Canadian True Crime - Q&A with Kristi Lee

Episode Date: September 15, 2020

Hi everyone! It's been 2.5 years since I did a Q&A, and I know you have questions, so I thought I'd answer them. Enjoy! New podcast recommendationOne Strange ThingThanks for supporting my sponsors!See the special offer codes hereAccess the Extended Q&AAlso get ad-free episodes, Chats with Kristi after show, bonus episodes, and more Learn more APPROXIMATE IMESTAMPS:2:00 – How did I get into true crime and why5:00 – Decision to start a podcast13:00 – Things I’ve learned from podcasting14:30 – Best part about podcasting16:45 – Hardest part about podcasting17:30 – Where will CTC be in 5 years?19:20 – Covid-1922:30 – True crime documentaries24:30 – Cases I really want to cover but haven’t had a chance to yetAD BREAK30:00 – Cases I’ll NEVER cover33:00 – Lingering questions from cases I’ve covered36:00 – Most shocking and infuriating cases37:00 – Do I contact families of victims in my episodes?43:30 – Why I moved to Canada49:00 – Strangest thing about Canada53:30 – Favourite part about Canada56:00 – How did I decide what part of Canada to live in?57:00 – Mental health / depression / anxiety update – what’s been helping me?See you soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi there, I hope you're well. It's been over two and a half years since I last did a Q&A and lots of questions have been asked, so I thought it might be time to do another one in the lead-up to when I come back with my next episode on October the 1st. In this Q&A, I cover topics like how I got into true crime, a whole bunch of podcasting questions, including the best parts and the hardest parts and my future plans, favorite true crime documentaries, a whole bunch of questions about cases and a whole lot more. To see the full list of questions, along with approximate time stamps for each one, give or take a few minutes, check the show notes. And just before I get started, if you're looking for an intriguing and unique new podcast to listen to, my friend Laura from

the Four Line has just released the first episode of One Strange Thing. It's amazing. Here's a quick promo, and then we'll get straight into the Q&A. enjoy a little mystery. And on the new podcast, One Strange Thing, that's just what you'll get. Every other week, One Strange Thing presents forgotten stories from America's News archives. They all have something in common, a single element that can't quite be explained. I'm Laura Norton. Join me on One Strange Thing, and you'll hear about bizarre events that unfolded in our country's local newspapers.

but never made it much further than that. No matter the place or the people, one strange thing brings you stories that are very real and just a little otherworldly. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. The first question comes from Anne and she says, what case or incident started you on your path of loving true crime?

I discovered true crime kind of by accident I was 21 and I randomly discovered the website, crime library.com. Lots of people will remember it from the late 90s and the early 2000s when it was in its heyday. But basically it's a series of long-form essays, or was a series, should I say, on various murders. So most commonly the big-name serial killers like Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Dennis Nilsson, Ed Kemper, etc. but also it had some super shocking stories there too and it was there that I learned first about the three cases that really, really stuck with me. One was Paul Bonato and Carla Hamalka obviously. I just couldn't believe that case. It was just out of this world that she would do that

to her own sister and don't even get me started on him. I just couldn't fathom it really. And two others that I couldn't really fathom was the murder of Anita Colour. in Australia and this case was covered expertly by case file so go and check that one out if you haven't and the other one was the murder of james bulger in the UK that the little toddler that was taken off by the two teenagers i could never listen to a podcast on that so i can't tell you where you can go to listen to an episode about that it's such a horrendous case especially if you're a parent It affected me back when I was in my early 20s and I wasn't even a parent then. So there is no way I can't even fathom what those kids were thinking.

And since then, I've kind of been obsessed with learning all about the whys. Like, why do people do things like this? Because I can't fathom it. I guess that's what started my interest in true crime. Not a particular case, but just discovering this website, which is no longer online. It's a shame. Alistair asks, I often wonder what draws you and others to true crime stories. It is fascinating, of course, but do you have any other thoughts?

Is it a longing to understand the human condition? Yes, absolutely. And this is why I prefer to cover solved cases to unsolved ones. I like to know the whys, the who's, the backgrounds, the motives, just about all the different kinds of people in this world and what signs and behavioral traits we might be able to recognize in people in our lives and also in the lives of our loved ones. So I just want to know why people do the things they do. And sometimes there is no reason, but it does serve us well to know that there are these kinds

of people out there and to be able to recognize the signs and the symptoms of these kinds of people. So that is why I'm interested in true crime because I want to know what things that I should be looking out for and what things I should tell my children to look out for. Next question. David asks, what drew you to become a podcaster? Well, as many of you know, I started out as a podcast listener, a rabid podcast listener after a work friend of mine told me I had to listen to this podcast serial. and I'm like, eh, whatever. And then she literally grabbed my phone and downloaded the Stitcher podcast app. And then I'm like, fine, if she feels this strongly about it, then I'll just give it a go. So that afternoon on the train home, I listened to my first episode of serial and then I was hooked.

But that was in 2015 when there weren't anywhere near as many true crime podcasts as there are now. We are literally, we have so much choice now. back then we didn't. So for the next 18 months or so, I just kind of consumed all of the true crime content that I could find and I joined all the Facebook groups that were discussing true crime podcasts. There was a lot of marketing and promotion going on, both of listeners recommending other podcasts, new podcasters recommending their episodes. And it was there that I soon found this amazing community of podcasters and listeners. After a while, I noticed, that there were podcasts covering a lot of crimes from Australia and the US and the UK, but very little

from Canada. There was someone knows something, and that was a long form covering an unsolved case per season and not always a Canadian case. And then of course there was my pal from nighttime who covers weird Canadian stories, but only some of them are actual crime stories. But nobody I saw was covering exclusively Canadian cases in an anthology style like case by case. And I just started noticing that listeners on Facebook were asking for other podcasts to start covering Canadian cases. So I guess that kind of planted a seed in the back of my mind that there was a market for this. Now, I'm just going to be a little bit honest here. At the time, I was feeling a little bit dissatisfied with my life. I had just

returned back to work after having my second child. And I was kind of going through a transition period, I guess, where I was trying to figure out who I was as the mother of two young kids. It's kind of a little bit hard to explain, but those of you who are mothers will know how I feel, I felt like I'd kind of been absorbed into the kids. And then when I went back to work, I felt really lost like I didn't know who I was anymore. Like, I lost my identity, I guess. And I've always love to watch TV. And when I went back to work, I'd been watching a lot of TV at nights, obviously, once the kids were in bed. But after a couple of months of that, I was kind of starting to get a little bit bored. And despite commuting to Toronto during the day for work, getting home at 5.30

and then go, go, go, go, until the kids were in bed. I felt like I wasn't being productive with the two whole hours that I had to myself each night. But what to do about it? I was happy. I was happy in my full-time job in marketing and communication, so finding another job wasn't the answer. But then an idea kind of started brewing in my head. I'd been listening to a lot of case file, they walk among us, and felon true crime. They're all shows that have one narrator, no banter, fairly neutral, no-nonsense retelling of crime stories with some ambient background music, kind of an immersive experience. And those are the podcasts that I really really, really, really liked. And I kind of thought to myself, what if I did one of those just like that,

but for Canadian cases? But I'm not really the kind of person that is impulsive and takes action until I've like really seriously thought it out. So I kind of sat on the idea for like four months before I actually decided to do something about it. And when I did, I didn't make a decision, right, I'm going to start a podcast. I'm pretty, I'm not going to say lazy because I'm kind of a workaholic, but I guess when it comes to executing ideas and that kind of entrepreneurial spirit, I've never had that. So I kind of decided that, well, instead of trying to make a podcast, I'm going to just figure out what steps I need to go through to create an episode. And if I ever get there, then we'll see what happens. I seriously doubt.

that I would actually get there. So I just kind of started by deciding that the first part of the whole process would be writing a script. And that I knew I could do because I have 20 years of experience in marketing and communication. So writing is a big part of my full-time job. So I kind of thought to myself, let's see if we can do that. I researched and wrote the Paul and Carla Part 1 script. And there's so many things that I would change about that now if I could go back. But all of a sudden, I just kind of felt like this fire inside of me. And I got so much satisfaction out of researching and writing this kind of not so much a deep dive because there's several books that are a deep dive, but just kind of a roundup of the case.

I loved the writing and I loved the research. But what I realized most of all was that I loved the challenge of trying to do. decide how to structure the story. So when I'd finished writing and researching the script, I kind of thought, well, okay, so I've completed that step. What would the next step be in making a podcast? And obviously, it was to record it. And this, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, no experience in broadcasting or audio or anything. I basically had to learn everything from the get-go. So my husband had an old laptop lying around. He is an IT. Don't ask, there's computer shit everywhere. We downloaded this free editing software called Audacity and I decided that the only place that I could record would be my closet because there I could sneak away from my kids.

So that was my reason. But as it turns out, recording in the closet has great properties for reducing echo. like the clothes hanging in the closet really dampened the sound. So it really was fortuitous and worked out very well. At the beginning, I kind of got a cheap microphone. It's called a blue snowball. It was about 50 bucks. And I balanced it on the laundry basket while I sat with my legs crossed in front of me in the closet. And believe me, it was just as uncomfortable as it sounds. So I recorded the episode and I didn't tell anyone except my husband and a few close friends. In fact, I didn't even know if I would end up with the actual podcast at the end of it. But my goal was to go through the process of researching, writing, recording, editing and producing a complete podcast episode

just to say that I'd figured it out and I could do it. And working in marketing and communications, I think a podcasting skill set, especially in kind of this day and age. would be a valuable skill set to have. So I thought, you know, it's a win-win there. And so step by step, I just did it. I finished the episode, the Bernardo and Hamulka one, that fire was lit inside me and I just wanted to keep doing more. So what I really found is that it's not just a passion for true crime. It evolved into a passion for the process of creating a podcast episode. So I'm really happy to have found that. Zoe asks, what has been one or some of your favorite things you've learned while creating and growing your own podcast? So I'd have to say, I didn't expect to find a community.

I did everything myself when I was creating the first episodes and I didn't reach out to anyone for advice or help. And I'm not at all saying that's a bad thing, but it's just the way I work. I'm independent and I like to figure things out for myself. But after I released the first episode, I kind of felt welcomed into a community of other new true crime podcasters. And then we all just kind of promoted each other shows. And I have to say that this is vital when it comes to independent podcasts like mine who don't have the backing of a network or a host who either bring celebrity or an established

audience. So for those of us that start off with absolutely nothing, being in a community with others who are in the same boat is essential. And us independents do not view each other as competition at all. I always use the phrase, a rising tide lifts or boats, which basically means that as the podcast space continues to grow and more and more listeners discover podcasts, we can all help each other out with exposure. Because it's kind of naive to think that someone will only want to be. to listen to your podcast at all times. And even if they did, I could not produce enough episodes to keep them listening to my podcast. So why not promote other podcasts and we all promote each other? Caitlin asks, what is the best part of being a podcaster? Well, at the start, I really enjoyed the

process of creating each episode. But over time, like I said, that's kind of developed into a real interest in the podcasting industry as a whole. So even though the tasks required to be a podcaster aren't all strawberries and rainbows, I do feel that this is where my passion lies and it's kind of something that I've never thought that I'd have. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've had some amazing jobs and I've worked for some amazing companies over the years, including the one that I just left. But I can't say that any of my daily tasks kind of fulfilled a burning power. if you know what I mean. And the thing that I like right now about podcasting is that for the first time in my life, I'm the boss. And I don't mean being the boss of actual people. I just mean being

the boss of how I spend my day and how I spend my time and how I prioritize the work that I have to do. So I don't have to do anything unless it's vital to the podcast. Katelyn also asks, what's the hardest part of being a podcaster? More specifically, the type of podcasts you do? Well, in general, dealing with the criticism can be tough, regardless of whether it's justified, or just at an advanced level of nitpickiness or personal opinion, or just plain mean. People often say that you develop a thick skin and that it gets easier, but I haven't really found that. What I have found is that the less I check my reviews, the less upset I get about reading the bad ones. And another thing is, I've had to accept that not everyone will like me or my

voice or my style and not everyone will like my podcast. I have actually made concerted efforts in the past to try and please everyone, but I finally realized that it's literally not possible. So there is some kind of peace in accepting that no matter what I do, there will always be people that don't like it or don't like me. So I just accept. that as a fact and then I move on. And honestly, and honestly, this has been really helpful, not only in podcasting, but also in the real world as well. And the rest of the question is about the hardest part of podcasting specifically about being in the true crime genre. Now, I'm not going to say that it's difficult covering the subject matter. I've been into crime stories

for a long time and I'm kind of desensitized now and it also sounds kind of silly. to say that it's hard to cover these cases when people had to live through them. So I would say that the area of podcasting that is the hardest is just dealing with the criticism, I guess. Even if it's warranted, it's still hard to hear. Nancy says, where do you see yourself and the podcast in, say, five years? What is the big plan or the things that you can let us in on anyway? So with my podcast in five years, that is so, so hard. As you know, I quit my day job earlier this year, right when COVID-19 quarantine started here in Canada. Great timing. But before that, I spoke to a couple of my other friends in true crime podcasting who had been able to quit their jobs, and I asked them

what their plans were for the future, because it's really hard to leave a stable job with benefits and a pension plan for what is basically the unknown. When it comes to whether Canadian true crime will still be here the way it is now in five years, who knows? I would love to say yes, but it's really, really hard to know what's going to happen. I do know that I will likely still be in the podcasting industry because I have such a passion for this industry. And I keep a list of ideas for new projects and things that I want to do in podcasting outside of Canadian true crime. but I need the time and the space and obviously the mental clarity to be able to explore these kinds of ideas. And right now in the middle of a pandemic, while my kids are at home, that is not

happening. But fingers crossed for next year. Or maybe the year after. Oh God. So David asks, how are you and your family going with COVID? Yes, that is a very timely question. We are a family of introvert homebodies, so being at home isn't something that really affects us in a negative way. So that part of things has been okay. And the kids have actually been pretty happy during COVID-19. Bored, yes, an online school was a bit of a disaster, but they are happy. Or I should say they're happier than they were when they were going to school before. But I think the reason for that is that our life before this was crazy.

You know, I said before, the kids and I were out of the house by 7 a.m. and I didn't get home from work until 5.30. And then it was just crazy time until the kids went to bed. So they have been much, much happier since that rigid routine was taken away. But me and my husband, not so much. As you know, we're here in Canada. My husband is Australian too and all of our family is in Australia and New Zealand. And obviously we knew that we wouldn't have access. to any kind of support when we chose to move to Canada and contribute to the population. Now, I knew that we would both be working and would rely on paid child care when the kids were young and before and after school care when they're the age that they need to be to go to school. That was going to be our village of paid professionals. But it's a different proposition to have your kids with you 24-7 for an extended period of time. It's something that nobody could ever have planned for and it's been hard with no help and no support. So it's now been five, almost six months with more to come.

And we're not in a bubble with other people. That's kind of sad. But what makes it even sadder is that this year was our trip home to Australia, which we try to do every two to three years. And in fact, we were supposed to be there in August, but obviously that was cancelled. And the last time we were able to get home was in 2017, so three years ago. And I don't even know if we'll be able to reschedule for next year. So that's really, really hard.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is when your village consists of paid professionals and the entire thing was whipped out from under you and you find yourself trying to be a full-time parent and a full-time worker while also dealing with a global pandemic and an uncertain short-term and long-term future, and a number of social justice, uprisings and political issues that keep you constantly worrying and assessing your situation and your future when all of that is happening. It's kind of hard to focus on the day-to-day.

So that was a bit of a long conversation about how we're going with COVID. The short answer is that we are surviving, but I would not say that we're over the moon about this situation. But who is? Nobody is. We're all in the same boat here. Lyman asks, okay, hopefully you haven't been asked this before, or at least not recently. Would you list a few of your favorite true crime documentaries in the visual form? So TV, movie, streaming series. Definitely haven't been asked this question recently.

So these days, I don't consume a lot of true crime documentaries. I just find that when it's time to watch TV, so rare these days, I really just need escapism. So I actually switch to crime shows with fictional storylines and characters. And I love the British ones, Broad Church and Scott and Bailey. I also love The Sinner with Bill Pullman and also unbelievable with Tony Colette and Merritt Weaver. When it comes to true crime documentaries, there is one YouTube channel where I never ever, miss a single video that they upload. And it's called JCS criminal psychology, or it used to be called

Jim Can't Swim or JCS. I don't know. It's hard. But they don't just tell a crime story. It's what I believe to be a small group of psychologists, and they put together like an analysis of the case, including interrogation videos and pointing out techniques and nuances and responses and what kind of psychology factors might be at play and that kind of thing. So they analyze the interrogation videos of Russell Williams and Michael Rafferty who murdered Tory Stafford, along with Terry Lynn McClintick, and lots, lots more. You'll find them under Jim Can't Swim or JCS criminal psychology on YouTube. It's really, really, really good stuff. And that's really it. I think the last true crime documentary I watched was abducted in plain sight, which was quite a while ago.

I haven't even watched Tiger King. I don't even know who this Carol Baskin woman is, and quite frankly, I'm not sure that I want to. So Zoe asks, what are some major cases that have been on your list for a long time, but you haven't had the chance to cover them yet for whatever reason, especially crimes that you know would be a multi-parter? Zoe, I fell seen. So I wanted to tell you a bit about my process before I answer this. So listeners submit cases via my form at Canadiantruecrime.ca.ca. Slash submit. And from there, I make a short list of different cases with different motives from different timelines

and from different areas of Canada. And I use researchers for most of the cases that I do now so that I can focus on the things that I really enjoy, like the story structure and the kind of fine writing. And I never assign a case to a particular researcher. I go through my cases. I see what I have and then I give them five or so to choose from. And I think it's easier to research a case that really piques your interest rather than one that you were assigned and might not be as interested in. So a lot of what ends up being episodes is what the researchers have chosen from the short list that I give them. That said, there are a few exceptions. I do want to cover Bruce MacArthur, the Toronto serial killer,

one day, but I just haven't been ready yet and I know that it's going to be intense, it's going to be complex, and it is definitely going to be a multi-parter and I just haven't had the mental fortitude to cover it yet. And also, I just found out that the journalist Justin Ling is about to release a book on the case. Now, if you don't know, Justin covered this case as the host of Uncover to CBC Podcasts Uncover in the series called The Village. And his book is called Missing from the village, the story of serial killer Bruce MacArthur, The Search for Justice, and the system that failed Toronto's queer community. It's being published by Penguin Random House Canada, so definitely look out for that book. But yeah, with that book coming out, I think I'll use it as an excuse to wait

even longer to cover Bruce MacArthur. I don't want to step on anybody's toes with that case. So you might also be asking, why did I cover cases like Richard Olland and Ezekiel Stephan, both three parters this year. Well, the simple truth is that I didn't know that they would be so involved and so confusing until I dug in so far that there was no turning back. So sadly, I've never been able to catch up on my work to a point where I don't get into these situations. It's sad, but it's true. I've just had to prioritize flying by the seat of my pants to trying, it takes a long time to figure out exactly what the intricacies of the case are until you really spend some time diving into the details. But at least with the Bruce MacArthur case, I know what I'm up

against. So, yeah, I can be prepared. There are also a lot of Toronto cases that I have on my list because I followed closely because I live in the area. But I have to kind of put them all back because I can't cover Toronto cases so closely together. So some examples of those are the crossbow killer, the webcam murder and the Mississauga bathtub murders. Sorry about all the ridiculous names, but these are what these cases are known as. Hopefully I'll do them one day, but I'll have to space them out. Sorry guys, I need to take a quick break to keep the lights on. After the break, I'll be telling you more about cases I'll never cover, cases that have shocked and infuriated me, contacting the families of the cases that I cover, the best and worst parts of Canada and a mental health

update. Back in just a second. Thanks for your patience. Elliot is asking, what is one case you will never ever do no matter how many times people ask? So I have a form on my website for people to submit case suggestions at Canadian true crime. and I used to have a list of cases there that I won't ever cover. Now at the time I felt that certain cases had been covered extremely well by other podcasts and I likely couldn't add anything to that. So I put a list of these on this page as cases that I will never cover. One of these cases is Kimberly Proctor from BC because at the time Dark Poutine covered this but now it's been at least two years since that episode, so I think I will end up covering this one, although again,

no one has started researching it yet. Another case like this is the Richardson family murders. I actually was going to cover this case early on, but then I heard court junkies, excellent coverage, and decided to leave that case B. But I might change my mind on this one later on. Another case is the monster of Miramishie, Alan Leger, My pal Jordan, the eclectic and well eccentric host of nighttime, covered this in a multi-part series, but that was at least three years ago now and his style is a bit different to me. So I might add this one to my list later on. Who knows? Sorry, Jordan, if you're listening. Originally, I also said that I wouldn't cover Russell Williams because I'd followed the case in the news at the time and as a massive case, it had already been covered by many other podcasts. But then I realized that sometimes my niche is shining a light on the victims of well-known killers. So I became interested in their stories. So that's why I changed my mind on that

one. Now, there are two cases that are still on my will never cover list and I doubt very much that I will change my mind on this. The first one is Luca Magnotta, which will surprise nobody who has been listening to this show for a while. I feel like everyone's heard my reason before, but we know that his motivation for that heinous crime that he committed was to get famous. He had tried on several reality shows before and he'd failed, and so he tried to become infamous instead. I really, really feel for the man that he murdered, Jun Lin, but I just don't really like the thought of doing something that might please Luca Magnotta if he ever found out about it. Now, the other case is the murder of Timothy McLean by Vincent Lee, the Greyhound Bus Beheading

case. This case is shocking. It's so, so heinous. And because of that, it's being covered by a lot of podcasts. And I felt like there was really nothing that I could contribute. And arguably the definitive coverage of this case was very recently on the Crime Beat podcast. And Nancy Hicks included it as the third part of a series on the Brentwood Five massacre, which is the Calgary massacre that I also covered.

Now, Nancy Hicks obviously incorporated the story of the murder of Timothy McLean on the Greyhound Bus because both Vince Lee and Matthew Degrook, grew from the Calgary murders were both found not criminally responsible. So it's an excellent series if you haven't heard it yet. Nancy is an investigative journalist who covered the case when it happened. So she's able to tell you the story in a much more personal way than someone like me who goes mostly by court documents and trial reporting. And she tells the story with interviews with the family members. So that's crime beat. Check it out if you have haven't already. It's really good.

Elliot also asks, what are some of your lingering questions from cases that you've covered? Alora Wells, from the last case that I covered in Toronto, the transgender homeless woman whose body was found, how did she die? It just sucks that they weren't able to figure that out through autopsy, and I do believe that it is highly likely that she fell off the bridge, but why was her body moved? There's just a couple of lingering questions there about that case, but I don't believe that there was foul play involved, although that's just an opinion. The next case with lingering questions, Ezekiel Stephan. I mean, I would love to know the truth in their motives. And do they secretly feel guilty, but they are continuing to fight publicly

because that is what they have to do to keep themselves from going to jail? I wonder, again, just my opinion. Richard Olland, that's the case from New Brunswick, you know, the Moosehead Brewery case with Dennis Olland the son. Why was there no blood spatter on Dennis's clothes other than those five tiny spots of DNA. Like if Dennis had been responsible for the murder, surely he would have had more blood on him. And if he was wearing something like a hazmat suit, where did he put it? He wasn't captured carrying anything like that out. And in fact, he had no blood on his bag or his car or anything, his shoes.

It's a puzzling case. and why did whoever murdered Richard take off with his phone? Like what was on that phone? If only those printing press guys had paid better attention to the time, we might have known for sure whether it was Dennis Oland or not. And lastly, I'm going to say Dallin Millard. I would love to see some kind of psychological report on him. I wonder if he has been diagnosed with any person.

personality disorders or negative cluster B or A personality traits like narcissistic personality disorder, that type of thing. I find him to be a very interesting and also terrifying personality. So kind of similar in a way to Russell Williams. You know, how are these people able to keep up a certain public face and then be so cold and calculating and lacking an empathy behind it all. It's just really fascinating to me. David asks, I wonder what have been the cases that have shocked you the most thus far and why. So I'm just going to say one case and that is Jane Hirschman. That was the two-part domestic violence case and just so desperately sad.

And one of my researchers, Haley, who researched that case, had to take several breaks as she was researching just because the details were too horrific to even comprehend. And many of them were really humiliating to the victim, which I try and avoid if I possibly can. So the details that I chose to include in that story were only the tip of the iceberg in that case. It's all in the book on the case, but that was very shocking that one. So Dala also asks which story made you the angriest. And I have to say, Alora Wells, the last one that I covered. She was failed on so many different levels. And again, I was working with her sister. So hearing about things from the family side always kind of makes things that much more real. So Helen wants to know if or how I engage victims or families in my research. She says, do you always constantly, contact them to let them know you're doing an episode, and have you ever received a negative response? So this is a very good question, and my answer has changed over the years. So when I started out, in the closet, I didn't contact families because basically I had incredible imposter syndrome,

which is basically I thought, what is someone who has no experience in podcasting and no qualifications applicable to anything in the crime field doing approaching families who've suffered such loss. I felt like I had no place contacting them. But then I chose a case at around episode 10 and it was a domestic homicide case and I did all the research for it and I saw that the media had focused more on the perpetrator rather than the victim. And I didn't know much about the victim and I saw her brother in the media raising awareness about domestic violence. So I thought if there's any time or any reason to reach out to the family members of a victim, this is it because I want to know more about her and I can see that the family is interested in raising awareness for domestic violence and domestic

homicide. So the way that us amateur true crime podcasters can try and track down family members of victims because we aren't private investigators is through good old Google and social media. So I found the brother on Facebook and I sent him a message. I told him that I was sorry for his sister's loss and I was going to cover her murder for the podcast and I wanted to know if he'd be interested in telling me a little bit more about her. But unfortunately, things had changed in the two years since I read quotes from him in the media and when I contacted him. Now I won't go into details for his privacy reasons because I did not end up covering this case. But needless to say, he told me that he didn't want to participate and would prefer that I didn't cover the story at all. And he said in a really

nice way that my contact had actually dredged everything up all over again for him. So obviously I felt terrible. Like already I felt like what am I doing contacting these people. And finally I found what I thought was a good reason and someone that had been in the media talking about it, it just did not work out. So I kind of decided never to put someone in that position again. And my reasoning was that I'm not raising awareness for an unsolved case or a missing person and I already know all the facts. By the time I cover a case, it's generally been through the court system and I have the court documents, I have trial reporting, long form journalism, documentary. Basically, I already have the facts that I need to tell the story. And at this point,

I had started to get quite a following for the podcast. Things had started to snowball. So I just kind of resolved to keep the families of the victims in mind with everything I did and try to honour the victims that I covered as much as I possibly could. In the meantime, I did hear back from people who were either directly involved in cases or close to cases, like, for example, Rodney Stafford, Victoria Stafford's father. And luckily, it was all good feedback. So just looking at the cases that I've covered, the first case where I worked with a family was episode 38.

that was Daniel Levec, who was the 20-year-old musician from Victoria, BC, who was murdered by his so-called friend who was, in effect, scamming him. But I didn't actually contact the family myself. They contacted me to see if we could work together. So that, I guess, was the reason why I started working with that family. And that gave me a lot of confidence. So Jordan from Nighttime and I, as you remember, we collaborated on that together. And it was through this. that I realize that I can actually offer family something. I can help them to tell the story that they wanted to tell, and I can include details about their loved one

that might not have made it to mainstream media. So that, in effect, gave me a little confidence and kind of helped my imposter syndrome a little bit, although I definitely haven't gone into a phase where I'm contacting everybody. There is nuance to it. So now I would say that I do contact families if I can find their contact details online, but there is some nuance to consider when I'm making the decision. So some considerations are,

has anyone been in the media talking about the case? So a family member, a spokesperson, they might be a good person to track down, especially if they've been trying to raise awareness for a certain issue. Often families will decline to speak to the media and obviously in that case, I would not contact them. Also, if it's an older case and there hasn't been any media reporting on it for quite a few years, then I will not contact the family because enough time has passed and I don't want to bother them. There are other considerations, but overall the answer is yes, I do contact the families of the victims that I cover if I feel it's appropriate and I can find someone to contact. The next question is from Dana or Dana. Sorry, not sure how it's pronounced.

What made you decide to move to Canada from Australia and did you find that there was an adjustment period when you moved here? So moving to Canada was my husband's idea. It had never been on my radar until I met my husband. And it's always been a dream of his since he discovered the NHL when he was a teenager. So he quickly decided that the Australian sports of, you know, football and swimming and whatever weren't for him. And he wanted to one day move to Canada because he's really into ice hockey. So I met him at work and we were like the gym and Pam of the office. And he told me that he wanted to move to Canada within five years. So we got together like eight or nine months after we started working together. And I guess because I already,

knew that he wanted to move to Canada, I kind of adopted it as my plan too. I don't ever remember sitting down and thinking, okay, should I move to Canada or not? I just kind of decided that I would go with him. So we got married in 2009 and then three months later, we arrived in Toronto with nothing but two suitcases, one box and bright-eyed ambition. So that's where we get to the adjustment period and yes absolutely there was so it's funny i never stopped to think about what it would be like once we got to toronto because before then everything was so focused on packing up our lives in brisbane australia and getting to toronto so we never actually thought about what would happen like once we got there other than like we need to look for a job and a place to live

So it was a big culture shock. Despite the fact that both countries are fairly similar on the surface, everything works so differently from like setting up bank accounts to buying a car or a house. Renting is different. Renting a house. Getting a healthcare card, visiting a doctor, everything is different. And in the middle of that, we were trying to look for jobs too. So it wasn't because of financial reasons.

Like we came over with savings. we'd been saving for about two years before we came, just so that we wouldn't completely stress out once we got there. We could take our time. But this was 2009. So it was in the middle of the global financial crisis and we didn't realize until we got to Toronto, but the job market was pretty tough, especially for people like me who work in intermediate level marketing positions. Luckily, my husband is in IT and was able to find a job within two months, but I had a lot of issues with recruiters. And honestly, it was awful. They would look at me with pity in their eyes and they told me that even though I had 10 years of progressive work experience in that field in Australia

and I was qualified, I didn't have any Canadian experience. So they didn't trust me. And my best bet would be to start from entry level again or offer to work for free to prove my abilities. And it wasn't just me that they were saying this to. I was on the networking trail with a bunch of other immigrants and most of them were people of color and they were all being told the same thing too. And what I realized was that it was kind of a catch-all for Canadian recruiters who were just sick of immigrants coming over and trying to get jobs. And they were just used. this, you don't have Canadian experience thing as an excuse. So anyway, months went by where I was at home during the day by myself with no purpose other than looking for a job and getting constant

rejections that I could not understand from these recruiters. So needless to say, it took a major toll on my mental health and I was having like a lot of anxiety attacks. So as I was approaching the four-month mark after we moved to Canada, I started thinking, like, I can't deal with this much longer. This Canadian experience thing is absolute bullshit. And the job hunt and the continuous rejections and demeaning comments had really kind of chipped away at my professional self-esteem. And I knew that I had value in Australia. I mean, I'd just come from working at one of Brisbane's largest universities. So I told my husband that if things were still like this in two months, so after a full six months in Canada, I was ready to move back to Australia.

Like, I don't have to put up with their shit. But then I found two super nice recruiters who gave me a big confidence boost. And they saw past the whole Canadian experience thing. And one of them ended up getting me my first job in Canada, which I ended up staying in for 10 years with that company. That was the company that I just resigned from earlier this year. And I have to tell you, there is no difference between working in an Australian office and working in a Canadian office. And the thing that I love the most about my company is that they did employ a lot of new immigrants to Canada who hadn't gotten a job here yet.

And I have to tell you, I worked with so many people of color from different cultures. And people assimilate just fine. There is nothing about Canadian culture that's so prestigious that recruiters, should be using that as an excuse. Like I said, that was 10 years ago. I sure as hell hoped that they're not doing that anymore, but I wouldn't be surprised if they still are. It's sad. So all this to say, yes, it was an adjustment. And I'm so, so, so glad to be here. And my husband and I are so happy to be Canadian citizens. We've got Canadian kids, a Canadian dog. We've kind of made a success out of this move, but I'm not sure I could go through all of that again. I have no plans to move country again. It's just so hard.

So unless something unforeseen happens, we plan on staying here forever. Caitlin asks, what is the strangest thing about Canada that you still can't get over all this time later? I mean, there's a few things. The first one is milk bags. I used to think that milk bags were a Canadian thing, but I found out that Ontario, the province that I live in, is one of the main provinces or territories in Canada that uses milk bags. And for those of you that don't understand what I'm talking about, we buy milk in bags here. So you buy a big plastic bag and inside it are three smaller bags that are full of milk. So each of the smaller bags is about a liter, I think. So you have to open the big bag and then you have to pull out one of the little bags and then, you know, I

it kind of slips and slides all over the place and then like jimmy it into a jug, a plastic jug, and then like cut the end and then you kind of pour it out. So there's a plastic bag of milk sitting in a plastic jug and then you pour it in hope that the milk doesn't go everywhere. And I know that they have two litre cartons of milk here in Ontario, but they're pretty expensive. And so we just keep buying these milk bags and I still hate them 11 years later. I'm like, why the hell is milk being sold in plastic bags? It's the weirdest thing. And I would love to know the story behind it.

So if anyone knows, feel free to reach out. The second thing that is strange about Canada that I can't get over is why do Canadians always have to put the maple leaf on everything? Even on brands that originate from other countries like McDonald's, Canada has to put a tiny maple leaf in the middle of the giant. M. It's like, we get it. We're in Canada at McDonald's. I just, it's not like Australia puts like a little kangaroo in the M of the McDonald's or like New Zealand puts a Kiwi. I don't understand. I think it's the only country that has some kind of addition to the logo. And yeah,

you come here and all you see is just maple leaves everywhere. Like walls have maple leaves. Like so many businesses have incorporated a maple leaf into their logo, including me. So, yeah, I don't really have any excuse about that. But I've found businesses that really have nothing to do with Canada incorporating the maple leaf into their logo, like a fencing company, you know, it's just so strange. And the last thing is the national Canadian drink, which is called the Caesar. And like people who are not from Canada are just going to be like, what the hell is this thing? So it's basically, it looks like tomato juice, but it's clamato juice, which I believe is like a cross between tomato juice and clam juice. So it's like a fishy tomato

drink. And then you drink it with like celery sticking out and spicy salt on the rim of the glass. And then they put like some kind of alcohol in it. I mean, yeah, no, I just don't get it. I think it's like the equivalent of veggie mite to Canadians is what a Caesar would be like to me. Caitlin also asks, what's your favorite part about Canada? Well, obviously, it's Tim Horton's. I'm just kidding. Look, I know it's a Canadian institution and the place is serviceable. The dark roast is acceptable at least when you're in desperate need of a morning coffee.

and the donuts are good and cheap. I had one at the bottom of my work building in Toronto, and I swear I was down there every single day. And if we're talking about my favorite part of Canadian culture, it's kind of weird because it's now been 11 years since we moved here, and I'm finding that my knowledge of Australian culture is becoming outdated now, if we're talking about kind of a comparison. But one thing that is my favorite thing about, Canada when compared to Australia is the way that the changing of the seasons here in Canada impacts our culture and the look of things, the decor and the things that we do. So as a comparison between Brisbane, Australia, where I'm from, and here in the Greater Toronto area of Canada,

where we live, there was a massive difference. I don't ever remember much change between the seasons in Brisbane other than it was hot in summer and cold. in winter. But here, like when it's spring, everyone's planting new flowers in their gardens. All the trees are blossoming. It's nice and warm. And then it's summer, which is my least favorite season. But we're getting out and about and enjoying the weather and the greenery because we know that it's not going to last and we're enjoying not having to shovel our driveways when it snows. And then it comes fall or autumn and the leaves on the trees start changing to the most beautiful shades of red and orange and that's when culturally we all get our pumpkins out, we go to pumpkin

farms and then we can start wearing boots and cardigans and trench coats and then all of a sudden it's Halloween. And Halloween wasn't a big deal when we left Australia. In fact, I think I got one fake trick or treat, but that's it. But I think things are starting to change because Australia has always followed American culture. So from what what I see on Facebook from my old friends, it seems like kids are going trick or treating and getting dressed up now. So here in Canada, that's a big thing. Unfortunately, I don't think we'll be trick or treating this year. I don't know what's going to happen with that. But after that, there's winter. And here in Canada, that inspires both dread and wonder. So the dread is obviously the

shoveling of the driveway and the snowstorms, which happen when you have to go somewhere. And then There's the old yucky snow by the side of the road that ends up all black with cigarette butts and garbage, which I like to call the dark side of snow. But the amazing part is when the snow has just come down and I'm watching my dog, Bruce, rolling around in the fresh, soft snow and I'm seeing the kids throwing the snow at each other. It's just four completely separate seasons with different activities and it's really great. And we've loved going hiking since, COVID-19 happened. And quite honestly, we can go to the same trail four times a year in the middle of each season and the trail will look completely different every single time. So to me,

that is pretty amazing. Athena asks, how did you decide which part of Canada to live in? So it was either Vancouver or Toronto. And the year before that we actually moved here, so 2008, we traveled over here to kind of check the place out. Because my husband, husband had never been to Canada. So he wanted to move to a place that he had never been to just based on a feeling. So we decided to go there and check it out and we turned it into kind of a holiday. Australians love to do these holidays where they take off for like six weeks and they do like America and Canada and Europe and you get all this time off work. It's what we have to do because Australia is an island and to go anywhere, you're looking at least two days

of travel and transit time. So you're really got to make the most of it. So we decided that while the scenery in Vancouver was far superior to Toronto, sorry Toronto, we decided that we would rather deal with the snow in Toronto than the rain in Vancouver. And we live on the west of Toronto, which is about 45 minutes to drive into the city and it's only about an hour to Niagara Falls the other way. So it's very, very convenient. Julie, how's your mental health? I received quite a few comments after my last intro. Thank you all so much. I mentioned my mental health struggles right now and I wanted to spread the message that if you're feeling the same, you're not alone. And I wanted to encourage everyone to consider getting help and taking care of ourselves a bit better. So many of you reached out to me and said that the intro resonated with you and I'm so glad to hear that. So to update, as I said in the last intro, I've been seeing a therapist and I've now had a few one-hour sessions with my online therapist and she's confirmed that many people are feeling the same way right now.

I am telling you guys, this mental health situation is going to be big and it's not going away anytime soon. So I guess what I realized was that in order to move forward and to be highly productive again because I was feeling very bogged down, I needed to accept that this is the way that life is now and try and make the best of it. Now, I've never had therapy before in my life. I've always just kind of relied on medication to help and it always has. But sometimes it's not just a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected. It's an actual pandemic. This is a pandemic. And if you're not feeling anxious or a bit depressed, then you're one of the lucky ones.

ones, I guess. But my counselor has been super helpful and one of the ways that she has helped has been with motivation. So I've been really stressed about what's going on in the world, not just with COVID, but with everything else. And it's been hard to kind of harness my thoughts and to focus and to concentrate. My brain was basically all over the place. So she gave me a couple of strategies to help with motivation that I thought might be helpful for those of you who might be feeling the same. So she told me that it's a myth that you just need to wait for motivation to hit you. You actually have to activate it. So what she said to me was you just have to like acknowledge that yep, I'm feeling unmotivated and flat, but I'm going to write a list of things that I have to do

today. And even though I'm not feeling it, I'm just going to do it. And then set aside one to three hours to focus and then she told me to set up your work environment like set yourself up for success in every way possible so get a tea or a coffee make sure there's water i am recording out of the basement still but i'm doing the writing and researching part in my bedroom which is usually dark because i'm pretty lazy with making beds or opening the blinds so now i'm making sure that those blinds are open and i've always got headphones on obviously so my counselor said instead of trying to find the right playlist to listen to, try out white noise. Yeah, like you put on for your baby. So it could be like the sound of a fan or rain on the rooftops and they have all kinds of white noise

tracks on Spotify or YouTube. Just look up white noise. Right now, what is really helping me to focus is listening to the sounds of nature. So like creeks, rivers and forests. It really helps me focus and just kind of get into the moment of a task. And then the next thing is to log out of all my social medias, so there's no distractions, and make sure that the current tab I'm working on is full screen so I'm not tempted by the 40 or 50 other tabs that I inevitably always have opened.

In fact, it could be more than that, don't judge. And of course, silence my phone. Mine isn't even in the room with me. Don't check your emails. And if you work outside of the home office situation, I'm sorry, I can't give you specific examples there because I just don't know, but it's the same sort of thing. You have to consciously set up your work environment for success. So yeah, the advice I'm giving you is basically just the Nike slogan, just do it. It's not groundbreaking. And it just sounds like common sense,

I know, but honestly, I've been needing to do something, anything that might have a positive effect on my mental health and get me working again and being productive. And I thought there's no harm here. I'm open to anything. So if you've been lacking in motivation, may as well give this a go. The steps are write a list of your tasks and set aside a few hours to focus and set up your work environment, lighting, water, snacks, white noise, whatever you need. Log out of socials, full screen your tab, get rid of your phone for a while, just can't hurt to give it a try. Sarah asks, I'm just wondering if you've found a way to lower your anxiety. So the depression and the lack of motivation is one thing, but the anxiety is another.

And at the moment, it's always there because I'm finding every week, sometimes every day, there is something new, some new development that keeps me up at night, from the pandemic, to all the protests to right now it's all about back to school issues. So what I do find gives me a temporary boost to my mood is being out in nature. And this is quite a thing for me to say because I've always been an indoor girl. I don't like being in the sun much. I burn very easily and I've never tanned. And extended exposure to direct sunlight really gives me a headache. So traditionally I have not been drawn to outside activities unless it was something that I had to do for the kids. So what me and my family have been doing is going on weekly hikes to these conservation areas

here in Holton where we live. And we've been hiking through forests and around lakes and up to lookouts. And it's been amazing to just get out of all the bullshit and appreciate all that nature has to offer. You know, calming creeks, gorgeous waterfalls. And then being in a forest, the trees provide the right amount of shade while also letting some sunlight in, which gives me that boost of vitamin D, which also helps mental health. I've also been doing yoga, which is not only great for physical health, but it also kind of incorporates meditation and visualization at the end. So that really helps to get you in a good mindset. But a big issue for me, and I'm sure for many of you, is lack of sleep. Whether it be like me,

where it's taking hours to get to sleep or those of you who wake up and can't get back to sleep, this is a huge issue right now with everything we have going on and all of the things that are on our minds. So I did find, this is so stupid, I cut off caffeine from about 5pm and that made a big difference. So no more after dinner coffee or strong tea. It's just herbal teas at night and that's really kind of helped. Well, that's about. it, guys, if you're a patron or a subscriber, there's an extended version of this Q&A where I answer every single one of your questions. For those interested, you can visit Canadian Truecrime.ca slash support to see the options. So, as promised, I'll be back on

October 1st with the first episode of the next season. And it's a doozy. Thank you all so much for your support and your patience. I'll see you in a few weeks.