Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 39: Sofia Franklyn on her fallout with Alex Cooper Ep. 39

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

On this episode of Cancelled we have Sofia with an F on. They discuss Tana accidentally throwing shade at her via twitter. They go over their sex lives and where they fall on a kink scale and toxic relationships. They discuss how she met Alex Cooper and how Call Her Daddy came to be and much more! Adamandeve.com Odder is 50% off almost any item + FREE SHIPPING + RUSH PROCESSING Code is TANA Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge then mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming ontario hello and welcome back to the cancelled podcast we have sophia with an f we're so excited today we have an angel an icon a girl who's not afraid to say what's on her mind miss sophia with an f thank you so much for having me if anyone was wondering even though everyone knows because you film your house all the time you guys are rich oh I don't live here they already know that's not true over here if we live together one of us would be dead so the money wouldn't matter at all um no thank you that's really nice

I appreciate no no I'm like sorry look at the view like yes yes life changing I say yes yes yes yes no I thank you I do appreciate it honestly I'm so happy that you're here and I feel like you and I have like have you guys ever met either no no have we ever met like in passing at all I don't think so it's good because I feel like I know you. Completely agree. And everyone gets on me about this. I'll meet someone one time and I'm like, they're my best friend forever. Literally, I would die for them. Tana, you just met them.

Not like that, but I just have seen so much content of you. We had our infamous, you know, what was it? Like six years ago, whenever Tana did not go on Call Her Daddy. You almost killed me. Mm-hmm. You, I think you tweeted When you went on there And you tweeted

Sophia with an F Is shaking right now Or something You should not Give a girl Xanax And a Twitter platform Wait when

When was this Like when I went on Call her daddy I tweeted Sophia with an F Is shaking Yeah Okay

Kind of funny No but it was never that I didn't want to go on yours it was more so just I was more so making a joke like I'm now going on with one of the hosts I still owe the other one right something which is canceled in my house and way less good but yes I'm so sorry for not going on call her daddy I the first not Actually I wasn't That upset Cause literally Everyone

Was like on the bandwagon Being like Thanks Sophia Like let's fucking go Oh Like oh Deanna's like Wait I had no idea

I didn't She sent a hate campaign That was definitely Not my intention At the time That's how you know She loves you She did it to me once as well

I was never doing that In like a hater way I just thought it was funny but that's That sucks Can we talk about that sorry I love it You're like that sucks like let's talk About it no that's so nice of you to come on here Now though after that and bring gifts and everything

Well and I just don't want you to ever Think that was like in a negative way because I've Never wanted to try to like fuel a fucking hate Campaign especially on like a girl I don't Know if I know you and you did some shit that's one thing shit okay truth be told i completely forgot about that because that would have been what five years ago and then when i told my team like i was gonna do this podcast canceled they were like no no Someone from my team was like do you Remember when Tana tweeted that thing

About you like literally as we were Driving up and I'm like oh yeah I do Remember no hard feeling it's well I'm I'm really happy definitely and honestly If you were mad at all I would Completely understand and hold that L But also I hope you know at the time I Know it wasn't like a deep Thing it was just me having me having

Twitter from 2019 to 2021 was such a Fucking like it it should have been like Federally mandated like that girl doesn't Need it like there was not a thought Behind those eyes and that instant Access to just writing anything I was so Dramatic and insane it was like it was Like a Amanda Bynes Britney Spears like you someone

Should have put you under a conservator Absolutely I'm surprised I didn't have Like a dermal piercing and like sorry That was me and Amanda didn't do anything She's doing better now is she hopefully I think she admitted herself that's good That's great yeah congratulations Amanda I love this mental health podcast me too

It really is and kind of you came out of it right it came out of my opinion well she's rebranding she's doing his Sophia Richie Grange I'm trying I'm trying to name my Sophia do you love that song wait what what song is you know like what like Sophia's wedding like when she's walking in the aisle The guy's like Sophie Well you know the original song It's like Georgia

But then they switched it to Sophia No But that will be the song I walk down the aisle to now Absolutely That I hear You just told me She really did you a favor

It's a big deal A lot of money And her name is Sophia the Neff Right? It is I think it is spelled Oh my god

I hope she doesn't start a podcast I hope so too I'll be done Sophia the knife right it is I think it is spelled oh my god hope she doesn't start a podcast I hope so too I'll be done the difference I'll be fucking done I feel like she would be fun like I feel like she could hang do you think she'd come on canceled Sophia Richie Grange I would absolutely not but I bet she can hang I bet she gets like fucked up on the low for sure for sure I hope do you know who always tells me that you and me would be best friends if we spent Absolutely not But I bet she can hang I bet she gets like Fucked up on the low For sure For sure I hope Do you know who always

Tells me that you and me Would be best friends If we spent 24 hours together Who? Mike Malak Thank you Thank you I fucking love Mike

And I'll see Like your guys' YouTube And I'm like This is my bitch This is for sure And Mike's actually Never been wrong I'll say that Like he'll always tell me before I'm with someone

He'll be like you're gonna fucking hate this bitch Or you're gonna love her and she's gonna be your best friend And every time it's very valid Really? Yeah so it's funny But you guys have like a little Like what's the tea? A little what Tana? Did you have a fling?

I was gonna say the word history Well history is just so deep. You know, history is like, you know... Right. So Mike and I have never hooked up. Really? No, not even made out. Oh, wow.

Yet. I'm not opposed. Okay. But what is Mike after? Like, I really want to know. Nothing good. You're like, bitch, you don't want to know. Nothing good.

I never... Honestly, I never I honestly I never have No I actually Made out with him One time by accident How was it But I tripped and fell

Like I actually I tripped and fell You know what I mean Oh like when you Made out with him No just into doing that No no no Like it was just

Like an accident But then once your lips Touched each other I don't know You don't remember I was at the box In New York City Which is a very famous

Sex club Incredible And sex is such An understatement For those that don't Know the box is People like City Which is a very famous Sex club And sex is such An understatement For those that don't know The box is People like shit In a box on stage

People like shit On the stages And have sex on the stage And like piss all over Each other But it's like a show It's like Cirque du Soleil For people

It's so hot It's with like weird Kinks Yeah Yeah whatever And I made out With like seven Of my friends last night

That night And that just happened To be one of them And I don't know Would you tell me he's like Good like a good kisser or no Sincerely have no idea but I Feel like if I had to take in from like

Just him as a person you would hope He was good at fucking by now after Lana Rhodes like hello Everyone else Experience in general all of LA Like me talking about Fucking all of LA Like it's a concept I'm foreign to

I just saw a thing Where it was like If a guy has a high body count He's worse in bed Because nobody comes back Like It's like If you

The people who are really good And better Like guys who had girlfriends For a really long time Because it's like You have sex over and over And over again With the same person

Yes I agree with that Like you never have good sex With somebody the first time Ever No That is some Albert Einstein shit and also I stole it from someone else I think that's true for women too oh yeah because when you're in a relationship you're trying you're trying so much different

shit right yeah when you're having one night stand you're like oh my god like I'm gonna like tell him to hit it from the back and then i'm gonna like scream you know what i mean and it's your like base model that is actually so true you only get into the first time you only get into learning the weird shit like when you're in like deep into something yeah that's why all the whores have bad sex yeah you heard it here first so mike Mike. Probably. I don't know. It was not doing so hot. Although, I feel like if you have sex consistently with a porn star, that's like double. Like he's probably really great. Like if you fuck a porn star date one for six months.

Yes. That he's probably doing backflips. But I think Lana has said like, and I might just be completely making this up. So no one quote me, but that's this whole podcast. Like don't believe anything I say. You know, she likes vanilla sex. Yeah. Like she likes like, I do love you. Vanilla sex.

I do. I was I was editing one of our podcasts or like watching one of our podcast episodes the other day. And you were talking about how you like vanilla sex. And I had this whole existential crisis. I was like, should I like rework the inner workings of my mind and like learn to like vanilla sex? Well, what do you think? What do you think happened to you along the way? No, no, like, rework the inner workings of my mind and, like, learn to like vanilla sex? Well, what do you think?

What do you think happened to you along the way? No, no, no, no. I don't even mean that to be like. But what do you think, like, switched it? Like, when did you start all of a sudden being like, I want him to hit me? My actual first long term relationship. The first time I was ever long term. Like, I just.

Maybe it's just your thing. I'm not going to kink shame you. You're like when did you start hating yourself no i'm sure i'll get there like i feel like i'm sure i'm hating myself i think maybe it was just lack of like a father like off rip i i was just thank you you know do you have that in common vanilla or are you like more of a like backflips type i mean a backflip i mean like like like like i mean like i must really be into vanilla because i don't think i've ever done a backflip but what's like vanilla missionary yeah like missionary like we act like

we love each other oh you can act like you love each other with a little spit poke If you say I love you babe Sorry TW Gluck Sorry TW You're like I mean if they say I love you in between like slapping you Choking you like is that vanilla No And maybe that says a lot about me because my happiest

Relationships are like I love you but then like Like toxic dark too so maybe it Like comes to fruition sexually as well yeah are you do you like do you like toxic relationships uh do I like them like what do you find yourself in them often so I would say the past couple of relationships I was in were toxic yeah only because the one before that was so healthy and so great so I like I had to do a 180 I was like I'm bored this is stupid yeah and then it forced me into a toxic relationship I do the opposite I like go so toxic that I like leave so scarred that I'm like I need a god-fearing man who wants to play

backgammon and then she's bored and the cycle continues what are you at what phase are you in right now actually that's trick question because what are you doing tonight I'm actually in my super super I'm I don't know where I am like anything I was just about to spew conscious life for no reason um I've been pretty healthy lately. I really have only been talking to like one person. I've been pretty good. Like one person? Well, the one person is my ex. But then tonight I'm hanging out with my other ex.

But as friends. Wait, who's the first ex? We'll bleep it. No, we'll just keep it all. We'll keep it all right and tight. We won't say any of it. But tonight I'm hanging out with my toxic ex and friends as a group. So does that mean you won't be hooking up with the ex?

No. It's like a total friend thing. I want it to be that. I don't know yet because we haven't hung out, like whatever. But yes, like I told him on the phone yesterday, the equivalent of hooking up with you again in my eyes, in the, I don't mean to shame any former heroin addicts by saying this, but I mean the equivalent of it in my life is like relapsing on heroin.

It's like hooking up with you again. I agree with that. Like we have to be friends. Because it is true. It's like, what are you going to do? Just one more time. Like it never works out that way. Never.

But you hung out with your ex last night right tell us about it okay so it wasn't last night well she was like it was this actually it was like the last few nights honestly we have been broken up for i don't know two three months and i was doing so fucking well like i was killing. It's perfect that you came here after that. It's a bad downward spiral. I literally, like I think I'm going to stay in LA or maybe go to Utah

where my whole family lives for a month. Yeah. Because if I am physically back in New York around this person. Oh, so he's in New York. Mm-hmm. Okay. If I'm back physically around him, him it's gonna be off to the races

yeah it's always how it goes it's i just and is he toxic like it was a toxic relationship or it wasn't so it was toxic in the sense that he he didn't cheat because i've been in toxic right yeah like i've been with the dude that's like bit like babe you're fucking crazy and then I find out like he was fucking that girl like I've been in absolutely this was more toxic like I'm gonna call you 50 times a day oh I would love that yes okay I would love that like perfect you're like I don't hear the toxic I don't hear anything wrong with that at all maybe I'm the problem but so you you're into that if it's like toxic I don't hear anything wrong with that at all Maybe I'm the problem So you're into that If it's like 50 calls

I want to know somebody's obsessed with me I want to hope that they're obsessed with me Has it ever gotten Like has it ever teetered the line where you're like Maybe this isn't good for us Um No I don't think I've ever had one

I weirdly think at least in my life i cannot find a middle ground i'm either with someone where we have one to two calls a day we text very normally we hang out a couple times a week like we're dating it's normal it's so healthy or it's like 50 000 calls i'm tracking your every move i'm killing myself because you're gone because i think you're doing something sus like it's yeah I am like one plane or the other like I would love a middle ground like I want to know you're obsessed with me but it's like a healthy level of communication normal like we said this I think on another episode but like a normal relationship is like you start dating slowly you talk to each other maybe once a day or whatever in the beginning and you start

like progressively getting more like into each other but it's like i've only been in love bombing like extreme like super fast situations and i'm like that makes perfect sense to me but me too yeah so then it's like why would he not call me 50 times a day like he has the time so why would he not after getting love bombed so many times i eventually like now i do get the ick by it though well you know you know how it ends now yeah and in my head I'm very much like this is fake like oh look you're in love with me after a year or two times this means nothing to you like you're you know but it's like I feel that way too I'm like I actually like him this much so he must like me that much can I tell you something can I tell you something very very quickly yes I woke up today and the. You're pregnant. Well, that would be the best case.

I would love that. No, I took DayQuil. Like, I didn't really feel good. Like, and I don't think I'm sick. Like, again, not contagious. Everyone's fine. Seriously. I just.

You know, neither of us have our voices right now. I've never had a voice. Oh, you never have. So I'm stoked for yours to come back. But mine will be like this. Okay. But I took a DayQuil. And DayQuil often makes me, like, shit myself and throw up and whatever.

And so I was hitting, like, the throw, throw up like earlier today, like not OK. Still not OK. And like probably most podcasts, I would have asked to move. And I was like, if I come full circle six years later and bail on Sophia right now, it would have been that bitch is going to show up to my house with a gun. OK, no, this is the thing oh actually that's really funny because you did bail like five years ago or whatever right on color daddy yes yeah and then what last time I was in LA but like you guys know last time we were just trying to make it happen and we'd like we couldn't come

come together on a date by the way I'm the queen of doing that shit. And I really, really want to stop doing that. Where was this energy six years ago? Where was this energy tonight? Because I'm fucking clenching my asshole. No, so if I get up and have to go bubble over there, just know I did this for you. You have a replacement. Yeah.

My voodoo doll is here. Tiny Tana. Oh my god, I love that. Brooke keeps getting Reddit threads saying that she's mean to me. Everyone says I'm too mean to Tana. So now I have this Tana. If I feel like saying something mean, I can just talk to this one. Oh, you I love that. Brooke keeps getting a reddit thread Saying that she's like mean to me. Everyone says I'm too mean To Tana so now I have this Tana. She is. If I feel Like saying something mean I can just talk to this one Oh you talk to her. You're not like hurting

Well sometimes I stop her Yeah She's so cute and she's what matching me No but I think that's so interesting what you Just said about the love bombing Because if a dude Is not love bombing me to a certain Degree I'm like fuck this dude

me too because i'm like you can go a whole day without talking to me what is wrong with you because if that's the problem here right now that's scary excuse me let me let me rephrase love-bombing it was perfect the way you said it that made perfect sense to me And to be fair I also have my My sentences that would Right but I think love bombing has gotten Thrown around so fucking much Like gaslighting Yeah it's like that word we all just picked up on and ran away

Yes if a dude is only texting me Once a day What yeah no Bye Yeah I agree I need you to show Maybe it isn't love bombing I like Maybe I just like a guy who's

into me thank you every every single manipulative manipulative controlling dude they're like yes yes they said it perfectly god i know so you hung out with your ex several times in a row. Mm-hmm. And how did that go? And by hang out, I mean slept over. Maybe that happened. The sex is better, though. That's one thing that I'll just put up with. Better in this time around? No, just better with these type of men, with the obsessive, with the crazy. How did you know?

Just have a hunch, girl. No, wait wait is that like A characteristic I've always said That I think toxic narcissistic Men fuck ten times better than a healthy Man yeah and then there's the occasional Exception but there's still something there where I'm Like you're when you're hitting me your intent

Isn't as good as the men that are hitting me Who are insane and see There was my sentence that was way worse Than theirs There you go like because a toxic man spitting in your mouth and it's like oh you mean this shit you hate me and then like a healthy man spitting in your mouth and you're like you love your mom right it's not what they do it's not what they do it's the intent am i I right? Yeah. That sounds fucking horrible.

No, but yes. Dick game. Incredible. Do I love everything else about him? No. But he's not like that toxic. I'm literally sitting here coming up with excuses. As to justify. Are you like this on your own podcast where when you kind of sit down it's just very much stream of consciousness like i'll be saying something here and i'm like he's not that toxic but actually he is i'm like but then he's

really good but then like he hit me the other day so like i don't know like i just i go on this stream of consciousness where it's like and then i'm in the edit like trying to make it make sense like cut one minute and 34 seconds. Cause I lied completely. It makes no sense. I contradict myself every three minutes and 30 seconds. Yeah. Just boom, boom. Cause it really, cause you're thinking it through.

Okay. But here's the thing. So many people do love to listen to unfortunately what we all have to say. And maybe they shouldn't. And again, I've always said, uh, you've got to have no father to really love this podcast like i have a father i don't i'm kidding i'm just ashamed of me we we just like we attract we attract the feral girls you know who want to listen to what we have to say and stuff like that and i just i want to know like can i ask you some hard-hitting questions go and then if you don't

want them in I'll cut them but I just want to know go so you well I just really want to know the whole life story because I don't know you're like so you met I'll skip that but you met Alex how Barstool put you guys together no so I had met a girl in an Uber pool when I first been there. Was it Lila? I can't relate looking at her view. When I first moved to New York, I had no money. I was taking an Uber pool. I met this girl. And then I was looking for a new apartment and i needed roommates

right because i was living in a studio and it was alarming like mattress on the floor like terrifying i was like okay i want like a like a kitchen like maybe like a washer and dryer maybe i should live with people yeah so i can afford it so i told the girl i I'd met in the Uber pool that I was looking for an apartment. And she was like, no fucking way. I know a girl looking for an apartment. She put us in contact with each other, Alex and I. And the day that we met, we were looking for an apartment together. And we signed a lease.

The day you met? The day we met. That's the scary. I've done a lot of shit. You are reckless. I've done a lot of shit. That is to meet someone and sign a lease. It is crazy because there are so many people who I've known.

Most people, actually almost all people that I've known for like five years or more, I would not sign a lease with right now. So like to know somebody for a few hours Yeah you're desperate and it's like Yeah and you want better and you're willing to take the risk And sometimes things like that end amazing I feel like you should like a long time You don't know too but then it's like if you

Start becoming really close friends It's a little messy which I mean I don't Regret meeting her at all like I feel like it like It's a part of your journey yes 100% And so you guys signed a lease that day yes Okay but that is fucking crazy now that I'm like thinking back hi how are you Nice to meet you okay let's sign on the

Dotted line to your lease what's your Credit score yeah I think got me a Lease too yeah a two year two year lease Do like yeah that is I don't know they Had those but again high risk high Reward in certain ways they're like a High reward came out of that in a very different way yeah so true yes um so you Sign this lease then what happens then so the lease is with her and her childhood best friend Okay so the three of us live together I never met the childhood best friend I'm like you know

What I'm just I'm just having a tag along just like I'll just have a room hey bestie yeah and Alex and I just hit it off and it was like from that moment on we spend every day together we do everything together and you know the rest is history yeah well hold on no the rest no no hold on So were you guys just having conversations And you were like god this should be a podcast Or was it kind of like Barstool was looking for that What put you both in the position to ever start Call Her Daddy So

She was always Very into media And entertainment I think college she majored in actually i was about to like make some shit up film something like that yeah i was working at morgan stanley in finance that was not on my radar however sophia's gonna do my taxes this year i will you will get in trouble for tax evasion because i have no idea what the fuck I'm doing at all. I'd be like, she's good. What did you do the first time? Anyways.

So, that was not on my radar at all. But we just, we had so much fucking chemistry and I've always been extremely outspoken. Like, I grew up in Utah, which is very conservative and a lot of Mormons

live there. Yeah, and so to kind of come out of that being someone who like isn't afraid to say what they say and stuff like that. Yes, and I've been like that since middle school. Like, oh my God, like there was a middle school dance. I was like, oh my God, it's like we're having sex with our clothes on. Like I just remember I always would say crazy ass shit. Same.

We relate in that regard. Yes, yes. So I was a little bit crazy. I would talk about like, oh my God, DP is like all just wild shit. Yeah. That's the DP. Double penetration. Oh, anyways.

I'm sorry. I'm like director, producer. A Dr. Pepper. A day after pill. Yeah. No, double penetration. And then we went to South by Southwest. And I remember we were at a bar i remember this very

vividly and we were just like going back and forth and i was saying gnarly shit and whatever and all of these dudes at the bar were like oh my god this is fucking crazy and they were taking videos and she was like oh my god let's start a youtube So we did a few YouTube videos I would I would literally jump off that balcony If I saw them Oh my god entire first two and a half years Of my YouTube channel actually will haunt me Till the day I die I have nightmares all the time

Do you take them like have you taken them down But they live forever Yeah no I'm gonna be 80 and someone's Gonna come up to me and say he fucked me with a Toothbrush that's my favorite part of my day. Scrolling through my TikTok and seeing like an old Tana bleach and tone on her bedroom floor. It's my favorite. It's it'll never, you know.

Yeah. But I wouldn't change it because I accredit it all to, you know, a part of my journey. And and it resonates with so many people. You know, I might cringe watching fucking hairdresser from hell bleach and tone. But like that was a big part of my life. That my first video it was one of them it's the first one that's alive still and it's that iconic wow good job nice okay i've watched so much content what the what is it the hair wait no hold on we will get to me and my fucking journey 50 million times the canceled listeners don't want to hear this. I want this tea.

Okay. So you post a YouTube video with Alex Cooper, a couple. Yes. And then we had this dude approach us to start a podcast. And Alex was like, I don't even know what a podcast is. Which me, working at Morgan Stanley and wanting to die every single day, all I would do is listen to podcasts all day long. And I'm like, oh, girly, I know all about this. Let's fucking go.

So then we started the podcast with this company. That was like, it was a podcast network. It was run by just like a bunch of trust fund kids that had no idea what the fuck they were doing in New York. They had no clue. And that is the worst. Yeah. Yes. But I mean, love them. Like they, you in New York. They had no clue. And that is the worst. Yeah. Yes.

But, I mean, love them. Like, they, you know. Yeah. Part of the journey. Yes. And I think we were three episodes in, and we were posting it on social media. Barstool reaches out. And that's how it happened.

Amazing. And so, was it Dave Portnoy Personally that saw you guys And so Barstool reached out Yes but then Later I found out it was Erica Nardini who had told Dave these girls need to like They need to be the next female hire

And so then Sorry and again if you want to end this Conversation at any point literally tell me to Fuck off shut up kill myself whatever you need But so then you guys Start filming Call Her Daddy And you immediately sign a contract With Barstool yes

It was pretty immediate And then how long did that go for How long did you guys podcast together for Oh I would say Two years or a little Over two years At Barstool

And then basically the gist of the end Of the feud was like Barstool wanted to renew for like a price That like you felt like you were Valued at more And so she stayed you walked Yeah I mean that's a very like summed up version.

Yeah, very. There was so much that went into it. But basically, you know, we were getting paid a certain amount. And we knew that it was worth so much more. And we were having like a business disagreement. And I thought because we were such good friends like whatever this will pass over and like we'll come back together I think she had like different ideas and yeah was the business fallout the reason for your friendship fallout as well uh that's a really good question

i would say it was a little bit of a ticking time bomb i think that's what broke the camel's back um but i think you know where she wanted to go and where I wanted to go. Or different places. Yeah. Eventually it would have, it would have like blown up. Well, and I think you can, I mean, just generally speaking, you guys met the day you signed the lease. You can definitely rush into things with people and then realize you're different people and you both go on your own journeys and that's okay. Yes. You know. people and you both go on your own journeys and that's okay yes you know yeah but I mean we had

formed such a strong bond and like such a strong friendship I mean the podcast was two years but I think we were with each other for three almost four yeah which is a long time to spend with someone yeah every day right and I think and I've talked about this before, I think when it comes to girlfriends, I just like, I'm like, you're my sister. I trust you, you know, no matter what. I ride for you. When it comes to dudes, I'm like, you are a snake. I will never trust you.

Hate men, I've always said that. No matter what you do, like, you know. Yeah. So the whole breakup was like, it was hard for me. I think friendship breakups can often be 10 times harder than relationship breakups. They are harder. I get like, those are the worst heartbreaks I've ever had are like friendship breakups, I feel.

Remember ours? We've come so far. We have. We had a pretty bad one too. Yeah. One of the worst in my life. Yeah. Yeah.

But I'm happy. We're good now. I'm like. we're great now her voodoo doll if you she's like if you could go back in time and change the fate of the way that the og call her daddy ended would you no i think this sounds I'm sure everyone knows what I'm about to say. So cliche. Everything happens for a reason. I don't think that's cliche.

It was going to blow up eventually. I'm almost happy it happened earlier than farther down the road. Absolutely. And it gave me the opportunity to. I keep burping. i'm not like not listening is it the day quill it might be a day quill x white closet crazy combo as well like my stomach is like why i love how you're like the day quill is crazy i'm like i don't know i don't think it's quick subject change okay the other day page randomly asked me what is the one food you can

consistently like if you eat it you know you're going to like bubble like you know you're gonna shit yourself you know you're gonna be nauseous what is the one meal mine's not a meal but i'm not kidding the first time i tried bloom nutrition i'm this is not sponsored no one thought it was no one thought it was it's gonna look really bad because i actually am gonna deal with them literally right now and it's amazing i love it right now it's because you mixed it wrong it wasn't i like it does what it's supposed to do it's good for digestion damn I'm like, it does what it's supposed to do. It's good for digestion. Damn, I need to try it. Understatement of the year. When I tell you guys, I was literally hands on the wall, hands on the walls.

When you have to get fully butt naked, like you're sweating. I was like, I thought about calling 911. I know that I've been so severely constipated for the last nutrition. You heard it here. I take Miralax everywhere I go. I could be going on a two day trip and I'm like, put that bitch in my carry-on. Wait, Miralax? Is that to make you go poo?

Yeah, like, I haven't been pooping normal. Babe, that's why. Okay, but that's why you need to take a shit. It's not the day. Because you're taking a laxative. No, no, no, no, no. But the laxative only ever came into question because it was like, oh, it's been eight days, and I haven't shit.

Okay. Like, it's getting bad. There was, it's been eight days And I haven't shit Okay Like It's getting bad There was It's bad I take it everywhere In my sorority house We used to literally All just like

Hand them out Take them all At the same time And then we'd just Blow up that whole bathroom Oh that's a really bad disorder Like the day The day before a pool party

Don't do that I do not encourage that At all But like We did My grandma And my mom Are like addicted

To taking laxatives It's very It's so bad for you You guys understand That doesn't make you skinnier That's not My grandma and my mom Are like addicted To taking laxatives I'm very It's so bad for you You guys understand That doesn't make you skinnier That's not It does It's like a diuretic though

I think it makes you like Like temporarily like Sucked up Yeah for like two seconds Yeah like a lot of girls Like do it in LA So they look skinnier I'd never taken one

In my entire life Until the past like Two months Because I literally Just couldn't shit Yeah because she was You know what I mean And to be honest with you I remember The first time i took it was in cabo in february it was

the first time i'd ever taken miralax in my entire life it's not the first that should never be i know no but i'm saying like you should not try it for the first time in cabo but it was like i'm on the beach in a bikini and i look fucking seven months pregnant because i haven't fucking shit in 15 days everything's fair Everything hurts Should have just taken A sip of the Sink water And I remember

I almost did that this trip And I remember That I was like Damn this doesn't hit as hard As like everyone Like makes it out to be You're like I'm gonna take a Dayquil

Cause that shit is crazy Well yeah So it goes right through you Dayquil weirdly makes me bubble And Panera Bread Broccoli and Cheddar soup is a guarantee. Like, the other day I ate it, like, just to, like, really get shit shaken, you know? Okay.

What's yours? What's your guaranteed bubble food? Oh, that makes me have to go? Guaranteed. Indian food, one of my favorite types of food ever. Me too. Next day, usually have to go. It's a good bubble. Yeah. See, I'm not thinking next day. have to go it's a good bubble yeah see i'm not thinking next day i'm thinking like within the within you're just bubbling like it's a good shit i don't

i am saying that like it's like a common term it's like not a common term at all it's a lilac well the thing is here's the thing up until right now i'm 24 years old the past 23 years of my life i wake up every day um and as of the last like five years my routine is like i wake up i open my eyes it's 4 p.m sun is down that was a joke um i hit my vape i check my phone i go to the bathroom and i take a shit and i think that's good starting yes you're starting right did you say morning routine this is why I'll never be Alex Earl this bitch is getting online like this moisturizer is the top of my morning I'm like this shit is the top of my morning and as of recently it hasn't been a part of my day like it's like I'm not shitting as regularly as I should like really you need like active yeah or like but I don't

think I wake up and take a shit Oh I do I take one sip of a Celsius And it's go time And then you start your day Yeah I can't do anything if I haven't Really That's how I completely feel And then as of the last like six months

It's like that's not my journey anymore And it's throwing me off heavily So you guys have like your poops timed out oh yeah well my Work for so long but now I'm lost I'm so Lost and I'm not even Miralax I've also Been taking colace it's a stool Softener like oh you know you can do Damage like you can make it so that

They don't affect you anymore I'm not There yet it's still a new you just Told me you take it like oh well you're taking miralax and i've only taken miralax like six times across this journey and panera broccoli and cheddar girl you're putting like four things in your body a day but it's so funny too because it's like most people like normal things make them bubble like taco bell you know no not me i feel like if if you're adapted like i've i grew up eating so horribly that like if i eat like a full burrito bowl from chipotle like i'm fine i always say this if you grow up poor eating boof ass shit like it doesn't affect you people who are like oh taco bell makes me sick i'm like loser yeah entitled like how'd you grow up how'd you grow up just fuck did you grow up with money middle class and then had nothing for a second recession moment yes pretty common theme

but taco bell i grew up eating whatever the fuck i wanted right me too i did not have like parents i know i would that's my whole sentence that makes me feel so sad for people when people's parents like won't let them eat like junk food no but i swear to god those people like get obsessed with junk food no yeah and then they have so many more problems because it's like all of a sudden as soon as they do have the freedom to eat what they want they like go crazy and then they have so many more problems because it's like all of a sudden, as soon as they do have the freedom to eat what they want, they like go crazy. And then they have all these health issues where I am just running perfectly fine, like a well-oiled machine on Cheetos and literally chocolate. Thank you.

A hundred percent. There's science behind that. Weirdly, like kale would hurt my stomach more right now. No, 100 percent. If I had a salad right now, that's an instant bubble food. If we went vegan We would be blowing up the bathroom Absolutely

Paige was on a tangent today About how she thinks People in our life are Like Like mentally Like just bitchier And not as socially aware Because they're vegan

I think that's absolutely true I'd be pissed if I was vegan All the time Yeah My ex of like five years Was vegan Also my cousin that's staring at me right now is vegan look are you all of a sudden she's sata wait which one are you a french fry vegan are you like a real vegan you eat like good stuff like so you eat like soup okay

see that are you unhappy oh she's happy that no that's fire For me It's the bitches who Walk this earth like they are Presidential better than everyone And they're like I'm vegan and then all they eat is french fries Like yeah see that's my issue I don't eat enough vegetables For that to be workout

But is it an issue or is it good It's not an issue but it's like if I were a vegan I would have nothing to eat but Oreos. I totally understand that. I feel the same. I always tell people I was like I was vegan for like five months. All I was French fries and Oreos at all. And then I was on Twitter, too.

Like if you eat cheese, you're so wrong. Like the second I was done, we all watched like a documentary. If I shouldn't have had a Twitter,'s it That documentary Where you see what happens Like to make McDonald's chicken nuggets And then we all went vegan I watched Not that one

Not the weird one But super size me Shaped my life Oh that was a good one Did it But see I could eat A Big Mac a day And I feel like

I would be okay Oh my god I think I used to And now I can't Oh man I think it's cause You guys are young I swear to god That's why you guys are young I swear to God

That's why How old are you? I'm about to turn 31 Really? Yes Well you make it sound like you're like old What's the routine? Nothing

Are you one of those? No Dude I was just in Cabo with this girl And Are you one of those? I was just in Cabo with this girl And she's like In her 30s and she looks super amazing

you know we're like with her the whole time and i'm like first of all i don't know if you know this but one of the biggest scandals of my career was that's a lie but a big scandal of my career was people saying that i'm secretly 30 like that i'm lying about my age i had to post my id it was like on daily mail everywhere it was like tana mongeau's secretly 30 and honestly the the most hurtful thing about that is the fact like it was very believable to hundreds of thousands of people like like you're i'm i'm not like i just turned 24 that's fucking annoying whatever i realized that my maybe my aging process isn't gonna work honestly my parents genetics aren't looking good you know and i was asking this

girl i was like you're 31 you literally look younger than me like why and she was like i just i sleep in my makeup i think that i think that the people that i think the people that do use their face washes and use all this it's propaganda and it's like like all those products are what's making everyone look older and like blah blah blah i literally i eat so bad and i was like she has good Jeans and I'm like your genetics are Like skinny people who are like I just Put lemon in my water it's like no that's

Not why you're a six-pack at all exactly That's not why you look like you fucking Drink baby's blood it's because you're Fucking parents I had a skinny friend in High school who all the time she'd be Like well then don't eat that and it's Like she literally was built like an Avatar like so tiny so skinny and i'm like you did not earn that genetically are set

up different yeah so shut the fuck up oh my god absolutely i could kill her right now wow imagine if we just answered something and we were like it's just great genes yeah that's what normal people should say that's why i don't believe in sharing like your what you eat in a day or anything because it's like it literally doesn't fucking matter that's what normal people Should say that's why I don't believe in sharing like Your what you eat in a day or anything because it's like It literally doesn't fucking matter That's so fucking true I love that you don't believe in that Is this the we stand on this We do not

Believe in what I eat in a day I don't well because people always Like post those and it's like what good is that Same I don't believe I just don't believe In it I stand beside it I think I Need to do a YouTube video like that like what I eat What I eat in a day we should do a realistic like what we eat in a day and it's like everything we post me and it's like we i want to know can i go on a like a very quick tangent yeah hello and it means so much to me yeah it means so much to me you have the floor so i was just in mexico for like

eight days and the food there is amazing like we're Ordering like good food and like whatever But I'm really bad at leaving America Because I really love like fast food and like Shitty food like I've always been that type of person So when I go somewhere else and like You can't post me it's like a Common a common girl you know what I mean And my death row meal

I'm talking like I am Dead like I'm dying Lethal injection in five I am ordering a Jersey Mike's Club Sub Giant edition first of all It's $8 To upgrade it to giant

And I kid you not I was talking about this yesterday It is it weighs more than a newborn baby Like you throw it on the counter and it's like Donk like it's like it's huge And you get Lay's chips And you put it on the counter and it's like don't like it's like it's huge and you get lace chips and you put it in the jersey mike's club sub i am so convinced that it can fix everything in my life really someone i love could die you should have and the first thing i would do is order a jersey mike's club sub oh you got cheated on club sub oh my god i'm sick i could have cancer and i'd be like just i don't know if I have anything that does that for me

I would go Subway before Jersey Mike's Have you ever had a Jersey Mike's club sub? I really like Subway too And everybody clowns Subway No Subway is fucking phenomenal They made it like embarrassing to like Subway Subway is phenomenal Wait no nevermind that's just

Well too bad Jared was a pedophile Is that the joke? No What are your thoughts on Arby's Jared Excuse me He came to my school When I

When I say I love Subway I'm not condoning Anything that Jared has ever done Fuck Jared But yesterday I had an entire Jersey Mike's Club Sub Down my body I swear to God

Sub start to finish like this In my bed Laying completely Completely just Horizontal That's another I'm gonna bury you with a Club Sub I'm serious if I ever died Like just know that's what I'd want Everyone to eat in honor of me In my bed Laying completely Completely just Horizontal That's another I'm serious

If I ever died Like just know That's what I'd want Everyone to eat In honor of me Like pour one out For the homies What would be

Your death row meal You guys are gonna be like Oh my god That's the bitch That like talks about Having good genes It'd be sushi That's like

No I did I wanted to roll my eyes Just to add some spunk You guys were dead silent I actually love sushi But it wouldn't be My death row meal I was dead silent Because Ari's's off camera stomping on my couch i'm sorry mine would be creamed corn anybody asked me what is it you're just flipping the narrative of you being into me you're like

no one asked me what is your death wait wait wait i was gonna say i knew you were going to because i told you to remember it if there was ever a trivia wait what is it creamed corn her entire death row meal would be a bucket of cream that's actually i totally am on board with that oh my god it's my favorite a hundred percent i think ever can you want corn corn corn is weirdly like up there on my shit. Anything corn. And my shit because you can't digest corn. But like elote, corn chowder.

I just had a really bad corn chowder the other day and I was so mad at the restaurant. It was the Ivy in Beverly Hills. Seriously, get it together. Like it was bad corn chowder. I was like, where's the chowder? If corn chowder is bad, that will make you go immediately. Nothing was going. But a's the chowder? If corn chowder is bad, that's that will make you go immediately. Nothing was going good.

Corn chowder. Also in England. So my dad's from New Zealand. Oh, really? And this is what they do. You're going to love this. Toast a piece of bread, put butter and put cream corn on the bread. Have you done that?

No, but that would make me literally horny. I think you're going to die. Like your life, your life will never be the same. Oh, my God. god it's so good i think we should try it for our next cooking show absolutely anytime i was talking about this the other day i was talking about this um the other day um ari ari you're right here so i'm gonna i'm slanding you a little bit okay OK, but it's out of love. He's a nepo baby. This is our third episode in a row saying it. But I was saying that. You get in trouble when I say a nepo baby.

From the nepo. They cut his allowance. OK, OK. I'll be watching. OK. Point. Cow shot me after that. I it's one of my weirdly biggest fears to have an epo baby again i love you so so much no but i was saying that something that shaped me so much as a person growing up was learning how to survive off of ramen like make it a hundred different ways because it was like that Was the only thing you could afford so

You'd figure out like how can I Spunkify this up and it tastes like a Different meal for the 38th time this Month Mine was easy mac one time I got a Costco thing of easy mac for my Birthday For my birthday

When you added birthday I was like whoa I was not I thought I wasn't expecting Yeah it's touchy subject over here did they put like a bow like around it yeah and that was my meals for the year seriously until the next one honestly kind of sweet kind of a good and then one time I almost set the place on fire putting in the microwave with no water what were you trying to do make it like extra crunchy well I was I wasn't thinking burst into flames well it happens to a lot of people it happened to me again in college the reason I say all this Because she was saying Butter with bread

Butter bread Was such a big part Of like my Having no money Like butter bread Or butter on toast Yeah like either one No but also just butter bread

You put the butter on the bread And you like I've never heard that If you've ever had no Like wonder bread and butter It's so good Well especially Without toasting it

Well if there's no electricity girl What are you going to do With the lighter Okay so I sound Entitled as bug right now No if there's no electricity, girl, what are you going to do with the lighter? Okay, so I sound entitled as fuck right now? No, if there was a toaster, we were toasting. But sometimes, no, low-key, you would, like, learn to crave that. Or, like, mayonnaise on bread, mayonnaise bologna on bread. Insane.

But learning how to make ramen 30 ways, I feel like, it's a humbling experience. And I was saying, one day when I have a kid, no matter what, I'm going to make them go on Monday. Yeah, you should make them do, like like only ramen and a couple ingredients and say fitfo figure it the fuck out like just so that like build character that's what i'm saying like yeah right last night i was craving that so but i postmated 7-eleven 7-eleven postmates cup of noodles. Kraft singles.

Egg and butter. And just put it all in there. Ate it last night. That sounds delicious. A Kraft single in the noodle. Yes. Yes. Oh my God. That one I've never done.

Like with the ramen, you put the Kraft single over the ramen. Really? And then you crack the egg in the ramen. And then you just stir it all up. And it's bubblegum surprise again. But it's Wow The fact that you Can't shit

Is like alarming to me Yeah like that should be Like all the stuff You're talking about I'm like there's no way You don't have like A regular shitting schedule I definitely do think

That came out of me today though Because I was like Feet up on the toilet Seeing God Today She will like have these Like horrible nasty meals though But she'll have like

Two bites of them Like she doesn't really like eat it That was the nicest thing you've ever said to me I sure hope not That's hot that is really hot Only two We finally have a podcast with Sophia With an F and we're just talking about fucking

Ramen noodles for an hour like And shitting do you guys use a Squatty potty no but my roommate does and she swears by it see i don't need help but if i did i i know that it's helpful yeah well i never have until this recent era and i never tried feet up on the toilet actually until i was in mexico i can't even picture that's three days ago in mexico i tried it for the first time where you literally barefoot put it on the toilet seat and you're like i was in only a bikini no you're waiting for i had no choice it was coming out or i was going to die

do you know what i mean it didn't come out so but i put my feet up on the toilet my hands were on the walls and i was trying it all like bloom i can't believe you have a bloom nutrition deal and you're saying it's amazing and it does the job it's good for digestion like really really good damn i should try it so good honestly you sold me so shit i know yeah i'm gonna bring it to you tomorrow i might and just see what happens to you everything might need it so shit no pun so what brings you to Los Angeles this trip? So I think it's partly work, partly running away from hanging out with my ex for a full weekend. And I'm like, I was only supposed to be here for like a couple days, and now I'm thinking, let's extend, you know?

You're more than welcome to stay here if you want to come on a really sad, scary journey. Dude, earlier I was like, I really don't have topics for Sophia. Like, I just want to talk shit with her because I've like, I haven't gotten to know her yet. And like, I'm excited to get to know her. And I look at Brooke and I was like, at the end of the day, we can always just ask gay son or thought daughter. What are you guys? Are you guys speaking English? What is it?

Would you rather have a gay son or a thought daughter? I'm like, what? I'm like, I'm like I'm sorry That's the part you didn't understand Of this podcast Would you rather have a gay son or a thought daughter Gay son Okay I guess everyone has a thought daughter

In it's pragma Because I don't want to deal with a Daughter and a baby when she's like 18 You know Also a gay son or whatever I think I would prefer a gay son over a straight one I'm happy with whatever

I want a gay son and a thought daughter That would be my dream Oh what a collab I know that I'm gonna be Slightly like I want to raise my kids well again Ramen for a month What a collab. It's like, I am, I know that I'm going to be slightly like, like I want to raise my kids well again. Ramen for a month. You're not going to be a nepo asshole.

Jenna's going to be so funny. She's like, you're camping tonight. See you tomorrow. She's up here. They're like, they're in the backyard. She's like, you guys can't come inside. But there is a part of me that's excited to be like the mean girls mom like do you guys need a condom i don't know i don't i i know myself because in my head i've

always felt like i was gonna be that silent spoke as i grew up i start seeing things like i'll scroll through my tiktok and i'll see like kids doing backflips on a trampoline and i'm like i'm never letting my kid go outside like you could break your neck doing anything see but I'm like breaking your neck builds character but like how scary like people get like CTE like my kid can't play football like no like I'm gonna be so protective I know me too well my brother is 11 years younger than me oh wow and I had a single mom and so I felt like I kind of have been like his mom a little bit yeah and I'm fucking I am the most batshit not well person should not be a mom right now or ever and with him I'm like you can't do this you cannot do this I'm fucking terrified

what do you mean like I like yeah so I feel like i'm gonna end up being like a boner parent because we were fucking batshit crazy right yeah i definitely i want to be a really honest parent i want to be like listen these things happen in the real world i'd rather you tell me that you go through these things let's talk about it back and forth like honest parent i don't know controlling parenting scares me because i think if you control your kids so hard they're gonna rebel i was definitely not controlled. I had my grandparents and my grandparents, they were like so over the parenting thing. Once I came around, they were just like, whatever. So I was allowed to do whatever I want.

And because of that, I felt like I didn't want to do anything that crazy. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I grew up with like a very strict mom. And I think that's why I've been in jail three times. Wait. What was the worst thing you went to jail for? Resisting arrest.

She's like battery. Arson. Resisting arrest is kind of hot, though. No. I mean, if you saw it, like, it wasn't hot at all. Like, they, like, trampled me to, like, the fucking ground on the street. But, the street but like I would say that was probably the crazy okay but what were they arresting you for originally um so funny story I was using a fake id and I was like way beyond a normal amount of like being intoxicated like I was like stumbling around whatever but they saw my fake id i tried to use

it with the police which idiot like or genius they for sure have a database they for sure know if your id is fake like maybe you can get into a club um but they fucking put me in and they said that i was um in trouble in forgery forgery oh because You're pretending to be like someone Yeah but like everyone like it ended up On the cover of like some magazine in Utah like busted magazine and people Were like were you like forging checks

Like oh that is crazy because you don't You don't go to jail for forgery unless It's like you know No one gives you that For a fake ID Oh that Yeah that is crazy Because that's like It should just be like

A minor in conception Wait do you have A fun mugshot I have multiple I have multiple That is cool You should do much And they're not fun

They're actually like Really like embarrassing It's not It's not I'm not like glamorizing My mugshot's so fugly She has a fun If I could go back in time Do you look hot in yours or no Not at all Promise I'm not like glamorizing it. My mugshot's so fugly. She has a fun look. If I could go back in time.

Do you look hot in yours or no? Not at all. Promise. I'm trying to pick you up. You promise? Can I tell you my biggest discrepancy with my mugshot? Is I'm sitting there. I'm in Indio, California, Coachella jail.

And there's glitter coming down my eyes. I'm on Molly. And I'm under arrest. There's a bandana around my neck. Black bandana. Oh, yeah. a bandana around my neck black bandana Yeah, black bandana around my neck and there's glitter on my eyes whatever and i'm looking there. I'm ready to pose This is me ready. I'm looking at the camera. I'm like And they're like you have to put your hair behind me. They did that to me, too

And I was fucking pissed. I have a really weird thing People actually always my ears people always ask me like weirdly, one of my biggest insecurities is my ears. I don't, like, I'll show. I'll show the class. I don't think I have weird ears. Like, I think they're normal ears. One time, one time, Harry Jowsey looked at me and was like, I love your little, your little ears.

From here, you look like Emma Roberts. No, I don't. Like, legit. Nope. Not at all. And I put my hair behind my ears And then I'm so mad I'm like this isn't gonna be a hot photo So I don't smile and the thing I hit up

And my hair is behind my ears I'm gonna one up that Because they made me get out of my clothes And put on the orange like Chumps No that's Cam No that's Cam No and then I'm wearing the orange like Chumps No that's Cam No that's Cam No and then

I'm wearing the orange I'm wearing the orange top You're kidding Wait who is that? Me At least the hair was forward No the hair No the hair is forward in that one

My other one They made me put the hair back Why is that a mugshot rule? I'm doing that Why do your ears have to be in your mugshot but why did they make me put on the fucking thing and then take it like my tits were out they were pulled like you know one time my friend sent me a photo of my mom on the news and it said it was her mugshot and she was wearing a full straight jacket i was like i have the photo too i'm like

fun how did that just one one up to anything that's been said this can we no we can't we can't pull it up can we no no no no never mind okay he was gonna pull it up but like so funny i'll show you guys after okay just we'll just edit them in we'll edit the one was she in an actual straight jacket yeah look at this i've really never been in a straight jacket that's not weird for me don't you think that in my 24 years of life like there would have been a point i was in a straight jacket once i actually completely lied oh really i feel like that's something you would music video i feel like that's something you would incorporate into your like sex routine

no isn't it crazy that i shot a music video and they were like what concept do you want it to be and I was like I want to be in a straight jacket you are so camp no at all how sad is that and it's so funny it's so crazy because every time I move, I lose like vital things I own. I don't know what it is. But this girl has been with her through everything. Like when I move from this house, I'm going to move to the next house, which is going to be down the street. And I'm going to be missing like a TV that like I bought.

Like a flat screen. But this voodoo doll has made it 10 fucking houses. 10? Like at this point, probably, yeah. Can I see it? She has rare beauty blush on. She is missing certain things. Like tits and like an ass.

Well, that was really nice. No, I was thinking like a hand. I didn't forget her bombshell. But it's funny because a lot of the guys I've dated have like made the same joke of like stabbing it and shit. Like take it and like whatever. I wouldn't really stab it. You would totally stab it.

We do voodoo dolls usually not have a mouth well i personally just shouldn't have a mouth yeah god if i didn't no one's ever talked about that if i didn't have a mouth on purpose i'd probably have a way better life i couldn't say the things i said if you had to get rid of one of your holes which would you choose oh that's such a good question like oh my god that's right your vagina your asshole or your mouth you have to get rid of one and you have to face the consequences she's not getting rid of her asshole it's like her favorite thing yeah but it's already not functioning properly so i feel like that one might be an easy answer hold on oh my god so like i get rid of hold on so i get rid

of my asshole and then like I can't shit Nope So how does it come out So we would die You have to have a A little bag I'm going no asshole then Okay I need a pussy

Yeah what about that And a life without a mouth Is like strange Right I think probably Which holes would you go So if I could go No asshole

I wouldn't die though But you could You could just do anal You could just do though Yeah we just have like a fun little shit bag You could just do anal and just not have a pussy I hate the word pussy coming out of my own mouth No I need a pussy As long as it looks cute Like it's not like human centipede like weird Well I was actually just weirdly gonna ask

If you had to be one part of the human centipede Who would you be? The first one right? Yeah for sure You get fed That's like a lot of pressure though Like you be the first one right yeah for sure like you get fed that's like a lot of pressure though like you're the voice for her for like all the people like everyone you know it's a lot of pressure having to do both at once i think i'd weirdly live to be the first person in the human centipede what a movie every time you take a shit i can talk my shit and every time

you shit you're like Oh my god And it probably kind of feels Hungry Yeah see I have a guilt complex I might like to be Like in the back What the fuck And it probably feels like

You're getting your ass Eaten 24 hours This never happened To real people right The human centipede Never happened to real people I'm sure there's No it's not based off

Of a real story No but like you think In all of the world There's not some human centipedes like in someone's basement there is well haven't you seen uh what's it called two girls one cup when they like shit in the cup and of course have you seen what is it what one one girl one jar one horse one jar i don't know i don't mean to add in the horse why is that the only thing my producer has said out loud for the last hour? He goes, yeah. Of course he has.

Or Ms. Sharon. Which one is it? One girl. Is it one girl? One guy, one jar. And he puts a glass jar in his asshole and shatters it. Imagine your asshole having that much strength. It's kind of a talent.

This used to be the box. Like we were talking about the box earlier. That's what happened at the box. No, they, when it, when the box first was a Thing you would know the history New York please please the box I remember There was this girl who used to either Jack off a horse or like a go and there Was a girl who would give it like a

Blowjob to like one or the other and But she was in love with the horse or The go I don't know if that's I don't Know if you can get away with that now To like one or the other And But she was in love With the horse Or the goat I don't know if that's I don't know if you can Get away with that Now it's not allowed How'd they get a horse in there?

Now it's not allowed Well the boxes are Even now Like when I go there now There's one in London Why have I been to the mall? Even when I go there now It's like

The things that are happening Feel very illegal You watch it And it feels super illegal So to know it was like Ten times more than that The sexy guy from The Lion king the uh scar kovu scar kovu i'm talking about lion king 2 oh scar son kovu is he sexy when i tell you i grew up and i would like get wet

watching lion king 2 for kovu i'm not joking And everyone thinks it's weird They're like it's a fucking lion I'm like have you heard his voice Have you heard what he has to say Like so fucking like the hottest shit ever I love You're with me No I

Okay listen I'm on your team here Brooke you were talking about Scar I was I was I'm trying to think if I've ever been in love With like an inanimate character Brian from Family Guy And I would get along weirdly But he's a person

It's a dog Oh He's a dog Wolf Girl All the people in Family Guy And you choose the dog What about the baby

No no no Stewie's gay Stewie's my favorite character But Stewie Brian and I I's my favorite character But Stewie Brian and I I've definitely dated A lot of guys

With the same personality As Brian from Family Guy The dog I don't know I don't think I'm educated enough Gir Girl Hair tracks

I'm like That is so funny You just said that I was like I relate to this girl No I really did I grew up And I like had a big crush on him

But I just don't think I really I don't know if I knew quite as much. I also had like a weird crush at one point on the, like the lobster thing in Powerpuff Girls. The lobster thing? Do you know what I'm talking about? Larry the Lobster?

No, can you look, can you? Wait, what's his name? We had Paige be him for one. I paid this man the big bucks. Dude, we went as the Powerpuff Girls for Halloween and we made her assistant be the lobster. No, can you, can you look it look it Up I don't know the gender I weirdly Yeah he got them legs on him like I was

Into it which I think it says a lot about Me now that looks like every man I've Ever dated yeah he's got the hunch just Like your ex the microphone too like That's that's my type he's like He's giving me like Rocky Horror Picture Show Vibes I don't know if I know what that means You never seen that?

I don't think so That's a really interesting one the lobster Of all the ones I can't even really think about the other ones There's Mojo Jojo No I just mean like the other cartoons Which people call me a lot other cartoons and i could see myself with like a squidward i'm sorry did you guys watch

fun job growing up and like as a kid you'd watch and you'd think like squidward is so negative and then now you watch it and you're like i am squidward i haven't watched it recently why have i it's really crazy watching spongebob now because you're like wow this is i just recently had sex to the spongebob movie that's hard i can't expect i can't express like two enough i'm talking like watch the spongebob movie riding a dick you're like while being who lives in a pineapple i swear i swear to god Like and we'd like stop for a second and like watch The movie for a second like I weirdly Had like full blown

Wait I'm sorry you guys will fuck And then stop and then Watch like a scene in the movie and then keep Fucking I have never Done that ever I'm thinking more so like round One round two you know what I mean okay round Two like you came now we're gonna watch 20 minutes of this one draw movie then we're

Gonna run it back again okay so it's not like In the middle crazy That's a crazy clip like you're Not like you're not like writing him and Then it's like oh my god I love this scene To be honest with you though I do Do that sometimes but that's different okay With this guy it was like really great

Sex so it was like we're fucking spongebob Movies happening we came now We're watching again like we're fucking. SpongeBob movie's happening. We came. Now we're watching again. Now we're fucking again. But have you ever been fucking someone and like it's not that good and there's a movie playing and you're way more into the movie than the person and you're like watching the movie just going through the motions? Like I do that sometimes.

No, but one time. That's the worst The worst thing That can ever happen Is when you share Something like so vulnerable About yourself And someone's just like No

I cannot relate Can't relate This happened to me With the show Dave I was like watching Dave And I was so into the episode And I was sucking dick And I was like

This The dick part's fun and all But like I want to know What happens to little Dickie And I was like was like watching a literal video like a pov video of me watching like bridgerton and like fully if you don't show me i will i will full like in if you watch it back it's just like you can see the scene of bridgerton no but one time this guy was fucking me. I was so obsessed in love with him.

So obsessed. Super Bowl halftime show. Katy Perry. That was a big one. All my friends were the little. Sex during the Super Bowl is crazy. Don't you want to watch the Super Bowl more than that? Or just me?

The fact he wanted to fuck me during the Super Bowl speaks volumes. Yeah, that is really indicative but he Was fucking me from behind and I turned Around and he was watching Katy Perry And like that baby you're a firework Not even looking at my ass like not Looking at me and this is only our Second time hooking up so it could have

Been like the black and I'm fucking During the Super Bowl is So it was like It could have been like the black eyed pea Second time fuck being during the Super Bowl What did you say could have been what? Could have been the black eyed pea Super Bowl Okay so Katy Perry like that's about it Like I wouldn't I don't know Katy Perry like I'd be like okay Fuck you guys I have to pee so bad

Okay Can I just No can I just tell you a serious problem I have Have you ever Have you watched Euphoria? Yes Have you seen that scene He's so bad. Okay. Can I, no, can I just tell you a serious problem I have? Have you ever, have you watched euphoria? Yes. Have you seen that scene in euphoria where rue,

like she's like on drugs and she can't, and she can't move and she's holding her pee for like days or like hours. And like, she can't get up to go pee. Yeah. I like do that all the time. I have to pee the second I feel it. Cause it's, like, I just, like, well, first of all, I peed myself in my own house, like, way too many times. What?

Okay. Like, I always wear onesies. I always wear, like, one-piece, like, outfits. And so, like, sometimes, like, I'll overestimate, like, the amount of time it's going to take, and then I'll piss myself in my own house. Okay. But, like, you won't, like, you won't just no wait i'm like you're not drunk or anything completely sober well but you don't just sit like you want to be sitting here like

i mean i pee like every time i go pee it it, like, goes down my leg. Not every time. But, like, a tiny bit. Holy fuck. That helped. Honestly, that really helped. But, like, I take my clothes off. But then it, like, some, yeah. I think it's. How does it go down your leg?

It's the wizard's sleeve. Like, my vagina. Sophia. The vagina flops. The vagina flops. My cousin's looking at me She knows I think it's my vagina flops When I pee

It's like a little slide Sometimes My cousin's looking at me She knows It's such a crazy thing To add to that I just want I just want to

Revert back to that Okay I'm like girl You know She's like Jump Because she got power Because she got power

It's crazy I sometimes When I After I wipe A little bit Will go down my leg Okay But I don't pee myself

Is that peeing yourself No She's like low key shaming She's like But I don't pee myself I know I'm like shit That's pretty bold to say

Okay I weirdly don't have a problem With either one of your Wizard flaps X onesie things But I will hold my pee For like hours And like I have to pee so bad

And I won't get up All day in pain Like in bed Like for two hours Like right now I've had to pee Since we sat down Wouldn't you just

Take the break Yes And I never do You've never had a UTI I've had a UTI probably I've had more UTIs than I have like Boyfriends I hold my pee astronomically

And I can't People say it's a depression thing But like sincerely Well you could go But I'd rather end the podcast and keep sitting here In excruciating pain Thing so but like sincerely I think but I'd rather end the podcast and keep Sitting here in excruciating pain we can End this episode and then do Sophia's

Episode I think we covered all the Important things you know what I mean I We really really hit it all wizard Sleeves what being what did we talk About other than Mike Malak call her daddy shitting yourself And pissing yourself like nothing her Being attracted to a animal right right And the matching pussies with the

Cousin yeah honestly I will just say I Feel like it's been a sincerely long Time overdue that I've met you and I can just tell we would catch a vibe forever and I'm happy that you came on thank you so much so feel with an after shaking I am fucking shivering shaking I want to throw up should I tweet Alex Cooper shaking right now we just leave in the playing ground yes do it god someone take my twitter away I might have to do it Thank you so much for having me guys It's so funny that we end every podcast With the guest being like thank you so much for having me

As if it was like something Like monumental Like we just made this girl talk about shitting herself For an hour Thank you so much for having me on I feel like I got a lot across And I hope it changes lives You know what I mean

Like thank you for coming on We love you I feel like I got a lot across and I hope it changes lives. You know what I mean? Like, thank you for coming on. We love you. Thank you. We love you. Thank you. We're going to shoot another episode right now. Please go see you with Neb. Yes.

Woo.