Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - 48: Confronting Trevor Wallace for dating BOTH of us - Ep.48

Episode Date: August 19, 2023

On this episode of Cancelled we are joined by Trevor Wallace. Tana tells us a juicy hook up story while traveling abroad. Trevor gets confronted about his clip on Howie Mandel’s podcast where he discussed him and Tana seeing each other. Trevor confronts Brooke about going on a date with him after another date that day. This episode is full of laughs and advice about what to do on tour. GET STARTED AT HTTPS://CEREBRAL.COM/CANCELLED AND SAVE UP TO $160 WITH A MULTI-MONTH PACKAGE. Tana Mongeau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanamongeau/ Tana Mongeau Twitter: https://twitter.com/tanamongeau Tana Mongeau TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanamongeaulol Brooke Schofield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ Brooke Schofield Twitter: https://twitter.com/BroookeAmber Brooke Schofield TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1 Brooke Schofield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzCVovj7tfqnV2lIkaVk35A Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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From tires to auto repair, we're always there, treadexperts.ca. Hit an intro. Hello, and welcome back to the canceled podcast. That was a collab intro. That was fucking hot. Hi, Trevor Wallace. Hey, I'm matching Brooks, so this is pretty big. Yeah, so I'm like, just saying.

So if you're listening to the audio version, just picture two really hot people. That's what we're... Absolutely. That's the vibe we're going with. I am genuinely surprised you wanted to come on the Cancelled Podcast. He's been waiting. Why did you have to break the news to Howie mandel he didn't even ask it was his his uh daughter okay is the podcast host there's a whole bang bus situation over there i don't know what's happening but the daughter's

like somebody wrote in and said i heard you and tana hooked up and i was i just was like i'm not going to talk to howie mandel about what i do in life i didn't re-watch it after we did like the whole expose i re-watched it and i was like actually like he that was the only way he really could have handled yeah what am i gonna go into what spill my pawn stars routine the only funny thing that happened with that is uh a girl i was with saw that clip of you talking about it she's like wait he did the pawn stars thing to me you just stole my is that your move you just know you it's just a funny thing to do so i guess yeah you just stole my first that your move you just know you just it's a funny thing to do

so i guess yeah you just stole my first topic of conversation what you can this is your podcast you can cut that out you can put yours in no ready set go i'm not gonna i'm not gonna take two for the people that don't know trevor and i have the same manager right yes and the other night it was our manager's birthday it's scooter braun um ariana tiana trevor my manager invited me to his birthday party and not you which is classic i get there he goes oh i thought you're out of town so we have this whole tangent about like who he likes more like we're not really sure whatever but i decided that i should invite trevor and like surprise trev surprise seth with trevor you know what i mean that's her favorite thing to do is invite

people who are not invited to things i was just happy to be thought of for this. I'm like, I miss you. I wanted to hang out. I thought it'd be fun. And so I invite you. And then you text me the most rogue, insane thing ever. Like, again, as if we like dated, bro. You're like, I'm bringing a girl.

Like, is that okay? I'm like. I didn't know. But like. Like, what'd you think? I was going to be like hurt. No, not even like that I just want to show up with random people to your place okay I don't want you I

make everything so about me you know I make everything so about me like in my little narcissistic brain I'm like oh my god he loves me like why is he asking me if he can bring a girl like he's like I just want to show up to your place with random people you and the girl get here and everyone's like having a little pregame shot just chit-chatting around whatever and the girl get here and everyone's like having a little pregame shot just chit-chatting around whatever and the girl like kind of pulls me aside and she's like and she's like he did the Pawn Stars thing to me too that is really bad of course I don't have done like storage wars or something like don't you at. That's for my wife. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

My strange addiction. Oh, I love TLC. They are really just the best network. Did you ever watch John and Kate Plus 8? No. You have such a fixation on John and Kate Plus 8. What is it? Was that your show?

Is it like they have sex with eight people? No, they had eight kids. John and Kate did. And then they got divorced. So cheaper by the dozen. She was like the first Octomom. Oh, Octom octo mom was that it i thought those were two separate things mom there is like the octo mom but like she was or maybe no octo mom is the lady who had eight kids at one that's her own lc kate had like six at once like they did like ivf or something something went wrong

ivf ivermectin of course tranquilizer i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've i've And it was pretty out of order. I'm killing myself. You don't do a vaginal birth if you have eight kids. I hate it that I said that. I'm so sorry for saying vaginal. Wait, what did you just say? I don't know. I said, like, put them out like a boba straw. Tapioca. That's just eight kids coming out.

By the seventh one, you're like, you're lubed up. We're ready to go. I've never had a child, so I don't knowed up is crazy well i don't what do you call it we also were watching dated and related and then you made it like an avid known thing that you had to switch to pawn stars i kind of think it's like i don't even know what dated and related is you watched it with me i was just so in love i couldn't think about it i'm sorry for that all right it's a crazy thing yeah you don't have to say sorry i think it says a lot about you no i was just listening to that episode right before going on stage

literally in arizona where you guys did it and i was watching that episode i was like are they being mean i can't tell her now because you'd say something fucked up they'd be like we love you trevor and then we go back to like this fucking idiot and his little electric scooter going up the stairs we really do do that highly of you the first you did the stairs. We really do do that. I spoke highly of you the first time. You did. Yeah. You did. We really do do that, though. Like, tell an awful story about someone.

I'll be like, but we love you. Come uncancelled anytime. Like, they don't want to. Love you, girl. Fuck your boyfriend. We always wanted to have you uncancelled, though. That was, like, our first guest that we said before we started back up again. Amazing. Love it.

So I brought gifts. You brought gifts for us? Yeah, just to clear the air. I want everybody who watches and listens to Cancelled to be like, he's a good guy. Okay. Because I brought gifts tailored to you guys. I'm so excited. I brought great gifts for us? Yeah, just to clear the air. I want everybody who watches and listens to Cancel to be like, he's a good guy. Okay. Because I brought gifts tailored to you. I'm so excited. I brought great gifts for you guys. Jake, Paul, get in here. No, I brought great...

She just starts crying. Oh, I'm so excited. Brooke, I know you love McDonald's, so I got you a Happy Meal. That's actually so sweet. Is he going to hand me like a meth pipe? No, I got you milk because that's an insane thing to order and i thought it was so do you like milk i love milk wait how did you know that

i'm not i spoke i'm not you drink milk do you like milk i love no one percent i always say on the canceled podcast i say we should bring milk back that's why people call her mommy well that's why you should be canceled they call you what that's why they call her mommy milkers that's why yeah they do not call me that just harry josey look well there you go i got you some milk that's actually so sweet this is the most thoughtful gift anyone's ever is it the apple slices or the mini french fry oh i don't know i'm gonna do an unboxing i had somebody pick it up for me and who was i have an assistant i have my own page oh it is apple slices apple slices. Oh, let's go. Wait, I got a toy too. What's the toy? Well, it is.

Not the toys Tana has around her house. It's a sex joke. Oh, it's something light year. Buzz light year? There's only one light year. What? Isn't there the tires? No, it's good year.

Wait, no, this is like, I'm not kidding. This is the best thing you could have possibly gifted me. Oh, and Tana, I hope I live up to the hype. I brought you a vape. That's the wrong one. That's so kind. And then that's so unkind. I looked in your pool. There's five vapes at the bottom of your pool.

I really actually have to talk about that for a second. I was throwing a party the other day and everyone kept asking me to hit my vapes. And then they'd bring them back to me and they'd be dead. And then I was just like not in the right state of mind. So I was throwing them in the pool. Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer or enjoy over 3,000 games to choose from like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz.

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advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. When I was a child and I learned to swim, they used to put stuff at the bottom of the pool to go dive to it. So if you have kids one day, keep the vapes down. Go get mommy's vape. Go get mommy's vape is a real thing a mom says to this day yeah absolutely have you guys seen those videos of the people like throwing the kids in the water and then they like bob to the baptism no no it's like how you teach

a kid to like turn over like they're teaching babies how to swim oh my god i've seen those videos it'll be like eight months old and they just throw them in the ocean and then they like, they go. And the kid turns over. This does it? Yes. It's definitely just like borderline, like a not okay thing to do. I mean, it's actually really smart because now your kid knows how to swim. But like. But not just swimming, but just to like, they know to turn over so that they don't drown. Yeah, but the pros and cons aren't great on that.

I see those a lot on like, my For You page says a lot about me, I guess, and I see those a lot. But it's like, they're funny. They're funny videos because it's kind of like. Is drowning i don't know i feel like what i don't want children to drown it's just like the concept of it's i don't want children to drown okay isn't that what um casey anthony casey anthony did she's like she lives in florida just walked around you know that my sister my sister was in prison with Casey Anthony. Really? That sentence alone lets me know you definitely drank milk.

What did you just say to me? I swear to God, my sister was in prison with Casey Anthony. Isn't that weird that that's like a flex? Like, I was in prison with Casey. No, it really was. What was your sister in prison for? Aggravated DUI. We actually just were talking.

Aggravated DUI. It's aggravated if you have like more than three, I think. Sorry, Tori. Wait, what does aggravated dui we actually just we're talking it's aggravated if you have like more than three i think sorry tori wait what is aggravated well also aggravated can mean that they put the like breathalyzer in your car and then you have someone else blow into it so that you can still drive drunk which is not funny at all but she's she's sober now turn on or turn off if a guy has a dui you gotta blow into it in the car. It's a good car, though. Urus. Lamborghini Urus. It's a Urus.

No, see, I wouldn't date a guy with a Urus. Really? Why? Tacky. Tacky. It's also just insane to spend a quarter of a million dollars on an SUV. Why do I want a Urus? She wants one so bad. I think they're cool.

I joke all the time. Like a black one. No, they're cool. I would date a guy with a Urus, but not with a breathalyzer in his URUS probably. Yeah. It's kind of cool though. All right, babe, you ready? People will like make their kids do it.

My mom used to make me pee in a cup. What? So that she could pass her drug test. Trauma dumping. I'm like, anyone else have a topic? No, that's great. I mean, it's kind of a life hack. It is.

Like drug testing. Like you have your kids do it. How does she approach you? She's like, hey, Brookie I mean, it's kind of a life hack. It is. Like drug testing, like you have your kids do it. How does she approach you? She's like, hey, Brookie, who wants McDonald's? Well, when you're that young, it's like, sure, I'll- You don't know what's going on, yeah. Yeah. Was it for work?

That's fair. I would make people pee in cups for me at work. It was like probation. Or at school. It's the most humbling thing ever to just know. Like inside my little juicy couture bag was like a notebook and like pens and like a cup of warm piss. You know, like it definitely- What did you ever have to pee like a cup of warm piss you know like it's definitely

what did you ever have to pee in a cup for jobs school you get enough trouble really wow yeah yeah what job we haven't at i worked at plato's closet what is that that is they were practicing i think anyone work at plato's closet and not do drugs what is What is Plato's Closet? It's like a consignment store. It's a thrift store where people come in and sell their things. So your job is to go through the stuff that people bring in. And it was honestly the most insane. You'd think you'd want them on drugs for that. That's what I'm saying.

Everybody fucking coked out. It's like, yeah, I organize everything by thread count. I 100% agree. And the people that are coming in to sell it keep in mind this was in Vegas so it's like all crackheads that are that are bringing in like the most and you know else in Vegas Pawn Stars ladies and gentlemen what a callback I went there you've been there yeah I've been there have you been on an episode no I've never been on an episode for some reason that was the one thing my family wanted to go do like if I was there I saw my parents I'd make a scene there like like every time i land at lax i think there's gonna be paparazzi

that's not how this works but like i'll be like you call him that's what i found out that's hilarious you can call him you stage it but i thought that they'd always be at lax so if i went to pawn stars that's how i would act it'd be like oops i think this is just a forty thousand dollar baseball card and then i just show a little pity. See, you are weirdly into it. A hundred percent. It's a great show. But like, that was a little like sexual to me. Wait, what?

See? Just the way he was talking about it. Like he's a little too excited. Okay, so what would you prefer a guy put on the TV? Whoa, great question. See, I think there's- It can't be too interesting because you don't want them to like, you know.

I really love when it's an Adam Sandler movie because then if I'm bored during the sex, I can also watch the movie. Okay. Tell me you've never done that. Like you're giving a blowjob and you're low key just watching the movie. Where are your eyes and where is his body when you're watching the screen? Just 69ing?

No, I don't know. I'm going celibate though. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I've decided. For how long? She says it every week. Every week I say it. I've just hit like a new high or low depending on the way you look at things, you know.

I want to tell this story on the podcast, but I don't think I can. But would Trevor be a good person to break it to? Yeah, absolutely. I'm having a bit of a crisis right now. Okay. Because I think that I've taken my sexual escapades too far. It's possible. I think that. Yeah, I know you pretty well. Not sexual my sexual escapades too far it's possible i think that i know you pretty well not far is too far and i already felt this way after coming back

from europe i have i could tell that story as well please did you fall in love in europe a little bit actually i went to abiza i was the ugliest person there by a mile like no everyone good looking in obese abitha everybody's gorgeous everybody's gorgeous oh shit even the dogs are kind of hot I feel like cut that part out I was the ugliest man that by far nobody looked at me the only time I got recognized once he goes are you on YouTube shorts I said what the fuck did you say to me that's such a hilarious thing like so specific are you on YouTube shorts I mean yeah I hear that's where the money's at it's just such a random specific are you on youtube shorts i mean yeah i hear that's where the money's at it's just such a random like are you on facebook reels like yo you make videos or

tiktok instagram but how old was the person who recognized you i have no idea maybe 21 and 2cb probably exactly i was naked i think it's such a pick me thing when american people say ibiza so i had i said it the other day and that's why you just said that i know it's such a pick me thing when american people say ibiza so i had i said it the other day and that's why you just said that i know it's not it's not i said it the other day because i've said ibiza so many times and every time someone corrects me although it's so tacky to me when you like in the middle of a sentence will say like something in like the proper accent i went on a date one time with a guy who ordered like was ordering it was like a french place and he goes can i have a croissant yeah i was like what the fuck did you even the server was like a croissant yeah

like what the fuck so this is a dunkin donuts it's so embarrassing no i i i find that very awkward too yeah so no abitha for me anymore you should talk people correct you if they're like you mean abitha but i know but like i just got tired of being embarrassed so then i said abitha and tana was like what the fuck did you just say i'm also just triggered because i was just with someone in europe who's a friend of mine who lives in london and he like was saying ibiza every five minutes and it got to the point where i was like say ibiza again and i'm going to literally like overdose um porsche like you know it's like porsche but like i'm never gonna say porsche i'm gonna say porsche i understand i yeah i don't it's just not it's not

my journey it's not my thing gives me the ick but i mean neither i'm stupid anyway i guess i'll start with my europe escapade because i think we can like lead up to this yeah and if you feel as though you may be involved in this story click out you should stop watching yeah holy and i'm going to protect all identities here and if for some reason you feel as though you can find these people as a canceled viewer i plead with you to simply not is this london store is this the reason you want to go sell a bit um this is one of the reasons i want to go sell a bit and then we'll move on to how i got home and really decided that i want to go i love it okay so i was in london and then i go to paris in it in in it sorry Tuesday I always just say that um and so I get to Paris and we're staying at what is my dream hotel I've wanted to stay there my entire

fucking life it is the most beautiful stunning La Quinta Inn La Quinta yeah um it was it was a Hampton Inn um and we get there and we're so excited we've been there for like 12 hours whatever and we go down to eat in the lobby at the lobby restaurant and we're sitting there and we're enjoying our food and the waiter comes over he looks to me identical to timothy chalamet nice and this is so beyond my type like i know for a fact i could break this man in half with my two hands like i i'm like i might be i might be doubling him on the pounds here i'm not even kidding like no not literally okay and page and tire making so much fun of me because you know how i get like when i want someone like it's very much like he's like still he's like still or sparkling and I'm like he's like what do you want to eat I'm like I want the chicken wings please like oh shit being a

whore a stupid fucking whore and Paige and Tyra making so much fun of me like he's coming over and they're like can I get a fork do you want to like you know just and the bit keeps going and now I'm just playing into it like i can't stop doing it but he's also giving me like fuck me eyes back and i'm like how far away and i realize you know as the time goes on we continue to flirt i have a couple glasses of champagne because i realize that i have to work up the courage to hit on this man like he can't hit on me because of his job uh-huh i usually at a nice hotel like someone can't like yeah fuck up their job by hitting on you you know and so now you're choking on your choking on him he's so narrow his spirit's still in you oh i miss him so much i should call him um and so

after relaying a bunch of different things that i could say to him to try to hit on him i decide on albert einstein of a statement really what do you do for fun here god it's fucking google what is this a really good one that's what my big brain decides on what you do for fun here but for some reason he's he's down with it he's like oh i go to this club it's just whatever like telling me this club we exchange phone numbers and we start texting and page ty and i go to dinner and he's texting me and he's like oh actually i'm right down the street from where you're having dinner perfect you you should come like whatever and i get there and i just kind of immediately realize it's over it's up and it's stuck i'm like the chemistry's there and like he's so hot and it's just the place he took us to was

stunning and like he works in the service industry too so he's so hospitable he's taking care of us he's paying for it it's sexy it's sexy okay and then finally he's like do you guys want to come to my apartment after this duh duh and you're like Paige and Ty actually can't no no they come because I'm you know I'm scared that I'm scared that everyone's a murderer so i was like page tie will do anything to ensure that you come with because what if this man is a murderer you're also on the other side of the world so it's like a lot of variables and like what is it cool to die in paris what do you die in paris i said sounds like an mgk song i think it is an mgk in paris it'd be cool to die in paris really that's more like a black bear song maybe both no it is bike sniffing viking in paris is a black bear to die in paris really that's more like a black bear song maybe both no

it is viking sniffing viking in paris is a black bear song of course i know i love him it's great yeah he hates you um and so he hates you yeah he's cringing wherever he is that i just said his name sorry and so we get to his apartment it's so nice i'm shook you know are they paying like that at the at the come to find out he comes from family money they bought it for him it's beautiful i'm like i'm never leaving and so he's just providing us with alcohol and like whatever we want whatever we all end up getting pretty drunk and i start hooking up with him and he what are page and ty doing at this point they're on the balcony smoking cigarettes and like sabering bottles of champagne oh okay like what you do

in paris the paris yeah it's fine and like he he gave them the ox so they're blasting taylor swift like okay they're on they're on you know them they just they just they just giggle in the corner americans are so weird yeah like just imagine like please don't be like why taylor swift this man has never heard this in his life always taylor swift she's everywhere i asked him his favorite type of music though and he said french house music so i don't really think this was his any house anything it's like uh-oh french house and so what even is french house music i don't know i didn't ask i said me too i love it so much god you're in love with this man so where does the story go awry this sounds great i know I know. I'll fly to Paris to fuck this man. Yeah. No. And you should. Everyone should.

It's so life changing. I'm serious. Do it now. I was my agent. And so I go in his room and we start hooking up. Oh, I think I know where this is going in my head, but I'm not going to say it. No pond stars. No electric wheelchair.

Over the pond stars. Yeah. Over the pond. That's the fucking best joke I'll ever say today. Over the pond? That's London, isn't it? Wait, I don't get it. Over the pond.

Over the pond is like when- People go over the pond. That means you're going to like London. Over the pond. Like over- Pond stars. Yeah. Joke bomb.

Let's be honest. You did good. I laughed. Let's talk about fucking this man. He was uncircumcised. Is this what we're getting to? No. Circumcised.

Really? Why though? I really don't know why he was circumcised, but I didn't ask any questions. He takes out his penis. Okay. And I want to, I just want to say this. And I mean this. This is not an over-exaggeration. I promise. I can show you those videos if you

want to see them. Videos? So many videos. We're not supposed to show videos to each other. No, he has full permission. He's like, show whoever you want. I look amazing. Okay, so he has a big dick. Nobody with a small penis can show show everybody the biggest dick i've ever seen in my entire life he had that baguette on him bible i'm talking and the skinny skinny tall ones always have a visual i would say 12 inches 11 too many inches i'm not i would say what did you do with the other seven what the fuck like probably five i'm always measuring with my hands low key i do it every time hands

like just like multiple so many have you ever never mind so no what say it say it say it no no i don't want to say it you have to now like when you sometimes you can't use a whole hand like you have to like leave your pinky out have you ever had one of those what does that happen oh yeah i was just if a girl ever does that i go oh she's trying to be fancy it's a small dick energy right there oh she's jerking me off like a glass of pinot so then he takes out a box a box and i cannot make this up to you this box if i'm standing comes up to like my knees of sex toys oh he's one of those he's one of those and so i can leave out like some details of this one i guess

here's what i'm gonna say and i really can't make eye contact with trevor or aaron while i say this i came 20 times i don't even i don't think I want the eye contact on that one. I started counting at 13. Is he paying you to just plug this on the podcast? No, I don't know. That's not possible. 13? I started counting at 13.

I was like, okay, 14. First of all, women don't cum. Let's be real. It's a hoax. Wait, I, yeah, I can't. 20 is crazy. Well, think about the box up to my knees. Like, think about the gizmos and gadgets this man was.

Yeah, but there's like a reset period. Yeah. I mean, I was in there for a cool four and a half hours. Like, when we left, the sun came up. Wow. That's five times an hour. Yeah. Good math.

Thank you. Yeah. I'm not even kidding. So, having a big dick and toys? Refractory period included. Okay. I promise you I cannot make this up up i put it as the best sex of my life on this list okay okay listen and so page and ty are they still there when you left

yeah they're great so they heard 20 fucking uh yes yes yes yes yes alongside of taylor swift page said that it didn't even sound like hot or like sexual it sounded like zoo animal noises like that i was just like actually like screaming like an orangutan i am scared this is like nowhere near like where it ends okay a couple nights go by and i'm about to leave paris and i'm like i need to see this guy one more time i can't allow i can't allow that to be the only time and also I love him he's so funny I think being so funny too when you're like first language is not even English yeah I feel like it would be hard to be funny in another language

like and so I'm just so impressed and it's just like that I love him he's doing like gag gifs with his dick he's like and so I go back the final night and i i just am gonna save the escapades that it took me to get there because they will hurt some other people but just know i had to really do some magic tricks to get myself back to this man's house and so page ty and i go and this time it's different you know he's like here's the wine for page and ty like here's the ox like we've got business to, here's the ox. Like, we've got business to do. Like, entertaining the children. Damn. Yeah, because we've been, like, sexting for, like, all the days.

Is this on iMessage or WhatsApp? Because WhatsApp is a different level of horny. Everything feels horny on WhatsApp. I've definitely sexted on WhatsApp in my life. And don't the photos automatically, like, save to your phone if you're on WhatsApp? So now all of a sudden you – that happened to me one time. It was with my boyfriend. I opened his camera roll and I was like, sent you that oh that's true yeah anyways we

know this time it's like straight to business you know what i mean yes and no talking we get in this room and the beds in most apartments from paris like come down from the ceiling like you take like a metal wire oh is it like one of those that you know no it doesn't fold down it like there's like four holes in the wall and it's like in the ceiling and then he has a pulley bed like but it's like on chains it's bougie yeah it's funny it's like like take it to the floor and then just come quick and then you just put it back all the way up to the top like it's so awkward to be like uh so did you finish no but no no there was none of that energy okay yeah i'm like pull that fucking bed down and so he pulls the bed down and we revisit the box the box of okay things you know maybe he just like lives in like a sex dungeon do you ever

think about that uh yeah but i mean a really nice one i'm down for it um and so this bed is hanging from four chains on the wall and this man handcuffs my first arm to chain one and my second arm to chain two. How big is the bed? And like a like a queen. OK, maybe a king. My ankle, my ankle to chain three and my other ankle to chain four. So I'd be so nervous to sneeze. And so he starts fucking me.

And then after a while, he opens the sex toy box to, oh my God, I can't say this. I can't even believe I'm saying this on cancel. This is like really actually, I can Bible say this is the worst sexual story I've ever told on this podcast. Like it is just so unspeakable. He takes out. I'm serious. Hold on. He takes out a double-ended glass dildo that is like 10 inches long wait double-ended can you describe can i need more detail than that

like two penis but one gummy worm oh so it's like a penis on each side yeah why would it ever have to be oh guess where it goes oh no he puts it in my ass and then i put it in his ass like a scissoring fucking airdrop and you guys were human centipeding like like we like we're like in a scissor sitch like because my legs are like this in the x or him not scissored but like you know what i mean like wait i can't hold on and then honestly to make matters worse i'm like leaning forward and sucking his dick i could keep going it's still it gets so much are you still handcuffed yeah wait how if it's in your ass and his ass how are you sucking his like leaning forward it'll come out of my ass a little i don't i don't know i've never done anything like this my life anything to ever walk in on like there's so many layers to that

this sounds and this romantic end like how did like then it's just we eventually stopped doing all that and then like you know i was like unhandcuffed then we had like normal so we fucked for like five and a half hours again that's and like that's just too long i'm actually not kidding you the next day i was like limping for like days i yeah like limping and limping and limping and the next day he was just serving other tables would you like some more escargot? Seriously, that's kind of scary. I didn't go back to the restaurant.

There was no way I could look at him. You couldn't walk. Honestly, I don't know if I could respect a man after that. I know, but weirdly I can. Come 20 times, we know. Yeah, he knows what he wants. He's a man. Yeah, 20 times. Never mind.

And it's like hot that you're like so secure with it. Like you're just, I don't know, whatever. Yeah, that is. Yeah, okay. never mind and it's like hot that you're like so secure with you like you're just i don't know whatever yeah that is yeah okay and so then we leave to go to italy and like four days go by and we're texting all day whatever blah blah blah and he texts me i booked a flight to italy i'll see you tomorrow at 3 p.m god you have all these guys flying out for you what am i doing wrong you're so right i never do things like that okay like that no that no no you're out of town it's fun i guess so yeah yeah foreign dick does it even count this is on the

other side of the pond you know oh extra credit there it is on the side of the pond and now i don't know how to tell the rest of this story but let's just say that's the rest wait what else happens what sex toys did he bring to italy that's what i want to know what did a leash in a collar who used it him or you um i used everything this time it was like so he was on the leash i was on the leash oh okay oh no did you bark when you had it on you i feel you let out one i can is the thing that's awesome we can talk about anything else as well listen i got nothing that hits that level of entertainment i needed someone else here to hear it honest to god because i don't know if i would have had i can't believe like i can't believe

this is going out there on the internet i really can't it's gonna there's nothing wrong i know i just like the point of it all i thought that story was gonna have like a different ending or i thought it was gonna end bad but it sounds great honestly it sounds like the point of it all. I thought that story was going to have like a different ending or I thought it was going to end bad, but it sounds great. Honestly, it sounds like you. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why that would make you want to go celibate. I feel like that would make you honestly just want to do it more.

No, I was like crawling on the Naples, Italy airport floor, like asking God why this happened to me. Did you still have the leash on or no? Paige is walking me. That's a great story. It's not. You know, it's great material and you're living a life to talk about. Because when you guys go on tour, this is the stuff they want to hear.

Nobody wants to say, oh, I'm celibate. Cool. Would you fuck a fleshlight on a Tuesday night? Boring. I don't know. I invited my dad to the last live show and he left like, oh, wow. Oh, really? Yeah.

It was like a lot of stuff like that. But is your dad familiar with the podcast and does he listen i don't think he's an active listener but i think he knows everything i do she's like your podcast is probably like the one thing i won't tune into yeah i get it i get it you have any advice for us going on tour yeah i think uh first of all it's exhausting and you're gonna be in all these cities and everyone's gonna be like did you go here did you do this no you wake up in a hotel especially when you you go East Coast, you lose time. You wake up at like 4 p.m. and you're like, oh, the show's in 20 minutes.

Like it's at like 7. So you literally just sleep and you like just kind of go to the venue super early sound checking and kind of hang out there. What do you think we should do on stage? Have you ever toured a podcast or do you just like? We've done a few live shows as a podcast. Okay, perfect. It's hard to do a podcast um live because my instincts are stand-up so it makes i want to like chase a laughter but here you're just being real

like if there's a crowd here your response to people laughing is going to be different yeah so like i just play to the crowd it's going to be hard to like banter how you guys do without people interrupting yeah that's what i noticed is like the whole time it's like us talking out never to each other exactly and then when you guys are talking to each other you're like looking for the laughs maybe so it's like hard to talk and well inevitably like you'll start talking to each other then somebody will yell out like talk about the french man with the giant hog and then you're like all right so you like pan into it but a live podcast is fun like it's just it's unscripted there's and i think that's the best way it is at the end of the day they're just excited to see you guys. That's the advice that everyone gives us.

But I want someone to be like, go out there and do this. It'll make the crowd. I know. I know my friends do Girls Gotta Eat podcast. And they have people come up on stage. So you guys could like, if you tell a story about, let's say you use that French guy's dick, for example. Bring the dick as a guest. No.

But what you can do is be like, does anybody in the crowd have a story uh similar to that so you guys tell a story then you bring somebody up to talk about their story and then you guys just make comments on their story that's so scary though because like because i have the worst luck with that every time i've ever done that on tour i'll pick someone and they'll come and be like actually i just had no story i just like love you or she it. Or she had a live Spotify show one time where it was, like, people would call in. And, like, I feel like. Oh, yeah. Like, sometimes it would be, like, either the story was anticlimactic or, like.

You know. But, listen. I'll do anything. I just get scared because, like, not that they don't want to see me, but they really want to see her. So then I'm there, like. That's less pressure, right? Yeah, probably. I don't know. I'm but they really want to see her so then i'm there like that's pressure right yeah probably i don't know i'm excited for you it really does i don't know what i'm gonna tell on that where you can have people like um write down or uh like their story and then you read it and then you have somebody like screen them before you do it that way you

don't get any like duds that's true that's smart so what's your love life like i'm single i'm trying to date trying to find love in this damn town just, I've been going on a lot of dates and it's just a lot of like, um, immediately like, oh, this isn't good chemistry. Yeah. Okay. But then you just sit there and you're like. I'm like slay. No.

I'm just kidding. Um, I don't know. I'm just looking for love in this town, trying to find it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or right. I think I've gotten to the point and maybe my parisian encounter like made this feel a little more prominent than it is but like is there love in la no maybe like chatsworth gonna go to the valley i don't know i i don't know i mean like a lot of it's fun i don't know i'm just kind of dating but i tour a lot i'm always kind of gone so it's hard to stay here and whatnot but i don't know it's just funny like i

i feel like i have big shoes to fill in this town just because like i'll go on a date with a girl and she's like oh yeah like my ex also toured and i'll be like oh that's so cool like was he in a band or something and she's like, do you know the 1975? And I'm like, fucking yeah. I know the 1975. You dated Maddie Healy? Yeah, I think we know who that is. And then it's like, my ex used to work at Jamba Juice.

Like, how the fuck am I supposed to fill these leads? You can't. You're Trevor Wallace. You're you and you're an icon. Yeah. Perfect. That's going to, also I've been on, you know. Probably hasn't dated anyone funnier. True.

I'm just kidding. There's funny people out there. Unless she's like us. But it's usually the funny girls are the craziest ones. I think your girl the other night might have been a little bit of a Tana fan. She took selfies with me. Really? Maybe fuck her after.

Chip on stars and think of me. We did. Yeah. We just watched Cancel Podcast and made love. Yeah, she's a fun girl. She's really beautiful. Yeah, she's like a she's a fun girl you know she's really beautiful yeah she's uh tell every single camera in here this guy fucks sometimes i don't know i don't know what the hell is going on i don't have any cool stories like that i went to amsterdam and spain no bitches

really no bitches how i feel like those are all the girls who like come with guys right and i feel like trevor's very much the type where you i feel like those are all the girls who like come with guys right and i feel like trevor's very much the type where you i feel like you kind of let things naturally come to you like you're not gonna go up to a girl and be like so how are you finding a ibiza i hope not yeah no no i i no i never go up to people i think it's embarrassing really yeah i've never hit on anyone in your life i mean i do but like i think best case scenario is kind of like somebody's like are you oh and then i'm like oh because then you say best case scenario is that they're a fan i think he did say that i'm not a fan but like if they're just like i don't know maybe they just want yeah i don't know i have i don't know that when i first saw you i for i have

like a hard time differentiating between people i actually know or like have just seen so like we met at whitney's and i literally was like oh hey like thinking you were my friend and i was like oh shit he's not my friend we see enough people on the internet enough times you're like we know each other yeah but i didn't i didn't no i don't even think it's the fan aspect i think it's just like i i think rejection to me is so like i don't know why it fucks my head so much so if i go up to a hot chick and she's like no then I'm the rest of the night I'm just sitting there just listening to Marvin's room in my head being like god what did I do wrong so you guys went on a date we did we did so did you and you don't be rude we didn't go on a date I came up with bunny ears and rode the wheel yeah Tony's in bunny ears yeah also when we can cut this part but you kept saying in the interview like oh my god i was so drunk when i was there girl you were doing the

75 hard you were sober for that shit you were no i was not i was not sober you think no because i did this was in october and i started 75 hard in january i know i just don't want you the people listening to that episode when you're talking about it be like trevor just having to hammer girls come over no no no no no no no and we'd been texting for like a while like this and clearly like i'm me like yeah no like i don't think no and i wasn't that drunk because i like i remember everything and was like not we're chilling yeah yeah yeah but yeah no way no yeah and then you know i don't know why but like at the whitney thing i we, we like knew each other, but like we never, but we never met each other.

What was your dinner date like? Can you rate your experiences with both of us? One to 10. Oh, I. We were talking about this before. I. Rate your experience with her. One to 10.

I don't know if I want this to happen. Actually, you're going to get a 10. I'm going to get a three. I don't think so. I was fully clothed. So was I, right? No bunny ears in sight. Right.

I think we all have to go on one more date together just so i can really feel it out just all three of us that's honestly that's such a good idea and i think mini mini bachelor that's like a good little pr thing like we're just in a throuple with trevor wallace that is really funny we're just sitting at a booth i'm sitting on one side you're on the other two ladies i wanted to bring one rose but i i stopped at a whole food before this they don't have roses there that's what i thought you were gonna do because you were telling me i was gonna do one rose and then just be like funny be like you will fight over my love wait that is funny i think we should just bring him on tour and then we won't have to say a word because that's his thing beautiful i love it oh like he'll talk on stage i will do the uh jokey jokes on microphone you're gonna love

tour but yeah rate rate fight for me please stop i i just actually wanted to know ours was like very wholesome like we literally we just went to dinner i was honestly blacked out beforehand also oh yeah in the episode where you guys uh talk about me and my fucking pawn stars that you you said you went on two dates that day was i the first or the last date who was the first man here is sitting over here like i'm so wholesome i would never french man massive cock i'm a wholesome you went on two dates okay but this is two chains what is happening did you hear the context like i had already had the date planned with you okay okay and you were the bet the better one you were the one who actually set a plan wait so it was after that was it yeah what i dropped you off at like 11 no no no it was your

you were at you were the second oh hold up i'm getting some dude sloppy no no here i am taking you to nobu with the shitty seat no kitchen no it was just like a just like a i saw him briefly for like a second during the day the double date but this is why you can't find love and loss i think i'm having a wholesome night at nobu well it was a it was an accidental cards that night it was an accidental coincidence i had been planning the other one coincidence girl you're just saying shit no accidental coincidence is so funny it was a coincidence yeah that had been planned for so long but it was just like it kept getting like moved around but then yours was already planned so then it just happened to be like he was like oh what if we did it during the day on saturday

and i was like i am free but i drank during that date so then i was like drunk already when i got to your date i'm just another stoppy little no but it was like it was i she asked me which date was better and i said yours i'm a good guy i don't like how quiet it got who do i know but you went on a date with my friend who's your friend her we didn't go on a date technically okay well to him it was definitely like pawn stars it's like oh my god i still think about that night i'm just kidding i'm just kidding did i know the guy before um maybe where'd you guys go i don't think yeah let's compare dates here i took you to nobu and they gave us the worst seat in the house please tell him what the first date was please please yeah you have to she literally just said she got double fisted by a French man. I'm Trevor here all the time.

I'm good. Podcast. Hey. Also, when you said on your podcast, you're like, I did Trevor's Lil Stiff Socks podcast. The Lil was unnecessary. We do well on audio. You do so well. You do so well.

I didn't mean little like that. I get it. What was the date beforehand? It was like a picnic at a lookout. This guy's crushing it. Yeah. Did you guys hook up? lookout. This guy's crushing it. Yeah. Did you guys hook up? No.

No? No. Damn. I wouldn't do that. You can prove. Yeah. So anyway. Who was the guy?

He's referred to on the podcast as Mr. Flaky Flake because he's a flake. And that's how we ended up accidentally going on a date the same day as your date. So did you tell Mr. flaky flake you had plans at night for another day or you're like oh i did not know i lied to both of you i think i told you that you were like oh college friends were in town before you said that to him i was drunk yeah here i am i think she's a wholesome woman like she's showing your friends alay maybe she took him like you're showing something i was drunk that was like the first like what was I gonna say like I had a picnic

could you have a picnic with I'm not gonna ask that I'll probably ask that I don't know it was the crushing it was the first thing that came to my mind I don't know yeah college friends in town what did I know but I told him I told him that I had dinner with

college friends I don't even know any college friends like i don't even have friends at all yeah i don't know sorry that was a lie look i get it it is it's tough out there but it was an accident it's just nice to know that women are fuckboys too and it's wholesome to know but i had not gone i hadn't gone on a date in like three four months prior to that. And then I just happened to. Yeah. Huh?

The same. But when I heard that, I was like, wait, hold up, hold up, hold up. That was an accident. I was listening to that podcast with headphones on and a magnifying glass on the screen. I was like, what are y'all talking about? I'm sorry. Well, I didn't want to cancel because I wanted to go on the date. That was sweet.

Yeah, see? That was really sweet. Okay, so we're all just terrible, really. Yeah, and apparently I'm some kind Well, I didn't want to cancel because I wanted to go on the date. That was sweet. Yeah, see? That was really sweet. Okay, so we're all just terrible, really. Yeah, and apparently I'm some kind of fucking whore. No, it's just so funny. I'm some kind of fucking whore. Never again. Nobody's a whore here.

We're all just living life, trying to figure it out. Yeah, we're dating in LA. So how long are you going to go solo for? Honestly, if I can even just make it to the show we have in Connecticut in 36 hours. Do you hook up with girls on tour not really i have not really more so i don't know i just trust la girls more which is weird enough i just because like you're in the scene you get it entertainment this and that like the last thing you want to do is like hook up with some chick in like new brunswick new jersey and she's like

you're my ticket to hollywood yeah that's fair i don't know i have a friend who's like a female dj and she was um fucking a guy in like a random city and she turned around there and doggy and she turned around and he was like taking a selfie style video no and what's funny is this girl is so crazy that she just took the camera and started like talking to it like just kept her recording and then sent it to his group chat and was like because he was gonna do this anyways like i'll just do it yeah the girl's trying to take it be real and in bed and i was like whoa this is weird and she's like oh no like you weren't even gonna be in it girl the camera's pointed at me that was like kind of weird to me and i was like ah this is like i don't yeah because at the end of the day it's just like yeah i get i actually never ever ever do hook up with just like

like this paris person was such an anomaly like normally I have to know you and know your intentions but I just trusted him because of his third leg. Yeah. Yeah. That fucking big dick energy. Yeah. And also like the road you're just exhausted. Aaron just like looks so disappointed. Yeah that's true.

I feel like it but if I were like if I were touring and I was just like well I guess I am. I mean definitely have like those like road hookups are like kind of fun because it's like in the moment you're like what a good show hey you're cool what's going on yeah whatever none of that for me on this tour oh i'm honestly i feel very lucky that our audience is like 95 women not that i'm not bi but can i open the show what 95 woman oh can i do your audience like a lot of girls too no it's actually very mixed it's like it's like i love my fan base it's like very it's like uh it's like very like post-college but also like couples and married i guess you have like the frat boy end of it too yeah i feel like

that's who like i'm just happy that ours is for the most part like little girls because imagine it was like hella guys like i would just be i would love it i'd be like hey no because guys don't laugh at anything you don't want a fan base that's all dudes like all women well women aren't funny to men that's just like a fact women women like men don't think women are funny like or should be anyway okay so he thought about the pr answer he thought about what he could have said and then he was like you know what no because i think you guys are funny oh thank you i'm also trying to fuck now but no i think you're gonna have an awesome time on tour and the thing is you can do whatever you want there's no like right or wrong way to like do touring you should bring a gallon of milk on

every single stage on every single show and then pick one person to come up and you pour it on the both of them and you what the fuck it sounds like it'd get views to be honest yeah then people would see on like melrose like it's the milk bitch i don't mind i don't i think we should really bring back cow's milk i think it's so stupid that we've added so many others i hate it it is a crazy thing it's funny how like 10 years ago it was like you strong bones but now you drink it i know remember how like milk was like literally marketed as like the most healthy thing for you? It's like pus.

Drink your milk. It's like, isn't like. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. I don't like milk because it reminds me of my childhood trauma. My dad really liked milk and he didn't really like me.

Like what about like. Aw. Some things like require milk, like spaghetti requires milk. Like if you're having, if you're having a plate of spaghetti, you have to have a glass of milk. Where are you from again? Arizona. You forgot where I was from?

Doesn't that give like Iowa? I don't know what's fucking real or not. College friends are in town. I'm so sorry. Who was the man? Show me him. I like spaghetti with sour cream. What the fuck?

So yeah, you have to. And if you want to get real spunky, this was on iCarly and I thought it was a bit... And is it sour cream just fucking a different form of milk? Yeah, for some reason it's like I will eat butter and sour cream by the spoonful. My sister used to eat butter by like the cube as a child. He turns butter.

No, I don't. I can see it. He's Amish. Are you really? No. He's reformed. We're from the Amish area, yeah. Where?

Me and Steven. Amish area. Dude, I saw Amish when I was on tour. Tour UC. He's reformed. We're from the Amish area, yeah. Where? Me and Steven. Amish, Amish area. Dude, I saw Amish when I was on tour. Tour UC. I saw Amish. I saw a flock of Amish. Like it's a net. I saw Jewish.

No, there's a show. It's called Breaking Amish. Have you seen it? Yeah. It's phenomenal. Of course I have. That's another like pawn store. I was just.

I don't watch like normal TV. Like I don't watch. That is normal TV. Yeah, but like when I. i but no like normal tv is like the idol and like like actual succession i'm over there like do the fucking homage are beefing again claudia touched an iphone like i love shitty tv like my strange addiction is topped give that an emmy are these all on the same channel i feel like they all tlc i think so what's the one with the oh the duggers were you into the duggers i don't know if you can say that word anymore i know we're not supposed to i like this is called this is called canceled the duggers did get canceled i love you

you don't want to know like i love them like 90 days fiance like there's nothing better than these motherfuckers have no chemistry i should go on that show motherfuckers got no chemistry like you're married what's your dream show to go on like that if you could go on one probably 90 day fiance mine's survivor survive honestly true i want to go on survivor just so i can grow out a beard for 30 days straight and i could judge for having shitty facial hair oh that's fair oh my god imagine the pubes because when they make the girls wear bikinis how come they don't have like active bushes that you can see their leg hair sometimes like flowing in the wind i watched literally like

i'm like a survivor in the beginning of um quarantine i don't know probably any of the my strange addiction was so funny well you know a lot of those are staged like do you know trisha paytas had an episode of my strange addiction what was her addiction tanning like tanning beds i really am addicted to that yeah yeah i mean they're all staged there's one where like some dude's eating a mattress and you're like i really hope he's not fucking feeding isn't that like an illness it's like tikka something i think there's a lot of illness on the tlc network i want to do a sketch that's like how tlc pitches shows oh she's 600 pounds like we don't get it but like and she's ambidextrous so like you're getting closer and she's colorblind okay okay they just like push them so far and then

who the fuck would watch that fast forward to that now you're watching it like the pimple popper all that my fucking thousand pound wife all this shit my thousand pound wife these are like all like you're like why would you watch this but then you're just fascinated that is really like i don't know what show i would go on if i could go on a show i feel like i'd want to be on my 600 pound life just to see what it's like well you'd have you want to be rolled into the back of a minivan with no seats you're right that's fucked up you'd want to be on it like as a cast member who is also 600 pounds yes okay yeah so the opposite of ozempic you want to put it well imagine like no okay i'm getting into dangerous territory here new subject just a little bit no but i would and the people know it you really

would so what are you guys types you like skinny cigarette boys yeah but apparently anything what do you like i have like a other men we're matching brooke it was an accident and he's gone that was the last time i saw him oh good what's his name dox him can't tell you can i see a photo after you're hurt you're a little what are you gagging on the french man's spirit right now um my type is like actually i don't really think i have a type i feel like everybody has been like completely completely different i was gonna say something but it's so offensive so i won't but it historically has not worked out for me so i think i'm gonna switch it up soon it's good yeah maybe that's what we all need to just switch it up you don't need to go sell but just switch it up yeah i'm like my type is um i'm like comedians we know your type tattoos dying under eye bags like deep-rooted issues face tats yeah

makes music questionable if it's good or bad bad yeah is it hotter if a guy's really bad at music or really good at music really good really yeah but bad's kind of fun bad's fun because you can kind of be like telling them what to like oh maybe don't do that like people written songs about you so many so many heard i just got a new song written about me but it's nice actually okay that's good oh but oh fuck like diss tracks or just like i'll miss you so much i don't know what accent that was but they're usually historically on average mean yeah well your last thing is up my life you know oh that's kind of cool energy any like notable songs i don't know like isn't that jocelyn song written

about logan paul it. That's pretty cool. It's a good song. It's a great song. Olivia O'Brien's hot. I would love to have her. Olivia O'Brien's so hot. Are you shooting your shot on Canceled? Olivia.

She and I have the same birthday. So she's probably just like me. Interesting. So you want to go get some milk and cookies after this? Mm-hmm. This is a hard watch. Shoot your shot. What's up?

It is like getting laid off the canceled podcast is probably super real do you get weird dms ever now oh well even seth gets up seth said like no i'm saying seth said you posted him and immediately got dms no way he told you the tana like ripple effect is crazy wait tell me tell me yeah dude even your security guard is getting hosed honestly my security guard actually does gets hosed he has a lot of people saying well aaron's hot jeffrey shore i mean i'm so excited could you imagine i deleted them well could you just tell me like what the gist yeah i mean it was like immediately after it was like immediately after i made me feel really good about myself what were they that's the most honest thing you've ever said in my life

but it is funny like what people will latch on to uh when they do dm you either in my stand-up or like i did theo von's podcast flex that's the biggest flex i love him done it twice he's my fucking boy i love him and i hope everybody you know i just dm'd him being like i want to go on and he was like okay i'll let you know but i'm all potted out right now he yeah no i go sick he records like crazy in advance really we try to like but he uh but i said on there i had a story in dallas where some girls like have chocolate sauce off my titties this was years ago and then the dms after that podcast were like you can have chocolate sauce off my titties like so people just like whatever you say like so some guy will dm you be like i can

give you more of that two percent you know like they will make a milk pun and convert it to the penis yeah and you'll have guys dm you because this podcast and% you know like they will make a milk pun and convert it to the penis and you'll have guys DM you because of this podcast and they'll be like you don't need to go celebrate after tonight they like just find the one thing the one little tiny thing revert it back to you mine are never that nice mine are always like your DMs like yeah like mine are like I feel

like all the guys that cited my DMs to like random guys are always gonna reference like Jake Paul they're like I'll give you better than Jake Paul I wouldn't like that yeah like it's awful or like yeah but like you like all these like tattooed like heroin boys like they do but they're not like creative like they're not gonna get they're not gonna shoot their shot but i kind of mean like random people like it's oh like the tattooed heroin boys will be like sup thought and i'm like god you're so sweet do you slide in girls dms starting to more i forget that you can i just i just i like rejection i just like fucks my head so much so if i send it

and then they don't say anything in two days i'm like oh fuck you then if maybe they didn't do it if you do what's your like go-to like what do you say my friend uh actually chad churley's i love him he he told me something funny i've just been experimenting now chad does mom question mark and then it just leaves it up open you know where does that go interesting i would respond to that i said one the other day uh i saw you on this one clothing brand now i'm here help what do i do it's terrible wait what did you have that's awful i'm just kidding it's so terrible wait you but that one that one what do you mean what did i have you there was one that got shared recently god sent me here that's good but no no no it isn't good because now everybody knows about

it people have actually been sliding my dms crazy saying god sent me here now which so i guess you're right they do my bag this pussy atheist and then block him this pussy but um all right but that one was kind of a bit. I got dared to do it. It's something like Lila says a lot. But that's... I like a good old-fashioned hi. Me too, but then it's like I wouldn't respond to a hi,

so it's like why would they respond to a hi? But they want you. If they want you, they're going to respond. If not, and then you can kind of play off hi. If they don't want you, it can just be like, oh, just saying hi. Hi, it's kind of just like it's essentially like when a girl sends a gif on bumble you're like what are we doing here there's no substance my hinge literally says like no gifs

please like i i don't know why a gif is like my biggest ick in the world like it's just like lazy and it's just it also like if you do like a gif from the office like you're not laying shit down no guy's ever done like a fucking meme of jim and pam like this could be us shut up i feel like i just don't i just don't think so what what should i be doing help me out ladies what do i do how do i go on dates when the girl's not on a date before the other date that was a real accident and i feel really bad about it no it's just funny so what so what how do i slide what do i do well you had good like we had a lot of cat conversation yeah in the beginning that

was like that gets me it's national cat day is it shut up is it actually oh my god it's like what are we doing to celebrate it's almost like you saw my outfit when i walked in the door and then you changed we're literally matching you couldn't be matching more like if i saw us walking down melrose i'd be like wow i want what they have and we honestly kind of look i said that on the way here or before you got here i said my biggest fear in life is being on uh siblings or dating have you know instagram oh my god well imagine being on you posted that like young photo of you today and i was like that looks like me like the freckles and the ginger but all you can't tell but i have freckles i'm wrong i gaslighted you what it's on october 29th it's the august 8th i don't care every day is national cat day

yeah all these days don't mean anything. He texted me afterwards a photo of my bunny ears on his bed and he said, this is a power move, LMAO. It is. Because now what?

Now you have to go back for your bunny ears. You left those there on purpose and you know it. I 100% did and I wouldn't admit it until later. And you took a photo of me

wearing the bunny ears also holding a baby. It's like one of the like, it looks like an album cover. It's a good photo. It is a good photo. I responded and said, almost left them on the stair chair. The stair chair is great.

I think that's a really cool thing to have in your house. Honestly, I think you should install one in your new house. I'm going to. I feel like it would save you a lot of time and effort. Or I'll, you know, maybe after hearing today's episode, I'll put some chains on my bed and be like, oh, ladies. I was going to say that during that story. I think that's arguably a lot weirder than the stair chair yeah the stair chair also wasn't my choice it was my landlord like it was handcuffs like they just happened to work

really well with the type of what you guys know i didn't put that in on myself right like my landlord yeah i assumed as much my landlord was like gaslighting me i was like oh you should take this out he's like yeah but if we take him out there's gonna be a lot of ugly holes in the stairs i was like sir i think it's cool i think you guys are mad are we hitting it off right now yeah yeah i'm like the chair anymore oh man so you don't have the you didn't bring it with you you didn't think no i don't i don't know man this has been an episode for sure been an episode i'm having an episode i'm i'm actually happy for you in the france story are you yeah because it's like you like you're going abroad story you'll never forget that like you feel like everybody has like a story like like you'll be

like 48 smoking a cigarette your little kids running around you're like the france days you kids don't know about peppy the fucking pew you know like it's like you lived you did it you went across the world you met a foreign man you got dicked down uh in a bdsm chamber it's you are it's inspirational should we have him on the podcast when he comes here all these hoes are going to mykonos for what shitty dick you got what you just you got it so i'm proud of you i went to amsterdam no hoes spain no hoes well now better luck next time. Yeah. Well, now all the canceled thotties are going to come running, trying to go to Amsterdam and Spain with you. So.

I'm out. You definitely won. Ibiza. Ibiza. Please. Do you have anything you, any stories you want to share? I don't. I'm sorry.

I didn't really come in with anything good today. Well, also, it's like hard to like match that level. Like that was. Yeah. Usually we don't. Like, I feel like I'll tell a level like that was so usually we don't like i feel like i'll tell a story like that and he'll be like listen to what happened with my cat but do you ever come in and have like those like crazy episodes where you're like girls sit down no i fucked a man in a porta potty oh i did have an incident behind barney's beanery

yeah oh you told me we yeah that was fun you told me about that and then we drove past barney's beanery and i was like and i was like wouldn't it be funny to recreate that barney's barney's beanery has the least sexual appeal name in the world it does but for me it was something so funny about that i like a good story the people that attend there though are like my type peak type yeah like the guys like the cigarettes of it all i will say i went there like recently after a show it's a cool like vibe like the people that hang out there it all felt like a movie scene yeah like a set like a certain person so you see how that could happen of course well guys thank you for coming on stiff socks uh this is a beautiful episode yeah i've been

wanting to do this just so your people who listen to cancel aren't like my comment we don't hate trevor we love trevor the comments after the episode dropped like were so annoying because So your people who listen to Cancel aren't like my comment. We don't hate Trevor. We love Trevor. Yeah, exactly. The comments after the episode dropped like were so annoying because I would post anything. I'd be like just like reaching for something in a photo book. Is that how you were reaching for Tana? Is that how you were reaching for Paul?

Like everything. I couldn't do anything without it. I hate that that comes like with the territory of like what we do because I love to tell stories about shit. But I hate when people find them. Well, if we hadn't said I said your name. If if we hadn't said your name they would have known it was about you anyway well and also if you guys hadn't called me i probably would have kept doing the paul and stars thing and eventually like it's just sad after a point i gotta get a new tv show you really do you do but i don't know i'm trying to think of what like actually would be like a hot

tv show to watch the roku loading screen roku city roku city the amount of people i got pipes roku city is crazy that is actually probably it's a good mood lighting it's kind of like like purpley and dark that's probably right up there with like are you still watching yeah yeah someone should make a show called like are you still watching and it's like specifically for people who hook up to it it's our planet yeah our planet is that your move aaron david attenborough fuck yeah you listen to it but that's like too like slow how he talks like would not make me aroused only done that once you fucked to the b movie once more than once unfortunately the same movie i don't know it's like actually like a weirdly like like she like develops feelings for it's actually like a

really strange movie if you think about it's kind of sexual but that wasn't my choice i had like an insane amount of sex in a period of my life to george lopez like it was because of the time that it was on nick at night and that makes perfect sense no no not when i was 14 oh like at my last house like like a year ago see you got those those go to shows. Cause you're not watching them to watch. Yeah and just imagine like you're writing people all of a sudden it's like dun dun dun dun dun dun It is pretty good like hype music.

Fuck yeah! So the B movie were you guys watching it and then you were watching it? No I think that was just like his thing that he always Every guy has a thing and they all suck. My roommate in college used to play fucking country music while doing sex. I think that was just like his thing that he Oh I spot my mouth Every guy has a thing and they all suck My roommate in college used to play fucking country music While doing sex

While doing sex is so funny I've done sex before That's why you can't like fuck with a guy who likes house music That's cause it's like why would I want to listen to that I kind of am with that Country is like cool Country is the vibe Country made you fall in love with a girl

The weekend is like my go to I guess I don't listen to the weekend at all unless i'm getting the week yeah weekend's 20 hours yeah yeah but because it just works if you're trying to like come off as like normal to someone like you can put on the weekend and you like look pretty normal okay my go-to you know but i'm right i'm like writing all this down yeah i want to hear the episode where you come in and you're like man i fucked a man and his cock was a pool noodle. This show is huge. No way. Hopefully soon. Why?

There's just a lot to do with pools. There's like around here. We can't do it again. We can't do it again. We've got to give this man a break. I know. The next time we talk about him, it's got to be just like Trevor. He's got to come on the show.

Otherwise, we are just getting creepy at this point. Long story. We'll tell you after. Great. Lots to see after. I want to see this photo of this date dude and I want to see his French man's penis. You're going to have to see it all. I'm not going to lie.

Trevor, my favorite episodes are when a friend just comes on and like talk shit about life and it's not like a whole interview. So I loved that. Interview podcasts suck. We had you. Please. I'm happy to just be here. We, I've never once hated you.

I just had to tell my story and And now you know the whole truth. And I'm sorry for going on two dates in one day. It will never happen again. But we love you so very much, Trevor Wallace. Guys, go listen to the Stiff Girls podcast. And come see us on tour. Trevor's actually going to be a special guest at every show because we're going to be in a throuple.

Bye. Thank you.