Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 29: Tana and Brooke Are BACK and Hooking Up With the Same Guy EP 33

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

Tana and Brooke have finally reunited for the second season of "Cancelled," where they update listeners on their lives and experiences since the last episode. This episode features discussions about their hookup encounters with the same guy, experiences with their toxic exes, the latest pop culture tea (such as Tyga and Avril’s relationship and the Hailey/ Selena drama),and show off their extensive history knowledge in a game of trivia. Join us as we catch up on the highs and lows of life with these two dynamic personalities. Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Follow Tana on IG: @tanamongeau Follow Brooke on IG: @brookeschofield Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge then mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario cancelled don't remember doing this at all i can only hold myself accountable canceled look how good my life is so what else cancel me fan emoji is canceled hello and welcome back to canceled 2.0 episode one i love to call it 2.0 and it's just like not what it is at all no yeah sorry about that that's how we're coping with the trauma of you know season one ending um But we are finally back. We are at my house.

We are shooting this episode for the first time. Very first time. Our very first try. We tried to shoot this episode like last week. And I don't know what got into us or what we were feeling, but we came in with our like sad sacks on. No, here's the thing. I filmed that episode, ended it.

And I was like like we ate like that was amazing and we both watched it back we were like what the fuck like i felt the exact opposite like immediately after we were you knew already i was like oh no and then i i felt like almost in post we could like fix it in the edit and then i was like oh no well i feel like i i knew that we would have to like cut some like slow parts. Cause we did get a little dark. Yeah. We got dark and slow. The thing is, is we really wanted the first episode back to kind of be like a,

where we've been, you know what I mean? Yeah. But unfortunately we said too much about where we've been and where we've been is not happy. It's not, we had, we had a,

like we were saying this to each other in the very beginning. And we were kind of like, thank God in a way we didn't have a podcast because like it was a dark time people is just crazy so i think today we're gonna try to still do that because i know that people want to know where we've been and we want to touch on like the important things we talked about some important things we like we covered some important stories but it was just it was it wasn't quite what it needed it wasn't fun and spunky and i think that today we need to do the best to make light of our trauma and give you a fun and spunky

update on where we've been but first of all thank you to the people for waiting for like you so much sorry about that it was an actual accident yeah it was sincerely an accident we really didn't want cancel to end but 2.0 we are back and better than ever we have great guests coming for you we have the best team doing all of this and i'm just i'm stoked to be back so canceled ended in may may may or june something like that which is almost a year which is kind of actually terrifying yeah we're almost at our one year which is good that we got it back before then there was a point that i was worried we were going to be out of the podcasting space for a second it was scary i thought it was out of the influencer space. I was I was literally like applying at restaurants. It was crazy. It's so weird, too, because it's like during the time

we went on a bunch of different podcasts, obviously you and I on different ones. But the feeling of having your own is so different to me. Yeah. I mean, it's there's one thing like answering questions, but like actually going in and being like ah today i want to talk about this it's exciting and like i almost equate it to like shower thoughts you know it is no it is exactly shower thoughts i'll always be in the shower and be like gotta talk about this on my imaginary podcast so we were gone for a while you're like four boyfriends down i which is actually fucking crazy it's actually fucking i'm so embarrassed of my like it's not embarrassing it's inspirational i ended when we ended on canceled i was in my chris miles era and we still like be for real

i like feel like an addict who's like slipped up so many times. And I'm like, but guys, this time I'm off. No, I listen, girl. If anyone knows, it's me. Yeah, we have to we have to get into talking about that. But I was definitely in the most toxic space of my life, I think, for like the first six months. Well, and the tail end, I guess, honestly. But no, like whole toxic relationship, whole moment. And I think that I was saying this last time that I think my toxic relationship

would have gone on 10 times longer if I still had the podcast. Yeah, because you would have had to exploit him for content, of course. And it was, oh my God. And just thinking about how bad things were and like the end, I would have came on and been like, guess what silly fun thing happened

last week in the silly fun thing in question. Not silly fun at all. My windows are shattered. Like, you know what i mean yeah actually actually jail time and i had to kind of figure that one out which was good i don't know i'm glad you're out of it but that was that was a fun it was like a fun and fresh thing for us to talk about it was a great podcast topic but that's where it ended when it comes to things being great and i think i'm healed you think so i think i'll never be in a toxic relationship again I'm gonna clip this in like six months it's gonna be so embarrassing I love you and I really

hope that that is true for you but what do you think what what do you think is the difference between like then and now like what do you think has changed really drastically to make it so that you don't think that that will happen to you again I think that I was just in a point and it's so crazy because it's like if you asked me at that time like to you again. I think that I was just in a point and it's so crazy because it's like, if you asked me at that time, like, do you love yourself? I would have been like, fuck yeah, I love myself. Like I love myself. Life's good. I love myself. But like, if you're allowing that shit to go on something, some screw is not screwed in. Do you know what I mean? See, here's the thing. Problem is I don i don't and like that's the problem for sure because i feel like that could happen to me too

brooke ended up as i was kind of trying to get out of my toxic relationship you entered one but i to me it wasn't that like to me i was like which is just crazy well but to everybody else it was this too it just it wasn't it was the end that everyone was like wait it wasn't a toxic relationship I was like oh my god well it was it was basically immediately like got into a new relationship and it was like truly the greatest thing that ever happened to me well this is so crazy what's actually crazy as well is she's gone on every other podcast under the sun and you're like cheater liar asshole whatever and then you sit down under the canceled lights and you're like god it was amazing which is insane to me

it wasn't amazing but it felt like to me this was like my first like real like serious relationship where I was like very in love with somebody and it was so immediate like like we literally met very first date we basically moved in like in together and we never separated and that's first of all sounds romantic it's unhealthy okay don't do that it is yeah but it's fun i get it what it was like it was amazing i loved him so much and like we fought every like every second but yeah and then we found out he was jeffrey dahmer but now brooke wants brooke wants taylor swift era's tickets so she's being nice to him this week to try to get taylor swift tickets okay well that's honestly that's like i would talk to anyone on my it was a very very transformative or like a formative experience for me okay this was like my first major

relationship you guys missed it all thank god yeah you if you had a podcast at that time i think it would have been really scary we kind of joke about it now but like the end of that relationship i thought you were gonna die no i was gonna die i don't want to say that it made me feel good in any way because it didn't but it's nice that now we can kind of bond. Like, because before I feel like I would be toxic with my ex and we'd be like fighting and being crazy. And you'd be like, what is wrong with you guys? Like, just break up.

No, it helped me understand a lot like more about like I had to do a whole round of apologies for like my certain friends that I was like kind of like because before it's like easy to be like your boyfriend fucking sucks. You're an idiot. Like, why would you do like deal with that until you have until you're in it? And then you be like your boyfriend fucking sucks you're an idiot like why would you do like deal with that until you have until you're in it and then you're like wait i love him yeah it's it's actually like such a the whole trauma bond of it all is like so scary it is and this is where we kind of went wrong with the last episode i accidentally got a little

too dark on this um aspect so i will keep it short and sweet that was a really horrible breakup really traumatic really awful yeah i i hate that you're talking to him again so much i'm not talking to him again you know what's funny about brooke i was telling her this downstairs is i hate hate hate talking to you about it because everything is a bit like you'll be like it's not a bit it's just like to me it's like it's like she comes in and she's like yeah i just talked to him whatever blah blah blah and like an hour later i go brooke i really hate that you're talking to him again you go i'm not no yeah he's horrible um it's fine like listen i loved him so much and you know what billy eilish said okay she said it better than anyone else that shit's embarrassing you know yeah that's what you're like i don't talk shit about you on the internet that's what she said and that's what i'm kind of trying to do um as of today yeah that's what's killing me she just like actively promoted a podcast and she went on where she's like

fuck him he's a cheater like i didn't know anything so i gotta hate you okay yeah he podcast too even at that sorry i just have to jump in because this really actually hi everyone i'm off camera because i don't know i'm just here for funny commentary as usual you know what they say go ahead i'm like brooke what no no no okay you know what you did you know honestly i get it i think talking like i've always said like being in a toxic relationship is the same thing as a drug addiction it is so hard to get out of and i think you're in you're like still talking it's fun erin here's the thing is what what's gonna happen right now i'm predicting it i'm calling it so hard you guys will run your

relationship back turbo no we won't i know look at your smiling he won't that's embarrassing that's embarrassing i think you'll run it back turbo one more time and then it'll be like armageddon one more time here's the problem is i didn't enjoy it the first time no one does no but i think that the trauma bond of it all like sucks you back in it's like the ocean it is hard like i'm being like light-hearted about it right now but it's a really bad idea i know it's bad but i always use this like metaphor as like or of the like messy room like it felt like a messy room when like we broke up it was the most messy breakup you guys could possibly imagine like imagine like a divorce with like seven children but it was like so much worse than that like i was so dramatic about it and it felt so huge and horrible to me that it was like i thought i was

gonna die like it really did documentary coming soon i keep i keep making these jokes that i mean well that's i what i will say is i commend the shit out of you because you're able from what you went through to be like yeah we had a messy breakup like if i were in your shoes because in my like brooke didn't do anything wrong she's not gonna say that like because she wants to fucking facetime him in an hour but like it's all him like he was awful and psycho and i just feel so much better getting that off my chest thank you like i just i commend you i commend you a lot for your ability he knows listen i'll say it to talk about it super nice i think that at some point in life there will be a netflix documentary about him and i have to say that sentence again i'm sorry anyway i want to go

to the heiress here's the thing i it makes me like it sounds so stupid and i know it's like anyone listening is like brooke, get the fuck up. Like, get up. Yeah, it's embarrassing. But I do feel like a certain like or just like an unsettling feeling about having like on unresolved issues with anybody. Like, I don't I don't I don't have that with anyone. I agree.

I agree with that. But I think that you're like you can have unresolved issues with resolved issues. It's not like it's not like, oh, I'm still so in love with him. I just want to still be with that. But I think that you're like, you can have unresolved issues or resolved issues. It's not like, it's not like, oh, I'm still so in love with him. I just want to still be with him. No, it's not. It isn't.

It really isn't. It's not. We'll see how the, how the, you know, cookie crumbles, how things unfold. I've seen the other side. I believe in you.

And things are looking bright. But here's what I will say is after my toxic relationship finally came to an end, I was like, I am never dating anyone in the entertainment industry again. Fuck them singers. Fuck them rappers. Fuck everything.

Yeah. What'd you say your type was? You said normies? Yeah, normies. I was picking the normies. I was picking up the normies and like saving them. Like I was fine. No, I'm kidding.

But I ended up dating two really normal guys back to back. And I thought that that was going to be the be all end all cure all for me like that my problem was dating these narcissistic toxic and I'm not saying like in the entertainment industry like yeah 100% and I met one of them on hinge the first one and hinge is my favorite thing in the world I will say you just deleted them right i did i got to pick them back up i deleted them thinking i was really in it with someone else and i just talk about that we'll talk about that later oh yeah yeah but i just did i just did a b2b normie

situation oh back to my bitch not b2b normies um and they were both great guys i really don't have much to like say about that but i'm realizing that there there does have to be a happy medium between like a little bit of fun toxicity for me i think it sounds horrible it does it sounds so maybe it's the mental illness in me but there does have to be a little bit of like spice yeah like i don't mind a little bit of jealousy yeah here's the thing i don't want i don't of like spice yeah like i don't mind a little bit of jealousy yeah here's the thing i don't want i don't particularly like want another like maybe like serial serial killer but like i wouldn't mind having like someone who gets a little jealous or like gets a little like it's like my most recent ex would like call me one time and i wouldn't answer you know and then

he just like wouldn't text whatever like and then i'd call him later and he'd be like i called like you were busy you know and i'd be like call me four times like like text me like like text me like just try harder like make it up you know like i don't care if you literally have to make it up be like what are you doing like i i just need a little bit of that to keep myself interested you know what i mean we were just talking about this on the episode that we accidentally um had a trash but like just the idea that like some people have these like completely normal like functional relationships where they see each other you know once and then another time a week later like it doesn't make sense at least to me x number one of two of the normies okay was like like that calling them normies like i don't think that's gonna go over well okay i don't i don't mean normies like as

yeah that is bad i guess i've said this on other podcasts when i say normies i literally mean they have a normal life with a normal job i don't mean normies like lesser than i literally just mean like like guys who aren't working in the entertainment industry yeah like and if anything that's like a compliment like they're sane and normal and fucking awesome you know what i mean um but like normie number one normie number one would literally have to like pencil me in like he'd be like okay so like next tuesday at four let's get coffee yeah and he didn't even have a job like that you know what i mean like he did but he didn't he was just like so type a about it you know what i mean and i would like lose my fucking mind i have even friends

like that where i'm like if i if i have to if i text you and you have to say like yeah i'll see you wednesday i'm not hanging out with you and i get that if you're so busy but i'm like you're literally my boyfriend you know what i mean you're my boyfriend like being like come over right now at like 8 p.m to cuddle would like stress him out and i'd be like what do you need like you're my boyfriend yeah like i need there has to be a bit of i really get that but it's hard because i don't really have a good reference point for like the normal individual yeah at all 100 i just dated a very normal guy and it was great i guess i guess the problem with that one was just that we didn't live in the same city yeah so tana's whole thing this this original normie normie number one

he was great so fine whatever he was fine moved across the country oh i didn't even talk about that yeah we like dated one time and we got in a big fight and our big fight was actually about that like him not having enough enrichment time for his enclosure like whole nine oh my god like that like i wanted to hang out last minute when i hadn't seen him in like two weeks first of all we were never gonna work and then we broke up over our like dumb little fight he was out of town for like a week and then came home and he was like i have to go to my house and i was just like upset and whatever and then he was mad that i was upset about that and it was just like a whole thing we had plans by the way if you're watching this we had plans and you bailed

on them stupid and um we tried to get back together and then he was like i'm moving across the country and that was like the whole thing which is just like so offensive really he had to me it's like he had to have known that. No. And he pulled up on me and was just like, I have great news. And I was like, what? And he was like, my business is expanding to New York. And I was like, how is that great news for me?

Long, long, like you were supposed to be like, oh, my God. Congratulations. Yeah. Like super sad about that. For sure. I wanted that like post XX for like a minute. That is a bummer. He was a he was a looker for sure. I don't like post XX for like a minute. That is a bummer. He was a he was a looker for sure.

I don't know if he had a lot going on upstairs, but. Definitely not. Giving Golden Retriever. Oh, my God. I'm doing it again. But then the very next one was was Golden Retriever. Yeah, I guess so. That's kind of why back to back went for two like very, very sweet guys who just like adored

me and treated me like a princess. I think that is your vibe. I think that is who you're supposed to be with i think that they both of those just had like really extenuating circumstances where like they it couldn't work out that's true that's the thing is now so now i'm back in my like kind of single era right and i have a fuck buddy um and i just god i want to leave him a yelp review. He is, I want to say in my entire life. And if you're watching this, see you later. He is my favorite fuck buddy I think I've ever had.

Ever? Ever. I think that he's a good fuck buddy because his type of demeanor is like not necessarily the guy that I go for to date. Like you were saying that I normally date like a golden retriever ass man. And I feel like I always attract guys like this that think that like what I want in a man is like to sass me to like humble me to like banter me like compete with your personality kind of thing where it's like yeah or just like you know what I mean like banter me until I like

die like Jeff the other day said that I like he's like you just love a TikTok boy who's gonna be your puppy like um you know what I mean like as in like I do kind of love a like he's like you just love a TikTok boy who's gonna be your puppy like you know what I mean like as in like I do kind of love a boy who's like it's like my puppy I fucking hate when someone's just like sassing the shit out of me gassing up this man

I think you do need like a sweeter like a sweet guy I love a sweetie sweetheart but I was gonna say so my fuck buddy doesn't really possess that so it's like perfect for a fuck buddy because it's like not what i not what you look for in as someone you want to date yeah but he's gonna see this and i don't mean that's ideal when you when you look for somebody you just want to have sex with you usually look for everything exactly the opposite of someone you would want to date right yeah but i've never done that i always get in these weird entanglements with my fuck buddies where it's like like fuck buddy turns to relationship

you know what i mean because i don't know i don't i don't know my type i just know like wait all of a sudden i like you but you and i also like love a man and we always talk about this pool boy um our shared fuck buddy wait i hate when we say that though and every time we talk about it i'm like we shouldn't you hate that but i don't know why you hate that so much sometimes you fuck him sometimes i fuck him i think it's fun i don't know why you hate that so much. Sometimes you fuck him. Sometimes I fuck him. I think it's fun. I don't think. But I think that the reason that I have such like a hesitance about it.

Is that a word? Because I see the comments where people are like, L.A. is such a cesspool. Like, that's so disgusting. They hook up with the same guy. But it is. It is. You are. You are correct.

But you have to. If you saw the guy, maybe you would feel differently. I don't know. Like, no. But we we both have admitted that we like fucking pool boy because you get to like play house for a night like when he like comes over it's like you guys could like cook dinner you act you're dating it's like baby for reference we call him pool boy because he's like five years younger than us or like four he's four years younger than me he's like two years younger than me okay well he's four years younger than me so i call him pool boy because it makes me feel young again i call him pool boy because

it's like the convenience of it like he's just like it's not cleaning the pool and see no but like but it's like i don't know how to explain it he gives like all of a sudden he's cleaning your pool next minute he's inside of you it's just very like it feels safe like there's something like safe about it he's such a like sweetheart he's so nice and like he's just he's like a husband for a night exactly but that's why i think i always fall for my fuck buddies because like like one minute we're like baking a cake and the next minute he's like raw dogging me and then i'm like oh that was sweet that's a really beautiful story yeah that never happens to me with mine anyway speaking of fuck buddies i want you to can we talk about your most recent situation

please that was not a fuck buddy i know i know i know but i feel like the sex was like a fun part of it we can talk about it i so obviously like i talked about having gone through like literally the world's worst breakup i was like fucking miserable i was like not a human i was i was a shell of a person for like months and you're really good about like not immediately like you know i've always said get over someone get under someone else no i was like i was i was so traumatized i could not i couldn't eat let alone like touch another person like i was like i could i could never so i need me some of that my first like the first like moment i was like you know know what? I feel like I'm feeling OK again.

Like maybe I'll put myself back out there. I like had seen this guy. She posted Instagram story. No, enough. No one's going to know. I know it was like a friend of mine had posted this guy and I was like, he's so like he's he's a good looking guy. I also just want to like let the people know that it's not like your friend posted their barista

like he's famous no he's not don't say that but i'm listen i'm trying to talk about him in a way that i can actually talk about him okay people don't he would love this shit anyway my roommate posted this guy she was into him whatever and so i was like you know what not into him but like she was a fan of his okay like what he does he's a brilliant tennis player and i was like you know what he's a really like really good looking guy historically you guys know me okay you guys know i never go for like really good looking guys and i was like you know what i'm gonna get back on the horse like i'm gonna go back outside and i'm gonna i'm gonna talk to this guy it was shocking to see you kind of be with someone that like the whole world thinks is hot do you know what i mean like traditionally hot you're saying too much that could be fucking literally anyone

so i was excited about it i dm'd him like i just thought i was having fun i was like oh this is gonna be like a fun thing like for me to do yeah like and immediately it just went into like violent sexting violent which is so unlike you i swear to god which is that's so fun if you know me like as like much as i talk about like sex and stuff on the podcast like i am a not like not that i'm non-sexual but like it does not come naturally to me at all like you got if you saw me during this like sex fest, I accidentally had for fucking three weeks straight. I was literally like phoning a friend like on Thesaurus dot com, literally like another word for choke. Like, what the fuck do I say? Like, I didn't know what to say out at dinner.

And you'd like we'd lose Brooke for twenty five minutes. Like she'd just be like, I was like obsessed with this guy. I had never met him. We'd only ever talked over social media. And like we just started texting and stuff. And I was like, OK, I really like he with this guy. I had never met him. We'd only ever talked over social media and like we just started texting and stuff. And I was like, OK, I really like he's so hot. So it's like literal just like violent sexting. I felt like I was in an e-harmony relationship.

No, I'm like literally I would look over at your phone and be like, I can't wait. It's so unlike me. It's like it's funny now to think about because i'm like wait what but i wanted i wanted the what he was offering you know what i mean so i had to hold up my end yeah it progressed and i was just like i thought it was just that you know what i mean you're sexting a guy it's like obviously that's a relationship but at a certain point it's like we run out of things to talk about like you could only sext someone so much before it's like no and it was like i don't know it just it really took the edge off honestly and then

it like we just became obsessed with each other I was like oh my god like it was all of a sudden like good morning baby like how's your day full love bombs full like a full love bomb situation and if you know me that's how you get me okay love bomb I love a good love bomb

I'm like fighting it right now no it's the greatest thing in the world to me yeah it's the only thing that makes sense to me. It was perfect. And mind you, I still have not met this man in person. Yeah. Okay, so this is basically an online relationship that I'm in. She's like walking around being like, my little boyfriend texted me.

He was. And we're like, you haven't met him. I won't speak for him, but I was dating him. Okay. Like, I was dating this man. He might not have been dating me back, but I was dating him. Okay. Like I was dating this man. He might not have been dating me back, but like I was like really invested in this situation. I was like, this is my guy. And then what did you do? She did one of my favorite terms.

I just want to say this is it's one of my favorite fucking terms. Wait, what is it? You Star Trek for the day. If you go more than 15 miles, really 25 miles. Okay. No, 20 miles. You're Star Trekking for the day. 25 miles, okay? No, 20 miles. You're star trekking for the day. I did.

You star trekked across the country. And you met for the first time. No, so this man, he travels for work. Like his job, he like moves around a lot. He was like, listen, I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. for Valentine's Day. And I was like, perfect. Like, I love D.C. Never been.

I thought you'd been. of course i've never been that abe lincoln monument just gets me fucking wet lincoln memorial set me up yeah he was like let's spend valentine's day like we'll spend a couple days and i was like absolutely again i've never met this man so i literally flew across the country she was downstairs picking out like puffers and shit i was like are you guys i was but i was excited like yeah i mean we had mutual friends and stuff i knew he wasn't like a psychopath he's such a fucking he's a really girthy guy like just like stop he was a sweetheart he was a really nice guy and he was like he was just nice i also think that's weirdly like best case like i think valentine's day when you're dating someone is so much pressure you've never met them like i have never met this guy and i was going i was flying to dc for valentine's day like

that's actually now thinking back on it i'm like that's psycho but i love it i loved it but i went and it was amazing honestly we had the best time she came she saw enough she conquered we had the best time he's kind of honestly a, like kind of. We like went we literally went to like the Holocaust Memorial and like. So romantic. Where Lincoln was assassinated. Like we like really did DC like like a field trip. Yeah. And I loved it.

It's such a funny day. This guy's like hot. OK. And I don't I don't usually like that's not my type. Yeah. You were just downstairs saying that the fatter your exes would get, the hotter they were to you. Continue. Continue. i did say that um but it's it's usually off-putting when someone's like really good looking to me and it's like i usually assume their personality sucks or like they're not funny or like something and this guy it just it didn't really make sense like he was good looking

he was funny it like he needed something off about him and he was a nerd so i was like that's it yeah loved it and we had the best time it's such a funny day like holocaust museum and then just like rabbit sex no stop you're making this more inappropriate than it has to be it was a really good time honestly listen whatever i we had the best time i came back here i saw him when he came back here ultimately we decided like it just wasn't like it literally wasn't gonna work your lifestyles weren't matching up well he like i said he travels a lot for his job and i made like kind of a comment i was like hey like listen it's fine if you're gone all the time but i need you to talk to me more and he's like yeah no i can't i was like okay perfect like but i will say i think that

it was good for kind of getting you over it was it was exactly like perfect for what it was it like taught me like first of all lord bless my ex but there's there's better fish in the sea you know it was just it was really exciting for me and honest to god listen i'm still hopeful about it so listen if you're listening to this hey and you feel like calling me you're in a really good story arc right now from where you've been from canceled. Because obviously the last that people saw you were you kind of tripping over Joe. Oh, you know. And now you're like besties with his new girlfriend.

Oh, my God. Love her. We started talking about this on the last episode or like when we tried to film this episode before. Yeah. And like that was the very last episode. We didn't know it was the last the very last episode we didn't know was going to be the last episode of cancelled but i talked about joe and how he had told me like oh you know i found this new girl whatever amazing to us accidentally like getting like getting fully cancelled episodes over like that was the last thing that was ever going to be put out there

and he got a new girlfriend and i immediately got a new boyfriend but i didn't talk to him yeah literally the entire time like i I didn't talk to him yeah literally the entire time like I didn't talk to him from the time canceled ended until day before yesterday really yeah I called him when uh your breakup happened when my breakup happened just to be like bro like you weren't that bad you gotta hear this bless your heart but this is like my first time really being around him love his new girl like i actually love his new girlfriend and if you told me that if you told me that a year ago like i would have been like you're fucking delusional like i would never i could never can i ask a question yes you

and i have both talked about how much we love being friends with our exes new things like i love that like my ex is dating someone else and they're my friend, it's such a bonus. It's not that I love being their friend. It's that I, like, I always try to see what they saw and then I always end up accidentally seeing what they see. Oh, I get what you're saying.

So, like, I always end up, like, accidentally falling in love with the girl. Yeah. You're in love with Joe's girlfriend. No, I love, I like her more than him. No offense, Joe. But I do, she's hilarious.

She's fucking hilarious. And she, like, to me, she makes way more sense. more like because i knew that him and i never made sense yeah but it didn't matter to me i was like i love him yeah now it's like okay perfect i was hoping this would be a segue into what you found out she saw you doing oh oh fuck you um so just just come out and say it come on tana purposefully got me drunk before this episode because she didn't think i was loose enough in the last one but i did i did okay so i ran into joe and his girlfriend at a friend's birthday party like a few months back i didn't really like like speak to them at all but i saw them and it was like a fine interaction yeah and i blacked out for obvious reasons yeah because i was like i was just like

trying to feel comfortable okay i blacked out and i sucked it wait my dad's gonna see this can i say it there's a restaurant here in la bar and restaurant and the best way i know how to describe it is like if texas roadhouse wasn't restaurant. Like if it was just a hole, it's like a hole in the wall version of like a Texas Roadhouse kind of bar thing, bar situation that everyone goes to. It's called Barney's Beanery. Brooks subbed dick behind a Barney's Beanery.

Brooks subbed dick behind the bar. It was a major low point in my life. I was really going through a lot and honest to God I just had to feel something. Like what brought you to like the alley? Like what? brought me to the alley be for real so um you sucked pool boy off behind barney's beanery which is crazy for you it was just like funny like haha it was just a bit you're making me sound horrible we have to talk about something you've done after this but that's fine it was just like an innocent okay first of all nobody could see us except no

it wasn't that it was just like we were just being funny like haha like it was like i was going through a breakup i was going through a really hard time and sometimes you just need to suck dick in an alley but we emerged from the shadows and the only two people standing outside are joe and his new girlfriend and i knew in that moment i was like they know because i knew joe knew i hooked up with pool boy yeah and i was like i just couldn't look him in the eye and i never knew for sure i never i never like fully validated like i was just like oh god i i think they know yeah but then the other day i was feeling really comfortable with joe's new girlfriend i was like and i you know what i was like i was like she's my bestie i'm gonna tell her i'm like

i stuck dick behind this barney's beanery and she's like oh girl i saw i go what imagine someone like imagine someone like loving the podcast and like walking by and just it wasn't like that it was nobody saw it she didn't see it nobody saw it and she's like you were walking away we come back from behind the dumpster or wherever we were i don't know because i wasn't there but anyway tell us a story about you honestly i'm like surprised i've never done that like specifically in an alley like behind a place cool boy has dragged you out into an alley and i know that you're lying i have this guy bless his heart he's such an angel but he's 20 22 yeah he's horny super horny i fucked him in a lot of like public restrooms yeah i was there the first time yeah that was the turbulent time that's like chris

miles will never let that one go you know we talked about that already on canceled yeah we did that was not my brightest judgment you know what i mean um chris is in a new relationship what are your thoughts i actually fucking love it like i fucking ship it which i never thought i would get to a place where i like ship my ex with someone else that's what you feel all of a sudden i feel like it's once you don't care anymore but what's like do you know a lot about her i feel like I don't really know anything about her I'm not like super super close with her but I like know her like pretty well and like you know what I mean just like LA like party friends

type of thing but she was like she's always been very nice to me like anytime I was like going through sobriety or anything she's been like so nice to me and like is she sober I don't know she's not giving me sober I have no idea to be honest with you right now I just like they're such a match made you know they're they're perfect for each other and i ship it i do which is kind of wild i like i love to watch it i love is it a weird feeling like when you're like i could

never see this man with another girl and then you do and you're like perfect on it like people will like send me like they posted photos together today and a hell of people were sending them to me like people i know and i feel like people like are wanting to elicit a reaction send me like they posted photos together today and a hell of people were sending them to me like people I know. And I feel like people like are wanting to elicit a reaction from me like, oh, my God, fuck that. And I'm like, yes, like I actually like I thought I was like, those are cute. You're stronger than me. If it were like my most actual recent ex. Yeah.

If they were to send me a photo of like him with someone new, I think I would actually like kill myself and like leave a note that said like it was his fault i got i got hit with two bombs today like i said i was just kidding i didn't like the look you guys gave each other i got hit with two bombs today i saw my my normie x that moved to new york with his new girlfriend and like chris is like post with you know whatever right double homicide and like but normie x like it's like we couldn't be together because we moved across the country and just because we couldn't be together but like in my head like do you know what i mean like we couldn't be together because he moved across the country so i'm like that's like me and my delusional like we couldn't be together because he was so busy like really he probably just didn't want to be 110 like definitely

just yeah i'm living in cotton candy la la land but i will live in my delusion until i die and i don't care normie x is it's like fuck you you cannot move on you need to be hung up on me for the rest but like i think when you exhaust something with someone for so long and you know that you can't like i know i can't be with him so why the fuck it's i don't want someone to be alone forever and it's like i've always said this about my ex to be alone forever i just i just know i can't be with him so it's like you know what i mean like i actually am genuinely like happy to see him move on and chris i've always like felt that way about that it's like you know like even when i've broken up

and we've been like awful and someone around me i'll be like oh my god i like want him to die he's the worst i'll be like no no knock on wood no like chris is like i very much just like want him to live like a happy healthy good life you know that is a good thing. I mean, all of us love Chris. It's not like anyone like wishes him bad, but I just can't relate to that because I wish my ex is like the worst. I just feel like I'm such a manifester. Like when I wish someone the worst or wish a bad thing, it like happens a lot. And that's true.

And I'm lying for no reason. Like, I literally like pray for my exes to like do well. Yeah. Do you pray? I can't imagine you praying. I don't pray, but I ask for things like I don't know i don't know who i'm talking to but i do i'm serious i go to bed every night like i forgot i asked her something big last night i forget what it was i don't know but i woke up this morning my ex was on the lollapalooza lineup i'm like i will

kill myself but that just means we're going to lollapalooza so that's kind of a slay don't don't be mad at me but i'm gonna piss myself okay no go pee because then I want to do pop culture and then maybe like a fun little game I feel like that was a pretty hearty healthy safe and sound love life update from what we've been doing love life wise I feel like I have accidentally said too much and you have said too little really yeah I'm trying to think about anything else I can say one thing about me being on 75 hard and in my like sobriety journey that's like one thing i've obviously been doing since canceled i'm almost done with it um is i don't make as rogue of like fun decisions to talk about on the podcast like i think so safe and sound yeah so that's which yeah i kind of hate

but i am trying to pick back up my roster and be a little crazy. And I'm hoping that will make for some great canceled content. Oh, listen, she's going to come back in full force right now. I'm going to carry us. I'm going to carry us home. But I do think that obviously we have a lot more to update the people on,

but I think that was like a good little, you know, just some things that we were doing. And I have a bunch of pop culture topics to talk about which is probably where i'll get myself in the most trouble anyway would love to should we talk about some pop culture just for good measure do we weigh in on hayley and selena i think um i try to but then every time i do i like get canceled like a little and i'm a little scared of that you're actually very very funny about it like you know what i mean though like people try to give you shit like i just i love playing devil's advocate i love playing like what if you were in that position and it's not me choosing sides it's

not me like um necessarily like deciding like which team i'm on it's just me being like listen if justin bieber came to you i'm talking to you. Yes. Whatever the question is. Yes. Tomorrow. And was like, you know what? I don't see anyone else. The only thing I see is you. OK, I love you. I want to get married. What would you do? I'd marry him.

Exactly. That's what Hailey Bieber did. The thing is, is I if you talk to me six months ago, like I I'm so like I love Ha Haley Bieber I am her biggest fucking fan and that's why it's been so hard for me because seeing all of this shit is like very undeniable like I definitely think the eyebrow post like I was talking about like if you and I hated a bitch it definitely does feel intentional if you and I hated a bitch for rightful reasons I would never do it like that but I mean like and that bitch was posting her eyebrows that's some shit i would just like yeah we would think it was funny like let's just post our eyebrows and just certain things like her like gagging at taylor swift

on that show i know but i feel like it was like a wild and out like type show but even if it is a wild and out show like there are some just be smarter even if you genuinely fucking feel that way like yeah you can't grow the taylor Swift that's like the most dangerous thing in the world to do by the way I'm going to the Taylor Swift air is worth this weekend and that's also kind of how I feel that it's like even if I felt that like this way like is like you could tell that until this she felt like she could do all these sly things to Selena under the radar and that her fans would like never she was being like sneaky like invincible internet lives forever 100 and it's just obviously selena like she took the high road and she's like a sweet sweetie and like i understand why everyone is team selena and like so am i you know i do too

but what i will say is i saw this tweet that was like y'all are so quick to talk about like how mean the media was to Paris and Lindsay and Brittany and then like it's happening right now before your eyes and it's like it's just crazy to me because it's exactly what's happening and it's like it's crazy how much a man can get away with because in reality the root of all of this and I hate to say it I said one thing on TikTok I said one fucking thing I made a video like if Justin wasn't Defending me and I was Haley I would fuck his brother And I stand by that I would like if I was Haley in that situation I would have had been gone

But like I made this one TikTok and it made all these like Snapchat headlines And it was like my worst fear because I'm such a fucking Die hard Justin Bieber fan But it is like it's imagine being his wife And like people are going on stage or you're going on stage And people are chanting like fuck Haley Bieber In the audience and he's like That's what i'm saying almost like eating it up like i

think she is finally getting karma for maybe a lot of the little like sly things that have gone on over the years but i think at the same time the media and people are just taking it way too fucking far but it all does like my point of this is like it all done like this is all justin's fault as much as i hate to say yeah and if if everything that everybody is assuming is true which is like the whole narrative is like you know he doesn't even like her and he's just with her to like make selena jealous or like whatever it is imagine how sad that really if it is true how sad it is like and how horrible you're being like i said this like last time we tried to film this episode but like if hayley were like if something were to happen to

her she would like kill herself or something like something horrible which is what happens when you bully like when tens of millions of people bully someone on the internet god knows what would happen so i just feel like that's the only reason that i ever defend her online is because it's like why like not we do not know these people and it is just so crazy to me that like the entire narrative is Haley or Selena and not like Justin juggled them like juggling balls literally juggling but he was juggling those balls like and that's kind of where it you know it is sad like yeah nobody has ever said a word about him like he might have done something wrong in this situation.

As the woman in that situation, I would be even more sick. I would be like, fuck you. You did this. I couldn't imagine like me personally, like if I were with somebody and I'm so in love with this person, but like the entire world, like literally hundreds of millions of people are so attached to his previous relationship. I would have already been gone. I'm so sorry.

Like I couldn't have handled that. No, that within itself is like so hard. Like all the edits and all that. It would have already been gone i'm so sorry like i couldn't have handled that no that within itself is like so hard like all the edits and all that would have been so hard for me and then like the opposite of that would be to be selena and to have all those people invested in my previous relationship that i'm trying to get over and the world can't like it's so hard for both of them and so i feel bad like i feel equally horrible for like Selena and Haley and not bad for Justin at all. No offense, but like, yeah. And you'd think that if he was just like chilling like that, it would be like the appropriate time to kind of stand up for your lady. Get the fuck up, Justin, and say something.

Oh, my God. I can't see. That's a problem is that I am such a believer that like he could actually like I like kill someone and I would be like, they had to go. I like him too. But I felt like if, I mean, it's really, it's horrible. Both of them, like they're victims. Like alleviate them. You know what I mean?

Like do something crazy. For sure. I don't know. Speaking of horrible relationships. Uh-oh. Taiga. I. Oh-oh. Tyga? I... I...

Oh, no. I don't know how to tread lightly here. It doesn't make any sense to me. I wonder what they talk about. Like, what do Avril and Tyga talk about? What? I want her to be happy. If you're happy.

What do they talk about? That, I feel like my opinion is very skewed on Tyga. Like, I'm trying to think of him how like the public thinks i haven't had like a bad experience with taiga but it's just like who hasn't dated taiga like avril's an icon avril needs to date like an icon i've never seen a couple where i so much i'm like what like where did that that's like if the pope stepped out dating like summer ray that's how i feel like it makes no sense oh my god oh my god like just tara's world and joe biden that's a good fit to be honest the other day i was eating at catch steak and i'm sitting there

at like a business dinner and i'm like no makeup on to like looking beat which just made it so much worse And they walk in and of course like avril and taiga walk in and of course i'm like making it all about me I'm, like this is so weird. Like what's going on? Like this is so weird They were just like sitting like far from each other at this table Like I don't really feel like I like you're like texting daily mail Like looks like they don't even like your daily Well, what I was going to say was daily mail was already texted I walked outside and there was some paparazzi and i was talking about this

today that like every celebrity you know calls the paparazzi on themselves and i feel like it is like a 60 40 situation where it's like sometimes 60 percent of the time yeah 60 percent of the time it's organic it's the paparazzi caught them they're outside it's a it's a hot spot restaurant there's always paparazzi outside for no reason as well you also don't go to catch steak if you don't think the paparazzi you're gonna 100% catch restaurant at all listen i worked there the other 40% of paparazzi is very much like the pr machine working and you call them and because i obviously have done so much of both in my life maybe a little more of the calling. I love the self-awareness. Over time, I've made such good friends

with a lot of these paparazzis. And I love it because I love the fucking tea and I love the gossip. And they know more than fucking anyone, because especially the shit they can't put out and who calls them and so on and so forth. And there are certain paparazzis that are like bouncing around,

like genuinely they get the 95% of their shots because they just go to places and people are there and then there's the other paparazzi who like aren't lifting a finger leaving their house until someone gives them a tip and they know they're getting the shot because they're like a little more do you know what i mean like they make more money they're a little more esteem that they just like they're not they're not just waiting you know what i mean and i was really close for a long time with one of those paparazzis. Like he, him and I were like this, like not only would he like take my photos and whatever,

but like he would tell me every celebrity who called them at every moment of the day. And it was so fucking interesting and awesome. I love that. And I, I walked outside and I saw him and he like took some photos of me and then I give him a hug and he was like, you know what I'm waiting for?

And it was just like super funny. Cause I was like, they could, did they call them? Well, I, that's the assumption point. All signs point to that. What I will say, waiting for and it was just like super funny because i was like they did they call them well i that's the assumption point all signs point to that what i will say not to defend but i was a catch employee there are people at catch who will call oh yeah like the workers will call there is

someone whose job who's like actual job is to it's like um celebrity relations and like you want to make it look like celebrities are coming so you yes like call them yeah that makes sense like pr for the restaurant but it's way more exciting to think that taiga called this guy i know this guy you know what i mean and i just i don't know but i mean i feel like the relationship in my opinion has to be for press they have to either be doing a song or like something just doesn't make

sense about it at all to me the Selena Gomez like Drew Taggart like when that relationship was like coming about I'm like there's just no way that's like almost the same way I feel this to me feels a little weirder Selena Gomez and Chainsmoker boy make way more sense to me that's what i'm saying like that was like a little bit more normal but still i think selena gomez is like yeah like she should date like the pope

yeah literally let's talk about mod son for a second here we accidentally skipped over that one what do we think um happened there do you think that she maybe threw him a curveball was it like a mutual um disagreement that they had and they separated what do you what do you know what do you what insight do you have i really don't know what happened between the two of them okay obama i literally was laying here a day ago and monson was on FaceTime. Tell me what you know, bitch. Oh, my God. I can't look back at the camera. I pulled in.

She tried to listen. Tell us what you know. Listen, this is not going to do that because what I can say, Monson, we love you. Yeah, we're on really cool, fun, fresh terms. And I love that the only time i saw mod son in the entire time after we broke up i always say this he's the only person i've ever dated for like a fucking year broken up with and then never saw them again like just like we we actually like you know what i mean like clean cold cut which i think the only time i ever saw him was like two

years after we broke up in New York city. And I walk up to him and I'm like, karma is a great fucking song. Like I'm ready to go off on him. And he looks at me and he goes, you got bangs. And I go,

I what? Like after two years, that's all you're going to fucking say to me is you got bangs. It became an entire bit in my life. Like whenever, like someone has so much to say and they just don't say anything. It's you got bangs. Like it's actually, it'll always blow my mind that he is inspirational for that honest to god because

i could never even if i didn't give a fuck about a person like you think i'm gonna go my whole life without talking to them again yeah so it's nice you know to like be cool he was one of my favorite exes of yours i thought he was a really good healthy relationship or at least from what i saw you and i weren't super close at that time like that was like right in the beginning of our like real friendship so i don't have a lot to say about it but i was like shocked when you guys broke up i was like wait what yeah i was it definitely like happened very quick like we were just i i was saying this the other day i was just like we were so angry and like now i don't even know why and it's funny i actually will share a fun story like i so he wrote that song karma about me which i hope you choke which everyone in my life it's so funny i like song eats if if anyone's mad

at me in my life they're posting karma on their story like it is just a universal like i did i did it and i'm so excited to see what avril gets i'm so fucking excited i'm sorry oh she's probably gonna get like a but i feel like more no offense like not that you're like a really polarizing figure but i feel like he can't yeah so much of his fan base is like an overlap that i don't think he can be as like yeah dangerous about you that was a bad song though he literally said I hope your new man gives you something that you can't get rid of which is just crazy it's actually crazy I got a song I got a song called go fuck yourself but I will just say the mean songs they hit way better than the you know like I was just happy to get a song but

honestly um like he wrote so many nice sweet songs about me and like that's that one is the one that like definitely sticks out after we broke up for some reason i was in a really dark place as we were breaking up as well like i just i've talked about it i just i was you know substances and me were fucking best friends and i was just not in the best place and after we broke up for some reason, I just really didn't remember a lot of the things I did. And he wrote Karma. And I was just like, who, me? Why would you write this song about little old me? What did I do wrong?

And I love living in delusion. He told me that one of the last times that he saw me, he picked me up from my house. And I get in his car and i'm like faded as fuck and i'll just like bleep the name i guess because i've said i fucked this person like before so it doesn't really matter but i get in his car and he's like i want to fix this like tell me what i can do like or whatever like let's how do we talk about this and i look him dead in the eyes and i go i just fucked an hour ago it was why would I say that to like no wonder he wrote that song like I

have no recollection of this I would have written that song about you if I had any talent at all like are you kidding me like I have no recollection of this I'm just finding out all these little like breadcrumbs of things I did and I'm like you should have wrote meaner shit like I'm out here living in delusion world like that i did nothing fucking wrong during this breakup that's fucking that's hilarious honestly karma wasn't even that bad it's you know it's a banger and apparently in new york city the only time i saw him when he walked up to me and said and said you got bangs we went for i was only talking i was talking to you like he walked up to me. Just no wonder.

He was like, you got bangs. Listen to me. If, if nothing else comes with the, of this episode, this is a formal, formal apology to Joe.

Let me tag onto that. And Chris, after having been in a relationship where somebody actually did just do so many wrong things. I feel like Joe didn't do anything wrong. He was nothing but on. He was just honest. He was like, listen, I don't want to be with you. I feel like Joe didn't do anything wrong. He was nothing but on. He was just honest. He was like, listen, I don't want to be with you. I was like, how dare you?

But it's so easy to like villainize the shit out of someone. Well, he was nothing but he was just honest. Like he was he always just told me, like, listen, this is like this is not. Yeah, that's not the vibe. And I was like, you don't mean that. He meant that, first of all. And second of all, after that, I ended up with somebody who just lied. So much about everything.

Any more pop culture? Let's see. People are saying that this is finally the official downfall of the Kardashians. Like how they're not invited to the mess and like whatever. There's just no such thing. Even if we wanted it to happen, it wouldn't happen. I personally don't want it to happen because they entertain me. Amanda Bynes just got 50 on 50 holded. 50 on holded 51 50 hold it amanda and it happens to the best

of us okay she was like walking naked down like downtown la i think but she asked for help herself i think or she's the one who called which is amazing and it makes me sad because she was such like an integral like or like an important part at least of my like childhood like she was my idol and it makes me sad it's you have to wonder like what happened 100 i think it does just like a test to all the fucked up shit that happens to like child stars but do you know what bothers me so much that i saw on twitter takes i was obviously researching these topics before i wrote them down and i was um i saw this tweet that had like 100,000 retweets and it was like

all these photos of her like looking so good and like you know what I mean just like in her like prime acting like hot girl era and it was like what did you guys do to Amanda Bynes like she was so fine then and it's like I see this all the time like even like how Cara Delevingne was just like kind of being wild

people saw her spotted looking a little crazy acting a little crazy and then like eight months later she was at the Vanity Fair thing like looking just like just recently this past like couple weekends ago she looks amazing she looked amazing and all the comments are like great to see her healthy again and it's so it's like what why are

you not on her side when she's doing that like that sucks well and people just like so equate in Hollywood like if a woman looks when she's doing that like that sucks well and people just like so equate in hollywood like if a woman looks good she's doing good do you know what i mean like if amanda vines like looked fine right now like people wouldn't do you know what i mean i mean i guess it seemingly correlates but it doesn't really make sense a lot of times i feel like when somebody's like really thin and they look amazing that's like when they're at their worst like especially people with like drug issues and stuff because it's like like it's such a wild thing to me that people have just always done that like oh she's she looks so amazing glad to see she's doing better

like that's that doesn't mean that like she could still be like in a dark ass place you know what I mean yeah I don't know I don't know I hope she's okay Amanda we love you yeah I do love her so much and I'm sad about that Lindsayindsey lohan's pregnant there's nothing like i wish there was more i want to know more i want to see the kid now wait who's her baby daddy who is her baby daddy we've never even thought about that yeah it's like just this dude doesn't really matter it's lindsey lohan's kid that's true we think megan and mgk are broken up for sure right i think they should be you do that's my personal opinion why i'm i get scared to be controversial because like we have like hunter and like people who like tie

us to these people a little bit but i not that i think that mgk is like a bad person or anything but i just i see some toxic like vibes between the two of them i don't i don't really feel like that's a healthy relationship in my opinion and see i love it i romanticize the shit out of it healthy relationship no like i want them to do what you want i want them to be together forever i romanticize the shit out of it you know it's so bad bad bunny's ex bitch is suing him for 40 million dollars because she said bad bunny and he put it on a song baby or whatever yeah which is crazy honestly he's got 40 million to spare

Tiger Woods' girlfriend is also suing him or like I don't know if it's his girlfriend or fiance dude you know Tiger Woods' wife is like the richest woman literally like ever because of her divorce which is so goaded she collected like 100 something mil on the divorce because she took like half of him right

she's brilliant I would too see I always like think oh I would never Which is so goaded. She collected like, what, a hundred something mil on the divorce. Because she took like half of him, right? She's brilliant. I would too. See, I always like think, oh, I would never take money from a guy. If he cheated on me dozens, hundreds of times, I'm taking everything. I'll take all of it. I'm taking all of it no matter what. Any way I can get, you know what I mean? Work smarter, not harder, right?

I think that about myself. But then I think about like what guys have done to me. And I'm like, no, like he's so funny.'s so no i feel like honestly i could see a guy cheating on you and like right now if you could take half of this man's now like you wouldn't i could never yeah i wouldn't have taken half of no she's just nothing is still nothing she goes to suck his dick behind a barney's beanery no that's a different one who's mackenzie scott oh she also took millions of them is she the one how much did she get oh yeah she's lit these bitches shits are a club like a book club but they all just sit around and count

their motherfucking ex's money that is the most inspirational thing i've ever fucking how do you even like like did she have it in her account like how do you even how do you get that all right what i want to know is like how is jeff bezos not smart enough to like be like this is if i cheat on you because because at the time that they got married she was making significantly more money than him that's why so the prenup i think if i'm not mistaken i think the prenup that they signed was like she this is what i'm saying believe in the poor boy she at the time was making like significantly more money than him so like when once amazon took off and stuff it like the prenup still applied or like whatever it was oh my god so lady got half of his out there if you're with

if you're with the pogue but she was way more successful than him she believed in him that's crazy and she helped him it's not like she like did nothing she really like amazon took off because of her because she's a woman and he could have never done it on his own. That's enough on pop culture. Honestly, I feel like I so I have a really rogue segment idea. OK. And I tweeted today. I didn't have a prenup.

Yeah. So he didn't have a prenup because right at the time she was making more money. They both are so ugly. Oh, Mauryury 136 billion never mind 136 billion nobody's ugly with 136 billion so sexy and crazy and first of all ugly you i'm like my ears perk up i'm like ugly so today i tweeted and was like what kind of segments do you want to see on the canceled podcast? And they just want to see the canceled podcast tweet back was like, isn't it always you and Brooke? Like, what kind of segment do you mean?

Like, we just want the podcast. And I was like, all right. OK, so I left the segment making into my own hands. Right. Oh, good. And I my favorite tick tocker right now, by far, like by a landslide. Octopussy. Octopus lover.

Oh, that, That too though. Pussy PSA. He is the funniest person on fucking TikTok. If you guys don't know, he basically does these bits where people will be like, act like Amelia Earhart

getting lost. You know what I mean? And then he'll have to sit there and like modern day-ify Amelia Earhart getting lost in wherever she got lost. I don't know if I'm educated enough on him.

He'll be like he just did one that was like be the fifth president that didn't make it on to Mount Rushmore and then he's like on the phone and he's like are you kidding me? Like it's just so fucking funny. I can't do it justice. Go watch him. I'm his biggest fan. But it inspired me

because one night in Miami Paige and I were high as fuck. And he made this TikTok about like the Trojan horse. And do you know what the Trojan horse was? Okay, I'm going to explain this to you in the best way I possibly can. Like a bunch of people wanted to attack another group of people. And so this one guy was like, okay, we like, imagine it was like inside of something like the met gala

okay like these people wanted to attack people inside of the met gala you know what i mean so they all got in this giant statue that was like a horse and they were all like hiding inside with their like guns and their knives and then they got inside and they got out of the horse statue and they attacked them this was like a real thing in history, which is fucking crazy to me. It was like a decoy. Like, and I've been realizing through Octopus Lovers TikToks

that I don't really know a lot about history. Oh. And I think it could be fun today if Amari read things to us and we took our best stab at what we think they are. You know, I just brushed up

on all my history in Washington, D.C. Yeah, she brushed up on a lot of things. I brushed up on so many things. She was brushing and ushing and blushing. So this is, are you smarter than a fifth grader? Cancelled edition, which I can't wait. Hello, ladies and genitals. We are gathered here today.

I'm just kidding. Okay, so yeah, I have like like i think like 10 to 15 historical questions i'm honestly very very for a second i was like do i just like switch these out and make them just like he said racially motivated he said imagine if i was like when was slavery abolished i'm like what was martin luther's last name columbus set sail from spain on what three ships bonus in what year the nina the pinta the santa maria no way what year 17 1492 i almost said 1942 74 no but you were right with the ships you were right the year columbus sailed the ocean blue 1492 the nina the pinta and the santa maria the nina the pinta the santa maria

bitch why did the u.s join world war ii okay come on they were mad because because because of the um they discovered uh popolat poland invaded Poland invaded the Hiroshima. And what does invade it even mean? The attack on Pearl Harbor, babe. No, I knew that. Why was everyone so mad about this tea? Like, why was everyone so mad about

that was a joke. The attack on Pearl Harbor? So like the US was mad about the attack on Pearl Harbor, which was. Hawaii? How we we? Because they were taxing. Your favorite place to literally travel to.

The Pearl Harbor happened in Hawaii? Yes. Yes. If gun to my head, I would have said Boston, Massachusetts. You know, in high school, I marched in a Pearl Harbor parade. My dance team, dancing to it, had pom poms and everything. I was such a slick. So the U.S. started a whole war over some tax. The tax on tea. What did you So the U.S. started a whole war over some spilled tea?

What did you hope? The U.S. started a whole war if your house got attacked? I thought it was something, something... What? Okay. So the war was on Japan and then the U.S. was like, we're mad too? And then we did the internment camps. So the Pearl Harbor was Japan attacking us.

Okay. We're kidding. Come on, come on. This one. We knew this. Who was the second president of the United States? But please, please, even if you get your guess, please give me a fair chance.

Please. Okay, here we go. Oh my God. The problem is, is I could sit down and make you an MLA formatted 30 page PowerPoint on every single thing

that has happened date and time on Justin and Selena. And I don't know the second motherfucking president who's the second president you're googling it and i know you're because you're a cheater liar i was never gonna guess john adams benjamin franklin was never a president right no he was but who invented light bulb who was the second president? John Adams. John Adams. She said it. Oh, John Adams?

Yeah. I was never going to guess that, though. I Googled it. That sounds so fake. I Googled it, and he's not on it. Something in apple juice brand. If he's not on a bill, I don't give a fuck. Like, John Adams, apple juice.

If he's not on a bill, I don't give a fuck. Babe, Barack's not on a bill. I love you, Barack. That was our sexiest president for real. For sure. Okay, okay. I would do any Michelle can hear you

the statue of liberty was a gift to the United States from which country? France! is France a country? and what's it made of? what's it made of? ceramic she's like french fries what's it made of? copper bitch

that's why it oxidizes it's it was gold or it was it was bronze like when it got there and it turned green yeah because it oxidizes no one painted the statue of liberty green no it like oxidizes because of the water and like the moisture like what happens to like uh you'd think it'd be like ombre then well over the course of like a lot of years no no yeah okay who was the most famous conductor for the underground railroad harry tubman was that it yes yeah she's like who is that where did the pilgrims land? They landed? Ellis Island. I'm like,

Epstein Island. The pilgrims land. What does that mean? Were they like coming from space or were they skydiving? No, I know this. Wait, I don't. Can we talk about the landing more?

Where did they land? The pilgrims obviously traveled like on a boat. Where did they get off their boat? Can we say the ocean blew something for me and you? What? Where did they get off their boat at? Can we sail the ocean blue? Something for me and you. What?

Where did they land? Was it in America? I'm like Tampa, Florida. I hate looking stupid. I think we're going to have to cut this whole segment. Don't think city. Don't think like anything like that.

There's just like a name. Is that a good? North Pole. Historical. Oh, you sailed north. Plymouth Rock. No one was in the same place. That's made up.

Pilgrims, y'all hear this? I really don't like this segment. You can tell me that mountain right there is Plymouth Rock and I'd be like, cool. It's in Massachusetts. And that's what I've always said. Oh, you're so validating to the Massachusettsians. Pages for Massachusetts.

How many US presidents have there been? At least it was Plymouth Rock sorry I'm sorry you like tell me it's a music genre you're like yeah there's

punk rock Plymouth Rock that's what MDK is oh my god wait my favorite headliner Coachella

is a part of that genre okay go ahead go ahead what's next how many US presidents have there been my guess was 53 I said 52 53 wanna guess again no run. Okay, go ahead. How many US presidents have there been? My guess was 53.

I said 52. 53? Want to guess again? No. Is it right there? They're like 54? No, guess lower. 51. Under 50. Under 49. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. See, no, no, no. And I've always said this Mandela effect. I've been alive. She's like,

I fucked George Washington. Obama was our 50th president no the louisiana purchase was a deal between the united states and which country louisiana i'm just kidding uh wait the louisiana france yes i was just there i know you were guessing i was just guessing because i didn't know if france was a country a second ago right right that's fair i still don't actually wait i just feel like france is so giving and taking like they were like oh my god we gave you a statue can we have louisiana france is so verse what kind of taxes collected on the money people earn income tax thank you i was like come on come

on let's be real don't you feel like that's saying like wet water like income tax like it's like the same thing yes but it makes it like that it's like dumbed down that much so it's like if you okay but i thought about it okay latitude versus longitude okay yeah just latitude versus longitude like what which one is which latitude longitude swear to god yeah i'm just not even gonna get into how little i know about that because it's just sad. That's not true. Latitude's horizontal. How do you know? You don't know where's north. Ladder. But how do you know

that I wasn't pointing north? I didn't invent them, babe. But how do you know that this wasn't? No, but this is the equator to me. Wait, what's the equator to you? The equator goes this way. It's at zero degrees. I know, but I'm saying north goes this way it's at zero degrees i know but i'm saying north is this the bitch is like what's with the rubik's cube i was like talking to him

you know do you think latitude and longitude are just for like people who want it like people want to sound smart next okay give me a month like a private jet you're like what's the longitude there three branches of government judicial uh legislate uh executive tall grande venti executive judicial legislative it's like what is the name of the most famous pyramids why do i want to say giza yep second second option was gyoza you guys should really look at joe rogan talks a lot about the pyramids but it's actually so interesting like if you think about like timing and stuff you do you know that that's the type of shit i would say to a guy to get him to fuck me yeah you know that cleopatra was closer or she hurt like in age she was closer

to the invention of the iphone than she was the building of the pyramids wow one bad bitch made a pyramid and put cleopatra in there yeah that's what it feels like to me i don't i don't know anything about our cleopatra justice for cleo in which town was jesus born bethlehem yes and i've always said that i love god i just love god i'm a god girl i got in trouble on our hot ones video because i said I didn't believe in God. I do. You got in trouble for that? I believe in God. Well, they were like, I respect Tana so much more.

Brooke, not so much. I was like, I just really give at the off chance that there is a God. I need to be like on his team. Listen, I'm on his team too. I still talk to him. I just don't know. I just don't know for sure. Last question. Honestly, I wouldn't know this one either. How do you know? We don't know it just don't know for sure last question honestly I wouldn't know this one either how do you know we don't know it

don't say either I just have an inkling little miss fucking latitude longitude over there I had it right you just weren't calibrated right okay compass rose um what city was the first capital of the United States

Philadelphia I'm just kidding what city was the first capital of the United States? Philadelphia I'm just kidding why is he so offended by that? that was right shut the fuck up you know what we need for cancel you know what we need when I say cancel 2.0 I mean the only thing

that's going to change is I'm ordering confetti cannons imagine right now confetti came from the ceiling there's no way Philadelphia was right I'm ordering so ordering confetti cannons imagine right now confetti came from the ceiling i'm ordering so much confetti i knew it i knew it because i'm fucking brilliant wait i'm really confused she learned that in dc when she was hopping around latitude longitude on the dick i was latitude longituding all over that okay let's compass hosing if anything guys thank you so much for tuning in to the first episode of season two of cancelled we hope you learned something about history and something about how not to act i think

we should make that a segment on every episode so that we can learn i'm kind of loving it we can be really smart by the end of it it will be and i i want to educate some people you know what i mean yeah louisiana purchase and. Thank you guys for tuning in. Let us know in the comments below. If you do one fucking thing, a guest that you want us to have on the next season of canceled, the more canceled, the better,

the more ingenuitive, the better. Like I want some fucked up sexier, the better, honestly, 110%. Like I know y'all want Trisha Paytas. I know y'all want Ethan Klein. I know y'all want Jeff. I knowas i know y'all want ethan klein i know y'all want jeff i know i know the people you want but get get spunky with the request because we're really

trying like i'm trying to have the second president on john adams thank you guys so much we'll talk to you soon stay canceled