Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 33: Hannah Berner on Ozempic, Dating Comedians, and Facetune Ep. 33

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

The girls bring on their second guest, Hannah Berner. They discuss a range of topics, from the filthiness of their podcast couch to the pressure to be perfect. They touch on their experiences with men and relationships, and the male-dominated space of stand-up comedy. They express their love for collaborating with women and their desire to normalize failure and imperfection. Despite their humorous tone, the friends touch on serious topics, including anxiety and the pressures of growing up in high-stress environments. Overall, the conversation captures the humor and complexity of life and relationships, and the importance of supporting and empowering one another. Go to AdamAndEve.com and use code TANA at checkout. This is exclusive offer specific to this podcast so be sure to use this code TANA to get your discount, 100% Free Shipping and get it fast with Rush Processing - Code TANA! Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/CancelledYouTube Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/CancelledWithTanaMongeau Follow Tana on IG: @tanamongeau Follow Brooke on IG: @brookeschofield Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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actually does scare the shit out of me. That why i know they're so filthy that's why i know i can put my shoes on them 100 but it's so true that's the cleanest thing she like gets confidence all the time about her shoes on the couch it's like so disrespectful i'm like dude i've literally seen her like eat cereal out of the crevices like asha backwood just on they're indestructible though like i know that they're like a little tattered and torn leather couch is for that's what it's supposed to do Guys today we have The lovely Hannah Burner

Sure Eating muffin out of my nail right now I've been talking about like How I'm not so against that Like a little like ranch Under the nail for later For later Exactly

Also these long nails They don't talk about like It'll smell like burrito For four days 100% Imagine hers Well first of all Like look at that

What's going on? I want your genuine opinion on those nails right now. This is a thing. This is not a thing. How are we going to fight the patriarchy when you literally can't even like use your thumbs? I can't wipe my ass. Like it's actually. You can't send a text.

At all. At all. It's like the side of my knuckle. I'm like, you are so. It's actually. But it looks fucking sick. I need them off though. It's crazy.

Are you ever like, even just like during sex, like these ones are like a little like so big that it actually like prohibits like my sexual abilities. You're like endangering them a bit? Like a little, both of us, I think, honestly. But it like changes their personality. Like you're that bitch. Yeah. Like I can always cuss someone out with this, which I think is good, but I need these off.

These were for Coachella and now they're just a little scary. I can't believe you went to Coachella too? I did not go to Coachella this year. I sat this one thank god i've never been don't ever go you don't know i i'm sincerely i think my new thing is boycotting coachella i also some girl who doesn't like me i saw a video of her on tiktok like saying like like tana didn't have that much fun at coachella and you know when someone's saying how does she know yeah like when someone's saying some shit that's kind of true i'm like bitch but like why do you know i had no fun no sometimes the reads are so good i'm like why does this troll get me more than my mom tana looks like she didn't have a lot of fun like i didn't and also

if you did actually have fun like that's what else is going on in your life you know thank you so much gives you the delusional friend who just helps you normalize i've been saying that's that's what else is going on in your life, you know? Thank you so much. Get you the delusional friend who just helps you normalize. I've been saying that's all I want. I want to live in cotton candy land. Like, just tell me completely not the truth. I think some people have fun. I'm just, I feel 80, dude. I always have had fun.

I thought it was the most, like, amazing thing in the world. But this year I was like, I just can't go. And then I saw everyone's stories and I was like, I was so ahead of the curve. Was it different this year than other years? It's, okay, it's always been like an influencer orgy disgusting clout fest but there was something about this year that was like so much more than others like intolerable to me i don't know why and maybe i'm just getting older and i'm growing those darn tiktokers those darn tiktokers

i'm like i need them but it's so funny coming from you guys who i feel like have mastered the la scene like i feel like that's all i think of when i like a beach in town so like why no i have when i think something's funny i'll say it for like three months and like to the point that it's not funny anymore it was never funny when i'm gossiping with my friends i'll be like and then you know like and then a beach in town and with my friends, I'll be like, and then, you know, like, and then a bleach and tone. And then I'll put it mid sentence and then not acknowledge it. And my friend will be like, what the fuck are you doing?

Like, I'm stuck in the like formative years of my career. Like, I'm like 30 and I'm still saying bleach and tone. Do you remember what I DM'd you? What did you say to me? I said she needs to come up with a house music banger, a bleach and tone remix. I would pop my pussy so hard. A bleach and tone remix i would pop my pussy so hard you have a chance a bleach a bleach a bleach and tone it's brilliant you're on to something there have diablo do it he literally could i wouldn't even have to do diablo do it that was the most la shit someone named diablo

lives in my back literally lives downstairs like a music producer no he first of all yes also he's like seven times grammy nominated or something crazy platinum oh that's the most seven times platinum he's like just downstairs there's like there's like an apartment attached to my house so like i rented out to him but it's funny you have to like hike to it like music industry like yeah i was having like house rager like bangers out and shit i'm like wait that's amazing so you just roll out and be in like a huge like molly fest honestly if i wanted to he's not gonna like that i'm calling his downstairs a molly fest but it's just a joke wait but i would like because you've been in music

well you know you know someone say you are the music industry oh thank you literally so she's she's lost her marbles a little no but i have respect yeah she's playing coachella next year yeah headlining with no but you have to have respect for someone who's like i'm gonna put out music when i'm not um trained in music when i know when i'm not good when i'm not you're not classically trained or are you i think my entire yeah no i'm super good after there's a banger i think my entire career is just swinging and like missing 80 of the time and then there's the occasional hit you know well if it works it works was a miss i'm like look where you live it's working dude i'm all about

failing and like i love failing i love failing fast i love breakups i love getting fired i love getting canceled like let's fucking go i i literally i couldn't agree more i don't know if it's like did you grow up in like a toxic environment well i grew up in brooklyn new york with like a pretty intense like i was an athlete and everything was about like it when you win people love you more and it was just like high pressure and i just like wanted to i was the the oldest child and i wanted to be perfect for everyone, people pleaser. And then I realized like, you'll fucking be numb with like anxiety if you live like I need to be perfect for everything. And women too,

they have so much pressure to be like, do they have it all? Is everything aligned up perfectly? These men are out here like slaying and flaying and whatever. Absolutely. Being wild. That's why I want to slay and flaying.

You slaying and flaying. I just gotta do whatever I can. You're married. Yeah. I know. It's really like off-brand for me it's so i literally said that downstairs i go she's married but like i feel like no one knows about it no one knows we don't talk about it it's so we need to talk about it i want to be married like no i'm not that's gonna be me i'm gonna be married and i'm gonna be like well yeah i'm like technically married but like that's exactly how you will be i'm literally are technically married like you know normalize like getting married but like that's exactly how you will be that's how you are technically married like you know normalize like getting married but then like forgetting yeah so talk to me about that can i ask

questions yes babe because you're just so like independent i feel like you're a fellow like man hater kind of like us you know what i mean that's really where i started to like bond with you so much online she got married like she like i was like this girl hates man i need her in my life merch that says like men are trash that's like our whole thing and being able to wear at home to your husband is our an art form yes we are all about de-centering men from our lives um but it's fucked up because like i love men i fuck with men so hard but like i only fuck with like guys who like let you shine you know and i don't have any tolerance for dudes who are like not supporting women being cool and like i love collaborating with women i'm in a male dominated space of stand-up comedy oh my god i

can't yeah we want to ask you about that too i want to know i want to know what you think from the inside you need like seven hours some of these people but i i just like i feel like i was people were put on this planet for a reason yeah and like for whatever reason it takes a lot for me to get embarrassed because i'm like always doing stupid shit too like we're kind of connected that way it's it's actually and it's a superpower if you think about it like so i'm like i will say things and do things that maybe other people are afraid to if it makes other people less afraid in the future absolutely like i'll i'll do stand-up comedy i'll post stupid shit that was like poetic like i'm out here just like farting in public like there's a purpose there's a greater purpose like not like no tana like that was beautiful no like you're slutty bernie brown

you're jay shetty if you got bleached hair it was really good to blow job oh my god that's literally incredible it's beautiful being a woman in the stand-up comedy space is crazy yeah like it is i feel like there's nobody really hardly at all now well i do have to say people don't talk about this enough that the reason there's not more women in stand-up is because when you're starting off, it is not like a safe space. Like let's say you're like, Hannah, I want to do an open mic tomorrow. You have to, let's say you're in New York City. You have to go to like Brooklyn at midnight

at a bar full of like just drunk dudes and go up and like- Try to make them laugh. Try to make them laugh, which like people can do, but like there's so many funny women who like six months in are like, I don't think this is worth it. Yeah.

I don't think this is for me. And then if you can't afford Ubers, you're, like, on the train heading home. Like, it's not cultivating an easy, like, starting off point. But TikTok and online and YouTube have changed that so women and meme culture is all gays and girls. Let's be honest. Yes. So, like, it's enabled women to be able to get their sense of humor out and feel safe yeah so that's kind of i was able to do it online first so then i was already like booking clubs and i didn't have to like

start like a fast pass tiktok definitely did like change that a lot because it's like even that like you said you'd be like at midnight at a bar and it'd be like a bunch of guys like like in order to get yourself in front of like more of a female audience tiktok definitely kind of like for sure fast past that because you know many girls are so talented and they i was because i was an athlete i think i'm used to being in like male spaces but i'm like trying to bulldoze like i'm trying to be like bring the girls get the girls but it's also like like we say we hate men but it's like no we just want men to not be shitty oh my god more than anything like because i love men but like once you're aware that like you're

not the problem and they're the problem it's very empowering i really i've always been aware of that somehow i don't know how but i but i still you were saying like not putting men at the center of your world i'm still such a boy crazy like psycho individual. So I don't understand. Like I hate them, but I couldn't live without them. But you even like went to girls for a sec. Yeah. Oh yeah.

But you still are boy crazy. She dabbles. She dabs. But I also go for girls that are like, make the whole male race look like the most like kind, un- Male race is hilarious. I pick, like, cause I need a girl who's crazier than me which i think is like imagine even trying to find that that's honestly why i can't date girls that often

because i need you to come in my life and fuck it up so memorably that like i want you know what i mean wait is the sex with girls just like insane it's yeah it's insane i guess sure there's a lot of crying it's that's what how it feels that's how it feels like you're picking petals and flowers like out of a field like even if it's not it still feels like that like girls are just so girls are emotional i feel like that's the real problem i heard scarlet talk about this we have a friend who's like been straight literally all up until like a year ago now she's in like a happy relationship with the girl she had no idea either and she's like it's so much better but it's like now there's in like a happy relationship with the girl she had no idea either and she's

like it's so much better but it's like now there's twice the emotion because like the guys aren't like sobbing at everything and like getting so that's so true like if i fuck a girl one time i feel like it's like so intimate and like you know what i mean i feel my friend who's a lesbian she i asked her i was like how do you know when it's done because you know like i feel like they're just fucking and fucking and fucking multiple orgasms it's like all night yeah and dude's like you you know when it's done like he's over absolutely the twitching is the twitching is weirdly in it you like take his hand and you're like but like lesbians like they i asked her this is actually so fucked up but i asked her like how do you know it's done and she's like you you ask her and i'm like what's it like to have consensual

sex that's fucking insane like to talk and communicate during sex that's honestly too intimate for me like i i don't even mean to be like me too but like like i like it i agree but like there is something about just fucking you know i'm a man i think you do have like a very like male mindset i feel like which is really scary i feel like would be good for a relationship with a girl over a guy yeah but then i just i seriously pick the people who need like padded rooms yeah because we're similar because i do think like i have similar masculine energy i found an older man okay zaddy okay he's tired how he's tired he lets he's exhausted i make his oatmeal in the morning like his banana jello he actually he couldn't

if you wanted to he's like a walker no he has arthritis he's not but how much older than you is he so he's 47 okay and he's a comedian and we met during covid we got engaged in six months it was fucking crazy covid relationships are crazy too it's like dog it's accelerated yeah it's like diy at home trauma bond like so easily you have to like macgyver the relationship absolutely but when i said decenter men from your life i I really meant like I was a player in that. Like I was about strategy. I was game plan. I was like, girlies, let's get together.

Like, when are we texting him and why? How are we finding him? How am I going to trick him into being obsessed with me? Love a good trick. I'm in that phase right now. Yeah. And I always felt like if I said the right thing at the right time, if I was funny enough, if I was cute enough.

And then you realize like that's not decentering men from your life. Yeah. That's like you trying to force energy onto them oh no where we need to throw my phone i'm like this is no good anymore but for real it's like what happened is i just started i was like single 29 living with my parents during covid with four cats. And my mom was like, still wet when I'm wrong. And I was like, mom, I didn't, I didn't miss anyone. I didn't like the, no one got away.

Wow. But I remember being like, after a couple of bad relationships where you lose yourself, you start to just be like, can I just wake up in the morning and feel good about myself? Yeah. And that's like the bare minimum. Wake up,

be happy, have friends you fuck with. And the next thing you know, I started getting into comedy. And this dude who was a comedian that I'd seen like five years ago, who lived in Ireland. So I was like, I guess I can't marry him. But I saw him in the city and I was like, he's fucking hot. Why is everyone a leprechaun in my head in Ireland?

I don't know. I'm thinking like PSI leprechaun. No, he's like a tall leprechaun. Very handsome. And I said, and he dm me because he saw me in behind like some nikki glazer's instagram story and like again like that was i did not trick him i did not think of that the universe is like conspiring in your favor if you fucking let it but if you're like oh instead of doing what i want to do i'm gonna like go into this bar because i

think my ex might be there with his like no that's the entire cancel podcast without you dead ass like we know she's so right but you're so 100 because then your energy the universe i say it's like surfing you guys are from la i'll do a surfing reference but it's like when you i've never fucking surfed before and i never will but if you find the right wave you know how it's fucking smooth right now you're just battling but you see if we were throwing up like you could tell that's fucking smooth but right now you're just battling but you see if we were throwing up like you could tell that's that's that's exactly what i'm saying like those two perfect curls my shit would have like something on your chest but just still like you just know

this hair would be like straight up like this one would have like some buffalo sauce but but i think that you should take a little bit of her and you should take a little bit of her we try sometimes we like do a little switcheroo. We do sometimes like, you know, I'll be like wholesome for like a week and then you'll be like feral. Yeah, she just did 75 hard. She was sober forever and I was having a drink for the both of us. It was a bad time. What did you drink for?

No, literally because I have this weird thing. And by this weird thing, I mean alcoholism. Where when I can't fucking drink, I have to black out the people around me and like feel it through them like a Megan Fox like blood sucker energy sucker like weird it was so horrible it was like we'd be at dinner and she'd like drink it now yeah like oh my god like that's that's almost just as bad as you being blacked out like I used to have that like if I would feel guilty about eating something I'd be like here have some that's kind of like a man though now with me like I'm married and if a guy's super hot I'll just text my friend i'll be like please fuck him for me do you would you like my number yeah oh i love

i like a rolodex and i like to like connect people oh that's beautiful i love a cupid friend but you guys i forget like you guys are of course young you're young right kind of what are you 26 26 24 and you both like have mature energy but as someone who's in her 30s 31 but aren't the 30s like girl everything like everyone says they're like everything your 30s are everything i say your 20s is trying to get people to like you and your 30s are you trying to like yourself oh my god i love that and isn't there a piece to that to wake up and be like what does this bitch want today because absolutely because in your 20s you're still like you're supposed to be fucked up in your 20s no one tells that to you they're like it's your best time of your life and you're so skinny and you everyone loves you no you're fucking i was a mess i'm confused every time i said anything i was like that was weird that was super weird

i think you get to go through enough trauma by the end of your 20s that your 30s you're like i can't live every day scared of like is this the end yeah like anything that happened to me in my 20s i was like this is it well yeah i just write off everything as my 20s you know when i bulldoze my whole life like fuck everything up i'm like i'm just like 24 i'm so quirky and young but like i also feel 80 so it's like a weird balance you know i'm obsessed with that i'm like an old man deep down right that i like genuinely am i feel that i'm a retired old but not in like a wise way and like my knees hurt and like i've made awful decisions my whole life like i'm just grumpy for no reason literally i'm so angry at the world like nothing like cool about being an 80 year old man just all the negative

parts seriously someone date me but you you do give like like rich man energy thank you so much but also like you'll like rich man like you'll cheat on her yeah she does give that as well i'm just kidding i fell on his dick i slip with my little 20 year old feet Literally Exactly That's No I'm trying I'm trying to be better I think the beginning

Of my 20s I really got all my Actual feral Awful behavior Feral Like just can't even Like think about it Now I think at least

I can kind of Think about it I credit that to people Like Brooke too The good decision makers Around me That's the nicest thing You ever said to me

Wow But I haven't been Making very good decisions honestly yeah and honestly like it's the blind leading the blind hell yeah that's true but that is so your 20s it is it's a fucking blind leading the blind and then also like sex in your 20s was so bad like you have so many experiences i think i heard you say this one time it's like you literally just don't even like because they know you don't even know that it's bad until it's not anymore i mean i feel so bad for the girlies but i think when you get a little older in your late 20s that's when you start fucking with the squirrel brains and you start getting those like older guys in their late 30s i'm hoping so but see i'm scared of being with a man with not a

squirrel brain as well because it's like then how the fuck am i gonna manipulate yeah that's what i have to deal with my like he calls me out on my shit it's super humbling i say sorry all the time oh my god but that's because i'm done with my i do not want to say sorry ever but you'll get to a point where you realize oh a relationship is about like two people not competing against each other and it's like we're just we're making we have each other's backs yeah if me saying sorry like helps us like then we're more powerful he's the one oh my god this motherfucker we started i started seeing him he's a comic so obviously a narcissist he's a what oh like you think like he's gonna be a narcissist comedian men are like yeah nightmares a lot of the time to date oh we have to we have to talk we will

go we will talk yes and i dated comics before and i was mrs like i'm never dating a comic before again so then i was like trying to make him jealous like second week obviously yeah i was like text some shit and he just called me called me and was like hey if you want to like play games that's totally fine i just don't really want to be involved in something like that i would have a stroke i put my tail up my butt yeah and i was like and in that moment i was like that was so vulnerable and like i was like he's gonna fuck the shit out of me this man like that man like knows what he's doing and immediately i was like i'm so sorry and um well there is something to be said about being with someone you like have respect for even you know that's the thing it's like if you can play the games it's like you

there's that power dynamic there you know in my 20s i think i actually had intimacy issues like i never wanted to be hurt so i would fuck with like all these like hot dumb dudes all the time that like if they hurt me i'd be like he's dumb like he's stupid but i liked being like a man where like i'm like i'll be the ugly funny one and he'll be like and look at all these hot men that like me but it's all ego what you thought you were the ugly funny yeah i wanted to be like the ugly funny i wanted like hot hot like i wanted stupid hot i'm like oh and just so dumb like not a thought behind their eyes like beautiful like spells the word isn't i s i n t and i'm like oh my and you need it up every yeah i'm like he's so funny that's it's actually that is boring like so boring literally I'm I've started to kind of

accept that I think you can't have it all though like just I literally wrote this down in my notes the other day for us to talk about we were talking about like the um like how every like little quality adds up and it's like you have to subtract something to get the other like every guy I've ever been fun like with it's funny and fun if it's funny and fun he's not might as well beat me and if he could like you know no funny is so powerful and i think that's why like we have power because we're funny and some men can't handle it but you know what it is yeah no guy's perfect it's finding the demons of his that will fuck with your demons in the right way so like the shit that you're that was some deep shit like complimentary complimentary demons so like everyone's fucked up after yeah you're right after a couple months

you're like oh that's his thing and then being like is that my thing yeah that's a crazy i've never because you can't you shouldn't have like the same ones yeah there's because that's what you realize in your 20s like you're gonna meet guys who like his demons other girls can handle but not you because of your past trauma whoa the demon thing is crazy because i just like pretend they're not there to explode and i kill you in your sleep but like once you i feel like okay i'm getting so fucking deep and i did not think this podcast was gonna be the one but here we go now that's hurtful first of all no but tell me why like my notes today we're like talk about x

like i had nothing i'm going like i see why like no i only fuck with deep talk but but it's like you're gonna they're like a mirror for you where like i think you're gonna end up with someone who's put on this earth to teach you something so sometimes it's actually uncomfortable like if i get bored if a guy like lets me just like be my naughty self and get away with all my bullshit like i'm bullshitting i'm bullshitting i'm whatever and he's not challenging me you need a little challenge that means he cares absolutely but it's uncomfy and if you don't want to deal with that then like you're not ready to like be with the person that you want to level up for oh my god well shit i'm like i'm learning today is i'm really not ready for anything at all well i think i learned that a little while ago 17 and i've always said that

and i've always fucking said that and it's not like i've become more mature you just get tired where you're like okay like i can't do this whole rigmarole again yeah like how many times can you have the same fucking bullshit six months relationship and that's the thing is so many times yeah i weirdly just i weirdly just have this like respawn button right now like where i just six months response six months hopefully that'll change soon okay i'm trauma dumping someone else start talking now please i also love you wearing uggs okay it's because my toenails i wanted to be barefoot so bad but i swear to god if my bare feet were next to you right now you'd leave this house i'm the only person to tell like she might get, but I swear to God, if my bare feet were next to you right now, you'd leave this house.

Anyways, she might get upset, but I'm like dirtier than you. I swear to God. Talk to me, though, because I promise you. I took a bath in my own throw up last night. Was it exfoliating? Probably. Honestly, it's kind of that's so true. It's just there's just something about, you know, but you are cleaner.

I don't even know. I don't know why I'm trying to fight for my life. I'm like, i am dirty this guy sent me a photo of my shirt that i left at his house like a while ago the other day and i kid you not i honestly should i just there's like skid marks on it should should i share drop the photo like it's no i'm not kidding i'll put it in to cancel but i'm just gonna show you on this man's floor i'm not kidding you i just need to be like that is not mine that's your other that's not my shirt that's your secret family that's not me look at first of all the hillary duff let the rain fall wait first of all i need that shirt second of all it's brown yeah like it's a white tank top like what did i do

i can't see it it could be blood there's not even like that's your i could never be like that's your other girls like no one else is anyone else is at least taking that home no like you know we have a dog or something yeah but like unfortunately i'm the dog i think so terrifying but there is something hot about like that adam sandler confidence to be like i'm fucking gross you know exactly who you're talking about I'm fucking gross and you're still gonna fuck me honestly honestly I think that I just had an out-of-body experience that I'm looking for the Adam Sandler but I am the Adam Sandler oh my god because this guy was like I find it so endearing like how you can't eat a meal without getting it like all over your shirt like it's so sweet like he's like going on about how cute it is and i'm like like you're brainwashed as hell because

that's not the case you know what i mean no but you're gonna find that man like i remember i was at a party once with all these models and i was dating this like british dude and he said that he looked over at me and i was like hunched over manspread like every talking with my hands like something way too passionate about something stupid i think i like spilled the drink on the table and he was like in that and he was like kind of into it but in my head i was like i'm gorgeous literally that is my entire life like i've never just no i'm trying to be like you're missing a tooth and i'm like you're jealous bro dead i like i've never once sat like i have a vagina in my entire entire life And I'm like, you're jealous. Bro, dead.

Like, I've never once sounded like I have a vagina in my entire, entire life. My mom's going to be like, hey, can you not sit like with seven chins on the next podcast? I'll be like, I don't care. Because we cannot compete with the patriarchy if like we're worrying about it and they're not. But then I'll face tune myself into a sim that's like pick a goddamn team, bitch. Like, how are you going to face tune yourself to look like a Hadid and then be at a party like rocking out with your cock out like figure it out have you ever had a makeup artist take a pic and then send it to you like face tuned gorgeously oh my god absolutely yes yeah and i know you're gonna say like oh my god no wait like no so i never i used to i never edit photos because i'm like oh i don't want to hate myself in real life but yesterday this woman did

my makeup she sent the photo and i know that she was face to and i asked my friend the god she straight up was like i saw the photo you looked amazing she did a good job and it was to the point where i sent it to my own family and my mom was like you've never looked prettier i'm like yeah because it's not me and then i was like page i'm gonna post it and see what people do most likes i've gotten on a photo and like forever no so it's fucked up that society is responding it's dark to me looking like bella and i i like write it off is that i'm like i'm just it's my job it's my job like no well part of me is like okay if i get more engagement when they fucking make

me look like an alien pussy that's what i'm that's literally what i'm saying but at the same time i would face tune like my passport photo so then it's like you know like yeah i did it i did it you know like at the dmv like you have, is your airdrop on? Because I need, I need a fucking movie to kiss. Face app silk three. Oh my God. But like for the girls in their twenties listening, how you carry yourself is fucking everything. Do you know who you're talking to?

Like, first of all, just just even just i always say like i feel like our entire fan entire fan base is like fatherless street rats you know what i mean like we're all no offense street rats should be the name of the podcast see my dad i had this obsession like he was my coach so it was all about like to this day i don't care what my husband thinks i just want my dad to be proud of me wait what was your what was your sport you keep i was a tennis player oh my gosh that's a really like tennis is so hot it wasn't when i started it was for the nerds when i was there i was like fucking tennis where now every girl like has a tennis racket like oh my god i want to play tennis that wait i need to give you guys a tennis lesson i would do anything i can't imagine something

funnier than us two trying to learn how to play it's also i would lesson. I would do anything in the world. I can't imagine something funnier than us two trying to learn how to play tennis. It's also a good fitness. I would do anything in the world to try it. Seriously, let's do it. And I just want to go to like Malibu with you. And there's like the Sofia Richie types. And I want to just watch you fucking eat them alive. Oh my God.

We'll grunt. We'll be like, ah! Like manly grunts. Oh my God. Wait, now this is my dream. I'm not kidding. I put it on the calendar. But it's so sexual.

You just shove like a ton of balls in your skirt. And you're just like, mm, mm, mm. I've got just like that's one in here one in here i'm like that's insane that's oh my god like a little bra wait you could be my protégé's you're my next william sisters oh my god i love that i absolutely love that i would love i love that sincerely stand up is crazy to me too like i love your whole journey i would like want all the man on the street shit you do and shit is so cool is that ever like because like i just recently got into like trying out man on the street shit yeah and i have i had so much fun it's an art but it's it like people don't talk about how scary it is like you see the final product and it's just you like talking to people with a microphone and the people who talk

back and the funny things or whatever yeah you have to kind of like get up in someone's grill you piss people off i'm cheating in mine yeah so mine at first i'm at a comedy club like every night like working on material and you're just hanging and i was like it'd be so fun to ask dudes questions that like they don't get asked yeah and like kind of make them uncomfortable yeah just see the men really know these things and again i know that like i'm not afraid of saying stupid shit yeah didn't you ask me like how many tampons girls use during the week like i'll ask them all that stupid shit i'll ask them about farting like girls who fart and yeah i almost feel like it's almost all the questions i ask are such good

first date questions because after asking them these weird questions i'm like i know exactly the kind of dude you are it's so true perfect it's so true so but they're just down for it so what i was doing is at this comedy club and I went outside and I was interviewing men and they're like these drunk finance bros. And it was fine. But the next day they're calling me like messaging me on LinkedIn being like, hey, don't post that. Don't post that because you have to get consent. And if they're drunk, there's no consent. And I'm like, I'm not fucking getting in like legal battles with these people.

And I don't care to post you that bad. Yeah. So there's I actually am interviewing all my comedian friends oh really at the club they're comedians they're standing because at first i was like i don't want comedians like i want it to be like raw and stupid but i realized comedians are raw and stupid yeah so i end up i go to the club i text all my people these are like open micers these are people who've been doing comedy for 10 years oh that's genius and we've created this like community so i'm not going up to random people i would like harass strangers

for it it's terrifying it's really terrifying and also you almost have to get if you do that you have to not be yourself you have to be like i'm a different person coming up 100 it's like manic and insane and you have to like just block out completely where you are and i do it with jeff and jeff is like yeah insane and like this man too like he's not afraid of anything you know what i mean so if he pisses someone off he's like you know what i mean and i'm like highly sensitive where i'm like if i was that person right now i'd be so upset no literally and i'm like in the corner like oh my god jeff please stop like this is so embarrassing like i can't i'm interviewing comedians at the club so i'll like hit him up and be like i'm doing me on this i called him on the street 8 p.m they all get in a line and then i we just fucking go

for like three hours and that's so smart and then you just know it's gonna be funny because they're funny and then i edit the i edit the fuck out of it because i actually came come from like a comedy video background really i used to work with this company betches okay where i would wait wait i know what it is they're like a meme page okay i used to write but i have a podcast right so they have podcasts they have like a lot of stuff but i I was like 25, no job. And was like, I want to do something with video and just be a goofy little goose. Nice little goose era.

And I manifested like I just want to do video. Next thing you know, they're paying me like $300 a week. People were like, Hannah's not doing well. But I saw a long term. I was like, when I'm 30, I'm going to at least be in my lane. I'm going gonna be on the right wave surfing right huge surfer so i started writing tweets and memes and it was like a betches boot camp i called it like and then i started writing these like snl type sketches

and again like i was just working my little ass off for no money yeah but i was like wait i found yeah like what you want to do and i was fucking a comedian at the time so subconsciously i was like learning about him don't do that so but we have to talk about it we used to have this conversation because i have a serious problem with saying things we shouldn't on this podcast what's your experience have you besides your husband did you dabble in comedians at all i i had like one very serious comic that i dated and I like messed around with another one. And I'm I know them all very deeply. So when I first heard about comics, they're like comics are the worst. And I'm like, are they really that much worse than like a finance bro or an actor or YouTuber or TikToker?

And I realized I was like, no, not if you're with a successful one. No, the successful ones are like the most fucked up because it's like narcissists vibes it's the most insane because they're so powerful that they can make anyone laugh at any time yeah so there's different types of comics there's the ones who are like so funny on stage and then off stage they're just like depressed empty worthless without like validation yeah which we can relate to i'm like wait and then there's the ones that don't fucking turn off yeah like as in like i'm doing bits i'm doing bits i'm doing i don't think i could be with somebody like that honest to god because i feel like i would just

be like how can i tell when you're not kidding i realized that like i thought i was gonna enter a comedian era for like two seconds and then it was was like, okay, everything can't be a joke. And if you're hanging out with their friends, it's like, you can't get a word in. Cause everyone's getting the punchline, the punchline, the punchline.

And they're like the person who has to be like, have the most attention in the room. And it's like, and it's, and it just got to turn your own volume. Always swinging like that. Like not everything's funny. Like if they're like still or sparkly and I'm still,

and you're like, don't think about still. It's like, Oh my God. At some point you're like, how much laughter do you need to feel whole? And, and they're definitely like not being themselves. So It's like, Oh my God. At some point you're like, how much laughter do you need to feel whole? And, and they're definitely like not being themselves.

So you're like, how do I even like connect with you? Cause they act the same way in front of everyone and they don't fucking turn off. So those are kind of like the two comics, like they're really depressed. And then my dude was like a European comic. So they're kind of different.

So he's like, he's a little different. So he's like, so he like smokes a cigarette. But he's like he's a little different so he's like so he like smokes a cigarette but he's he he's more like lived more life where like if you met him you wouldn't know he was a comedian yeah and that's like ideal yeah but a lot of the comics like their skill is conversation so like i have to tell myself sometimes to stop because i'll be like at a normal brunch and i'm like i gotta murder this brunch I gotta be killing I gotta get everyone laughing then I'm like stop yeah just people like you just sit there just exist well it's hard when you have a job in general that

like relies on any form of like validating people because it's like a very weird gray area of like trying not to run that over into like your every interaction you know for sure but I also feel like there's so many people who are funny and to do standup comedy, you have to have a certain level of self hate. Like it's crazy. Like to be like, instead of staying in tonight, I'm going to go out and test new jokes on an audience that could think I suck. Yeah.

But I have that like masochistic vibe where like, I think it's a lack deep. I'm very confident, but deep, deep down, I'm not confident in that. I'm like, I need to work so much harder than everyone around me to be successful that's fair wow so i do like so then i do crazy shit where it's like yeah why why do you have 400 shows this month oh my god that's just literally i can run away from my thoughts understandable though that's so crazy though i just would have so much fear honest to god just like a bad audience like don't ever you say honest to god i want to say on god oh my god see and then it's like i just do things like that and it's like oh my god how do you ever like recover like i'm in a constant bit but that like now i can never not oh 100 and it's but also

women sorry i didn't mean to yell you guys women are multifaceted like you could be like on god bryce whatever and then the next second you're fucking yelling at your accountant being like yeah i made three million dollars this last month figure out what to do like it's about like we're not putting one box the tile your verse you're a woman of many times it's pussy sometimes it's dick it's whatever you're in the mood for honestly that's true but i'm proud of you guys i feel like you're fucking killing it you're putting yourself out there. I think it's so funny that you said

before we started rolling that we are like the epitome of LA to you. Like, or that we like define LA. That sounded more condescending than how you said it. You said it really nicely. No, no, no. Yeah, that, because I don't,

I'm not familiar with like the YouTube scene. I'm like, I'm from Brooklyn, New York. I'm just a new york city rat i call it and you go online and you see like tana with like gorgeous blonde hair with all these like buffalo sauce in it ranch and just like all these like celebrities that you see and like every night they're just partying and and then like just looking insanely hot all the time going out what tana you're bikinis that's like the the fake one and then you guys you're always like there's some corvette in the back like there's some like kid with a weird haircut that has like 80 million

followers just like patchwork tattoos yeah always it's just it's great and yeah like even sitting here you know i live in like a great and yeah like even sitting here you know i live in like a little apartment new york city and you guys are looking on to i don't even know what this is i don't know what la is but it's beautiful i don't know what that is but i feel like you're fucking la i i am like so la and i've like i fought that for so long but i've just been here for so long that i think i don't feel like it's a shameful thing people are always like so condescending about it i'm like no You're what people move to LA to become. I think as long as you don't get caught up in like the negative shit.

I saw this TikTok of this girl on a podcast, like a TikToker on a podcast. And she was like, LA is just so dark and everyone's off. And just going on and on. But I'm like If you can't come to a city And find six people Who are real people Two

Just find two You'll make it On God On God Literally two people Who are just real as shit And like take you out of that world And you guys can actually

Have a real friendship And be real people Like you're the problem People are like It's like a hasty generalization Yeah like LA is just so I can't make one friend I'm just so different than I go make friends with the barista bitch like they're like normal fucking people your job

if you like if you want them to be like honestly go back yeah 100% I think blaming a whole ass city I'm not cities are fucking hard cities will eat you up and spit you out for sure New York as well New York is just like that but I always say like it's about the energy you're here for the potential and the energy and you don't just get here and everything works out yeah like you didn't just become where you are and you have to fight for shit even shit like friendships and relationships and you've got to like work to curate what you want around you and not just like oh woe is me nothing i was there for like literally three and a half years before i had any friends that were like you like my really fucked with and had any sort of and

you were also figuring out who you were too during it oh yeah i don't but that's why i think people come to la and they just want it all to be like success and you know a slow rise to beautiful fame you fucking failed your way to the top and i'm gonna keep doing it and that's some michael jordan shit like i mean with all these random references but like you're such an athlete i'm such an athlete i'm literally i'm an old man i told you i'm an old man but like he shot and missed so many like winning i'm gonna leave here today on a motherfucking high horse like i'm canceling my meetings i'm failing my way to the top baby jordan has a great small time right he missed so many game winning shots because he was going for it you're just always going for game winning shots don't be

sitting around the bench judging the people going for game winning shots and missing suck a dick that's just it's just so funny comparing tana mojo to michael jordan in any realm like like i understand the analogy but just like out of body like and i don't necessarily know if i think everything was a game winning shot like i think some were like put the ball down bitch like get a ball like traveling with it like no no me like no are you afraid of failing no oh my god and it shows i that was a compliment i fucking swear i swear it just means you're going through life fearless i think i'm just you know right literally i think i don't i'm just always swinging that's what i've always said i'm always swinging some hits i miss i'm just i used to be worse with that

because i'm very naturally impulsive like especially if there's no like if there were no cameras on right now like i'm saying what this it's just live stream of consciousness you know i'm even just now that we're getting back into this like trying to work on being better at that like not just like don't say some things you know what i mean and loose lips like makes you good at what you do but then as more people listen you're like oh like what i say affects people yeah there's like a balance i've just entered my what I say affects people era. And also when you're trying to make people laugh, that's hard because obviously the behind all of it is always good.

You're like, I'm trying to get laughter. Absolutely. So you're not like out here trying to like actually like, yeah, be a politician and like hurt people. And I love shocking shit. So I'm like always saying shocking shit, wild shit. But it's like I've just like when I look back on my old anything like interviews podcasts tiktoks everything like even just this week this girl was like kind of coming at me on like a podcast and i was like

me two years ago would have a seven part series disorientating why i hate her her life her existence and every bad thing she's ever done as if i've done nothing bad ever you know what i mean like just like yeah rose-colored glasses on completely and like now i can actually just like press draft there's also this new thing of like you not responding takes you to like another level it's beautiful it really i have such a hard time with it though because it like i want so badly to respond that's why the reddit thing but they want you to read it phase right now and it's like i can't do you know what she admitted to me downstairs no do you know what she admitted to me downstairs like you couldn't waterboard this information out of me brooke first of all like i can't even believe she has an account on reddit but her username is like

like user 1075 whatever like just a randomized one and she'll be on her reddit thread and if someone says something about her she'll be on that little account like defending herself and then write like dash brooke like like is in the thread like on a burner i'll say i'll say yeah like no you're wrong this is what really happened and i i say it's and they're like okay user 537 i'm sure you're broke and they don't they never believe you know this is not sustainable i know it's not sustainable and it's really bad for my mental health honest to god no the reddit reddit is emotional cutting it is it's self-harm sorry clip no it's a literal self-harm but and then you get a little you have a couple good comments you get kind of cocky that's the problem she taught me this from the

beginning she says you are independent of people's opinion, like opinions of you, good or bad. But it's like, I don't want to be independent of the good opinions because I'm like, you're so right. But it's just, it's not sustainable. They don't know you. I once was told by like some producer or some shit. He was like, the people that love you and the people who hate you are actually kind of,

like they don't know you. And you can't take in the love or the hate. It really, that's so true. Like they're the same in different ways. Like you have to kind of like they don't know you and you can't take in the love or the hate it really that's so true like they're the same in different ways like you have to kind of take everything like that and it's hard because i'll read a comment like you know what i mean like cancel episode was the best ever this is the best ever and i'm like you're the best i went in oscar and then i and then i read another comment that's like you should die and then it's like should i because then if i hold the other one to that way i'm gonna hold the bad thing to that way yeah see that's that's the problem it's like how do you care about one side and not the other exactly but it's just so and at the end

of the day with content it is fun if you guys sat up here and just like what do people want to hear you don't have a successful pod it's what you want to say and what you want to do and that's what makes you authentic to you and i i like let if i read comments and shit and like let them affect me like that like i will notice it in like the ways that it manifests in my personality like i will just notice like the things that i'm now catering to yes mentally like i say it affects your creativity 100 the second you start being like oh people are gonna think i'm too gay or awkward or whatever yeah or i'm annoying you you stop being yourself absolutely and if you're not getting hate on your podcast that means no one listens to your podcast yeah i

love it yeah i've always i do have a hard like still though i'll read a comment that's like oh she always talks over tana and then and then the next episode i'm sitting there the whole time like and the people are like she literally doesn't talk enough like it's yeah and you'll just never win i just can't if i don't talk over you it means i'm not listening well i i if you say something and i wait four seconds that means means bitch is spacing out. Absolutely. Like the ADHD brain. Exactly right. That's my favorite thing you've said so far. The brain is everything to me.

Like I'm going to forget. I'm going to forget my thought if I don't say it the second that it comes to me. But it is interesting. LA does have a certain culture where like you see what like an ideal success is and you want to be like, oh, I want the surgery to look exactly like that girl

or I want the personality. I want the voice. I want to be like oh i want the surgery to look exactly like that girl or i want the personality i want the voice i want to sound just like kim k and so many girls are becoming just little like carbon copies carbon copies that are like mcmansions like they're like and it's just less than the original and it's like why don't you be that girl that other girls are like fuck i want to be unique like that yeah i know i like say that and i agree with that but then catch me at the med spa. Like, I need a lip flip. Well, the med spas are like Starbucks here. Dude, it is so, they really are like Starbucks here.

Do your friends tell you like, yo, you went a little too hard with the Botox? Because you could get lost in the sauce. I've been so lost in the sauce. We got in a fight recently. I was like, your lip flip looks so fucking stupid. I'm so bad at talking honestly. Literally. But you need a friend friend because you know if you do a little like this piggy i looked like first of all you look great now i feel like both of us well we dissolved a lot but yeah oh yeah

is everyone dissolving in la i dissolved almost like i was going real crazy with it if you like look back at like the beginning of canceled podcast i'll see those and i'm like who if my upper lip didn't touch my nose like for years i had like a serious issue and then one day i was like you know your side profile exists right and they're out to here and it's not fucking cute you're not looking yeah like you know what i mean like yeah like like okay it's up to here but it's also out to fucking here bitch like yeah but like i know and i've kissed girls with like hella lip filler and without hella lip filler. And I actually remember the first time I hooked up with a girl with lip filler and she had like a lot and it was like hard in my head.

I was like, damn, this is this is what I've been giving for like years in like in like a way. It was still good. Like no shade. I'm just saying it's like for some reason. Tell me Ozempic just hit New York. Did it just hit New York? It just hit New York. And the girl, everyone's like freaking york and the girl everyone's like

freaking out yeah because everyone's like she on it she on it that's i'm like reddit knows reddit knows everyone who's on ozempic it's they really do so it's been in la for like a long time i think it's been in la for like products almost like a year now though like well kim k did the she definitely did it for the mat. She had to have it. For the Marilyn dress. She did run on the treadmill a lot, she said. And then, I mean, you know, but it's weird because LA's so weird and dark like that, that even like, I just hit 75 hearts, so I'm like looking healthier and shit, like feeling

healthier. And every person I see, it's like, oh my God, are you on Ozempic? Like, that's the same thing as just saying like are you losing weight really fast which is the same thing as just saying like let's all get eating disorders like it's crazy that that's like it also sucks that like you put 75 days in of like taking care of yourself and someone's like did you just and honestly should it is i had that too i went through a bad breakup like a really bad breakup lost like a bunch of weight and everyone's like ozempic i'm like i did this the old-fashioned way getting cheated on yeah it's insane like literally it's

it's easier than you think i lost myself i couldn't find myself for months and now and it sucks too because everyone's like you look god i had no idea you look amazing and i'm like well great i can never gain a pound again because that's the worst about the city like the the you look amazing of it all you've Like I like it but it's like Not so much though no it just makes Me think of a person so differently because I would never walk up to someone and say you

Lost so much weight so whenever someone like says some shit Like that to me I'm like yeah say someone Looks good like oh you look great not Oh my god have you the balls Like the balls to walk up to someone and say You've lost weight to me is absolutely. No. On TikTok for a second.

The searches for my name were all like, let's go field fat. Brooks, go field weight. Brooks, go field. Oh, is that before and after?

I will. Guys, I'm like, what if I want to eat again? Yeah. Like, no, you're so right.

Just like, you look really good. Yeah. And let them take it how they want. Cause like, you want to compliment the person, but you don't want to be like, Oh my God, you were so fat three months ago and now you're like not because

that's what you're literally saying i'm not kidding no someone will say that they'll be like god wait i thought you were fat that's all that is also just such a big thing about la to all the like stuck up people who just will straight up be like you look so bad like four minutes ago and like people like it's there's such a category of people in la who like that's how they mean well like they think that that is like well status is only like if you look like the beauty standard. Yeah. Which is so annoying because you know the men are not like really dealing with this as much.

In fact I think that they have the opposite where I mean for me anyway I like it like I'm a fat hairy man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I don't know. I don't know.

I feel like I have now become so camp for guys and i think we're getting there a little more societally with girls but it's like ugly hot is really a fucking thing for men like the women you're still just getting called ugly you know i guess that's why i wanted to be with like hot dudes to be like i can be ugly hot i'll sit here i'm not shaving my legs and like ever and you're gonna fuck me ever and i because i don't like the fact that like even stand up before a show like i have to wake up and for my nap and i love it's like four p.m curl my hair i gotta put my makeup on during that time the men aren't doing that the men stand-ups are working on their their bits and shit makes me so so it's like this this world that we're competing the same in except i have to do like a

lot more or i post a stand-up in all the comments are about my outfit when it's like let's be honest i did not know what i was gonna wear i was late to my set i pulled some shit which is just ridiculous i thought the outfit was fine no one's happy about the outfit now no one's commenting about other guys outfits yeah like literally they look like a school shooter seriously every time every time and we eat it up which comic are you fucking oh that's how you after what's his name rhyme with we can bleep it well there's a couple no not there's a couple oh my god well the comedy scene too it's like kind of easy to get

it's very small so once you like i know well that's we so i had we had an issue this we had to cut it out of the last episode maybe we should just tell her after i was accidentally seeing like three at the same time and i'm not kidding they were all so related to like one of them opened for the other one at a show we went to we were like this is messy like no it's bad when you hyper fixate on like a type of like job in a man yeah because it's not like musicians like there's like five and they're singing different guys i think no the con and the comics are all so close because they've been doing it for 10 years together they're

like co-workers yeah yeah so i have their own bands yeah absolutely that's so funny hyper fixating on like career i do that no i did i need a dentist i need a fucking dentist No I weirdly Do the fuck out of that Like literally Like last year It was like He has to do real estate Like why And then you also

Like learn about it From one guy So then the next guy You're like Oh yeah the mortgages Yeah I know about that Oh my god And you feel so

So cool I feel like I remember like The mortgages Because I was so annoyed Like That is literally My favorite thing

The only thing I know Mortgage It's the only thing I could think of when i thought of houses i need to pick a new one like i need to pick a rogue one like race car drivers what are your types wait i'm going to formula one um yeah in monaco literally next week wow i forgot to tell you you're getting flewed out left and right brooke flewed out you know i've never been flown out by a man anywhere that's a flex it is a flex

i'm a whore so obviously you know how do you get flown out what do you do you just like post bikini pics like actually i think that's the order of operation when i show up looking like the pillsbury dough boy and not like kim k like just mind your fucking business seriously so you get flown out because guys slide into your dms they're just like yo do you want to like suck my dick in monaco well that's the thing is like first of all that's not the trip i'm going on I'm not going to put that on you she was Like i never said that you never like

You said that i literally never i like It to be very no expectations like if i Feel like they're trying to fly me out To fuck me which you can kind of like Sense then i'm not gonna do it but if It's like oh you have a crush on me and You want to fuck me i'll let you fly me Out and then just like the whole time

How often are you like kind of into the guy who flows you out absolutely never yeah no we can't get the the tense right for flown out i'm like we have a reoccurring character we talk about all the time who literally pays for tana's flights yachts everything all the time and and like he literally doesn't watch anything like just like loves me and wants to be around me I seriously have to stop But do you like Do you do it for the photo?

No it's like It's like bless his heart You know what I mean? Like he means so well And I'll be at home But like why do you go? I mean doesn't Italy sound beautiful? Yeah

Like Yeah And like we He has a lot of mutual friends That are my friends So it'll be like a big trip With all my friends And then he's there

And it's like You don't think one day he's gonna hit you up and be like do you remember all the things i've done for you no no and that's that's why it's like actually sad because his heart is just like literally so pure so i've decided to like write off actually saying anything awful ever again okay we love you abiza this summer can't wait after abiza after abiza and i never get to go and i'm the only one who's nice to him because he doesn't like that i think yeah I almost think he likes me because I stress him out like that caliber of men who like almost enjoy like oh is she gonna miss her flight like they like the excitement have like those kinks where they want you to be like me to them because

I think some men want to like daddy like oh you just like you can't ever make your flight baby like I'll change it for you like it's okay and then i'm like yeah daddy i'm so dumb you're just fucking someone else during the time wait so with these like famous dudes that you fuck because like i think every girl should fuck famous dudes to learn how sick they are like they're not it's like it's like ill like mentally yes okay no not no like famous people have serious problems and it's not always like the kind of demons you want to deal with have you ever been with like a famous person who had really weird like kinks in bed we were actually just talking about this downstairs with just the state of my toes my hair girl was like i think it's so funny like how your toes look all

the time and every man you date is like foot worshiping you and sucking your toes and shit like just like at the dinner table like you know what i mean like they're eating like a chicken tender and then like my toe and it's like and they don't want you to pedicure no i just i'm not i think they probably do want her to pedicure but it's like you don't have to suck my toes you know like i'm not like suck my toes like it's always like they're gonna they're gonna put their feet in the water no pun that many people with a toe kink like i don't even i don't i don't know anyone with a toki and maybe it's the type of person i attract just like extreme mental illness so then the toking kind of goes like with it i wonder what

triggers a toe fetish like what happened in your childhood i don't know maybe just because it's like wrong like it goes along with all the dirty yeah it's wrong and it's dirty do you do toes on an only fan absolutely i want to get into so many toes would you ever make an only fan someone said i had a good arch that's all you need really no i'm oh my god it's because i have like 10 i have like i'm italian i have like hairy toes no i posted like a promo foot pic one time i'm literally so disgusting it was like hot cheetos in between my toes and I was like this will get them over to my only fans and I had so much toe hair like in my twitter zoom and I realized yeah I don't it's funny I there are comics comic girls who have only fans that's amazing because

they like they're starting off their career or they haven't been making money and then now they like are financially set yeah and can just do what they love which is comedy and get better the foot stuff I'm like that is something well it's just crazy like i could take the most tasteful nude like spider-man flexibility like my pussy's in my own mouth and it's a photograph and i would make less money than like my pinky toe like i swear to actually god like it's actually discouraging i really think you should get into it it's are you on no why i don't know i don't have a judge i am that she's not on when i'm not on i'm like what's wrong with you no i just don't i don't know my feet aren't like that

your feet are like that you had an only fans humiliated you had an only fans for like five minutes and one of the girls literally five minutes i'm not even kidding oh my god and one of the girls tell the story this is how traumatic it was for me i was with an only fans agency and there was a girl who was helping me run my account and i was apparently not providing enough foot content okay so she took it upon herself to post her own feet on my instagram on my only fans and send them around and get money for them but when i tell you these were the worst most grimy feet i've ever seen i was so traumatized i deleted my whole account because that's one thing if it's like a foot dupe like if it's like your foot but like better it was but it

was just such a different i've never even seen feet like this before i thought it was like and she wasn't like heads up i'm gonna post my feet no i logged in myself and saw it did they go i think that was your final shot you were like i can't do this it was are you kidding i was like i'm i'm deleting it absolutely whereas like you know me i'd bring in whatever no i still have nightmares they aren't only my feet sort of gone well maybe i feel like i'm learning i'm kind of an la girly now i'm learning so much you know i've never gone botox and i don't mean it like i'm i'm like i'm not like other girls no like i just i'm not kidding i froze the shit out of my face the other day if you notice only

one of my eyebrows lifts i want you to tell me someone died and i want to look at him like no and nothing moves i'm serious if i even if i can even emote like remotely like something's wrong oh my god am i doing it like people always make fun of my crying face because my crying face very much you don't know if you're laughing or crying that's what happened to me last episode wait that's amazing because i love new york versus la stuff because new york the girls it's always about like looking like you look so good looking like you've worn no makeup yeah yeah's so is and when i go to new york i feel like a hooker the girls are like but they're wearing tons of makeup but they make it look

like they're not wearing any makeup and then it's all like so subtle like all the work that's being done they pretend that it's and it's more like i'm just working like i'm just working hard working a lot yeah and but they'll pressure you like oh you're not getting stuff done are you judgy we're la girls i feel like it's not judgy and I'm melting in a landfill one day out here. That's true. New York is kind of like, like that. I've never thought about that.

And even like makeup artists, when you go to LA, like they, they beat that face up. Like the New York girls are like Haley Bieber. They're like, Oh my God. Literally the New York girls are like,

here's your liquid. I'm like, how I want to be like that. So bad. But I will never rub your eyes from the night before. And we'll smoke it out. Like, no,

I need you to do surgery. Like I need you to do whatever my nose job doctor couldn't do the first time around right here and turtles are dying just from the plastic intense face so many turtles so many fucking turtles i'm like and it works i love it it works every time i could never go back are you afraid of yeah well you can't can you not go back well you can but it's like people people always say like you don't even need that not go back? Well, you can, but it's like people always say, like, you don't even need that. You're so beautiful. I'm like, because I have it. Like, literally, because if you saw me before, you'd be like, okay, good. My lips before were like just someone took a fine tip Sharpie

and drew, like, two lines. I had a little beak. I'm not kidding. I had, like, a little bird lip. A little beak is crazy. Did you guys do Fox Eye? No. No.

What's the tea with Fox Eye? So people do these things Called PDO threads out here That is I couldn't tell you The second president But asked me a damn thing About

John Adams Where they put these Threads These metal threads Like in Like into your face Like right here And then they like

Put them up to here Yeah But then the threads dissolve So over time You see people And their eyes are like Sagging in Because think about it

They're stretched like this At in because think about it. They're stretched like this at all times. Like when it goes back down. Yeah. There's like a little more right there. So then they say like that's why Bella Hadid disappeared for like three months. Because you have to eventually like if you want to commit to that bit of the whole like eye up. Like if you want to commit to the whole PD, eventually you have to stop doing the threads and go get the surgery where they straight up like slice into your skull. And they pull it out.

Stitch it back. And I guess you guys. Which I want. you love your lips so you're like i don't have to worry about if i ever took it out what they look like because yeah they're always gonna be i think i put in so much that they'll never well that's what happens so like i we've i don't i'm sure it's happening to you too but we've gotten it for so long that like when it does dissolve they're still bigger because they're stretched yeah and god keep them stretched seriously i'm sorry but like lip filler changed my life like it i and i mean that i really do and i hate to say it as like a fake girl but it's just and it sucks because it's like pretty privileged

you're being the least fake you could be that's really nice it's fake when people are like my lip just like i had an allergic reaction just stayed one day no we'd be saying it i got like like imagine that's my whole new bit just telling people i had an allergic reaction and everything just stayed one day and just like run that home i'm gonna start telling men that men are so stupid you know it would work oh my god yeah like i've never had that because you have a fucking massive following and girls with massive followings like you are literally lying their fucking tits off online being like i just like woke up this way it's absolutely because you see their faces and you know oh and i know i don't understand why people are so embarrassed by it i guess they just want to feel better than

people and be like oh your mom didn't pop you out like this yeah which is just wild it is such a like huge thing about but if it gives you confidence like you're saying with your lip like yeah like literally just i that's how i've always felt like just do it who gives a fuck who like whatever like ass injections. I was the first one being like, listen, I didn't I wasn't trying to look like Hank Hill. I literally got half my arms taken off straight up. And then I was at her birthday the next day. I love my father on.

I love that you've never had Botox. You've never done anything. You're so naturally stunning. Oh, my God. It is the same. Thank you. But I also I was that bitch that was like, don't get plastic surgery. Like, make sure you think like within first, like talk to a therapist first.

I should have thought within for a couple of days. But I think there's an in between because sometimes I feel like people think that it'll solve other problems. Getting something done, it doesn't. And then they just keep doing more and more. And then you lose yourself. Yeah. So there's a thin line of an in between. But also, I believe if you are not in L.A. with the access and the people around you, it's more like you're just in your culture right now. Yeah, exactly. Like I can go down the street and like if you guys were my besties every day, we would

be getting it done together. Absolutely. But like I didn't. It's just people in New York are like doing on the low. Yeah, that's so true. It's not like as of just like a fun. Like we could go get a coffee and Botox today. Like and that's just like we probably will. Literally, it's like like as of just like a fun like we could go get a coffee and botox today like and that's just like and we probably will literally it's like a normal thing you know what my friend page and i we've never gotten botox but we're like when we do it we have to do together

and we have to like film it and make it like a thing we're we're treating it like it's like i'll take you surgery we should go with you guys we go to this place in glendale and it's like this armenian family and they are like our family at this point we call our mama nune and her sister lilia they're literally family to me like I love them more than anything well no they literally are like besties with Kim and shit like it's she'll like post up with Kim K and then she's with me the next day I'm like it's so weird but it's funny because it's like we go in through the back and they just like grab a random needle they're like sit down I'll do it like yeah you're not supposed to drink during it like it's like LA shit no you they would literally have a heart attack if they came with us it would be like yeah because it's

such an untraditional experience like you can still go out here and it's like you go in and you consult and like you read all about it and you really make a good decision like where we go it's like you're strapped down to like a torture table and they're like let me do what I want that will make you out like it's no mercy today i don't none like none they're like it heard good like they don't care at all and it's it's so funny you want the shots baby but lay down where are you from originally las vegas which is a lot of white trash so the the white and you can like you know you could try to take the girl out of it but like i'm still gonna be ugg boots man spread you guys come to my show i have of it, but like I'm still going to be Ugg boots man spread. Can you guys come to my show?

I have a show at the Wynn. I'm banned from the Wynn for life. She is banned for life, but I will be there. What did you do? She's been banned twice. I got banned. She got unbanned. She had literally had to call like Mr. Wynn himself,

get unbanned and then got banned again literally the next time she went. And now they just, they have no mercy for me. I've told this story like so many times like so i'll just i'll sum it up very quickly but like point being like like i got banned the first time bunch of dumb shit i'd have my lawyers like write a letter like call mr win call in the la troops like zach bia like can you vouch for me like whole nine i get unbanned i go back two times i get reb-banned For more questionable activities And the head More questionable

The head of Wynn security Called me a criminal And a bozo And said She's in her bozo era A criminal bozo A bozo is hilarious Like both of those words

Are like weirdly painful Like you call me Like a dumb bitch But like criminal bozo Hurts Like it will never Not hurt me When I think about it

And like They just Like now it's like They just laugh about it They're like don't even try bitch like you're never coming back here and is it like when like there are like many properties that are oh my there's like yeah there's encore there's like wind properties all over the world like the wind had a huge like coachella party and everyone went and i was like oh my god palm springs i'm gonna go in the desert and like i can't do that horrible like and it's the best hotel in vegas by far well so i've never stayed i somehow it's like my first ever like stand-up performance in

a like legit club in vegas no and look at you you really like you went final boss mode without having to do all the scary things first like the win is like the nicest place you can go it's crazy well like i've been i've been doing the clubs i've been doing the clubs and i'm in this weird place where you go from clubs to theater. And then it's, like, theater to maybe one day, like, arena moment. Yeah. And then this. But stand-up's changing so much where now it's, like, do people even watch full-hour specials?

I do. I love just, like, I love just posting shit on TikTok. It's, like, my TV show. You're so good at it. You do a lot of, like, crowd work stuff, too. Yeah. Well, crowd work is so you don't burn material yeah so someone was just telling me about that it's like you can't really all your comedian boyfriends told you yeah you know date one

and you know all about you could be a comedian it's like me with the mortgage crowd work is so impressive to me because i think that some days i would be able to turn it on but there'd be certain days where i just like i'd be like I don't know how like you know do you ever have someone just give you an answer and you're like you just don't have a joke for it oh for sure the thing what I actually think jokes are so much harder than crowd work is crowd work like we're doing it all the time so there's only so many answers you get so you kind of know where to go with it yeah and also but you're right you have to be in a mood to deal with people because sometimes it's like, if they're blackout, that's hard. But with crowd work,

I have the microphone. I'm in control. I also think with crowd work, you always just say like what first comes to your head. So if they're giving me nothing, then it's like, well, you just wasted 30 seconds

of everyone's life. Thank you. Like, so I lean into that. Or like if I say something that isn't funny with crowd work, then I'm just like, oh, everyone got tight on anal. Cool. But sometimes with crowd work, the key,

you guys know my little tennis comedy protege? I love this so much. The key is sometimes you build tension through it not going anywhere. Once this guy was telling me he was in a relationship for nine years, and I was like, why haven't you proposed? And he was going nowhere a relationship for nine years and i was like why haven't you proposed and he was like going nowhere i just but it was like but i kept asking i'm like you have to wait like don't force it something will come yeah and finally he's like yeah like i don't have the money like you're so boring and i go okay girl what do you do for a living and she

goes i'm a wedding planner the place fucking erupted and i'm like thank god i didn't just like go off him and i like sat in it absolutely but like it takes time to get the confidence to sit in something to be like i'll get that would be so hard to read like oh well okay yeah never like god forbid you go for another two minutes yeah but you're dealing with people that you know what you're gonna get and sometimes they like try to be funny so then yeah i'm dying so i'm like so she just wakes up and was like oh how was your day babe because i was planning a fucking wedding yeah like that's insane that's dark i also i love you almost become like a psychic where i'll see like two people sitting and i'll know like how

long they've been together by how they're sitting because it's like what you do every night yeah so like you see when the guy's like this i'm like what two months oh my god and then you see like people like this and you're like oh it's been like you have kids no way or I'll see a guy and I'm like you're a lawyer like because you you just look at people and have to judge them that actually just happened at like a Theo show where he was like saying something to someone he was like I bet you're a painter and the guy was like I am a painter because he that man has seen so many people front row and how they look and like you just start calculating it in your head. I've never thought about that sincerely because in my head I was like, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Like, absolutely. For me, it's harder to like write like a really fucking badass quality bit. Yeah. When you like banter. How does your writing process go? Oh, my God. Great question. So I started honestly taking all of my tweets because I was like a tweeter.

OK. I take all my funny tweets and I'm like a tweeter. Okay. Same. All my funny tweets. And I'm like, that's a premise. That's a punchline. That's just like a tag on something. And I put it in categories. I'm like, this is about like dating.

This is about like food. This is about like astrology. Yeah. And then I kind of put it together. And then a lot of it is like less what you say, but how you make people feel. And like, I just try to make people feel like I'm at brunch with you. Yeah. And like.

You do that really well. Thank you. You do that really well. But like both of you guys are so funny. And a lot of people, you have a lot of natural comedic like talent. And it's just about wanting to. Materialize that. Materialize it.

And some people are like, I could never, I could never. I like public speaking, which is because i'm mentally ill same like i'm i'm more nervous if you like put me in a group of like five people and we're just sitting there i'd be like fuck what do i do literally so we're like if you just put me on stage i'm like i got this 100 because it's you can weirdly like disassociate i i do like i get that like you don't even know like i feel like it feels less personal i feel it's so not personal also i'm like i'm fucking trying to make people's day tonight. Like, I'm Mother Teresa. I'm the Michael Jordan. I'm a giver.

We're like, it's so much more complicated, like interpersonal talking. Absolutely. That's why a lot of comics, like offstage, you think they're like the shit. And then offstage, they're like, this is fucking weird. Absolutely. So weird. That's so many comics. Yeah.

So many of them are just socially inept. Yeah. But they're like incredible at talking about their own lives and processing their own shit, which can be, it's hard to just always be questioning like, how is this funny in my life? Yeah. But I also. Comedians have become like that weird category of people that I don't want to meet for that

reason. Because like, is the bit always on? Are you awful off camera? Like, it's more pressure. Like a musician is still going to be able to like sing the way that they sang on stage you know what i mean like often it's like fine and you can live in it and like whatever but like a comedian to me i'm like you can't crush my dreams like i think you're so funny on that stage and you come off the stage and i hate you like so many of them can be assholes and some of them are fucking incredible people yeah but also if you think about

even getting recognized when people recognize me and they see me they like sometimes i think they expect me to do like like make them laugh immediately or something and i'm like you know i just got off the plane i'm fucking i have my invisalign in and someone's like hey and you and you're just like hey i do you deal with that too i feel like i deal with that we're like i think that people expect when they meet me at all times that i'm supposed to be like this was so awful like railing a line of coke off my like own foot and screaming and like sucking dick and whatever and like sucking dick and whatever.

And like sometimes I'm just because I feel like actresses they respect like they're very like, oh, like you're busy. You have an art like, yeah, I don't know who you are. And that's OK. Yeah. But they're like monkey monkey move. Yeah. We're like a comic or like a reality TV person or a YouTuber.

They fucking know you. And they're like, don't act like you don't know. Right. Like if I'm sitting in the airport with like headphones in and just like chilling and someone's like, let's take a shot. And I'm like, it's 7 a. Right. Like if I'm sitting in the airport with like headphones in and just like chilling and someone's like, let's take a shot. And I'm like, it's 7 a.m. Like I'm okay. They're like, like I feel like I crushed their dreams.

You know what I mean? But I do feel like some YouTubers are so naturally funny and they're like similar to who they are. Yeah. Because they're just existing. 100 percent. Those are like the people I try to look for. Like I like just have so much.

I mean, I've always said like if you are a completely different person on camera and you found a way to monetize that like good for you as well like i don't i don't look down on it but i love the satisfactory feeling of someone being just like they are on camera is like it's also just easier like i don't want i don't want to have to like perform yeah no it's so tiring but i love meeting people to do podcasts because you're always like are they what i honestly you're both like so fucking cool in person because you could have been. So were you. Thank you. You're just tired.

You're exactly. I'm so dude, there's no one else. I would love like fucking get up at 10 a.m. where we normally podcast at like 10 p.m. Well, when they said because I was like, I'm only free in the morning when she was like 1045 a.m. I was like, I didn't see this for us, but I'll do it. And to be honest with you, like I woke up today and I was like 10 45 a.m i was like i didn't see this for us but i'll do it and to be honest with you like i woke up today and i was like i don't know because like i can't

turn on to like 4 p.m like i'm gonna watch this back and be like that would have been so much funnier if i woke up today in my own vomit i'm like what a horrible day for me to be on like what was your goal last night i went to i went to it's actually funny i went to nobu. It's actually funny. I went to Nobu. Like Mr. Nobu Matsuhisa had a tequila. Like the Nobu himself. Like Mr. Nobu. He was with Mr. Nguyen. Yes, he was. He was like, they were doing like a tequila launch or whatever.

But it's like there's so many founders and each one wants obviously for you to try each individual thing. So by the end of it, I had taken like 60 shots. So you were working. Oh, I was working. And I was networking, you know. One of the founders, he's like, what do you do? I'm like was networking you know um one of the founders he's like what do you do i'm like oh i have a podcast and he's like talking about he's like maybe i could come on i go oh well i mean mr nobu himself like in this house no no it was like one of the founders of the tequila but he's like i was like it's just kind of like a

like i was trying to describe like what the podcast is about he goes oh he's like oh so it's like like that daddy podcast i'm like yeah similar 10 minutes later he comes back and he goes i've been telling everyone about your sex podcast i go no i don't have a sex podcast honestly though we kind of have a fucking i know but like i'm mr no i don't want mr nobu to know i have a sex podcast right i'm like oh my god and he walks away he goes i gotta go do some damage control i'm like what no sushi's very sexual i was like oh no it was horrible what was mr nobu himself like he was exactly what you would expect him to be i don't i know i need to i need more he was just i mean he didn't say much to me as you can possibly imagine i like took a couple shots with him he's just walking around greeting everybody but i threw up at nobu malibu i'm like this is so distasteful knees on the floor

in the bathroom oh yeah honestly been there and i it's she's like if i had a nickel dead ass there's just there's something it's camp it was dehumanizing is what it was it's like the most like classy place in the world and i'm literally on girl in the stall next to you is just like you're amazing it's okay babe you're gonna be fine you're like holding her hand you're like well they're like the girl with the sex podcast is in there throwing up do you go to these things alone no i went i brought a friend but like it was nobody there was below the age of 40 like i really i was like where did this invite come from and it had to have been an accident like yeah i'm not kidding so now all these like like really established business people who are like 50 and above are like there's a girl

with their sex podcast and her tits out i was like see like in like five years that's your dating pool but you're like weirdly becoming so brand safe and i don't i don't know how like we have this podcast together but then you're like i have a dyson brand deal and then the owners nobody invited me to this and this and i'm like over here with my dildo. I was like, I think what it is, is like they invite me to things that they want to invite you to. But they know you wouldn't show up. I would absolutely show. No, no, no. They don't want me there.

I'm too much of a liability for them. 100%. Like I've just, you know, you've never had a failed convention. You've never had like a, like yet. Exactly. Brooke Khan coming soon. So you think a lot of brands don't fuck with you oh they don't 100 i know they don't but i've kind of known that from the jump like there was a point in my career

where i was like six months in and i was kind of like okay right now i could do my makeup routine forever and i will make so much money from like coca-cola and dove or i can keep talking about my pussy as a 16 year old yes Yes. And the sky's the limit. I just, in a way, I guess I felt like it, like my fans just wouldn't fuck with that. And I would rather have built this like authentic fan base who likes me for

me. And it's scary to just depend on brands liking you. Like that's an up and down. Yes. Cause then you have to hide so much. We do have a couple of friends who like Won't say or do Certain things online Yeah But they're rolling

In the goddamn dough Isn't that exhausting They're rolling in the dough I would be millions Multi millions Yeah but they can't drink On the internet Like that's the most

Fun part about it Absolutely Yeah Are you actually Demonetized on YouTube Super The cancelled podcast Isn't actually like

Thank god I found out like today Actually that the cancelled podcast Isn't I'm like new straight Right Let me know What's your wire info

but my my actual youtube channel like if i make four dollars on a video i'm like yes that's a mcchicken i'm not even kidding like one in every like 10 videos will get monetized i think because of the content on it yes but i think that you get to a certain point where even if the content is would be monetizable on another channel. They're like, we still don't trust you. Like, she meant something different. They don't want the risk of it rolling over to another video. Yeah, they're like, fuck you, Tam.

Like, you've had years to figure this out. I started YouTube, like, three months ago. Really? I'm new. I'm a new baby. I've just been posting my, like, TikToks and stuff on it, like, my stand-up. But I might eventually start vlogging. I just.

Please do. You have a background in video editing, too. I'm not kidding. I watch Burning In Hell all day long, me and my cat. I just feel like do. You have a background in video editing too. I'm not kidding. I watch Burning In Hell all day long. Me and my cat. I just feel like you're the type of person where it's like, I don't want to watch a vlogger because they're going to like the south of France and like, like, you know, I want to watch a vlogger because they're in Ralph's and they're as entertaining as they would

be in like Fiji. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like I could just watch you like do anything and it would be entertaining. So you'd be a good vlogger. Okay Okay all our heads are so big at the moment Oh we're all leaving here today on full God mode Narcissist Oh my god

No I literally at someone's podcast yesterday I said Ableach in tone and I was like I can't believe I'm talking to I literally love it I think I might have to do the house remix thing Why wouldn't you I really woke up one day and was like Okay this music thing cannot be for me I literally love that. I think I might have to do the house remix thing. Why wouldn't you? I just, I really woke up one day and was like, okay, this music thing cannot be for me.

Like, I don't even have to, just use the sound bit. It's just, I find it so embarrassing. No, I think you, you're not involved. You get someone to take your audio. But then I have to be somewhere one day in a club appearance and they're gonna have, like, I just started escaping Hefner. Like, we just did a club appearance where, like, I didn't have to hear, like, have Like I just started escaping Hefner Like we just did a club appearance Where like I didn't have to hear Like fuck on your bitch again Hefner Like I

Love that It's a banger dude Great song I would Thanks guys Musical expeditionary right here I would just be so sad To have to

Once again Like I go in a restaurant And then I'm hearing like A bleach and tone What if it's so fucking good I think I think it'd be funny What if you hear it at Coachella one day

I just god man I guess reach for the moon I feel like people really hurt you With the music stuff I feel like they hurt you I think it's just too I like have a respect for music I think that's the thing I don't have like a respect for anything else I do Whereas like I like good music And I can hear mine and recognize

You feel like you're hurting the music industry Yeah like I literally just feel like some people aren't meant to make music And I might be one of them as much as like I you know I don't know do you disagree with her I disagree with her I think I think you were born for it also having you're taking too you don't take anything seriously why are you suddenly being serious about music that should make it funny laugh at it like that shit is so funny and I guess I could do that for a long time and then now I was just like for some reason it's like a beautiful art like i can't maybe who knows you know what i mean if you see me rapping on a stage with like whoa vicky and like fucking whoever else next week honestly if it makes you happy do it if it doesn't don't that's

my three cents honestly yeah maybe i'm gonna hit up the studio one last time and try this like dj would be so good i'm gonna just tell diablo to do it and you're just gonna be surprised with it how funny would that be he just came upstairs like for your birthday oh your birthday's coming up that's not what i want like i have a list of so many things i want for my birthday other than that seriously guys like oh my god i'll send it over but fuck boring can i double check the time yeah no yeah perfect time we're on perfect time we're on perfect time i we really wanted to make this like season of cancelled less like because i feel like the first season we really tried to like have people on and like interview them you know what i mean like like we had like a mike malek episode where we sat down with him we're like so tell us about you

doing heroin and i look back at that episode and it's like very on brand like for us and i like and it was beautiful and all about mental health and whatever but like i look back at that and i don't necessarily feel like that's our niche i wish we just like shot the shit no pun intended shot shoot up here with mike instead of that was good instead of like you know what i mean and this is exactly what we wanted though just to have someone on that like we feel like we're friends with through tiktok and just have like a funny combo And like It's an honor

That you were the first person To do that with And just do it so well No you're gonna make me cry I feel like we all manifested this And like I already fucked With both of you online But I would never think

To like message you or anything So when you messaged me I was like You messaged me separately And then I was like Well it was my dream She Like

I'm not kidding We started talking about guests I think you were the first person i thought of because we hyper fixate on people that we feel like would be like our besties you know what i mean like we like we saw you and we're like i know we'd get along with her that is crazy whereas it's like barack obama could be a guest i think we'd be less excited like we want the people that just like the girlies love so hot but no i feel like i've known you guys forever and like you guys putting me on means the world to me because I'm now an LA girly

you are I was literally just gonna say we're like already so I've known you forever girl you're my best friend we're gonna have you back and she's gonna have like the full

she's gonna come back frozen fucking face divorced her man like whole ozempic shooting up in the fucking thing and thank God

and thank God on God guys on God. Check out everything Hannah, please. She is. You won't be disappointed. Thank you, baby. I love you.

We love you. Wow, that was fun. That was so fun. Wow. No, seriously.