Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 30: Tana Has BEEF With Jojo Siwa EP 30

Episode Date: April 14, 2023

Tana and Brooke express their fears and nightmares. The two share their opinions on people who use their clout or fame to their own benefit in certain situations. Tana shares a story of a person falsely claiming she acted stuck up at a theme park. Brooke chimes in with a story of a troll on TikTok who has made multiple viral videos with bad takes, including one about Alabama Barker. They speak about relationships and dates they’ve been on and end off with. The two try to imagine what normal jobs TikTokers would have if TikTok were to be shut down by the government. Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Follow Tana on IG: @tanamongeau Follow Brooke on IG: @brookeschofield Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge then mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario cancelled don't remember doing this at all i can only hold myself accountable cancelled look how good my life is so what else cancel me tanimogia is canceled you want to try it you want to try bringing hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast this is episode two wow i'm never doing that again honestly you fucking slayed hi brookie hi there's something about episode two where there's just like so much less pressure Like we can actually just shoot the shit

You know what's crazy about that is I think the exact opposite I feel more pressure this time I think because we exhausted our best topics No not at all I'm ready today Okay you're right it's a little bit You know what you're so right you've never been wrong Thank you so much I had a nightmare last night

Was it a nightmare? Depends on who you're asking it was like really nightmarish like i woke up and was like what the fuck you know what i mean okay tell us about it we fired oscar may he rest in peace in my nightmare well i didn't fire oscar like just oscar got fired in my nightmare and you and you were dead set on hiring these awful people to like do the podcast for us. And we were trying to shoot this episode and it like wasn't working. And we, but we'd shoot the whole episode and it like doesn't like, it doesn't work or whatever, but I'm like trying my hardest.

And afterwards you were like, I'm not doing this podcast anymore. I'm not doing any of this. I'm not like, I'm not reshooting it, whatever. And in my my dream look i assaulted you like i charged at you i was on top of you like pinning you on the ground like i don't know what okay and we got really physical about it and then um was it like fun play fighting or like where's no people getting hurt that this is why like i really think it was a nightmare because i was like so i would never be this upset in real life like in my dream

i was like so upset i was like screaming screaming that had to be bad because i've been mad at you but i've never really wanted to hit you really i mean okay do you in your dreams do like like i don't ever have dreams that don't involve people who have traumatized me so maybe you've traumatized me i don't know how to explain this like like i have side characters like oscar was a side character but like you have like mate like there's always a main yeah like it'll be like my parents or it'll be like jordan marona or like chris miles or like jake paul wait that's that's relatable i've told you about my reoccurring nightmare haven't i what's your reoccurring so i have two reoccurring nightmares and they both kind of go hand in hand the first one is that i randomly remember almost completely through the semester

i'm not even in school that i have not been attending one of my classes and like it's too late to like unenroll and like i just am gonna fail the class because i haven't been doing the work because i forgot to go that's one of my my nightmares. Kind of boring. Second one is that I'm late to Disneyland. OK. And it's like it's 6 p.m. And I bought Disneyland tickets and Disneyland tickets are extremely expensive. And so you have that sense of urgency. Like I have to get the most out of my ticket.

And I'm late at the expense or it's your fault, basically. And this is a recurring nightmare that you're late to Disneyland and it's my fault All the time sometimes There will be a little variation And it'll be like Coachella Or something and we get to Coachella at like 10pm But almost always it's Disneyland because Disneyland's like So expensive and you want to spend the day

And then what am I doing and you make me so late Like why because you're well first Of all you don't wake up until 3pm Well this now became real I think that's the scariest type of nightmare is one with like that's based in reality that's true but it's crazy that that's a dream i have all the time and i'll wake up so furious at you now it's a little better because it's like you know i can i can afford a disneyland ticket but like they're expensive and you've made me late at least a hundred times you know what's funny is i know

somehow that would like transcend into real life like if you and i ever went to disneyland even if i was completely on time you would be like tana made it like like you were like couldn't do it but it's like it's almost like i carry that that anger with me in our regular life so 100 so like getting upset with you today for being late it's really because like how many times have you made me late for disneyland 110 i completely get it i'm really sorry okay you owe me a disneyland trip so yeah i don't make the rules i don't think i can go with you though like now i think i just i know i can't go with you that's your uh i feel like you'll you like you can't go there i think i historically would be the absolute worst person to attend disneyland with of all time yeah like i just think there's so many factors where i just wouldn't be i hate roller coasters i don't understand the hype i

don't understand the fun at all it's so much fun like but i don't like that what about like disneyland doesn't really have like roller coasters like that like hasbulla just went on first of all let's talk like that because he went on he went on the rides because you can go like disneyland especially like california adventure they have a little bit like more crazy rides but disneyland just has like really low i just don't i my bones i don't know how to explain this but like i don't think i have normal people bones like a roller coaster hurts my bones so bad have you looked into it no do you remember that dog that would have no bones days and then he died yeah i'm sorry i have a bunch of random topics i think that it's just gonna be like a random order today okay i love it do you have any topics no but first i need you to tell me who won our physical

altercation in your dream it what it wasn't like a like a fight where someone won i think i really just attacked i probably won like i think in real life you would have like fought back but in my dream i was just like no i would have i life you would have, like, fought back. But in my dream, I was just like, no. I would have. I honestly probably would have just. So that I could be like, Tana beat me up. Is that your, like, life's dream? Yeah.

To just get beat up and, like, be able to really ride that out? For sure. I would never beat you up. I don't think I could. I think you could fight. I think I'm scrappy. While we're talking about theme parks, I have another topic. I was watching this video the other day on TikTok and I was laying in bed and someone

else was there and we were watching the video. Who was there? I'll get into that actually in a little bit because I have I have things to say. But it was this guy was arguing with a cop, right? And he was filming himself and he's arguing with the cop and the cop is like wrong. Like, that's why this video went viral. But then the guy just starts yelling at the cop. I have 300,000 followers. I have 300,000 followers i have 300 000 followers they're gonna they're gonna love this

blah blah blah and the video like irked me so fucking much because i hate when people talk like that it's like one of my life's biggest pet peeves when anyone's like yeah it's like using your like clout to get your reservation or something it gives me the ick and just like just the way people say it or like do you know who I am Or like any of that It's always been One of my biggest Life's like pet peeves I don't

I genuinely don't believe That people even do that Because I've never Witnessed it in life I witness it Like kind of frequently But I feel like People talk to me weird

Like people will come up To me like new TikTokers And like be telling me Well they probably feel Like they have something To prove to you No one's trying to Prove shit to me

But like I just I hate it more than anything Like for me it determines If I like a person or not like very much immediately it's like one of my biggest pet peeves and so we got into this conversation and i was like telling this guy how to this day like people make videos about me i guess a lot like interactions with me or like people's like opinions of me and shit but like it happens to me kind of frequently where like i go into a store and someone makes a video like tana Mongeau came in and this is what she Did you know what I mean and normally

I just don't really pay them any mind if they're sweet I comment like whatever but to this day This person made this video Saying that I went to Universal Studios Theme park see where it tied in I did it With and I was With Diablo and everyone was riding like Roller coasters and like I don't ride roller coasters

So I was just like chilling walking around with Diablo And this person said in the video That like I walked up to them and I said like I'm Tana Mongeau do you know who I am like you know who I fucking am Like blah blah blah and then I was like a stuck up bitch And like all this shit and like For some reason I think about that video

Like at least once a month because It upset me so much because she made It up right yes like they just entirely made it up that i said i would it's like that's like the scariest thing is like someone can make up any interaction they've had with you literally ever and like no one's gonna believe you when you say it's not true that's like i kind of feel like that happens to a lot of like really big celebrities too yeah like hayley bieber and shit yeah like she was mean to me at a restaurant which is like how would you ever validate that or like but like they never bother me but for some reason I can like see this

video and paint it it made me so mad because I would just never probably ate that up she was probably like oh this is gonna get the views and then I remember I commented and they were like going back and forth and it was like this whole thing and it still bothers me and I guess I was just like wondering if you have like something someone has made about you or said about you that like to this day bothers you I don't know i people don't really make bad people just don't make videos about me honestly but um it's not true i had no i had that girl the girl and i hate to give her any sort of recognition actually you know what i'd love to give her this recognition because she said to me or she made a video recently and she goes literally word for word if anyone gave a fuck about your opinion you would still be on tana mojo's podcast

and to her i say what am i doing right now okay i'm on tana mojo's podcast and you can suck my dick for real this all started because this random girl posted a video coming at Alabama Barker. Oh, yes. And you know what? I love that you were the superhero about it. Because she's, I mean, she's known. She's just such a troll on TikTok. And that's why I don't like to give her the attention. Because, like, she obviously does it because she gets a rise out of everybody. Is she known? Like, does she have followers?

Well, she just has had so many of these, like, viral horrible takes where everybody stitches her and like comes at her kind of thing okay but she eats it up it's like her that's her angle that's her thing and so one of her like stupid fucking dumb takes was that like alabama barker is like hyper sexualized and she's trying so hard to like she was just basically like coming at alabama barker and saying like uh if you're gonna act grown i'm gonna treat you like you're grown that's illegal i'm like why are you treating her like anything that's not your kid like why do you have anything to say about a 17 year old girl like you are you're you are grown yeah like it's it's fucking weird and she'll like she's the same girl who made that video about alex earl and she's like she's glorifying symptoms of depression because alex earl has a messy room i'm like girl if you

don't go the fuck outside sorry touch grass no i'm being mean but i love touch grass it's like some grass well you know what her name is gracie gracie shout out do you know i actually have a bone to pick with gracie as well what'd she do because so you commented on this video and you were like da da da alabama bark or whatever and then she made a video about you and then she was like coming at you and whatever and the video kind of got traction so then she comes online and she's like while I'm making this video about Brooke like now I hate Tana too because like they're like blah blah blah all this shit and I'm fucking you know me I'm so fine with that I actually like I love when people

hate me like not when I do something wrong and I deserve it but I love a good like someone just fucking hates me like it's so fun to me. I think it gives me content. It gives me it gives me life. I've really always been this way. I don't know what it is. And so I'm watching her like hate series on me. Right.

And she makes a video and she's, you know, fuck Tana. I hate Tana. I don't know what she said. And then she's like, and while we're at it. And this was when I had my like last secret boyfriend. Right. Oh, yeah. I had very much made a point like, you know'm dating This guy he doesn't like I said he

Doesn't have social media and by that I Mean he has a private Instagram with Fucking 700 followers like that are his Family and it's on private he never Posts on it and he never uses it and Like I literally taught him how to post On his story like when we started like You know what I mean like you might as

Well say someone who has never posted Instagram story one time like doesn't Use it yeah that's what I Meant because it's like the way that we Use social media he does not yeah at all And so I say this and I've said online You know like I he I'm trying to kind of Protect his identity and obviously you

Can say that to take that with a grain Of salt because I was also posting Photos of us but without his face and Not tagging him obviously so like Whatever you chose what was out there Okay and it was just like a cute you Know if I really wanted to hide his Identity I guess even posting though

Someone could say that that's like Playing with fire and I understand that No but um whatever blah blah blah she Comes online and she makes Gracie makes This three minute tick-tock it could Have not the three minutes in 60 seconds I really I made that up but it just Sounded so good good Okay Where she like

Went online And like Found like My guy friends in Vegas And that they all Like mutually followed This one guy Found my boyfriend's Instagram

But it was private And then like Looked him up online And found that every other person Like with his name Was like in their 40s But there was one that wasn't And then found his address

And his phone number And fully fucking doxxed him Within the first like Month of us dating And she Gracie But her whole reason for this Was just like

Brooke pissed me off And I was like Wait So honestly I'm sorry to your ex Sorry for that I remember calling Like my ex

And being like Yo like Like imagine that feeling Where you're just like Fuck like it must suck Especially cause it's like He wasn't really Like he didn't want To be in the scene like that So it where you're just like fuck like it Must especially because it's like he wasn't really Like he didn't want to be in the scene like that so it kind Of sucks that it's like out of his control but

Like dude she does like It that I hate again they give that Give it the attention because these type of people Just feed off of that Exactly that they want to get a rise out of people But I kind of but she got it I kind of Think it's fun like I kind of I Kind of hope she sees this and I kind of hope she gets Mad and I kind of hope she does it again and I think She got the biggest fries Like I kind of I kind of hope she sees this And I kind of hope she gets mad

And I kind of hope She does it again And I kind of hope It becomes a running bit The thing is like I always usually base Like which side I'm on Based on like who

People I admire Support in a situation Like for example She has like Major beef with Teffy Hates Teffy Like publicly declares That she hates Teffy

And I like Who could hate Teffy Why? Exactly I idolize Teffy So I'm like I hate you Gracie Why does she hate Teffy like publicly declares that she hates teffy and i like who could hate exactly i idolize teffy so i'm like i hate you gracie why does she hate teffy who knows teffy probably like did something not wrong the way we did i just all i did was defend a sweet 17 year old girl who had nothing to do like she didn't do anything wrong she dogs my man no alabama the title of this podcast Alabama Barker

honestly I've never even met Alabama Barker I've like no reason why I felt like loyalty to her but all I did was comment I commented something and then Gracie made the video and she's like these d-list celebrities keep coming at me I'm like wait did you just call me a celebrity yeah it's kind of a slay I've never understood that thank you like whenever someone says that to me like dear like at least I know like wait So what like What literal In the alphabet

Does that make you Gracie I'm just wondering I've been using this guy My like I've been using this guy I know there's more to it I swear But my fuck buddy

Was the person That I had this whole TikTok conversation with And whatever Yes And we've just been having So many conversations That are amazing podcast topics

And it's gotten to the point Where I'll be talking to him and he'll just see me open my notes up and like start writing down what he's saying. And he's like, like, are you just using me as like a podcast topic? Like what? And I'm like, kind of like stop slaying then, you know? Yeah. Say less.

I was telling him about a relationship I was in a while ago or he was asking me to be fair. I would never like post up. I would never post up. Oh, that's my favorite move. Really? Oh, yeah. I just did it tonight. I'll tell you after. Wait. No. Well, after you talk. Oh, that's my favorite move. Really? Oh, yeah. I just did it tonight. I'll tell you after.

No, well, after you talk. Oh, okay, cool. So he was asking me why me and this guy broke up. Like a different guy. Like why we went through a breakup. I'd never like said all of this out loud. And after saying it out loud, I was like, this is so weird that I feel like I'm doing an injustice to the canceled people if I don't talk about it

okay and I want to I want to hear your opinion on this okay you know I love giving opinions okay perfect relationship perfect guy okay don't tell me who it is because I'm gonna guess I think you'll get it pretty soon this was not a red flag at the time but on our very very first date our first date was amazing okay like we had a great first date and eventually we start kissing whatever and afterwards he was like can i tell you why i'm so drawn to you like why i think i like you so much and i was like yeah and he was like you remind me so much of my mom oh no and at the time my rose-colored glasses ass was like that's so sweet men marry women who remind them of their mom blah blah blah blah blah let me know your thoughts on that so far before i keep

going okay well i know maybe this is like a sexist situation but i know it's like very common for you to like look for qualities of your father if you have a good relationship usually with your father which i do like you start you look for those qualities in like a partner like my dad's really funny so i feel like that's like i always have gravitated towards people who are funny i don't know that's just like supposed to be a fact and that's where my head was at in the beginning right i was like okay this maybe this is healthy maybe this is what healthy people do i don't know you know what i mean like I took it as like sweet right and then I started bringing him around my friends right and I noticed that he would just be like showing my friends his mom

like type shit and like gassing his mom all the time and it got to this whole bit too where Ty would be like your boyfriend wants his mom like not you like i've met some people like that and it gives me the creeps for sure and then did he have a hot mom yes that's tough and like and we look alike like a lot of like like she's like blonde and like like we look alike like you know what i mean really like i can't think of who this is and then over time you could tell that she like hated me so much like not because of anything i've done because it was too new for that. Like off rip, I could just tell you're the type of mom who like hates anyone your son dates because it's like that is the number one.

I'm sorry to cut you off. Number one, like most biggest ick like I could imagine in a person is when their mom is like super critical about everybody like that gives me like and i understand like niceness of it like i understand you want your son to be with a good person you need to evaluate them but you can tell when it's like oh you've hated every single person he's ever dated because it like takes because you want that you want the attention from your little boy yeah like and it's it's giving that but then it kept progressing and keep in mind he's like grown and like like lives his own life you know what i mean but i'd be like oh my god can like

can you come on this trip and he'd be like i have to ask my mom and i'd be like what do you mean you have to ask your mom well now i know and then it. And then it got to the point where it'd be like, you have to ask my mom. You know what I mean? And then she'd be like, Bitch, no. And then he'd be like, she'd be texting him like,

tell her to give me a call if she wants you there that bad. Like weird shit like that, you know? Like scheduling a call with the mom. What the fuck? And I remember one time i was mad at him and i was like over something not mad like you know what i mean like he like went out with his friends and like forgot to text me or something and i was just kind of being like you know how i am like just jokingly like like joking like what'd you do last night cheater like did it like joking

around and i was like am i crazy like i asked him i was like do you think i'm crazy when i'm joking around like that you know what i mean like do you think I'm crazy when I'm joking around like that? You know what I mean? Like, do you think I'm like silly and fun? Or do you think like, oh, this girl's crazy because I'm kidding, you know? Like, I just want to know your take on that. And he like thinks about it for a second or whatever. And then he's like, my mom's crazy.

And then just goes on this whole tangent about how his mom is crazy, but he loves it. And like this whole thing. And I was like, I asked you if I was crazy. I don't know. I don't know if I would think that he's in love with his mom but like whether he is or not just the concept of being that dependent on your mother as an adult man is like a major red flag to the point because it's like at a certain age you're locked in you know what i mean like yeah it's not like you're gonna over the years grow apart or whatever if you're already an independent adult and you're still dependent on your mother you will be that way

until the day you die and it's like i just started noticing everything like around his house like he'd have shit like candles that would be like this is not this is real like candles that are like the love from your mother is like never replaceable like blah blah blah like all that gives me the ick so bad and that's so horrible because you want you want somebody who has a good relationship with their family take it from me yeah at a certain point it does get to be a little bit too much like i have an amazing like family and stuff but they would never involve themselves in my relationship or like overstep where they shouldn't like nobody's calling or expecting a call from my boyfriend yeah and if a guy ever told me like ask my mom i'd be like i'm like i hadn't met her and like over holidays like he'd go get me a gift

and then she'd get me like gifts but it just everything just felt so condescending if that makes sense it didn't feel like in genuine like you just felt like she had it out for you or what like in any time he'd be like with her on face like i'd be with him and he'd facetime her or like or i wouldn't be with him like you were competing with his mom like let's say i wasn't with him and i facetimed him and he was with his mom and i'd be like hi oh my god how are you beautiful like trying to be nice because clearly this woman wants me dead she'd be like hi like super like that you know what i mean like and i'd just be like have you ever had like a friend who's like that like i've had a lot of friends who like their parents are so involved in their lives that

you're like, oh, or like somebody who's mean to you, a friend's mom who's mean to you. That is awful. A friend's mom who's mean to you. I think that would be that's why I like I ask is because I would have a hard time in a relationship because I know for sure, because even when someone's like someone else's mom said something mean to me, I carry it with me literally genuinely for the rest of my entire life. Even if it happened in the first,

like fucking first grade. I really like, and this, I'm going to sound insane saying this, but I take so much pride in people's parents liking me. I think it's, can I tell you what it is? Or what I think it is?

I already found this out, but yes. I had my grandparents obviously, but like I didn't have like a relationship with my parents at all growing up. So I i would i was always so excited by having relationships with other people's parents and i always was so confident in like my ability and making like to make them like me and like i loved that i loved having relationship with my friend's parents so if someone didn't like me killed me 100 like i think growing up like having parents who just

like fucking hated me like I loved other people's parents who were like normal and dope so I would like go especially my friends were like rude to their parents I would go out of my way to like you know what I mean like be extra nice to the parents or like yell at my friend if they're being like a fucking asshole yeah like their parent or whatever and every person I've ever dated like every single one to this day I am close with their parents yeah and even just like my friends like even influencer friends like you know what i mean like huddies yeah you always go out of your way for the parents i feel like i'm that way too just because i think

it is because both of us didn't have a very good never ever like literally my ex's mothers all of them text me like to this day all the fucking time i've never had a parent not obsessed with me so like i don't mean to be like i know the problem isn't me but like no but i don't think so either because like i have seen you like how you interact and stuff with like like amari's family i mean obviously that's like your family so that's different but like i see how you are and how you not not perform but like how much how you're like the most outstanding version of yourself like in front of a parent and it just like irks me to this Day like now thinking about this whole like And I've always said that I would never

Be with someone with like a smother mother And I somehow like fell into it and it Scared the shit out of me those are the most dangerous men In the world is men who are too Attached but this was unlike anything I've really ever seen well I'm really honestly Really happy you guys broke up no offense I Tana Mongeau fell victim

To a smother mother i hope i never thought i would i hope to god for his sake that someday he finds somebody that is worthy of his love in his mother's eyes because otherwise that girl is going to be a victim for the rest of her life for sure it's so awful it's so sad and it's so important like i don't know if i could marry a guy who like whose mom i didn't get along with her whose family didn't get along with yeah like i was literally i remember just like i was like imagining holidays for like the rest of my life it was like that sounds so scary and awful yeah i have a thing where i it's actually really important to me like the family i marry into because i know i i don't have anything to

bring to the table like yeah who's gonna come to my wedding no one like for sure i want to marry so badly into a big family or like a functional family yeah do you ever hate that when you date someone and you like love their family so fucking much and then you break up with them but the family was it the family was like no yeah i don't let me look at other conversations that i had with this man you're talking about this man um who you're having these really good conversations with um you're having very good sex with this man and you're having good conversations good conversations with. You're having very good sex with this man and you're having good conversations.

So I'm just wondering what's going on there. Can I tell you something we did the other night? What? That is so abnormal to do with someone that you have called your fuck buddy, Tana. Like I need to get off my chest and you're going to be like, Tana, what the fuck? What would you do?

And I have this fucking issue. I have such a fucking, this is how every person i date i end up dating them i like fuck them and they're my fuck buddy and i'm like you're my fuck buddy and i love this and you're gonna come over at midnight and we're gonna fucking fuck and we're gonna watch netflix and you're gonna leave and it's gonna be fun i'm sorry sorry no my friend's amish over there so i'm just like fuck and then every time like it just ends up i know what it is but not like we end up just starting playing house too much that it's like we're now just playing house all the time and now we're dating obviously i have exceptions to the rule where there are people where like we

went on dates and we started dating but i'm saying a lot of times that's like what's happened do you know what i mean and i was so excited about this like, I'm single and like I have a fuck buddy. And like, you know what I mean? That's all it is, whatever. And I'm already doing the thing. I'm already doing the thing. Well, you do it every time. And I don't know how to stop doing the thing because it's like, want to hang out?

Yeah. Well, you want to know what it is in my eyes or what I see, like what differentiates like my I don't have any fuck buddies I don't know I'm pretending I do but like you always integrate them into like the friend activities and like we'll all be doing a group activity and you're like oh he can come you know because it's just casual and stuff but then they're spending time around the friends and they're getting to know everybody and you see their personality and then it starts feeling like you're already dating so then you start doing normal dating people things and then all of a sudden you're dating the man The problem is you can't draw a line

In the sand and actually like leave him Where he is in the bed You know what I mean like leave him there It's like stop inviting Him out stop having him I've invited him everywhere for the past two weeks But I like to be around him Not just him it's every

Fuck buddy you've ever had he's all of a sudden we all start liking him and we're like wait are they together and then you just are i know i have a serious serious fucking issue but so and i don't know how to fix it i really don't know how to fix it he's coming over after this can't wait um but um the other night we were laying in bed and we came across this thing online that like i don't even know how we came across it but it was like this psychological study that like that this psychological studying place made people i would drop out made people do where they'd be strangers and or like new relationships or people who've been together For so long

They would sit them down And they would ask them A series of 40 questions Okay And the people would answer The 40 questions Back and forth to each other And the psychological study showed

That it would make these people Like feel the feeling Of what it would take Of like a year of falling in love In the time of that study Send it to me now like oh no it's i'm sending it to all my well boyfriends it's an insane like love bomb thing if you really want to do it do you know what i mean but the other night he came over and i'm like so fucking excited like

i'm wearing red lingerie under my shit you know like i'm excited for a fucking not a fuck buddy activity that's a boyfriend activity and then here i am with my crew neck on over my fucking like red slutty lingerie and i'm so excited whatever we lay in bed for five hours and just ask each other these questions back and forth we both cried at one point like whole fucking thing like you know what i mean like your deepest darkest like things whatever and we didn't even have sex we just fell asleep see that's when you know it's bad if he's sleeping next to you and he's not doing anything you have to end it all that happened again it's happened like a couple times i'm honestly jealous of that problem that you have though honest to god because pretty much every guy that i've ever just slept because i've i've never slept with somebody i didn't want to date really i mean like it may be like a one-off

situation but like if i'm actively sleeping with you I probably want to date you I just like fall into it well maybe you god you have a power I don't have like that's my goal every time and it's it's I've never been successful but I'm wait I don't I'm like maybe I have the problem I don't I don't know what's going on here and I don't know if well yeah no he's too young for you he's only 22 22 is too young for a 24 year old woman because a 24 year old woman is at least like four years advanced but he's so smart he's pretty smart i did get to talking to him the other night and it was my first time i heard him speak i found out that he has a twin brother but now that i know they're 22 that doesn't really work i think you should do it Imagine for the plot

We were dating twins For the plot it would be good But I'm not interested in dating Another 22 year old I have learned my lesson Well I'm not at all 28 and above Unless of course you're Mr. DC

Which will be my boyfriend eventually Is he 22? He's 27 Oh that's a say In my head I'm not a serial dater Okay well And I know that I am Love the denial

Yeah like But it's like You know what I mean I know I am But like in my head I'm not Like in my head I I'm not a serial dater. Okay. And I know that I am. Love the denial. Yeah. Like, but it's like, you know what I mean? I know I am. But like in my head, I'm not like in my head. I'm so free and single. And I think it's because when I date people. Well, yeah, you just really fall into it every time. It's just so accidental.

But I just really like I really was looking forward to this time period being single. And can I tell you? I don't know what's going to happen. I keep saying, can I tell you your problem? I don't know what. I don't know what. Like, I feel like I'm in an episode of like this feels therapeutic in the entire time i've known you i think i've seen you sleep alone like four times i sleep alone now okay you are you are

definitely better about it now but i remember a time period where it was like you wouldn't you would not sleep alone i was codependent as fuck i think for a long time yeah but if it's like if it's not someone you're codependent on It's just someone else Now it's like I can and do sleep alone But it's like I still suck at it Especially because it's not like a bunch of different people It's like when there's one person who like you like sleeping with more

Than you like sleeping alone Yeah I get it listen I don't like sleeping alone I just I don't have like the option I'm a whore I start crying You're not a whore you're just so loving You have like the option I'm a whore I start crying I'm like holding you're not a whore you're just so loving you have so much love I've always said that seriously okay this was my final conversation with this man that I was just randomly talking about that I I like came to the most crazy

conclusion okay okay but this has nothing to do with anything and I'm hoping you have things to say because if you don't have things to say then it's like not fun me like you know what i mean okay like you would have to add to this otherwise we're cutting it okay no pressure all like guys with certain names are like the same exactly exactly right but girls aren't like that like you can meet a million different britneys and they're all different people true but like every guy whose name starts with br like brad bryce brody brody grew up with like middle class money like they wore vineyard vines at some point they were so funny i have i have a boat shoe brody like do you know what i mean and they're all like that i know this to be true because i've always always always gravitated towards c names and j names always everybody's been a j name or a c name

always what do you have to say about the C names liars like All C names are liars compulsive C for C is for compulsive liar Oh no that's what it is Oh no and J is for just Not fucking interested In you at all well so J names for Me are always

Narcissist I'm gonna go to hell for this One but um J names are like Their parents love them way are like Their parents loved them Way too much Their parents told them They were superstars Like Maybe a little

Narcissistic tendencies They walk past the mirror They pose in the mirror Like whole nine You know what I mean Uh huh All J names I've had a lot of J names

I don't know if they've Really been narcissists They've just like Not been in love with me Which is definitely A major flaw Like every Oscar I've ever met is like a smart guy like i love oscars loves a little like techie moment like i've never met another

oscar in life like all guys named alexander are the same hot and sweet i would say c names are all like c is for codependent yeah yeah c is for codependent compulsive liar oh my god i just felt so cool realizing that i don't even know so we have to talk about this because everyone's talking about it and you know we do this kind of for a living and whatever tiktok is going to be banned if they ban it i'm not kidding i'm gonna fucking can i say that i'm gonna kill myself absolutely same 100 but it's so i don't understand i don't have anything to hide take my data like i don't care i couldn't agree more honestly like it's i agree with that fully have you been seeing the videos of the courtroom no like of the right now god this is gonna be like dumb girl tries to explain. But like right now, TikTok CEO man's in the courtroom

and he's fighting with American against TikTok man. And they're like, no, TikTok's good. And then other guys like, no, it's bad. And they're in a courtroom. There's videos of it everywhere. Keep pulling up, please. All I've been seeing is Gwyneth Paltrow and her fucking. We need to talk about that too.

Why is Gwyneth Paltrow in court? She like ran over someone on skis. No, she didn't Gwyneth Paltrow ran over someone on skis and that's why she's in court it's up in the air really it was a hit and run with a car you mean hit and ski at a ski resort that's the funniest thing I've ever heard I hope something like that happens to me at some point the reason why I wanted to bring up the courtroom video actually has nothing to do with any of it. Why are you kind of fine? Can you say with 100% certainty that TikTok does not use the phone's camera to determine whether the content

that elicits a pupil dilation should be amplified by the algorithm? Can you tell me that? We do not collect body, face, or voice data to identify our users. I want to fuck Mr. Xiao, too. So do I. He's my type, for real. No. The only face data that you get, that we collect, is when

you use the filters to have, say, sunglasses on your face, we need to know where your eyes are. Why do you need to know where the eyes are if you're not seeing if they're dilated? I hate the other man so much. Stupid idiot. Again, we do not collect body, or if you're not seeing if they're dilated. And that data is stored on your local device and deleted after use if you use it for facial. Again, we do not collect body, face, or voice data to identify our users. Like, I want to fucking, I want to fight with that man.

I want him to tell me how stupid and dumb I am. How do you determine what age they are then? We rely on age gating as our key age assurance. Age gating, which is when you ask the user what age they are. I believe him and I stand beside him no matter what he says and i hate this whoever that guy is for some reason i have a serious crush on mr shouchu i don't know if it's because he's fighting for like he's fighting for what we believe in but here's the thing i maybe i'm uneducated because i really like no matter what i cannot wrap my head around unless of course you work for like the government or like you have anything any sort of confidential anything on your phone

like why would it ever matter if they like you know what i feel sorry for anyone who would see my shit you know what i mean like you're just like i don't i'm like honestly leak it no but imagine like when you're on tiktok taking like a bad shit and they're just hearing it. Like, it's not good. No, but they don't care about you. They're checking on like the kids who have TikTok whose parents like are in the Senate. Okay. I think that's who we should be concerned about.

And those people should suffer. Well, so with this being said, all this being said, I've created a fun game for us today. Okay. If TikTok were to be banned I want to say an influencer right now And we say what their job would be If they had never been on TikTok This is gonna get us cancelled

And I'm so excited Okay I only have like 10 okay Maybe we both think of it And then we both say it Not like at the same time But like I don't I need time

Okay Go I'm gonna start with Bryce Hall and I already have mine what do you think I think Bryce Hall would be a carpenter oh I was gonna say works at David Buster's how old is he because he obviously he would grow like like 24 probably okay well he doesn't work there anymore but he definitely did okay you know I don't think he should be a carpenter he's strong maybe he oh he's a maybe he oh he's a personal Trainer yeah he's a personal trainer and

He dms girls and he's like uh i'll Train you for free if you I think he still does that to this day I'll do it i agree i agree i agree okay Um josh richards he's a really smart guy Weirdly successful in my head too like I think if TikTok never happened Josh Richards would still one day be like the hot he would still do something for sure that was like reliant on his looks I think it's just giving like

or maybe he works in sales like he's a salesman maybe a real estate agent and he's good at it but like how successful he is isn't because of how good at it he is he's like successful because he's gorgeous yeah like and he's good at what he does but like him being like you know what i mean i could see him on like selling sunset you know what i mean exactly like oppenheim group vibes for sure dixie d'amelio supermodel i literally think she's the most gorgeous person in the world i do too actually you're in love with dixie you've a little i am i literally am in love with dixie d'amelio spread the word what would i see i weirdly see dixie d'amelio being like a high school principal that's disrespectful but she's hot it has nothing

to do with her looks i just mean like i could see her being so fucking pissed yeah i could see her laying down the law i could see her like hitting someone with the ruler absolutely and she's like but like she's the type of high school principal where it's like if she likes you like she would have hated me because i was a degenerate awful kid you know what i mean but occasionally we would have like a funny little laugh i could see like i it's giving like bad teacher i feel like she'd be like fuck these kids 100 um addison ray she owns a flower shop why was i gonna say bait shop i feel like she just she needs to just smile all day long and like what better place to smile than at the bakery flower shop i

just feel like she works at a little bait shop in the middle of louisiana bait shop like bait as in like i thought you said like a bakery why would she work at a bait shop it's so funny because addison ray is so normally southern but in my head you think she's that crawfish like in my head i have amplified her southernness to the fucking till the cows come home okay i i see it but like i don't know i don't i don't picture her like baiting a hook like i do oh and it's like endearing and like all the guys love it she's like in the everglades like like is that where wait where's the everglades aren't the everglades cold no no everglades is like where the alligators are no fucking way in my head everglades have always been like glacial everglacial okay let me keep going vinnie hacker

zoomies for me the skate shop yeah somewhere where like you know some of those stores that you walk in there and like the employees are like supposed to be fucking rude to you yeah like that's like what it gives not because he's rude but because i've never heard him talk before and like i that's my ideal situation i would love to walk into a store and not be talked to because that's the number one deterrent that's the number one reason i turn out of a store and leave is if a salesperson is talking to me too much so honestly really do your job vinny i he's killing it at zoom he's literally not saying a word and he's so i don't i don't think vinny hugger smokes in real life i don't know i'm just he's so high in this alternate universe he is like zooted to the fucking gods wherever but it could be anywhere like yeah you ask him where the fitting room is he's like i don't know

yeah exactly that's like that's what i see for vinnie hucker chris olsen the coffee thing is like in my head so i want to make him like a friendly i know i almost made him a barista but i'm like no but i do see him as like a waiter or Something like but he's so good at his job I could see him being like a personal assistant but it's Because I picture him being like Kris Jenner's personal assistant and being like you're so right He would still be in the entertainment industry yeah and he would because he's like that's his Thing he has the ideas like he's the visionary uh-huh he's really smart you know you want to Know something funny that I heard the other dayalie told me this she's probably gonna get mad at me they were looking for talent like a specific

role and the role was like gay man who is gonna have really good ideas for social media and it was for a musician and i was like so they're just trying to like mimic chris olsen and they were like looking to like fill that exact role But for somebody else Like what he does For like Meghan Trainor And everybody Like now that's just Like a specific job

Yeah it really is I can think of so many people Shout out Justin Horowitz Like they exist Yeah like that's They have the same energy To me for sure Larray

Larray's a trapper In my head Larray is pushing Packs of marijuana Really He's like low key The curve Like in his town Like no one's ever seen Like the sassy funny Gay sell drugs And really he's like low-key the the curve like in his town like no one's ever

seen like the sassy funny gay sell drugs and like he's like but like a lot like he has nice so many he's like out of his trunk or like or like do you think he has a better setup than that no i think way better setup like a nice house it's like a whole grow room oh he's a trapper yeah yeah like he only talks out like via snapchat what do you see loray as i think that i don't really like i don't know i don't really know him very well okay noah beck soccer coach it's not funny he's a like really brilliant soccer player is he he's amazing also he's no i can't say him and dixie are hot in the same episode yes you can in my head no Beck has He's he's straight but he has a job That's a little fruity like he's like

Like that like capitalizes on him being Like the like he like Magic Mike live In Vegas absolutely like Rocco's bar and Tavern but he's like a dancer slash Bartender like he's dancing while he's Bartender for sure or just like one of Those like restaurants that requires you To be shirtless yes 100 that's where i see no abercrombie and fitch he stood outside

every black friday like yeah yeah he he's never worked worked the register he literally just stands outside yeah god he's so hot dixie i love you alex earl i'm trying to think of what all like all my like sorority friends and stuff went on to do front desk at a plastic surgeon's office a hundred percent yes that's exactly it but she's the only one in there that's nice like the rest of the people are telling you like you're fat you need lipo but then she's like i love your body yeah and she's like she's uh giving you her employee discount for no reason uh-huh or she works at like sephora or nohora. Or no, no, no, no, no, Victoria's Secret. Yeah, but I feel like I don't see her in retail.

I feel like she's too exciting for that. That's true. That's true. I feel like she needs, like, the spice. Honestly, she could probably, she could do, like, a Christine selling sunset situation. She'd get by on her personality. 100%. I'd buy a house from her just because she looks like that.

I stand with, like, plastic surgeon's office front desk. She comes in so hungover but like doesn't show it to anyone but her coworkers. Or just like the best trophy wife ever. Amelie Zilber. The Pope. President of the United States. Dead ass. Kamala Harris.

Literally. What is Kamala Harris? The Vice President, right? Yes. Right? Bellaport. She's in the military. She was in the military. Oh, she was in the military? Yeah. No way Bellaport. She's in the military. She was in the military.

Oh, she was in the military? Yeah. No way. She was. I'm just imagining her with her like 40 inch ponytails. I don't think they allowed it. I think she had a bun. I think we should make this a series except each time.

Like next time it's not TikTokers. It's like. I wanted to do all of this. Like go into like what would like Logan Paul be doing if he wasn't like. Like do all the. We could make it a series for sure. I think we should. Next we should do YouTubers should do youtubers i agree loved it love that comment down below who you would like us to um assign a new job okay uh i have some pop culture topics

hold please is jojo siwa pregnant can i just be so for real about this i fucking love jojo siwa i think she's just a fun girl she is so fucking funny and like lit and dope as fuck off camera but this i saw this whole pregnancy baiting and obviously all these influencers are on snapchat and they're doing the whole snapchat clickbait thing which i need to get better at seriously like i'm i've just been posting like my foot and i'm making like a dollar and i need to figure that out um but if i did that i would be canceled if i if i took a photo bloated as hell beside a box of pampers diapers and said i'm expecting i would be fucking yeah because isn't it like uh frowned upon since so many people have like trouble getting pregnant and stuff yes and

do you know how many times in my life i was just sitting there needing views and i knew in the back of my head that motherfucker would drive me home that the rent would be paid for a motherfucking year but i knew that if i did that i it wouldn't be good it wouldn't be good for me it wouldn't be good that's so true you do have like a unique situation where a lot of things would get you canceled that probably a lot of other people could get away with like why does jojo siwa get to do that and i don't because she's Jojo Siwa and she's really made a wholesome name for herself. No. Yes, but no.

Why does she get to do that and I don't? I think people definitely didn't like it, I don't think. Really? Hold, hold please. I'm fired up about this one. And I love Jojo Siwa. I really do. I just want to know why I can't do that tomorrow on my Snapchat.

Like if I did exactly that tomorrow. Is it maybe because she's um lesbian so like it's like you know she's not yeah actually because she's not she's not bi right she's a she's full lesbian oh wait I'm actually completely kidding I looked it up on Twitter oh and people are mad people are really mad oh but not that mad not mad enough for you you want the bows are still gonna be come on get them fired up cancel Jojo like the bows are still gonna be for sale at Target Get them fired up, cancel JoJo Like the bows are still gonna be on sale at Target Forever, you know what I mean

Yeah, you're right, no one's pulling those bows Are you kidding, she made what, like a hundred million dollars off those I just, wow, I didn't even Thank you so much for pulling that one up, seriously Harry, I was gonna say Harry Harry Stiles and Emmerata So expected, honestly Still really jealous about it.

I'm not sure who I'm jealous of, but somebody in that situation I'm for sure jealous of. I think probably Emrata because I really love Harry. You know what I'm like starting to feel and sense is that Emrata's position in the celebrity world is going to become like female Pete Davidson. I think that's true too, but It's not exactly the same because She is the most traditionally good looking

Person in this entire world I agree but I'm just like I feel like it's like she's Kind of just like oh I dated everybody I do Think like I'm worried that she's getting like I know She's having fun and I respect it and I idolize Her but I'm worried that she's Going to mess up not mess up her Reputation a bit but I feel like people are

Going to stop praising her in a second like what We do to women is we start all of a sudden shaming them for serial dating like what they did to taylor swift no one shames me because guys shame me for serial dating in the common but you know what i mean like like it used to be like oh my god taylor swift is an icon because she's dating all these people and then at a certain point everybody just turned on her and decided she was just a whore which is not true stan taylor swift for life but i think they're gonna start doing that to emirata which we've never done to pete we would never do to a man because why would we i really like turn eric andre and i want to know why they broke up oh yeah i don't i don't know if i believed that that was real well he posted that photo on valentine's day where she was like in her underwear and he was like naked that's true

but i thought i had a boyfriend on val On Valentine's Day too And I didn't Fuck Hey when that happens I just I want to know what Harry Styles is like I feel like his entire Did you see

There's an interview of him Where he says Like they ask his celebrity crush And he goes Emily Ratajkowski Really Yeah Wait that's actually so awesome

So it is iconic I feel like I'm proud of him What do you think Who's your celebrity crush If you And you have to Whoever you speak out loud you're gonna end up dating in six months so think carefully he's always in my celebrity crush i retired pete davidson you know i no longer have a crush on pete davidson he will forever be my celebrity crush oh my god look

watch october november i don't even know who that is oh Oh, wow. I love this. She's so admirable. I love this. Can we get on her or her on here? This is absolutely everything. What do you think their sex is like? I don't know. I like the way his eyes are just wide open. Like he's not going to miss a second of it.

Like he's just. Who, Eric Andre? Nope. I heard he's like, is that Amrata right there? That's incredible. She is inspirational to me. I hope one of them sticks pretty soon here because I would love to see her in another happy relationship absolutely she's everything to me i fucking love emrata me too i love that every time she dates someone the

meme of her with gibby from my carly resurfaces and then they pull up like they were pulling up gibby with harry style see that's who i get i don't i want to do what emrata is doing and i'm getting gibby's left and right actually i got a pretty good one recently I love a good gibby man that is one thing right now is my whole I'm gonna marry a gibby for sure my whole like uh people I'm talking to are all pretty with the exception of a few are pretty traditionally hot guys and I miss my like it's so different being with like a hot hot guy like you just have to be such a different version of yourself like I love when it's mean and ugly because then I can just be like so fucking awful and i do i do feel like i like adapt my that sounds so bad but i i have i'm so much more confident in my personality around a

gibby type than i am like a really good looking guy and i almost like i don't like it because it's like like i can have chip crumbs all over me i can snort when i laugh they can come over and like this hair on the back of my head is gonna be like this and it's fine you know how did you do that like and then the hot people come over i found myself putting on liquid blush the other day it was like 2 a.m and i was like i don't look good enough like i need liquid blush on right now and i was like oh yeah i think i you know what i tested my waters with good looking guys i don't think it's For me I don't feel like I can be my best self and I think I'm retiring it and going back to

The gibbies of the world you want to know something so embarrassing I did last week what is it take my Fucking accounts away bro like it's like it's just like fucking so sad and pathetic um I was tagged In an Instagram photo that was a clothing ad right Okay And I'll fucking Airdrop it to Oscar So we can share it With the fucking class Okay And this happens to me a lot Where it's like

These brands That aren't like It's not like a Like real clothing brand All their images are stolen You know what I mean So it'll be like a model Wearing a shirt

And like the real campaign Was for a different brand Yeah So I was tagged in this photo Of this man Wearing this shirt For this clothing brand Oh oh no and you posted it on your story like a thirsty thirsty woman I'm so so I see this photo first of all let's just let's just talk about it for a second though and like it's he clearly didn't shoot for this brand do you want to bring that home to mama

no yeah I'm not judging the way I saved it because i saved people to like get at them later is so embarrassing in the screenshot i mean that's just my type to a t like if i had to paint my type on a fucking i'm not judging him he's a good looking guy he has hardcore vibes tattooed across his forehead yeah i'm judging that for sure do you know i have a serious i was saying this the other day but i have a serious fucking problem where it's like what the face tattoo says means so much to me like if that said something that i thought was cool they would be like 10 times that's not a serious problem that's a standard and i'm so proud of you for having that thank you um so i see this man and i'm just like that's the love of my life i don't know where he is i don't know who he is but i need to find him and so then obviously i do my own level of research i reverse google image search all of these images and they

don't show up anywhere and then I'm looking up what the brand originally was to try to find who modeled for them and like so on and so forth and I can't find it and then I'm just stuck on it it's become this whole bit so eventually I posted on my story and I'm like has anybody seen this man dude did you find him I still don't find him I have all my friends I tell every single one of my friends in the group chat I will give you $200 if you find this man. Like, I'm offering money. Shit, I'll find him for $200. That's what I'm saying.

So I was like, okay. I make a TikTok about it, right? I green screen a TikTok. Like, just, like, so fucking embarrassing, right? But this all would have been fine if it was the precursor to a beautiful love story, right? And then someone eventually finds the man is he married or something he's russian he doesn't speak any english that's perfect which explains

hardcore vibes um oh and um maybe he thought that was like super inspirational in english right you know how like that happens with like people who's like english speaking people all the time they'll get like something in another language that like really is like live laugh love absolutely um he has two kids hold on but i'm like this still isn't stopping me this could be the start of a beautiful love story and i messaged him and i said you're so hot and he left me on scene i posted on two different platforms okay but maybe he's still translating it i thank you thank you so much get you like get you a friend who feeds no yeah It's the time difference yeah seriously

I just I just can't believe though like I risked it all with all my other hoes Yeah you really put your like heart out On the line there for him to just like Leave you on scene that is what that Would hurt my feelings for sure and it's Just embarrassing I did two dedicated Posts you know I don't Know I'm not opposed to doing that

Though I'm like I'm all about making it Known that you're into somebody you got Mad at me for the other day for I tweeted Like somebody was hot and she was like Delete this like because I really want You in this person to work out you know What I mean I've done it I did it with The last person I'll do it again and I

Honestly I'm all about speaking it into Existence well I just thought I was all Cool and quirky like in my Justin Bieber looking for Wolfie Cindy era. Well, see, I'm trying to Hailey Bieber these men. I'm trying to be so obsessed with them that I end up marrying them. Honestly? Valid fucking point. That's a new verb we're using, Hailey Bieber'd.

So you would Hailey Bieber Pete Davidson? That's what you would do? I would love to Hailey Bieber Pete Davidson. Okay. I wonder if Hailey Bieber's Hailey Bieber'd Pete Davidson. Probably not. I don't know. I think she's... I love Pete Davidson, but I know love to Hailey Bieber, Pete Davidson. Okay. I wonder if Hailey Bieber's Hailey Bieber and Pete Davidson. Probably not. I don't know. I think she's... I love Pete Davidson, but I know I have to let it out the window.

He's just textbook so my type. Traumatized, funny, like pale, skinny, dying, tattooed man. I don't think he's my type anymore. I think I'm going for more of like a not him. What do you think your type is right now? I still want very funny. Love the funny. But I feel like What I learned about myself

Is that like I told you How hard of a time I had With this last breakup So I decided I'm trying to be the more Mentally ill person In the relationship Because I've already got a lot

A lot going on Yeah You know And if I It's just really Like I need probably somebody With no diagnosis As the person who's always

More mentally ill It is so fun It's so great it's like No because I know I I need to be the one With the issues I think you we have I Have this friend and you don't like her Hmm yeah I hate her guts I'm just Kidding guys you're always fine I don't Dislike her at all well you did at one

Point and yeah I hated your thing would Be like I hate her She only dates famous men She's such a little like Clout hungry demon And lately That's not why I hated her I hated her

Because she was mean to me Like I haven't seen you Go on like one date With like a non Super famous guy That is not A fair You've been a clout chaser lately

I have not been a clout chaser It's been Coincidental But like Where's like I want you to throw like A hinge boy into the mix just to bring you back i do all the men i've been like really into lately have been famous that's not that's not true which i guess good for you that's a good thing that's not a bad thing but not like that's not intentional it's just like is who i happened it was like an ad you're making me look bad right now No I think I'm making you look good honestly

No you're not That's kind of fun That's like a cringe thing I really like I actually do have like an issue with that I see it in like certain friends of mine And I'm like But it was an accident

I'm really liking lately The people that you've been dating Because it makes my life so interesting It's like It's good It's fun I'm all about like for the story right now You went on a date before

This podcast with someone And I can't wait to be I just won't it wasn't a date that wasn't a date did he know it wasn't a date no exactly i don't remember actually i didn't say this in the last episode but i talked about um mr washington dc i had been talking to mr washington dc for like a while but we had never met in person obviously and he was it he was on the opposite side of the world when we first started talking so when i was like first facetiming him i was like where do you live in la and i found out that he was he lived directly next door to me literally you could throw a rock at his like i can see like if i look out my way it's like you belong with me video taylor swift like we could literally like sign to each other from our windows do you believe in that because i kind of do you know me i love being delusional so i i started like connecting the

dots like being like oh my god obviously the universe literally brought us together and then he like literally didn't like me at all so then like i don't even know all these weird coincidences kept happening and then we were like chatting all day every day on like every platform and like texting and like all this stuff and then one day he just slipped through my fingers and so i'm debating on going to this party tonight so he sees me there you know what but is that crazy that's crazy it's not over until the fat lady sings is what they say i think you should go but i hate going to a party for someone like i think that's so embarrassing you threw a party for someone once i did do that once you got i love doing that great gatsbying it's like a whole fuck i call it literally a verb like the verb it's a verb it's

a verb great gatsbying like throwing an entire party at your house so one person comes because you want them listen whatever gets the job done you clearly are doing something right because you have a new boyfriend every five seconds no offense i have to stop speaking of weird coincidences and the universe bringing you together with someone, like whether it's too late or whether it's not, do you want to talk about? Oh, oh my gosh. So I have, this is like not like that interesting of a story, but I had, I have like, you know, when you have like life goals or not like life goals, but I've always been like a very

obsessive person. That's like, no, I'll kill you. I have had like literally I can name on one hand how many people I've like obsessed over. And it's been like one after another. But it like went, you know, like I'm not going to name them. But one of my main ones, he lasted all through high school and through college. And bless his heart, he was honestly not a victim, but like I was psycho. Like I was like obsessed with him and he just didn't care about me at all we like had our little run for a second and then he ended

it and never wanted anything to do with me ever again my whole personality was like being in love with him for all of college i moved to la we never talk again but recently he like he would unfollow me and then randomly follow me and he blew my phone up so bad one night that it was like no i have to show you i was so obsessed with him that this was my dream but it was so out of the ordinary that i literally thought he got hacked yeah oh my god look how bad oh that's like scary. Like sending me, sending me my photos. He commented on my photos and he had, he had a girlfriend. Okay. While he was doing this? Yeah. And so I, and I knew he had a girlfriend. So I was like, he's, he got hacked. And like people knew like how much I liked him and stuff. So I thought that maybe his little brother or somebody was like

hacking him. So I wasn't engaging at all. I was like, like, what is going on? Yeah. I was ignoring him. I go, please stop. Yeah. Blows me up, whatever. Next day blocks me. So I was like like what is going on yeah I was ignoring him I go please stop yeah blows me up whatever next day blocks me so I was like damn like god I can never win I was so excited he finally followed me again because I was like you know he's gonna see how good I'm doing in life blocks me so I text him and I'm like like three weeks later a month later and I'm like what did I do and he goes nothing sorry like happy holidays or something this was a while ago yeah and i'm like damn oh i remember this because you were so excited to go home to arizona for the holidays and he was gonna be there so i'm like

damn like it was really him obviously because otherwise he would have been like i got hacked yeah but i had a friend visit the other day and she she she filled me in that night, broke him and his girlfriend up. Do you think he was drunk? He well, he was drunk for sure. But he I didn't she, I guess, gone through his phone and she had seen all of that. It's so embarrassing. Imagine your man's doing that. And that broke them up.

But I was like, not that it felt full circle, but I was like, like, if you told me a few years ago that he would be blowing me up first of all that bad I would have been so thrilled because yeah, like that's all I ever wanted But to find out that that's that's the straw that broke the camel's back Like that's what broke him and his girlfriend up. I wasn't even engaging but it was really crazy And it reminded me that every time i've wanted something every time i've like really wanted to be successful to like prove a guy wrong Or like to show him something, every time I've like really wanted to be successful to like prove a guy wrong or like to show him something. By the time it actually happens, you don't give a fuck anymore. And that's the worst thing about life, I think.

I think that's kind of beautiful. It may be the best thing about life. Like just don't give a shit about anything because nothing matters. But it just sucks because like, you know, you like you want to work so hard to like piss off your bullies or whatever it is. But by the time you're successful enough, like you don't care anymore yeah not that i'm like so successful but i was finally successful in yeah like getting this man's attention and i'm like oh like wanted yeah i hated that story it made me sound psycho this whole episode has made me sound like a clout chasing psycho obsessive maybe you're just a clout chasing psycho obsessive bitch and that's okay you know what and

me i'm a serial dating fucking narcissist who doesn't fucking know who our vice president is and that's okay if anything that's that's what we are you know people say we're not philanthropists but we're doing it for the people you know you know what we are like you dumb dumb whores out there we are self-aware is what we are Oh my god Okay let's Let's end this episode I think I'm gonna go to a party To stalk a man And then hang out

With my boyfriend Who's not my boyfriend And my days of stalking are over Your days of soaking? Stalking Not soaking I'm still into soaking I'll come shake the bed

I got you baby You're so sweet Bye you