Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 116: TANA’S HORROR STORY MIAMI TRIP… - Ep. 115

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

On this episode of the Cancelled Podcast, we reflect on a chaotic trip to Miami a funny social media encounter with Zach Bryan and excitement for our upcoming tour. Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A Produced by: https://instagram.com/oscaralva

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge then mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming ontario hello and welcome back to the cancelled podcast remember when we paid like upwards of twenty thousand dollars for a studio and it's like done and we just keep coming here and it's like rotting at my house yeah i don't know why actually we're here and do you you know the other thing that i think is funny about that is that like we're on tour for like the like why did we build a studio in my house at least we're not renting it yeah but like we could i guess we also didn't really realize how nice it was to do it from here until we were already in the building process other than the ghost it's like you know yeah no

ghost at tana's home studio but also no tana and brooke so yeah and it's just it's just sitting there like it's a fully done studio we just keep shooting here there's more space here i didn't really think out how small that room is like i know well i think it's definitely fine it's fine for a podcast studio but there's no like viewing area there's no friends which is probably good yeah i'm doing this the whole time zach bryan blocked you but you don't want to talk about that and it was like way longer she was like we i was casually mentioning that in conversation earlier and tana demanded that i say i just think it's crazy that

zach bryan blocked me and like i get it sometimes you're just killing it like she was like just telling the room and i was like yes bitch like well it just feels like really like like what's the like i was gonna say no but why are you are you saying no? I feel like you blocked me. What did I do? Yeah, you were just like, how lucky are we? I hadn't like, yeah, it was pretty crazy. I mean, maybe I was slandering him online. That could have been. Were you? No, I feel like he bought some Clinton said anything. He got some like Clinton strop. No, like, oh, we'll put you in the lying artist bucket we might still stream now and again but yeah you know and then yeah it was it was a mess but what the fuck like he blocked me i literally have like coronavirus i don't have covid actually i shouldn't just say that like don't say that like why i don't have covid what happened i'm really fucking sick i i literally like i feel like old me would have canceled the whole day today, but I decided not to. I respect that about you.

You know what I mean? I decided to just, you know, raw dog it through life. I got back from Miami. I had a lot of stripper ass in my face and I think I caught something. Don't blame them. Well,

there was a lot of like hole in my face. Like I'm not even kidding. Whose fault is that? Me? I was loving it. I was loving it. I love strippers and but now i'm just i'm sick as fuck and like the energy i'm almost bringing to the podcast

today feels like old canceled when i'd come on like hungover and like nothing to lose like take me out now like that's how i feel for today's episode i love that but you know it's crazy i think about that sometimes because we used to always do canceled either hungover or drunk or usually both and like lash on the cheek like i used to show up to like my own podcast so fucking beat so fucking ugly yeah brooke i'll like see a clip and it's like maybe maybe some bronzing drops i should have stayed away from the bronzing drops the contour everything and i had a white claw on each hand it was a mess but maybe that's why we were more fun then yeah and then just podcasting blacked out is so funny to think about now because it's like anything that's coming

out of your mouth tana shouldn't be right but you know what you live and you learn i'm like so delirious pseudofed it out like i'm like pseudofed like is like crazier than like molly to me i don't even know if i've tried molly but no pseudo fed is fucking meth that's why they make you show your id because you can make meth with pseudo fed really yeah that's why they make you show your id i think i could just be making that up but i've heard that a lot in life i love spreading misinformation there's one thing about me is i'm gonna come on this podcast and spread misinformation speaking of that i saw this clip the other day of us just butchering every international name. And by us, I kind of mean me.

No, I have one I cannot say. Belfast. Belfast. Let me see it. Let me go. I saved it. I also can't say Wilshire. I say Wilshire.

I prefer Wilshire. I was on Wilshire today. I know you can't say on Ontario at all what is it Ontario but so much um hubbub has been made about it that I don't know which it is I don't know what you say void in Ontario which makes me think it is Ontario I don't know why but drug and alcohol helpline in the top corner Amish Aaron just looking up Sudafed used to make crystal meth and like getting paid the big bucks for it is so funny to me. Drugs.ie Wait, but did you have fun in

Miami at least? Brooke Amber Schofield. My sweet sweet princess fucking angel. Okay, and I'm sure there's a Miami that I've never tapped into. Okay, I'm sure there's a little dock by the water and there's a fucking hotel cute

little you know white sand vibes but like I obviously went to the Miami that I once loved I went into the Miami that I would once do on 2cb and no sleep and that Miami you know I truly like throughout it too I feel like most things my takeaway is like wow this is better sober life is amazing sober and my takeaway from that was like i would need to relapse in order to enjoy this shit like just the bus another club another club bus fucking energy of miami it was like i landed oh my god a dinner and then like the next day i get up i did a club appearance for like four hours i met like 400 fans mind you all of the fans were using the the my club appearance as a pre-game to go to ultra miami oh so everyone's bedazzled out like i'm gonna shit myself right now like actually but

the bathroom smells like dead body so i have to hold it and i'm just farting but at least am i gonna shit myself are you gonna shit yourself i'm gonna shit myself wait put your put your sweatshirt down at least these are white and nice chairs in fact let me get my shoe i think i'm okay but like oh my god that was like the closest call i've ever had on the camp be careful because sometimes it's you really just don't know and i you know i shit myself pretty recently. Well, don't, don't test it. It's a lot of cold medicine and a lot of cold brew and a lot of, it'll go right through you. But if there's one thing about us is we're going to make this about shitting ourselves somehow. Dude, I'm so sorry.

Like, it's just like, I'm sorry. It's okay. Oh, and that bathroom smells like body. Dead, like carcass. like body Dead Like carcass It does smell like carcass I don't know I forgot what we were talking about We were talking about

The club appearance They were pre-gaming before Oh yes So they used They say I don't listen to you So they were using They were using it As a pre-game for Ultra

So it was just You know Jaws swinging in the best way We had a great time But then it was like Dinner And like no dinner in Miami Is giving dinner

It's giving my hotel the nobu hotel you've been there with me you know it's it's kind of weirdly for being on miami beach kind of peaceful kind of nice it's miami music week so there's john summits in the fucking lobby people are getting wheelchaired out of the lobby jaw swinging swinging, bedazzled. I went to the strip club. Then I had a yacht day with the Bop House. I came back like, oh my God. And the Fort Lauderdale airport leaving was a hellscape. Like it was so, every single flight was delayed. I've never looked at a monitor and seen that like that. And people were just crawling on all fours like in the fucking airport like a woman commented on my tiktok and said one time i had a layover in the fort lauderdale airport and i saw a woman

giving birth and i just i really like that really resonated with me because that's how it felt it felt like someone was about to give birth at any moment like it was just it was 100 degrees in the airport i didn't get home till 3 a.m we were stuck on the tarmac like it just and then now i have swine flu and i just never want to fucking go back there i don't care that it's on a beautiful beach miami is a hellscape i know i you know what i'm sorry that that happened to you but i had like i knew before you were like i'm so excited to go to miami i'm going to the bop house i'm like oh i think i've seen yeah and it's like I made a great video and there were glimpses of a good time like I love J-Rod and Makoa and Ashley and like you know I

had a oh he's fucking calling me it's like fucking call him to kick rocks Phyllis um I had glimpses of a good time and like like I said there's definitely a Miami I love the bops they're all so sweet it's so funny though I hadn't there's definitely a Miami. I love the bops. They're all so sweet. It's so funny though. I hadn't been in like a content house environment since my team 10 days and it's like truly like just so much.

We should. They have like scandals during the day and all the things. I know what you want and should and I don't want to. That could have been so fun.

I actually would have loved to go to the bop house. I think I would have really had fun there. I want to just observe. I like to know about things that I wouldn't normally know about.

We were on a boat. I didn't go to the b house so i had a bot boat day on a pop boat yeah and it honestly like they're all just very sweet like and just like you know like they're camilla and i really catch a vibe because she's kind of like brash like me but like the rest of them are just very like sweet little nice girls like i was like aw. That's how they get paid the big bucks. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry that you didn't have a good time or you did have a good time. You had concepts of a good time. I had concepts of a good time.

Okay. I had concepts of it. You ate with that. Never mind. Anyway. You feel like you were having a good time. You said something that reminded me of something that I want to talk about. And I think that you're not going to let me.

I know. Didn't you? I already knew. I just tried to shut it down like mid-sentence like four ago. I know. But you think I could bring it up again? I mean, like, try. Paul American.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh. What did you think I was going to bring up? Well, you go. Or Jake Paul's engagement? You go. Oh, and he said for real this time he what you didn't see he said what yes he posted he posted his engagement and he put for

real this time you didn't know that the ghost just moved that off the table did anybody see the ghost move my lip liner off the table or was that just and it's every time we're talking about jake paul the ghost wait am i making that up or i thought that was yeah can you find out if you're making that up yeah he did he posted caption for real this time wait oh he changed it look it says the original caption here it says for real this time sad eyes or like cry eyes engagement ring but then when you click the video it says we've come a long way jig paulers meet my fiance so maybe it's a glitch but are you you see that right i'm writing a book and i just like anything i don't know i feel like I'm gonna save anything I would say right now for that I it's like I tried to watch the show I I think like the show is definitely gonna be

entertaining I I want to watch the show I will say that see I it's like I keep going to try to respond to you because I have responses but then I'm just imagining me in one day saying Oscar cut that so I'm trying to think of anything I won't cut you're right i guess we can skip over it no because like you're providing amazing podcast content i think that i'm happy yeah like yeah i think we should have a show though they should give us a show slightly smaller budget i was driving the other day well i wasn't driving and i looked up and just saw pam stepnick jake's mom like on a billboard all big and i was was like, no fucking shit. Yeah, I'm happy for everyone involved. I do want to watch Paul American.

I think just his parents are a hoot. Logan's, I really like, I hate to love Logan. You know what I mean? I just like. I feel like you, like, I feel like you and Logan Paul would be best friends. Like you guys are similar i don't know how to explain i really like i do i just have a lot of respect for logan paul i like honestly the pauls in general just how much money they make like how did you fucking do that also i have

been low on electrolytes recently and prime has been saving me well brooke why don't you just fucking dye your hair blonde and get on a flight to Puerto Rico it is no but like dead ass like I do want to watch it I think that family's like made for reality television and I'm super happy I just like anything I'm saying right now I'm already seeing the clips and it's giving me anxiety and I don't know I think I have too many thoughts sometimes to make them concise and I'm excited for my book but truly I am happy for Jake and happy that he's happy. You had a story to tell me? I wanted to talk about our mispronunciations.

I'm sorry. No, I think you were right. What were we mispronouncing? We're saying chav wrong. Chav. Chav? Maybe we're saying it in American. No, it's chav.

Chav check. Yeah, that checks out. I think it's chav. I don't yeah that checks out i think it's chav i don't it's whatever too hard you sent me a tiktok the other day that actually had me fucking spiraling spiraling stage no no no no we should well chav chav this woman there's a woman out there jessica wetz who had the fucking time she had the time like big ben okay where she took every clip of me on the podcast talking about every ailment i've ever had and then diagnosed me with a syndrome called ellers donlos and mind you this syndrome has the average lifespan of 48 okay and i open up the tiktok comments and someone just said if tana saw this edit of herself i think it would put her in a coma and you decided to send it right into my phone at the off chance that i have it this is a life-saving

thing yeah you're welcome for bringing it to your attention what do you mean like my feet are big and my scoliosis and my alcoholism and my urinary incontinence like all tied together to a syndrome that's gonna make me live to only 48 and why am i being tagged in that you know what similarly to the hayley bieber situation i think a lot of that is just coincidence okay i i'm gonna like hope and agree with that but you should have seen me next to makoa he he had to talk me off a ledge well i'm sorry for sending it to you but to honest, this girl has been at it for a long time. She's been making videos about this specific topic for probably like two years. And maybe she's right.

Maybe. Well, I've never even heard of it, so I think she's making it up. No, but what's the... It's called... Like, what do you do? Is it treatable? It's a lack of collagen,

which maybe could make sense as to why I look 53. You don't look 53. Even if I do have it, it's like, I want to know about it later. I have an uncle who has cancer and he just was like, no, I don't. And then he just moved on. That's so, it's so funny because I'm so medically paranoid, but then I do not want to know slash like will not do anything about something. So it's like, what, what kind of battle, what kind of fucking super smash bros is happening with my chemicals?

Really like a common thing. But you know what we should do that people just started doing is that like prenuvo thing where you can like people always say like if I or if I was rich, like you wouldn't know it, but there would be signs like the number one thing is like I would get a full body CT. They offer that now. You can just go in spend like I, I mean, honestly, a lot of money, but you can get a full CT scan and you can know every single possible thing. But I just get just the midsection. And I'm like, I don't think anything's going on in these legs.

So I might as well just. Oh, I got some Disney knees. So I mean, shit, I probably have to go full body. But like, no, no, no. OK, I mean, I'd go with you. Like I'd hold your hand while you did it and then be like oh shit well i just think like how cool is that like i just know i wouldn't come back with a clean bill of health and what a new list of problems but well you're right you know what let me just shut the fuck up no like you have a point brooke what did you text me the other day to do for the patreon

reformer pilates yeah i thought it could be fun we're trying new things for the patreon the way that they would probably put my alcoholism shakes to shame like i can't even imagine the way i'd be on that reformer i'm down no i just think your commentary would be so funny because even i the whole time i'm like i have to like depend on humor to like not be embarrassed and so i saw your video of you with the little bar and you were being really funny it's just so hard that's good though that you're like cracking jokes i think i just wouldn't even be funny i would be just really fucking mean you're always funny what the fuck speaking of looking 58 which we weren't anymore i am getting extreme surgery day after tomorrow this is your eyelids last canceled podcast.

This is the last you're going to see of these droopy fucking eyelids. Okay. I love that you're just collecting surgeries like infinity stones. And I'm so fucking. I got one boob job. That was my first surgery ever. I'm so jealous though. Like it's funny because we were just debating Coachella a bunch, Brooke and I.

And then we like found out that a house was like $17,000 for Coachella. She's like, will you go in on it with me? You'd only have to pay like 6K. I'm like, no. No, I watched her over the course of talking about it. At one point, you were like, I'd rather get a surgery. And then you were like, I'd rather get a surgery. And talked yourself out of Coachella and getting plastic surgery instead,

which I think is so camp. Someone needs to write a song about that. Well, it was like if I could get it done in that time frame that's what i wanted to do because i wanted to have it done before you're up it's something i've wanted for so long it's not like a crazy surgery at all it literally takes like 30 minutes tops you're you can be awake when you like you do it we were supposed to interview bad baby 12 hours after brooke's surgery and brooke's like don't move it i'm down like I think you think you're just gonna come off this anesthesia and like do a cartwheel first of all I got a boob job and I

was doing the YMCA I felt amazing this is way way way less invasive it's just I'm just not that kind of person I guess that's why I can't wrap my head around it like what do you mean the day after plastic surgery you're ready to rumble it's not like a crazy thing it's just basically I've hooded eyes okay and it didn't used to bother me that much but like as i've aged and lost weight and like just like my eyes are getting droopier and droopier and i stopped being able to wear eyeliner which to most people who the fuck cares but i care i love eyeliner and i can't wear it and i just get frustrated when i do my eyeshadow because it never looks right and i watch this back and i'm like gosh like i just wish i didn't have those eyelids anymore but don't you think it kind of gives like and I just get frustrated when I do my eyeshadow because it never looks right. And I watch this back and I'm like, gosh,

like I just wish I didn't have those eyelids anymore. But don't you think it kind of gives like Basset Hound? I'm just kidding. No, that's exactly why I'm getting surgery on Thursday. I'm actually just joking. I just wanted to say the words Basset Hound. No, I'm kidding. And I'm preparing for people to be like,

you're so ridiculous, horrible. No, I think if you want something, you get it. And you know, that's how I fucking feel. I just think you would be so. Okay. They are exactly giving Bassett Hound. They are. Remember Joshua Bassett?

Is he dead? He's not dead. I got my driver's license last week. But a lot more people have this surgery than you think have this surgery. I know. I feel like I'm always hearing a girl just be like, I'm going to Pilates and then community goods and then I'm getting my bleph done. Well, it's like one of the most like not undetectable surgeries, but like it's hard to like really

put your finger on it when you see somebody like all of a sudden looking like more refreshed and younger and whatever. And nobody talks about it because you can actually look completely normal in seven days. So no one's going to tell you they got it done. You're welcome for being so transparent. But really, I'm doing it because, like, I have to have stitches, like, probably in the next episode. And, like, what am I going to do?

No, I think that's everything. And I think your transparency is everything. You are right. Like, I feel like so many people I know have it. So you being honest is a slay. And, like, listen, I, too, if I could get the, like, head out the window in the wind smack pack right now like this I don't know why you think you need that but

if you do feel like you need that I have an amazing surgeon to recommend doctor get that free bleph girl come on what's his fucking name i'm about to say a different surgeon that i want to work with i'm gonna sound like such a sellout right now but like i genuinely like the same doctor that did my boobs dr daniel barrett in beverly hills dr daniel bassett hound

he's just he was so amazing I had such a good experience. He just did also my friend's tummy tuck. It's just me. He's had three children. Oh, wow. So it's not like, I don't just have friends out here like getting tummy tuck. What would be wrong with having a friend getting a tummy tuck? I don't know.

You made it sound like. I'm next. I thought you were laughing at me. No. Anyway, I'm going to Dr. Daniel Barrett in Beverly Hills. He is one of the best in the business. World renowned. One time he saved me from a burning building. We're laughing, but he is world renowned. Are you going to keep them? Can I wear them like little earrings? People do that for, well, I don't know if they do that actually, but who do labia plasties keep their lips i just always see tiktoks of like the aftermath and i'm just like on the table after i have two things to tell you about this particular topic which do you want first

i don't know the topics okay i'm assuming one is labia related neither oh one of them is labia related okay i have what i consider the most important purchase of 2020 most important labia no but that too okay my favorite purchase so far of 2025 we are in april is my new wide gusset. Your new what? Wide gusset camel toe proof chonies. What's a gusset? I'm crying again. What's a gusset?

I don't know. What's a gusset? I don't know. What's a gusset? I don't know. It's like wider because sometimes when you're walking and there's like a lip on each side of your choney uh-huh i don't know why they're out to here no i feel you it feels like that yeah and you're flossing and i'm like god yeah so i was looking into like what can be done for that obviously because i've been having like i put you in a patient group chat one time and i was like i ran into you guys at the grove and i was like i actually had to leave

the grove because I was like literally getting flossed to death. Like it was like it wasn't even OK. I get it. I really do get it. And like I'm wearing regular underwear. Like I don't understand how people are doing it. Like maybe it's like sometimes I feel like I have to like readjust a lip like the way

men readjust their like. Yeah. But like once you do it once, it's like it'll never be right again. It's like it's only right the first time I place them. And after that, they're just like getting tied in. It's a whole thing. So if you have a wide gusset. You better put this shit on your Amazon storefront.

If you have common camel toes, I would highly recommend this purchase. I think I just searched camel toe free. Okay, but it's important to know. So is it like a sports cup? Like we're almost like I'm playing softball as a man. It's essentially like a cardboard triangle in my underwears. Wait. In my underwear.

And it's not. I feel like if I was walking around with a piece of cardboard in my underwear, I could come from that. Shut up. You haul haul i didn't see that anywhere in the reviews i just know i don't have a camel toe right now and i'm really happy about it so it's like your cup like how men have like a cup in sports well it's like if i'm wearing like i wear leggings a lot now so i think that's what made me like hyper aware of it too is like wait something's wrong and so you just have like a

little gift card inserted in there yes and and because of it i look like i have just like the fucking just like i look like i just it's amazing anyway that was number one i can't wait to try it no because i put on something the other day i don't want to leave you hanging no pun intended on what you're saying right now because i really did put on something the other day and i was like big pussy like i'll try it it's really good like i don't know i've never heard anyone talk about it that much except for like chloe kardashian she says she has a wide gusset as well wide gusset is just like so wild i literally don't know know what gusset is. Can we get a dictionary definition on gusset, please?

Okay, I don't like the picture that they're showing. Oh. A piece of material. I don't have the gusset. The chonies have the gusset. Oh. A piece of material sewn into a garment to strengthen or enlarge a part of it. Look at that photo with the jeans. That's how I was feeling for a second there.

Oh my god, Brooke. Wow. Shout out to gussets. Should that be our next merch item? Like canceled gusset? We can just make sweats with an extra wide gusset. Yes. And I'm into that.

Or leggings. Because I did have like a big mama drama situation in our yap. But that's because I was wearing 3X and it's like figure that out, you know? Well, that was my first one. And then my second one, we were talking about labioplasty on the table. Okay. That's what made me think of this. And this is my story that I've been dying to tell you.

She has told me like 17 times this week that she has a story for me. Okay. Well, your expectations are probably up here. I mean, you need to bring them down here. But I think that almost makes it funnier. I, as you know, at least once every couple every couple weeks mouse has a trip to the hospital for eating a foreign object brooks new bit has been sending me photos of mouse's puke no invisible ink i get it you want me to be a part of the journey well i wanted you to know what he was

throwing up which is why i had to re-gift my rug amari came up on a three thousand dollar rug because mouse is hungry yeah and i lost three thousand dollars anyway he ate the rug so we took him to the hospital except this time he has a normal hospital and i know like i hate to even talk about it because it sounds like i like i'm just a neglectful parent but like he eats everything okay this time no when i come over to your house mouse is like spider pig yeah he i think he has pica which is like where you eat like non-food items have you seen that movie where the girl eats the marble i keep telling you to watch it no but i have seen my strange diction when people are eating like sheets of paper i think he has that because he eats like you know let me just show you what he ate today i bought a nice new

fleece he ate a hole in it and ate it's not like he like oh he bit a hole in it he ate the whole thing that's beside the point he went to the hospital and his normal hospital was they had like a seven hour wait and so they recommended us to another hospital that was in santa monica okay and i show up to this hospital no wait first of all 10 out of 10 and they they go come right on over here i hope you don't mind we have an open concept hospital i go what does that mean i round the corner there's a cat here cut open sliced open feet in stirrups a dog over here cut open sliced open they're playing like chapel roan it was the craziest thing i've ever seen and it was the middle of the night i was literally like what kind of domer shit right but it sounds really dark but it was

so cool to me because it was like first of all they were all like in really good spirits the vibes were high in there everybody's like very casual like it wasn't like nobody was dying didn't feel like anyone was dying but it was very like you know it's exhausting you sit and you wait for hours and hours and you sit and you stare at a wall and you're like, I'm doing nothing. How cool is it to be able to just you're in the waiting room, but there's a cat right here, like literally getting surgery. You want to see pictures? No.

Oh, I mean, like, OK. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I like don't want to. I mean, it's not it's not graphic. I guess I get what you're saying. It's like going to build a bear except it's like your furry friend. It's not like far enough away

and I'm sure it wasn't like... Bumping it with the stuffing. I'm sure they wouldn't do it if it was like a life-changing or like an emergency surgery or something. But I think like maybe... Oh, the way that you said cut open twice. Maybe they're getting like fixed

or like... I should have another thing. But I don't want to see like Red Rocket sliced like... No, it's far enough away where it's like not like Red Rocket sliced like salami. No, it's far enough away where it's not like you're all up in it. But it's like, wait, what? Open Concept Hospital. What the fuck though?

No, what the fuck? Hold on. It's so crazy. I was so, it was like really amazing. amazing and then the woman was too stunned to speak anyway i just thought that was the craziest thing imagine like humans had an open concept hospital like this has to be a violation of some sort of hippa but that wasn't even the craziest part we're sitting yeah like i'm imagining you like walk into theater cyanide for like a horse cough and then you see like old man getting catheter like look at this this cat like

it's cute but like it's making my ears hot so anyway you're not like close enough to like you're not all up in it or anything but like you can see what's going on it felt like you were at the emergency room and like and you knew what everybody was in for. I'm just like as a nosy person. I was I was just like, oh my God, this is like heaven. I guess that's fair. But it was never. I don't want to see a sick animal ever.

Yeah, obviously. But if if they're there, I want to know why they're there. Next thing I'm sitting there and we're like, oh my God, like how cute. There's another little cat because so far it was just dogs in here. my God, like how cute. There's another little cat. Cause so far it was just dogs in here. Okay. They go, Oh,

there's another little cat. I look over and there's a cat in a cage. Just, you've never seen anything like it. Like think like insane asylum, like so crazy banging its head on the walls. Like me in 2019. Like,

Oh, like how cute. But I'm looking at him. I'm like, I don't think he's supposed to be awake. And I'm like, like, I don't know but I'm looking at him I'm like I don't think he's supposed to be awake and I'm like like I don't know if I should say anything to anyone like they're doing surgery so like no one's really paying attention to me but I'm looking at this guy like I don't think that that's supposed to be happening and finally I build up the courage to

like go up to this that and I was like hey like is he supposed to be awake and the way they just went in they were like, no. And they run in there. He had pulled all of his lines out. He opened all his stitches up. He was like, it was like a whole thing. I'm like,

did I just? Yeah, you're living out your Ellen Pompeo fantasy. Yeah. New obsession. Unlocked, by the way, Ellen Pompeo.

Oh my God. New? Have you seen that show? Well, I've seen clips of it but i'm a gray's anatomy like super fan i haven't seen gray's anatomy but i'm gonna start it now because i'm loving her in good american family i hate to tell you this it gray's anatomy will ruin your life it takes years to finish it and you will never want to stop i think i want to start it because i'm loving her in this show oh she, she's everything in general. You need to watch.

Like, as a human and a person, like, she is one of the best people on the planet, but also just, like, what she did on Grey's was, like... And I always hear that. I just haven't had the time, or, like, I have trouble starting, like, seven-season shows.

Like, it's just like, oh, my God, what a commitment. Well, they just celebrated their 20th anniversary, so there's a lot more than seven seasons. Let me tell you. No way. There's probably 20-something seasons. That's that's wild i mean but she's killing it she like plays this is all based on a true story mom loves adopting kids like they're fucking

croissants lattes you know bringing them all in whatever they try to adopt a daughter they fail with the adoption i think the daughter has to get like amazon returned you know and then and then she they adopt another daughter named natalia grace who has dwarfism and then come to find out she's a little woman and like the orphan this is a true story right yeah i feel like they almost wrote the movie the orphan based on this story i don't know and like it like, it's so creepy. In the history of me and Makoa dating and watching shows, he's never once been like,

I won't watch this show with you until this show. He's like, the little woman freaks me out. Like, I don't want to watch it, but it's crazy. Yeah, I've seen clips of it. I really do want to watch it

because I just think she's amazing. Also, it's just crazy. I think it's crazy that she got on board for another series ever after Grey's Anatomy because she got locked into Grey's Anatomy

and she was never, and not that she wanted to leave, but like 20 20 years she's been only Meredith Grey and I don't think she could even hardly work on anything else ever and is it one of those things kind of like Michael C Hall where it's like he's not gonna go be someone else because he's Dexter yeah she's so Meredith Grey and like I don't think her character in this is like that far off from Meredith I haven't seen it so I don't know but she also you know that she's like she was making over a million dollars per episode because she like insisted that i hope i'm not messing this up but i think she like insisted that she be aware of what every single person was making on that show and at first um patrick dempsey was making more than her and the show's

literally called gray's anatomy yeah meredith gray yeah he was making more than her so she was like no and then when people obviously just up in arms about her making more money because she's a woman yeah and it was like a whole thing but damn hand me a scalpel and a concerned look well no okay yeah hold on hold on immediate retraction actually on that but i don't mean like i mean it's a shonda rimes show so i'm sure they were like more than happy to accommodate you've always we were somewhere somewhere and we were like an award show and she walked past us. Oh, the whole cast of Grey's Anatomy was at the People's Choice Awards. I was freaking out. She was the only one who wasn't there, though.

But it was like everyone. I need to get into it. I really do. You will love it, but it will ruin you. But I do love that. I love things that make me like sad. I'm naming. Mark my words right here.

I am naming my firstborn daughter after a woman on that show and which one i like i'm afraid to say because what if people are like i hate that name i mean trisha always talks about how everybody said that they hated the name elvis and everyone was like what about presley and she's she's like, fuck that. I love that. Okay, fine. I'm naming her after Arizona. I love that. There's so much lore there. You're from- It's not after Arizona, but I'm from Arizona. And I love, I remember hearing that was her name.

And I was like, oh my God, I love her. And she's just so cunty. She's gay. She has one leg. Like, I love her. I do. I just love her. I know.

It's just like that. I saw rainbows And like one Like my mental image Was just all over the place I wonder who you'll be in love with On Grey's Anatomy Let me predict the future

Really quick Okay Raven I think you might be A McSteamy type Ooh McSteamy sounds right Victor Amy is like the classic But McSteamy is the one

And one time He drove me home from Hyde You're cooking today and I love this. I love when you're like front seat and I'm back seat and just I'm like, go Brooke. I don't want to be in the front seat anymore. No, you're doing good. Wait, wait. What else do we have?

I thought I had something else important to tell you. Oh my, when I'm looking, have you, well now I'm just television show reviewing, but have you watched Severance? No. For the love of fucking god brooke please start it tonight i'm sorry no don't i mean now i just started adolescence last name it's probably good severance is the best television show i've ever watched in my entire life and i feel like you'll really get behind the innie outie concept what's that

supposed to mean oh nothing to do with labias okay everything to do with it's it's a mental thing i'm gonna make labia merch you really should even the other day we got a call into not loveline and the girl was just asking like what it any versus audi vagina like whatever and i was like i have like i i couldn't i had to answer it right but in my head i was like i just wish she understood with my digital footprint the way i've exhausted this ad nauseum like we became the labia well i have committee you know what i now keep talking about it yeah you should i love it you should make labia merch you should make merch in general i've been saying that no but severance sorry sorry i don't know why i have to keep bringing it back to my gusset it's's the best fucking show I've ever seen. And I don't even like want to go down the whole rabbit hole,

but I remember. Okay. Imagine every time you went into work, you clocked out of who you were on the outside. And then you became a completely different person who had no idea who you were. That's exactly what I do, by the way. It's just, it's this whole thing.

And I mean, I don't need to go down the complete tangent. I'm just, I guess I just really want to say the concept, I've never seen anything like it. Like, you're an innie

and then you're an outie. So like, when you come into work, you're an innie. And like, you don't know, you're like, you could have a whole kids

and a family on the outside and you don't know. You don't know? Yeah, like, it's like, you're two completely different people. And so,

it's kind of inhumane because the person on the inside, they just wake up every day and work. Like, let's say I got different people. Wait, is it? And so it's kind of inhumane because the person on the inside, they just wake up every day and work. Let's say I got hammered. My innie would have been mad hungover for two years straight and had no idea why. Really? Wait, God.

No, there is a show kind of like, or a movie kind of like this, the Don't Worry Darling. It is. Wow, I haven't thought about it like that. It is kind of similar to that. It's similar to that in that sense that the body's on the outside, but except it's like two functioning humans and then they start the innie start revolting against like one of the girls spoiler alert finds out that she's

never gonna leave here because that's all they know is just this office that they're clocking into every day so she tries to kill herself she's like fuck my audi like you know what i mean like you can't if you're gonna keep me here that i'm gonna kill you you know what i mean like and it's greatest finale in television history that's what i have been hearing so many things about i do need to watch it i just like you would love it you're so hell you are i don't even know what that means it's no it's just it's so good and i'm so marcus and we're in love on the inside honestly really yeah you need to watch it though you really fucking do Selena Gomez there's more there's more Anna Paul there's more oh that is crazy I'm like just now catching up on that and

I'm like whoa yeah no I just saw one of our interviews and I my favorite thing about you is you'll just you'll see a beef and you'll pick a side knowing nothing just like as a bit pick a side I made a I said like I get what she was saying saying like oh i feel broke like making a joke like i too feel broke not funny i haven't watched the whole series but as she was watching and i was having her give me the spark notes i only i watched the clips but they're really on it with the clips i feel like i've seen it all that's yeah that's how i feel i've been seeing so many clips mckayla also talks at an amazing pace not only that but she is brilliant with her words i feel like she's so smart and articulate and makes like, I just, I was like, wow, how did she put all of this together?

I had no idea. And obviously, I mean, she came out with her original video and then she showed up with the receipts. And I always respect a girl who shows up with the receipts. But the things Addis was doing to her are like prison. Yeah. Worse than awful. Like, and I would love to have her on canceled if we ever end up like maybe when we're in

Australia or something, I would love to have her on Cancelled if we ever end up, maybe when we're in Australia or something, I would love to just be any assistance and help in continuing to platform her. And I can't believe there's anyone. It's just like this. It's the thing that I'm always going to advocate for. Like the tale is all this time in the case of like,

oh, this girl has been a little wild or she has a PBL or this and that. So we're going to victim shame or blame. And it's just so wild to like see that because it's it is crazy and it's I hope Anna Paul never comes back from this it's like I have you seen what they're like that there's another sibling there's a third yeah and like what that just gives extreme narcissism like why are you hiding the dad even how are you out here I'm giving away this this and this and i'm gonna go to disneyland

i don't see that part you know i mean why are you trying weird foods in disneyland guam when like you have a dad who's door dashing for money yeah it just like pemdos i don't know it all feels really dark i think sometimes like i mean it happens a lot too where like the like i don't know it all feels really dark i think sometimes like i mean it happens a lot too where like the like i don't know what they call it like curtain gets pulled down or something but like when something seems like so happy and too good to be true and like just amazing and you're like oh my god i can't believe that like these amazing people have this amazing life and then it just turns out to be like so far from the truth but you know and how do you sleep at night putting on the like i love my fans act and then you're evil to them and like i don't even

even just like close that eyes thing like i don't even see it no she literally doesn't have them that's that's what makes it even like more wild but like just friends like that like people like i've been friends with people like that and it's so brutal like you just told me i had basset hound eyes not to take it there but you did i wasn't i just really wanted to say the words basset on i don't i've been like telling you i don't think you need the surgery but i also like nobody needs the surgery well some people do i guess if you can't see but i can see no but i mean like even just aesthetically when i look at you i think you're perfect but like i also i understand no but i know what you're saying it's just like it's it's so crazy i think the sly dig type of friend for it god i wish i remembered what

she called it but it's like like when somebody like gives you backhanded compliments or like has like really subtle ways of like putting you down over and over and over again to the point where you like just question everything about yourself i had never heard the word but i'll probably never hear it again because i forgot i went to a wedding while you were in miami it's so fun while you were telling the miami story i was like i had such an opposite experience well i would have much rather been at a wedding like the weddings are so fucking fun i love what this was my first time properly being a bridesmaid i had only been a bridesmaid one other time and it was a more Mormon wedding so i couldn't even go inside the temple but they make you be a bridesmaid and then stand outside yeah and wait till you find out I

had a short dress and it was the middle of winter in Portland Oregon anyway love her Jill um but this was my first time first of all I was a bridesmaid I've talked about this um before because obviously this is the bachelorette I'd been on and this was my best best best friend from college and she had 17 bridesmaids which is just like not i love that though very telling of like who she is she's very much like once she makes a friend she never ever ever is like not that person's best friend it's really like cool and special but the biggest and most beautiful extravagant wedding i've ever been to and it was so oh my god I was so emotional the whole time was it like tell me more things like I love hearing about like the planning or like little intricate details or like just like well first of all like what the coolest thing I thought

was like well just something I had never seen in a wedding before she did all white dresses for everybody so 18 of us were that also weirdly speaks to someone's character and in a very positive way like almost saying like I love these people so much that i want them to be included on you know it does it was very it's like a selfless thing to do but it was like the most beautiful like like bridgerton looking venue in dallas like i don't know if you saw my video but it's everything's green and white and pristine it was very i felt like very sorority about it i was like really like transported back into those days yeah but 17 of us getting ready all day putting like it just was so like i think it's really cool yeah too that because i don't know i feel like a lot of girls and their friend groups sometimes it's a competitive

nature it is like and there's nothing wrong with the bride wanting it to be all about them i'm not saying it like that but to almost center the vibe of your wedding around your girls is so beautiful even just i was watching something of chelsea just talking about how like the friendships that you have with your girls are so important like throughout your life and it or was it i don't know if it was chelsea i'm kind of in something else like sex in the city i don't know no but i know like it was like such a reminder of that i was like oh my god i love like i can't wait for this i don't know if i ever even would be interested in having a wedding but it was like so special it was like oh my god i love like i can't wait for this i don't know if i ever even would be interested in having a wedding but it was like so special i was like oh my god i want to get all my i just want to have a bachelorette party honestly but what's special

like not special but like they already have a baby they have a three-year-old kid asher and like they met in law school both of them were in law school and they got pregnant and had asher in law school oh that's crazy to pass the baby bar while you have a baby bar no they did they both like it was so crazy because she she was nine months pregnant still obviously in school they she had the baby and they were like the way they planned their schedules because they hadn't graduated yet so they would like like pass him off in the hallway after class like he she would go to criminal law and then hand him off and like he would go that is the craziest shit i've ever heard it's so cool but now they both pass the bar they're

both lawyers and like it's just like the coolest story ever and she deserves it so much it was just the best way that is everything and more wow that's crazy like the the fucking the dichotomy of our fucking lore of our fucking weekends it is well also like it was almost like so weird to be transported again back into that life because i'm like everyone around me i like what what life i live now versus then like i go back it's like one of us is it works in cyber security everyone's a lawyer they're environmental scientists icu nurse and you're posting a clip about squirting blue powerade with chelsea handler but iconic it was fun that is everything that makes me so that's so funny too as well because i felt like i was being transported back into a part of my life and

like again polar opposite like that is just so funny and a wedding is so just beautiful and there was babies everywhere and i was like i need this yeah did it like make you being i feel like mokoa right mokoa and i have not been to a wedding together yet and i feel like I need this yeah did it like make you being I feel like Makoa right Makoa and I have not been to a wedding together yet and I feel like it would like really make me like especially like a good wedding that I could like see myself wanting like oh my god I'd probably levitate no it was amazing I was it was more so being around all the little kids because like oh my gosh there was one little girl there she was she wore the same dress as us and she was the flower girl and like I I'm never around kids.

So I don't have like a good gauge. Like I see her and I'm like, she's a baby. And then she's like, I just saw Asher. He's in such a bad mood. Like she speaks in full like crazy sentences. And I'm like, you are three. Like, how are you doing that? I didn't know three-year-olds speak in full crazy sentences.

We should get a three-year-old on the mic. Like imagine like we had a guest but it was just a three year old. No she would. She was so it's just crazy like you're so amazed by kids but boys are like different. I think there were two boys there that were the same age and they were like water. That says everything you need

to know honestly. Yeah. That's wild. That's why my little girl Arizona. Arizona is such a good name. That's funny. I put Vegas on my list of names. Really? The other day. It might have been when you said Arizona. I think you've said it to me.

And then I was like, wait, what if I want to name my kid Vegas? But I don't think Nicole would let that let that one. Really? What if you had another one named Maui? Vegas and Maui would actually be like so fucking. But is that like so self-centered? No. Oh, you just literally built that human from

scratch yes it's like hello i guess that's true one of my names tana one of my names on my list is ikaika because it's a hawaiian name and it's he's my favorite dealer in vegas and i've won like so much money with him poker no roulette i'm gambling yes not drugs not no yeah oh my god no my god oh my god my drug dealer's name was dollars but i don't know where i'm not gonna name my kid dollars and i don't know his name is dollars either yeah that's probably true um but no ikaika i love ikaika i love it and like how cool is that that it's like a hawaiian name and he's from hawaii but like he was my i've won the most money with him in vegas like that's kind of a good crossover that is i love that and like whatever but i don't know sydney sweeney and glenn powell were like back

there again i didn't know her that her relationship was so age gap central yeah i didn't realize either he's i think 40 41 and she's 27 so and she was 20 when they started dating that so it's like i could i feel like she got so much flack for the glenn powell shit but shit if i was like i was about to say changing a geezer's diaper and it's like he's not that old at all he's fully mobile shitting normally using toilets but i like could see how then you're on the set with like glenn powell and you're like wait what what have i been missing out on and then like i'm sydney sweeney like you know yeah 100 i feel like also when you just get in a relationship that young i feel like you're

always gonna end up being like oh my god look at all this that's out there but i almost i don't know anything about him and i also didn't know they had an age gap relationship but when i found out that she was engaged i was like god like root for that guy because he's the underdog she's sydney sweeney and like if they can like actually get married that will be the most amazing thing ever i am they're not getting married but i'm happy for her i think she's going to really spread her wings i would love to see her in glad powell i would love to see it too but i also would love to see her with like somebody that we wouldn't expect like someone like really uh-huh not that glenn isn't but we've seen that i've seen them together oh my god i wanted to pop out with like kodak black okay i could see that i could see that or

like a woman oh yeah or like miley cyrus oh my I would like actually les out to the moon if that happened like imagine it would just be oh my god that really took me somewhere oh my god I like have so many more things to say I'm just like dying I'm sorry you don't feel good it's like I was sobbing last night it's so funny I told you this on the phone today but I was sick and I was just uncontrollably sobbing it to the point that mccall was like did i do something that like you're not telling me about like why are you like like you don't even like are you okay like i was scream sobbing because of how sick i am and knowing that i had to like shoot this magazine cover all day and like do all this shit and i was just crying and i was going i feel like brock i in

like an endearing way though no i get it I do think I'm out of that phase or I don't want to call it a phase I think it's very much a part of my personality but I'm very stable these days I know sometimes I miss the random brook cries though but that was there were also factors there like shitty men and shit you know

yeah and I was just like a generally like very miserable person but you I feel like sometimes you go really and i was just like a generally like very miserable person but you i feel like sometimes you go really long time without being like emotional and so sometimes i think i'm such a fucking crier these days though even like chelsea i was crying like for days after we left the podcast because you want to know what i've i talked about this somewhere already but i still want to tell you because i think it's really special as you know with writing this book I have started or tried or have been trying to write this book for a very long time right and so I have all of the times

that I started to write the book like still on my computer like the different starts and whatever and then I would realize I wasn't in the right time and whatever. And now in this current version of the book, I'm using all of those, like almost putting them in quotes to like discuss how I was at that time, if that makes sense, like where I was writing, where my head was at. I should tell you about multiple

because some are just really funny. Like there was one time that I like started to write the book and my entire opening monologue was about how people are releasing Amy Winehouse's diaries from like post-mortem and I was like I'm writing this book just in case I die tomorrow like I'm spiting everybody I don't want anybody to speak for me like girl how dark and lost you have to be like only writing the book because you think you're gonna die first of all okay that wasn't that was

just a side tangent um but one of them was about how Jordan Morona had an office that was across the hall from Chelsea Handler's like enterprises office and I would pass it every single day and I would just like as I would pass it I would like slow down like I'd walk really slow like hoping she'd come out and like then I would like go in these meetings and people would ask me my like career goals and it would obviously be like in 25 years I hope I'm anything like Chelsea Handler like whatever and as I'm writing this book I've really been struggling with trying to figure out what the end of the book is right because it's like where do you end it like cool shit just keeps happening like we're going on this international tour shit do i want to talk about that or is that you'll write 100 just like

chelsea and i guess that's true but like i still just haven't figured out where i want it to end and i got home after chelsea and i realized that that moment was the ending of this book oh and it like just made me sob like it was so full circle that that really cute is like the ending and just even just watching it back like i'm so proud of us i like trying to be more in my proud gratitude present era and like we did really good me too i feel like i i jumped to being like hard on myself about certain things but i'm like that like it was the best day ever you can't make it anything else other than just like amazing and just the amount of people who've been like congratulating me and like bringing it up i'm

sure same for you it's like i don't know it just feels very special and i'm excited and this fucking tour it's tail as old as time for me that's like the phrase i'm eating like a horse right now and i'm sorry y'all i have a disorder we know i always do this where like we sign on for a tour and i'm just like we're going on tour and i'm telling everyone we're going on tour and then i'll always have this weird moment where i'm like in bed at night and i sit up and i'm like oh my god like makoa said something to me like we're going international and i had this thought literally like two days ago and i was like wow we're really leaving the country for like a long time a long time and can i just say i know it's going to be amazing but whenever i leave the country for a long time you have those crash outs of like either you get

sick and like all you want is to be able to go buy some like american medicine because it's like just like even how the food is kind of less MSG and like better for you. Or like you won't have air conditioning for five days or like ice for a week. Or like I'm acting like everything's rural and that's not what I mean. But like you'll have the like I miss the things in America like bald eagle screech crash out, you know. And like just thinking about the fact that we're going to be gone and so far for so long. Like I'm so excited. But it's definitely it's going to be crazy.

I don't know what to expect. I'm more worried like not so much like what's definitely it's gonna be crazy i don't know what to expect i'm more worried like not so much like what's gonna happen there but like i i worry so much about like home because of especially with mouse going into the hospital so often i'm like i the way that i have to vet the person who is living with him no you need obviously knows but you need for x military there's just such a difference between caring for a cat and caring for a mouse, which is like,

I mean, my bad. But, no, but it's, and I think there's, there is some like, emotional safety as well in being on a US tour

and then having like, two off days and knowing in your head, like, if I really need to go home, like, yes, it'd be grueling travel wise, i can't like you can't out there and like my my number one person who could help like back at home is coming with us bb i know so also you guys maybe but like mark my words this might be the craziest decision i've ever made but i opted out of having an assistant and into having bb instead which yeah i it's funny i told makoa the other day in the airport because makoa asked me like oh who's gonna be brooks assistant on

this tour and i told him bb and i swear to god this was makoa's reaction like smile dropped like truly i was like it's either gonna be just like amazing because she knows you better than anyone right yeah but obviously there's always the murky water of hiring your friend yeah and i've done it before with bb okay i got bb this is such a different scenario but i got bb hired at catch and i'd be like bb can you go do this and she's like no so they might end up being like an there might be a jorts gate within you and bb like a like a bad girls club moment in oslo but more so than anything it's like like i need her to be there for my mental like yeah literally it's more important like i'd rather like pack my own bags and like

do whatever and have bb there than like not yeah i agree and she's i also think it's it's always great to have at least like one person that's kind of doing shit for the plot especially with our like married eras like you know BB's gonna be like sucking under a big red bus in London and like I can't wait I swear to god she's already on hinge in like London I'm like what are you doing also it's so funny like pre-planning your dates for the off days she's so funny you know-planning your dates for the off days. She's so funny. You know what? This girl is consistent with these dates and I love her for it. I hope she doesn't kill me for saying this, but we've been having such a fun time with her dating life right now

because for a second she's been going on dates with a Dodger player. Okay. There's someone that BB is trying to date and I'm not going to say who it is, but she put me into cardiac arrest. She was not kidding, Brooke Amber. She's with a Dodger. it is but she put me into cardiac arrest she was not kidding brooke amber but no i think they went on like literally one date but she was like will you go on a double date with me like to me and my boyfriend and we were like oh my god duh and we were like what if we showed up to this double date and head to toe like foam finger fucking jersey. Like Otani on my back.

Like could you imagine? I wish you did it so bad. We should prank Bebe right now. I know. Because it's April Fool's. What about a collect call? Like we use Google Voice, which I've totally never used on eight ex-boyfriends,

to, you know, like make a jail call and then see if she accepts, which I've totally never done to someone I've dated. And you know what I mean? Yes. But can't you like like you can make it look like somebody else is calling them that's what i'm saying like it'll look like it's a collect call from jail for you and we'll see if she it's kind of late into april fool's day we could also try to do it to hunter and that could be funny i feel like hunters would be too hip to april fool's jokes one time i did that to hunter where you call

and you play the car accident like the noise and he was like actually so scared and so pissed for like a week and I get scared with him because the prank wars

of it all but I was going to finish the BB note though before we get off this note I've been seeing that she's posting with Bobby Blandino again and it is

get ready for it the tale is old as time where you're the friend and you know what I mean and you go so hard on a guy and then the friend ends up forgiving the guy and I like I know you've done it for me yeah now I'm just standing here fucking I called him toast or something it was like a whole thing Bobby knows that he can live but like I just don't want him for BB I don't want I want someone I want a dodger for BB you went so goddamn I wasn't truly like and I've done it I did it with mod you know like I've done it with people and like where you go so hard and then you forgive them but like yeah and then I accidentally went too hard and then he bullies

me at a party yeah Yeah. Miss him. What was I going to fucking say? I'm sorry. I just keep interrupting you. I can't help it. We have ADHD and I think it's okay. People get, it's funny. I was going to say people get so mad at the interrupting, but like we don't care.

But like, it's also like a podcast that people have to listen to. I know, but I don't mean to. I don't notice it happening. That's why I'm like, oh my God, I watch it back and i'm just as appalled as you that is the thing that's the thing with everything with the me and my mm-hmms i couldn't even not do it to chelsea you guys have no idea how much in the editing process now because i don't know what episode it was it might have been jeffree star or something and i'm just going the entire time i've never noticed you do it ever in my life and now i mute them uncanceled so like even like when the episode comes out people like oh she's gotten better and it's like no i muted nine that's amazing yeah that's what we

should start doing it's like maybe our mics just shouldn't be allowed to be going at the same time like we have to choose one you know oh so it doesn't no but then i'm talking and it's just you like yeah that's fine and that's what they would prefer'm kidding, yeah. I put our Facetune fail on the thing to just react to. Can I come clean? Was it you? I did it. Brooke and I. Okay, I just want to talk about how far we've come

as just like, we've had a lot of internal issues when it comes to our photo shoots and just where we used to be versus now like even just like and i do see all all of these were kind of you having discrepancies with the way that i've done things for years and i respect them completely because it is correct like we'd spend twenty thousand dollars on a photo shoot and then i would want to face app it and then the quality would go to toaster and we'd want to post it you know what I mean it's like I have to post the toaster quality pictures yes and it's like you know you you made me understand the value of a retoucher so that it's like you know what I mean

the photos are as high quality as we're paying for and like whatever still look like a kiss seven well no okay I want to I'm talking about me I I just, I smoothed. I'm doing way less these days. I am. I'm truly, I'm growing and whatever. Even just now when we have a photo shoot, I go out of my way, especially because I don't want the fucking wrath of being like, let's choose these photos together.

I want to make sure you love them. I want to edit them together. I want to, whatever. We do that for the Yap merch. We go through all precautions. You come all the way to my house we sit down on the couch we select the photos of the yacht merch together and then erin can you please pull up um my last instagram post or yeah or the one of me and brooke with the yacht merch

we look gorgeous and the merch is amazing zoom into that conveyor belt after all the fucking work and the retouchers. Zoom into that conveyor belt. After all the fucking work and the retouchers and all the fucking things, look at the fucking conveyor belt. Warped like a motherfucker. And I feel like I haven't, we haven't like warped walls

since like 2018. You know what I mean? And it's just like all of that to the fucking, ugh. That was my bad and let me just explain to you how this happened. What were you trying to do?

Okay, so I was trying to compromise and make this an easy process for you and I, Bull. Okay, so I was trying to turn a photo I didn't like into a photo I did like. Uh-huh. And this photo looked like I had just been through a wind tunnel. Were you like refining your hair?

Yeah, I literally was just refining, like changing the shape of my hair. Saying it out loud. Yes, that's right. Like someone put hot lava on the TSA conveyor belt. But this is what my hair looks like. And you wanted to use this photo, which is just a bad friend move.

As hard as we try the precautions, the meeting up in person. Well, to be fair fair that was for the the covers and these ones were our own responsibility yeah that's true it's and honestly it's funny because we have this back and forth of like should we delete the photo and i kind of was just like you know what it's on brand it'll probably raise engagement of the photo thus hopefully raising sales of the app merch and that was your punishment for posting the whole grid post without ever consulting with me.

And choosing the worst photo of me as the first photo. That's your fault. And we'll never get it right so long as we live. And that's okay. You know what I mean? But honestly, Brooke, do you know that the Yacht Merch was our highest sales yet? The girlies really. Really?

They went in. And I'm so happy because it is my favorite item we've ever made. I love it so much. I wear it all the time. Also, you're going to catch me in those glasses a lot more these days without my eyelids I'm gonna have stitches under my beer glasses yeah I was in Texas for a wedding now I'm conjuring I love I love a southern I love a southern bell Justin Bieber has new music would you like to hear it I saw one that was like Benny what's he say he's saying Benny

right the amount of times I have been like what I presume to be Haley in that situation right? The amount of times I have been like what I presume to be Haley in that situation sitting with a guy in the studio

who's like Yeah, first of all that sounds like pretty much every guy you've ever dated. Second of all And having to be like babe, it's so good.

Aw, wait. Not every single one. That was a lot of them make good music. That was just I was speaking in hyperbole. I was really just thinking

about like Lil Xan. I think Justin Bieber is one of the most talented people on the planet. Me too. He's so amazing. I think all his music has been fabulous, but I think this album can wait. It breaks me in the most parasocial way because I love him so much.

I would also like to think that he is like not bothered by this and like thriving with Haley and just all the things, you know what I mean? And it's so, did you see that one of the songs that the one that where she says, you're so embarrassing,

whatever that she came out and said that she wrote that as a POV of someone was saying that to her, like as in Haley was saying all of that to her. Did you watch the TikTok I sent sent i watched most of it i don't know because i got in trouble for my last take but i think i'm doubling down i think i still think bullying a new mother is just diabolical and horrible and the what the internet is doing to her is just awful i agree i think it's like not even so much that but it's just the fact that like, it is so tired and it's like against

what we all talk about all the time, which is like, bully men and support women. That's what we're supposed to be doing. Bully men, support women. I couldn't agree more. I love Haley and I love Selena.

Like there, there's no, and I'm not even like trying to make it all make sense. Yeah, it just makes me sad. And it's like, I feel like all,

again, this is me being so parasocial, but all Justin's ever wanted was like a kid, right? And like, I just, I want to see nothing but everybody thrive. So it's kind of just like a sad situation to me.

Can we please react to this video? So this, well, here's what I'm going to say. I saw this TikTok the other day and I straight up commented on this and said like, I'm not watching. I will save it for canceled because I already know it's bad.

I want to tell you, I don't even, on my like first round of story time tours, they really would just give me a mic and say like, go up there. And do you know, a lot of times I wouldn't, I don't even want to say these words out loud. I wouldn't write anything. I would just go up there with a mic. And that's why what we did first to start in like phoenix i guess that's no but we still have like a note of like like i would literally just wait till i got there hope someone pissed me off in the airport and like cook and

then i would turn me i would turn a lot of it at the end of the show to like motivational speaking as well because i was like let me try to like dial back from this and try to give advice to the crowd and like whatever so I can only and I'm honestly I don't even want to say this out loud because I know it's going to incite people to do it but I'm happy at how little of those tours have resurfaced to the internet and I saw this and I'm sure it's bad you know what let's just let's just react to it and we'll see it's amazing hurt people hurt people and there's always going to be people that are rude to you and it's bad. You know what? Let's just let's just react to it. And we'll see. It's amazing. Hurt people hurt people. And there's always going to be people that are rude to you. And it's not your fault. But I think the most important thing is to laugh them off and remember that you are a queen.

Oh, honestly? Honestly? No, you cooked. It was amazing. Oh, I thought this. This is not what I thought it was. You know what I thought this was? I thought that that was me post

iDubbbz and I was like oh I don't because because again whatever was happening in my environment I took to stage and I remember that day I went very I tried to go very motivational and it was like oh you don't need to do what you well I was really motivated by that. And what was, well, because I think that at the time, I would get a lot of much, much younger girls at my meet and greets. And the common theme was always like a kind of, especially just with my fans kind of being, you know, more like me. And a lot of times broken girls, broken homes, crazy girls going through a lot. The common theme a lot of times was kind of being bullied at school so but then here i am a dropout trying to give like like motivational advice on how to deal with

that and in reality my real advice would be like listen yeet the school right like yeah but then you know no i think you were amazing i just thought i liked the way that you combined some what did i even say some i just watched that. I don't even know what I said. Hurt people hurt people. Hurt people hurt people. And you said like something at the end of the day. You're a queen. Half it all. You're a queen.

But like, I don't know. It was amazing. I don't know about that. Isn't that just crazy? Because that tour was backed at the time by Fullscreen, which at the time was one of the biggest YouTube MCNs to exist, if not the biggest one so i'm imagining all these higher ups having to go pitch it and the fact that they weren't ever

like oh like let's have a meeting about the the subject of the show like that's like a liability yeah and i think that they they were down because it was just making a lot of money like i was like selling out these places but it's it is so wild I would like go in the bathroom. I would get to the venue and I would go in the bathroom of the green room and I would just look in the mirror and imagine I'm on stage and just start spewing shit. That was it. And then walk out onto the stage. I remember I did one whole run of tour ranting about just spirit airlines, but I had no story, no basis.

Like I was just like, I hate them. Yes. Like just pissed about spirit airlines it's like drafts real talent like nobody can do that i would sooner die like fearlessness stage without you i think i would just die which actually i am about to do a show that's that is alone and i cannot believe no i know my stomach to think you are so fucking talented on stage you are so fucking that's that's why we're still

here doing this shit like you know what i mean you are so damn good on a stage it's so different like with somebody else there you feel like it's not happening no it is like so much easier with a person especially on stage going out there alone is like diabolical in the sense that if it crashes and it burns it's not because there are there are so many moments where we've had to kind of you know like each day you wake up maybe one person's sick one person's whatever like can carry the team on their back a little like you have someone to lean on like when i was shitting myself when we had jake shane and i would was running off stage and you just had to oh my god i forgot about that dude jake shane's tour is crazy is he he's doing huge venues he

deserves everything. And the funniest, he, his mind, even the other day, JetBlue Airlines fucked me over, bent me the fuck over and just fucking,

no lube fucked me, okay? I don't know, careful because that's the word, like that's, who's better than JetBlue? I know, but,

you don't want to burn that bridge. But, well, there's no bridge to be had. I'm buying the seed every time let's be so fucking for real okay but Jake Shane made that song

Jet Blue where he's like Jet Blue who are you you lie you're deceit whatever I was playing it all day

and I was just like ugh his mind but him on stage making the crowd pretend that he's on a red carpet it's like his mind

is one of one he's three steps ahead nobody thinks like him and it makes me so jealous it's absolutely insane i love him and he's so cute so he is he's truly everything he deserves everything and more have you ever gone shopping at trashy lingerie didn't someone just get shot there yes i've only been with maybe i'd been with you i've been there one time but it was like i i was so upset by the prices i decided to never go back so trashy lingerie is this hot pink lingerie store on fairfax or on melrose one of those it's across from the beverly center and even just when you're driving down the street it's very iconic hot pink it says trashy

lingerie and it was made famous by paris hilton and like britney spears and all of that like back in the day you have to like get a you have to pay for a membership to even go in and then when you go in everything is like a fucking thousand dollars and they you know they blew up too with the playboy bunnies and doing all that especially i love it so much and i've always loved trashy for halloween photo shoots and stuff because you go in and they'll sew padding into the tits. They'll bone the corset to like your size.

Like it is truly snatch central. And like it just being popular, very Y2K staple of Los Angeles. Like I think everyone should just go in and look around even just one time. It's very like cool. And I love it. And having gone in over the years,

I've made good friends with the people who work there and josie has been really good friends with the owner since she was like sick she like played on a softball team with one of them or some shit like whatever so we'll like go in and like just it's very much like family vibes whatever and to my surprise i get a new story the other day that the owner randy who like i know very well had to shoot his own brother because he walked in their house is attached to the store wait so that's crazy which i don't even know how that like works but he walks into the back and the brother is strangling the elderly mom like to death and won't stop and there's a full trashy homicide and it's funny because every

time i've ever kind of gone in i've been like this is kind of eerie in there yes and like almost just a wild dynamic it's a funny i sent it to another one of my like girlfriends who like always shops there and she just responded and said yeah randy's a g like like like it's not even surprising oh randy's the one who saved his mom yeah okay slay randy yeah but like how crazy god it's sometimes i forget like that real like those things really happen oh and just like it's horrible hollywood like it's just it's so crazy it is there was a shooting outside my building a couple days ago really yeah i've been looking at apartments in hollywood yeah citizen is not something you should

have if you live in hollywood i'll tell you that much yeah it's i've been missing it it's so weird i can't adjust it's such an out of touch tangent but i just like i miss it so fucking much i went to my old smoke shop and damn near cried like i miss it so i was on chad gbt the other night just like learning more about chateau marmont and like the fucking beverly hills hotel and just missing that whole side of the world and i'm like damn am i really about to like get a little space and go back no well you're not far i just i get what you're saying though like even i just just in texas and i like explore the idea all the time of like going to arizona or going to texas or something and buying like a big nice house because like money goes far and then i go to those places and I'm like no I would rather be you know it is I've been over on the street yeah it's so wild though that like a two-bedroom apartment is like 1.3 million dollars

in Hollywood like that is so much but I've been finding out so much about the infinite money glitch okay and I'm so like and obviously buying a property is the biggest feat ever like you know what I mean so it's I'm not saying saying this is the easiest thing in the world, but if you buy a property, you can theoretically, while you're living in that one, buy another property and put your down payment down and then lease out the new property to tenants and then their rent that they're paying you

is just paying your mortgage. And you can do that all the way until something is paid off. And I'm like, shouldn't this be illegal isn't that kind of like why everybody just like invests in real estate i honestly like i don't understand money me either but i mean what do you mean i can go put a very like in comparison to the 1.2 million dollars small down payment on this place and then just rent it out to people and then they're paying for it like that just feels so illegal to me and obviously just because i grew up never knowing anything about this but like yeah i think a lot of these things are things that we just

like maybe parents teach their kids and ours didn't like even right now while you're renting this you could theoretically buy a property put put a very, like the smallest down payment possible. Wasn't that the whole, yeah, that's why you buy real estate in other places. Yeah. But then, so it's like once you've bought one

or have somewhere else to live, can you just keep doing that? Yeah. So long as you have the down payment? Uh-huh. I don't know. It's just like, I don't know,

it feels so illegal to me that I'm just gonna be like leasing to some like hollywood tiktokers and then all of a sudden in like some years it's paid off there are some things that i really like i would need days and days to be able to like wrap my head around my brain just doesn't work that way i don't get i don't understand money i don't understand time and i don't understand how photos are you have to make your chat GPT gay because if you make your chat GPT gay it changed my life

like it taught me everything I need to know you know what's wrong with me and this is like has to be part of my personality disorder or something

but like I feel true guilt like talking in my chat GPT too much like I feel like I'm like bothering him or her

I like you know what I mean like sometimes when I like have exhausted a question too much I'm like okay let me give her a break like I'm like bothering him or her i like you know what i mean like sometimes when i like have exhausted a question too much i'm like okay let me give her a break like i'm annoying her yeah that's actually really fucking funny yeah or like i feel good like my boyfriend too will do it sometimes i'm like okay like enough leave her alone and when i made mine explain everything like even the other day i forget what i was asking, I was talking about like the chicken or the egg theory, like asking chat GPT,

like what came first and like just whatever. This is what I do at night. I need to just go to bed. I say I have insomnia, but it's like put the chat down, you know? And it was being like, well, and that's why it wasn't a slave for the chickens. Like it just explains everything to me in that way.

Like I've learned so much about real estate because it'll be like a lien on a house is like having someone else's bad ex-boyfriend. And then like you get it. I really do need to do that. I like the questions I ask are so strange. Like I remember I asked her something earlier. I just decided she's a woman by the way.

Oh, I asked her if my cat was going to die if he ate half a flea jacket. She said probably. Just kidding. I liked our laughs. I know I had fun this episode. I'm not going to lie. I was really concerned coming in today

just because I always have a podcast post photo shoot too and it's just like I couldn't schedule it better. You know, just and even just today it's same thing. Like some people love it, but it's like the seven inch heels and I had corsets down, like dislocating rib territory. Remember when Rachel Zegler was like, if I have to stand in my dress for 12 hours a day, that's what you sound like. I know. And it's true. I'm honestly, today was so exciting. Makoa and I shot our first magazine cover together, which was cool.

There was almost a part of the day where it did like, I was making jokes, but it felt like pregnancy or marriage or something like Makoa and I on the cover of a magazine. It was like, just, I don't know. Very cool. And he was like,

really cool. I just, I had no idea you guys were doing it together. That's already like an accomplishment in itself, but how fun to do it with him. Well, it started because I wanted to recreate pamela anderson with the cone have you ever seen it with the guy the conehead can you look up pamela

anderson conehead so i wanted to recreate this photo with makoa like super bad like i wanted to have like a special effects person do this to him he was down and so excited i almost feel like makoa was more excited when he's like avatar or a cone head or something because like i don't know he just likes to like do fun things i don't know i told him he could say no and he's like no i'm so down like whatever and i get on the call and they're like hey absolutely hell never the fuck not right and but then for some reason they were like well clearly she wants to do with her boyfriend so bad like that's all they took away from my pitch so then it just ended up being us. But it was like so fun. He was like suited up and looked so hot. And like it was really cute.

Honestly, that's exciting. It just ended up being like very normal. But yeah, by the time I got here and then just Miami, it's like and that Fort Lauderdale airport. I cannot stress it enough. It felt like I was in the Hunger Games. Yeah, I don't like airports in general. And that one's just up there. It's up there with EWR, Newark Airport.

Like I have a list of airports that I... I like Newark Airport and you don't. I would rather be there than JFK. No way. I guess it's like less of a wait time and stuff, but there are just certain airports where it's like I would run it better. And that's saying a lot.

And it was like, I never want to be in a United States airport and think, God, this needs a box fan. You know what I mean? Like, God, this needs, like it's just- Sometimes a box fan just hits though. And I just keep doing this thing to myself lately

where I'm going to a place that's already crazy and I don't know that it's timed with something insane until I've already like committed. Like I went to Cabo and it was like nice relaxing summer trip and then it happens to be spring break and then it's like everyone's hammered it's a whole thing Miami too I'm like what sorry I just got triggered what because I said it's like I said spring breaks recently to just like indicate like the time period

and someone's like you're 30 imagine me all week having to do these spring break brand deals i'm like oh my god i literally like spring break doesn't die with high school like spring break is just like that's a thing it's like it's like easter yeah oh i get what you're saying like memorial weekend like that's what i like memorial weekend isn't over when you don't go to school anymore yeah i guess that's true i guess spring break doesn't happen for like a real job yeah i guess that's true but like yeah i touched down in cobburn in spring break i touched on in miami it's miami music week it's like i'm i'm getting to these places that are already so chaotic during the most chaotic time of my life and then all of la is in miami and i'm like oh my god like how did i end up like nelking it out it out? Like, I'm tired, you know?

And I just, even just the airport, yeah, it was just truly a hellscape. Well, you got through it, and I knew you would. And it's also giving, like, I have a busy week. Spray tan at five, no boo at seven.

Like, it's like, I'm not meaning to just bitch so much. Try being an influencer for it. Yes, exactly. Like, it's like, oh my God, Tana, your life is so hard. That's not what I mean, but I am just so dead.

And then tomorrow, I'm driving down to San Diego for Jeff Wittek's live show. That'll be fun. And it's like, oh my God, Tana, your life is so hard. That's not what I mean, but I am just so dead. And then tomorrow I'm driving down to San Diego for Jeff Wittick's live show. That'll be fun. And I'm excited because I think it'll, it's always nice to have something to do on a stage before you're touring. You know, like it puts you back in that. And I'm excited to see what they do on stage for his live show and see if there's anything we can blatantly steal.

You know, we should send a moment to the Jake Shane live show. show i would absolutely love to and just i love i love seeing what other people are doing on stage so i am like really excited to do all that but it's going to be chaos i'm sure i'm excited for tour i'm excited to see what you do at jeff show i'm excited to see your playboy cover and i'm excited for you to try wide gusset underwear i'm excited for your bleph i'm excited for hopefully who it is i'm excited for mouse to have a week of friskies and i'm excited to go on over to the patreon and take more pseudofed because i'm fucking dying any more takeaways i can't believe you captioned that that for real this time by gracie abrams

we'll talk to you guys very soon hopefully i'm just i'm really gonna fuck this z pack up later and i'll be back in better bye we love you so much and we're so excited for this international tour if you're in paris or you're in oslo or you're in any of these other places come grab a ticket come see us live we are so stoked and i had a great time today's episode for being on my absolute fucking deathbed we love you guys slated and i am so especially excited to go to germany i love germany germany bye i haven't bought any tickets you