Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 21: Episode 21: Planning Tanacon 2 with Tim Dillon

Episode Date: January 24, 2022

In this episode Tana and Brooke are joined by Tim Dillon. They discuss the Hype House Netflix show, Joe Rogan, David Dobrik, their feud with Impaulsive, and a romantic entanglement with O.J. Simpson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I object! Look how good my life is. So what else? Canceled. I object. Look how good my life is. So what else? Canceled. Time to murder is canceled. Hello and welcome back to the Canceled Podcast. Today we are here with one of my favorite people on this planet. I don't even know how I got you to agree to this.

It was a text. It was very easy. It was very easy. I like the intro. I like it. It's black and white. Yeah. Kind of like your newspaper reporter.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's fun. Yeah. We are here today with Tim Dillon, who is one of, in my opinion, the greatest comedians of all time. Well, that's very, very overdoing it, but that is sweet. You don't agree? I think I'm good enough, but I mean, that's a very big compliment. You are the funniest motherfucker I've literally ever met. And I've been saving actually getting to know you for this podcast

I appreciate that I also monetize most of my life and refuse to have any meaningful interaction outside of an ad supported platform exactly I can't really bond with people unless there's money I look at you as like you're kind of

and I know you said you like, I don't know if the definition fits, but you're like an OG YouTuber. You've been around. It's so weird to think about because I don't look at myself like that when I think of OGs. I think of like prestigious. And I just somehow made it like a cockroach. Like I'm just, I somehow live. You serve, well, the thing I've always said about you, I said you were born in Vegas.

And I, which is amazing because I think people that are born in Vegas just immediately die like I can't imagine someone thriving coming from Las Vegas but you have it's like amazing to watch like the whole thing I think it's great it's a really true no my parents took me to Tanacon when I was little. Oh my God. I was a kid. No, kid, that's a lie. That's, no. It would have been. It's like I got a third degree burn. Yeah.

We were standing outside screaming. My mother got melanoma. But you know what? We all realized that it was, it's the thought that counts. This is everything I know. I kept saying that. She wants us to be inside.

I kept saying that. Yo, this podcast is going to be unhinged because it's going to be me just screaming the entire time. Because you're the funniest fucking person ever. I like that it's canceled. I mean, it's very, this is aggressive. The branding is aggressive. What I like is you kind of want issues. You want problems.

I've always been this way. Yeah, no, no, no. You want, you like a little blood in the water 100% metaphorically literally there's nothing wrong with that I don't know why that is I've always wanted issues I think it's the trauma but now again

monetizing off the trauma you've got to keep the people invested and the way to do that I think a lot of times is with chaos and war chaos and war oh That's exactly right. Chaos and war. Oh, my God. I really just, I don't even want to talk.

I just want to let you keep fucking talking. It's insane. I just, you are so unapologetically you, and you say whatever the fuck is on your mind. They know what they're getting. I feel like they click on, you know what you're getting. And if you're upset about that, I don't, you know. But I love that.

I really am clicking on you every single second. I think you're amazing. You are just going like kind of viral for giving your opinion on the hype house. And I was like, I am so happy to have this man on during this time. Well, I like, first of all, I like, I think the idea of child millionaires is very funny.

And I like it. And I like during the pandemic, when I would go to BOA, all of these young kids who were running la because all the older celebrities were afraid of getting canceled so they wouldn't leave but these young children were like running la and they would pull up in these cars and they get out there was mobs of them there was like flash mobs of like these toddlers that were just strolling through boa and just coked out at Boa 15 millionaires.

you know, the waiters and waitresses have to explain to them what Brussels sprouts are. And it's such a, it was so crazy. And only in LA does that happen.

Like New York where I'm from, which is like a real city, we don't allow that. You can't have that happen. But here, like Saddle Ranch became one of the biggest restaurants in Los Angeles. Saddle Ranch became one of the biggest restaurants in Los Angeles.

Saddle Ranch is objectively disgusting. It's chicken fingers. It's people eating chicken fingers. But these children, these, you know, these kids made it like a famous. So it's interesting to me. And I realize like I'm like behind the scenes, it's got to be crazy, right? Everybody's fucking each other. Drugs. They hate their parents.

Fuck you. You know, they love Trump. Probably many of them. I'm guessing. And you know, you know, so I like you because I want to see that. I want to see like the real shit. And then the Hype House show was just very dull and kind of disappointing to me because it was everybody trying to be a good person. shit and then the Hype House show which is very dull and kind of disappointing to me because it

was everybody trying to be a good person like I know everyone's politically correct now and has to be for their brands but like I want to see the real shit like I want to see Addison Rae go I love Trump you know what I mean because the thing is she's from she's from Louisiana she's she's full of crawfish and hate let let it but it's funnier if she, and I get it, there's things I love about Trump, but like, I can say that. But with people, you know, certain people have to, you know. No, we would 100% just love to see her own it.

I agree. We want to see people own it. That's the exact, that's the thing, you know. That's where he just came out and said, you know what, I said hi to him at that event, man. Yeah, fuck y'all. Fuck y'all. Everybody from where I grew up loves him.

We love him. Fuck y'all. I've been in this town 15 minutes, you know, like, so I just hope that one day they make a real show. Now it may need to be years later when all the brands have gone away and everybody's getting out of rehab because that is what's going to happen. That's where it gets tricky for real no it is for real because i mean you just can't you know it's i know it's insane i think because a lot of my life is kind of seeing

that you know like all these kids with them what they actually do and that's that's what we try to do here here's what i always say strip that away you did it you're 18 you're a millionaire you're fucking the hottest people in the world to you you're you're you're on top of the world it's not gonna get well in their world right in there you know it's not gonna get better it doesn't get better what do you think of Bryce Hall I like him I like him a lot my favorite thing about him I really do like him my favorite thing about him is after he lost a fight he went I'm not a fighter I never said I was a fighter it was the greatest line it was one of the funniest lines because he had said he was a fighter, but the best way to deal with it,

the best way to deal with it, which was kind of a brilliant thing. I don't know whether he did it on purpose or not. When he said, I never said I was a fighter. It was the funniest, best way to deal with it because it gives everybody nowhere to go.

It's just, it's the ultimate troll and it's fucking great. But he seems to be a fun i wish with bryce it was like purposeful like he definitely like he don't know i think i love bryce i don't know i think he said that with his chest i think he meant it whatever it was it was like the really it was the most brilliant thing to say at that moment but he's it got hard you know the kids got heart and you know good for him i think he did okay it made me think of him it's weird as an adult to watch children because some of them were kids not a lot of them were like

built dudes but then there was like some of them were like literal children who couldn't fight and are just going like this and i'm like man i don't know how great it is for our society to just be watching these 12-year-olds pummel each other for like Rockstar Games or who's ever sponsoring this. You know, but hey, people enjoy it. Would you ever fight? Who would you fight?

Chelsea Handler. Oh my God. I'd lose. I'd lose. I love that bitch. I'd lose, but I would, you know, we'd fight, I think. I found this.

Yeah, this is a terrifying image that someone painted. A lot of my fans are in the depths of a very long, dark despair. For two. Yeah, no, I imagine. I imagine. It's so true. When you did that whole thing about your stalker, I'm like, is it one stalker? It's got to be like a-

I feel like they probably have like a group chat. The percentage of your fan base is creepy. Right? Because you have the only fans in kind. Yeah, it's either like gross men who you know, they're just jerking their meat to my shit. Right. Or it's you know, young traumatized girls

and or guys who want to be like me, which is also, I'm praying for them as well. It's a lot of the mix. But do you get fan art? Do people paint you? Yes. Some people paint me and this is a really scary image. I found it in my makeup chair here.

It has a very bad energy to it. Well, number one, there's a nuclear explosion in the back. That's a minor detail. That's where they are in their head. There's a nuclear bomb, I believe. Yeah, I know. Which is not, I get it.

You look gorgeous though. That's very sweet. It's very sculpted. Yeah, I've kept it. Cross-eyed. I've kept it, though, as a creepy Tim Dillon fan. It's been here.

Please keep it. We got here day one and it was just here by the makeup chair and I was like, this is a sign. Wait, why? Just keep it.

I have no idea why it was here, actually. I'm just really happy that it's here. I don't know. Yeah. But I want to talk to you about so many things, I guess.

I mean, I want to know. I found you probably like like six months ago yeah it's more of a new thing i was actually fucking this guy that i've known since high school yes and we stopped fucking for him to show me you which is kind of a strange thing it's an odd place to inject me into i'm not i was naked like it was like round two was happening then he was like check out Tim Dillon but then I was like whoa I love Tim Dillon and that was how

things kind of came about well I appreciate that and I've been curious like how long have you been doing this I've been a comedian since late 2010 really

and I started doing a podcast in 2015 yeah and it started getting popular I would say in like 2018 yeah and I moved to LA about that time.

Really? And I focused on like making sketches and doing a podcast and doing more shit online because I love standup and I do a lot of standup and I love the art form of standup. But as you know, the internet's the future and it's the now, it's not even the future. It's literally, this is where you gotta be.

So I just focused on being funny online and then just kind of doing the stuff that I wanted to do. What made you want to be a comedian? My mother's a schizophrenic. Me too. I started doing coke at 13. Really? I think same.

So you relate to the Hype House kids. It's giving Hype House. I had a fucked up childhood. Yeah, I was doing all the things they were doing, but it wasn't in a mansion. There was no mansion. There was no fucking. Felt that. You know, and I was also like, I could have, you know, like maybe, you know, built a brand,

but I had no idea. I was, there was nothing to do, right? Except, you know, do blow in the suburbs and do a lot of drugs and. Yeah, wait, where are you from? Did you say that? Long Island, New York. Oh, okay. A few towns from Lindsay Lohan.

Oh, okay. Ooh, thoughts on Lindsay Lohan. Oh, okay. Thoughts on Lindsay Lohan. Have you ever met her? Fun, like her. Everyone from Long Island I like because even though they're, you know, often horrible people, and I don't know that she is.

I don't know anything about her, but I like that she's, you know, real. Like, she's real to me. She's not really a great actress. And yet, yeah, she's not really great at that. So I think she's, like, amazing. That's what's, like, awful about my... Well, you're mentally ill, and that's okay.

But she's not great. And the music is not great, right? The music is crazy. It's really awful. But people like that are my idols. You know, I'm like, I want to make shit music. I like that she's still around. Even though we can't point to one thing she does and go, that's good.

She was in Dubai for like 10 years. That is literally why she's my idol. You cannot point to one thing I do. You can't point to one thing and go, that was a good thing. Thank you for that. It is a talent in itself, though, to capitalize on having very little talent. It's a talent in itself to just hang on. Hats off to that.

Just hang on. I'm a big fan, baby. With those nicotine-stained fingers, just grab on to fame and just keep it going. Currently actually a nicotine-stained nail. Amazing. Amazing. I mean, that's amazing. It's awful.

Do you smoke weed? Have you ever smoked weed? I have, but I'm sober now. So I don't do anything now. Why'd you go sober? Well, I thought it was the right move. I mean, I was like, I think 25. I was like, I got to get serious about my life.

Maybe I'll do it then. I'm 25. How old are you now? I'm 23. It's amazing how much you've done at such a young age. Thank you. That's crazy. You are literally my biggest person ever.

I don't think of you as 23. You look young, but I you as someone i don't think i look that young well i don't either but i'm just i'm just walking it back but i think of you i don't think she looks old but i think of you as established and and mature oh i love that it's all just odd i'm just kidding yeah um but i had a scandal for being 40 like people actually would show your ID I had to tweet it like it was like a worldwide scandal well Whitney Cummings claims she's 37

you know yeah fair yeah so I mean so anyone could just make anything up she's so hot though you think she is very hot for someone

who's in her early 50s why is that literally me you know yeah but Whitney says she's 37 so anyone can say anything and that's the beauty of this town

do you think she'd fuck me I think if there was a brand deal involved she would fuck anything and why is that me i mean everyone says that no i mean whitney if there's a brand deal around whitney will do kegels with the domilio girl she doesn't care i went over her house one night the cast of cheer was there i'm like what is what what what does this have to do So it's all these like little meth head girls who do cheerleading and Whitney Cummings is like dancing in the backyard and they're all on ketamine. And you know, I mean, God love them, but it's, and I'm impressed by it.

Right. Because that, I mean, again, it's like, just, you gotta stay irrelevant. You gotta stay in the game no matter what you have to do. Have I done ketamine to stay relevant? Absolutely. I completely, I present. No, I actually don't really like ketamine. It makes me feel like a horse, a tranquilized horse.

I'm not actually, that's the point. Yeah. I know, but it's awful. I used to do it and I enjoyed it. They say they're really depressed. I've done it by accident. Enjoy ketamine. Yeah.

I mean, I, you know, I just decided to kind of cut all of that stuff out, but I have problems. I'll smoke cigarettes occasionally, and I'll eat the wrong foods, and that king crab gnocchi at Boa's is really good. Oh, my God. But you look great, and I notice you eat a lot of shit. I eat awfully. You eat really badly because I watch your Instagram stories.

Rotting burrito, like from three days ago. It's balanced out by the way that she doesn't wake up until 8 p.m. You eat like a Dallas housewife with one leg. I couldn't agree more. You do. No, I see what she eats. She's just putting broccoli and like cheese.

But you look great. Broccoli, babe. Haven't had that in fucking years. But you look great. Well, thank you so, so, so much. I really, it's going to catch up to me. Oh, no, it will. It's going to be a day, like a couple years from now, I'm gonna be 26 and i'm gonna be rolling you down this street i'm gonna look like

donatella versace at like by 26 yeah tana is a super spreader no that honestly was the question i just didn't want to be the one to say it no i i think i think listen the reality is a lot of the influencers are young they're healthy they're in good shape they're not at a ton of the influencers are young, they're healthy, they're in good shape. They're not at a ton of risk. They're not in an insane amount of risk. It's not like you're going into nursing homes and popping your pussy

while people are dying. Don't underestimate my girl. No, I mean, honestly, I would pop my pussy in a nursing home. That's not my demographic. That's not your demo.

Haven't been there yet. But I mean, I get what you're saying. I'm not making out with Bryce Hall in a nursing home and I watched the whole stalker story

that's so insane to me and it is it is crazy you're a great communicator and you're funny and it's sad that people are stalking you but we

it's also really good for the brand I don't think I'd have anything if it wasn't for the stalker story no you need to have people trying to climb in your windows and kill you I couldn't agree more

it keeps you fresh I'm also yeah I'm completely for clout if anything though I think if my life was just stable You need to have people trying to climb in your windows and kill you. I couldn't agree more. It keeps you fresh. I'm also completely for clout. If anything, though, I think if my life was just stable and boring, I would be really dissatisfied. Right. And that's definitely like a therapy thing. Like I should probably figure that out. But I mean.

No, I think I identify with that. You got to keep the chaos. Yeah. Are you a chaotic person? Have you ever cheated on someone? In the gay world, there's no such thing as cheating, really. Really? See, this is why I'm pansexual. That's a loophole for you. Yeah, no, I don't.

Can you actually verbatim tell that to every girl I've ever dated? Yeah, I mean, well, that might be different, but I feel like there's more freedom there than the straight world. But not always. Not for me, no. But if you're living that life i'm serious hats off yeah like so so yeah do you do you date often i have people i hang out with more than

well like like but i don't know if it's like a formal thing where like it's like we're gonna get married like in the straight world it's like things build to things which is awful yeah well not for some people which is how it works or they don't, which is how it works for me every time. I think it's like we're having fun. I'm having fun, hopefully. Have you ever been in love? I think maybe. Wait, do you feel like you possess non-emotional or sociopathic tendencies? Absolutely.

I think you kind of have to in this town to have some level of success. I agree. I think everyone. I'm like, darn it. I think it's a. I agree. I think everyone. I'm not. I think it's a spectrum of sociopathy. Like I'm not. No but you you know. We love you. I think in the LA world. I have narcissistic tendencies but I'm also like so emotional so I don't

like the sociopathic side. And that's what makes you a far better individual than me. You can't feel everything. I'm also far less successful. No. You can't feel everything in la right you have to put some of it you have to tuck it away and then push it down and i'm trying to feel anything deal with it later or after your death because you know what's funny about doing this is everyone that comes on you have such a history with 100 like everyone who's come down comes on here like you've

slept with or you like no yeah you can stop there that's a lot of them or you've been in relationships with them or they that you've stolen from them or they've stolen from you or you've no yeah you can stop there that's true for everybody or you've been in relationships with them or you've stolen from them or they've stolen from you or you've been in a lawsuit with them or you've called the cops on each other

or there's been a domestic a B&E a breaking and entering no one pressed charges like there's been a lot of like when I watch it every now and then

there's such a deep history and I feel like because you've never like tried to attack me with anything you are one of the worst guests I haven't slandered fucked or seen. Yeah, I'm new. I'm excited.

And you're just so enamoring. Usually the podcast you'll sit down, someone will sit down and you're like, alright, this is my bestie, you ate my ass I tried to kill you, water under the bridge. And it's so awful that I'm like that. I just really have to stop doing that. Well, you know what it is? The people love

it. The people need it. You're like Tina Turner, but you beat yourself. You know what I mean? Like if there was no like. I couldn't. I actually, I really do think I beat myself often, metaphorically, if anything, with the ways I choose to ruin my own life. It's awful. Now the canceling,

it gets wild with the YouTubers. I was just going to say, yeah, it's crazy because I canceling how it gets wild with the youtubers yeah it's it's crazy because i used to really live and think it was the end of the world i remember the first time i was canceled i was like oh i'll just kill myself it's right i lived and i now i'll die and it's you know it's nothing else i the first time not oh okay yeah um now it's it's you know you build up a wall to it well i think i also kind of came up in this influencer space and the canceling in the beginning was like detrimental life ending. You think it's all over.

Right, because it's a mob of people telling you all the time to like kill yourself. And you think everything you've worked for is gone. That's like the D'Amelio show, which was kind of funny, where it's like the girls, because you know the parents are like, you know, because they have no interest in I'm scared. No, no, I'm not going to say anything, but I just what's great about those parents is they have no interest

in fame or money. None. So what's funny about that show is they were like they were like, yeah, I'm not going to say anything, but what's great about those parents is they have no interest in fame or money. None. So what's funny about that show is they were like, yeah, if it ever gets too much for the girls, we'll yank them out of LA. Literally the first episode, the girls are like, everyone's saying I should kill myself. And they're like, wipe that turd off your shoulder. They're like, sometimes I don't want to live.

They're like, come on, get out of here. And then they're like, if it ever gets too much, if it's ever too much, if it ever hurts our family, we're moving out of here. They're in like a huge castle. They're like, yeah, if it ever gets too much, if it's ever too much, if it ever hurts our family, we're moving out of here. They're in like a huge castle. They're like, yeah, if it's ever too much. Holy fuck. I'm not going to lie.

I respect them. I respect them too. Well, they're better parents than most. I was just in an LA club. Well, they haven't sued the girls yet. Right. Yeah. So my standards are also, you know, bare minimum.

It's basement. I was in an LA club the other night. I'm one of the more famous parents in this space I won't say who they were I saw them doing a bunch of cocaine and I was like holy shit

yeah yeah everywhere I know who it is I know who it is he's everywhere trying to hook up with girls our age

I absolutely know who it is and you yeah oh totally so much cocaine and they're the parent of this. Fun guy, though. Can we be honest? Super.

Fun guy. What is he supposed to do? Go to the library? 100%. Life worked out. Listen, if you have a daughter or son, and they're making tens of millions of dollars jumping on a trampoline,

you are supposed to go out to LA and shove grout in your face. Honestly, truly, I guess my thought in my head in that moment was like, at least the D'Amelios don't do cocaine. Again, I'm at the Berman. They are great though. I do love them, but the other parents.

Would you ever have a kid and make them famous? If I had a child, it would only be to make them famous. I would never want them to have any other experience on the planet than being as famous and rich as humanly possible from the youngest age. Like if I could train my two or three-year-old to start thinking in terms of brand identification early, I would. I have no interest in a child that's like trying to read books or form relationships all they're reading is talking points yeah no I want I want fame now what happens to these kids

because you know some of the magcon you remember the magcon yeah some of those magcon kids you know it's it's rough I'm on and off dating a magcon kid it's awful well god bless her to be off but is it hard when because you know is it hard when you grow up in that influencer space? No, I mean, I look at like- Is it difficult to transition in other things? It seems like it. Like Cameron Dallas was the face of MadCon forever. And I like, I've known him for a long time.

There was that show on Netflix. Chasing Cameron. He used to just be- He seemed like a nice dude too. Like a good guy. He used to be a monster though. Insane. Oh, I didn't know.

Like, no, but I just mean partying insane. Right. Bitches insane. Insane. Like more than anyone I've ever seen. But that's the point. monster though insane like no but i just mean partying insane right bitches insane like more than anyone i've ever seen that's the point but now he's like our god is greater and he's fully fucking but that's what you do yeah after it's over you move to orange county you marry a baseball player and you go to one of those churches where they rock out and they go jesus wants you to own a boat and you just and you dance around because there's nothing left to do it's really the way

that's the plan all the happiness out of you so there's two nothing left to do. It's really the way that's the plan. You fucked all the happiness out of you. So there's two things left to do, drugs or Orange County Christian mosaic culture. And I'm not going to lie, I'm taking notes. Like that is in two years. I think I need to do that. God bless, man. I see you choosing drugs, actually. I do too, but I'm just saying if in the off chance I can somehow choose the latter.

Listen, I'm ready for you. Baseball player, Orange County, God wants you to have a boat. That would be great for me. But like, I think that that's what a lot of the influencers end up doing if they don't trade like Shawn Mendes transitioned into this massive career. Yeah. Do you think that like the Madcon kids are like people who grew up in that era, like regret it?

Like, cause now they see like Addison. Well, I think what happened is like, there was no infrastructure there. Like people, people were podcasting years ago and there was no money in it. so i think with those kids or whatever i don't know much about it but i think there was not an infrastructure to build the type of businesses around them yeah that now because now like which leads to great depression as well i'd be so fucking depressed because here's the thing like you see these kids now and they just people descend upon them and show them like i remember like you josh richards is like a a business guy and he's like doing all these, you know,

Josh Richards is almost modern day. That's why Michael Gruen, which would be crazy. You know, Michael Gruen. Oh yeah. So Michael Gruen would put me in group texts with like tick tockers and then big business people.

And I didn't know why I was in any of them. And Michael Gruen would just text me and go, Tim meet Warren Buffett and Bryce Hall. And I'd go, what are we doing here? It's so fucking strange. Gruen's famous for just putting you in a group text with people that have nothing. He's like, here's Eric Schmidt that runs Google

and, you know, Ryland Storm. I'm like, dude, what is this? Why are we doing this? That's actually so true. The MadCon kids were unfortunately the blueprint for kind of doing it without that accessibility. So Gruen's one of those dudes who like helps these kids make money right? Oh yeah.

He's a smart guy. Oh yeah. He's like you know. He just got a gastric. He's doing good. They saw him in half and I appreciate it. A bypass. Yeah he's open about it and he's loving it. I know him. I don't know a lot about him. I just hear really wild rumors about him all the time. He's an amazing, he's a legendary guy.

He's a Batman villain. Is he? Yeah, he's an amazing guy. I'm a huge fan. Okay, I love that. I really don't know a lot about him, but I mean, it is incredible. Have you ever been like canceled in this space?

How do you feel about cancellation? People get mad at me all the time for many different things. I have no idea why. I don't mean to ever do that, but I just don't know how to not do that. And my friend Joe Rogan does that too because he told everyone

that freshly fallen snow cured COVID. Does it not? Now, people are finding out it does not, but he believes that is a treatment. Now, people are upset about that. So I think you just have to learn how to you know roll with the punches right i'm lucky enough to have a job where i get to talk shit and make money so when i talk shit people get mad and that's part of it and that's cool that's cool as long as they don't start going at your money yeah which is what

sucks that's when i think it's too far. That's why you have a good place because if anything I think in the influencer space if you are canceled that's exactly what people want. Take all your money. My thing is I have a Patreon

where I have a podcast and I have like 40,000 people that subscribe. We're like the number two show on Patreon. I wouldn't because I cannot compete with you in that space.

I can compete with you here but I would love to see a Tim Dillon only. It might be great. It in that space. I can compete with you here, but. I would love to see a Tim Dillon only fan. It might be great. It might be great. I think so, too. I feel like you might have a different, like, target market situation. For sure.

Like, you know what I mean? I always wonder, like, do you think that she has, like, mostly men? Or, like, do you think you have a lot of, like, fans who are just like, ooh, wonder what she's posting? And they're like, ooh, what's that? Both. Honestly, absolutely both. Yeah, I could see you, like, jacking off with comedy. And I could the comedy and i could like well you put a lot of work in your only fan yeah

no i see like photos of you you dress up like little boat peep and everything like don't you do like a little mermaid and then you like lots a little mermaid does anal like you do you give them a lot that's a real one honestly i'm gonna write down that idea because i need to get on that you know absolutely i've yet to do any porn though well that's true but i'm but i honestly like what do you think do you think what do you think about you and porn do you think i should try i think at this point i feel like we all feel like you have even though you haven't that's the whole thing we feel like you have so i feel like you shouldn't so true because we all

like if you put a gun in my mouth and said is tanamojo done porn i would say oh yeah and i think everyone would feel that you've done that so i feel like you've done it without having to do it like you've done it and the sad part is is i'm so demented that i'm like i still would like want to now what's what is interesting you about it's just the idea of getting paid it's the controversy the controversy yeah like yeah she's 100% right just I don't

know the idea of it just sounds so that's what I want I want to do it so bad I just have I I've yet to come across the perfect opportunity you've got to find the right person if anyone wants to fund it yeah no and if anyone yeah if anyone wants to fund it. Yeah, no, and if anyone, yeah, if anyone wants to fund it and anyone would.

Who would you be your dream sex tape counterpart? I'm honestly just looking for extreme fame. Oh, okay. Which is all, no, but not. So Obama? Yeah, like literally Kanye. I would die to fuck Obama. How far are we going to go here?

I would pay every dollar I've ever made just to see Obama in a sex tape. I would die just to fuck Obama. Do you know Obama is like my number one celebrity crush probably? I had no idea. I literally, I just said that. I had no clue that it was. No, I really, I really like there's just something about Obama that really does.

It's the voice. But that's awful to say. Now you do women and men. You're all over. It's fun. It's great. I love everyone. It's the voice. But that's awful to say. Now, you do women and men. You're all over. It's fun. It's great. I love everyone. It's absolutely insane, which is way worse for me, obviously, I think.

Are there a lot of people like that in the influencer space who are kind of like, everyone's just good looking and rich, and it's like, let's all just fuck each other. 100%. And that's the thing, is it's like, I'm very honest. Are the dudes like that, or they're more? The guys are almost worse. I'm honest about it, everyone's like oh my god She's such a slut and I'm like your favorite

You know like goody influencer But girls can be more honest about it than dudes can You think so? I think so No for sure There's still a stigma Girls experimenting and stuff is like hot and then Guys get like scrutinized for it There's a stigma with dudes I think

I guess I mean I really don't know. I just, it's funny for me to see all these goodie influencers. I'm like, damn, I wish people didn't think I fucked everyone when I did sometimes like them, you know,

like it's kind of iconic and good for them, but I don't really know. What else do I want to know about you? Talk to me about the NFT space. I'm going down to see the NELC guys tomorrow and they're going to, I'm sure they'll talk to me But it's weird I think it's interesting

Because I think maybe And I This is the hope Is that it just gives people more freedom Like artists, creators, comedians, musicians More freedom to build a fan base And not participate in this legacy system of Hollywood That may or may not work for them.

Right. So you may be an incredibly talented person. Hollywood may not work for you. So for you to go directly to market direct, you know, figure out a way to kind of issue NFTs that may give people, you know, that'll allow people access. Maybe, you know, right now it's very art and it's the space is crazy because everybody's like apes, pictures of apes are selling for a half a million dollars. So people are like looking at this going, what the hell is this?

And right now there's a lot of people in space that just want to make a lot of money. But I think long term, you might see people issuing NFTs that have real, real value, intrinsic value. And those, you know, those will give you access to certain things. It might be live shows. It might be bonus content. It might be merch, whatever it is. It's a way to kind of monetize stuff. I don't know a word you just said.

I'm just kidding. Yeah. You do. You do. You've had meetings. You know the deal. You will turn your labia into an NFT. That's what I'm saying.

You know what you're doing. That's about as far as I know. Don't play dumb. You're a savvy woman. I'm actually just joking. You're a savvy woman. It was a good time to make that joke. But no, my thing lately has actually just been hitting on rich guys and making them buy me NFTs and then acting like I know so much about them.

And it works. It's been working really, really well. And that's so, yeah. So I'm using what I have. Now when you do like an indecent proposal, you're in Vegas, somebody goes, half a mil to fuck my husband. You're in.

Duh. Yeah. Is the sky blue? Do bears shit in the woods? Are you kidding me? See, that I love. That's what I love about you. That's what I like.

That would be awful if I didn't do that. That's what I like. Half a million, baby. You're up selling the right yeah it's a good point i was being very kind but i get it yeah i'm with it it's actually funny my friend she's sugar daddies a lot and she is always going to meet with these like billionaire sugar daddies and i'm like i want to fucking go so bad like please yeah i want to do that with you and she's like do your fucking brand deals and i I'm like, why would I? Like, why? Just hop on a cock.

It's easier. It's so easy. It's easier. Oh, and men are just so stupid. Like, are you kidding me? Like, it's just, oh my God. I just, I can't. How many energy drinks can there be?

You know what I mean? Exactly my point. Like, you know what I mean? Now, do you have your own products? Have you gone in your own line? Yes, I'm about to release my wine called Dizzy. I know you don't drink, but I would love for you to come check it out. I will give it to people.

I'll come to the launch. See, and that's really how I want that. I absolutely will come to the launch. I'm so excited. It's launching on the 25th of January. Dizzy. It's called Unconscious. Hey, my new hard seltzer, Blackout, debuts tomorrow.

It's an interesting way to look at it. You know, drink at your own risk. Be cautious, be safe, be gorgeous. Of course. Be cautious, be safe, but more importantly, be gorgeous. I had one at the photo shoot and I was like really drunk. They get you very drunk, I can't lie.

But at the same time, I've been drinking for free since birth. Yes, yes. It's like how much more time am I going to work so hard to black out at the club? What kind of, and it's like, how much more time am I going to, you know, work so hard to black out at the club? Now, what kind of, is it a Cabernet?

Is it a, do you even know what kind of wine it is? Imagine it's like a glass wine. She's like, it's delicious. Are you aware of what it is? Like,

there's apples in it. Is it a jug wine? Like, what exactly? It's a sparkling white wine. It's like a Pinot Grigio. It's like a Grige. It's a Pinot Grige.

Yeah. Exactly that. Well, good. No, I did spend a lot of time curating it, which just means I drank so much of it. I wanted to come up with a steak sauce. It's very hard. You want to come up with a steak sauce? Yeah.

We're in the works, but it's very, very difficult. What would you call it? I don't know. Racism? No, I don't know. I don't know. Just following your lead of just calling it anything. No, literally. It's beautiful. No, I have no idea. But it's know, racism? No, I don't know. Just following your lead of just calling it anything? No, literally, it's beautiful.

No, I have no idea. But it's tough, right? Because these products are not as easy to come up with because you want them to be good. It was so hard drinking so many wines until it was perfect. Right, I do forget that's probably fun. Well, by the time she got to it, it was like she was drunk. She didn't know what it tasted like.

No, I mean, she's not wrong. I mean, it was a lot of just drinking and tasting, but at the same time, it was perfecting it, making it perfect it perfect you know i want it to be very on brand you go out a lot you party a lot because it's part of the job it's and that's what i tell myself on the third day of a of a la club night bender that i'm just working so hard to the gig and you can get into any club in la right you're just you're that person well I appreciate it yeah it's one of my many talents I'm so talented um no I but yes I mean like if I just stopped partying entirely I think that it would be so off brand if I went to rehab um but like actually it is no you have to really you have to go and party I mean like I Paris Hilton was genuinely my mentor for a minute

like so I I took a lot in about you know the being seen being the party girl genuinely my mentor for a minute. So I took a lot in about the being seen, being the party girl, doing your thing for a part of your brand. And it does work. And until, like I said, until it's showing physically or I just croak, I'm going to keep doing it. Well, that's beautiful. That's a beautiful story. It's an inspirational story.

She did. Now she's like a philanthropist. I don't know when I'll transition like her. Wait, who became a philanthropist. I don't know when I'll transition like her. I mean that. Wait, who became a philanthropist? I still did. Oh. Does she, what is she doing? Well, now she's just like married and.

Yeah, I was like, that's, I don't think that's, I think that's provably untrue. Well, she's definitely not doing what we're like. Well, no, now she. You're 100% right. Now she's not doing like what we're doing. She definitely is like fighting for good causes and she's married and she's working with charities. She's trying to get people out of the little home.

I guess they like kidnapped her in the middle of the night and took her to this like home. It was like a correctional facility. They kidnapped Paris. And they put her in a correctional facility. Yes. I don't mean to be laughing. And there was

no reason for it well that's up in the air right but so now she's trying to get other people out she's trying to yeah she's like she's exposing these facilities in like ones they are i had some friends get sent to them back in the day it's it's it's a thing that like the you know the parent or guardian pays for to send the kid away but what happens at at the camp is- But it's very inhumane. Right. It's a bad situation. Right. It's like, who else got sent their bad baby?

Wait, actually, that's a bad example. Oh, my God. What do you think about bad baby? You know, I believe we, as a society, we have 30 to 40 years left before there was just mass chaos and violence on the streets. And the energy grid is maybe partially off and it is just an ungovernable society where we will descend into small armies of people that fight each other for resources in the street.

Okay. But that song, White Horse, White Bitch, White... It ain't bad. It ain't bad. No, she's a natural. White Jays, you know, whatever. She's a talent. I mean right it ain't bad it ain't bad white jay you know whatever talent i mean it ain't bad her music's great but there's gotta be something said about a society where one of our biggest stars is someone who like threatened to like karate chop her mother in the throat on dr phil her mom fucking sucked my idol bad baby's my idol. Yeah. Yeah, no, listen. She's good.

We used her music in a video once, and she didn't copyright strike. I guess so. No, I'm with it. I'm with Bad Baby, and yeah, God love her. I feel like Joe Rogan right now. Yeah. Do you? No, it's only because you're probably one of the only Joe Rogan guests that would agree to come on my podcast.

That is potentially true. So, so true. But I would love that to not be true. I would love more of Rogan guests to come here. Honestly, it would be amazing. I would love you to go on Joe. Honestly, I would absolutely die too. I don't know if that's ever going to happen. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a little bit of a reach. You know what I mean? It be an interesting uh mixing of i feel like he's made you a lot more like mainstream it was almost when you first he's 100 yeah when you first went on rogan i felt like a little hipster i was like i knew him before he's he's he's like that amazing like you know these the reason that i have anything going on i mean other your dynamic is incredible, though. Utterly incredible. Well, he's a good friend of mine, so it's like a legit friendship.

And I respect the hell out of him and what he's done for other comedians. He's incredible. He really is. I was watching you the other day, and all the comments were like, thank God Tim Dillon needed to be here. We needed his insight. And what they needed your insight on was the Ghislaine Maxwell-Jeffrey Epstein trial, which just killed me.

I, too, would like to hear your insight on was the Ghislaine Maxwell Jeffrey Epstein trial. I too would like to hear your insight on that. You were saying something about how you still believe there are kids going down a water slide at Epstein Island. Well, here's the deal. Here's the thing. Do you think Epstein Island... I think it's wrong.

Obviously, it's a tragedy. It's a horrible situation. Right? This is the part. Say hi to Daily Mail, guys. But here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying. Not everybody wants to work at The Gap, you know? So a lot of kids lost their jobs. Yeah.

Oh, I just thought you meant at The Gap. And it's horrible. It's bad. But the Hype House can only have so many people in it. Do you think, Brooke just made a really good point a second ago. Do you think that Epstein Island is now currently vacant? Yeah, no, it's vacant, but I think somebody will buy it because people don't care. Do you think it's like a house that someone just died in, like there's a discount?

I don't think there's a discount for that island. I think as islands go... I'm about to put in an offer. No, somebody is going to come buy it. Nelk will buy it. And they will open a crypto gambling casino on it. And I'm the first person there.

Just like I'm the first person at TanaCon when you bring it back. Yeah. Oh my God. I want to get booked at TanaCon. When TanaCon comes back, I'm having my agent... Everyone's saying, would you go realistically? I would love to go to TanaCon. I would love to do a comedy booked at TanaCon. When TanaCon comes back I'm having Everyone's saying

would you go realistically? I would love to go to TanaCon. I would love to do a comedy show at TanaCon. Now the problem is going to be You're going to need an umbrella first of all. I'm going to need

Well I watched that whole documentary. Did you? Dude the jawline documentary Shout out Shane. fascinated me and I did an episode on my show about it. Did you?

It was a very interesting I've never seen that. As a fan I've've never seen that it was very interesting watching that documentary about people trying to make it as in because it's like every kid in america wanted to you know do the shit that you guys did right so they were like they were like they'd be like 30 people and they're like hey hey guys it's just me love you guys checking in and then it was so sad what was crazy about it is like the fans it's okay the fans of these kids you would think that they were just like oh they're cute they're hot a lot of these fans were like they're the only people that believe in me you know and you were like oh this is really like wow this i i'd

underestimated how deep the connection was between influencers and their fan bases and the fan bases a lot of times were like really relying on that content like they were like they were very like the fit they were like we're really really sad and the only thing makes us happy is I grew up with that it's crazy so it is what because it's a different thing yeah like the relationship that like people have with influencers as fans versus like actual celebrities is different. Because like the, you feel. No one cares about actual celebrities. Yeah, and you don't feel as connected to them as you do with like an, like she's so, like people come up to her and say things that are like not okay to just say to like a.

No one cares. If Sandra Bullock was eaten by wild dogs, it would be a news story, but no one would care. Like no one would give a shit, right? Even though Sandra Bullock's an amazingly talented woman, no one feels connected. There's no connection to her. You're on your floor. People are trying to kill you.

You're trying to kill them. You're crying. You're screaming. You're overdosing in a tub. People love that. Foreshadowing. They want it. Not the foreshadowing part.

Yeah. No, you're 100%. Well, I grew up like that I grew up really connected to like who were the people that you watched that's interesting to me

Shane Dawson wow says a lot about me he's OG that's the old school I grew up like so connected and Dolbrick

or is he like your contemporary or was he before you we came up at the same time he's just far more successful talented smarter everything

that's why I look up to him that was like well cause I was before I knew, I was like a fan. Not of you, but like I was a YouTube super fan. So I was like, I came up with them and I was like, these are my best friends. Like if I saw them out, I probably would say something. 100%. It's a very different dynamic.

So I'm like that different generation of like, I grew up not with that connection. That was my struggle, honestly, with Dobrik when he had his hair cancellation. Well, he shot those people in the massage parlor in Atlanta. Yeah, that's what I heard. Do you know that's how I found you? That's how I found you. And that was wrong.

But it wasn't racially motivated. That was the first thing he showed me, and it was hysterical. That was the first thing I ever- Would a guy like him laugh at that, or would he not laugh at that? No. No, in life, David,

I feel like David would enjoy your comedy. Because when we did that, I wondered, I said, would someone like him think this is funny? Yes. I can say yes to that. I think he would be terrified to publicly think that that's funny.

Well, his... Well, not publicly, just like privately get a chuckle out of it. For the people that don't know, I found Tim Dillon based off of a video when David Dobrik had first had a scandal where you were just why don't you take it away well i just said that because it was the atlanta massage parlor shooting and i i said this

was wrong for david to have done but i understand it and i think we should let him have some of his brands back and it was funny because it was uh you know he didn't do it. That's why it's funny, because he's innocent of that. Yeah. And that's what was funny about it. No, he definitely would think that's funny. It's more so also he has a lot of young people watching him. Of course. He, unlike me, cares about maintaining a brand.

Yes. And, you know, killing it in where he works. And he does. I'm taking it day by day. God love him. Yeah, seriously. He's great. I would love

to see a tim dillon david dobrik interaction well there's probably lots of people that would prevent that that you know are on his payroll yeah a lot of people on his nah and i would i would advise that i would i get it i would live breathe and die for it i can't even lie no but i'm actually a big fan of you too because like you're a symbol of something. What? Well, no, no, no. Truly, maybe like you got maybe survival, but like you work your ass off. Thank you. Literally.

Depends on the day. And talk to them. I'm like, they are me actually. It's awful. I'm one of those. When I see what you do, it's not like I know everyone goes, oh, it's easy to party and collapse on the floor every night. But I don't think it is. That's hard work.

I don't think it is. I, you know, I look at you when I go, you're killing it and you're in your way and how you do it. And I respect that because gay guys like a little bit of a mess. You're a little bit of a mess in a very good way.

If you were a straight man, you would hate me. All my straight friends, when you said, they were like, please take care of that. They're like, we just want to like that. When I said that I liked your podcast.

Yeah, I'm like, I don't fuck women. They're like, it doesn't matter. She's so hot. Oh, really? No, they're into it. My friend Joe is such a big

should I fuck your friends that would mean we could get closer yeah I mean I would love that sure that's not how it works some of them have wives

but I don't even think their wives care yeah speaking of I guess me and my brand and collapsing on the floor someone who really has inspired me

yeah across my career and not always you know she does some things that are very questionable is Trisha is just Lane Max

sorry do you know actually when does some things that are very questionable. She's just Lane Max. Sorry. Do you know, actually, when I was with Jake Paul, we had a full-blown scandal where people, like paparazzi were following us at the house saying that we were trafficking children under his house. I thought that was real. I believed that. And people were calling me modern-day Ghislaine.

I did not know that, but all I can say is I'm proud of you. There was a certain level when you get accused of human trafficking, you're on the right path. Which was awful. In this town. You know you're doing well in Hollywood when someone thinks you're trafficking kids. I guess that's honestly a valid point. It's a great point. It's

the goal. It's the major goal, but I was gonna say I'm kidding. Jokes, jokes. I'm not. Again, at the time, I wasn't Trisha Paytas. Yes. Trisha Paytas. The show that she had with Ethan Klein frenemies. I watched every episode.

So did I. When they used to dress up and it was the funniest thing ever. What are your thoughts on Trisha Paytas? I don't know much about her. I mean, I was going to ask what we were talking about earlier with Bryce and how he like he, he,

you thought it was brilliant how he responds to the fight and how it was like almost unintentional. Do you think that Trisha is intentional in the way that she's chaotic or so that's what if I don't know someone I can't ever know that but I will just say it's a whirlwind of entertainment and spectacle which is what I think that section of the internet demands and she does it right 100 and I think all of you guys to to the extent i do it to the extent that i can in my little world of like my fucking crazy you know whether it's a video or saying whatever i say like i think that she's kind of mastered that um again i've never met her i don't know how much of something is planned and how much of something just happens or they're organically but whatever it is it it works because it's like it's a circus yeah and you're you're at the circus

and it's a spectacle and that's what i think the internet demands 100 agree i agree i look up to her i was hoping for some insight i'll have to put you on to more trisha paytas you need i feel like you would yeah i don really enjoy the things I've seen I mean I can't stop watching I guess that's the point if you like how chaotic she is you would oh my god I mean that's the point right to not want to stop watching so ever whatever I've seen I've been like this is really

good like in the sense that not it's not the godfather but you know what I mean she's not my but when I watch it I go i i i i want to watch i don't want to stop watching you know what else i want to know your opinion on currently in pop culture before i move on to other things yeah i hope that's what i think i'm honestly it's i've had so many guests on that won't speak on this right now which is so ridiculous i will i yeah

no it's and it's not even that kanye kim julia fox pete davidson don't know much about julia fox um i good for pete right i mean i think pete i don't know anything about the dynamics of the kanye personally i don't we've I don't. We've met. He's a nice guy. No one's ever going to help us. Here's the deal. I don't know. If she broke up with Kanye and now she's with Pete and there was no fuckery,

then what's the problem? I don't know. Is there other layers I'm unaware of? Did you see? I've been focusing so much on the COVID and the murder in LA. I have forgotten to really get under this topic. But is there more going on than I know?

Did you see the other day? So Kim had a birthday party for her daughter, Chicago. Stop with the names. Stop with this. I don't care how rich they are. Eventually they're going to grow up and go, stop naming me dumb shit. Wait, so if you had a kid,

would you name him like some typical ass, likeby i wouldn't be like here's saint louis it's dumb it's stupid and here's the deal with kim and kai kanye is a genius i have a ton of respect for kim she works really hard but you know i'd name i don't know if that's a relationship that was going for the long haul because it seems like they have other, you know, plans, right? I mean, you just know I'd name my kid, like, White Claw. No, you'll name your child anything that, you know, will come to you with a check. That'll make the Daily Mail is what it is. I name the child Check.

No, I mean, you'll be like, this is my son, Blue Chew. And I think, and there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing wrong with that no but what so Kim had a birthday party for the kids and I guess Kanye wasn't invited and he posted on his story you really didn't see this he was like I didn't he was like I was not

invited to the birthday party no one will answer me da da da da da and then I guess Travis Scott sent him the address and then no no Trvis scott sent him the address and then no tristan no travis i think so i think because everyone's like why why was just in there yeah sent him the address though whoever and he was going and then everyone did you not see the scandal to know what happened when he got there everyone just was like oh kanye is finally there like no one would let him into his own kid's birthday party. That's fucked up.

A lot of people were saying But is that Pete does Pete have anything to do with that? Well I Right? Did you see Kanye? Here's the way I feel about this. The men in the

Kardashian orbit don't seem like they're ever running the show. No. It seems like they're kind of How could you? Right? So when you look at

the way things happen and why they happen I feel like I feel like there's just an inertia that the Kardashians are this powerful planet that moves things the way they move. 100%. So I think anybody in that orbit, in that web, you know, it's kind of hard to be. I want to get moved by one of the Kardashians. Calling the shots.

Sincerely. I want to be Addison Raid by one of the Kardashians. Yeah. And it'll never happen to us. It's so awful. It's literally so awful. So, do you prepare for a post-Kardashian world? No.

Interesting. When they die, I kill myself. I have nothing to live for. Because I wonder, because, you know, they have so many successors. Now they have this whole army of children that are just going to come about. You may be right. That's so true. You may be right. The Kardashians outlive all of us. They may be the most enduring American dynasty ever. They will.

And Kris Jenner is going to be alive years and years beyond us. The Roosevelts, the Bushes, the Rockefellers. These are politicians. You can Google it later. But the point is, yeah, it's not a huge deal. You were like, are they trap rappers? Yes, some of them.

That's what I thought. But no, no, no. I mean, it's weird that the Kardashians, man, but I get it. You know, they've worked. I'm not even shameful about it anymore, though. I feel like you're supposed to be ashamed of worshiping the Kardashians. I'm not at all. I feel like that's like my religion.

I think that if it's going to be somebody, it might as well be them. And who else is really going to teach me to remain scandalous and profit off of them? Have you not? You don't have any dealings with them? Oh, I've had a lot of Kardashian scandals and interactions. But every time I talk about them. I'm completely separated from those, just to be clear. Every time one of those happens, it's just awful.

I actually, I guess. She has Stormi as her wallpaper. And she got canceled for that. I remember that. I got canceled worldwide for having. She has Stormy as her wallpaper. And she got canceled for that. I remember that. I got canceled worldwide for having a meme of Stormy as my lock screen. But that's because all the Kardashian friends were like, this is weird. And do they ever directly contact you? Do they leave like a dead animal on your stoop?

How does it work? They just send a hitman. How does it work? My stoop. Yeah. No, no, it's just. Do they leave like, you you know like some type of well everyone was saying

it was like weird for me to have Stormy as my lock screen but I just like loved the meme I loved like I just like loved the Kardashians

it's like a cute exactly it's like a cute photo the people who were making that weird was what was weird about it like in some ways I'm like okay

like I've never had a kid so I don't know what that's like but like to make it this huge thing about how you're like this major creep because you have this cute ass kid on your wall to be fair if it was like someone's like secret child I wouldn't know what that's like but like to make it this huge thing about how you're like this major creep because you have this cute ass kid

on your wallpaper to be fair if it was like someone's like secret child I wouldn't be like weird it was yeah but that kid you could google Stormi and like

is it but some people would say some people would accuse you of going you almost know that that's gonna get attention it was never ever before that I just thought it was like a cute photo

and a funny meme like our friend group just had like it was like we I thought Stormi as my wallpaper I changed it real quick though yeah yeah yeah um but i guess i was like friends with some kardashian counterparts so they were like this is weird and i was like oh

it is a little too close for maybe if it were like a stranger in michigan like that's probably where i was wrong but it was like you're like no definitely you should have a stranger in michigan's child as your lock screen no i i I meant like if a stranger in Michigan had Stormy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, same thing. I don't even know. I don't know. But you survived.

You got over that. Our current cancellation, do you want to hear about it? Yeah, absolutely. I want to talk to you about it. Last podcast, she was telling a story about Logan Paul

and Mike Malak. And this recent, I guess they uploaded a podcast today. Go to this party the other night with Shugga and Jeff and Mike Malak. And this recent, I guess they uploaded a podcast today. I go to this party the other night with Shugga and Jeff and all these people. And I'm walking around, making greetings, talking to people, so on and so forth. And I walk up to a crew of people and who do I see standing right there in front of me? The girl.

No. Good old Brookie. I said, Brookie, Brookie, why did you tell such an audacious story about me on the show? And she said the following. I'm going to take a second right now to apologize to you. I made a very severe error. And I said, do tell. Do tell, Brooke.

What kind of error are we talking about? And she goes, well, all right, I'll just tell you. You know, I recorded that episode, and I thought I had the whole thing figured out, and everything made so much sense. But a couple days after the podcast aired, the guy I was talking to for the past two years came up to me and said that the same girl that I defended wanted to let him know that she has no gag reflex. She's on a fucking rampage.

Took his finger and put it down her throat to let everyone know or to let him know that she does not have a gag reflex. And I said, well, that's just a startling detail, isn't it? I slandered Mike a bit. Okay. I'll admit it. All right. I really believed the story I was telling, though. I sold it because I believed it.

Yeah. And then I was wrong. Okay. Well, yeah, that sounds wrong. The impulsives are mad at us. Well, they yeah that sounds wrong the impulsives are mad at us that's well that they said i sound that sounds wrong yeah it was it was i don't even know we were just telling a story well honestly i was just listening to a story about what happened with mike and logan but then i told a very elaborate story about a lie that mike told that i later found out wasn't like that

much of a lie actually at all it's still up in the air impulsives came for us today and now we all have to come together because it's internet feud yeah but this is what this is good no mike called me today i think he was like hard at the fact that we were like all having an internet scandal and i loved it i just like i'm such a fan of impulsive i'm so glad they said they asked brooke for a public apology Should we give it right now? I think you should, Brooke. Okay, first of all, he said- I believe you should. For America to heal, Brooke. Brooke, for the United States of America to heal,

to end COVID, please just apologize now. Mikey. Baby. I'm sorry for what I said. I do owe you an apology and I love you and I won't slander you ever again well I was just very scared

but he did punch me in the face once I was just very scared because as you know a lot of people don't claim me and Logan is like my brother yeah they're great I love their show who's the madcon dude you're dating we can't talk about it Chris Miles. No, you can.

Who else in MadCon? Well, you might have seen him on my socials, my face tattooed ex-boyfriend. I may have. I probably have. I believe I have. He looks like a doodle board. Yeah, he's very tatted.

He's a doodle bob. What is it? Little Zan. Little Zan. I know you put Little Zan in your thing all the time. He called me. I got him two tickets to my show, but he didn't show up. I am surprised he's not so okay. I love Little Zan time. He called me. I got him two tickets to my show, but he didn't show up.

I am surprised he's- It's a nerve. I love Lil Xan anyway. It's okay. I'm surprised he's in the right mind to almost comprehend your humor. I don't know if he is, but he was gonna come.

He slandered me last night. I thought we were on great terms. How did he slander you? Lil Xan slandered me last night. We've been slandering him pretty much. I did this whole thing basically. I'll give you a quick summary. Yeah.

But my ex-boyfriend and I had broken up because he found out about my other boyfriend. He showed up. Ain't that the way? Yeah. It was like an episode of the Maury show. How many boyfriends do you have at any given time? I like to keep it. I was going to say two.

Sorry. Seven, two, seven. So the other was the other boyfriend boyfriend a guy that he would know? No. And we were kind of on the offs. You know, we were like kind of broken up. But he showed up to my house. It was like an episode of Cheaters.

It was awful. Right. And they were both there, both the boyfriends at once. It was awful. And so then he proceeded to send me a photo of my best friend sucking his dick. As one does. Well, that is a move. For sure. For sure. It was a move. and so then he is best friends with lil xan so i decided of course the natural reaction would be to go

fake date lil xan right you know just to upset him and um so it's kind of you know balancing him and xan and then xan didn't really like that And so last night he was saying that I was sloppy seconds, which honestly. But what does fake dating entail? You just. Well, sometimes you fuck. No, it's not. It's actually really not fake at all. There's sexual relations involved.

It's actually it's really not fake at all. Yeah. What she said. Yeah. Yeah. So Lil Zan was a little upset and he was talking to the paparazzi. But here's the thing is I taught him how to call paparazzi So I was like when are you going to pay some homage

To you know Imagine like the person who has to take that call Imagine the life of that person Like Lil Xan calls you And they're like alright so what happened I'm at BOA They wanted to be a journalist and stuff And they're like alright so what happened

Yeah okay But you are fucking it's real but it's not real they wanted to be a journalist and stuff. And they're like, all right, so what happened? Yeah. Okay. And, but you are fucking, it's real, but it's not real. And what do you want to say? It's like that guy that used to follow around the TikTok kids. It was so weird.

I know that's his job. I get it. It's his job. It's just because he's like, you know, you're like, it would be weird. He's like chasing these girls down the street.

He's like, when are you getting your driver's license? It's like, what's going on? It's so, so, so true. Have you ever been followed by these paparazzi? No, I get in like, people will write things about me negatively, but it's not paparazzi. It's like, I'll get mentioned in certain articles about things I've said.

I'm going to text them right now. Friends that I have. Fletcher's outside. I actually need to see a video of you being followed. The one you're talking about is called the Hollywood fix. He's the more like. Yeah. The Hollywood fix.

He would, he would like chase after the kids. You're like, what's going on with you and Ashley? And some kid would be like, I don't know, man. You know,

we're like friends. Your parents divorced. He's like, we're like friends. And he'd be like, what does that mean? People are saying you're not friends and somebody would be like oh yeah like

yeah it was like it was a crazy thing to watch no I've never maybe this is horrible for me to say but I've never thought about their lives and it's that's awful I'm gonna tell you they're horrible like horrible it's a horrible

life but it's crazy because lately it's a horrible life. But it's crazy because lately. It's a horrible life to chase children down the street and ask them about their meaningless relationships. It is a horrible way to spend your life on this earth. Damn. But everybody's got to make a buck. So I'm not hating. Moment of silence. Everyone's got to make a buck.

But it can't be that much fun. It's got to get repetitive. For sure. I just get confused I get everyone mixed up My dream bit Is having him react To the video of you After 24K at Golden's

That's the problem Is obviously I'll call them when I need it But they find you sometimes What are the influencer spots Cause I know Boa Boa's good Boa the food's good

She'll go to Boa And she'll be like God I can't I hope I don't get paparazzi'd It's like Babe you're not going there For the mac and cheese, you know? Like, I definitely, there's ketchup.

I do go for the gnocchi. The crab gnocchi. I've never tried it. Or black truffles. It's really good. I do go for that. It is, it's, no, it's amazing. That is what I do go for.

It is, it's, it's very interesting. And then also, like, saddle seems like it's dead. Saddle's awful. Saddle will never die. Saddle will make a comeback. But it's like, if you like it, at least for us, you have to let, you like it's dead Saddle's awful Saddle will never die Saddle will make a comeback But it's like If you like it At least for us

You like it ironically Yeah It's like You're going there To laugh at the culture And ride the bull Yeah you like Go there as a joke

It's like how she dated Lil Xana as a joke But she was really fucking Like I'm really going there And like I'm really enjoying it Craig's is good But none of the TikTok kids Go there right

But that's good For when I want to get My face in mainstream media Yeah that's true That's good for when I want to get my face in mainstream media. Yeah, that's true. That's good for when you want to see Kris Jenner. Yeah, when I'm fake dating an actor or actress, I'm going to Craig's. That's right. When I'm fake dating a TikTok or SoundCloud rapper, I'm going to Boa.

It's like a different caliber. It's such a complex labyrinth that you've built. It really is. Thank you so much. Is sex even fun for you anymore, or is it like putting mayonnaise on a sandwich? Well, here's the thing, actually. I couldn't agree with you more. Is there anything fun about it?

Or is it just like, boom, boom, slice it, yum? No, well, that's the thing is I've gotten to the point now. Well, no, if I like you, it's still obviously it's fun. Right. But at the same time, I like to spice things up. But I have two words for you. OJ. Simpson?

Like as in get someone who stabs me? I don't mean orange juice. I mean, I think you have a real interesting relationship that's possible with OJ Simpson. Should I call him? No, I believe this is, I thought about this

in the car on the way here, and I hate giving career advice. I could be the new Nicole, babe. He's like, PR glove doesn't have to fit. You kill him. Do you know what I mean? It's female empowerment. It's the blond Nicole, babe. He's like, PR Glove doesn't have to fit. You kill him. Do you know what I mean? It's female empowerment.

It's the blondes getting back. It's full set ball. You're in the news. It's old Hollywood. It's Brentwood. It's blood. It's gore. It's guts.

It's court. You get off. It's Kardashians. It's everything. It is. You then become part. You become part of the Kardashian origin story

in a weird way. It's like you are in the future, but also the past. It's this crazy thing. They do a documentary about you. It's huge. You become this huge feminist icon. You run a speaking tour. Yeah, I've never had someone pitch a better PR stunt. That is the Tana Mongeau

future. If my life doesn't end by killing OJ, did I even make it? I mean, I'm just saying what a great Hollywood story. That is honestly beautiful. You can get this all done by the time you're 27 years old.

And if I even make it... I was going to say, you think she's going to make it to 27? Yeah. Then I could just do 27 Club. That would be kind of the ideal time. I think there's something iconic about how about this just go to lunch with him

and everything will work itself out just go to lunch with him I don't know about if Rogan knows him but if you go to lunch with OJ everything else Tana will fall into place. Is OJ out of prison? He's just roaming around the streets? Oh yeah no he's been out for many years

and Vegas. Sorry God like there's a Vegas connection. It's a beautiful story. I honestly wouldn't die for that. It is like one of those things. He's just out roaming the streets. Why don't we ever see him at BOA? That's a really good fucking, like where is OJ Simpson now?

Where's OJ? I don't know if he's in LA. Do you think he did it? But here's the deal. Do you think he did it? Probably. I'll say that. I think O think he did it? But here's the deal. Do you think he did it? Probably. I'll say that. I think OJ probably did it.

Yeah, sure. You know, the question is, was he wrong? You know, that's the bigger question. I just got word that OJ hangs out in downtown Summerlin. What's that mean? In Vegas. That's like a place. That's where the rich people in Vegas do shit.

He lives in Red Rock Country Club in Vegasgas so rich i'm pulling up this is a story i am ready needs to happen well so i have to pee utterly brooke you want to share with what you're going through the chronic uti some would say it is raging and how did i get it how did you get it i don't know actually you know what i know exactly how i got it by fucking? The cardinal rule that I learned in college, which is you never sleep with someone who has navy bedsheets. Ever. Wow. That's how you get a UTI.

That's guaranteed UTI is navy bedsheets. You're not fucking wrong. Don't say I never taught you anything. Honest to God, Brooke. I bet OJ has white bedsheets. You think so? Where do you see yourself going? Like, what are you?

I was thinking like the Los Angeles cemetery. That is nice. It is pretty. Forest Lawn is the best one. Oh, okay. Forest Lawn. I'll keep that. Yeah.

Or maybe like a Malibu rehab. Right. I don't fucking know. I'm definitely more of a day-by-day individual. Sure. And I think that's how I live. Because imagine me planning out anything. That's not really going to work out well.

That's not true. You've got to keep the chaos. Yeah, exactly. And that's how we'll keep the chaos. We'll keep the chaos. 100%. I'm excited to see the future of Tim Dillon. What do you plan on doing?

Just hopefully more bullshit. I would love a book. I would love a tour. A book's coming. A book is coming? A book is coming. Are you announcing that here on the Cancel the Fudge? She's a huge reader. We're working on a book. A huge reader. We're working on a book i would love a book's coming a book is coming book is coming are you announcing that here on the council yeah we're working on a book a huge reader we're working on a book

and it's gonna be pictures i think so now i'm now it's now it's a book for me it's not only is it pictures because that can also get boring for you but you go like this and then it pops up you go whoa there it is and, I'm going to need exactly that from you. I just want to say, though, I adore you to death. This was one of my favorite podcasts because I knew you would just come on and we would just chill. We would just not have to say anything because you're so funny. I really do. I enjoy your shit.

I think you're a lunatic in the best way. Thank you for having me on. I feel like, you know, when I moved to L.A., I think there was a certain idea that I was like moving to hell. And now I feel like I'm in the seventh ring of it. You have the chemistry of a couple of Helen Kellers in here. No one knows what's... Do you think Helen Keller was real? Probably not.

Me neither. What are your thoughts on Helen Keller? NFT. Put her on the blockchain or shut the fuck up yo why isn't there alan keller nft oh there will be would you buy it no someone will nelk would nelk will well tim dylan i worship the ground you walk on. Thank you for coming on. Thank you so much. You're the best. We love you. We'd love to pull an impulsive.

Yeah. I wanted you to say it with me and then it was just awkward. Let me know when the wine is launched. I'll come. I would love for you. Yeah, for sure. Because here's the thing. You're going to be in a room with everything you were just exemplifying that needed to happen on your TikTok stream. We want all the TikTokers there so drunk.

Oh, yeah. Yelling. Like, that's the want all the TikTokers there so drunk. Oh, yeah. Yelling. Like, that's the goal for the Dizzy Lounge event. Yes. Well, that sounds great. Yeah. And we want the two tickets that Lil Xan didn't use. That is very true.

Yeah, we'll get you into any show you want. NFT. NFT. Thank you for coming on, Jindal. Thank you, Tom. I love you. Appreciate it. Tanimoja is cancelled.