Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 119: BROOKE GOT OFFERED 2 MILLION DOLLARS FOR THIS…. - Ep. 119

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

Tana, Brooke & Imari are back with unhinged confessions, TikTok conspiracies, sh*t-yourself stories, and why dating in LA is a mess. Plus lymphatic massages, fake sports fandoms, and the legend of Girth Master. Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A Produced by: https://instagram.com/oscaralva.

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge then mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming ontario hello and welcome back to the cancelled podcast we have our favorite friend in the building ew what you hate that yeah yeah mari really that. Do they hate it too? I think they do hate it, yeah. Do you hate it? Everything. Today's episode is a timeless episode of the Canceled Podcast. We're shooting this on Wednesday, April 9th at 8.22 p.m. But who knows?

This could come out in August. But just know that I don't still have two black eyes. Would you just call her Bleffy the Vampire Slayer? Yeah, Bleffy the Vampire Slayer. And Natalia. She's my friend. We work out. Whom?

Natalia Grace? No, Bleffy the Vampire Slayer. She's like, yeah, I bench her. You know what? Have you seen Good American Family? But I know what you're talking about. But you know what? We need to introduce a segment on this show called what we got wrong in the last episode i think we've been trying to do that for a long time you know what's funny sometimes i will see online people like can they please just do their goddamn research let me answer that for you no but seriously like sometimes i'm like like i do get fried or fried up i get fired up because i'm

like why are you coming to us for educational information but also like sometimes we'll be saying stuff that's like how the fuck and you say with your chest oh yeah like so confident but that's what i learned that's what that's what i was taught is like say things with confidence confidence is key but i'm just lying to people i'm just saying some wrong ass shit. It's like Buzz Lightyear was on the move. I love when we get a laugh from the audience. I know. When you get a laugh from in there, it's as good as a good bump. I'm going to tell you that much.

I made a good joke earlier and I'm not even kidding. I've been on a high ever since. It was a joke. Yeah, you had to be there. What did we get wrong? What did we get wrong? Oh, we got wrong. Natalia Grace was not a little woman she

was actually only eight years old dude all of it's i don't know she's a real woman so we fucking show me either but i have been seeing it all over tiktok that she actually was eight but it's like who's lying you she's like what really well i got in trouble because like she i sent her that tiktok about her having like ellersDanlos syndrome or whatever. Or whatever. You're already being dismissive to the community. I'm sorry. But it's this syndrome.

And this girl had made this video about it. And I sent it to Tana. And Tana freaked out on me. She texted me death threats. Diagnosing me with the syndrome with the average life expectancy of 48. But God forbid, I just try to raise awareness or something. Raise awareness. So I sent it to Tana. of 48 but god forbid i just try to like raise awareness or something raise awareness and then she's mad at me about it so on the podcast i'm like no no trust me like it's probably not even real i've never even heard of it like just jokingly like backtracking and now it's like brooke doesn't believe in us oh wow wow and i've accidentally discredited wow i gotta

get with those people we should do a walk or something. No, but apparently it is. It's actually very common. I didn't realize like in our comment section, like everybody's like, oh, I have that. And it has more to do, I think, with your veins than collagen. I'm not, let me not. Let me just not.

Okay, let me. Let's just not. But just know that I. No confidence this time. I believe in you. And I know you're real. You are seen. Like it's jack frost i was just trying to make my friend feel better no and it is and we've had that running bit of like if you haven't heard about some shit it is not real to you and i know but you know when

things get clicked clipped on tiktok and they're like and she went to nursing school like first of all i never said that and by that i mean i've 100 said that i was pre-nursing i never got professionally admitted to the nursing program and i never would have i love how you're like clarifying this like years later yeah well everyone knew everyone knew do you think do you think the people in nursing school like were they like oh she's not gonna make it yes oh yeah like you were just kind of first of all because i'm like an actual idiot second of all because i cheated my way all through school and because i had to take chem 101 twice chem 101 twice with dr van dorn love her and i got a i got a c the first time no imagine she was like with meredith gray that's honestly very similar go Go to C, okay?

And like you can't get a C and get professionally admitted. So I had to retake the course, okay? Sat front row every single day. I was teacher's pet. Me and Dr. Van Doren, we were like literally best friends. Got a C again. I should have just given it up right then and there. That's always how like school felt for me.

I was like, listen, I just can't do better than this. And you know, my dad would always tell me fence posts can get a c and i'm like can you even read oh no yeah at all literally at all i have to pee so bad that it's clouding my head up i know okay we can cook while you're gone but i'm just i'm having a good time i don't want to miss out might as well piss yourself on set since you shit yourself last time yeah it's it's so funny amari was just saying off camera that when i was saying huh weren't the chairs white no i thought i'm just kidding just freaking out because the chairs were white did you guys switch them out because you didn't want any more incidents any poopy mishaps no we don't have three white chairs so we brought out

the green chairs just oh okay amari was saying in the one of the last episodes i was saying that the bathroom smells like carcass and he was under the impression that I was saying that I made it smell like carcass. Yes. She was saying that? That's what I interpreted it as. Me too.

It was also clipped though. Like I didn't watch the episode. See, look at these clips just painting us in. Painting us like we're shitting on things and making it smell bad. I still can't believe that. Have you ever shit yourself? No.

I know you have. Why do you say it with such judgment? I don't say it with... What do you mean I know you have? Well, you shit yourself on the way to shoot one of your guys' tour thingies. God forbid I still show up to work. I was not downplayingplaying your hardworking,

your drive, your drive. Okay. You know, I am so proud of you, but I was just saying I haven't, I've never shit myself. No, you're next. That's how it works. That's how it works.

She told me I was literally, I was always like, no, I'm better than all of you. Like my sphincter is fucking on lock. Well, the thing is you let your farts out though. Like I won't do that okay uh yes she's like people who go to the bathroom every single time they have to fart are fucking out to lunch no but you can just hold it in well this was like not a situation where you could just hold it in no oh yeah but i will just say this specific like it was coming whether i wanted it

to or not like there was no question like it was like i could clench with all of my might and it did not matter well why didn't you get up and leave then if you knew that like that was what was happening because i thought it was just a really driven fart it drove no no risk assessment team it drove skid marks babe bad no not even one little like dollop on the back of her pants audio listeners if you could see my face and it's just the way i had to like hose myself down at home like a dog it's liar yeah we didn't even hug when she walked in no literally we didn't even hug i was like i gotta it was actually really funny though because i think you got your makeup done that day?

Yeah. Yeah, and it was so funny because she came down to my room after and I knew she was getting the shower. I heard the shower and everything. She comes down to my room full glam still and I was like, did you? I sat on it.

You shit yourself and you still went out of your way to save your wing? Yeah, that wing was an Alexis Oakley wing, a $300 wing. I'm wearing that the next day to Jeff Wittek's live show. I shit on my face. Yeah. oakley wing a 300 wing i'm wearing that the next day to jeff wood a slide on my face yeah and yeah i'm not i don't need a micellar water my fucking eyes because i shit myself i just

took the little nozzle to the hole i do have to pee go piss girl piss on the floor piss on the floor i guess i just piss on the floor what's's that from? You guys can have fun without me. Nope. God forbid. She's like, do you have my walker? Are your eyes still itchy? They're itchy. They feel like...

Are the stitches still in? It doesn't look like it. Only my big ones. Like these blue ones. The ones that are coming out. And I pimple patched them to my face. That's so funny. Because I had this big old sticker

and I was like, let me just pimple patch them. Honestly smart because the pimple patch is invisible. This girl at the gifting suite earlier was talking to Tana and she was like... I love that you still went.

I know. Well, I had my sunglasses on. She's talking to Tana and she's so excited to meet Tana and we're talking for a long time and I'm jumping into the conversation here and there but won't even... She's a Tana fan on she's talking to tana and she's so excited to meet tana and like we're talking for a long time and i'm like jumping in a conversation here and there but like won't even like she's a tana fan so she's like talking talking will not look at me and finally she goes take your glasses off no and i pulled up my glasses she's like ow i'm like was it alissa violet won't even acknowledge you bless her heart bless her heart what should we talk about while she's

gone tell me a secret um don't have any secrets but since we're talking about good american family doesn't she exhibit natalia behavior i don't know i didn't i haven't seen the show okay so basically like she's just like he's always throwing temper tantrums to get her way and stuff and honestly that's really it too because like the night that she shit herself was the night that the episode came out. It comes out at midnight on Tuesday. So it's technically Wednesday or whatever. But she was like, I'm so fucking sick, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

And we watch it weekly. And I was like, okay, well, like you're so sick that you're shitting yourself. Maybe we could watch it. We're filming. You're having fun without me. We're actually talking about you. We're talking about how you are Natalia Grace

Oh my fuck She's like I'm so fucking sick Well if you're so sick Obviously I want to watch a show with you But maybe What if we just watch it on FaceTime tonight Like at the same time Like we're a long distance couple

Well you were so sick That you were shitting yourself That's the last thing I want for myself And of course Gaslight gatekeep girl boss i found my way up there because i wasn't winning that's another natalia grace behavior is like she will get her way yeah she will go and go and go until she gets her way and she knows the people she can get her way with i am one of those people i i like i I'd say like, I used to be like a hundred percent people pleaser and I think I've definitely like leveled down to like

60% people pleaser. No, you love, no, no, no, no, wait,

wait. Well, because think about how many times I say yes, yes, yes, yes, master.

JK. But like, think about how many times I say yes. So it's like, I got to say no at some point. No, I agree. And I like, I remember the moments at some point. No I agree and I like I remember

the moments that you started really standing on no and I respect that because I used to really just exhaust you. She thinks that I say no all the time but in reality I say yes a lot but there's a lot of no's too because she asks me a lot of things. Yeah. I'm just obsessed with you. That's the thing. It is like her.

I always know that it's out of love so I take like no like and not offense i hope you don't take offense to me saying no no yeah i do see here she goes here she goes she knows what she's doing just in my dream world i would like shrink you down and put you in my pocket and you'd be everywhere with me hit up elon yeah he's got something going so you think i give natalia grace you think i give the woman with dwarfism and or the eight-year-old i don't think she's dwarfism well because you know the story ends right like the girl's claiming like i was a child but then the family's claiming up and down that she wasn't and there's no real answer no one knows the real answer is that she's eight is she alive uh-huh where's she? I want to watch the BFFs podcast.

You're lying. I'm just kidding. No, but in reality, it was just her on BFFs. She has a rare form of dwarfism. Oh, she does have dwarfism. I'm sorry. No, but it's up in the air, truly. There is no final verdict. She's dying on the air truly like there is no final verdict like

she's still she's dying on the hill saying where i'm eight bitch you know what i'm eight i ate i am so excited to see the canceled podcast live in australia which is why i wanted to give the sponsor of today's video seat geek aGeek, a huge shout out. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. So many artists going on tour, and you can get tickets to Kendrick Lamar and SZA, The Weeknd, Beyonce, Morgan Wallen, and more. I love using SeatGeek because I love attending live events like the cancelled podcast live in Sydney Australia SeatGeek has your back each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10 so you know you're getting a good deal so look for the green dots green means good red

means bad plus every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee and you know I came through for you guys you can use code cancelled 2025 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off any tickets with promo code CANCELLED2025. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, SeatGeek, for sponsoring today's episode of the Canceled Podcast. I used to be 8 pounds. I am 8 pounds. After my lymphatic today.

Lymphatic drainage. How does that? my lymphatic today lymphatic drain how does that so lymphatic drainage massages are like the celebs get them like before red carpets and stuff well i got lymphatic body sculpting so what's that honestly i don't know they use this machine on me and i'm not gonna lie like so i have this issue with massages well not as of lately but the very first time i ever got a massage i was in new york City. And I, like, started getting hard during it. And I was like, I fucking hate massages. I would only let people, like, I would only get foot massages for the longest time. What was she massaging that you got hard?

I don't remember. I think it's, like, an inner thigh. I think it was, like, my inner thighs. Today, we had to revisit that kind of situation. Well, I didn't get hard, but, like, I almost started to get hard because they were using this, like... So, would you, like, do the Kardashians and shit? No, this is someone else. She's in Japan.

You're like, grandma, grandma, grandma grandma grandma grandma no literally i was just like um but she started using this like suction thingy on the inside of my thighs and i was just like as amish would go oh whatever the fuck he does like it was just like oh my god what the fuck that is kind of crazy and I've just like been kind of in heat lately but you're horned up I actually hooked up with someone this past weekend I've got my riz back

you 69 wait wait wait wait we don't need to put everything out there like that we sucked each other's at the same time we had we went skiing.

Let me ask you a question about 69ing. I feel like I've obviously been in the position before, but I still have questions. Me and Mike. Obviously, I've done it before. Isn't it like, you know,

when you're scratching someone's back and like, someone else is scratching your back. It's like, I can't enjoy this because I'm doing this I agree with that actually fully like it's not as enjoyable because you're I think it's really hot honestly but also like I'm not the type

like I don't like 69ing like I feel like when a guy and a girl 69 it's different because it's like you can like eat a pussy and like suck a dick at the same time obviously like what you guys said not as enjoyable or whatever because you're like so a pussy and like suck a dick at the same time obviously like what you guys said like not as enjoyable

or whatever because you're like so focused on other things but like just like the placement of your genitals works differently I think 69ing with you guys is better

it's like Legos almost like they just fit but like what are you like well height comes into play as we know I'm five fucking six yeah

oh you're like sucking kneecap but like also it's just like what are you gonna do just kneecap but like also it's just like what are you gonna do just like lay like two fucking wood planks on top of each other what do you have to do like

yeah like no I like when you're like laying side by side oh that makes sense it's almost like that emoji that's like also the zodiac sign cancer I think okay

well you enjoyed yourself yeah I was tall yeah I just don't know if he's gonna like watch this

or if there's any way that he would well actually we don't even follow each other on social media I can't even show you a picture of what he looks like because we don't

follow each other on Instagram like he's private you I love his googling yes um and then i've been going on dates yeah you've been this is fun to talk about with you guys because you guys are like taken um dating in the gay world is so hard especially in los angeles because well one i feel like hooking up with people in los angeles i don't

really like doing um just because i feel like hooking up with people in Los Angeles, I don't really like doing. Just because I feel like everyone hooks up with everyone. Very, very cesspool. Like every gay I know hooks up with like the same. Yeah. I don't know, like 20 people. Well, it's just like a smaller pool. So it feels like being in college, like everyone kind of feels like they hook up with each other. Yeah, they all thwomp around WeHo.

So it's like everyone knows who's hooking up with everyone. And then like there's just like drama and stuff. I don't partake in that. I'll go to WeHo here and there. But like it's not everyone knows who's hooking up with everyone and then like there's just like drama and stuff i don't partake in that i'll go to weho here and there but like it's not my favorite place to go it's like one of those things it's like it's always a promised good time in the sense that like if you're gonna buy alcohol like you're gonna get roofied you're well you you can't get roofied but yes um but it's like if you're gonna spend 20 on a drink then you're probably gonna get your 20 worth because they're probably putting like three shots in your drink you know like that kind of thing

and sometimes some GHB and yeah there's just like lots of drama and stuff everyone knows each other and like everyone's business and stuff so it's just like gross and also I feel like there's a lot of like clout driven down there that like you really never know

what anyone's intentions are and stuff so it's like I don't know nice to driven down there that like, you really never know what anyone's intentions are and stuff. So it's like, I don't know. Nice to go down there because it's always a good time for a canceled podcast ticket. Probably. They probably just want to come over and look at like your fucking shoes. I'm like,

you know what? If you're hot enough, you can. Yeah. Who like doesn't know? Yes, exactly. So,

I mean, I've been hinging and that's a fun time, you know? I love hinging. You recently found a guy in finance on Hinge. Oh my God. We've got a man in finance.

What is that noise? And if no one hears it, I'm going to crash the phone. We hear it. Thank you for being honest with me. Because you had the, no, but you had the tools to be like,

no one else hears it well this place is haunted as fuck I just saw a random girl in the bathroom and I was like do you work here do you think it's haunted

and she was like no and I walked out she's like I'm not even here bitch right stop talking to yourself how yeah so I

my ideal I mean I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship because I am a firm believer that like if you're looking for for a relationship, like you're not going to find the best one. You know, like I am looking for someone to have a great time with and see where that leads. You know, I'm not like trying to make anyone my boyfriend unless they want me bad. You say you're looking for a boyfriend. Well, I would love one.

Conversation is real. You need to put it out in the universe. You are looking for a husband. I want someone to I want someone to sleep over did you guys see how Kim Kardashian literally was building

a man's closet in her house like for a man that doesn't exist yet I was like that's kind that's what we need to be doing out in the world

we need to be saying like oh maybe that's why you've been like collecting men's clothing for all these years when people try and clown your closet you're like i was manifesting bitch where's your man right that's so true that's so true oh my god i used to live for that like

robbing the guys i would hook up with back in the day and then coming to you and being like look at these stamps no seriously i'd be like oh hell yeah we hit the gold mine yeah i can't wait to wear so bad way i gotta hit a really crazy neck crack. This might ruin the tour. My scoliosis. Should we bring a chiropractor? I've been referencing that a lot when Justin Timberlake got pulled over with his DUI

and that's what he said, this is gonna ruin the tour. He said that to the police officer on the body cam. This is gonna ruin the world tour. You got a DUI, babe. This is gonna ruin the world tour. Like what? You got a DUI, babe. No. This is going to ruin the world tour. Like what do you mean?

Wait, that should be our bit. Yeah. That's going to be my dibs on the Instagram caption. You know what's funny is... Still not my ideas. Wait, what'd you say? Sorry, I'm just trying to start beef. You can technically call this a world tour.

It is? What do you mean technically? Like it's international. Like you've been calling it the international tour, but it's like, no, this is a world tour, babe. And then when you come and we this a world tour it is what do you mean like it's international like he's been calling it the international tour but it's like no this is a world tour babe and then when you come and we take a photo you can be like was that a world tour your girl or my girl's tour writing it down now yeah now and in any if any of you fucking viewers try and steal that instagram caption it's on site threatening the book i'll be looking spring is in full bloom on draft kings

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We've been doing this for so long that we're like, we don't stack episodes normally because we really like lose gas. And I was like, Amari will be perfect to like, help us get through this. The timing was perfect too because I was at dinner

and I was supposed to go to Ashley's hair hair appointment but like i was starving i've been on go all day like i was so exhausted i got my lymphatic body sculpting but i've been like packing i was packing had to leave go get my lymphatic and then came home packed more i'm still not done packing and then like just starving supposed to go to ashley with her to her hair appointment so we ate first and then like get the text from anna lee like can you be here like soon so i'm like oh my god my food's coming scarf my food down as fast as possible didn't have time to hang gosh stay over here oh sorry ashley we stole you what it's like i want to talk about current drama but that's stupid oh i also canceled my plans with the boy to be here canceled to be uncanceled oh my god you it'll be it'll be good down the line because then he's gonna think you're

on it you have so much um so many options but i don't want okay part of my problem too like let me know what you guys think of this i'm a very like honest person. Like, I feel like we have like fairly flexible schedules. Like as long, like, I mean, obviously like you're so booked and busy and stuff, but like, because you scheduled it that way,

you know, at the end of the day, like, I mean, I'm not as booked and busy as you guys are, but I think I have a flexible schedule and I feel like, am I too available? Because I'm always like some people like they like I want someone that like

works like a normal job with like structure and stuff like that because that's what I'm like trying to implement into my life is a lot more structure and stuff just like on my own I do feel like sometimes I'm like oh like they're like oh like when works for you and I'm like whenever no I don't think you're like

I don't think there's such a thing as being too available I don't believe in like oh my god you should seem like you're you know I don't think you're like i don't think there's such a thing as being too available i don't believe in like oh my god you should seem like you're you know i don't like that and um isabella was telling me she's like you don't want to seem too available and i was like well bitch i am well yeah no i don't i don't think i subscribe to that idea obviously like you want to just make it clear that you're doing things yeah i have a life it's not like i'm just i have a life i'm not just sitting there rotting all day doing nothing but i'm like yeah i can shut my laptop or like i can like yeah i don't know you have a flexible lifestyle therefore like if someone wants to do a date you could 8 p.m any day yeah you know

make it happen nine to five this like if i were a position with, like, a nine to five job, I would, like, ideally want somebody who does have the freedom. Or, I guess, somebody in the same position, so you have, like, the same kind of hours. I think we both lucked out a little bit in, like, the, we both got, like, both of our boyfriends just, like, can. Do whatever the fuck. Do whatever. No, I think that if you have to fake being less available to

like make someone think that you're coveted to like like you that you don't even want that person anyways yeah and anytime i would find myself like doing that like oh i have a meeting and then it's like how was the meeting insane yeah like i just had no things coming you you almost then end up having to like carry on that lie. And then when you start dating and they see that like. You know what I mean? Just like. You never want to try to seem anyway.

That's what I learned. Like I always wanted to seem like this and seem like I rode horses or something. That's just where you should draw the line. Then you got to upkeep it. What was like one that you look back on and you're like, wow, like I was really doing this? I'm trying to like remember. I mean, there's been so many, but like when, like, first of all, I hate sports. I mean, like literally taught myself like front to back, like the entire fucking, just everything there is to know about the Pittsburgh Steelers.

She's showing up to brunch with like black and yellow fucking no i did i literally spent my christmas money on victoria's secret pittsburgh stealers merch and i pretended i just like like came up on it no i was in like middle school okay no but that's so fucking funny too because you'd probably low-key be sad about that like there were probably some yoga pants you like did really want and like you had to buy the stealers collection no i wore it like a fucking badge phone or i was literally like i am but the problem is like i it's not like oh i'm trying to seem this way it was like oh i'm in love with him so i am in love with the stealers like i i i became the stealers like i it overcomes me and so i mean you do become who you're dating you're playing flag football no yes well

that this is the first time i've ever been in a relationship where i like actually like someone just met me where i am and i'm not having to like go out and like outsource personalities i am so living for that but like this is my first time trying it but now you'll never go back no ever and like god i just you know so entertained by myself these days yeah because you're living your truth like the party was always over here yeah right like not like boating and yeah like i did not need to be in the harbor your voting era was so funny though like is it's like what we would like need her like we'd all be doing something and then she was just always at the marina i loved sailing i loved

checking your location and it's just like in a body of water i was like damn yeah and then i'd leave and then some other bitches on the boat the next day like oh no you guys were giving below deck shifts damn there could have been a show have you seen below deck um no but i've seen traders which means i have to see below deck because i'm one of the very important characters katie oh it's from below deck it's from below deck oh wow i love below deck i don't remember her but below deck is such a good show you should check it out i've seen a little bit of below deck it's one that's one of the ones that's on cable rotation because when we go on tour a lot of the hotels don't have casting

yeah you like really learn to love the shows that are on cable that's a good show to be like stuck with no I always get excited when there's like a Real Housewives or a Below Deck or a Kardashians versus just ridiculous I've seen every single fucking episode of ridiculousness

because of I've seen every episode except episode of Ridiculousness because of... I've seen every episode except for the one I was on. Did it ever come out? It came out. We should react to that for the Patreon. That'd be so fun. No, I would be so... I haven't watched it on purpose.

That's intentional, but I just blocked it out because I was so nervous. It's like, what the fuck? It's really... It's so much harder than it looks. Because I did that too, shot the pilot for a show that never came out but it was a ridiculousness spinoff and when i was sitting up there it was like i became the unfunniest person to ever walk because it's like ever we're able to be funny and witty

due to like the nature of the conversations that we're having like when i'm watching a video of a guy like peeing off a balcony like like that's why chanel west coast is perfect because she can always just pull out that laugh like yeah you know what i mean it's like this this felt like so like cool pee because yeah like yes i was shooting an episode but i was i was auditioning so like they they had like a few of us testing for chanel west coast spot oh yeah so like as nerve-wracking as it already is, imagine thinking, like, oh, like, I'm auditioning for this role.

And, like, she has the laugh. So, like, I thought, like, oh, my God, like, what am I gonna, I don't wanna, like, try to just be bubbly and stuff because, like, that's just not my personality. I just wanna be a hater. But I'm thinking, and they told me beforehand

way too much information they told me I was gonna like if I got the part or if I got like whatever it's 22 days I think they said it was 22 days

of the whole year that they film and it was 2.5 million dollars that I was gonna make for only 22 days of shooting it that's actually insane I don't know if I should even say that so then you're up there and you're like i don't know if i should say that like tell me what to do then so nervous that like i don't even i have no idea what i was saying and obviously i didn't get the role but oh but that also could have been like cancellation impacted like it's not your

performance right no it was before then but i probably would have lost it. They could have had me in the splits. Yeah, and also I was influenced by Steele O'Brien is so hot. So I was literally sitting next to him. It was weird too because he's asking me questions about me. I'm like, why are we talking? This is embarrassing.

He's like, how was your tour? I'm like, oh my god. What does he do? I always confuse him with CeeLo Green. What? That's just racist. CeeLo driving around town with the girl. Mine is like singing on podcasts. Trisha's robbing off on me.

CeeLo Brim is, he's the DJ, or not the DJ, but he's the one who, he's on Ridiculousness. He is the guy and he's super hot. And I've seen every single episode. I'm so stupid. Yeah. Like what? Where did you get all these snacks from?

Like, where did you, is there like a corner store around here? Did you hit the bodega? You get your orange drink. Aw, J-Lo. That's J-Lo. The block is J-Lo's Benz and Boone backflip. Uh-huh. I don't understand like his...

What's your bleach and tone? Mine? Yeah. Yours is Chris Miles' bro. Fuck. Fuck. You know what's funny is that got taken down. Like I posted to TikTok like

when TikTok was like gonna get banned or whatever. And I was just like going back and posting like a bunch of just like viral drafts and stuff. And I was like, this isn't a draft draft but this is fucking hilarious let me post it and it like still cracked like millions of views and then like i went to go look at it the other day because i was gonna show someone and it was like taken down for community guidelines like hateful speech or something like that yeah it was i was like damn talk will not let it slide unless of course it's my comment section in which case anything slides get her ass all of a sudden your videos

are promoted like without you doing anything oh my god but i was like damn they took it down and i remember like back in the day too on tiktok when it first started i would post tiktok sometimes like in this t-shirt that had lil wayne on it and he was smoking and every time i would post in that t-shirt my tiktoks would get taken down for community guidelines and i was like i was so confused for the longest time because i was like i'm not doing anything bad in these videos i'm really i'm just i will get ready with me he's taken down for community guidelines like it's just like it's just my face and your white tank top and your nipples out yeah I like had a coming to the other day because this really is my uniform like a Hanes white tank no bra it's kind of

slutty like over the years I was like wow that's like really I was talking about um on not love line the other day about the first time I ever realized I was a slut was because I asked Amari I was just like do you think I'm a slut and I was like probably like 17 18 Amari. I was just like, do you think I'm a slut? And I was like, probably like 17, 18 or something. And I was like, heavily expecting him to say no. Like, it's my best friend. He knows all the things I do,

whatever. And Amari just turned to me and he was like, yeah, you're a slut. Well, you need to keep people in your life. I didn't say,

yeah, you're a slut. I was just like, she was, she literally asked, she's like, do you think I'm a slut? And I was like,

yeah. I don't care. Duh, I don't care. we have the best time ever i don't give a fuck you're a slut and that's the thing too she's like he knows everything i do like i know everything you do you know we were we were talking about today that we thought was so funny so there's a funko pop museum on hollywood boulevard right now and you know what funko pop is yeah so they have a funko Pop of everybody you can possibly imagine.

Like if you can think of them and they are any sort of figure, it doesn't matter if they're like a housewife, they're on below deck, like they have a Funko Pop. What? So we're, me and Tana were talking about it today and we were like, how many Funko Pops do you think you've had sex with? I should try to find out. That's really funny.

Like how many people on your body count are in are like come in funko pop should we go to the funko pop museum yeah it was the best time i've ever had oh you went oh yeah it's like i walked there wait how do i even like how do i even get to the bottom of that wait let me look up does blank have a funko pop who i'm just being weird. Of course he does. Don't be ridiculous. He probably has 11. Oh, he doesn't have a Funko Pop. Damn, fell off.

He must have done something to them because they have like, they literally, T-Pain himself has seven of them. No way. I had to buy one because I'm obsessed with T-Pain. He doesn't know this. If I die and T-Pain. You guys know this. If I die

and T-Pain is not at my funeral, you guys have failed me. Wait, look. Oh my God. That's in my house. That literally looks like my father. He's in my house. I have Sasha.

Sasha Baron Cohen? No, Sasha. Like Supergirl Sasha. Oh. I bought hers because she's my only friend who's in Funko Pop

they should have a Tana Mongeau Funko Pop I'm sad that we don't have Funko Pops I get where Tana Mongeau Pickles being the top search is

everything nope no Funko Pop look at that fucking PNG photo of me the fashion girl the photo kills me the I fell off. The fashion girl. The photo kills me.

The fuck. And I know that look too. Wait, 596. That photo is saying I hate people. I love them. Without even saying it, I just look drunk. It's celebrity cutouts. Wait, is it a physical thing you can buy?

What a fucked up image to use. I love that image. You just have perfect skin. What a shame that you can't even get paid for that like people are buying that probably aaron wants to buy eight apparently so funny looking back at how swollen my face would be from drinking i met pamela anderson this day and i remember thinking god i look just like her put the bottle down hey best part about looking back on awful photos of yourself I don't know if you feel the same way

but I look back on the worst most despicable photos of myself and I'm never like the thought is always like I thought I looked amazing it's never like oh I knew I was ugly it's always like I thought I was literally the most beautiful person to ever grace this earth

no I went somewhere with Josie that night and I was like we are equal I ate her up mind you she's in like no makeup mogging

it's just brutal like me and my duff it's so fucking funny just like can i get a solo no it's like can i get a solo i'm starving i know you made me miss beef bulgogi night. I know. What's beef bulgogi night? Every Wednesday. 100 miles, like, create a menu and, like... That's cute. See, that's why I want a fucking boyfriend.

Like, I want some... I'm so jealous of you bitches in the sense that you guys get to, like, have sleepovers, like, every night, like, if not every night, most nights and stuff. Because, like, I've definitely learned to, like, be fine with being by by myself and i feel like that was a part of like being single for a while i was like okay i need to learn to like sleep alone i feel like even like when you and i would just have sleepovers like after i was like single i was like this isn't necessarily the healthiest thing like i need to learn how to sleep by myself uh-huh and and then i would beg like oh no and i was like well done sleep alone it's like no mart you need to sleep fucking alone like yeah and so

like i've finally been doing that and now i'm just like laying there like watching shit at night and i'm like like i love watching tv shows and i love watching movies and especially because now i'm like a lot more calm than i used to be but i'm just like damn i wish i had someone to like do this with but it also is like you love like how like you're not annoyed but you're like oh i wish miko would also watch good american family you know like because I wish Makoa would also watch Good American Family. Because you want to talk about it with them and stuff and get his take on things. And I'm like,

I wish I had someone to watch a show with and we could just fall asleep. It is great, but at the same time, I miss just being able to sit there and jack off for an hour. Well, I don't jack off. And then talk to myself.

And you know, Mari doesn't jack off. It's crazy. I've always just had had this mentality that's like if i want it that bad you need to go find someone to do it no put yourself out there i i think i got i guess i get that but i also like it's just no one does it quite like you you know i also like being like pleased by someone else i guess you know yeah i get that i have jacked off for boys but like girls it's like that no one else can do it i'll never forget the very first time that i like jacked off and came i was like i like didn't even know that like well i knew that my dick could get hard but i didn't know that like cum could come out of my dick is it

should this be on the patreon oh my god i can't imagine how shocking that must have been oh i was like so confused but also like fascinated and i was like why did that feel so good no i i remember my parents were like they went out to dinner late one night and i like i would love to like shower in my parents shower oh my god they're gonna hear this um and i would love to shower in their shower like whenever i had the opportunity because they just always it's the master it has the best shower and yeah i don't know i just like obviously going through period just like randomly started getting hard or whatever and then i literally like jacked off and came and i was just like i just did that in my coolest thing oh my god i and in my parents shower spider man in my parents shower that is crazy oh my god that's amazing i never had a wet dream

though i remember the first time i was always having them yeah you know what i'm sure well the first time you winked it yeah like really like successfully where i was like and i was old how old think like graduated college was there a toy involved or were you just yeah okay was it your first time using the toy i had been like yeah well no i don't know i can't remember. But I think I just wasn't using them hard enough. I love hard enough. It was something. Put it in sport.

It was. There was something to it. I think I just really need to stick with it, you know. Get the hang of it. You're like talking to the wall. I'm so close. Seriously. No, that's actually me.

I have now shared too much. Weren't we just talking about Jeff the other day? Hasn't he jacked off to himself in the mirror? Well, I just always tell Jeff that he's so the type of guy where I know he's coming to the thought of himself. I would. Yeah, I guess that's true. And he loves American Psycho so much that I'm like,

I know you've had sex to this like just one of those guys where are you guys most excited to go on tour internationally um australia where'd you say paris just because i want to fucking have you been there before no i've never been to europe paris is awesome i know i'm so excited and i'm just happy that bb's coming and my boyfriend's coming because i'm just gonna have like you need to make sure that you guys go back to that restaurant

that Paige took us to. Oh my God. There's this restaurant in Paris that's one of the best meals I've ever had. Isn't it called like Oligat? Yeah.

Is that right? I think that was like the style of like the potatoes maybe? But they make this and you'll love it because it's so meat centered. Yeah.

It's like a beef or like a steak. Surrounded in cabbage. Is it beef or is it steak? Probably both maybe steak actually i don't know mine was beef oh yeah but they make you these potatoes that are almost the texture of like pasta like when you pick them up they're like and they're so cheesy oh my god i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna find it for you literally right now because i can find it really fast. I was just showing someone this the other day

because one of my friends was in Paris and I was like, you need to go to this place. It's actually fucking nuts. And there's this place that everybody goes where you drink the red wine out of baby bottles, but I can never get a reservation. And I think it's always because I show up too hammered. Watch this.

Like that time you walked in with your nipples out oh my god something about like the way they smack uh-huh and that thing right there it's like cabbage and inside is just all meat yeah it was insane i feel like you're into like vintage designer stuff like there's a lot of cool like vintage designer shopping out there and stuff that i even like i'm not much of a designer person but i was like this stuff is so cool like me too i was always someone else but i was like damn i wish i wasn't shopping for someone else because i'd be shopping for me yeah i've always been like a i hate designer i don't believe in designer and just lately i've been like well but like it's it takes like things that i'm like oh my god like this is so it's an investment i love that purse that you recently got i love it but i already put shampoo all over it by accident oh my god five thousand dollars right the ysl

yeah well big body i was talking about trisha went on this whole tangent to me about how she needs to buy this bag but she's not gonna and then i get home and she texts me a photo and she goes i bought the bag in my sleep like i just found it in the house and i was like dying um literally how iconic no um thousand dollars for have you guys been seeing you know the how do i say her last name i always say katsuya ari kitsuya uh i love these say katsuya but i don't know exactly how to pronounce her last name but i think it's something like that like kitsa i'm obsessed with. I'm obsessed with the way her face like moves. She looks like. She's beautiful.

I love her voice. She is everything. Yeah. And her skits are hilarious. Yeah. Like she's so funny and so multifaceted and I'm obsessed.

But have you been keeping up with her lore online right now? Her and her, her and Jakardi broke up. So that's what gags me is the whole internet doesn't like know this guy. But like I found out about her because I'd known Jakardi for a really long time.

And it's actually funny because, well, I don't know. Pull up to the trap. Yeah, he was always just around, would straggle into anything we're ever doing. And one of our good friends was in love with him, one of our guy friends. And he's not gay, so it was just this ongoing thing forever. And he started dating her, and that's how i found out about her because someone was like jacardi's dating this girl and he's like managing her yada yada and they're making so much money and i was like okay managing her running her stuff i think yeah what never ends well i will just say for all girls like do

not let your boyfriend run your keep your business and your man separate no matter how much each and michael you're gonna do that they do do that and they got married and whatever but even marriage like i love mikoa so much but i would never put him in the position i would start a company with him right or i would do something like that but to run everything i've built for myself because it's just scary like it's you don't even no matter how much you love this person like you always have to especially just because I like even just growing up with my parents I would see like financial abuse and control and just you know it's shitty and it's like I don't know as a woman you have to protect yourself no matter what

but anyways they were dating and he cheated on her and she was giving she was like telling me the hold of you jacardi she was like telling me the... Old of you, Jakardi. And it's just so funny because we know him and it's like... I know, I knew him. I know him, but I'm like, I'm team her, whatever. No, same. I know him well enough to where I'm like, damn, that is like, how could you even do that?

She was giving me the details too and it was like some diabolical shit. Like, I don't want to air out her tea because like, you know. Jakardi. But like some diabolical shit. Like I don't want to air out her tea because like, you know. Jakardi. But like some diabolical shit and now she is like marketing genius. I love when a guy cheats on a girl and it puts her in like a, in her bag rage.

Like it's just. I just saw her with Girthmaster. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like when you cheat on a girl and she says, okay, bet I'm going to go work with girth master. Like, you know,

Jakardi's not giving girth master. No. His dick is huge. I've never seen it. It's on Twitter. Well, he's girth master on Twitter. Oh. Oh my God.

Wow. Seven inch girth. Oh. Oh my God. Wow. Seven inch girth? Yeah. Seven inch circumference? Yeah. God damn. Six six show off with a ludicrously

capacious cock. Like capacity. Oh. Capacious. Like that's crazy. Yeah. But I'm just like so happy for her

because it's like how iconic and you know she's making a trillion dollars off of that collab and it's just like that's crazy yeah but i'm just like so happy for her because it's like how iconic and you know she's making a trillion dollars off of that collab and it's just like her marketing skills are everything she said i'll get on a plane and fly 27 hours right now yeah and she was collabing with that girl um that we like kayla jade yes yeah i love her love her content i do not fuck with girth master anything get that away from me i would like actually like die i don't care seven inches around is crazy oh i couldn't even think about that because also like i mean it's i'm going to assume that it's easier to take a dick in your vagina than it is your asshole yeah definitely my shit would be bleeding. No, that's like hospital territory. Yeah.

Girth master. Whoa. I wish I had a cool name like that, though. Yeah, you could be like... Gusset goddess. Gusset goddess. But yeah, what's gusset? Damn, I want it.

Gusset. Long story. Dicks like that are fun to like suck, but not. No, talk about lock jaw. Yeah, I have a little mouth. Ew. So hot to look at. Look at it in the book. Holy shit.

Oh my God. It like doesn't even look like a dick. It looks like something you'd buy at Home Depot to like help you like install a windowsill. It gives you an idea when you like realize that like the tip just looks so like minuscule on it. You know? I don't even think

you could make a bigger tip. Oh my God. That's actually insane. The lighter sitting on it is so funny. Oh my God. That shit's allowed on Reddit. That's so funny.

If I was him I would like dress it up. I would like get little outfits for my dick. He probably has. I remember I saw... I go to Petco and get little sweaters. I saw something on his Twitter where he put it through a pizza box. Oh my god.

I get it completely. Oh my god. That's wild. You have to wonder what it's like to be born with an appendage like that. Or just anything. At what age do you think he was like my dick's huge i'm girthier than the rest right like sports or like did someone else tell him or like what'd you say aaron that's gotta suck

how old were you aaron huh i don't want to know about Aaron's dick size. Well, he said God kind of sucks. You missed it. You ruined everything. I can't change. Even if I tried. Even if I wanted to.

My love, my love, my love. We kind of hit that. You know, Trisha has, I'm going to her show in Vegas this weekend. And she was like, I want you to sing on stage with me. She's making me rap Hefner. Oh, my God. Like, I'm doing it for the first time in so long. And I'm so, I'm going to have to be so so medicated and we'll do a little viva las vegas but like where's hefner it's at the chelsea at the cosmo which we did and i'm so excited to go back

i obviously room ever every time we best green room ever every time we ever do a show at like a massive esteemed venue in my head as we leave I like take one good look around because in my head I'm like I will never be asked back like you don't think so yeah I guess I'm being

like a little facetious but like you know what I mean it's just such an honor and like the imposter yeah and you never want to get in the mindset of like yeah I'm gonna come play

this venue a hundred thousand times like you know it is so special up next O2 arena yeah exactly Chelsea was so crazy too because obviously it's like an interview in a um casino and stuff so like they pick you up with security and escort you through all like the secret hallways and like private elevators and like take you down like

you're fucking barack himself yeah and at one point i was banned from the cosmopolitan hotel so i think it felt extra special to have gone so far the other way i'm waiting for my resurgence at the win um it'll probably never happen but we're doing that what else are we doing page is coming with me we're gonna see donny osmond oh page is gonna go oh that's so exciting i know and donny and marie that's why my middle name is marie yeah so i'm excited for that. A little Holly Madison. How funny is it that I have the opportunity to wrap Hefner on stage

with Holly Madison there? That's so iconic. To me, it's the fact that Holly Madison literally bought tickets to our Vegas show, didn't even tell us,

showed up, watched it, and left. Yeah, like didn't come greet, like literally we found out on her story that like she attended.

It like, it blows my mind because like, I'm a on her story that like she attended it like it blows my mind because like i'm a super fan yeah i would have like carried her in myself like truly that show was crazy yeah doing venue stages like that i don't know how to explain it when they're like the stage is so big like that and it feels almost like it was massive like when the stage is so big and we just sit in our chairs it's like you know that was such a fun show it was and like when the stage is so big and we just sit in our chairs it's like you know that was such a fun show it was and like biggest audience too it was just like holy shit it felt so empty because like obviously like it's your hometown show but like and so it's an important

show to me but it's not as important as it is to her so i felt like i was like really excited by it but not nervous by it because it's like these aren't my friends or like my people so i like i just really wanted to be on that show weirdly in arizona i was so nervous to do it around your family and that venue was crazy because we were that was the only time i think we've ever done a show that's on a circle stage oh yeah and it's doing a show on a circle stage is so strange because it's like there are people like literally behind my back and it feels like you're in the crowd polar opposite of vegas because it's like a small stage in the middle of the crowd then we had some guy trying to like heckle and be nuts and get kicked out and I was like all paranoid literally like you know when something happens

to you when you're a kid and it's traumatizing and it stays with you for the rest of your life I had a dance competition one time but the only dance competition my mom will kill me forever saying this but one time she came to um watch me perform she and it was like it takes you know it takes forever sometimes there's like a million things before you randomly her drug dealer picked her up and she left and she missed my dance and i came off stage and like realized i was so devastated like I literally, I was unwell for months after that. And during the show, I watched my dad walk up and leave and never come back.

I was like... Oh my God. That's so sad. Arguably, it's like, just don't come. No, seriously. And I have such a thing about that. People coming and watching me,

I don't know why, because it's like, seriously, no one ever came to my anything. So I got so mad at him about that. Like people coming and like watching me. I don't know why. Cause it's like seriously, like no one ever came to my anything. So I got so mad at him about that. And he's literally like, I saw the whole thing. I didn't leave until after. And he like gave an example.

And it was like, that was literally in the first 10 minutes. No, that really is. And I like knew where they were. You know what I mean? Yeah. And the whole time I'm thinking like,

Oh, you're looking for them. Like, anyway, that was honestly like kind of dark no I just I'd be pissed

I was so upset you can't even get up to pee there's a company who's like known for their wide gusset chonies okay apparently like

they're the they're the company what is gusset still and they're interested in doing a collab with me no way yeah wait you have to.

Fuck your pickles. I got gusset. Yes. You said wide gusset chonies? So gusset's pussy. No, no. It's like a piece of fabric in it. It's like the piece of your pants that's like meant for your crotch.

A gusset. Why do you know that? It's like aglet. Well, I didn't know it. In fact, I used it in the wrong context approximately 30 times before I learned. Yeah. How were you using it before? Like gullet?

No, like I thought wide gusset was the under, like was the pussy. I thought it was for, chonies form my wide gusset, but apparently it's my, my, you know what I'm saying? Your Pikachu needs wide gusset. You know, that's why I stopped just because I didn't know how I was going to, what it's going to be like. Yeah, you know, that's why I stopped, just because I didn't know how I was going to, what I was going to do. Yeah, I was watching you go. Okay, I swear to God, I'm literally like Teresa Caputo,

because it's like I walked out there to use the restroom, and I was like skipping down the hall. I felt amazing. And then the second I walk back in here, it's like I'm like sweating, and I feel like. I know. Well, it is really hot in here, and we have been shooting for seven hours straight.

And I guess maybe that is just it, but I swear it's like I'm an energy reader and I know something. Is that who Teresa Caputo is? Yeah, she's a medium. Is she like Long Island medium? She is Long Island. Oh, really? She is Long Island medium.

Wow. I like that. I just feel like I'm like, wow. Should we give that? And what have I gotten all over these pants? You have it all over your jacket too. Did you paint something? Oh, I did paint in the app set. I can't wait to have one i know i'm so excited it's

my favorite sweat set in the world other colors no but we're thinking about a brown would hit a brown would hit we should just make them in every color a brown would hit but we did already release a sweat set in the dead of summer so maybe we do a summer color i remember like your dizzy dark green yeah i love that remember i remember when you guys all did the um the like tie-dye blue oh the tennis court oh that was like i was jealous because i was like kind of just getting into the group and while i got an invite an invite and i didn't that was such a funny day it was the worst day ever because me and j Jordan were like fighting so bad. Are you coming to pickle activities tomorrow?

I only barely got invited. Barely? It's crazy. I literally made a it's so funny too because I made a group chat because I know you like I've given you

if I give I only said that because there was a pickle activity already that I never heard about. That is true. That is true. Clocked your tea. Clocked my tea. i just i just i'm bad at thinking sometimes it just like happens through word of mouth

does miles like pickles i think so he likes everything he has like a lot of the same foods he's such an amazing cook and he cooks every single day every single meal so things that i didn't know i liked i like now because he makes them perfectly what was the hardest thing like that you had to adapt to in your guys's relationships it's like a way that he operates versus the way that you operate and honestly i'm gonna ask you the same thing nothing and that's well he was just so easy no like actually we kind of talked about this in the beginning but when we first started dating i was worried that like i was like oh it's just too easy and like something's like

feels off about that but like about to self-sabotage he's so agreeable and like he just doesn't want to fight and he's so like unproblematic like he just won't how old is he 37 oh what so he like he looks way younger never like if i'm like oh this bothered me he'd be like okay like i'll never do it again that's a man he's not like a pushover he's like like he stands his ground but like he's i we would just would never argue i don't know yeah he's simple and he listens and he takes like he's just such a like he's very gentle and like a like his parents are older and he kind of just like operates. He reminds me of my grandpa.

Oh, that's really sweet. And you love your grandpa. So much. And like the way he is to my grandma and like, you know, obviously my grandma like has to mention stuff and he like really takes care of her. Like my mindset in this relationship is like he would so do that. Yeah. That's awesome.

That's actually so cute. Like I know he would. Yeah, that's amazing. What about you what was like the i don't know if i've ever like respected someone the way i respect mikoa oh okay yeah like do you know what i mean like i just because i would go for these people obviously that like i don't know it was hard through sometimes their actions to possess like mikoa is such a respectable human yeah not that i've never like i've obviously just fucked things up with good people too but like i don't know like just things that i would normally immediately do or post or say or whatever while dating someone i now like won't you know what i mean and i just very much like really became like so wifey and

so devoted to this person like even just the other day jeff was saying like you're not fun on the podcast anymore because you're taken and i'm like it's true because like i would just say the fucking most out-of-pocket shit and like now i can't because like their actions like kind of instilled that upon you and you're like whatever they do this yeah yes or just like i don't respect them so it's like whatever yeah or i didn't care deep down wanting something to last, I guess. So it's kind of like when you don't care if something lasts deep down, you kind of like that bleeds into lots of your actions and whatnot. Yeah, like back to taking into account someone else's feelings about things and stuff.

Yeah, especially when someone doesn't always consider your feelings. Or just, again, I was in eras of my life where it might have been a great person, but I just wasn't ready for it or whatever but yeah i don't know yeah i think that's like the weirdest thing is like if you asked any person who stated me before they'd be like she's the most psychotic awful like girlfriend ever but like kind of the same thing you're saying it's like i just would never ever want to be bad yeah yeah because it's it's one thing when someone scolds you for being bad and it's another thing when like it's not even that like like you're disappointed in yourself if you act that way to this person who's so undeserving like i think that's yeah a lot of

what it is with mccall where it's like he wouldn't even have to say anything there have been times where like i was a fucking raging bitch i'm drinking and i'm being insane and it's not even like he's like cut that shit out it's like the next day i'm like why would i do that to this person that you know what i mean that i love so much you looked in the mirror yeah quite literally saw the reflection well thank you aaron i'm sorry thank you big daddy army don't sexualize him he's the one that says hey sexy to me when I walk up to him. We don't have human resources. You guys are HR. Period.

Yeah, he's gotten us into some serious trouble. Imagine like I was your guys' HR. You know what? It cracks me up. I got a DM today. Thank you.

You all know it's so funny. I got a DM today. I get so many random DMs like about your guys' You guys message me like this is my podcast. of all like it's really fun didn't someone message you recently trying to sell you a ticket yes someone was yeah someone was funny they were like they saw um i don't know if it was like a tiktok or a story or a tweet or something like that but they're like i saw your blah blah blah like um are you looking for a show to the tana mojo like

melbourne concert concert first of all and i was like that in itself was just hilarious so obviously i screenshotted it put it on my story and was like like oh my god i'd do anything for a ticket guys help me find one but i got a DM today. And it's just so funny to me because obviously I know people in their minds. Maybe he can't help. Or duh, reach for the stars. And what is it?

Reach for the stars. And if you miss, you land. Or reach for the moon, something like that. Reach for the moon. And if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Yeah, something like that. Whoa, I also got a DM about a foot fetish. That's weird.

I think that's snake um and what did they say so oh okay so i'm just a girl trying to get into neon carnival oh they're asking i thought this had to neon carnival well that also is really funny but i also get people like someone was messaging me about like how they're trying to get tickets like to your show all this stuff and i'm like so go to like canceled tour.com or whatever and the canceled podcast.com there we go the canceled podcast.com like do what do i look like ticket master it's so but i get so many dms that are like tana please like blah blah like it'll be like a novel and then at the end they'll just be like can you send this to her yes that too like can you please tell them

I'm on it what like sometimes I get like have fun too and respond to them because there was there was one person

your club appearance that you did in Miami there was this guy that DM'd me and was like I wanna go so bad like blah blah blah and I literally responded

and I go go then and then and then the next day he did go and you reposted his story and I was like there's no fucking way

but I literally was just like go then like because what the fuck well that one especially because it's like what does he literally want you to fly him out

yes exactly he was a Miami local but like still like what am I going to do Because what the fuck? Well, that one especially because it's like, what does he literally want? You didn't fly him out? Yes, exactly. He was a Miami local. But still, what am I going to do? And that one was free to the public. I can't believe we're doing a pop-up tomorrow. I just like, I'm like, I've never done a... I honestly just ran into Sydney Sweeney at her pop-up. I ran into Sydney Sweeney at her pop-up.

The Laneige one? I didn't go there. She was there and I passed by. Oh, and you were at the Grove and then just passed. I just want to know pop-up etiquette. What am I supposed to do? I feel like normally this is also like pop-ups are always for lattes and makeup products. 2018, you'd be like, what's up, motherfuckers?

Who wants a fucking pickle you're right I should just channel you all look so fucking sexy you wanna know something you wanna know some tea me and Tana I think have both been in talks with La La Land

to do like a drink separately which hers is probably gonna come before mine let's be real well no I ended up just deciding that I cause I was wanting to do the drink

cause I couldn't do the pickle like it's not that like I do drink coffee everyday but it's not a part of my plan well I drink La La Land everyday

yeah not to be like no I think it's I can see you getting yours first cause you be at the Grove well I just love La La Land so and it's more you

like it's cutesy and it's it's clean and it's cutesy and it's clean and it's on brand. She's like mud, water, mocha. I'm like a La La Land. I just love La La Land. I'm obsessed with the branding. I'm like,

I'm obsessed with anything that has cute packaging. Yeah, they do have really cute cups. Their little heart straws. Oh, yes. Bend me over. And so they just really got me

with their like, like just from the instant I saw them and literally have been ordering it i ordered it every single day for like six i think they're sold on the pitch i'm telling you i'm telling you why this was so exciting for me so then they asked me to do a drink and i was so excited i went and i had my meeting with them and they take you like on the third at the third straight location there's like an um a secret upstairs like um oh yeah yeah type situation they brought me in there and i've got to try every drink on the menu we were talking about like flavors and stuff and i was like i want to do a chair like because they had just done the banana i like where you're going you know they took that from they took it

from suede and gave it to heidi and spencer well they were for good reason but like damn well no i don't know it's like make a new damn. Well, no, I don't know. It's like, make a new flavor. Yeah, make a new flavor. I don't know anything about that, but,

I, I stand with Lala. Well, so I'm like, trying to think of how to make it creative, because I'm like, well, they've already done,

they already have a strawberry, they have banana cream that's new, and I was like, oh my God, I'm going to do cherry. Amazing. Cherry. Sounds delicious.

How cute is that? because it was going to be like, a springtime release, so it was going to be like, With the matcha, like the red and Cherry. Sounds delicious. How cute is that? Like, because it was going to be like a springtime release. So it was going to be like the matcha, like the red and the green. Yes. How cute is that? Yeah. What happened?

Sydney Sweeney, cherry drink at her pop up. Oh, like you pitched the idea. Oh fuck. And like, I live and die for her, but like by the time they get to me,

we're going to be at like dingleberry fucking green top you're like outsourcing fruit from the international tour like I brought home a durian there's not gonna be nothing left

that is brutal and I'm sure she had nothing to do with it but I'm like but finding a good idea and being like she's you know what you know what would be better for this yeah no that's why it's brutal And I'm sure she had nothing to do with it, but I'm like, but finding a good idea and being like,

she's, you know what, you know what would be better for this? Yeah, no, that's why it's brutal. It has nothing to do with Sydney Sweeney. Even Swaids,

like I remember that happening, like, cause we were just talking about it within the friend group, like whatever. Swaid had her banana drink and then they gave it to Heidi and Spencer. I just remember being like, that is shitty. Like Swaids,

Swaids out there fucking making the drink and the shenanigans and then like Heidi and Spencer come along. Like it is probably just like, that is shitty. Like, Suede's out there fucking making the drink and the shenanigans. And then, like, Heidi and Spencer come along. Like, it is probably just, like, everyone can have a new flavor. Like, it doesn't, you know. So when you see Brooke with a panello cream cold foam drink at La La Land Cafe, ask no questions

because there were no more fruits. We're out. I'm going to have, like, a beef-flavored latte. Beef cream top. You remember when that girl Brooke Monk Beat up her dog And then she accidentally uploaded That wasn't Brooke Monk I didn't mean Brooke Monk

I was like wait that sweet little girl Did not beat her dog up I know who you're talking about Good on you though we need him here more often Like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Brooke Monk You know how often we do that Like different good on you though we need him here more often like whoa whoa whoa Brooke Monk no you know how often

like we do that like first and last names and we'll both be like yes no because if you pulled up Brooke Monk like we did that recently

with something so funny and I just like oh I think I know what you're talking about and I was like I watched it back and I was like there's no

we'll actually be like Amelia Gray flew that plane into the Bermuda Triangle. It was exactly like that. And she got eaten by crabs. Yeah. It was like, it was us on a guest episode. It was like with Jeffree Star. And it was all three of us, like collectively said exactly the wrong name. And we were like, yep.

That was so funny. So anyways, the girl who did do that what's your worst fear she uploaded the raw footage that's like my biggest fear is like accidentally uploading like the unedited you know it's so crazy mine was my brand deals like oh my god because i'll be i'll be cracking the funniest jokes and brand deals that obviously will never make the cut and it's like it's also funny when brands think they can get raw footage for you like when we like we want the raw footage it's like are you fucking crazy yeah no I snorted

my snot 37 times yeah like you're not getting that like we can make it look like the raw footage brands ask you for raw footage I've been asked for raw footage before and I'm just like

are you fucking crazy brands don't even want my raw footage like that's truly never happened they're like you actually sent us too much

yeah no later I'll always do that especially when they want like UGC from it and stuff because they want to like edit it themselves and stuff

and it's like no no no no no no one thing no one's that. Especially when they want like UGC from it and stuff because they want to like edit it themselves and stuff. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. One thing no one's ever going to want from me is UGC. What is that? User generated content. Like you're giving them content that you don't necessarily have to post. You're just giving them,

like when I did that like Nike deal a long time ago, like I had to give them stuff for like their website. But it's like kind of, it's the type of thing like a super aesthetic person would do because it's like the brand wants to use it, repurpose it as their own content. Oh my God. that's why i've never been i have no idea what it's even called what do you want cheeto fingers on your crop top it pays so much and like so yeah so many of like the really like aesthetic girls do it because like they you don't even have to

post it on your own thing but like brands like will pay for like a really stylish like aesthetic girl to like take trendy photos of like the coffee and the yeah that makes sense that's why when i did damn i truly am finding out about this today and it tells you everything you need to know that's why when i did that shoot i hired hunter to shoot it because i was like they want ugc they're paying me a fucking bag yeah they'll have hunter do it because like cool on both ends you know but it genuinely like it seems like the hardest job in the world to me oh my god my God. I could never. I try like literally even this weekend in San Diego.

I was trying to take one fucking aesthetic photo. I have permanent chicken grease on my fucking iPhone. Me too. Same lately. I don't know what's what's in the air. No. And it's like I bought this brand new iPhone. Please.

Anybody let me know in the comments. Well, did anybody else buy a brand new iPhone? And then the camera. Everyone. Mind you, everyone else is like this camera quality is crazy i'm throwing away my dslr and i'm like i bought a 3gs no this is well i still have a i think i have like the 15 or something which like oh no you have an iphone 15 but wait same i'm confused like switches between the cameras like i'll be like a totally normal distance away from murph why Why can't I fucking see Murph?

Yeah. And it's, like, even if. It switches between cameras. Like, it's never the right one. It's always doing its own thing. No, and it's brutal. Like, Makoa and I will be taking the same photo, and we have the same phone, and his is so gorgeous.

And I'm like, my camera's cleaned off. I can have other people try to fuck with the settings. Like, it just. Granted, I have, like, 200,000 items in my camera roll. So maybe it's, like. No, I don't think that should have any impact on it at all. I keep buying new phones in hopes that I get this new mystical camera that everyone speaks of. And I just keep getting toaster qual.

Oh, my God. I saw this video. Do you know? I really struggle with like what the fuck is a camera and how does it work? And how do we take photos? And more importantly, how the fuck do we take videos? It doesn't make sense to me. Like that's what seems like magic.

But this man. So funny that you have these thoughts and you don't even smoke weed no this is like a totally normal thought this man finds cans in in um the wilderness like when he's just hiking a mountain cuts the top off he puts photo paper inside pokes a pin size hole in the in uh the thing and that like that pinhole is your camera and then he sets it down in front of like a beautiful landscape leaves it there for a few days with like a top on it and it literally takes a photo like that pinhole like the light shining through that hole burns the image onto the photo paper and then you can develop it as a fully like processed beautiful like photo imagine he's just

taking the photo on a camera and lying and he could because i don't fucking know how it works that's insane that's some that's some science no it's but it's really crazy how simple it is but also how i cannot wrap this fucking pea brain around it no because it's not simple that makes no fucking sense that this piece of paper and this can can take a photograph photograph or phones i can talk to i can talk to michaela testa down under and she can hear me in the exact moment that i am saying this in america i couldn't agree more facetime is even crazy if you think about it no i remember when that ashley tisdale uh movie came out when they like were talking like facetiming but like it was

before we had FaceTime we were like could you imagine if we could really do that yeah and now it's just like a thing because you were talking about photographs it got me thinking about Ed Sheeran because the song Photograph he got added to the Weekend 2 lineup yeah that's what I heard

I'm livid okay are you guys Weezer fans? Island in the Sun who? okay one you guys weezer fans island in the sun who okay one weekend got weezer and one weekend got ed sheeran and maybe i'm just such an ed sheeran fan but why do i feel like that's one weekend getting michaela testa and one weekend getting anna paul wait is we or are they like no that was like bad i was just saying like way better is one oh way better is one yes ed sheeran i love it love ed sheeran so much he was my first i'm not hating on weezer it's just like ed sheeran live

just even feels like i've never learned like his he was one of the first musicians the first musician i ever learned an album every word to every song front to back that's the best back in like middle school that's you cannot hate on old ed sheeran i remember i told sam goldbach or sam goldbach once that he looked like hot Ed Sheeran and he was so offended all right you guys we have officially been at the cancelled studio for a trillion hours

but we love you all so so so much by the time you see this we will be on our international tour if there are any tickets left or anything please come see us and we love you so much we're gonna miss our little haunted studio while we're gone and Amari thank you for joining us thanks for having me i had a

great time my first time in here i don't feel like haunted slutty little third co-host see you in melbourne bye you