people. He was great, but he's tough. He's, you know, he's just an Irish Italian Marine from Wisconsin, you know, he's just different guy. Yeah. Just different stakes. He grew up with different stakes. A father who wasn't around and, you know, he's different stakes, man. Well, yeah, you're, you're international going to all these different countries. Your dad's, Wisconsin getting his ass kicked or whatever the hell happened when he was young. Yeah. And so, yeah, you're, you know, out learning culture. I'm learning culture. Yeah. And, and I, and I,

knew the difference between wines and I had an opinion on cheese for Christ's sake. I was my friends called me the aristocrat, you know, because, but he did everything he could to give me a life. It wasn't that we were crazy rich or anything by today's standards, but, but I had enough money, you know, he was, he was enough money. I never went hungry or anything. And he was there, even though he was always gone. He was married to my mom. There was a stability I grew up with that he didn't grow up with. And, and so part of it also was that, you know, I remember I said, I want to be an actor. And he didn't. know what to do with himself man yeah it was it was like hearing you know it was like saying dad

i'm gay and you're never going to have kids again right you know i mean never going to have grandkids it was it was like to him he was like what the fuck you talk an actor what are you talking about where did come from why why did i were taking theater in school no no i just was so moved by movies movies were like i took them so seriously and you wanted to impact people the way the actors on the great impacted you? Yes. Okay. Yes.

And I somehow felt I could do it. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Maybe it was because I was also really good at accents and I could, you know, I had an ear for languages and accents. And I don't know. I just felt like I would watch it and I'd be like, I think I can do that. You know, what a peculiar skill, by the way. Yeah.

What a strange skill. I know. I want to make believe. I want to be someone else. Yeah, it's, uh, there, but there's, there's actors like right now, I've been watching Mobland. Tom Hardy. I love Tom Hardy. Yeah.

But I think he's like the same character. I worked at him. I worked at Tom. Same character almost every role. But just a, but he, I don't know, there's some people who are on screen are just so good. Oh, he's like Brando. Yeah, and it's just, he's smolders. You know, Christian Bale has had roles like that.

Same thing. Um, yeah. I mean, so have you, tell me about your. favorite role? Like where you had the chance to do that? Well, those guys love acting. Yeah. I didn't like acting. Oh. I hated it. Really? I've never been on set where I didn't want it to be over and that's something I've always had trouble admitting. You know, um, why is that? I love theater. I love theater. You can't make a living that way. Um, it's the piecemeal approach to, to film, right? So everything you do, if you're shooting a big film, you're shooting a page a day. Right. And you enjoy that. Go ahead and enjoy that tedious, f***ing tedium where you, you are sitting there and

you've got to have your head here and then you do it here and you're doing the same thing over and over again and you reach for the mug. Can you reach higher? Because we can't, the cameras here. If you can get the light. Hold on. We got to get the light. The light's not hitting his face.

Just give us, can you give us take five guys? Oh man, hurry up and wait. Yeah. 15 minutes of your day is acting. The rest is waiting. Right. I don't want to live my life that way. I can't do it.

It's, you know, whether it's a commercial, whether it's a TV show. I fell in love of the people I would always work with. But the process of acting, kiss my ass. Well, so I got a movie role. You did. Yeah, I was Sheriff Browning. It's in this movie hasn't come out yet. But I just did it because I had never acted, right?

And I'm like, I don't know, I like doing hard thing. To your point, oh my God. Dude, longest days ever and changing the light. And it's just like, what was that one word I had kept? Dangerous. Oh, yeah. I had to say dangerous, like 30 different times in 30 different ways. And it's three in the morning.

And you have to, because we were doing it in a police station. Yeah. And you had to deliver it with the same every single time. That's exhausting. When I did entourage, I had to be crying. And they didn't really keep a lot of it. But all day long, I had to be weeping because they fired me. And I'm not going to be.

And it's not going to work unless you're really crying. Right. So you enjoy doing that for, I did that for seven hours. Brutal. And at one point, Jeremy Piven, like, saw that I was losing it. And he reached over and he goes, hold on, guys. And he just slapped the shit out of me. He goes, go.

You know, you have to do anything to get it going. That's a masochistic problem. Like what Christian Bale or Daniel Day Lewis do, do where they're in character and they won't answer you unless you talk to them like Lincoln. Right. And they won't talk to you about anything that happened before 1865. I mean, hey, bro. Hey, bro.

How about those likers? I'm not doing that shit. I don't care. I was, I did the Joker. I ended up on the cutting room floor, but I was in that room with Joaquin Phoenix for five days. Really? And I'm watching that guy and watching the trance he put him himself in,

and he never got out of it. Oh, and by the way, he was eating one apple a day and smoking cigarettes. He got down to 125 pounds. You won an Oscar? He did. Ain't for me, man. I can't do that for three months. Yeah, I mean, I watch these movies,

even like Mobbland in the show, now I'm watching everything going, God, what a pain in the ass I would be to shoot that scene. Because I, you know, they do. did it a hundred times. Once you do a movie, you'll never watch it the same again. Any movie I see with water, I'm like, oh, that's got to be miserable. Like the reverent. They're getting just soaked over and over. In Patagonia, my buddy was Leo DiCaprio's stunt double in the reverent and he had to be wet in that water. Ah, ah, good. All day, by the way, you'll be in that water all day. You go ahead and

enjoy that. That's that glacial spring water. Real, a real eye opener. We, uh, we had this Native American actor in that movie that I was in. I don't think they should be in movies. Keep going. Sorry. I'm kidding. I know. But he was in the Revenant and he said that first initial battle scene,

whatever it was, like with all the Indians die in and everything, that they practiced that for months before they shot it. Of course. Months. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Insane. And then you got to worry about how you do it and everything else because it's a lot of action.

Yeah. And then there's editing. There's so much work. Makeup has to be the, The makeup, everything's got to be just right too. Yeah. Like your hair was over here that time. Your hair's got to be here.

Otherwise it's not going to match. Yeah. And now it's like, okay, so that was the one shot you'd have to be in front of, like, on the big screen in front of millions of people. Now you can do that online. You know what I mean? You can do that. If you want to get in front of people and like deliver a message or impact people,

you don't need a movie. I know. So it's like kind of a weird time. It's killed movies. It's killed movies. It's killed, but there's people. It's killed movies.

Crazy. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. And you know what thing? Here's what I hate right now. This trend that's going on. So you know the Hock to a girl or whatever the f***.

Now it's like all these guys out there interviewing people out partying and trying to get girls to talk about some sexual thing. Yeah. I'm just like, oh my God. Yeah. Because they, it worked once. I know. So now it's like it's, we got to get another. viral one and you just all these just like it just is miserable to watch yeah it's the cult of the

amateur yeah and that's not my saying that's there's a i think a book written about that and and it's just everybody who has a camera has a has a you know and then what you get is not quality but vulgarity which is what spectacle is and you you have to understand the difference you know spectacle and a almost a fetish for vulgarity is what has become synonymous with American culture and the American lost

which is what a lot of these kids are they're the lost generation they've it's not even their fault their algorithm is lying to them it's giving them a reality that you know that isn't a reality it's just confirming their bias or controlling

or pushing them in one particular direction as a group so that they're all together saying the same thing. And it's going on to the degree where, you know, I think, you know, it's a little bit like that boiling frog metaphor, you know, when you throw a frog and boiling water jumps out, but if you heat the water slowly, it just dies. And I think when you live in a culture that doesn't make you feel good about yourself, and that makes you feel as though the only way to get ahead is to, create some discomfort or to amplify your fake monologue or to say something so outrageous like Kanye

who's totally ignorant of history and he probably he's not to be excused because he knows better but but guess what doesn't matter I'm trending bro I'm trending this and that's that's that sort of that sort of downward spiral where everybody's competing toward hell and not toward something higher than themselves. I think, you know, as I get older, I've read all the philosophy, but as I get older, I have way more respect for faith. And in particular, Judeo-Christian ethic, the notion that there's, there is something about aspiring to something that you cannot measure. There's something about aspiring to perfection. And by the way, not for you, but for something bigger than you.

Okay? Like the reason we had great architecture, I would argue back in the day, if you look at architecture today, it's all about the architect. You know, the great, you know, the great structures that we go to Florence, et cetera, to go look at.

Well, they were built, they were being built for in service of something larger than themselves. I mean, look at the magazines. that and everything that you see online, it's all apatetic. Why is it that everything I look at is all about, you know, this is, this will help you live longer. This will help you get stronger. This helps you look better.

Hey, man, I don't want that shit anymore. I start to feel like I'm under a lamp, like a piece of steak in Vegas at a big buffet. Right. Just being grilled down. It's not inspiring. I'm just a snake eating my own tail. I want to know about shit that, that, I want to know about shit that has nothing to do with me. I want to know about things that are a mystery to me still, the artistic scene somewhere or whatever it is.

That's important to reach beyond yourself. It's a great way to get out of your depression, in my opinion. Yeah, and I don't wonder to... You haven't been writing any of this shit down. No, we're getting it. Oh, are you? Okay, because this is heavy. Your audience is probably scribbling really hard now. Yeah, they are. I mean, this is obviously live. Oh, it is fantastic. Yeah. Thank God. Yeah, but to your point about... I'm not wearing pants. What? about architecture and and now it's like when are the beautiful buildings being built anymore you know

it's like now it's like it's about efficiency and that's right i was about say efficiency yeah and it's just like what yeah how about flow beauty how about you know impacting somebody's soul when they see it you know it's like something where you're just like looking and going you can't say anything when does that should happen on anything now that's being built one of the great ideas philosophy is the notion that truth and beauty are synonymous. It's a great contribution to philosophy, the notion that, you know, beauty is something to strive for. And beauty is exactly that thing that causes you to realize that, I think when you see great beauty, I think when you see, when you hear a beautiful song, or St. Peter's Cathedral, you know, or the Sistine Chapel,

or you watch a movie that's just amazing. You forget for a second that you're human. You know, this is what Schopenhauer and Nietzsche were talking about, this idea of high relief. You get into a trance where you forget for a second that you have to go to the bathroom, that you have to have sex, that you have to eat. All that stuff becomes suspended.

And for a moment there, to your point, you can't even speak. You might, all you'll be able to do is manage maybe to cry or laugh or just be awed. you'll just be awed, the kind of awe that brings your head up and opens your mouth, because you don't know what else to do. And those moments are what I think get you to believe in something like God. And something that you do that you can't measure and you just say, human beings are so magnificent. Like how are human beings, they're capable of terrible cruelty and destruction.

But they're also capable of things like Shakespeare and Mozart and Beethoven and the things that we stay alive for. You know, and I think that part of going back to what you were saying, when it becomes about clicks and likes and, you know, getting attention and more eyeballs on you, you get the Kardashians. Right. You get women who have so much plastic surgery with all due respect that they all look the same. Yeah, isn't it that? So you talked about, you know, beauty can like kind of suspend time, you know, whether it was acting and you see whatever,

whatever something to create beauty. Do you think women are trying to do that themselves? You know, so you know when you've seen like, there's been women that you've seen, you're just like they seem flawless. Yeah. And that is what you're talking about like or art or whatever. But you can't replicate that,

but we're trying to replicate it. And you see the women who maybe are beautiful in their own way, but now to your point earlier, you said they all look kind of the same. Same kind of lips. Same kind of, there's this look. Well, there's a standard of beauty.

Every society has always had a standard of beauty. And now, as long as you have technology, human beings, men and women are going to try to look better. Right. You know, and there's a lot of pressure on women. Yeah. And I would even say, and people call it blame society,

I think there's an instinct to preen. I think there's a mating instinct there. There's a genetic, there's a genetic biological evolutionary sort of compulsion, a primal urge to showcase a woman, especially when she's in her mating years and men are in their mating years. You know, men, you know, that spring scene song, the girls comb their hair in rearview, mirrors and the boys try to look so hard. Yeah.

You know, it's, it's that old... It's never going to change. It's never going to change. It's that old, you know, fantastic thing where guys get bigger and they overeat and they try to their shoulders and their chest big and and and women are putting all this filler in their lips and and makeup on and and raising their heels so that their ass is you know that's all that stuff yeah that that that will probably only get more accentuated as we get more technologically advanced and I think that the way out of um looking exactly the same we're probably in the

dark age is still of that so people are all going to like i think people will be able to pick and choose but i think that there is a liability to perfection there is a liability to physical perfection because entropy is entropy you're not going to hold on to that forever what's entropy entropy is the idea of disorder right as as you i'm really educated you are yeah i'm picking up like every fourth word i know i know you are so it's like when you see me like looking blank and looking around why do you not call me sensei I don't understand. That is odd. Yeah.

I think I'm confused myself with all these words. Yeah. I'm going to teach you some kung fu. Sorry, Sense. Yeah, that's better. I like when you look down to.

Yeah. Yes. That's sorry. There you go. There you go. So tell me, like, when we talk about that this, the chase for the beauty, like I think of Brian Johnson, who said he's going to live forever, right? Good luck, right?

I look at him. He looks like a fucking vampire. Yeah. I mean, is this like what? am I supposed to want to look like this? Yeah. You look terrible. Yeah. You look awful. Yeah. What are you doing? But I would say that's, that's, that's a man void of any spiritual life.

Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, living forever. Sure. I guess it sold him a Netflix show. Yeah. I mean, so he probably made some money. But man, he's got enough money. Enjoy, enjoy that attention. Yeah. I, I, I, I, that's not how I want to look. Point is. But tell me like, you know, we're talking about art, tell me about comedy, because when you're talking about how for a moment there, time stands still and you forget everything, is that, does comedy do that for people? Because I think so, man. Yeah, when you're making people laugh, they're not thinking about how shitty their life is. Well, that's what's such a privilege. Like, you know, I always say, you come to my show and I promise

you'll laugh harder than any movie you've ever been to. And that's a guarantee. That's the one thing I can say. The only thing I'm good at in the world is making a room full of strangers laugh. And what I think is amazing about comedy is that if you think about the bonds you make with your friends, right, if you think about why you like people, it's true that you share a similar set of values. You look for kindness. You look for ethics and all that. But it's the times you laughed, man. It's the times you were on a hunting trip. You know, Rogan and I, every time we do meat eater, it was the amount of... of laughter that would go on because we're both cold and miserable.

And he was my best audience because I could just make that laugh. Yeah. And it was just always and so much of what we did wasn't even caught on camera because it was just like we were both miserable. It's just cold and wet. But that's when the humor comes out. So you remember though the bonds are something in that area where you're just laughing with each other.

Right. Because sometimes laughter is sort of the only response to the overwhelming absurdity of life and the lack of control in life. You know, there's a lot of stories of people who were held hostage and they were telling jokes. Yeah. Really? Like, it's how you keep yourself going? You know, and I love that. I mean, if you talk to these special forces guys, these tier one operators, they're constantly joking around.

Right. Just being silly. It's all gay jokes, by the way, but still, you know, but it's what it is. Yeah. So I think comedy to be sort of a professional that craft is, I don't know, it's fun. I've always liked being in this small fraternity. Mm-hmm. So that love of making people laugh has never waned.

I mean, you did it when you were a kid. No, isn't it funny? It's never waned because it's a constant, so I just shot my special. You did it as a kid to fit in because you're changing whatever and that was a way to be accepted. So is it still pretty much the same thing? You're fitting in these cities or making people laugh or what is the objective? It's probably reliving the trauma of having to walk into a classroom and make friends immediately. You could say that I probably am doing the same thing, right?

I'm kind of getting in front of a bunch of people and reliving the trauma of my childhood under my terms if you want to get psychological. but I don't go to therapy, so I don't give a shit about that. Yeah. Like, for me, it's just such a privilege and such a surprise that I'm able to do it. Like, I can't, like, again, I just shot my special at the mothership. Okay. False gods coming to YouTube soon or somewhere. How was it?

It was so fun. I'm editing it now, though. It's better now. And now I'm trying to edit it. It's a nightmare. I hate watching myself. But I think it's cool. How many shows did you record?

Just two. Two. Yeah. And I'd like to redo it. I'd like to do it. But I'm happy with it. It's better now, but it's okay. But like I have to, now I'm starting all over again.

I've got to start a whole new hour. Is this the new hour or is this the special hour? This is going to be a mix, a hybrids. Okay. Yeah, it'll be a whole, I got a bunch of new stuff. It's such a process getting that, getting it out there, tweaking it, getting it dialed in perfect, delivering it for the show on film. Yeah, man, what a.

And hitting every note and then going back and going, damn it, I didn't get that. forgot that tag. I know. I remember when Theo was here, he had one and he forgot one line of the joke. And it killed him. Yeah. And he was like, he was pretty depressed. Yeah. I mean, he thought he did terrible. Theo always thinks he does terrible. No, you've said, you fucking killed it. I've never, I've never been with Theo where he doesn't go off station. He goes, ah, I wasn't that good. He was like, Theo, you crushed. No, I think he gets open for me and during my special, the same thing. Oh, did he? I was like, Theo, what are you talking about? I couldn't even watch you. You were taking me out of my game. You're making me laugh so hard. Yeah, he's pretty hard on himself, isn't he?

Yeah, yeah. But no, he, everybody here had a great time. He was focused on that part that he missed or he wasn't as tight as normal, which, of course, nobody and Eugene knew. I know. Because we hadn't seen any of the other shows. But you feel it as a comic, you know. And it's like, I felt bad for him.

But it's such a, what a hard job, dude. Yeah. I don't know. I've seen you. I remember the, I remember, I think about you because I remember when you shot a grizzly bear, a giant grizzly bear with a bow and arrow. And if you had missed, it would have been catastrophic. Maybe.

I mean, like this is, so here's a skull. Yeah, that's a hard job. That's, yeah, that's a problem. And that's why when I, so when a bear comes at me, it's this and it's that, and I hold the mouth close. Until what they get exhausted or they pass out. So, notice how I'm covering his nose. Oh, pass out.

Yeah. So it's like a choke hole. Yeah, but then I look right into his eye and he sees the intensity of my eyes and he knows what time it is. And does he, you let him go and he runs away? There's a new sheriff in the forest. Of course I do. I don't kill him.

Right. I just go, shh. Oh, what about that? I did they did that. And then there he goes. And there he goes. Wow. Yeah.

Don't try that at home. Do not try that. Don't try that, dude. I mean, do you feel a little bit like Jesus in that moment? So I would never. call myself Jesus. I will say that the media calls me comedy, Jesus, because I give so much.

But you don't. I would never do that. Right. I would never do that. I'm also built a little differently than Jesus, you know? I mean, my shoulders are pretty broad, and they tend to taper over my waist. You know what I mean?

They float over my waist. Yeah. Have you seen me train? No. No. You haven't. No. Because I do it underground.

That was a trick question. Yeah. When it comes to karate and Kung Fu. Right. Why are you laughing? Why is your guy laughing over there? He's not laughing. Okay, because I feel like he's not taking me seriously.

He's basically retarded. I've dropped Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, a lot of stuff. He's probably sticking his fingers in his ass over there. He doesn't even know what he's doing. He's sitting on one of his hands. He's got three digits. He's knuck deep in his shitter right now. That's what he's laughing at.

Why is he smelling his hands? This is fucked up. He's smelling his fingers. Dude, that's not appropriate. He's a closet freak. That's James Gideon Williams for you right there in the flesh. Hepatitis digits over there. So when you leave, don't,

take his hand. God, I won't. I won't. It's not my fetish. Jesus, he's tall and handsome, though. I think he said at one time, did you say you looked like Clark Gable? The fuck is Clark Gable?

No, he said he looked like Clark Gable. Clark Kent, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think you do. No offense. Yeah. You're the Oregonian version. You're the Eugene version of Clark Kent.

Yeah. Just a giant white guy. I think he looks like Kathy, Kathy Griffin. He does have the same coloring. Yeah, do you know who that is? She held up Trump's head, remember that?

That didn't go over too well. Yeah, never really recovered from that. That was not good. Poor PR. Yeah. That didn't work out. Yeah. Are you done with this?

That's a giant skull. How much that way? I don't know, because we had to cut it up to get it out, but it was nine foot six inches from nose to tail. My God. Yeah. So nine foot six inches.

Yeah. The paws were stupid. Is that the picture I've seen? Yeah. Yeah. Or I'm holding it up. My God. Yeah.

They're giant animals. But yeah, it's intense. So on that, the hunt you're talking about, that was that bear. That's a heavy skull, dude. Yeah. And so this, this is so thick right here. Like even a bullet could ricochet off that. Is that right?

That has happened before because of that angle and it's so thick. My God. Yeah. So it's, they're, they're legit animals. They're legit animals. But that's, to me, you know, the things you love the most, they make you feel most alive. When I'm closing in on an animal like that with my bow,

that's what does it for me. Yeah. That moment, because. What is it, though? Is it the idea of, is it the accuracy you're trying to accomplish, or is it the state of flow you get into? It's the stakes. Yeah.

The stakes don't get any higher. Right. I'm with a bow trying to kill. A buffalo, a water buffalo or a grizzly bear. That's so crazy. Yeah. And it's just like, to me, the stakes of whether that goes good or bad, not knowing what's going to happen, that, just that unknown.

What kind of what pound test do you use in a bow when you're killing an animal like that? That bow is a 90-pound bow, but, you know, like that. an 80, that shot was a frontal, went in right here a little bit, about an inch to the right of where I wanted to hit, but an 80-pound bow would have probably done that too, but I, I shoot a pretty heavy bow just because I hunt big animals. Well, 90 pounds is very difficult to pull back. Very difficult, yeah. You got to work on that.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you could do it easy. Naturally. With both, both like. What with my back and all? Yeah, the snakes. Yeah. Remember that?

I bench pressed my body weight. What? Yeah, thanks, guys. How many times? Just once. I'm a little tired. I'm not a big bencher. Thanks for laughing again.

You know. That guy is still on his fingers. He had shit on his finger. No, God. He's laughing at it. At least keep your mud whistle clean, for God's sake, if it's your fetish. Anyway.

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, so it's a, yeah, you could do it easy for sure. But I think the same feeling would be like when you come out on stage, is that when you feel most alive? Or when do you feel muscle-like?

So what happens after a while for me probably is I don't get nervous. You know, the nerves go away. It's just what I do. But what I like is being in the business of original self-expression. I like surprising myself. I love the idea that I come up with an idea. So for me, like what I'm doing is I come up with these different ideas. I'm writing stuff.

I don't know what it is. I have this new thing. I have a Chinese friend. I don't even know why I'm talking about it, but I have a Chinese friend. And what does that mean in relation to my white friends and what about Chinese people? And then there's this impulse to be unhealthy

in this world that's very healthy. I don't know where I'm going with it. But I'll just keep following that thread. And what's fun is after two years, maybe three years, I'll have an hour. And then you step back and look at it and you go, wait, there's a theme here. There's an argument for how one should behave in the world in here.

or there's a philosophy in here or there's a point of view in here and how did that make it through how did my subconscious create this how did that yes so so it's almost like these the one hour already exists and i'm just trying to keep showing up yeah it's there yes so you you know harlowe williams was talking about this we just did a podcast on my groundbreaking podcast off limits and he uh sorry see that pause that's good for cutting yeah it doesn't matter off limits And so, and he was talking about the comedy spirit, right? And the one thing we agreed on is that I know, I know, no matter what, if I sit for long enough, something's going to come. And that's a great feeling to know that something is going to come and it's going to surprise me.

And I'm going to laugh at it. And if I laugh at, the audience is going to laugh at it. And so that process, that process of discovery of showing up until it reveals itself to me never gets old. That's what I get off on, you know, and also thinking about you running naked, but other than that. Yeah, those two things. I shouldn't say that out loud. Those two things. Yeah. It annoys me that you're, it annoys me for a second. We'll get back to what we were talking about, that you cut your elk's basically in half. Like, just cut them at the neck, bro. Why do you have to have his haunches there? Yeah, and like, so wasted half the meat. You wasted half the meat,

which is an outrage. Yeah, that is sad. But if anything happens in the world, and it gets a crisis, I can come in here and get this elk meat. You know? Yeah, it's going to be a little tough, but I appreciate that. You're very smart, buddy. How many else have you killed? I don't know. You have a lot of elk meat in the freezer?

I do. Yeah. You live on elk? Did you have a question? Oh, I thought you're raising your hand. That's Brian's eye candy over there. A photographer. Yeah, what was I going to say?

Who's married. And you're married. Yeah. but you still be eye candy although she is she's very talented and she's very very attractive i at my age i don't i don't uh i don't make sure i make sure i don't flirt even a little bit because i feel a little bit creepy to be this age i don't hold of you 30 yeah yeah my wife is 35 so if you're 30 i'm there's there's i'm very careful to be very uh you know i don't know almost like a librarian hello you know yeah i don't even i didn't even i don't see sex no i don't

I know whether that's a man or a woman. I know, and that's what I love is. I just knew she was eye, or it was I can be. She's non-binary. That's great. But Kell is a very good photographer. Yeah, great. Yeah. That's great.

You know what's funny? I have a child older than her. Yeah. That's crazy. So that's either she's crazy young. Yeah. No, 30's not young. I mean, it's young.

No, I think that's crazy young. Well, to us it is. Because otherwise, that would make me old. Well, you're, are you 57 or 58? 57. So I'm 58. So you're, I'm old. But my wife is 35.

Does that piece still work? It does, it does still work because my testosterone, because I go heavy in the gym and I go deep. You know what I'm saying? Like as to grass? Yeah, Astogastogra. So my pelvic region is. Don't mention ass around James. He'll put his fingers up.

I can smell his fingers from here, little sewer pickles. It's my fist, though. It's your fist. Now, God. Jesus, that's so hot. I mean, disgusting. He's aggressive. Yeah, but back to, back to, what were we talking about?

Asthma. Yeah, astogress. Yeah, my, my pee-p does still work. I've never done testosterone, but my test is high. You know what? I knew you hadn't done testosterone. I mean, I just, I mean, I appreciate you told me that, but you didn't have to. No, I'm, yeah, I know.

I know, and that's another dig at me. No, no, no, no. That was just observation. I've also not had my face tightened, so you're probably wondering why my skin seems to, seems to be as tight as a saddle level. I don't even know what Brendan calls you. He calls me rink and you do know.

He calls me rinks and you do know. Why would you call you rinks? And see, you're being shitty again. And I don't appreciate, I'm a guest on your podcast. I drove all the way out here. And I'm surrounded by these animals and I'm a vegan. And frankly, it's traumatizing.

Are you getting emotional? Yeah. I felt like your voice is cracking. I think emotional. That's good acting right there. Well, that was good. Fine. I guess you don't even care about me.

But that role is super easy for you to play with your low tea. Yeah, but I said I had high tea, remember? So you got it. Oh, yeah. But I can play low tea. What is your tea? My tea. You want to know the truth?

Yeah. So this is from Tony Robbins, a thing in Naples. And from Rapid Health with Dan Garner and Andy Galpin. And Craig Ventures placed in San Diego. Is this a plug? No, I just had these long, fucking long drawn-out checkups, and they were like,

you are immortal, but it doesn't matter. But my T was 9-73. Holy shit. Then it was 982, I think, and then it was 1,100. And I sent that to Rogan. And he goes, bullshit.

And I go, well, then take it up with the fucking lab, bro. Yeah. All right. Now, that's one reading. I don't know what my free test. I've had body billows tell me I'm full of shit and you got to come. We got to do.

All right. Fine. I just know I have a lot of energy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Especially. I'm buzzing down there. I'm buzzing.

Down where? Like in South California? Downstairs. In my downstairs area. In the basement? In my naughty place. Oh. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. My three piece set. The baby bird. We're talking about the, what do we call that? Vaden-laden yogurt slinger? You ever heard that?

Disgusting. Sir, I'm an artist. I'm an artist and I'm doing your podcast. Can we keep it above the table? That was unbelievable, dude. That was... Well, you have a reputation. You're a hunter,

you're an endurance athlete, people look up to you. I was out of line. Yogurt Slinger? Vane laden. A vein laden yogurt slinger. Right. And that is just appalling.

And I feel awful. Yeah, you should. I feel I'm embarrassed. I know. Yes, it looks like yogurt, but it's not. I call it baby batter, but keep going. I should, we should end and I should never do a podcast again after that. That should be the last thing that I ever say. I should run up the mountain and just disappear. Off into the whatever. So my kids can be like, my dad, the last thing he said. Just the most uninspiring death. Yeah, that would be good. Well, we got it on about six different cameras. So what if your family, if they need different angles? This will live forever. Yeah. Thanks for the warm cup of coffee.

Yeah. You're a real host. Is it warm still? You've been nursing that shit. Mine was hot. You're like getting so into your art. Do you drink a lot of coffee? All day, every day.

You do right? All day. What about nicotine? I tried to do some nicotine. So the other day I did a race and then I had to get an IV. And then they said, hey, do you want to do some NAD plus? And I'm like, yeah, fuck it, do it. Do it?

And they're like, do you want it full bore? And I'm like, I said, well, why wouldn't you? And they said, well, it could feel like somebody's sitting in your chest type whatever. Have you ever done NAD plus? No, I don't buy it. Whatever the fuck. But at the same time, I said, yeah, send it. James gave me a Zen.

Oh, boy. I thought, plus I was already sick. No, you're going to throw up. Oh, dude. I immediately melted into the couch. And there's just like throwing the Zen out, pulling the IVs out. Yeah. I smoke cigars.

That's my nicotine once in a while. I like smoking a cigar. You don't drink, do you? Because I do drink? No. I've decided I'm going to be unhealthy. I decided I'm going to start drinking scotch, smoking cigars. I don't take a multivitamin.

How about that? I don't even take my creatine anymore. You know what? That means you're going to get a lot of tail. If you're just scotch cigars. Yeah. Yeah. That's confidence.

Yeah, but I'm married and I'm going to lose in my house. Right. So I don't know if it's worth it. Yeah. I mean, it depends. Yeah, yeah, no, no. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I don't know if it depends.

I've got, I don't, I can't afford another alimony. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. So I've got to be. So they make you pay multiple alimonyes? Oh, in California? It's not just one, like one will, it's not.

I've been married once, so that's alimony. Happy to pay it. Get along great with my ex. You are happy to pay it? Well, I mean, it's the mother of my children, so you know, so you got to pay it. And then I got married again, decided to get married in my 50s, which is smart, and then have two more kids, you know what I mean, so that I can really keep the pressure on and I can keep hustling.

Do I get paid for this podcast? You're not done, dude. Okay. You know, guys can have kids. Yeah. I mean, you got a whole other family to start down the road. Yeah, I want to be like Elon Musk. So you're saying maybe just, you know, maybe blow that marriage up as well.

Yeah. And then just stack the bills on and then get married to someone else. I would. Yeah. I feel like you're in my corner on this. I don't have the energy. No, it's exhausting. I mean, I don't have your energy.

One relationship is exhausting. My wife was like, I was out, you know, and she was in the hotel room. And she's like, I know that girl likes you. I was doing this thing. And I was like, and, and. what and what do you think i had the energy to have an affair do you think i would take that chance in a million years exhaust it ain't happening yeah here's my phone take a look you got my you got she's got my code and everything take a look i think affairs are for young people yeah i don't think you get older

and you know no no no not a shot i can appreciate beautiful women yeah i mean i look at them and And it's fantastic, but it's, no. Well, it's like looking at art. Yeah. I mean, so. Yeah. When you're younger, you're like that, you know, when you're, yeah. You'd want to jerk off on it.

See, Karen, I'm going to ask you. Karen. No, I'm like a beautiful painting. No, I've never looked at like the Mona Lisa or a beautiful painting. No, I've never wanted to do that. Really? No, I don't want to shoot heavy white ropes all over it, all right? Okay.

Okay. Yeah, and I feel like you're treating me like I'm the pariah here, and I'm the, and this is a rare thing. God. What did I walk into? The point was, is like, you could appreciate beauty. I can have. At different points of your life for different reasons.

Yes. Until you brought in yogurt slinging. Well, no, I just thought that that's what you meant. No, I didn't mean that. Okay. My bad. I apologize to everybody. I misread the room.

This podcast has really gone down the rails. at your producer sitting on his own fingers. And you're talking about, you're desecrating art. No, it's talking about how beautiful art is and appreciating it. I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you own any art?

Do you ever, are you an art guy? Not really. I mean, this stuff, dead animals. Dead animals everywhere. I mean, after a while, it's like, it's a little overkill on all the elk. Yeah. You know what I mean? You got a lot of elk after a while.

It's like, hey, bro, we got a room full of, like, we get it. I get it. Yeah. You know, that's what they say too. Yeah. They say, it's like, aren't we good on this? Right. On us?

Are you good? And you're like, nope. Nope. I'm going to wipe out the specie. Might be like, I can take the last of the species. Yeah. You're like a guy who collects muscle cars.

Yeah. And you can't get enough cars. You can't get enough elk head. Right. Yeah. I don't know what they did to you, dude. You killed some moose. I hear moose just sit there.

Um, sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. That's it right there. To the right. A little bit further. Those are your stags up there? Well, those are bucks, yeah.

Yeah. What's the hardest animal to hunt? Doll sheep. Doll sheep are pretty hard. Yeah. Where they live, yeah. I mean, that's that one that Roy's with right there. Yeah.

That was like he's like 17 miles back. Wow. Killed that with a recurved bow. Wow. Awesome ram. How far away was the shot? Because it's really hard to sneak up on them. They can see.

Probably like, I think it was about 25 yards. How do you get, how do you get? get up on it. On that one he built so these Rams were coming through on the same trail all the time. So he built like a little blind out of rocks. Oh boy. And then he got stripped down to just like Long Johns like white because you can kind of decoy in those sheep. They can see white and they're like, what is that? So they're not alarmed. So he had basically his underwar on plus this rock wall and then the Rams came by and he shot it. Was he freezing? I don't think it was. I don't think it was that cold how uh how big is that that ram that's a good one i mean i don't think it's normally like a

giant would be a 40 inch around the circumference of the horns wow um i don't know if that's quite that but that's a big one i hear it's good meat yeah really good good eating yeah it's just he would he would uh dress that down and eat that whole then how much how much meat is that to pack out um i mean it's probably like 250 on the hoof so probably about probably like i don't know hundred and 20 pounds of meat. That's a hell of a lot of meat. And then you got to take the hide. So you need more than one person?

Yeah. He wouldn't have, he had llamas on that one. So he would pack the hide head and meat down to his camp, get the llamas there, then pack it out. Wow. Lamas. Yeah, we'd use, llamas are pretty cheap

as opposed to horses. And you could buy a llama for $100. They can carry about 60 to 80 pounds, whereas a horse can carry a lot more, but it'll also kick you in the head and kill you. And llamas won't? No. Really?

They're only about 300 pounds. So you can actually push a llama around. Really? Where a horse, you know, a horse. I mean, even a horse that stands on your foot, breaks your foot. Big problems. So it's more dangerous to hunt with the horse. Yeah, horses are great because they're so strong,

and you can put 150 pounds on them. But they need to be taken care of every day because they need water. And they're just, if you hobble them back there, have you ever seen a horse hobbled before. They can still get around a little bit. They can hop a little bit. Or if you have a long lead rope on them, they could get that wrapped around something

and kind of fuck up. It just causes, there's issues. Big powerful animals. Yeah. So llamas are, they don't need water every day? Really? No. They're like camels.

Kind of, yeah. Wow. Yeah. So you don't, we've had them in the wilderness where we'd just leave for like a week and be off hunting and come back. They're still fine.

But what about mountain lions and stuff? Yeah. What about Buma? Actually, they, so ranchers who have sheep put llamas out there because they're a deterrent for mountain lions. Because they. I don't know why. I think they look so weird. I think a lion is like, what the fuck is this thing?

Yeah. With a neck and all that. But whatever the case, or they're aggressive or they just, they aren't, they're different. Well, they know, they will, they know when mountain lions. So if you watch horses, you get a bunch of horses and a grizzly comes to take a horse, those horses will run right at that grizzly. You ever seen that? Oh, they'll run as a group.

They'll be like, oh, really? How about this, dude? I'm 1,200 pounds. Let's go. And they'll run right at it. They will attack a horse. That's the original one gorilla 100 men. That is the original one gorilla 100 men.

By the way, the dumbest thing in the world. Dumbest thing in the world. A hundred men kill a gorilla with no problem. Really? It's the stupidest thing in the world. A gorilla is 500 pounds. Great. Give me the biggest, baddest gorilla in the world.

Whatever you want to do. Six feet, 100 pounds. I can kill her. A hundred men? Okay. That's 20,000 pounds of man against 500 pounds. Shut up. We'll just, the first three guys are going to get bunched up.

The gorilla's going to have an adrenaline dump. He's good for about a minute. He's going to freak out. He's going to bite and pull and everything else. And then then 97 dudes are going to pile on that gorilla and kill him. We don't have to do anything. We can just lie on him. Just pile on him.

until he can't breathe and he dies. That's what happens. But what men? Because I've seen a lot of men who can't get up a flight of stairs. Well, I'm going to say the average man in this country is 200 pounds, almost. And they're not in shape. But if their life depends on it, they're going to organize. But have you ever seen an animal when his life depends on staying alive?

Yes. They got some fight. That's right. And how long do you think a gorilla that doesn't do any car, Cardio is not known for its cardio that lives on leaves and branches. How long is a gorilla going to sustain that level of output? The answer is not long at all, all right? And human beings have a lot of endurance. You know something about endurance, don't you can? So the bottom line is that gorilla doesn't stand a chance, not a chance. Right. And if you've got 10 Tim Kennedys against one gorilla,

it's an interesting idea, it's an interesting fight. I still got 10 men. Really? Yeah, because Even 10. Because the gorilla is going to, well, that's tough. I don't know, because the gorilla can bite? And if the gorilla, you see, the real question is, can you put a human brain in a gorilla? That's the real issue. Put the human brain in the gorilla. Now the gorilla is going to go, he's going to, he's going to get something in the corner.

Protect his back. He's going to protect his back. He's going to throw hands and he's going to be biting. Do you think that they don't have some of that instinct already? Sure. Yeah. They do, but they're going to, the gorilla like a chimp, is going to go from zero. to 100. I mean, all out. And if you ever see them fight, they scream and they grow crazy,

but they're not fighters. They're, they're pretty intimidating though. Yeah. But do you remember like on what was that show with Tom Cruise where he said, okay, five of you, I'm going to take out the head guy, the lead guy, then two of you are going to run? Yeah. Do you think that would happen with with the grill? I see like the grill came out hot. Yeah. I'm thinking some guys would bale. Yes, but we're all in a room, so you can't bail for long. Okay. And what you do is when the guerrillas got his hands full of three guys.

Have you, you've submitted a gorilla. So I was in Rwanda and doing some work for the government. What the fuck is, is somebody laughing? You know, I don't appreciate it. I'm trying to talk about when I was in Rwanda. Rwanda, you're doing some work for the government.

Just ignore. Yeah, I was... I apologize for that. Anyway, I was doing a secret mission. I was basically keeping poachers. I was neutralizing the poacher threat. Let's just keep it at that. Let's keep it at that.

I was neutralizing the poacher threat. Okay? And they'll never be an issue again. Well, you know, kind of hard when you have a throwing star sticking out of your forehead. You know what I'm saying? all right or a poison dart in your fucking neck point yeah and that and yes and i do operate

with silent weaponry wow all right thank you i'm not using fucking guns bang bang i using my fire stick you know i blend in with nature i don't want to disturb the animals and that's what i do yeah and uh i did get in a in a muckup i got in a muckup a little muck up with a silverback who didn't like me around this uh clan and um Luckily, because I train Jiu-Zitsu, as you know, I would never be able to do anything against Girorella, but he overcompensated. I armed dragged him, took his back,

and I sat on his back because I'm a backpack, because I'm a Damien Maya backpack, all right? Because I'm getting on your back. We know that. Body triangle? I will crab up on you. His midsection was a little too thick for my legs. I have a short femur bone.

Yeah, it's from my mother, the Sicilian side. Oh. Yeah, so I couldn't do a body lock. So what I do is I crab up on him. I crab up on him and I hold onto his neck and I just take a ride. I take a ride. How long did that last? Huh?

That took a while. And then he had it a little bit of an adrenaline dump. All right? And I let him know. I gave him the old what for. We're fighting for hand control. Was he trying to peel your arms? I was holding on here like this, keep my elbow tight and I was just riding.

It was just this. It was a lot of that. Waring him down. Yeah, just keep wearing them down. Here they go. That's it. It's a lot like, because I used to ride rodeo. Bulls.

I'm sponsored by Wrangler. Pretty much everything. Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. Bulls, Bronx. What is his name? Fat Cowgirls.

What? What's his name? Your producer. Gideon? Gideon, seriously. You know? Anyway, I'm not going to talk to you about my time in Rwanda anymore because I'm not getting any respect. Why do you have a feather?

Why do you have a random feather here? It's a turkey feather. Oh. Yeah. I shot at Tom. You did? No, but I was with Rogan when he shot at Tom. We went turkey hunting.

Yeah. What'd you think of it? Well, I didn't enjoy it. I liked being in Napa, and I like wine and good food, and I made Joe pay for all the meals. But we were sitting in a blind, and I had to wear a mask of fake leaves because turkeys can see your face. And then we slew a turkey. We called one in, and a turkey showed up, and Joe shot. it before I could.

And then we had the turkey in the field. Would you say he shot it out from under you? He shot it out from under me. He shot it out from under me. I said. Yeah. And I was, but,

you know, I was like, all right, fine. But he's like your kind of disciple, isn't he? He's my third best student when it comes to comedy and jizu. And life.

And life. Yeah. And life. Thank you for knowing that. Does he pay for every meal everywhere? Yes, he does. because like sometimes I think I'm going to pay but then I like see how many people are there

I know and I look at the menu and I'm like might let this one yeah I mean so I'll like hey Joe do you want to go get a coffee I know let me get this Joe what I love about Joe is this generosity we were in we were in Seattle and we got coffee it was at the airport and I watched him

he just there was a tip jar. We got coffee and he just put $100 in the tip jar, but he didn't say anything. Yeah. As we were walking away, I said, that was $100, huh? And he goes, yeah, I call that a love bomb. I'll give him a hundred bucks to get the fuck out of there. That's Joe. That's who Joe is when nobody's looking. He's the best. That's why I love him. Yeah. Yeah, my buddy's a billionaire and I went to pay him for a meal and he goes, don't ever do that ever again, never again. Don't ever do that because it means nothing. Yeah, I try, I do that with Joe. I pay for stuff.

and he's just like he kind of laughs at it like it'd be like one of my kids when they were seven paying for something yeah it's some more of that what joe wants what joe wants is you know what i appreciate one time he said to me you you never asked me for anything you know and i was like well it never dawned on me to ask you for anything because you're my friend i've known you for 30 years and so you know that i think when when you become joe rogan and you get that busy and everybody wants a piece of you people will get to me because they want to get to Joe. Yeah.

It's amazing. I'm sure you get to deal with the same shit. And, you know, part of what happens is you start to shield your friend from these kinds of things, these kind of business opportunities. And also, I think as you get more and more in that stratospheric level of fame, you tend to want to hold on to the people that were there from the beginning. Yeah. Did you have to question their intention?

Yeah, man. Yeah. I mean, that's important. It's like, are you friends with me because you like me or because I can do something for you? And it's always transactional. I see it all. We were talking about it recently. And he had to turn his back on somebody because they were always tweeting him like he was a transaction.

Yeah. And I was like, yeah, that happens, you know. Yeah, that would be hard. They're excused because life is hard and you just want to get to the next level. And sometimes it's tempting. But, you know, I'm still going to ask him to the podcast to promote my special, though. I mean, I still asked him to write the forward to my book. Oh, man, that's worth it because he respects you.

But you're a legit friend, you know. Yeah, yeah, no. It's, I do hate asking for anything. I mean, I will never ask for tickets to a fight. Like, people always say, I do. They say, hey, are you going to the, like, some big fight? You going to it? And I'm like, don't know.

They go, oh, well, you usually go with Joe. I said, he hasn't asked and I don't ask. So it's like, I just never want to be. I'll only do that if I'm in town where he is or if I have like my nephew really wanted to go to the U.S.C. Yeah, but you've been in France for 30 years too. Plus I've been to the USC plenty of. It's different for you. I like to be behind him where we sit.

I know. Like Caveside. Dude. I brought my brother-in-law down. I was like, you know, I was like, all right, come check it out. Best seats in the house. Can you believe that? We're talking to Dane away.

We're talking to, you know. Yeah. I mean, you know, Zuckerberg's there. It's crazy. My favorite one was I was there in, I don't know what year this was or when it was, but I was sitting there. And in the first row over to the right, like in the regular crowd section, first row there, Leo, DeCaprio. So I'm like, yeah, I got better seats than you, bitch.

Isn't that crazy? I know. I know. I know. It's crazy seats. Yeah. It was him and that guy from the entourage. I can't remember his name, but one of the actors in there.

But yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Amazing experience. Yeah, so your comedy special, when does it come out? I'm editing it now, and I'm going to, I think it's done. I think today is the day it just got done editing. Yeah, literally today. And then will it be YouTube or do you have to pay or? It'll be YouTube. Yeah. And then I think, I mean, unless some by some miracle, Netflix picks it up, they've never even watched one of my specials.

I remember my complicated apes was like, I didn't bet Adam Carolla said, this year. is the highest rated special ever on Apple. I guess there was the thing. And I was like, really? And he showed me, I did his podcast and he was showing me or a show. And I'm like, you know, hey Netflix, like, can I, maybe you could have just watched it. Like, maybe watch it, you know, I don't, you know, but, but they, they have an agenda. It's their thing.

And I just didn't fit into it. They're nothing without you. They're nothing without me. There's no way they're going to make it. If they pass up opportunities like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. No, I'd love it if they did because it just sells.

more tickets. As long as I can keep selling tickets and doing stand-up. Yeah. That's what's fun, you know. Is it, uh, how, like, how many cities are you going to right now? I'm, I'm going to be in Oklahoma. I'll be in, uh, Oklahoma, I think May 30th and 31st, I'll be in Tulsa. So I'll be in Oklahoma City, then Tulsa, and then I'm in, I'm in San Diego at Mike Drop in August. And I just got a bunch of, I'll be at the Brea Improv, um, July 5th. That's a Saturday. See, you know, I'm just all over the place. And you love it.

I love it, man. Brian Callan.com. So, yeah, so what's up with the podcast? So you have new podcast, old podcast? Yeah, so I have, so, so, uh, Fire and Kids always been there, but, um, I have been doing this podcast off limits where I just interview people that are a lot smarter than I am. And that's been a lot of fun. What was that?

What was that? He dropped his, his shaman bee. just sounded like a bunch of beads like his rosary was that your butt plug yeah is that what it was my anal beads is your anal beads that's what I thought I said rosary but of course it was it was an it was anal beads that's close classic this is that's a classic metaphor for this podcast I walked in thinking it was I was going to be counting the rosary and I'm counting anal beads all right but um I don't even know what I was saying but yeah that's it podcast yeah so so off limits um and I'm re kind of hashing it.

I just did, I just had Eric Weinstein on, Carrotop on. I can't talk to, I can't talk to smart people. He's so smart. I mean, I can barely talk to you.

Dude, and I'm smart. Every four words. Yeah, I know. I don't know what. Poor thing. Because you know what?

Because it's not archery. It's not archery and running and carrying stones. Carrying rocks. Archery. We've evolved. Yeah. And I haven't. You'll take,

you'll take my workshop. Yeah. And, so you talk to Eric Weinstein. Yeah. and he's got a theory of everything. Carlyne Williams. Yeah.

Yeah, he's, he's, uh, he, he, he's so funny. He's so funny, though. He's just his face like a mess. We talked about it. He's just a character. He wears makeup and he just, he's just a very unique character. He's an amazing guy. He's such a sweetheart.

Have you ever met him? Oh, he's such a good guy. And he's so funny. You just wait to see. He did a very popular show. I won't even say. When is this going to air? Like Monday? Okay. Yeah. Well, you're about to see how, why that guy has been packing crowds in in Vegas for 30 years.

Really? He is so funny. Carrotop. And he's on a big show. Oh, dude. Yeah, but he's so funny. Like, people don't realize how good that guy is. It's like, it's so much fun because he looks different. He's got his hair and all muscular. You get distracted.

Yeah, he's 60. He's 60. He's 60 and he's a genius. He's a genius and I just was so pleasantly surprised. I'd heard good things about him and I've always respected him because I've seen what he does. Like he's really good. But he's just a good person, man. He's just a downer.

But he's living in Vegas. People don't know. I think people get distracted like me get distracted by just what you see. Yeah. But he's always put shit in his hair. Yeah. He shows up. He's got like, you know, he's got like he's got yarn.

and his hair, he's got glitter, he's got makeup. He was doing that before he was famous. He was doing that in high school. I was like, what is it about that? What are you doing? He goes, I don't know. I don't know. It's all good.

Yeah. He's made a career out of it. He's an original. So you, what's that podcast called? Off limits. Off limits. Yeah, you got to come on. And it's just, you just talk to anybody better.

Well, I do other things, do. I host debates. Oh, really? Yes. And that's been, that was pretty cool. I had Stephen Meyer and Michael Shermer on. Stephen Myers is a physicist, but he's very religious. Michael Schumer's a skeptic.

Oh, okay. I have a lot of debates between, like, you know, atheists and Christians or people who are religious, but I like the religious people to also be scientists. And so you get into these really fantastic debates, and I'm going to host more of those. Get Huberman. I'd love to. I don't know, I don't know him, but I'd love to get him. You know him pretty well, right?

Yeah. He wrote the forward of this book. That's awesome. How many books have you read? That's so cool. Four. Damn, dude. Yeah, but he did a great job on that forward.

He's such a good guy, but he's a believer. Oh, is he? He's religious? Yes. Wow. I didn't know that. I never would have thought he was. Yeah, the scientists.

Is that new for him or has he always been? Fairly new, it seems like, you know, but it seems like the scientists, they want, you know, an answer for everything, kind of. And so having faith is different. But, yeah. Well, science shows you sort of how things work, right? but not why. Right.

And the why is always there, you know. Jordan Peterson helped me a lot with that. He's been very articulate about sort of like the kinds of, but I've always felt that there was something much bigger than myself to be a service. I think so. There has to be. I don't know how you live otherwise, you know. Yeah.

There's some, nobody could explain everything. No. So you get, I don't want to explain everything, by the way. I love the mystery. I don't think we want to stay alive without one. There's something that romance is synonymous with wonder. You are wondering.

You know, I'm not into this wonderful kind of like, what is it? You know, human beings, you can break a human being down to their scientific components. You can break them down to their protozoa and to their genome and you can break it down to a number. Great. Cool. It's not what a human being is. It's what they're made of. But there's something about when it's all assimilated under the best of circumstances.

that creates the kind of inspiration that, you know, Mozart, Beethoven, Brian Callum, he does stand-up delivers. I mean, that was... You see that? But that's the idea. It's like you can take a piano and you can have it sit in a back room. It's not a piano until it's touched the right way. Well, and you think about, we've talked about silver bag guerrillas and monkeys.

And every other animal, they're just a fucking animal. They're all the same. don't have the potential that we do. They're the same. Whereas every human is so unique in its own way and what it can create and how, you know, our brains operate and our feelings and our emotions and our everything. Well, more importantly, the fact that human beings can step outside of their feelings and their emotions and their body and their mind. Human beings can get very good at actually witnessing. It's a really interesting, it's an interesting exercise, you know. By the way, this doesn't preclude

that evolution is true. evolution can exist within a larger context, within a smaller context of the larger context, which is that something created evolution. Just because you figure out the mechanism in which we came about doesn't mean that that eradicates, it's not design without a designer. That was Darwin's notion, but no, there is a designer. I don't know what that designer is, but, you know, if it's something like God, in my opinion. But you know, but you had something that I interrupted you because I had a thought and I can't

remember what it was. But it was, I was just saying how, you know, the human species is so varied in our emotions and where animals are pretty much, they're very similar, you know, and we're basically the opposite of that. And then we can create, we can, we have this conscious thought. Yeah. You know, animals react mostly on fight or flight, essentially. Yeah. I mean, and we, you know, have potential. Yeah. Potential is what you mentioned.

Whatever we can imagine. So you'll never touch perfection, but you can imagine perfection. And the reach, it seems to get us closer and closer to whatever we think is possible and goes beyond what we thought was possible. And we keep coming up with new ideas. That's kind of fascinating. But consciousness is fascinating to me. The idea that you can sort of, like if you think about sitting quietly, it was probably something like meditation, right? So if you, if you, if you, human beings seem to be able to actually witness their own avatar,

that we're able to witness this body go through, you can, you can watch your thoughts, come into your mind and leave your mind. You can watch your emotions change your body. You can watch your physicality change, the temperature, the pressure, or the tingling. Well, then the question is, who's doing the watching? Who's actually the witness there? That might be who you really are. That notion that, you know, that, you know, that's, you know, that's.

yourself. This, the, the, the, the, that, that witness, that is not sort of even, it's not beholden to this physical world. How do you get to that place? It's kind of what the Christian mystics talked about, right? You can't touch my soul. It's like, you know, you can torture me. You ever read Uncle Tom's cabin?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, and he was so profoundly religious, so as they were beating him and torturing him, they couldn't touch the inner, so he became a witness to his own torture. It's very Christ-like, right? It's very much the notion behind, you know, sort of Jesus on the cross. What does it take to get there? Suffering.

I've always said that when you're suffering, you can't lie. Like that is the ultimate truth serum is suffering. That's why, you know, military has used torture to get the truth. But suffering in the way you described it or on, I think, to a, you know, I just did this big race and I was definitely suffering. You can't lie in those moments. No.

So it's like, does it take suffrage? Does it take pain? Does it take to get to the truth? Because without that, are we just, we can just lie to ourselves or we can lie to the world or we can put on an act, but when you're suffering, you can't.

I would say suffering's inevitable anyway. And you're going to face suffering. And it's going to be a lot worse. If you don't align yourself with the truth. You're going to fall short. You're going to chase something, and you're probably going to chase something like status and money and power and sex and all those things, the sensations and safety and comfort. And I think that it's inevitable and impossible that that will not lead to, it will have its conclusion, and its conclusion will not be satisfactory. Its conclusion

could even lead to a crisis. Its conclusion could be, if you worship false gods, which is really, in my opinion, the entire point of, at least the Old Testament, if you worship false gods, if you worship, if you worship yourself, and if you worship the god of money and the god of, all these things that seem to be of this earth, you will get to the top of that wall, and you won't like the view, or you'll realize you spent all this time climbing the wrong wall.

And if you doubt that, ask anybody, Will Smith was talking about this. Will Smith said, I have gotten everything. I mean everything to the wall. the endth degree that I could ever want. Everything from money, sex, power, good looking, you name it. I've touched all of it. I've touched it all.

And that led to a massive crisis. One where it's like I might kill myself. And he had to go inside. He had to go, wait a minute, man. If I don't find something like God, something that's bigger than myself, I'm going to end it all. And Tolstoy went through the same process. you know. I don't know if you know that. His book, A Confession was about that.

Does every, you think every human's going to go through that eventually? You know, the ones that are awake, I think we all take a different, we're all along this journey and everybody's in their own journey, but some people maybe. You could die blind. I think so. Yeah, you could.

I don't know, that's a good question. I haven't thought about it too much. I think I think it's a cynical thing to say and it's, I don't want to say that I'm further along that road. That's the danger here in this conversation there. But I think that there are for sure there are monsters in the world. There are people that are born without this curiosity, without the capacity to want to understand or know. There are people who have a condition called narcissism where they are the end all and be all. So yes,

not for everyone. But if you're somewhat awake and if you've been gifted with enough of an apparatus at birth to at least know what you don't know, be aware of what you don't know, and be interested in knowing what you don't know. I think that kind of leads you down at least a philosophical path, and you might get to a point where reason and logic don't get you out of the trap, and that's where faith comes in. There's another tributary there. And I think that's kind of maybe what happens. Where would you say you are? I mean, where have you been closest to, if you say a higher power, you say God, you say whatever, where have you been closest to that? Have you suffered? Yes. And I think time and loss and planning and then it not coming through and having

children and watching your children go through what they go through. And just being aware of how vulnerable at all is. Maybe it comes out of the fact that when you have children, you love them so much. It makes you so vulnerable. But also just this terrible thing, this terrible thing, this life can be horrifying, man. And sometimes there's no other way to, and it doesn't have to be your suffering. It can be just witness to other people's suffering. And I think that one of the things I like about Christianity, for example, is that it is, there is meaning to suffer. There's meaning to your suffering matters and there's meaning to it. And I like the idea that you are a flawed being and you always will be flawed.

That I think is pretty cool. My problem with Scientology where you reach clarity, my problem with, you know, even the notion, and I have an enormous respect for Buddhism, but the idea that you're going to reach enlightenment, that you're going to become a God of some kind or one with God, I just always think that's a dangerous thing to try for. And it's one of the reasons that people who are from the West have a lot of trouble getting to Satory or Enlightenment. Because what they're really trying to do is have this universal understanding and universal clarity. And really, it's a pursuit of purity. I think that's a big mistake. I really do. I think one of the strengths of the characters in the

Old Testament and the example of Christ was that even in the Garden of Bethemone, he was sweating. He was terrified. He had to pray. Wow. And even at the end, he said, why have you forsaken me? He almost lost his faith. He almost did until he said, it's accomplished. He said, forgive me. The notion of forgiveness is so powerful. Like to love your enemy is radical. It's a radical idea. So I love those kinds of things. I like how, forget whether you believe Jesus is the Messiah. I like the idea that Christianity or the Judeo-Christian ethic gives us so much room to be human, which really means to be flawed, which really means to fall short.

Yeah. And there's still a way out. That's the only honest approach. I mean, look at how often, look, you and I are always in a pursuit of something, right? And you fail really more than you succeed. Yeah. You just do. Yeah.

And it's like, all right. And sometimes the good guys lose. And sometimes your noble aspirations don't work out economically. Right. You know, there are a lot of great artists that never really, you know, did it. Yeah. So. Yeah.

No, it's true. It's, yeah, what I've always thought, too, and again, this race reminded me of it, but it's like the more I suffer, the more pain I'm in, the closer I feel to God. because I feel like it's been that, you know, when we're going to face God is when we die, the more you're suffering, the closer you have to be to dying, you know, if this suffering is actually real, this pain is real. And this is a true test you're going through. To me, that's where I'm like, I'm closest to God in those moments.

And I like it. Me too. I want to be more miserable. Yeah. Because it makes that more real. And in regular life, you know, and I've said this before, it's like, when things are going good, you never pray. You never. No, you don't find God.

And when you're holding the championship belt over your head. You don't. You find God in the shadows in the darkness. When you're hurting. Yeah. And so if I can manufacture those moments, that's, to me, that's what I want. That's where I've been fighting to get to my whole life. Yeah.

And it's like. That's interesting. Most people avoid. It's like wearing a hair shirt or something. It's kind of, yeah. It's like, it's just, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it makes sense to anybody else, but to me it makes sense. And in those moments, it just, it feels real.

Well, think about this. I was thinking about this the other day. Again, you can witness when you're running and you're in that state, you can kind of, you're talking to yourself, you know? Yeah. And you're trying to talk to yourself in a good way and an empowering way because, man, there's another voice that says, it's like my joke, negative Brian and positive Brian. It's like, you know, negative Brian's.

going, listen, bitch, quit. You're not good anyway. You're just, you everything about you sucks. And, you know, that's that sort of idea of this conversation you have with yourself. Well, I think we're ultimately going to get to a point where we say goodbye to ourselves. You're going to have to say goodbye to this body of yours that seems to have served you so well that can run 250 miles. There's a lot of pride in that. And you've worked really hard to get to that point. But it only, there's, it only goes downhill. After we get to be about 60, next year ain't better no matter what you do you're running to stand still but you're really running to walk backwards and that's just what it is wisdom is coming to terms with your own limitations and the fact that

your body is a limitation and i think that you know you would you would do yourself a good service as a human being to know and to contemplate that at the end of the day you will say goodbye to this body and then you have to ask yourself well who is this who is this who is this who is who is this person who can't do all this. Yeah, and who is this person who is going to say goodbye? Who is that? Who is that witness? That's the real me. That might be something like my soul. And I love that. I love that idea. This is the Vedanta. This is kind of like what the Himalayan sages were spending. That was what they were carrying on about for the most part and still are. And I love that idea. And I don't think it precludes the idea that you can be profoundly religious and go to church either.

Right. Well, I mean, you're obviously intelligent, well-read, been everywhere good looking uh athletic virile athletic what athletic strong tall uh tall it doesn't matter because because your fans are gonna they're gonna they're filling in the blank so i anyway it doesn't might keep going i'm what do you but tall Cameron i'm five in shoes i'm five 11 a solid five 11 i'm little taller of five 11 shoes but would somebody say that's tall to me like if somebody He's like 6-6, like, oh, he's tall. I know, but like with my charisma? That's not height.

Move on. What are you saying? I mean, those are two different. This podcast has been a f***astor. I have to be on stage in like two hours. Height and you're saying charisma, that's like, those are two completely different things. Listen, I'm sold out tonight. Because like Danny DeVito has charisma.

Is he tall? No, he's not. I know, but you said that everybody's unique and I'm unique. But not tall. Fuck. So tell me, what have you learned in your 58 years? What have you learned now that you wish you would have known as a young man? How about that?

Yeah, that's a great question that I think about all the time. I think my only regret is that I didn't focus even more on girls. No, there was too much focus on that. There was too much focus on that. You know, I always think to myself, I probably would have given myself advice, and I wouldn't really have listened, and I wouldn't really have known.

Because the only way I've learned is by making mistakes. Yeah. And I'd probably be right back to where I am here. I really do when people tell me what to do. Yeah. If somebody tells me something, hey, you know what, you should do this? I'm like, you know what? You should fuck off.

That's right. That's exactly right. So I would tell myself something and it probably, you know, I think I would have said this. I would have said, I know exactly what I've told myself. I would have said, Brian, your tendency is to think that the world is that everybody in the world is just like you. They have your intentions and they want, they mean the best for everybody. everywhere. And that's not true. And it doesn't mean they're bad. It just means that you are going to spend a lot of time, if you're not careful, on people that are not worth your time. And you're going to

spend a lot of time with people because you have this wishful, movie influenced, Hollywood notion that people change. The storyline, yeah. That they change and they come through it and everybody is living happily ever after and that our bonds are there forever. Right. And that is all bullshit. It's just bullshit. And the people that I know like Rogan had a built-in ability to go, that guy is bad, that girl's crazy, goff, and he moves over here.

I couldn't do that to people. I kept them around forever. I've never been able to do it. It's my weakness. It is not a virtue. It's not a virtue. you. It's a weakness. And I don't take any credit for you. Oh, you're a nice guy. No, it's the way I'm wired. It's not, no credit here, but it's a liability. And it was just a big. So I think if you're young, I would say be ruthless about who you let into your circle. Be ruthless and be really ruthless about who you choose to marry. That's the most important decision you could ever make. Who are you going to spend the rest of your life with and have children with? That is the most important decision. I don't care what anybody says. My friends made all the money and he toasted his wife and she has cancer and she's been fighting it and successfully.

But he said, I would have told you a long time ago that making, choosing the right path in life, your right career path and everything is the most important thing. And he goes, I couldn't have been more wrong. The most important thing you could ever choose is the mate you choose to settle down with. Right. And that's so important because everything springs from there because that's the first honest, that's the first honest action. You know, will you marry me?

I love you. If you're lying when you say that, and most people are, and most people are doing it for other reasons, and they're not even aware of it, and you're excused for it because we're always fucked up, but that's the lie, that you will pay for. I love what, I love, love what Jordan Peterson said.

He said, you will pay for everything you did and didn't do in your life, and you'll pay in full. That's intense. I would have said, that too to myself. I would have said you will get away with absolutely nothing. You will pay in full for everything you do and don't do, which I always had an inherent idea of, right? I knew I had to be an actor or had to be a comic. I made the right decisions because I knew it would have been a disaster. I was so afraid of regret. I was so afraid to look back on my life and be like, I didn't go for it.

I didn't take the road less traveled, you know, the courageous path. So for the most part, yes, but you chose you chose a hard road for sure. I love it. A hard business. I love it, man. Yeah, but no, that's Peterson. Yeah. That's a sobering thought. Yeah, man. Yeah, you'll pay for everything you did and didn't do.

Yeah, but that's so true. Yeah, he said in my 35 years of psychoanalysis, I've never seen anyone ever get away with anything even once. Yeah. God, that sucks. Come on, dude. I know. Not even me.

Come on, bro, right? Can I get away with one? No, you can twist a fabric of reality for a while, as he said. It's like, God, Jesus. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, that's good advice. I mean, that's spot on.

And I couldn't agree more. But yeah, I appreciate you coming over here. Great to be your buddy. I know you got a show coming up. I can't wait to see it. Good. Can't wait see you there. It's going to be good time.

Yeah, it's going to be great. Thank you, Brian. Thank you, buddy. I appreciate the time. You're a good man. It's a pleasure to call you friend. Yes, sir. You too.

I appreciate you guys.